January 8, 2024 • 44 mins
Nancy Major was a normal person, she had an executive job, and had just gotten married. But when she lost everything, all at once, and had to support her child, she was lured into a life as a high-end prostitute. This life was incredibly financially lucrative for Nancy, but at a tremendous cost to her soul. And it all come shattering down, before a miraculous turn of events changed Nancy's life forever.
You can find Nancy's book, A Wretch Like Me: A Modern Day Mary Magdalene Saved By Grace, on Amazon: http://www.amzn.to/3SWty1O
Allegedly is a production of Voyage Media. The series is produced by Nat Mundel, Robert Mitas, and Dan Benamor. This episode, A Wretch Like Me, was written and directed by Dan Benamor. Executive produced by Nancy Major. Based on Nancy's book of the same name, available on Amazon (link above). Starring Annie Abrams and Jonathan Regier. Edited, sound designed and mixed by John Higgins. Original music by Derlis Gonzalez.
If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you're listening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
You can find Nancy's book, A Wretch Like Me: A Modern Day Mary Magdalene Saved By Grace, on Amazon: http://www.amzn.to/3SWty1O
Allegedly is a production of Voyage Media. The series is produced by Nat Mundel, Robert Mitas, and Dan Benamor. This episode, A Wretch Like Me, was written and directed by Dan Benamor. Executive produced by Nancy Major. Based on Nancy's book of the same name, available on Amazon (link above). Starring Annie Abrams and Jonathan Regier. Edited, sound designed and mixed by John Higgins. Original music by Derlis Gonzalez.
If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you're listening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
You'd want to believe this sort ofthing could never happen to you, But
let me tell you it can.If it could happen to me, it
could happen to anyone. I wasliving a totally normal life, and just
like that, I descended into ahow on earth? This is Nancy Major?
One day in two thousand and one, she was working as an executive
(00:32):
and married. Not too long afterthat day, Nancy had lost her job,
lost her marriage, and was workingas a prostitute. To understand Nancy's
journey, you need to know whereshe started. All that I really remember
is he was in and out ofmy life up until I was five years
old. He was very abusive tomy mother. He was not great with
(00:55):
me. He was not great witha lot of people. He was an
alcoholic, He was kind of agang banger guy. He was very young
when I was born. The lastmemory I have of him is him attacking
my mom and starting to come afterme and one of my cousins, and
him saying, I'm not your dad, I'm not your dad. Stop calling
(01:19):
me your dad. I don't everwant to see you again. So my
stepfather entered the picture when I wasabout six years old, only about a
year after my biological father had abandonedand said, you know, I never
want to see you again. I'mnot your dad. So when my stepfather
came into the picture, I wasreally hungry for his affection. I really
(01:42):
wanted him to love me. Ihad a younger sister from we're both from
the same biological father, but shewas just a baby, and he gravitated
to her and just lashed on toher. He seemed to really adore her,
and she was, you know,just as cute could be, and
they really formed an attachment. Hedid not like me from the outset,
(02:07):
and it was very very clear tome. I can remember going backward all
the way from the beginning. Hewas not He just did not want me.
It would have been a much neaterand cleaner picture, I think in
his mind to have had a newlittle family unit with this little adorable baby
(02:28):
girl, and then he and mymother had a child together, and now
he had the perfect little family.But it always was he would refer to
it as this is Nancy, andthen my daughter and my son, so
it was always my kids and thenthis Nancy. It was I was separate.
I was always an outcast. Withhim, and he made it very
(02:52):
clear, very obvious, he didn'twant me eating at the dinner table with
the rest of the family. Hedidn't want me. He did not want
me in that relationship, and sowe had a very distant and unaffectionate and
unloving sort of environment with him andmyself. After these challenging relationships with the
(03:15):
father figures in her life in heryouth as an adult, Nancy would eventually
meet someone who seemed like a stablemale presence in her world. So in
two thousand and one, I wasso excited I had met my dream come
true. I had met the manof my dreams. I'd been waiting my
whole life for this happily hour afterand I was so thrilled. He was
(03:38):
tall, dark, handsome, hewas just all of it. And I
was so ecstatic to be marrying thisguy. That he picked me, that
he wanted me, that he choseme, was really something really special to
me. They both found new jobsin a new state, and we're going
to move across the country together andstart a new life together with Nancy's year
(04:00):
old daughter from our first marriage,We set out on a cross country move
to start our new lives together todream new dreams, big dreams, and
we both landed fabulous new jobs inthis bright, shiny area and it was
really magical. It really was sucha magical time. We were extremely excited
(04:24):
about this new life we were building, were kind of reinventing ourselves. We
had this whole hopes and dreams andplans, and we were moving towards the
Big Apple and we had great,big dreams in that area and a brand
new start with my daughter. SoI had a young child at the time,
and he had claimed to love heralmost as much as he loved me.
(04:46):
So it was finally the whole fairytale. Unfortunately it didn't end up
that way. Well, this wasmore than red flags. It was very
shortly after and it was right afterthe tragic events eleven. They had happened
the week that I moved to thatarea, So it was within a matter
of weeks he had just point blanksaid, this is a mistake. I
(05:13):
don't want to be married to youanymore, and I need you and your
daughter to get out. Yeah.I think he had a psychological breakdown.
I think the truth is I wasstill living in Wisconsin. I had to
sell a house, I had topack, I had to get all these
things ready. His new job hadstarted before mine, so I had a
little bit of leeway because I hada daughter to enroll in school, and
(05:35):
you know, all the stuff involvedwith the cross country move. So when
nine to eleven happened, he wasall alone in this you know, big
study, and he had just startedthis new job, and then all of
a sudden, I mean, thewhole world and especially in that area,
everybody was just holding their breath.I mean it was just the whole world
(05:57):
was on high alert and alone,arms are going off, and all he's
hearing about and seeing and everything isall of this tragedy getting all around him,
and I think it freaked him out. I think he had somewhat of
a breakdown. That's my that's mybest guess as to what might what might
have happened. Nancy's new job,like her new marriage, seemed like an
(06:18):
ideal opportunity. Also, like hermarriage, it would end in surprising,
abrupt fashion. Right after I gotstarted in my brand new job, very
exciting executive position with a hospital inthe area. Right after I got started,
after just a few weeks after thetragic events nine nine to eleven,
(06:39):
happened and a major investor pulled outthe funding, and so the CEO of
the of the corporation of the hospitalcenter came to me and said, you
know, unfortunately, we're really reallysorry, but our funding is gone for
this position and we have to eliminateit. We just don't have any choice,
and hope you understand and will writeyou a great recommendation letter. You've
(07:02):
been fabulous, but there's just nothingthat we can do about it. And
they just were really on Everybody wasjust on pins and needles of what was
happening in the world. We hada pending war. Things were just really
high tense situations. So right afterthat, I kind of landed on my
(07:24):
feet, which I have a patternof doing. I was a go getter.
It was super driven, very ambitious, and I knew, Okay,
if I got this really great executivejob, I for sure would turn around.
I'm going to get another job.I reached back out to the recruiters.
I started looking at opportunities and Ifound this fabulous new opportunity, another
one where I would be Now atthis point, I would be the CEO
(07:46):
of a brand new entity that wasgetting built. It was just in the
process of being built, and itwas right in the area that we had
moved to, so it was reallyclose to the home that we were living
in, and it would have itjust seemed even more ideal than the initial
job. So I got into thatjob, and about six weeks into it,
(08:09):
maybe not even maybe four four weeksor so, the same kind of
situation happened where the owner of thecompany approached me and said, so terribly
sorry, this just has never happenedbefore. But the project, it's in
the middle of the build. Thebuild has been completely stopped. All of
the investors have pulled out at theeleventh hour. Everything was supposed to go
(08:31):
through, and now we're stuck withthe situation. We love you, we
think you're great, and the onlyopportunity that we actually can can consider would
be having you take one of ourregional traveling executive roles, where you are
traveling five days a week throughout anyareas that we need you. And at
(08:52):
that point, I had this youngdaughter, and I had my brand new
husband telling me he didn't want mein his life anymore. They needed to
get out right now, and thathe had made this tragic mistake in his
mind and no matter what I didto try and talk him out of that
and kind of change those things,the new job, all of a sudden
(09:13):
was untenable. It was just notgoing to happen. There was no way
I could take that kind of opportunityand travel five days a week with a
young child. That just wasn't evenan option. So at that time,
when I'm recognizing now I have nooptions left for a job. So I
have no job, I know I'mnot going to have anywhere to live.
