Feel better NOW and find joy in life's little pleasures with Catherine Roscoe Barr

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Welcome back to the All Figured Out podcast.
I am your host, Andrea Barr, andit is such a pleasure to be
coming to you on video. If you were watching this on
YouTube. Hello.
I hope you are enjoying doing your makeup, doing the dishes,
just having us serve me entertain you while you're doing
the mundane tasks of life and parenting.

(00:22):
So this is a really special episode.
This is the very first one that I have recorded in person.
This is an introduction that I'mobviously recording after the
fact. And it was so special to get to
really invest in the quality of this podcast.
We are 96 episodes in almost three years and it has just been
such a blast, such a ride and I can't wait to bring bring you

(00:44):
more of this quality and this leveling up of all figured out
into your ears. And now onto YouTube.
So if this is something that youusually listen to on Spotify or
Apple, I encourage you to head over to YouTube as well and go
subscribe and have a little watch.
So this episode is also very special because I have the
incredible Catherine Roscoe bar with me.

(01:06):
I interviewed her in person and she is just phenomenal.
We met, we hit it off right away.
I won a copy of her book, which is just the best and I devoured
the book. It's called Feel Better Now and
she is just an incredible human being.
So I knew I had to have her on the podcast.

(01:26):
Catherine Roscoe Bar is a neuroscience based Wellness
coach. She's the best selling author of
Feel Better Now and she is the founder of The Life Delicious.
She also hosts hosts amazing retreats, which I will put all
that information in the show notes so you can go check them
out. She's got I'm here in British
Columbia, one is happening in near Victoria in January and
then next summer she's doing onein the Okanagan.

(01:48):
So definitely something to startsaving up for to invest in
yourself in it is going to be incredible.
And I hope to be attending. I think the January 1 myself.
So TBD, but I digress. OK, so Catherine is here to
share how we can all feel better.
Now. I know that as a parent, a mom
of 2A working professional, there's so many times where I'm

(02:11):
like now I could just be so muchmore effective at life and just
enjoy life better if in this moment I could just feel a bit
better. Catherine's approach is so
grounded. Her book is so grounded.
She is such a grounded person and her whole belief is that you
can feel better now through simple life pleasures, practical
self-care and powerful neuroscience based actions,

(02:33):
which I freaking love. That aspect of her is the fact
that she is a neuroscientist andcomes at this with a really
grounded approach. We dive into everything from the
vagus nerve to her flexible framework for well-being and how
to really be intentional with self love and what might be
missing when you're just coming back to yourself and your
relationships. If you have been feeling

(02:55):
stretched then, if you're craving more balance or if you
just want more joy in your everyday life, you are
absolutely going to love listening or watching this
episode. I hope you enjoy.

(03:16):
When I was in my 20s and I was really depressed, I looked super
fit because I was a personal trainer, but I ate junk food and
fast food all the time and I didn't connect the dots that
eating junk makes you feel like junk.
Pretty much every human I've ever met is so kind and so
giving and so generous, and theydon't reflect that back to
themselves equally. When you generally smile at

(03:38):
someone, ask telling your brain I'm safe, I'm connected, that's
the parasympathetic nervous. System true or false?
Can you drink cold water and it stimulates the vagus nerve?
What's that thing I maybe saw onTikTok?
Catherine Roscoe Varr, thanks for joining me on the All
Figured Out podcast. Thanks for having me, that's so

(03:58):
excited. Oh, I could love you, girl.
We met a couple maybe a month ago, Yeah, or so.
I was in the audience of an International Women's Day event
that you were speaking on the panel for.
I was in love with every single one of you on the panel.
And then I just so happened to win a copy of Feel Better Now
then signed by Catherine Roscoe herself, and it would just felt

(04:20):
so pleasant. And I started reading it.
I slid into your DMS. I was like, um, hi, my name is
Andrea Barr. Yeah haha.
Last name, we met Shy and I was like, will you come in my
podcast? You were so gracious to say yes.
My gosh, I'm so excited to have this conversation.
With you, I'm so excited. And then I started devouring
your book and no relation. No relation.

(04:42):
Well, I married into this name, I think.
You did. I married into this name.
Too. Yeah.
So maybe there's a relation. Of made of ancestors.
We gotta get together and figureit out, yes.
These Scottish, I think Scottish, Scottish men, yes,
we'll stop stories one day abouttheir isms.
You have an incredible story. I know that through hearing you

(05:04):
speak and now just a glimpse into your book.
But I'm so excited to just ask you about your journey into your
career and motherhood and what Wellness looks like to you and
all the things. So how do we, where do we even
start? How did you even how did you get
into the Wellness industry? It's a long story.
I'll give you the condensed version for anyone listening who

(05:27):
hasn't figured out what they want to be when they grow up
yet. Just take heart and and just
keep going. I started my degree in pre vet
then I switched to pre Med. I found fitness while doing my
degree and I wanted to promote health rather than treat
disease. I started my career outside of

(05:47):
university working at a retirement home as the social
and fitness director which was incredible.
Got to see what it looks like totake care of yourself.
Like my old clients were 98 and 102.
I talk about their story in the book and they were so healthy
and with it and just incredible.So that was.
They would hold hands and dance.And the housekeepers would find

(06:08):
them like getting it on, which Iwas like, I want that to be me
when I'm 102, busted by housekeeping.
And I worked in gyms for 10 years.
And then I got really, really burnt out.
I wasn't taking my own advice. I wasn't practicing what I
preached. I was really unhappy.
So I switched to freelance writing and I started writing

(06:30):
about design and travel and foodand cocktails.
And then I landed on well-being.And as I began researching and
just kind of retreating back into myself, one day, I was
like, I'm really well, like, howdid I get here?
I've been trying for 15 years tobe well.
And something had really shiftedin me.
And so I had sworn I would neverwork with people again.

