Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
welcome to all my
friends are cooler than me i'm
wes
SPEAKER_00 (00:05):
and i'm dr laura
enjoy today's episode
SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
and learn how to be
just a little bit cooler so now
we're officially recording i dohave to ask you to put your
pants back on alex got me allright i got you up on the big
screen welcome to the showeverybody i'm here with my good
buddy alex and there are So manyamazing things that I can say
(00:30):
about this guy.
We've known each other for acouple of years now, and he's
honestly one of the mostimpressive human beings I have
ever met.
There are a thousand things thatI could go on about, but if I
had to boil them down to just ahandful of bullet points,
incredible human being, amazingvolunteer, community builder,
community engager, never-endingentrepreneur.
(00:51):
He's got things like Three BuckWater.
He's got things like Badger,Operation Gamify, sponsor of the
show.
Thank you again, by the way.
The man's got a degree inphysics.
He's a former Marine sniper andjujitsu badass and does live
promotion events for that.
When it comes time to integratewith the community down there in
Miami, he does all kinds ofthings.
The Top Gun Olympics thateverybody loves.
(01:11):
He's got the Top Gun tryoutscoming up here.
Integrations with the YMCA.
I mean, the list just kind ofgoes on and on.
Like, he helps out with museums.
He helps out with stuff at thebeach.
Like, the man is absolutelyincredible.
He single-handedly brought theVFW back to life.
I am left speechless and I'mnever left speechless.
So with no further ado, let meturn it over to my good friend,
(01:32):
Alex.
SPEAKER_03 (01:34):
Hey Wes, thank you
for having me on the first show
ever, okay?
I don't know if I can be coolerthan you, but I definitely got
shot at more than you.
So if that has anything to dowith it, then hey, I turned
chaos into purpose, all right?
So thank you again for having meon the show.
(01:55):
Thank you for coming on.
So where
SPEAKER_01 (01:58):
are you at
SPEAKER_03 (01:59):
right
SPEAKER_01 (01:59):
now?
SPEAKER_03 (02:00):
Right now, I'm
sitting in the nice, sunny Miami
Beach, South Beach, Florida,enjoying the weather.
So
SPEAKER_01 (02:10):
just out of
curiosity here, when do I get to
come back to Miami and hang outwith you again?
in that nice, sunny, warm beachweather.
SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
Whenever you buy the
plane ticket, man, we want you
back.
I got a bedroom here from youand Dr.
Laura.
SPEAKER_00 (02:29):
Yeah, don't leave me
out of these plans.
I would never.
SPEAKER_01 (02:31):
Alex and I would
never go off on a pro adventure.
Never.
And cause mayhem.
SPEAKER_03 (02:37):
Yeah, and who's
joining us?
Who's the cute, cuddly
SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
guy?
Oh, and Ollie as well.
He's our trusty sidekick.
UNKNOWN (02:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
Hey, he needs to
come too.
So him and Luna can hang out.
SPEAKER_01 (02:51):
One of the first
nights I ever met Alex and hung
out with him, the next morning Igot in a ton of trouble.
Because Alex and I came acrossthe golf cart that we proceeded
to take down some pier.
And then we wound up in a Greekwedding shooting fireworks.
SPEAKER_03 (03:14):
You're in full
uniform.
Fleet Week didn't kick off yet.
SPEAKER_01 (03:18):
Yeah, it was a good
time.
It was a good time.
Listen, man, I talked a bunchalready.
I told you all of these reasonsthat I honestly, into the core
of my being, believe that youare one of the coolest human
beings that's ever walked theface of the earth.
Please tell me you got a storyfor us that backs me up so I
(03:39):
don't look like a crazy person.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:42):
Yeah, I mean,
there's a whole bunch of stories
that we could talk about.
But I guess to start off, I'dlike to talk about the warrior
mindset and combining that withmy physics journey.
And so me being cooler than Wes,I mean, I don't know about that.
(04:03):
Wes, you are a man to remember.
One of the best quotes that Iknow is you always want to be
somebody that even if you meetonce, then they'll remember you
for the rest of your life.
That's kind of the same modelthat I like to bring in with all
of my business ventures, withall of my events.
I want people that attend them,that experience them, to have a
(04:24):
memory that they're going tohave and cherish for the rest of
their life that they could talkto their kids about And every
time I hang out with you, Wes,there's always a memory that I
always tell my wife, my kids,everybody that I know, and
everybody else that experiencesit too.