(09:35):
I've got this daughter that I'm responsiblefor, my loved and precious daughter,
and I'm looking at my life andeverything that I had put all my eggs
into this basket. I'd moved usacross country. I lost two jobs,
not just one, but two jobsthrough no fault of my own and no
safety net. I'd spent my retirementsavings, I'd used all my credit cards,
(09:56):
I used every time I had andso all of a sudd and I'm
faced with my back is one hundredpercent up against the wall. And in
that part of the country, therequirements, I mean, there was just
no negotiation whatsoever. They wanted amonth and a half security deposit plus one
month's rent upfront. That's a tonof money in an area on the east
(10:20):
coast, completely far, far awayfrom the little tiny towns of Wisconsin that
I was familiar with, and Ijust I had no options. There was
nowhere to turn. There wasn't anyplace to look. I had gone to
every banking institution i'd got, butI had no Now I had no jobs,
so I had no job security.I couldn't offer them any kind of
(10:41):
here's my job stubs, here's whatI'm doing, here's the income I have.
I have nothing. I have absolutelynothing to turn to. But then
someone came into Nancy's life. Itseemed to have a relatively easy to all
of her problems. And I'd finallygotten an opportunity to just do a sales
(11:07):
rep job at an exposition center whereI was repping for an it kind of
company that was doing smart home securitystuff. And I was supposed to be
there for a whole day plus andafter after the expo event, which was
like a social hour, and myjob was to try and sign up as
(11:28):
many people as possible for a homewalkthrough, and the potential for commission on
the sales. Any sales that Imade was huge, and so there was
a huge upside. I was superexcited because I knew I was good at
this. I knew I could landa sale, and if I did,
this would also be a potential joband I could get hired on, which
(11:50):
would be the long term goal becauseI was so desperate. So I'm at
this expo and I'm meeting tons ofpeople. I'm collecting all the cars and
I'm talking to customers and I'm doingall the stuff. And then close down
the event during the day and wego to the cocktail hour afterwards, and
that's where the real socializing is takingplace, and I'm really hoping that I
(12:13):
can connect more one on one withsome of the people who had walked by
the booth earlier in the day.And sure enough, a really decent looking
guy came over. He's all dressedup in a fancy suit and it just
looks really like a dignified, sophisticatedbusinessman. And he comes over and he
introduces himself as Joel, and hetells me that he saw the system,
(12:35):
and he's like, I'm really reallyinterested in this man. My wife and
I really could use a security systemlike this, And tell me a little
bit more about it. So Igo into all the benefits and all the
features and all the sales pitchy thing, and he's all in. And he
says his wife will be down injust a little while. She's up in
the hotel getting ready and they're goingto go have dinner together. And he's
(12:56):
like, I really want you tomeet her. Oh my gosh, you
are just going to love her,but we really need to talk about this
security system. She is going tobe all in because this is a really
important thing. I'm so excited becausethis is like, oh my gosh,
I'm chomping at the bit. Iam desperate at this point. I mean
desperate, desperate. I had justbeen to a food pantry before I'd even
(13:16):
gotten to this expo, so Iwas really desperate for money, and this
idea. I had this like fishon the line, you know, I
had this potential, this potential customer, and I was really excited. So
a little while later, his wifedoes come down and I need her,
and the two of them are,yes, indeed, very excited in this
(13:39):
security system. And so we setup a home visit and Joel just starts
talking to me about the reason thatthey need this system, and it was
really weird. I walked over toJoel, who was putting on the grill
(14:00):
outside. Joel and Kelly seemed likea totally normal couple, but they would
say some things casually that weren't exactlynormal. I guess we don't really trust
the banking system, so we keepa lot of cash at the house.
I didn't know what to make ofthat. Oh, Kelly gets paid in
cash mostly. She's kind of likea model. In the moment, that
(14:24):
made sense, given Kelly's looks.Understood, Well, you won't have to
worry about security anymore after we getyou set up. What kind of modeling
does Kelly do. Well, it'snot exactly modeling per se. She's paid
to spend time with people. Isee. We're very secure in our relationship.
(14:45):
We just never saw what the bigdeal was about seeing other people.
Are you single? I was deeplyembarrassed about the fact that I already had
three failed marriages, So I justsaid I'm single and I want to stay
that way. Oh. I wasn'tstarry, of course, not. That
wasn't directed at you. You weremarried before. I don't really like to
(15:07):
talk about it. I understand youhave family nearby. It's complicated. Yeah,
we're not close to either of ourfamilies. It's always just been the
two of us. I know howthat feels. How long have you been
doing sales for your company? It'srecent. I used to work in executive
leadership. I'm going to get backthere at some point. Job market's a
(15:31):
lot tougher than I thought. WhatI was way too humiliated to say was
that I had just been to afood pantry to get food and toiletries and
I had negative thirty two sixty onein my checking account. We've been there.
Are you making good money doing thesales job? I'll need to I
have a daughter. Well, I'msure you'll do great. You're obviously gorgeous,
(15:56):
you present yourself well, and youknow your stuff. I could feel
my cheeks burning with embarrassment at thattime. I didn't feel deserving of any
kind of compliment. Just this isjust so you know. The option is
there. People would pay a lotof money to spend time with you,
like in what way? Dates justwealthy men, probably men who work in
(16:18):
executive leadership like you did. Theydon't have time to really look for a
romantic partner, and they'd probably havea lot in common with you. They
might even pay more for you forthat reason, and you'd pick who you
see. I'm not sure. Well, how much money do you think you
need to get solid? Whatever stressesyou have financially, what would it take
(16:40):
to clear those? Well, Iowe some back payments on my car.
I'm behind a couple of months onrent. I borrowed some money. I'd
say about five thousand. That wouldtake a lot of the heat off.
You'll make that in a week ortwo. Easy. Oh, look,
I'm overdrawn in my checking account.There's no way that I can pay you
(17:00):
anything. If that's where this isgoing. Oh no, not at all.
We'll help you get set up andthen you take it from there.
I just see you have a problem, and I know of a solution.
You seem like a good person whojust had some tough breaks. I'm just
letting you know. The option isthere dates, dates, go to dinner,
(17:22):
go to a show. If you'resome CEO and you're traveling and you're
in a new city for just acouple of days and you want some company,
that's what this is. They paya premium for the convenience of having
that companionship. What kind of premiumfive hundred two one thousand per date,
just like that, exactly like that. You're talking about being a hanker.
(17:44):
Oh, of course not. It'sa date like any other date. You're
in charge. If you're into eachother and you end up having sex,
no biggie, but it's not expectedand it's not the main purpose of the
date at all. I didn't knowwhat to believe. I wasn't sure this
was all above board, But therewas one thing I was sure of.
I couldn't carry around that pit ofdread in my stomach much longer. I
(18:07):
had literally less than zero dollars andbarely enough guess to even make it home
from this dinner. How does itwork? So he explained that he would
have to take pictures, and thatthere was a website that we would be
using, and he would do allof this. He was just totally willing
(18:29):
to help me with everything, andI got the feeling like it just seemed
really kind. I was really grateful, and I couldn't believe that him and
his wife were being so kind tome, and that they seemed to get
that I was in such a desperatesituation. And so when we started doing
the pictures and stuff like in mymind, this is like a headshot,
(18:49):
this is like a business photograph.I'm in a skirt suit. I mean,
I was just really really naive.I didn't unders stand. He got
me a cell phone that I coulduse specifically to He taught me how to
even respond, how to go backand forth with people interacting with the website.
(19:12):
There was like a forum where peoplewould reach out to people through the
website, and then just the waythat you set up like a chatting system
and all of that. And sothen the very next thing that they offered
was his wife actually had a datethat was wanting. She thought that he
(19:34):
would really like to meet me,and she offered to go along, and
that we were going to meet atthis hotel restaurant and we were going to
have dinner, and it was justgoing to be just nice, pleasant evening
of being and she was going tokind of show me the ropes of how
a date work. So we havedinner, we're having this really polite conversation.