(06:52):
I just wanted to be like a reclusive writer in my robe
alone in my own home. So I decided to start a coaching
practice. I kind of reverse engineered
what had helped me get to my happy place, created a
curriculum, got set to launch it.
And the year that I decided I'm going to be well on this coach,
it was the hardest year of our life.

(07:13):
My husband was in two major accidents, had a bad concussion.
I had a miscarriage. I was really sick for a long
time and had to have multiple procedures.
We lost our we got kicked out ofour home.
He lost his job. It was like the most awful
things that could happen to us. However, we kind of looked at
each other and we're like, I'm kind of OK, are you OK?

(07:34):
Like I'm going, OK, how are we OK?
And I was like, oh, it's becausewe were practicing this stuff
I'm set to share with people. And so I told a friend and I was
like, I'm in really rough shape.I can't teach this stuff to
anyone. And she was like, I need it.
And another friend was like, I need it.
And that's how I started. And that was in 2013.
And I've been sharing what I wrote in the book since then and

(07:54):
I do multi day retreats and I still write and I I really
wanted to have a accessible way for anyone to get my advice.
And as I mentioned, I'm very reclusive, so this way I can
share with more people and stillstay in my bathroom with Home
Alone. Well, thank you for getting
dressed today. It's no small food.

(08:16):
And in the midst of all this, you had your.
Daughter, yeah, as well Yeah, I had her at 38.
My husband and I were together for 19 years before we had our
daughter, so it was a very intentional thing and we love
her. She's so great.
Also, parenting is hard. It's.
Hard, It's hard. It's so hard.
It made me, it, it almost like postpartum almost took me back

(08:40):
to my, my hard, hard days beforeI became well.
And I think that that was a really important life lesson for
me as a coach, as a writer, as ahuman to figure out, you know,
OK, my morning routine is not 2 1/2 hours anymore and literally
2 minutes cause I got a screaming and screaming baby.
And so it's, it's really informed what I call the

(09:02):
flexible framework in the book because, you know, we can be,
well, we don't need 2 or 4 or 8 hours a day.
We can take 2 minutes to just breathe and comfort ourselves
and move our body and hang out with awesome people and have
important conversations. So.
Yeah, and nourish and like, I love the reclaiming your

(09:22):
well-being and just simple, the power of simple pleasures.
Just like even on one book cover, I'm like, yes, yes, yes,
yes. I want to feel better.
Who doesn't want to feel better?Yeah, Even if you feel great,
you wanna feel better, better. Yeah.
And you're allowed to want more.Yes.
Always. It's like a spectrum that just
goes on and on and on and yeah. We take it back.

(09:42):
I know you're, you're very open about suffering with depression
for a long time, many years. And my, I lost my dad to suicide
when I was young and, and four before I knew what that was or
that's how he died. No, it just, it really, it just,
um, I don't know if I've ever did that on this podcast, but
yeah, that's, that's part of my story.
And so mental health is a real close, real near and dear.

(10:07):
I've had my own ups and downs, but in your journey suffering
with depression for 15 years. I think you said how I mean, if
as much as you're willing, like what was it, you know, what was
it that was pulling you back nowthat you're in hindsight and you
saw what pulled you out? Yeah, well.
You're also a neuroscientist. I know this brain comes.

(10:29):
Yeah, part of it, a big part of it, and this is a discovery that
keeps unfolding for me, and I just sort of spoke about it last
week for the first time with theclarity that I have today, is
that I was focused on the wrong things.
And part of that is that I didn't have the tools or the
understanding to focus on the right things.
And I think This is why so many of us are suffering.

(10:50):
And that's what I'm so passionate about.
Our brain has a negativity bias that is an important built-in
safety mechanism that kept our ancestors alive, you know,
poisonous plant, dangerous animal, warring tribe, you know,
like the people who survived to so that we're here today were
probably the ones that were mostnegative.
But now where we live and how welive, we're generally physically

(11:15):
safe. But this negativity bias is also
picks up on psychological threats and and especially with
digital devices now we can feel threatened all the time.
We can feel like you don't measure up to what we see on
Instagram or in magazines or anywhere.
And so, um, just, I just sort offed into this negative

(11:41):
rumination that so many of us can get.
But the awesome thing that I discovered, and I think the most
powerful thing we all have inside of us is choice and
awareness. And now I can see, oh, I'm, I'm
spiraling. And at any moment you can stop
yourself on that spiral and say,OK, I see it.
It doesn't have to be this way. I'm choosing to just spiral up

(12:03):
to spiral in a different direction.
And so when I learned that that's what turned my life
around when I turned 30 was was rock bottom for me.
I, I, I, I talk about it in the book, but I, you know, I, I
considered taking my life cause I was so unhappy.
But on the outside it looked like I was so happy.
Actually, one of my clients said, one of the hardest things

(12:25):
I ever heard was a client say, you're the happiest person I've
ever met. And I thought, what a lie.
Like, wow, I need to live in alignment.
I want the outer reflection of me to match the inner reflection
of me. And so building mindful
awareness of just noticing how things make me feel.
And the pillars they talk about in the book, like when I was in
my 20s and I was really depressed, I looked super fit

(12:46):
because I was a personal trainer, but I ate junk food and
fast food all the time. And I didn't connect the dots
that junk makes. Eating junk makes you feel like
junk. Yeah.
And it just fuels and not prioritizing sleep and just
basic needs. Like these are basic needs that
we all have. And it's so fascinating to me
that so many people can be disconnected from what they

(13:07):
really need. And I think there's so much
power to just ask yourself the question, did that serve me?
Because that's when you can create change and stop the
downward spiral and create an upper.
And yeah, change the flow, like,yeah, the river flow stopped
like making things so hard. Why do you believe we know what
to do? We know we should drink water,