Like the last time you came tovisit at the Wolfsonian,
everybody there still talksabout you.
(04:45):
So thank you again, Wes, forhaving me on.
SPEAKER_01 (04:51):
I'm literally just
cool by association with you.
So like, sure.
SPEAKER_03 (04:56):
So I...
yeah so i joined the marines at19.
um first in i was a machinegunner deployed on the 31st mew
to asia pacific region traveledaround i was a heavy traveler
before and after the marinestraveling's in my soul i'm
canadian citizen of the worldgot my papers through the
(05:18):
military actually had to get mycitizenship through uh to get to
sniper school um And so that'swhat I did to make it happen,
follow my dreams.
When I first joined, I couldn'treally do special operations or
the direct route for Navy SEALsor the 18X route with Army
(05:38):
because I was Canadian.
So the only skillset that Icould do that really, uh, was in
the interest of what, of, of whyI wanted to join was, was
snipers was scout snipers.
And even then I didn't reallyknow there wasn't really a
pipeline and I had to just waitfor it for that opportunity.
And when I saw it, I seized themoment, um, that was on the
(06:00):
mule.
There was a little call rollcall, um, at the end of the day
on ship and said, Hey, stateplatoon is looking for is having
an in doc.
Um, and so would you want tojoin?
i actually joined that in doc inoki and it was hell it was crazy
it was uh totally a mind mindsetyou know mind can we swear on
(06:23):
here yeah you can go for it brodefinitely a mind and so the
land nav portion they changedthe the exact points to not the
right points so nobody got theright points everybody had zero
points and so here i am runningaround for two days in the
jungle thinking i totally failedi'm a complete loser um and then
(06:47):
actually three of my uh or twoof my buddies from like a
company wanted to leave that indoc interestingly enough i
wanted to go if we left theindoc right and then there we
could do a joint training withthe japanese military And so,
because I had zero points, Iended up quitting.
(07:08):
I quit that in doc with mybuddies and I went to Japan to
the Japanese training, jointtraining with them, had a great
time, got to see the land, gotto see the culture.
And when I got back, Thankfully,there was another stay in dock
and this time I wasn't going toquit.
And sure enough, I beasted that.
I got most of the most points inthe land of on that time.
(07:31):
I was the first one thatfinished the ruck that was like
the slave fest, you know, toweed out most of the people.
And then since then, I made itin.
I was a pig and waited for mytime to become a hog, hunter of
gunmen, completing scout sniperschool.
SPEAKER_01 (07:48):
I mean, with that,
do you mind if I ask you about
something?
Because you accomplished a lotin that, not just like the
military arena, but all thesearenas.
And starting out as a Canadiancitizen, you now have a holiday
in America named after you.
SPEAKER_03 (08:09):
May 22nd, Alex
Kruger to bro today, Miami
Beach.
SPEAKER_01 (08:13):
Which is the day the
show is releasing.
SPEAKER_03 (08:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
I couldn't resist
the urge to throw some more
praise at you, brother.
SPEAKER_03 (08:21):
Thank you, man.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, that was a surprise.
I mean, it culminated from theTop Gun Olympics event for Fleet
Week Miami, and it was reallythe epitome of blending the
military with the communitythrough athletic competition.
Throughout my life, I kind ofrealized that you really find
(08:44):
your purpose through testingyourself, seeing how you rank
compared to other people,finding brothers through shared
misery or combat.
And so that stemmed from themilitary, that stemmed from
athletic competitions, andreally looking back, it really
(09:04):
stemmed from, I think I was likeeight or nine in school.
And it was the first time we didlike a mass class fitness, what
you call, competition.
And so it was pull-ups, it waspush-ups, it was sit-ups.
And I did one pull-up, okay?
I did one pull-up and the bestkid in my class did 11.
(09:26):
And that really set me, I think,on this journey of this mindset
of finding purpose through howyou rank compared to everybody
else.
And so I never wanted to haveone pull up ever again after
that.
That gave me fuel to trainharder.
And so maybe some people mightbe scared away from that.
(09:47):
Oh, I did one pull up.
I'm not good enough or whatever.
For me, that was an invitationto train harder.
And so that kind of defined therest of my life through the
military, through events,through my social app.
which is built aroundcompetition to inspire purpose.