(19:57):
Everything seems very much much kosher.It seems very polite, it seems
very professional. The guy is thisolder man. He's in banking, and
I was really into banking and understooda lot about business principles. I understood
that from my way of looking atit, after the events of nine to
(20:18):
eleven. The whole world was reallyon its head at that moment, and
there was a lot of implications inthe banking industry financially from that perspective.
So we have this really intense kindof conversation, and I thought that all
seemed very legit. And then hesaid, hey, do you guys want
to listen to the band that'll beplaying in a little bit And that sounded
(20:41):
fine, and she said yes,and I said yes. And then he
said that he left his jacket upin the room and would we come up
and come up to his room,he'd grab his jacket and we could go
listen to the band. And soI'm taking in. This is a really
fancy suite at the top of theof the hotel, and it's it's the
(21:04):
first time I've ever been in oneof those kind of hotel suites, an
executive suite kind of thing. Andso I'm looking around the hotel and he
keeps asking if we want a drink, and he's pouring drinks for him and
this other lady, and you know, just casual conversation. The band doesn't
start for a little while, andI'm turning around. As I'm turning around
(21:25):
in the room, all of asudden, I open up my you know,
I turn around and I'm opening upmy eyes to him taking off her
clothes and her taking off his,and I realized in an instant, i'man
just like that, everything is nowcrystal clear, and I know why I'm
(21:48):
there and what this is about,and I'm just horrified and paralyzed, and
I don't know what to do.In that moment, I felt that I
owed this woman everything I had agreedto this I had agreed, and I
don't want to make her look bad. I feel like I want to run,
(22:12):
and yet I'm stuck in this placeand all I can think is I
don't know what to do. Andthe guy says, come on over,
join us, and I did,and that is when everything in my mind
changed completely, and I just Ididn't see myself the way that I used
(22:34):
to, and I knew that Iwas somebody different. At the end of
that experience, the guy says thathe wants to continue seeing me, and
he had given me of a bonus, I guess you'd say, and she
had paid me five hundred dollars sobetween both of them for one evening.
(22:57):
I now realize what it would takeme in at least a week to make
five hundred dollars I made on onedate, and the fact that he wanted
to see me again, and asdisgusting and awful as I felt about it,
the alternative of going back to thefood pantry, going back to begging
(23:21):
and looking at the options which therewere none and no. I had nothing.
I had nothing to offer, andI had a daughter that I had
to support. I had bills thathad to be paid, we had to
live somewhere, we had to makeour way, and there wasn't anywhere else
to turn. So for me,in that moment, a decision was made
(23:45):
that I was going to just goforward. Nancy soon was making serious money.
In three weeks, she paid backalone from her mother with interest,
and pre paid her rent for sixmonths. She didn't owe any one anything.
After the six months, Nancy boughta house and paid for a year's
rent upfront. She was financially stable. Finally, I was making more money
(24:12):
in any given week than I'd everseen in my entire life. I was
bringing in anywhere between thirty to fortyfive thousand dollars a month a month,
and so for anybody realistically, thiswas two thousand and three, four five
six. It was very It wasa very lucrative and seductive business. But
(24:40):
at what cost. You're always onalert that there are going to be raids,
that you're being set up, thatsomeone could hurt you. In my
case, the majority of the time, not a single person on the planet
knew where I was at any givenpoint in time with any particular person.
I could be walking into a roomthat I could be not knowing at all
(25:06):
what's on the other side of that, who was on the other side of
that. And there were many,many, many dangerous situations that I was
faced with again and again and again, and one time in particular, there
was this guy that just came intothe room and just set the whole thing
(25:29):
on its head. Everything that Iever was afraid of came full circle came
right there. During one of mytrips, I went to three different hotels
in and around the airport, andon the last day I was exhausted after
seeing date after date, I onlyhad one date left. He just wanted
(25:49):
to talk. That would have beena small mercy, except for what he
wanted to talk about. I seewomen at the store, at the coffee
shop, walking their dogs, andI find myself playing out in my head
what I would do to them.Like if a woman is going for a
(26:11):
jog around my neighborhood and I'm drivinghome from the store, Well, maybe
it's nine o'clock at night, mosteveryone's home, it's quiet out. I'm
in my truck, and I couldjust pull my truck over to the side
and ask that blonde jogging for directions, like I'm from out of town and
I'm lost, and she'd stop joggingand I could just open my door,
(26:33):
grab her by the neck, lockone arm under her armpit, and just
hoist her up into the truck.No one would even notice, not drive
off. There was no punchline.It wasn't a joke. I was alone
in a hotel room with this man. No one, no one on planet
Earth had any idea that I washere. And I've got myself a secluded
lot just about five minutes away.There's never anyone there. I keep a
(26:57):
bowie knife in my truck in theglow compartment. I'd open the door and
hold her out so not to geta mess in the truck. You know,
she'd scream, but I'd slid herthroat before she could scream too much.
He was on the little couch closestto the door. I'd lock that
door. I'd put myself here.The only way out of this room was
(27:18):
through this man. Wayne, whenyou bleed a deer, you might hang
that deer up for a day beforeyou butchered up. Obviously, I couldn't
do that here, so I'd justput a tarp in the back. Two
tarps, I suppose, one toprotect the bed of the truck, the
other for discretion. Of course,I realized the only chance I had was
to talk Wayne down. What doyou do for a living? Wayne?
(27:41):
A living? Huh? Yeah,I'm a lawyer. What firm do you
work for? Sanderson and Sanderson.I'm not a Sanderson, but I'm about
to be partner, so I guesssoon it'll be Sanderson and Sanderson and Pike.
That's a big accomplishment. Congratulations,Thank you. Did you always have
(28:02):
an interest in the law. Itwas the only thing that got him to
switch topics. He was proud ofhis work. After another hour, he
looked at his watch. Thank you, miss Nancy, Thank you kindly,
my pleasure. He handed me thestandard envelope with payment and left. Other
interactions with clients would pivot around howmuch of Nancy's time they could demand,
(28:26):
to the point that they wanted herall to themselves. So I had this
guy that i'd been seeing for acouple of years. We had gotten pretty
close, and the more and morethat we got to know each other in
the first year, he just continuouslywas asking me to be exclusive. And
that's a particular word that's used inthat line of work. When somebody wants
(28:52):
to be exclusive with you, youtake yourself off of the market for anybody
else for dating. The men Ihad been seeing for quite a while,
Paul seemed genuinely interested in knowing moreabout my life. He would often ask
me what I wanted where I sawmyself going professionally. And then one day
(29:15):
he asked me this, you shouldjust see me. I don't think you
could afford me, try me.I this is what I do. Paul,
Do you understand what you're asking for? No, I completely understand.
(29:37):
I think you don't understand what's behindme. Give me the number and it's
done. Whatever you want, allI ask, is that you only see
me. I have a boyfriend outsideof this, a real boyfriend. I
hesitated, not wanting to offend him. Someone outside of this that doesn't bother
me. But in this, Iwant to be the only person you see.
(30:00):
And I want to be able tosee you for more than just a
day or a night here and there. It's going to be a lot.
I mean what I say anything.And I want to get you a car
too. I have a car.No like a real car, it is
a real car. I know youwant to get into business in a major
way. You need to look thepart. You're crazy. I'm crazy about
(30:23):
you. Hey, just because it'scheesey doesn't mean it's not true. And
you walk me into it and anotherthing, and I don't want you to
take offense. You know, Ithink you are the sexiest thing I've ever
seen. If you want that surgery, I'll cover that too. From our
many long conversations, Paul knew Iwas self conscious about some of the scarring
(30:45):
I had from childbirth and the tollthat the extreme weight gain and weight loss
had taken on my body. Iwasn't offended. It was something I had
wanted for years. I could hardlybelieve he was willing to give this incredible
gift to me. You're sure thisis it's too much. Hey. When
(31:10):
I make a decision, I makeit carefully. I'm not playing around here.
And all you want is just moretime with me? Is that so
bad? No? No it's not. Then just say yes and it's done.
Yes. He would lay down fifteenthousand dollars for this, twenty thousand
(31:36):
dollars for that, five thousand dollarshere, two thousand dollars here. I
mean, it was just grand amountsof money, and he was just displaying
it over and over again. SoI really didn't have any reason to not
believe him until one day, thesethree FBI agents start up at my house.
