June 20, 2022 • 29 mins
A woman is desperately passionate about a man that exists somewhere in the world. She knows the sound of his voice, his hands and his heart, but she doesn’t know who he really is or where he really lives. Emmy-winning actress Ann Dowd (The Handmaid's Tale) stars in this story, of a woman who may or may not be the victim of an increasingly popular crime - the romance scam.
Allegedly is a production of Voyage Media. The series is produced by Nat Mundel, Robert Mitas, and Dan Benamor, in association with Darren Marlar’s Weird Darkness. This episode, My Forever Love, was directed and produced by Dan Benamor. Written by Susan Patton. Edited by Nick Shoup. Original music by Derlis Gonzalez. Starring Ann Down, as Susan, and Jonathan Regier, as Alexander. If you’re enjoying the show, please leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you’re listening. And subscribe now for future episodes.
Allegedly is a production of Voyage Media. The series is produced by Nat Mundel, Robert Mitas, and Dan Benamor, in association with Darren Marlar’s Weird Darkness. This episode, My Forever Love, was directed and produced by Dan Benamor. Written by Susan Patton. Edited by Nick Shoup. Original music by Derlis Gonzalez. Starring Ann Down, as Susan, and Jonathan Regier, as Alexander. If you’re enjoying the show, please leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you’re listening. And subscribe now for future episodes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Voyage. I'm Darren Marler, yourhost for all Things felonious. Welcome to
allegedly. How can someone prove theirlove to you? They can say they
love you. They can write itin messages to you online hundreds of messages.
They can type all the right thingsto you. You can feel that
love in your heart. But whatif that person who seems to love you
(00:25):
suddenly wants a lot of your money. Emmy winning actress and Owd stars in
the story of a woman who mayor may not be the victim of an
increasingly popular crime, the romance scam. Listen on and decide for yourself if
the love between these two people wasreal or just digital. Wake up,
(00:52):
my angel, I'm staring at yourphoto on my phone. I fell asleep
looking at it. I went tosleep with you, and now I wake
up with you. It is myhonor to spend forever with you. I
can't leave without you, my queen. If you're looking for love, the
Internet is ready to provide it.Digital romances have become a fact of modern
(01:15):
life. But like pretty much everythingon the Internet, the ease of access
of the digital space can be positiveor negative, or maybe both at the
same time. Hi. My nameis Susan Patton. The man who wrote
that message to me is not myhusband. He sent me pictures of himself,
(01:36):
passport photo, driver's license, evena photo with him holding a note
with the date. All were doctored. The face he used belonged to a
minor celebrity from a reality show.I fell in love with him anyway.
Then money got involved. Let meback up a second. I can remember
(01:59):
it was a specific day when Irealized I was emotionally in trouble. It
was a Wednesday in July of twentytwenty seven months into the pandemic. I
was sweating in my little art studio, sweat rolling down my face. Canvases
all around me, some finished,some unfinished. Suddenly I was overcome with
(02:20):
darkness. That's the only way Ican think to describe it, Like a
dark cloud. I wanted to curlup in a corner. I was numb.
I couldn't talk to my husband aboutthis sort of thing. I'm in
my seventies. I thought something likethis, just busting out into tears should
have been something of the past.Now I was just honestly, really lonely.
(02:45):
I was desperately lonely for me,loneliness has always been a part of
my life. As a four yearold child, I was left alone with
my sister six years old a lot. My parents divorced, and our mother
had to go to work six daysand two nights a week. The nights
were the loneliest. We've learned tofix our own meals, get ourselves ready
(03:07):
for bed, all of those thingskids need and want a mommy or a
daddy to help you with. Wewanted mommy to be there reading us bedtime
stories like she did before the divorce. She wanted to too, but it
was what it was, and shehad to work. I remember the nights,
especially when a storm would be ragingoutside. My sister and I would
(03:28):
look out the windows of our apartmentand wonder if we were going to die
that night. When you're that small, it feels real. It felt like
the storm might just take us.My older sister would take my hand and
we'd get our pillows in our blanketsand we'd crawl under a table and we'd
hold on to each other until wefell asleep. That fear went away as
I got older, but the lonelinessnever did. When I step out of
(03:53):
my art studio, I see myhusband sitting where we always sits. Day
after a day, he says allhe needs of books, his TV and
his wine. He's right, hehas no friends, no desire to go
any place. He definitely isn't thepeople person. Every afternoon the wine comes
out. By night he's drunk,and if I'm not home, he is
(04:15):
even more drunk. Hey, look, don't get me wrong here. He's
a nice guy. He's a goodhusband in many ways, takes care of
my needs shelter, food, healthcare, and he knows his drinking is a
problem, but he doesn't want toor maybe he can't stop. While he's
reading or watching TV and drinking.That dark cloud is getting bigger. I
(04:35):
start to think of ways to killmyself a lot. I knew I wouldn't
do anything because I couldn't leave mydog. We are constant companions. We
go walking every morning and in theearly evenings, and that's when I see
couples walking hand in hand. Theysay hi. One evening, this couple
(04:58):
sees me and tells me they're walkingto a local cafe for a glass of
wine and to watch the sunset.That just made the loneliness and the darkness
worse. There's just no denying it. I long for a male companion that
wants to walk with me in theevenings, hold hands with me, someone
that reaches over to give me asweet kiss, just to say I love
you. And you know what else? I want sex? Yeah, I
(05:28):
want sex. I want to havehot, sweaty sex. My husband hasn't
wanted to have sex in years.The pandemic didn't cause all this, It
just made it more undeniable. Mydepression isn't simply a result of the pandemic.