(10:09):
And so that kind of led andculminated to Top Gun Olympics.
Top Gun Olympics, we found outwho the championship team was.
We found out who the bestindividual competitors were.
And so that all was builtthrough that initial mindset of
when I was eight or nine yearsold, doing this athletic
competition with my school.
UNKNOWN (10:31):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (10:34):
So from there.
Well,
SPEAKER_01 (10:37):
I was going to give
Dr.
Laura an opportunity to ask,because there is a question that
kind of comes along with that,that we had talked about a
little bit before the show.
So if you don't mind me asking,where did that drive for
competition come from?
Because that seems to be kind ofa core tenet for you.
SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Yeah, I mean,
seeing, I mean, really the
competition is, drives purpose.
And transitioning from themilitary to civilian life was
really rough for me.
Leaving your brothers, leaving amission-oriented environment,
you're left with nothing.
But what I realized after yearsof just fighting at the bar,
(11:16):
seeing my buddies struggling,that really started seeing how
my buddies transitioned as well,along with me.
And I really started analyzingwhat's going wrong here.
What are the factors that kindof lead to this mindset that
drives you down into a spiral torock bottom, right?
(11:41):
And so I realized at the time Iwas training jujitsu, I had
something that I could lookforward to every day, that joy,
getting on the mats, findingbrotherhood through competition,
but it wasn't enough.
It was good for a temporarybandaid, but it wasn't until I
started competing in jujitsu,win tournaments, and finding
(12:07):
that inspiration to train for agoal, for a purpose.
I noticed when I didn't performwell, it stuck with me all day
long.
My first tournament, I gotarmbarred within the first
minute, right in front of myex-girlfriend.
probably why she's the nextgirlfriend right now.
(12:28):
And so that was with the firstminute and that was
embarrassing, but sure enough, Inever wanted to get armbarred
ever again.
And so since then I never did.
And really, I think that wasreally the birth of that whole
mindset and direction of how Iwanted to pursue the rest of my
(12:48):
life.
I saw the power of that andeverybody else does too.
And so when you see how you rankto other people, it really puts
you in reality where you stand.
And so you can either run fromit or you can run towards it.
My first day training jujitsu, Igot tapped out 18 times.
(13:09):
And I see some people that Ibrought to the gym, either they
get tapped out like crazy, noproblem as well.
But either they run from it andthey don't wanna do it anymore
or they're hooked.
because they see the benefits oflearning this combat system.
(13:30):
And really that competitionkeeps you driving forward with a
clear direction.
I noticed when I was drinking orsmoking, it would hinder my
progress.
And so everything has to havesome type of growth, some type
of direction.
Training with my brothers, theother fellow competitors that
(13:51):
were like world champions, Iknew I was training with the
elite.
I knew what I had to do to getbetter.
And so that kind of put me onthe right path that totally
changed my life.
And I'm happy to say that itchanged other people and my
buddies' lives as well.
SPEAKER_01 (14:06):
So I think my
question with that then is, you
know, historically speaking,when people start talking about
being very competitive andhaving competition as like kind
of a core tenet, of their ownpersonal philosophy, it has a
habit of alienating them fromthe world around them, right?
Because it's thisself-refinement, constant
comparison.
(14:27):
But honestly, brother, you areone of the most compassionate
and community-oriented peopleI've ever met.
So where does that marriage comefrom in you?
Because it's such a rare thingto see both of those in equal
measure.
UNKNOWN (14:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (14:42):
Yeah, it's funny you
say that.
I was listening to a podcastwith Magnus Carlsen and Joe
Rogan today.
And Magnus, who's the worldchampion chess player, was
talking about joy.
And he views chess as a hobby,not a job.
(15:03):
And he never wanted to view itas a job.
And the key component of havingit as a hobby is the joy aspect
of it.
Because if you really truly lovewhat you're doing and have fun
what you're doing, then youbecome obsessed.
And so that goes to your point,Wes, of how it could be
(15:24):
alienating to other groups or mynetwork.
And that is true.
I become obsessive for thedirection that I want to go, for
the purpose that I want toinstill and for the projects
that I'm running.
However, what keeps me going isseeing the reaction of everybody
(15:48):
that gets to experience what Ibring to the table.
And so when I see a person cometo one of my events, that's a
brand new person, a jujitsuevent that I did.
And they walk in, they're like,what's going on?