They knock on my door. I'mcompletely flabbergasted. They bring up his
(32:00):
name and they ask if I knowhim, and of course I do,
and they say he's been arrested forwire fraud and money laundering, and we've
been investigating his spending patterns and allof these huge bolos of money that he's
been taking out our link directly toyou. And so he's telling us that
(32:27):
it's all been alone and that youactually owe him this money what is the
true nature of your relationship? Andso I'm stuck trying to figure out really
quick on my feet with these threeFBI agents in my home. Oh my
god, Oh my god, Ohmy god, How am I going to
answer this in an honest way?How am I going to tell them?
(32:52):
I don't know this guy anything.You've got to be kidding me. I
can't believe he would say that.I was horrified at the thought that he
was telling them I owed him money. So they had just wanted to know
the nature of the relationship, andI had to admit that we had an
intimate relationship. We were dating,which was really far fetched. This guy
(33:15):
was much much older than I was. It would have been really unseemly for
the two of us to be togetherin a relationship. And it was kind
of a wink wink. Everybody knewwhat this kind of was. Eventually,
Nancy started to build her own legitimatebusiness, a fruit bouquet delivery business.
(33:38):
It seemed like a way out.My ticket to freedom out of that life
was to open my own business,and an opportunity presented itself out of nowhere
in my hometown. I can nowbe home every night. I don't have
to travel. I've got full carteblanche opportununity here right in front of me,
(34:01):
because all of the men that i'dbeen seeing, had all of the
money that I had been receiving,was going toward launching this new business,
and this was a fabulous opportunity.I did all of the really hard heavy
lifting of getting this business opened andoff the ground, and part of that
(34:21):
was marketing it like a crazy person. And I registered with every chamber of
commerce, every business networking group,every professional business association throughout my entire home
area, as well as the sixtymile radius surrounding it, so about thirteen
counties in total. And this isback in the time. You know,
you got to remember social media marketingwasn't a thing at all. It didn't
(34:44):
exist. I had a fax machine, and I thought I was pretty cool
because I had a fax machine.Most of everything I was doing was in
person on the phone, a lotof product sampling, a lot of word
of mouth, word of mouth,word of mouth, and one day out
of the middle of no in themiddle of a really hectic morning rush,
I got a phone call from thepresident of my local Chamber of commerce.
(35:08):
My cell phone rang. It wasone of the officers of the large networking
groups I was a member of.She asked if I had received a packet
in the mail, and I saidthat I'd been so busy I hadn't even
checked the mail. She explained thatshe had received an unmarked envelope containing some
(35:28):
very disturbing information about me that shethought I needed to see. She went
on to share that she had receivedseveral phone calls already from other business leaders
from the group, both from ourcity and others nearby. Asking if she
knew anything about this packet, Isaid I'd be right over and hung up
the phone, shaking so severely thatI dropped the phone, my head spinning
(35:52):
dizzily as I felt the air inthe room disappear in one giant whooshing sound.
It was as if everything went dead, silent, and time froze.
Somehow, I managed to get intoher office building and found the elevator.
My body was shaking uncontrollably as theelevator moved from floor to floor. I
(36:17):
tried to calm myself enough to besomewhat professional. When I arrived at her
office. She was waiting for meand hurried me inside, closing the office
door behind me. I sat downin one of the chairs at the front
of her big desk. As shehanded me the thick envelope. The outside
of the envelope appeared dirty, withsmudged fingerprints all over it. She'd already
(36:43):
opened it, But as I tookout the stapled packet and unfolded it,
I realized I had been holding mybreath, making my lungs feel as though
they were ready to burst, myheart beating wildly out of control as it
tried to force my brain into action. My mind was racing with the words
run, run, Just get upand run out of there as fast as
(37:06):
you can. Why are you justsitting there paralyzed? I couldn't move,
I couldn't breathe. As I openedup the packet and saw immediately right there
on the front page the ugly,disgusting, vile words that I knew would
be there, The words that caughtin my throat, blurred my vision and
(37:29):
made my face burn red hot withshame. They were the final nail in
the coffin. Nancy is a prostitute, an escort. I just knew in
that moment that everything was over.My business was over, my life was
over. Everything was over, andI discovered that the packet had not only
(37:53):
been sent to every business leader inmy home area, it had been sent
to business leaders throughout the entire thirteencounties. So I don't remember how I
got out of her office. Ihonestly don't. I was so hysterical and
panicked and shaking after realizing that allof these people had this packet, and
(38:19):
this packet listed out line after linethe name of the website that all of
us that were service providers used,as well as people who utilized those services,
so you had to pay for amembership. So this website is all
over this packet, and all Ican think about is anybody receiving this packet
(38:40):
is going to type in this websiteand the whole thing. It's irrefutable.
There's damning evidence. There's no wayI can deny that this is real.
And so I ended up going backto my house. I don't, like
I said, don't remember how Ieven got home. I I couldn't tell
you. I don't remember the tripat all. I ended up back in
(39:04):
my house. My daughter was atschool, and I'm alone, and the
only thing I can think is Iam so panicked and full of hysteria,
and I am just sobbing and justwhat am I going to do? Oh
my god, Oh my god,what am I going to do? What
(39:25):
am I going to do? Ohmy god, God, please please,
please, You've got to help me. And I'm just saying that my in
my head, I'm thinking my daughteris going to be so much better off
if I'm not here. There's nopossible way. How am I going to
face her? She doesn't need tobe part of this. How do I
keep this from her? How canI protect her with all of these people
(39:49):
knowing? And how am I goingto go to the local gas station?
How am I going to face anyonein this entire community? And so I
sighted that the only answer was forme to kill myself, to take myself
out, because I just couldn't livewith it. I didn't think there was
any way to live with it.So as I'm trying to open this pill
(40:15):
bottle, the bottle of the pillsjust kept flying out of my hands and
it would roll underneath the bed.It would I'd get it back of my
hands and it would roll over bythe night sound, and then I'd grab
it again, and I just couldnot get the top of this pill bottle
open. It was just the strangestthing. I'd taken these pills every night
to go to sleep. My boyfriendis walking in. He caused his parents
(40:38):
and he has them pray the Danieland the lions Den and I don't even
know what kind of pra that is. I'm not a religious person. At
that time. You have to picturethis. I'm on my bedroom floor.
I am hysterically sobbing. I'm tryingto kill myself, and all I can
say is, oh my God,Oh my God, Oh my God,
God, please help me, God, Please help me God. I don't
(40:59):
know what else to say. Idon't know who else I would call on
in that moment of desperation. Butthat's what I'm saying. So I'm saying
that again and again. And that'swhy my boyfriend says this prayer, has
this prayer said. It's basically totry and calm me down. It's the
only thing he could think of.Then he leaves, and that's when I
(41:20):
get this call, and it's thiscrazy thing that the whole website's crashed and
all of my stuff is erased.The website where Nancy had communicated with clients
displayed her photos. The entire digitaltrail of her time as a prostitute was
gone permanently. There's no way that'snot a miracle. There's no way anybody
(41:46):
nobody could tell me that's not amiracle. That was miracle. It seemed
like Nancy might be able to denythe truth without the hard digital evidence of
her secret second life. She movedon. Life continued, and along the
way, Nancy will be married atotal of five times. The fifth time
was the charm, and finally Imet the wonderful man in my dreams.
(42:10):
It's my fifth marriage. I finallyI feel like fifth is the charm.
He's my I call him my fifthand final Valentine. He's my forever Valentine.