(13:27):
we should sleep. We know we should spend time
with quality people. Have community, Be a part of
something, be a part of something bigger than yourself.
Why do you think that we don't do it?
Asking for a friend. 'S mom of. 2 You know, the
daughter of a hydration, dehydration headache.
And I'm like, you haven't beat him.
Like I thought. The fuck is wrong with you,
Audrey? Like harden my crassness, but

(13:49):
I'm like, what is wrong with me?Yeah.
Why did I do that to myself? Yeah, first of all, I love
crassness. That's my favorite word.
Is my word to my child. Well, no, no, I was going to
say. That yeah, anyways.
OK, I lost my. Train OK, OK, OK I will do that.
Yelling about dehydration and why am I?
Why do we do that to ourselves? So I talk about this in the

(14:10):
book. This is a fascinating to me, the
gap between knowing and doing. Yes, this is where this is such
a struggle for for people and I really spend so much time
thinking about this. Part of it is unmindful Ness,
which is the opposite of mindfulness.
Unmindful Ness is not being aware of how what we think, what
we say and what we do makes us feel.
And when we don't have that awareness, it's easy to keep.

(14:32):
Nobody wakes up in the morning says today I want to feel
terrible. Nobody says that we all want to
feel good. We all want to feel better, yes.
But there's a disconnect where we aren't realizing that what
we're doing is affecting how we feel.
And so the switch to mindfulnessis really important.
And that's what I've been focused on and even since I
wrote the book. So I finished the, I finished

(14:52):
writing it last spring, almost ayear ago, actually more than a
year ago. And and then it was like a year
of editing. But what I've realized lately is
that once we get past that mindfulness, least there's still
there's still a barrier to taking care of ourselves.
And I really believe it's self love.
I really believe it's self love that we that we have a limit on

(15:13):
what we believe is possible for ourselves, that we don't think
we deserve to pour into ourselves.
You know, the people I work within my life and pretty much every
human I've ever met is so kind and so giving and so generous,
and they don't reflect that backto themselves equally.
And so that's the mission gone. Now is like self compassion,

(15:35):
self love. And anytime we realize, hey, I'm
super dehydrated, like, like I do it too.
I am teaching this because I need it more than anybody I feel
like. And it's a good reminder every
time I talk about it to be like,Oh yeah, I need to do this for
myself too. But yeah, we just need to
realize that when we love ourselves, we show up

(15:55):
differently, especially as parents.
Like wow when I don't care for myself I am so much less patient
and loving and kind with my child.
Hate showing up that way. I hate it.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
And so I prioritize my well-being from the lens of how
can I show up in the world as the most loving version of
myself. And when I'm not, I have grace

(16:17):
and say like, it's OK, but girl,do better tomorrow.
Spiral up. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I, I, I think that's so beautiful.
There's so much, there's so muchto that.
It's like the, in your head, youknow, the things you need to do,
but the mindfulness it feels like brings you.
That's what I was getting from your book too, is it brings you
back into your body, creates more awareness of, it's

(16:38):
connecting the two things because we, we're all very,
we're all very intelligent. We're in an information overload
age and it's amazing and it's overwhelming.
And I love to consume so much information.
I think a lot of us do. People are listening to this
podcast right now because they loved consumer information and
they're like, that's great. And maybe that's for somebody
else. That's for the person who really

(16:59):
needs it. I'm OK, I'm OK, but but it does
take self love to be like, I deserve this too.
I deserve to tap into my body tospend 5 seconds breathing, like
putting my feet on the ground, going outside, doing the thing
that I love, just having fun. Like the even the fact that you
talked about simple pleasures, even reading, that was what I
was so attracted to opening thisbook because who doesn't want

(17:21):
simple pleasure, that simple sugar?
It's like, simple. It's like, yeah.
True joy they're everywhere has and they don't take a lot of
effort and they don't generally take any money in very little
time and to inject like micro moments of joy and pleasure into
your life like that makes life so much.
Better I know it isn't that whatyou want when you look back on

(17:42):
your life when you're 95 or 98 and 102 and old care home you're
getting caught doing it by the and then talk about like that's
it yeah, that's that's it yes, that's it.
I particularly devoured I couldn't put down the neuro the
neuroscience section of your. Book Yay I.

(18:03):
Did not do well in chemistry, biology.
I always loved it, but I couldn't memorize all this stuff
and like figure out the periodictable.
So no, I was not a neuroscientist.
I got into like I was in the arts and I did marketing and all
that Amazing. But I loved it because you did
it. You just explained neuroscience
in such a such a digestible way,in a way that just made me be
like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

(18:24):
And someone who has been on antidepressants and has, there's
mental health stuff rampant, youknow, in my surrounding life,
I'm like, Oh my gosh, this just makes sense.
So for those listening who have yet to listen, read, watch.
Don't think it's a movie yet? Your book next year, did you

(18:45):
give us the Neuroscience 101? You know, particularly I was
writing down some idea. It's just the nervous system
like that is so busy right now. Yes, I think for good reason.
But could you give us like that foundation?
Like what is the nervous system?What does our brain have to do
with feeling better? Yeah, I would love to and thank
you for saying it's digestible because that was my intention
that when we like knowledge is power, knowledge is power.

(19:07):
And this vehicle we are operating, that is our body.
If we understand how to do that,then our life can be so much
better. So I think the easiest way to
describe the nervous system is that it what helps us go and
helps us stop. And so we've heard of the two
branches of the nervous system, which are the sympathetic and

(19:28):
the parasympathetic nervous system.
And the parasympathetic branch is like our break.
It helps us stop at the gas station and fill ourselves up.
And the sympathetic nervous system is our accelerator.
And so that's what we're talkingabout when we say we're in the
stress response. And so stress is not bad.
We need stress to get stuff done.