What the hell is this?
And so they get a beer and theygot just pure joy and excitement
on their face because they wantto see more.
(16:08):
Then at the same event, I have a20 year, 14 time world champion,
been there, done that, has gymsall around the world, has the
same expression on his face.
That really showed me that I'mdoing something right.
And an interesting point islater, maybe a year later at my
(16:31):
biggest event, I had a differentworld champion competing and
they requested no music orcertain policies for the event.
And it totally wasn't the same.
It wasn't the same.
And so I realized then that, youknow what?
I need to just focus on what Iknow and what I'm passionate
(16:53):
about because that comes outthrough what I do and everybody
else gets to see that and theysee what I'm doing and they get
to be a part of it and theywanna be part of it.
I never had to pay any mediaperson.
I never had to pay any staff formy events.
They were so engaging, they'reso unique that people just
(17:15):
wanted to volunteer and be apart of it, to see what's going
on.
And that's kind of the missionthat I, and vision that i try to
accomplish with every event thati do or or company
SPEAKER_01 (17:29):
i mean it sounds to
me that you take competition and
you use it as a tool to inspireinstead of alienate do you think
that's a fair assessment then
SPEAKER_03 (17:40):
100 100 i think one
SPEAKER_01 (17:44):
thing that makes you
so unique is the fact that you
you don't just contribute tocommunities Like, you build
community around you.
Like, you set this goal.
You set this path.
You inspire the people to getexcited, just like you were
saying, about the thing that youare passionate about.
And you build tribe just bybeing yourself.
And it's really cool.
(18:05):
I think that's kind of the pointof Badger, right?
Like, that's kind of thephilosophy behind it.
Do you mind telling us a littlebit more about Badger?
Yeah.
Because you're wearing theshirt.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (18:21):
Yeah.
So I realized throughout my lifethat the best people at what
they did viewed things as like agame or something.
They're doing something for funbecause they're passionate about
it.
And so I was always inspired bytechnology and the benefits that
(18:43):
can bring the world just throughautomation and efficiency.
And I think a key point iseffectiveness as well.
And so what really makessomething efficient and
effective?
It's where you have the personthat you're reaching have an
(19:04):
experience that they can connectwith another person at least on
that level where they're shareduh where they're uh sharing in
whatever whatever environment orhobby or whatever they're doing
but they can connect on thatlevel and so that could be jiu
jitsu that could be yoga thatcould be math class whatever but
(19:26):
if you can find that connectionbetween two people and you
create the platform That's allthat Badger is.
Badger is the playground forpeople to connect through
whatever type of experience orpassion that they share.
And then you can go out and findit with that person.
And so when you see videos orpictures or whatever of other
(19:49):
people doing what you like todo, that's a way to connect with
other people.
And that's your tribe rightthere.
And so Badger is just aplayground to help you grow, to
help you connect, to help youfind purpose.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
Yeah.
How does that relate to yourefforts for the Top Gun Olympics
and especially the Top Guntryouts that are coming up for
Fleet Week down in Miami again?
SPEAKER_03 (20:11):
Yeah.
So Top Gun Olympics to me isreally the epitome of blending
the community with the militarythrough athletic competition.
And so really first responders,veterans, military, we all kind
of have the, there's like aphysical fitness test and
(20:34):
there's always games andcompetitions and friendly
competition between differentunits.
But what I realized in themilitary is that we never really
talked to each other.
We never really competed againsteach other, the different units,
I mean, and so I wanted tocreate that in reality.
How come there isn't a platformfor different entities to really
(20:56):
compete against each other?
When Fleet Week Miami came totown, I realized this is the
opportunity that this can be areality.
We have Muscle Beach, which isan iconic location on South
Beach, where it's really thatalone is the essence of Top Gun
(21:17):
Olympics.
You have tourists, you havelocals, you have influencers.
Last year, when I was promotingTop Gun Olympics, I just went to
film a bunch of people doingfitness exercises.
I met Chris Heria, who's got 3million subscribers, who's a
local Miami fitness guru.
I met Jake Paul.
(21:38):
I met Sean O'Malley, the UFCfighter, all on the same day.
Meanwhile, you have tourists andlocals training at the beach at
the same time.
And so if there could be aplatform where we can reach a
larger audience and at the sametime blend the military so that
everything is led and with theleadership of what the military
(22:01):
represents to the community, toour country, then I wanted to
make that a reality.