And my daughter just absolutely adores him. He's become her dad and that
has just been such a wonderful experience. And in our new home community,
(42:31):
I've been able to return to beingan executive. But Nancy eventually grew tired
of hiding this part of her lifestory. About a year ago, God
started talking to me personally about sharingmy story and that it may help other
people. It would set other peoplefree from similar episodes of shame. Guilt
(42:55):
and fear because they think that thosethings are universal. My story my slightly
different than someone else's story, butanything that people are hiding from or feeling
that they've run from, I thinkthat this story sets people free. And
the number one reason why I'm sharingmy story through this podcast is to get
(43:16):
hope out. I think I'm ahope dealer today, and I think if
anybody could say anything about me,that'd be a great thing to be thought
of as a hope dealer. Iwanted to share the message that there's always
always hope and that no matter howfar down you might feel you are,
or how far away from hope youmight feel, believe me, there is
(43:40):
hope on the other side of whateveryour situation is. Allegedly is a production
of Voyage Media. The series isproduced by Nat Mandel, Robert Midas,
and At Benemore. This episode,A Wretch Like Me, was written,
(44:02):
directed, and produced by Dan Benemore, Executive produced by Nancy Major, based
on Nancy's book A Wretch Like Me, A Modern Day Mary Magdalen Saved by
Grace. The book is available onAmazon. A link is in the show
notes. Original music by Dirls Gonzalesedited, sound, designed and mixed by
John Higgins. If you're enjoying theshow, please leave us a five star
(44:23):
review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you'relistening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
You'd want to believe this sort ofthing could never happen to you, But
let me tell you it can.If it could happen to me, it
could happen to anyone. I wasliving a totally normal life, and just
like that, I descended into ahow on earth? This is Nancy Major?
One day in two thousand and one, she was working as an executive
(00:32):
and married. Not too long afterthat day, Nancy had lost her job,
lost her marriage, and was workingas a prostitute. To understand Nancy's
journey, you need to know whereshe started. All that I really remember
is he was in and out ofmy life up until I was five years
old. He was very abusive tomy mother. He was not great with
(00:55):
me. He was not great witha lot of people. He was an
alcoholic, He was kind of agang banger guy. He was very young
when I was born. The lastmemory I have of him is him attacking
my mom and starting to come afterme and one of my cousins, and
him saying, I'm not your dad, I'm not your dad. Stop calling
(01:19):
me your dad. I don't everwant to see you again. So my
stepfather entered the picture when I wasabout six years old, only about a
year after my biological father had abandonedand said, you know, I never
want to see you again. I'mnot your dad. So when my stepfather
came into the picture, I wasreally hungry for his affection. I really
(01:42):
wanted him to love me. Ihad a younger sister from we're both from
the same biological father, but shewas just a baby, and he gravitated
to her and just lashed on toher. He seemed to really adore her,
and she was, you know,just as cute could be, and
they really formed an attachment. Hedid not like me from the outset,
(02:07):
and it was very very clear tome. I can remember going backward all
the way from the beginning. Hewas not He just did not want me.
It would have been a much neaterand cleaner picture, I think in
his mind to have had a newlittle family unit with this little adorable baby
(02:28):
girl, and then he and mymother had a child together, and now
he had the perfect little family.But it always was he would refer to
it as this is Nancy, andthen my daughter and my son, so
it was always my kids and thenthis Nancy. It was I was separate.
I was always an outcast. Withhim, and he made it very
(02:52):
clear, very obvious, he didn'twant me eating at the dinner table with
the rest of the family. Hedidn't want me. He did not want
me in that relationship, and sowe had a very distant and unaffectionate and
unloving sort of environment with him andmyself. After these challenging relationships with the
(03:15):
father figures in her life in heryouth as an adult, Nancy would eventually
meet someone who seemed like a stablemale presence in her world. So in
two thousand and one, I wasso excited I had met my dream come
true. I had met the manof my dreams. I'd been waiting my
whole life for this happily hour afterand I was so thrilled. He was
(03:38):
tall, dark, handsome, hewas just all of it. And I
was so ecstatic to be marrying thisguy. That he picked me, that
he wanted me, that he choseme, was really something really special to
me. They both found new jobsin a new state, and we're going
to move across the country together andstart a new life together with Nancy's year
(04:00):
old daughter from our first marriage,We set out on a cross country move
to start our new lives together todream new dreams, big dreams, and
we both landed fabulous new jobs inthis bright, shiny area and it was
really magical. It really was sucha magical time. We were extremely excited
(04:24):
about this new life we were building, were kind of reinventing ourselves. We
had this whole hopes and dreams andplans, and we were moving towards the
Big Apple and we had great,big dreams in that area and a brand
new start with my daughter. SoI had a young child at the time,
and he had claimed to love heralmost as much as he loved me.
(04:46):
So it was finally the whole fairytale. Unfortunately it didn't end up
that way. Well, this wasmore than red flags. It was very
shortly after and it was right afterthe tragic events eleven. They had happened
the week that I moved to thatarea, So it was within a matter
of weeks he had just point blanksaid, this is a mistake. I
(05:13):
don't want to be married to youanymore, and I need you and your
daughter to get out. Yeah.I think he had a psychological breakdown.
I think the truth is I wasstill living in Wisconsin. I had to
sell a house, I had topack, I had to get all these
things ready. His new job hadstarted before mine, so I had a
little bit of leeway because I hada daughter to enroll in school, and
(05:35):
you know, all the stuff involvedwith the cross country move. So when
nine to eleven happened, he wasall alone in this you know, big
study, and he had just startedthis new job, and then all of
a sudden, I mean, thewhole world and especially in that area,
everybody was just holding their breath.I mean it was just the whole world
(05:57):
was on high alert and alone,arms are going off, and all he's
hearing about and seeing and everything isall of this tragedy getting all around him,
and I think it freaked him out. I think he had somewhat of
a breakdown. That's my that's mybest guess as to what might what might
have happened. Nancy's new job,like her new marriage, seemed like an
(06:18):
ideal opportunity. Also, like hermarriage, it would end in surprising,
abrupt fashion. Right after I gotstarted in my brand new job, very
exciting executive position with a hospital inthe area. Right after I got started,
after just a few weeks after thetragic events nine nine to eleven,
(06:39):
happened and a major investor pulled outthe funding, and so the CEO of
the of the corporation of the hospitalcenter came to me and said, you
know, unfortunately, we're really reallysorry, but our funding is gone for
this position and we have to eliminateit. We just don't have any choice,
and hope you understand and will writeyou a great recommendation letter. You've
(07:02):
been fabulous, but there's just nothingthat we can do about it. And
they just were really on Everybody wasjust on pins and needles of what was
happening in the world. We hada pending war. Things were just really
high tense situations. So right afterthat, I kind of landed on my
(07:24):
feet, which I have a patternof doing. I was a go getter.
It was super driven, very ambitious, and I knew, Okay,
if I got this really great executivejob, I for sure would turn around.
I'm going to get another job.I reached back out to the recruiters.
I started looking at opportunities and Ifound this fabulous new opportunity, another
one where I would be Now atthis point, I would be the CEO
(07:46):
of a brand new entity that wasgetting built. It was just in the
process of being built, and itwas right in the area that we had
moved to, so it was reallyclose to the home that we were living
in, and it would have itjust seemed even more ideal than the initial
job. So I got into thatjob, and about six weeks into it,
(08:09):
maybe not even maybe four four weeksor so, the same kind of
situation happened where the owner of thecompany approached me and said, so terribly
sorry, this just has never happenedbefore. But the project, it's in
the middle of the build. Thebuild has been completely stopped. All of
the investors have pulled out at theeleventh hour. Everything was supposed to go
(08:31):
through, and now we're stuck withthe situation. We love you, we
think you're great, and the onlyopportunity that we actually can can consider would
be having you take one of ourregional traveling executive roles, where you are
traveling five days a week throughout anyareas that we need you. And at
(08:52):
that point, I had this youngdaughter, and I had my brand new
husband telling me he didn't want mein his life anymore. They needed to
get out right now, and thathe had made this tragic mistake in his
mind and no matter what I didto try and talk him out of that
and kind of change those things,the new job, all of a sudden
(09:13):
was untenable. It was just notgoing to happen. There was no way
I could take that kind of opportunityand travel five days a week with a
young child. That just wasn't evenan option. So at that time,
when I'm recognizing now I have nooptions left for a job. So I
have no job, I know I'mnot going to have anywhere to live.
(09:35):
I've got this daughter that I'm responsiblefor, my loved and precious daughter,
and I'm looking at my life andeverything that I had put all my eggs
into this basket. I'd moved usacross country. I lost two jobs,
not just one, but two jobsthrough no fault of my own and no
safety net. I'd spent my retirementsavings, I'd used all my credit cards,
(09:56):
I used every time I had andso all of a sudd and I'm
faced with my back is one hundredpercent up against the wall. And in
that part of the country, therequirements, I mean, there was just
no negotiation whatsoever. They wanted amonth and a half security deposit plus one
month's rent upfront. That's a tonof money in an area on the east
(10:20):
coast, completely far, far awayfrom the little tiny towns of Wisconsin that
I was familiar with, and Ijust I had no options. There was
nowhere to turn. There wasn't anyplace to look. I had gone to
every banking institution i'd got, butI had no Now I had no jobs,
so I had no job security.I couldn't offer them any kind of
(10:41):
here's my job stubs, here's whatI'm doing, here's the income I have.