(19:49):
We need to move and engage and achieve in life.
But we can't press accelerator until we're empty.
If anyone has ever had a car anddriven it till you actually run
out of gas, bad things happen. Like, like bad things happen.
And so we want to recognize thatfeeling of where our tank is at
in our own body so we can stop to fill up before we, you know,

(20:14):
that our body literally starts to fall apart.
On fumes. Yeah, so many, so many physical
ailments are due to stress. And, you know, especially for
women who are managing households and managing jobs and
managing just the life of their family, they aren't stopping to
fill themselves up. And, you know, all humans are

(20:37):
suffering right now, but like, mothers especially are, like,
burnt out and not in a joyful place.
And so I think knowing that accelerator and brake part is
really important. And then the second piece that's
really busy right now is the vagus nerve.
What is the vagus nerve? It's actually a pair of nerves,
and it's the primary pathway of the parasympathetic nervous

(20:58):
system. It is our break, and it comes
out of the base of our skull andruns all the way down to our
pelvic floor. And so it innervates our eyes,
our mouth, our throat, our heart, our lungs, our gut, and
our pelvic floor. The cool thing about the vagus
nerve is that it's 80% afferent.So most of the communication is

(21:19):
our body talking to our brain. So efferent means brain to body
and afferent means body to brain.
And so our vagus nerve allows our body to talk to our brain
and get us out of sympathetic and into parasympathetic through
inner like using the parts of your body that that nerve

(21:39):
innervates. So when you genuinely smile at
someone, that's telling your brain I'm safe, I'm connected.
That's the parasympathetic nervous system is safety and
connection when you use your voice.
So when we hum or sing or chant,we change the tone of our voice.
When we're really stressed, our voice rises.
When we're in our power, our voice is lower.

(22:01):
That's that vibration is tellingour vagus nerve to tell our
brain we are safe and connected.Yeah.
When we exercise and use our heart and lungs, we are
communicating safety to our brain.
Then we eat good food, you know our guts called our second
brain. That's a hugely important and
one of the like part of the reason my my my business is

(22:23):
called the life Delicious is that delicious, simple foods can
change the way we feel. And lastly, orgasm tells our
brain we are safe and connected.And so I think especially for
parents, my next book is going to be about sex, love and
relationships. And I think that all parents
should be orgasming often because life is so much better

(22:44):
than. Yeah, it just makes sense.
Yeah. Oh my gosh, Oh, you're so good
at it. Like every listen to this one
section over and over because I read it and I've now heard it
and I need to hear it again because there's so much in there
like and I love the visuals. I'm very visual, but like the
the pair of near like the Vegas rooms, a pair of nerves and the

(23:04):
parasympathetic sympathetic likeand that is so insanely cool
about the body telling our brainyou're safe like that is so.
Isn't it? There's so much power so we can
think it. We can use our mind to tell our
brain, yeah, I can see that I'm safe.
I can hear that, like, OK, I'm safe.
But if that isn't working, you can use your body.
You can go for a walk. You Can Dance.

(23:26):
You can get your heart rate up. You can sing.
You can hum. You can chant.
Yes, you can. There's so much you can.
Do when I did my yoga teacher training, when I left
advertising and I was like, whatam I going to do?
I'm going to do my MBA and then I did my yoga teacher training.
Never actually worked in the studio.
Like, you know, that'll story. And it was.
Amazing. And I remember hearing, um, it

(23:46):
was really cool. They were just talking about the
different, different people. Like you have to meet someone
with where they're at. And you might have people who
come into your studio and you'reencouraging them to go in
Shavasana and you're saying close your eyes, but they really
were talking about like close your eyes if you're comfortable.
And for, if you have a group of people, say postpartum moms who
maybe are suffering with anxiety, depression, that is not

(24:07):
a room of people that you want to have sitting quietly with
their thoughts. Potentially maybe for some it
works. But but now that you're saying
that, I'm like, Oh my gosh, thisis all clicking.
It makes so much sense that movement and humming or singing,
dancing, like being in communityconnection, mothers groups are
so important in that situation versus being alone with your
dark, you know, I've been there,you know, being alone with dark

(24:29):
thoughts. Yeah, the fear and and it
doesn't work. And you're like, well, great.
I can't think my way out of this.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Move your way out. Of it, yeah, move up that
spiral. Yeah, that's so.
That's so incredible. The Vegas.
OK what's the dryer falls? Can you drink cold water?
And it stimulates the vagus nerve.
What's that thing I maybe saw in?
Tiki did so much research on this when I was writing my book

(24:54):
on, on how cold water affects the Vegas nerve.
So yes, it does. And it.
And you said swallowing water. Yeah.
Like gargling water or immersingin water or splashing your face
with water. And from my understanding, it's
kind of like how exercise is sometimes called a stress
inoculation, you know, or like alike a vaccine, you get a little

(25:17):
bit of something and then your body learns to fight it.
And so exercising is a stress, but it's controlled.
I'm choosing to move my body andthen I can choose to recover.
And I think that's similar with cold immersion, that it's
learning to regulate your nervous system in a stressful
situation that you are controlling.

(25:38):
You are controlling putting yourbody in.
And while you're in, it's like, and then you have to learn, OK,
I'm going to breathe deeply. And then you remove yourself
from it and you're like, OK, I'msafe.
And then that's you kind of training your nervous system to
deal with stress, to move, move in and out of sympathetic and
parasympathetic, accelerating and then breaking, choosing to
break. We need to all choose to break.

(25:58):
And I call that the pause. So you're in driving school,
you're testing out the emergencybrake.
You're doing that thing in the parking lot where they're like,
hit the break and you're like, is the car gonna flip?
And you slam your test? You're playing with it in a
controlled setting. Yeah, exactly.
How do you grade it? About you.
OK, now that we're on this topic, so buzzy cold plunging
for women. What are you like?

(26:18):
What are your feelings? I love this.
Question. So here's what I think.
I think it doesn't matter what any expert says.
We are the best experts for ourselves, and only we know what
works for us. Yeah.
So is cold plunging for you? Do you feel great after it?
It's for you. Do you feel like shit after?