These problems have existed in our marriagefor years. You might ask,
(05:48):
well, why didn't you leave him? Then? Money, guilt, fear,
take your pick. So Susan didwhat millions of peop will do online
every day. She went on socialmedia. One afternoon, I was on
my social media account and I seea friend request I'm of a very handsome
(06:09):
man with a foreign name. Ithought twice about it, and then I
said to myself, Ah, whatthe heck. If he becomes a problem,
I could just block him. Septembereleventh, twenty twenty, that was
the click that changed my life.The next eighteen months, my mystery man
who told me his name was AlexanderSmith from Florida lavished me with romance and
(06:33):
passion and injurgue and suspense and heartbreak. I thought they was happy in my
life. But now that I knowyou, I understand life can be so
much more. You are the personI was supposed to meet. I just
prayed that I can be enough toearn your life. I would do anything
(06:55):
for you. Wake up, mybeauty, wake up my view. You
can't keep your talent hidden from theworld any longer. I know you're going
to have a wonderful day today.I wish you all the best. I
love you so much, baby.I can't sleep at night thinking about you.
(07:15):
I really loved my wife, butit was nothing like the love I
feel for you. I've never knownsuch love in my life. You are
my everything. You are the breaththat keeps me alive. I can never
live without you. Queen, mysweetheart. We chatted NonStop all day.
We talked on the phone. Hefilled my life with hope. Our lives
(07:40):
became intermingled. If I was outchopping with my sister or my husband,
I would go to the bathroom tosneak a message to him. Beginning of
October, he told me he couldhardly work because all he could think about
was me. If I'm being honest, I was just as absorbed with him.
Then the middle of that October,I was watching TV and I saw
(08:01):
his face. I searched online andeasily found all the pictures he'd sent me,
supposedly of himself. I confronted him. He insisted they were pictures of
him, and that he hadn't createdhis social media page a man that worked
for him did. I begged himto prove that he was real, so
(08:22):
he sent me pictures like hostages doholding up a newspaper with that day's date,
man holding a note that had thedate and had said he was real
and I should trust him. Andhe still had the face on it of
some man who obviously is a celebrity, a reality personality, and definitely not
him, not his name, nothis background. So I knew, obviously
(08:46):
he's lying to me, but Icouldn't let him go. I knew if
I did, I'd be alone again, and I love mysteries, intrigue,
and all of this made me evenmore curious as to who he really was.
While all of this was going on, even though my husband was physically
(09:07):
close by our worlds were becoming moreand more separate. I could feel he
said something was happening because I wasalways in my art studio or out walking.
My husband knew not to ask questionsyou don't want the answer to,
and I kept on like that everymorning. Each morning I cry out to
(09:30):
God with gratitude, May today beyour best day. Yet every day is
better than the last. Now inmy life because you are part of it.
If I were a poet, Icouldn't do justice to how I feel
about you. I no longer walkedalone in the evenings with my dog.
Alexander and I chatted almost every evening. He told me he wanted to hold
(09:52):
my hand and he wanted to watchthe sunset with me. I had my
companion. Even though I had noidea where he real he was or who
he really was. He would sendme loving messages in the middle of the
night. I began to beg himto meet me somewhere anywhere. I had
to know who he was really.He sent me a driver's license, a
(10:13):
passport, and employee ID. Eachdocument had a different birth date. Each
document was clearly altered and had theexact same picture of the celebrity on it.
I know part of it was theintrigue of who he really was.
He gave me an adventure. Wetalked about so many personal things. I
told him my deepest, darkest feelings, things about my life that I have
(10:39):
rarely told anyone, including my husband. We talked about cooking. We both
liked to cook. We talked abouthis daughter. He wanted me to help
him make his daughter a strong andindependent woman. He said he just wanted
to be with me, to hugme and never let anyone hurt me again.