I have nothing. I have absolutelynothing to turn to. But then
someone came into Nancy's life. Itseemed to have a relatively easy to all
of her problems. And I'd finallygotten an opportunity to just do a sales
(11:07):
rep job at an exposition center whereI was repping for an it kind of
company that was doing smart home securitystuff. And I was supposed to be
there for a whole day plus andafter after the expo event, which was
like a social hour, and myjob was to try and sign up as
(11:28):
many people as possible for a homewalkthrough, and the potential for commission on
the sales. Any sales that Imade was huge, and so there was
a huge upside. I was superexcited because I knew I was good at
this. I knew I could landa sale, and if I did,
this would also be a potential joband I could get hired on, which
(11:50):
would be the long term goal becauseI was so desperate. So I'm at
this expo and I'm meeting tons ofpeople. I'm collecting all the cars and
I'm talking to customers and I'm doingall the stuff. And then close down
the event during the day and wego to the cocktail hour afterwards, and
that's where the real socializing is takingplace, and I'm really hoping that I
(12:13):
can connect more one on one withsome of the people who had walked by
the booth earlier in the day.And sure enough, a really decent looking
guy came over. He's all dressedup in a fancy suit and it just
looks really like a dignified, sophisticatedbusinessman. And he comes over and he
introduces himself as Joel, and hetells me that he saw the system,
(12:35):
and he's like, I'm really reallyinterested in this man. My wife and
I really could use a security systemlike this, And tell me a little
bit more about it. So Igo into all the benefits and all the
features and all the sales pitchy thing, and he's all in. And he
says his wife will be down injust a little while. She's up in
the hotel getting ready and they're goingto go have dinner together. And he's
(12:56):
like, I really want you tomeet her. Oh my gosh, you
are just going to love her,but we really need to talk about this
security system. She is going tobe all in because this is a really
important thing. I'm so excited becausethis is like, oh my gosh,
I'm chomping at the bit. Iam desperate at this point. I mean
desperate, desperate. I had justbeen to a food pantry before I'd even
(13:16):
gotten to this expo, so Iwas really desperate for money, and this
idea. I had this like fishon the line, you know, I
had this potential, this potential customer, and I was really excited. So
a little while later, his wifedoes come down and I need her,
and the two of them are,yes, indeed, very excited in this
(13:39):
security system. And so we setup a home visit and Joel just starts
talking to me about the reason thatthey need this system, and it was
really weird. I walked over toJoel, who was putting on the grill
(14:00):
outside. Joel and Kelly seemed likea totally normal couple, but they would
say some things casually that weren't exactlynormal. I guess we don't really trust
the banking system, so we keepa lot of cash at the house.
I didn't know what to make ofthat. Oh, Kelly gets paid in
cash mostly. She's kind of likea model. In the moment, that
(14:24):
made sense, given Kelly's looks.Understood, Well, you won't have to
worry about security anymore after we getyou set up. What kind of modeling
does Kelly do. Well, it'snot exactly modeling per se. She's paid
to spend time with people. Isee. We're very secure in our relationship.
(14:45):
We just never saw what the bigdeal was about seeing other people.
Are you single? I was deeplyembarrassed about the fact that I already had
three failed marriages, So I justsaid I'm single and I want to stay
that way. Oh. I wasn'tstarry, of course, not. That
wasn't directed at you. You weremarried before. I don't really like to
(15:07):
talk about it. I understand youhave family nearby. It's complicated. Yeah,
we're not close to either of ourfamilies. It's always just been the
two of us. I know howthat feels. How long have you been
doing sales for your company? It'srecent. I used to work in executive
leadership. I'm going to get backthere at some point. Job market's a
(15:31):
lot tougher than I thought. WhatI was way too humiliated to say was
that I had just been to afood pantry to get food and toiletries and
I had negative thirty two sixty onein my checking account. We've been there.
Are you making good money doing thesales job? I'll need to I
have a daughter. Well, I'msure you'll do great. You're obviously gorgeous,
(15:56):
you present yourself well, and youknow your stuff. I could feel
my cheeks burning with embarrassment at thattime. I didn't feel deserving of any
kind of compliment. Just this isjust so you know. The option is
there. People would pay a lotof money to spend time with you,
like in what way? Dates justwealthy men, probably men who work in
(16:18):
executive leadership like you did. Theydon't have time to really look for a
romantic partner, and they'd probably havea lot in common with you. They
might even pay more for you forthat reason, and you'd pick who you
see. I'm not sure. Well, how much money do you think you
need to get solid? Whatever stressesyou have financially, what would it take
(16:40):
to clear those? Well, Iowe some back payments on my car.
I'm behind a couple of months onrent. I borrowed some money. I'd
say about five thousand. That wouldtake a lot of the heat off.
You'll make that in a week ortwo. Easy. Oh, look,
I'm overdrawn in my checking account.There's no way that I can pay you
(17:00):
anything. If that's where this isgoing. Oh no, not at all.
We'll help you get set up andthen you take it from there.
I just see you have a problem, and I know of a solution.
You seem like a good person whojust had some tough breaks. I'm just
letting you know. The option isthere dates, dates, go to dinner,
(17:22):
go to a show. If you'resome CEO and you're traveling and you're
in a new city for just acouple of days and you want some company,
that's what this is. They paya premium for the convenience of having
that companionship. What kind of premiumfive hundred two one thousand per date,
just like that, exactly like that. You're talking about being a hanker.
(17:44):
Oh, of course not. It'sa date like any other date. You're
in charge. If you're into eachother and you end up having sex,
no biggie, but it's not expectedand it's not the main purpose of the
date at all. I didn't knowwhat to believe. I wasn't sure this
was all above board, But therewas one thing I was sure of.
I couldn't carry around that pit ofdread in my stomach much longer. I
(18:07):
had literally less than zero dollars andbarely enough guess to even make it home
from this dinner. How does itwork? So he explained that he would
have to take pictures, and thatthere was a website that we would be
using, and he would do allof this. He was just totally willing
(18:29):
to help me with everything, andI got the feeling like it just seemed
really kind. I was really grateful, and I couldn't believe that him and
his wife were being so kind tome, and that they seemed to get
that I was in such a desperatesituation. And so when we started doing
the pictures and stuff like in mymind, this is like a headshot,
(18:49):
this is like a business photograph.I'm in a skirt suit. I mean,
I was just really really naive.I didn't unders stand. He got
me a cell phone that I coulduse specifically to He taught me how to
even respond, how to go backand forth with people interacting with the website.
(19:12):
There was like a forum where peoplewould reach out to people through the
website, and then just the waythat you set up like a chatting system
and all of that. And sothen the very next thing that they offered
was his wife actually had a datethat was wanting. She thought that he
(19:34):
would really like to meet me,and she offered to go along, and
that we were going to meet atthis hotel restaurant and we were going to
have dinner, and it was justgoing to be just nice, pleasant evening
of being and she was going tokind of show me the ropes of how
a date work. So we havedinner, we're having this really polite conversation.
(19:57):
Everything seems very much much kosher.It seems very polite, it seems
very professional. The guy is thisolder man. He's in banking, and
I was really into banking and understooda lot about business principles. I understood
that from my way of looking atit, after the events of nine to
(20:18):
eleven. The whole world was reallyon its head at that moment, and
there was a lot of implications inthe banking industry financially from that perspective.