(26:40):
It is not for you. I was just speaking to a woman
yesterday who said, you know, like, I was trying to be cool
and I did the cold plunge. And she was like, I felt
terrible the entire day afterwards.
And everybody else was like, don't you feel amazing?
She was like, no, it's not for her.
So part of it is looking at yourstress load.
If you have a really high stressload, these pillars I talk

(27:00):
about, you know, you have high nutritional stress because
you're eating terribly. You have high electromagnetic
stress because you're just around screens and unnatural
light all the time. You have high relational stretch
stress. Your relationships are causing
stress for you. You have spiritual stress.
You're maybe in the wrong job oryou're not in alignment inside
with what is on the outside. If you have really high stress

(27:22):
that you, you don't need to add additional stress, which is cold
plunging, which is high intense exercise, which is all these
buzzy things. If your stress load is too high,
you don't have the capacity to add additional stress.
And so I've noticed from I love cold plunging, but I notice for
myself during times of high stress, I can't do it.
It doesn't feel good. And so listen to your own body,

(27:47):
tune into your intuition. This is what mindfulness is.
It's building like a Direct Lineto your intuition so that you
know for yourself, is this good for me or not?
Just ask yourself that question,close your eyes, be still.
Do I like this? It's OK not to like what's cool.
I think this is the most important thing that's ever been
said on my podcast. I I think that if this, OK, call

(28:09):
me dramatic, if this was sent toeverybody in the world and they
just had a second to be like, huh, yeah, right.
If I just do, if I like tap in and ask myself, does this feel
good? Does this work for me?
Does this work for my family? Is this like serving me?
Yeah. Could we not change the world?
Absolutely. Like I really, but like I know

(28:29):
it's just like big and far fetched, but I believe like this
could change the world. This knowledge of honoring
ourselves, loving ourselves, being in tune with what our
intuition is telling us. Like the world would be a
totally different place and nobody would.
Everybody would just be high fiving and frolicking and like
orgasming. Orgasming honestly.

(28:52):
Like it's literally the solutionto World Peace.
And why, like we're in such a like talking about information
gathering and like this knowledge is information age.
It's so cool. I mean, I'm sure as
neuroscientists, you're like, you just geek out on all the
incredible studies and the things that are happening
because of that. However, I find that I've, you
know, really been hearing this, this narrative too around like,
are we gathering too much information?

(29:12):
Are we not thinking for ourselves anymore?
We're not thinking critically about where we're at, how we're
feeling. We're not we're disconnecting
from the intuition. We're raising kids and we're
like, I can't make this decision.
I need to go now to chat LGBT, which is great, you know, for
the fevers and what what was thefever danger point again?
Yeah, there's a place. But it's like also, I've had my

(29:34):
kids have had fevers that are really high and I'm like, but
they're OK. You're actually you're fine.
And I've had those moments whereI'm like, no, I'm going to step
into my own intuition and power in this moment.
And I'm like, I know you're OK. And that's not me being like, I
will call the ambulance that I need to.
I am no problem. I've called ambulances before
and it's like, but you know, youjust, if you man, if you just

(29:55):
like, if we just tap into our knowing a little bit more.
And I work with all of my work is career coaching for parents.
And yeah, you know, the people who are like, but it does this
make sense? If I make a move, who cares?
You don't. You're miserable.
This is affecting every part of your life.
It doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
This is like, you hate this. Yeah, we gotta make a move and

(30:15):
some way. Yes, joy is a metric.
I think joy is the metric. Maybe love, but joy is part of
love. Oh my.
Gosh and OK, so Speaking of thisand how this is just so life
changing and can change the world, why?
Why now? Why are you writing this now?
Why is it important now? It had been a dream for a really

(30:36):
long time, probably like at least 10 years.
And I kept saying I want to do it, I want to do it, I want to
do it. And I didn't do it.
And how often, you know, listeners, do we not take the
steps to to reach our big, hairyaudacious goals?
You know, why aren't we doing that?

(30:57):
And so a dear, dear friend of mine started a publishing
company and I saw that she was doing a retreat for would be
writers in LA and it was very expensive and very all in.
And I knew if I didn't do that, I never would.
And so it was, it was actually called the Big leap.

(31:18):
And so I took the big leap and Iforked over a whole lot of cash
and me and two other would be writers sat in a beautiful space
with three editors for a week. And we each got a wall and a
million post it notes. And we wrote everything we knew
that we thought could be valuable.
And we put it on the wall and wejust spent the week rearranging

(31:40):
the post it notes until we had abook outline.
And I left that experience with the document you need to find a
publisher. And so I I'm so glad I did that.
It was, it was worth every penny, every minute, because
otherwise I would still be saying I want to write a.
Book and isn't there so much, what's the word like discomfort

(32:01):
or this dissonance that's created when you've got that
thing that you want, that thing that's like your goal or where
you want to be or what you want to do versus where you are.
Talk about this all the time. Like that cultural tension of
like, I'm here, I want to be here.
And this rubber band feels real.It's starting to like Fray.
Yeah. Where you almost at that point
or did you kind of get ahead of it a little bit and you're like,
OK, I don't want to get to that point.

(32:22):
I've been at that point with. Other.
Yeah, I don't know. That's a great question.
I, I don't know, I just wanted it bad.
I really wanted to to birth thisbook.
I really wanted this knowledge to be out in the world.
You know, it, it came after thisdecision, like after the
pandemic, where all of these really hard things were

(32:43):
happening in the world where so many people were hating each
other. And I just felt like like love
was the answer. And I was just like, I have to
get this out now to help suffering.
So. I love it, but you know, I also
love to. Is that this Speaking of this
book is about love and self love.
And you come at it kind of from both sides where you're not

(33:05):
like, let's just only talk aboutlove.
And you're you're talking about the neuroscience and then you're
talking about super practical, very tangible, like this is a
curriculum. Yeah.
But it's done in a way. It's like, let me tell you a
story about me. Let me tell you about a story
about a client. And here are some examples of
what this looks like in real life versus staying a little too
up here, like a satiric, which is there's a place for that.