And that was kind of the birthof Top Gun Olympics.
SPEAKER_01 (22:11):
Today's episode is
brought to you by the One Man,
One Mic Foundation, Badger,Operation Gamify, Three Buck
Water, and the Ink and FrameCollective.
Check out the episodedescription for more details.
You know, it's, I think, anuncontestable fact that you
stand at the top of that podiumholding gold and a ton of
(22:34):
elements, not just in youraccomplishments, but in your
core character as a person and,quite frankly, as a friend.
my question to you is nobodygets there without having to
overcome something so what didyou have to overcome to get to
that place
SPEAKER_03 (22:52):
yeah so the my
father said nothing ever comes
from anything unless you fightfor it and i kind of thought
throughout my life we had atumultuous relationship i just
thought that was the type ofperson he was however For my
(23:12):
transition, even in themilitary, even to go to sniper
school, I had to fight just toget a spot at the school.
But especially once I got out ofthe military, I didn't have
anybody.
I didn't have a purpose.
I didn't have a job.
I didn't have anything kind ofguiding me.
And so I was going throughschool just to get the VH check,
(23:36):
you know, coming in to at leastbuy me time to figure out what I
want to do.
I went to school before themilitary for finance.
I didn't really care about that.
And so the only thing I knewgetting out was I just wanted to
go to school for something Iliked.
First, it was marine biology.
Right before I got out, I wentto SeaWorld and saw a dolphin
(23:58):
come up and say hi.
And I talked to one of thetrainers.
I was like, hey, how do I getyour job?
I want to hang out with dolphinsall day.
And she said, I'm a marinebiologist.
So I did that.
But then it was kind of likehere and there.
It wasn't really until I foundasteroid mining and learning
(24:21):
that China had 92% of the rareearth metals used for
electronics that kind of got meinto physics.
And so that kind of startedgiving me a path, giving me a
direction.
But at the same time, I wasdrinking.
fighting every weekend.
I wanted that sense of freedomthat I found on the battlefield
(24:42):
in Afghanistan.
In Afghanistan, you're out thereand you're on site, especially
with me and my team.
We planned our own missions.
We had high value targets.
And it really was up to asergeant or me, a corporal, to
have the ultimate say at themoment to protect our Marines'
lives and accomplish themission.
(25:06):
So transitioning, I didn'treally know.
I was with, I had one friend whohad a similar kind of combat
experience as me.
So we connected really well inschool.
But every year he was going on aspirit journey.
He, around the same time he waslost, he was, he didn't have
his, give me one second.
(25:33):
He was kind of lost himself andso It really was that time
period where I started analyzingme, him, what kind of factors
led to our state of mind and howcan we get out of it.
We ended up going down toColombia.
He went on a spirit quest,thought he was reincarnated
(25:56):
Pablo Escobar, and it didn'treally go well with the local
people.
And so he got roped up.
to save his life and was put injail and ended up spending six
months in a mental institute inColombia.
That was obviously veryimpactful to me.
(26:18):
There were some things saidbetween him and me and it really
kind of made me realize, allright, I need to do something.
I need to change my life.
I need to have some type ofdirection.
We always talked about trainingtogether Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai,
something combat related.
And my neighbor just so happenedto be a Marine, trained
(26:42):
Jiu-Jitsu, and I said, screw it,let me try it one day.
Once I started trainingJiu-Jitsu, that kind of got me
right on the right path.
But at the same time, my bestfriend coming out of the
Marines, me and him, we're goingthrough other problems, not just
(27:03):
looking for fights, seekingfreedom, self-destructive
behavior.
But we were on hard drugs.
And that kind of gave us anoutlet to fill the void of the
day.
And so what I realized inschool, when you have BAH, you
have money, and you have justclasses to do.
(27:24):
You can pass the classes.
You don't have to pass theclasses.
You're still going to get yourBAH pretty much.
And if you have nothing else,then you have just you and your
thoughts.
And you spiral down, you spiraldown.
You don't have your support.
You don't have your brothers.
And there's not really anydirection.
And that's kind of the positionthat I was in.
(27:46):
I woke up one day.
I OD'd here on South Beach.
I woke up in the hospital.