So we have this really intense kindof conversation, and I thought that all
seemed very legit. And then hesaid, hey, do you guys want
to listen to the band that'll beplaying in a little bit And that sounded
(20:41):
fine, and she said yes,and I said yes. And then he
said that he left his jacket upin the room and would we come up
and come up to his room,he'd grab his jacket and we could go
listen to the band. And soI'm taking in. This is a really
fancy suite at the top of theof the hotel, and it's it's the
(21:04):
first time I've ever been in oneof those kind of hotel suites, an
executive suite kind of thing. Andso I'm looking around the hotel and he
keeps asking if we want a drink, and he's pouring drinks for him and
this other lady, and you know, just casual conversation. The band doesn't
start for a little while, andI'm turning around. As I'm turning around
(21:25):
in the room, all of asudden, I open up my you know,
I turn around and I'm opening upmy eyes to him taking off her
clothes and her taking off his,and I realized in an instant, i'man
just like that, everything is nowcrystal clear, and I know why I'm
(21:48):
there and what this is about,and I'm just horrified and paralyzed, and
I don't know what to do.In that moment, I felt that I
owed this woman everything I had agreedto this I had agreed, and I
don't want to make her look bad. I feel like I want to run,
(22:12):
and yet I'm stuck in this placeand all I can think is I
don't know what to do. Andthe guy says, come on over,
join us, and I did,and that is when everything in my mind
changed completely, and I just Ididn't see myself the way that I used
(22:34):
to, and I knew that Iwas somebody different. At the end of
that experience, the guy says thathe wants to continue seeing me, and
he had given me of a bonus, I guess you'd say, and she
had paid me five hundred dollars sobetween both of them for one evening.
(22:57):
I now realize what it would takeme in at least a week to make
five hundred dollars I made on onedate, and the fact that he wanted
to see me again, and asdisgusting and awful as I felt about it,
the alternative of going back to thefood pantry, going back to begging
(23:21):
and looking at the options which therewere none and no. I had nothing.
I had nothing to offer, andI had a daughter that I had
to support. I had bills thathad to be paid, we had to
live somewhere, we had to makeour way, and there wasn't anywhere else
to turn. So for me,in that moment, a decision was made
(23:45):
that I was going to just goforward. Nancy soon was making serious money.
In three weeks, she paid backalone from her mother with interest,
and pre paid her rent for sixmonths. She didn't owe any one anything.
After the six months, Nancy boughta house and paid for a year's
rent upfront. She was financially stable. Finally, I was making more money
(24:12):
in any given week than I'd everseen in my entire life. I was
bringing in anywhere between thirty to fortyfive thousand dollars a month a month,
and so for anybody realistically, thiswas two thousand and three, four five
six. It was very It wasa very lucrative and seductive business. But
(24:40):
at what cost. You're always onalert that there are going to be raids,
that you're being set up, thatsomeone could hurt you. In my
case, the majority of the time, not a single person on the planet
knew where I was at any givenpoint in time with any particular person.
I could be walking into a roomthat I could be not knowing at all
(25:06):
what's on the other side of that, who was on the other side of
that. And there were many,many, many dangerous situations that I was
faced with again and again and again, and one time in particular, there
was this guy that just came intothe room and just set the whole thing
(25:29):
on its head. Everything that Iever was afraid of came full circle came
right there. During one of mytrips, I went to three different hotels
in and around the airport, andon the last day I was exhausted after
seeing date after date, I onlyhad one date left. He just wanted
(25:49):
to talk. That would have beena small mercy, except for what he
wanted to talk about. I seewomen at the store, at the coffee
shop, walking their dogs, andI find myself playing out in my head
what I would do to them.Like if a woman is going for a
(26:11):
jog around my neighborhood and I'm drivinghome from the store, Well, maybe
it's nine o'clock at night, mosteveryone's home, it's quiet out. I'm
in my truck, and I couldjust pull my truck over to the side
and ask that blonde jogging for directions, like I'm from out of town and
I'm lost, and she'd stop joggingand I could just open my door,
(26:33):
grab her by the neck, lockone arm under her armpit, and just
hoist her up into the truck.No one would even notice, not drive
off. There was no punchline.It wasn't a joke. I was alone
in a hotel room with this man. No one, no one on planet
Earth had any idea that I washere. And I've got myself a secluded
lot just about five minutes away.There's never anyone there. I keep a
(26:57):
bowie knife in my truck in theglow compartment. I'd open the door and
hold her out so not to geta mess in the truck. You know,
she'd scream, but I'd slid herthroat before she could scream too much.
He was on the little couch closestto the door. I'd lock that
door. I'd put myself here.The only way out of this room was
(27:18):
through this man. Wayne, whenyou bleed a deer, you might hang
that deer up for a day beforeyou butchered up. Obviously, I couldn't
do that here, so I'd justput a tarp in the back. Two
tarps, I suppose, one toprotect the bed of the truck, the
other for discretion. Of course,I realized the only chance I had was
to talk Wayne down. What doyou do for a living? Wayne?
(27:41):
A living? Huh? Yeah,I'm a lawyer. What firm do you
work for? Sanderson and Sanderson.I'm not a Sanderson, but I'm about
to be partner, so I guesssoon it'll be Sanderson and Sanderson and Pike.
That's a big accomplishment. Congratulations,Thank you. Did you always have
(28:02):
an interest in the law. Itwas the only thing that got him to
switch topics. He was proud ofhis work. After another hour, he
looked at his watch. Thank you, miss Nancy, Thank you kindly,
my pleasure. He handed me thestandard envelope with payment and left. Other
interactions with clients would pivot around howmuch of Nancy's time they could demand,
(28:26):
to the point that they wanted herall to themselves. So I had this
guy that i'd been seeing for acouple of years. We had gotten pretty
close, and the more and morethat we got to know each other in
the first year, he just continuouslywas asking me to be exclusive. And
that's a particular word that's used inthat line of work. When somebody wants
(28:52):
to be exclusive with you, youtake yourself off of the market for anybody
else for dating. The men Ihad been seeing for quite a while,
Paul seemed genuinely interested in knowing moreabout my life. He would often ask
me what I wanted where I sawmyself going professionally. And then one day
(29:15):
he asked me this, you shouldjust see me. I don't think you
could afford me, try me.I this is what I do. Paul,
Do you understand what you're asking for? No, I completely understand.
(29:37):
I think you don't understand what's behindme. Give me the number and it's
done. Whatever you want, allI ask, is that you only see
me. I have a boyfriend outsideof this, a real boyfriend. I
hesitated, not wanting to offend him. Someone outside of this that doesn't bother
me. But in this, Iwant to be the only person you see.
(30:00):
And I want to be able tosee you for more than just a
day or a night here and there. It's going to be a lot.
I mean what I say anything.And I want to get you a car
too. I have a car.No like a real car, it is
a real car. I know youwant to get into business in a major
way. You need to look thepart. You're crazy. I'm crazy about
(30:23):
you. Hey, just because it'scheesey doesn't mean it's not true. And
you walk me into it and anotherthing, and I don't want you to
take offense. You know, Ithink you are the sexiest thing I've ever
seen. If you want that surgery, I'll cover that too. From our
many long conversations, Paul knew Iwas self conscious about some of the scarring
(30:45):
I had from childbirth and the tollthat the extreme weight gain and weight loss
had taken on my body. Iwasn't offended. It was something I had
wanted for years. I could hardlybelieve he was willing to give this incredible
gift to me. You're sure thisis it's too much. Hey. When
(31:10):
I make a decision, I makeit carefully. I'm not playing around here.
And all you want is just moretime with me? Is that so
bad? No? No it's not. Then just say yes and it's done.
Yes. He would lay down fifteenthousand dollars for this, twenty thousand
(31:36):
dollars for that, five thousand dollarshere, two thousand dollars here. I
mean, it was just grand amountsof money, and he was just displaying
it over and over again. SoI really didn't have any reason to not
believe him until one day, thesethree FBI agents start up at my house.
They knock on my door. I'mcompletely flabbergasted. They bring up his
(32:00):
name and they ask if I knowhim, and of course I do,
and they say he's been arrested forwire fraud and money laundering, and we've
been investigating his spending patterns and allof these huge bolos of money that he's
been taking out our link directly toyou. And so he's telling us that
(32:27):
it's all been alone and that youactually owe him this money what is the
true nature of your relationship? Andso I'm stuck trying to figure out really
quick on my feet with these threeFBI agents in my home. Oh my
god, Oh my god, Ohmy god, How am I going to
answer this in an honest way?How am I going to tell them?