(33:27):
Yeah. But I feel like as a mom of
these two young kids, this is kind of what I needed now to
just digest. And you have reflection
questions and it's like, great. I, you know, a couple of the
chapters, I didn't write it down, but I just sat there and
thought about the answer is amazing.
You know, felt. And I was like, oh, cool.
And it's just, yeah, it's. It's incredible.
So Speaking of the curriculum, OK, the flexible framework.

(33:50):
And then I want to get into the rituals.
I want listeners to just take away the stuff, but then they're
going to obviously have to go buy the book and read it or get
it from the library. The flexible framework saw that
as I think it was in the beginning.
You're like, here's the structure.
Or maybe I was looking at the index or whatever, the chapter
names and I was like, Oh my God,I love this.
Already speaking my language, girl.

(34:11):
So the flexible framework, what is that?
And did you come up with that before becoming a parent or
after? Oh my goodness, I don't know.
I have to go back and look. Because it feels very like mom.
Who knows? I think it wasn't before, I
don't know, definitely after it,we'll just go with that.
But yeah, you know what, it might have been before because,

(34:33):
yeah, I think it, it was becauseI noticed this black and white
thinking and it was kind of likethe, the gap between knowing and
doing. You know, I, I would have
clients who would say I want to train for a marathon and they
would, you know, be training hours a day.
And their goal would be like, you know, hours a day, seven
days a week. And then they would be like, I
only did four days a week. I'm like, that's amazing.

(34:55):
And so then they would quit or they would feel terrible about
themselves. And I'm like, that's, but not
like it's, it's a spectrum. Yes, every second of self-care
camps, every second. It doesn't have to be.
And so I think especially now asa parent to, you know, you read
the research and it says it has to be 20 minutes of meditation
or it has to be 30 minutes of physical activity.
And it's like, well, what if it's 19?

(35:17):
Does that not count if it's 17? They didn't research that, Yeah,
that's why, yeah. And so I think we do a
disservice to people when we give hard lines like that when
it is black and white. And I think that if we embrace
the Gray and lower our standardsto the smallest iteration of
what would serve us and shift usinto a place of loving ourselves

(35:41):
and others, we would be able to be consistent because nobody
cannot do a minute of something every day for themselves.
No one. And when you lower your your
standards, you know, I know thateveryone listening is is a high
achiever and that's lowering their standards would still be

(36:02):
most excellent. So I'm not saying, you know,
show up in the world every way, but like just give yourself some
grace and allow yourself the flexibility to just do a little
bit And like, it makes such a difference.
I have been when I worked in a gym full time, I, I didn't, I
would go sometimes months without exercising, which is

(36:24):
like just insane. Just like it's crazy for me to
say that. And like that was true.
That's that's true. And now I'm consistent every
single day, every single day because I can't not be
successful because my standards are so low.
And something you said earlier made me think about this concept
of self trust. Now I trust myself to care for

(36:45):
myself. And that really matters.
The belief we have in ourselves that we will care for ourselves,
You know that we can give ourselves up.
We can reparent ourselves if we didn't receive the kind of love
and care we had as children and now as adults.
To know we always have someone to love and care and cheerlead
for us. And that is ourselves.

(37:05):
And if we can really show up forourselves, then we can do
anything. We can get through anything hard
because we always have ourselves, you know, community
is really important too. But like the first person that
you need to show up for is yourself.
And to model this to our children, not to say it to model
it like what I'm learning this, you know, I'm, I just turned 46
a couple days ago. Like for my daughter to I can I

(37:28):
hear her talking? I'm like, oh, it's thinking in
she's 7, you know, to learn thatas a child.
Wow, wow. And what would you how do we do
it? Like what are some small
examples of parenting with this?Like, Oh my gosh, all of it, the
mindfulness and the connection and love for yourself and, and

(37:48):
saying nice things to yourself as well as others.
You know, we talked about like, oh, say please say thank you.
But like, I haven't said anything to my kids about, you
know, my daughter is like, gets frustrated.
She's doing some sort of sport or whatever.
Like, oh, I can't. And I'm like, it's OK.
You know, I kind of brush it offinstead of being like, hey,
talk, you know, I don't know what to say.
So yeah. How do we model this?
How do we? Do we just speak kindly to
ourselves? You.

(38:09):
Know, like, like I, yeah, see, this is this is what I say in
the book. And like, I think it's the first
page. This is boring.
I'm not going to tell you anything.
You don't know. I loved that.
Like, yeah, you know this. I'm gonna help you do it.
Yes. That's what's going to change
your life. And so, you know, I'll say to my
my daughter the other day, she did something really hard and

(38:30):
she said, I'm really proud of myself.
Oh, and I've said that about myself.
And I was like, oh, my gosh. She used those words to apply to
something she didn't. She felt proud.
But she saw me say that about myself.
Or, you know, if something happens, I'll be like, well,

(38:50):
that's OK. And I can try harder.
And, oh, it's, it's the experience.
And I and I talk about savoring,actually, sometimes if we're
late for school, like we have a big family breakfast every day.
And, you know, if I'm like, hey,you know, gotta hurry up.
She was like, I'm savoring my breakfast.
I'm like, well, I can't argue with that.
Yeah. Whatever, knock the late, I
don't care. Yeah, we're safer.
Yeah, totally. And so it's using and it's how

(39:13):
you talk about it. Yeah.
You know, that that, oh, I'm putting this good food in my
body. Like she had a friend come over
and they didn't eat their broccoli.
And after her friend left, she'slike, what's with that girl?
She didn't eat her broccoli. Broccoli is so good for you.
And like, you know what it's like, how can we, how can we
love ours? Like, this is the thing, you
know, if you're having, if you're listening to this and

(39:34):
you're having trouble taking care of yourself and you need
extra motivation, like think about who's watching you.
And it's not what you say, it's what you do. 1000% it is so
scary. The two in the four year old.
I'm like, the modeling that you see at that age already is
unbelievable. It's the coolest experience in

(39:54):
my life to see. Yeah, that the effect that you
have on others in such a direct,I mean, everybody.
But like those little humans that are just looking up and
they're just watching every. Oh, my gosh, they're little
parrots, too. Sometimes you're like, whoops.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
And so. Yeah, I love that.
Like, I really love that. I think we talked about it a lot
in terms of being mindful with food.