SPEAKER_02 (27:57):
And
SPEAKER_03 (28:00):
it was...
some bad you know a bad batchwhatever but i got lucky um
apparently the ambulance wasdown the block for me and got to
me in 30 seconds if they weren'tin that location i wouldn't be
here today and so i woke up inthe hospital room puking and
(28:23):
realizing this is really mysecond chance at life um and i
just keep on thinking like mythe call to my mother.
That would have beendevastating.
And unfortunately, my bestfriend, he was going through a
(28:43):
similar type of problem.
He was in and out of rehabs.
He was a three-time felon.
But at that time, I already kindof got myself out of the rut.
I started my business.
I got, you know, pursued jujitsuand I told him, Hey, drop what
you're doing and come live withme.
And, uh, and so thankfully hedid that.
(29:07):
Um, and it really kind ofchanged his life around until a
point.
Um, and so that's kind of also,what I'm trying to say is an
important factor is that thismindset isn't and what I want to
do with Badger isn't really justa one-off thing.
It's not a cure-all.
(29:28):
It's a way of life.
It's a mindset.
You have to keep on doing it andadopt it as your way of living.
After he came to live with me,he was technically still on
probation.
So we did jujitsu, we did thebusiness.
(29:48):
He changed his life around.
He started getting back toschool so he can go to Emory
Riddle, his dream school, whichis number one ranked in the
country for aeronauticalengineering.
But when the probation officercame to visit us, he should have
came to me with a businessmeeting, came with me to a
business meeting, but he decidedto stay home that day.
(30:10):
So when the probation officerknocked on my door to see and
inspect if the place washabitable to have him and to
sponsor him, he answered thedoor and he shouldn't have been
there.
He should have stayed, he shouldhave been in Arizona.
So boom, he violated probation.
They sent him back to Arizona.
(30:31):
He was living in a trailer.
His family was in the vicinity,but it was during COVID time.
He couldn't spend time with hisfamily because of the COVID
problems and how they felt withCOVID.
And so he was alone.
At this time he had, after twoyears from living with me, he
(30:53):
got three days in school, gotinto Emory Riddle, the best
aeronautical engineering schoolin the country at that time.
And then one day he saw apicture of his ex-wife with some
other guy and he kind of wentoff to have a taste of the old
medicine.
(31:13):
Next thing I know, his parents,his mom haven't heard from him.
I'm calling.
I don't know where he's at.
For a week, we're trying to findhim.
And two days later, hisex-girlfriend finds him, passed
away in the trailer, OD'd fromfentanyl.
(31:34):
And so the point of all this isthere's always things that is
gonna be on your mind, butreally, you have to know how to
deal with it.
And coming out of the military,you're lost and without a
purpose, but you have theskillset.
You accomplished what you did.
(31:56):
You came back and survivedAfghanistan.
So we shouldn't, as veterans, weshouldn't view the transition
process as a detriment or aproblem to face, we should
really view it as a newbattlefield to embark on, a new
(32:18):
battlefield to accomplish ourlife's goals, use our skill set
to really have a new mission.
And I think that was the reallythe culminating fact of
everything that I learned frommy training process is you have
to be the one to want to be abetter person or not be a better
(32:40):
person, but to improve yourlife, to get out of the rut.
You have to be the one to make adifference and you have to be
the one to find your nextmission.
And that's the whole point ofBadger.
Dalton viewed everything as agame, as a final boss to beat.
He was the best at everything.
And I know he would have lovedBadger.
(33:01):
We played Pokemon Go all thetime together and Badger is kind
of similar.
But the point is with Badger isit allows you to find your next
mission.
Even if you don't know what itis, somebody else posts a
mission and you could accomplishit and you can connect with that
person.
And maybe that'll inspire you tocreate your own mission.
Or you keep on doing, completingmore and more and more and you
(33:23):
see your progress with thebadges you collect, with the
points that you level up.
And really that's my solution tonot only veterans, military,
first responders, but thecivilians and to really scale a
process that helped me.
And that's living with joy,social connection, and purpose.
SPEAKER_01 (33:44):
And you're
leveraging that tool for the Top
Gun Trials, right?
SPEAKER_03 (33:52):
Yeah.
So with the Top Gun Trials thisyear, we're going bigger than
ever.
We got 20 teams competing, butwe're opening it up to the
public.
I fostered a partnership withYMCA South Florida.
There's 170,000 members.
There's seven gyms spanningacross three counties.