(32:52):
I don't know this guy anything.You've got to be kidding me. I
can't believe he would say that.I was horrified at the thought that he
was telling them I owed him money. So they had just wanted to know
the nature of the relationship, andI had to admit that we had an
intimate relationship. We were dating,which was really far fetched. This guy
(33:15):
was much much older than I was. It would have been really unseemly for
the two of us to be togetherin a relationship. And it was kind
of a wink wink. Everybody knewwhat this kind of was. Eventually,
Nancy started to build her own legitimatebusiness, a fruit bouquet delivery business.
(33:38):
It seemed like a way out.My ticket to freedom out of that life
was to open my own business,and an opportunity presented itself out of nowhere
in my hometown. I can nowbe home every night. I don't have
to travel. I've got full carteblanche opportununity here right in front of me,
(34:01):
because all of the men that i'dbeen seeing, had all of the
money that I had been receiving,was going toward launching this new business,
and this was a fabulous opportunity.I did all of the really hard heavy
lifting of getting this business opened andoff the ground, and part of that
(34:21):
was marketing it like a crazy person. And I registered with every chamber of
commerce, every business networking group,every professional business association throughout my entire home
area, as well as the sixtymile radius surrounding it, so about thirteen
counties in total. And this isback in the time. You know,
you got to remember social media marketingwasn't a thing at all. It didn't
(34:44):
exist. I had a fax machine, and I thought I was pretty cool
because I had a fax machine.Most of everything I was doing was in
person on the phone, a lotof product sampling, a lot of word
of mouth, word of mouth,word of mouth, and one day out
of the middle of no in themiddle of a really hectic morning rush,
I got a phone call from thepresident of my local Chamber of commerce.
(35:08):
My cell phone rang. It wasone of the officers of the large networking
groups I was a member of.She asked if I had received a packet
in the mail, and I saidthat I'd been so busy I hadn't even
checked the mail. She explained thatshe had received an unmarked envelope containing some
(35:28):
very disturbing information about me that shethought I needed to see. She went
on to share that she had receivedseveral phone calls already from other business leaders
from the group, both from ourcity and others nearby. Asking if she
knew anything about this packet, Isaid I'd be right over and hung up
the phone, shaking so severely thatI dropped the phone, my head spinning
(35:52):
dizzily as I felt the air inthe room disappear in one giant whooshing sound.
It was as if everything went dead, silent, and time froze.
Somehow, I managed to get intoher office building and found the elevator.
My body was shaking uncontrollably as theelevator moved from floor to floor. I
(36:17):
tried to calm myself enough to besomewhat professional. When I arrived at her
office. She was waiting for meand hurried me inside, closing the office
door behind me. I sat downin one of the chairs at the front
of her big desk. As shehanded me the thick envelope. The outside
of the envelope appeared dirty, withsmudged fingerprints all over it. She'd already
(36:43):
opened it, But as I tookout the stapled packet and unfolded it,
I realized I had been holding mybreath, making my lungs feel as though
they were ready to burst, myheart beating wildly out of control as it
tried to force my brain into action. My mind was racing with the words
run, run, Just get upand run out of there as fast as
(37:06):
you can. Why are you justsitting there paralyzed? I couldn't move,
I couldn't breathe. As I openedup the packet and saw immediately right there
on the front page the ugly,disgusting, vile words that I knew would
be there, The words that caughtin my throat, blurred my vision and
(37:29):
made my face burn red hot withshame. They were the final nail in
the coffin. Nancy is a prostitute, an escort. I just knew in
that moment that everything was over.My business was over, my life was
over. Everything was over, andI discovered that the packet had not only
(37:53):
been sent to every business leader inmy home area, it had been sent
to business leaders throughout the entire thirteencounties. So I don't remember how I
got out of her office. Ihonestly don't. I was so hysterical and
panicked and shaking after realizing that allof these people had this packet, and
(38:19):
this packet listed out line after linethe name of the website that all of
us that were service providers used,as well as people who utilized those services,
so you had to pay for amembership. So this website is all
over this packet, and all Ican think about is anybody receiving this packet
(38:40):
is going to type in this websiteand the whole thing. It's irrefutable.
There's damning evidence. There's no wayI can deny that this is real.
And so I ended up going backto my house. I don't, like
I said, don't remember how Ieven got home. I I couldn't tell
you. I don't remember the tripat all. I ended up back in
(39:04):
my house. My daughter was atschool, and I'm alone, and the
only thing I can think is Iam so panicked and full of hysteria,
and I am just sobbing and justwhat am I going to do? Oh
my god, Oh my god,what am I going to do? What
(39:25):
am I going to do? Ohmy god, God, please please,
please, You've got to help me. And I'm just saying that my in
my head, I'm thinking my daughteris going to be so much better off
if I'm not here. There's nopossible way. How am I going to
face her? She doesn't need tobe part of this. How do I
keep this from her? How canI protect her with all of these people
(39:49):
knowing? And how am I goingto go to the local gas station?
How am I going to face anyonein this entire community? And so I
sighted that the only answer was forme to kill myself, to take myself
out, because I just couldn't livewith it. I didn't think there was
any way to live with it.So as I'm trying to open this pill
(40:15):
bottle, the bottle of the pillsjust kept flying out of my hands and
it would roll underneath the bed.It would I'd get it back of my
hands and it would roll over bythe night sound, and then I'd grab
it again, and I just couldnot get the top of this pill bottle
open. It was just the strangestthing. I'd taken these pills every night
to go to sleep. My boyfriendis walking in. He caused his parents
(40:38):
and he has them pray the Danieland the lions Den and I don't even
know what kind of pra that is. I'm not a religious person. At
that time. You have to picturethis. I'm on my bedroom floor.
I am hysterically sobbing. I'm tryingto kill myself, and all I can
say is, oh my God,Oh my God, Oh my God,
God, please help me, God, Please help me God. I don't
(40:59):
know what else to say. Idon't know who else I would call on
in that moment of desperation. Butthat's what I'm saying. So I'm saying
that again and again. And that'swhy my boyfriend says this prayer, has
this prayer said. It's basically totry and calm me down. It's the
only thing he could think of.Then he leaves, and that's when I
(41:20):
get this call, and it's thiscrazy thing that the whole website's crashed and
all of my stuff is erased.The website where Nancy had communicated with clients
displayed her photos. The entire digitaltrail of her time as a prostitute was
gone permanently. There's no way that'snot a miracle. There's no way anybody
(41:46):
nobody could tell me that's not amiracle. That was miracle. It seemed
like Nancy might be able to denythe truth without the hard digital evidence of
her secret second life. She movedon. Life continued, and along the
way, Nancy will be married atotal of five times. The fifth time
was the charm, and finally Imet the wonderful man in my dreams.
(42:10):
It's my fifth marriage. I finallyI feel like fifth is the charm.
He's my I call him my fifthand final Valentine. He's my forever Valentine.
And my daughter just absolutely adores him. He's become her dad and that
has just been such a wonderful experience. And in our new home community,
(42:31):
I've been able to return to beingan executive. But Nancy eventually grew tired
of hiding this part of her lifestory. About a year ago, God
started talking to me personally about sharingmy story and that it may help other
people. It would set other peoplefree from similar episodes of shame. Guilt
(42:55):
and fear because they think that thosethings are universal. My story my slightly
different than someone else's story, butanything that people are hiding from or feeling
that they've run from, I thinkthat this story sets people free. And
the number one reason why I'm sharingmy story through this podcast is to get
(43:16):
hope out. I think I'm ahope dealer today, and I think if
anybody could say anything about me,that'd be a great thing to be thought
of as a hope dealer. Iwanted to share the message that there's always
always hope and that no matter howfar down you might feel you are,
or how far away from hope youmight feel, believe me, there is
(43:40):
hope on the other side of whateveryour situation is. Allegedly is a production
of Voyage Media. The series isproduced by Nat Mandel, Robert Midas,
and At Benemore. This episode,A Wretch Like Me, was written,
(44:02):
directed, and produced by Dan Benemore, Executive produced by Nancy Major, based
on Nancy's book A Wretch Like Me, A Modern Day Mary Magdalen Saved by
Grace. The book is available onAmazon. A link is in the show
notes. Original music by Dirls Gonzalesedited, sound, designed and mixed by
John Higgins. If you're enjoying theshow, please leave us a five star
(44:23):
review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you'relistening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
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