(40:16):
And like, I have three sisters and my mom did an incredible job
about having us all feel safe and experienced food in a
beautiful way. And I think a lot of us are
really like, OK, you gotta be careful not to have like diet
talk around our kids. And that I don't hear anybody
talk about what we what you werejust talking about how, you
know, we want to talk about ourselves in a kind way.

(40:36):
We want to just like verbalize or just narrate some of our
experiences. Like, oh, that was a hard day.
And just sharing that, like things can be hard.
But and you know what, I learneda lot from that.
Or when you're sitting at the dinner table, like, how's your
day? And you're kind of having a
sidebar with your husband, a partner, and instead of just,
you know, talking to trash like,oh, I did this, I messed up.
OK, that's fine. But how do you come back around

(40:57):
and like, what was the. Yeah, take away or even, I mean,
we, we live with a lot of like silliness in our house too.
Silliness is it? It's it's I'm just like, Oh my
God, I spilled my I'm always talking about spilling coffee,
spilled coffee all over my house.
My husband doesn't drink coffee.He's like this with you.
And it's just like, and we laughabout it and I'm like, oh, wow.
Like, and I looked like my daughter adding him like that.
Better luck next time. She's like, yeah, you can try

(41:19):
harder or like you can like do better next time.
It's just, yeah, I just love this.
OK, Now the rituals. Yeah.
So there's the flexible framework, every parents dream,
flexibility, freedom. And then there's the rituals.
Move your body, nourish your body, rest your body and connect

(41:41):
with other bodies level. Yeah, I love that.
How do we incorporate? Is this a big long To Do List
that we're adding? It's super short, as you may
have hoped from the conversationthat had time yes and I like to
wear the I like to use the word movement instead of exercise.
Everybody can move their body and everyone could find a way

(42:02):
that feels good to know their body.
I like to use the word nourish because it makes you focus on
what can I put in that's good. Don't use the word diet.
I like rest because it's not just sleep.
It's throughout the day. Are you just running yourself
ragged? Are you showing up at everything
just like wiped or are you putting in micro moments of

(42:23):
pause and refill? Are you stopping at the gas
station to fill yourself up? And then connecting with other
bodies is kind of twofold. It's connecting with other
humans, but it's also connectingwith land and the environment
and bodies of water and you know, the the elements of Earth.
We are animals. We are a part of this earth and

(42:44):
and there's so much stress reduction and joy that comes
from spending time in nature andthe and we become so
disconnected from that. You know, I used to live in in
downtown Toronto and you can actually go from your home down
and, you know, your condo down underground and you can like not
see sunlight for days and days and days in the winter, which is

(43:06):
bananas. Yes, yes, bananas.
So, yeah, those are those are the rituals.
And I love that word because theritual is a habit that you've
elevated to importance, like OHK.
So it's not like, huh, you know,I'm gonna try and move my body.
It's like, no, this is a ritual.This is this is elevated.

(43:28):
This is important. You have to move your body, but
you can do it any way that feelsgood to your body.
And do you see those all it's kind of a menu like I, I just
really get from your book. I get from you everything that
you're about. It just feels like it's like
what's on the menu today and nothaving the same friggin salad
every single day, especially as women.
We're cyclical humans. Yes, we have different needs and

(43:49):
and everybody the seasons changeand it just feels like there can
be a menu. I loved what you said about
like, yeah, you don't have to gofor the cold plunge.
It doesn't feel right for you. Pick from another menu of
self-care. Thing, yeah.
When you're ovulating, cold plunge away.
When you're premenstrual, don't do it unless you feel like it,
then do it. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
I actually sidebar went into a cold plunge things a couple
weeks ago and it was in a time where it wasn't, it wasn't like

(44:11):
I was feeling negative stress. There was just a lot happening,
a lot of excitement. I'm a very excitable person.
I get into this cold punch and immediately it was like someone
was squeezing my neck tendons and I was like, it does not feel
good. And so like popped out and I was
like, interesting, you know? Yeah.
Not, not for me on the menu today.
No. So how do you how do you choose

(44:31):
what's, I guess you're saying tuition?
I am going to say you're. Going to say it tell me more
though. So I like to have a scheduled
yet flexible plan. And so for instance, my movement
plan is that I strength train Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
And I do I'm a triathlete. So I do like swim, bike, run
Tuesday, Thursday weekend. And then we always do a hike.

(44:51):
We usually both days of the weekend and then I work in
mobility and yoga in between there.
But so say I have a day that I'mplanning to do high intensity
interval training and I'm tired,I'll switch to yoga.
So it's scheduled yet flexible. And I also have a plan ABC and
D. So plan A is that I work out
every morning at 5:30 AM becausethat's when I wake up naturally

(45:14):
and never set an alarm because sleep Trump's everything.
And then I have an hour to myself before my family wakes
up, which is lovely. But if I miss that, then I'll
workout before lunch. And if I miss that, I'll workout
before dinner. And if I miss that, I'll do some
gentle movement before bed. So I always have a plan ABC and
D, and that can expand or contract.
So plan ABC or D can be 5 minutes or 55 minutes or

(45:39):
whatever amount of time. So anytime of the day for any
length of time, that's when I will move my body.
And if you get to D, how do you rewire the conversation in your
head that might skew? Ooh ooh.
You're on Plan B, you're on planD here like and not have that
negative self talk. Oh, we're so cracked.