And to me, the YMCA reallyembodies what community means to
(34:17):
me.
And so I think it's a perfectpartnership between the military
and the community having thisrelationship with YMCA.
So what we're doing is Top GunTrials Qualifiers.
and what badge the partnershipwith bad and the ymca is
providing real-time leaderboardsand missions for its members
(34:37):
under the supervision ofmilitary and veterans theme to
train with a purpose see howthey rank compared to other
members ymca already does anamazing job with health and
wellness but how do we inspirethe next generation to really
(34:58):
pursue something greater thanthemselves, to really have a
fuel and fire to train harderthan they thought they could
before.
And so it's more than justhealth and wellness.
What I'm trying to imbue istraining with a purpose through
real-time leaderboards and theseTop Gun trials to engage the
community through athleticcompetitions where they can see
(35:20):
how they rank.
Maybe they're gonna wanna trainharder Maybe it's something fun
for them to do.
Maybe it's a fun memory that youand your training partner, your
battle buddy, can say that youdid in honor of Fleet Week for
Lauderdale coming up.
But that's kind of the purposeof what we're doing with Top Gun
Trials.
SPEAKER_01 (35:39):
And so for anybody
listening or watching, the link
will be in the episodedescription or somewhere below
the post.
We'll make sure that it'savailable for you guys to go
check it out.
darling are you ready
SPEAKER_00 (35:54):
i'm ready
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
with all of that
said are you ready for the scary
part of this
SPEAKER_03 (36:00):
I mean, let's rip
off the bandaid.
I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_00 (36:06):
No, I promise to go
easy on you, Alex.
Thank you for sharing just alittle part of your story with
us.
But I figured I could give alittle bit of psychological
insight into why thiscompetition-oriented mindset has
been so successful for you, notonly as a vehicle for finding
(36:27):
purpose, but also happiness,right?
So you intuitively really caughton to a lot of what we know
about why competition is such astrong motivator, right?
So competition...
Motivates people to work harder.
It motivates people to innovate.
(36:48):
It motivates people to thinkcritically and to think outside
of the box, right?
And part of the reason whythat's the case is because there
is this innate comparison thatyou were picking up on.
And in psychology, we actuallyhave a concept for this.
It's called social comparisontheory.
(37:09):
And it actually works both ways,which is kind of interesting,
right?
So in upward social comparisontheory, we compare ourselves to
people that are perceived to beabove us in some way, right?
They've achieved something wehaven't achieved.
They've scored better than us.
They beat us in a jujitsu match,whatever the case may be.
(37:30):
And it inspires us to try towork as hard to achieve what
they've achieved, right?
There's also something calleddownward social comparison,
where we compare ourselves topeople who we perceive to be
less successful than us.
And it turns out that thosedownward social comparisons also
(37:51):
kind of boost our mood, right?
So just depends if you where youare in that hierarchy, if you
look either to people above youto inspire you, or people below
you to kind of make you feel alittle bit better about where
you're at, right?
So I think that that socialcomparison is a key part of
(38:12):
this.
But another really key part ofthis is that you're using this
as a vehicle forself-improvement, right?
And this, I think, is kind ofwhere we can distinguish between
healthy competition andcompetition that maybe is not so
healthy from a psychologicalperspective, right?
(38:32):
So when the focus is only onwinning, right, only on
achieving and certainly at thecost of other people, that
ultimately makes people feel badin the end.
But When the focus is onimprovement, learning and
pushing yourself, that's whencompetition becomes a vehicle
(38:53):
for self-discovery andimprovement, right?
And we actually know thatbroadly speaking, that is one of
the biggest ways that we canenhance our own resilience,
decrease feelings of depression,increase feelings of
self-efficacy is by buildingmastery, right?
(39:14):
Teaching yourself a new skill orpushing yourself in a new
direction and incrementallygetting better and stronger at
that task.
So the more we do that, the morewe feel like we can face other
challenges that we encounter inour lives as well.
(39:35):
Yeah.
And then plus, the winning partis kind of fun, right?
So I think that that is aninherent part of this too.
We know that when people playgames and they win, that that
actually activates the rewardcenter of our brains.
(39:56):
You release dopamine when you'replaying competitions.
And so not only are you usingthis as a way to...
Think critically, innovate, makeyourself better, but it's
genuinely enjoyable too.