(46:00):
I'm so practicing. It's just practice.
It's literally rewiring your brain.
So if I get to Plan D, I'm like,wow, I'm on Plan D.
That must have been a really hard day.
Good girl, you did it. Like, yes, we squeezed it in
there. You did 1 cat cow.
Yeah, yeah, you go girl. Exactly.
Yeah. 1 cat cow. Yes.
Literally counts. Cause then I feel like, OK, I

(46:20):
cared for myself on the best wayI could today.
Yeah, today was a gong show, butI did it, and tomorrow's going
to be a new day. Oh, I love that.
OK, for busy parents, Nourishment.
What are the best ways that we can nourish?
I love that word so much. Like eating.
I love to eat but nourish. So sexy it's like.

(46:42):
Yeah. How?
How do we do it? Yeah, planning.
Oh yeah, menu planning, menu planning, menu planning, menu
planning. Every Sunday I make a menu plan
and it can be very rough. There can be like there will be
vegetables, there will be protein.
And I, I love to, we're so luckywhere we live here in the Lower

(47:03):
Mainland. I love to get the little PDF
that the local farmers market has of what's in season and, and
not like biodiversity counts in your gut and on your plate.
And so I just try and order as many colourful different things
as I can and do a lot of like chop salad and stir fries, that
kind of thing. And then add a protein to it.

(47:24):
You know, whether you eat plant based or animal based, cover
your bases there. And I cook everything in
quadruplicate. Everything.
What we have for dinner is what we're having for lunch the next
day. What dinner the that night and
lunch the following day. I like it takes time to chop
things and cook and clean and doit all.
I make everything in quadruplicate.

(47:45):
Yeah. So.
Four. I thought you were talking just
like for four people. No, you're talking 4 meals.
Yeah, it's going to be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything is good because I usegood ingredients.
It's it's not fancy food. And I started a hashtag on I
don't know how much I love it, but on Instagram called Fugly
Food because I don't do presentation.
My food is delicious, nutritious.

(48:07):
I don't have time to like make it look pretty.
I just slap it on the plates andthere.
We go, that's a different moment.
That's like a fun creative moment.
That's not like an everyday. That's not my creative outlet.
Yes, Yeah. I've used up all my energy
making the food. I will not make it look pretty.
But so that's just me. If you, if that gives you joy to
make it look pretty, you go. Go four.

(48:27):
Yeah, go take that photo. But I think it's yeah, just just
eating in. Season it as much as you can,
real food planning it out. Order.
So I order groceries on Sunday from my menu that I've made.
It shows up on Monday and then Itake a little bit of time to
wash and prep everything so it'sready for the week.

(48:47):
And then I've got the menu on the wall.
And then I know at the end of the day when I'm tired, if I
haven't done this, I will order pizza 100% of the time because
that's just the way offering. And so I know I have to plan
because I'm just too tired to think of it.
It's like the mental load is real, real, real, real, real.
So I get that out of the way on on Sundays.

(49:09):
And then I just know what I'm going to make.
And then we eat it four times ina row and repeat, repeat,
repeat. What's your favorite go to?
Oh my goodness, right now I'm I'm mostly grew up in Alberta.
I love a steak dinner. Oh yeah, yes, I'm so happy you
said that. Ohhhhh.
Yeah, you know, a good, a good steak from a cow that had a good

(49:30):
life at a good farm. Yeah, that's that's my jam.
Yes, yeah, so good. It's.
Just tons of vegetables. Big, big, massive rainbow.
Vegetables. That is such a good hack about
the PDF from the farmers market.Yeah, I know exactly the one
you're talking. About.
OK, good. And I'm like, oh.
And anyone could Google that, nomatter where you're listening
from. Yes, Yeah.
That is so cool, I love it. What do you hope people take

(49:51):
away from Feel Better Now? I hope in addition to everything
we talked about today, well, I think just to simplify it, if
that's like, wow, that's a lot. Just to simplify, simplify,
simplify. I hope that people understand
the power they have to just stopwhatever they're doing and ask,
what do I need right now? What do I need right now to feel

(50:12):
better? You will have the answers.
We all have incredible wisdom and intuition inside and it's
just taking the time to listen and then follow that good advice
that you just gave yourself. You will always get the right
answers and you ask good questions and what do we need
right now? Is a good question, that is.
Such a good question, so many good questions, so much good,

(50:32):
amazing wisdom. I ask everybody, I've still have
a million more questions. I'm upset, but I'm going to.
We're going to have to have you back on it.
I would love that. What are you still trying to
figure out right now, Catherine?Oh, everything.
I think. I just, I hope I made that
clear. I'm just a messy human trying to
figure things out, like parenting's hard, life's hard,
relationships are hard. My husband and I have been

(50:53):
together 27 years and we're still here.
I'm just uncovering more about him every day.
It's all, yeah, I'm trying to figure everything out, but I'm
intentional in that goal every day to try and figure things
out. And just enjoy the process.
And enjoy the enjoy the process.Life is so precious.

(51:13):
And I hope I get to live to 102 and get busted making out with
my husband. But if I don't, you know, I want
to at any moment. Whenever I do go, I want to say
like, that was a good life. Yeah, yeah.
I love that. Thank you so much.
Thank you for writing this book.Thank you so much for coming and
sticking with me and sharing your story and your God, your
wisdom. It's you're like this.

(51:34):
I don't know you're. Effervescent.
Thank you. I love this conversation.
I feel like we could have had like a 24 hour conversation.
I was like this. Let's chat more.
Yeah, please, please. Please thank.
You. Thank you.

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