And the other thing that reallystood out to me about what you
were saying and how you're usingcompetition is you're also using
(40:19):
it as a form to establishconnection, right?
So with the jujitsu, even thoughyou all are competing against
each other, You also are forminga community, right?
There's a brotherhood there.
And the best types ofcompetitions are the ones where
(40:40):
you can celebrate each other'swins rather than focusing solely
on your own.
SPEAKER_01 (40:50):
Makes a lot of
sense.
Yeah.
Way nicer than I thought it wasgoing to be.
I thought she was just going toeviscerate you.
I'm going to be real.
SPEAKER_03 (41:01):
I liked what you
said about the...
I forget what it was.
There was a point where youreally nailed it for me.
I'm trying to think what it was.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (41:22):
It was the whole
thing.
It was just one giant, solidpiece of gold.
SPEAKER_03 (41:26):
Yes.
UNKNOWN (41:27):
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (41:28):
Right.
I mean, for me, it's...
To try to boil that down into alife lesson to give somebody
who's that 17-year-old shitheadlike I was, look up to people
not with envy but with awe.
Emulate success.
(41:49):
Compete not just against thepeople next to you but with
yourself for a better tomorrow.
Because that's one thing thatyou've said to me God knows how
many times to the point where Ithink it should probably be a
catchphrase.
I'm always just trying to maketomorrow better, brother.
I'm always just trying to maketomorrow better, brother.
I think you just kind ofnatively and intrinsically fell
(42:13):
into this perfect psychologicalpattern for competition in the
healthiest way.
Is that fair?
SPEAKER_00 (42:20):
Yeah.
I think you summed it up.
SPEAKER_01 (42:22):
I mean, if you were
to look back and talk to a
17-year-old you with the lessonsthat you've attained like what
would you say and keep in mindthis is a very poor time machine
i didn't work very hard on it soyou've only got like 10 seconds
so you got like bullet points
SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
um i i would say uh
live your life um to tell
stories that matter you know uhtell stories that will resonate
with others so that they cancherish and remember for the
rest of their lives um dead mentell no tales so what i learned
(43:03):
in afghanistan is you reallyonly have this life your life
can be taken away in a secondand the most important thing is
to really be alive to experienceall of this
SPEAKER_01 (43:17):
okay that hit like
way harder than i was
anticipating um i mean likeanyone i could do not
SPEAKER_03 (43:26):
tear up man
SPEAKER_01 (43:27):
I mean, I think
you'd be hard pressed to find
somebody who does more livingthan you.
When I look up and I seesomebody that inspires me, your
face is there, man.
SPEAKER_03 (43:41):
You too, man.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me
SPEAKER_01 (43:45):
on.
All my friends are cooler thanme.
So if you're like being nice tome in return, like it kind of
like, you know, it's...
yeah
SPEAKER_00 (43:54):
you're supposed to
use the downward social
comparison alex
SPEAKER_03 (43:59):
oh
SPEAKER_02 (44:03):
ollie
SPEAKER_03 (44:03):
well
SPEAKER_02 (44:03):
it's hard
SPEAKER_03 (44:04):
uh ollie i guess if
being a little curious and a
little reckless you know thenand obsessed with building
community then maybe he's maybehe's right about something
SPEAKER_01 (44:20):
Thank you again so
much, man.
I really appreciate your time.
Thank you for coming on.
Hey, thank you to you and toBadger for sponsoring the show.
And I look forward to all of theamazing things you're going to
do, not just this year with theTop Gun events and trials, but
also with Badger, with ThreeBuck Water, with the VFW.
Just Alex is a fucking humanbeing because God damn it if
(44:43):
you're not Superman in my book,brother.
SPEAKER_03 (44:46):
Hey, thank you.
Thank you again.
And thank you, Dr.
Love.
That was amazing.
SPEAKER_00 (44:52):
You're welcome,
Alex.
You're amazing.
An inspiration.
SPEAKER_01 (44:57):
I appreciate it.
Every episode of All My FriendsAre Cooler Than Me is made
possible by the One Man, One MicFoundation.
Purpose, belonging, andconnection are often found in a
life of service, but so rarelyin the silence that comes after.
The One Man, One Mic Foundationexists to help veterans and
active duty service members findpurpose through storytelling,
belonging within ourcommunities, and connection to
(45:18):
the world through podcasting.
Help bring them back tocommunity.
Find out more atonemanonemicfoundation.org.