It was so sweet and gentle withhis word. Finally, he agreed
(11:01):
we should meet. In order forhim to leave the RIEKIE was working on,
I needed to request vacation for him. I know how this sounds.
He gave me the name and theemail of a man that worked in the
legal department for the company he workedfor. He said to request two weeks,
then he would figure out where tomeet. I sent the email.
(11:24):
Took a few days for the manto respond. He said he had to
do an inspection before releasing Alexander forvacation. Supposedly, Alexander was the chief
engineer of this platform. A coupledays later, I got an email back.
The vacation was denied. There werethree machines that needed immediate repair.
As soon as these machines were repaired, Alexander could have his two weeks.
(11:48):
He called me. He said allI had to do was send sixty five
thousand dollars. I yelled at him. I told him it was a scam
and he just wanted money. Allnight, he kept sending me messages,
begging me to believe how much heloved me. Susan, I'm not the
fool. I don't want your money. I don't want to make you said,
(12:11):
All I ever want in this lifeis to make you the happiest woman
on earth. Don't you want usto be together? I was heartbroken,
both with this confirmation that he wasscamming me and the disappointment the loss of
hope. As throughout the eighteen months, I just wanted to believe in him.
(12:31):
I ignored his messages, but Istill couldn't let him go. I
decided to play his game. Itold him I was applying for a loan.
This was not true. I toldhim the loan had been denied because
I didn't make enough money. ThenI told him I could get the money
if he co signed the loan,or he should go online and apply for
(12:52):
the loan himself. Of course,he couldn't do either of those things.
He just couldn't put his private informationout on the internet. That was his
excuse. We didn't talk for separatedays, and I missed him so much.
It was this push and pull thatcontinued for the next twelve months.
I knew I had to let himgo. Sweetheart, your birthday is coming
(13:18):
off. I want so badly tobe there to celebrate with you. I
want to take you to a fancierrestaurant, drink champagne, and then go
dancing. And when we dance,I want to hold you so close and
so tightly to never let you go. I can feel the warmth of our
bodies slowly moving together across the dancefloor. Your soulmates, my love,
(13:41):
my life. We can never leaveeach other. I love you beyond your
understanding. Then, on my birthday, he sent me a picture, again
had the fake face, and againwith a letter with the date, as
if that meant he was real.He continued to beg me to send him
the money. He always had verycreative reasons. I continued to tell him
(14:05):
to take out a loan himself.He continued to tell me how much he
loved me. I was struggling somuch with a deception with my husband.
I knew, no matter what,he didn't deserve this, but I just
couldn't give up my secret world,my world with Alexander. I couldn't go
back to just watching my husband sittingin the same place every day and night.
(14:26):
My husband had his own separate world, a world with his drinking.
Alexander messaged me he had just foundout a payment for a job he did
in China was cleared and ready forthe delivery. He had authorized the man
and his company that handled things likethis to deliver the package to me.
(14:46):
The job had been finished a fewyears ago, but there was a contract
dispute the delayed payment. He gaveme the name and email of another man
to contact. I emailed that man. He responded he would arrange for immediate
delivery upon receipt of six thousand topay for the delivery that was coming from
China. He said it was soexpensive because a Chinese diplomat and a security
(15:09):
guard had to be paid. Again. Obviously, I know how all this
sounds. The packet supposedly contained twopoint five million dollars. I told Alexander
I didn't have six thousand. Hekept saying, if I loved him so
much, why didn't I trust himenough to send the six thousand. After
(15:30):
a lot of arguing, I hateto say it, I did it.
I took out cash advances on severalcredit cards. Each time I went to
a bank to get more money,I got sick. Just the thought of
doing this truly made me physically sick. It was the deception and the fact
I really couldn't afford to be takingout all these cash advances. Paintings weren't
(15:52):
selling. I was living on mysocial security. I wanted to believe in
him so badly promised me I couldkeep thirty percent of the money to do
whatever I wanted to do. Iwas always telling him I didn't have enough
money to handle the expenses of painting, galleries, bees, etc. He
didn't want me to have to struggleor worry. Ever again, I had
(16:15):
to go to several bitcoin machines becauseof the limits they had on each machine.
I was learning the ins and outsof bitcoin too. Finally, the
six thousand was sent. The deliveryhad commenced and the package would be to
me within a week. Then guesswhat. Of course, the courier had
been detained in Austria for transporting toomuch cash. Supposedly they had X rayed
(16:41):
the package and could tell there wasa lot of cash in the package.
Ultimately, he wanted twenty thousand.Suddenly it wasn't so romantic after everything I've
done for you. You are selfcentered and materialistic. Oh you care about
his money? If you love me, why won't just send the money.
You'd take advantage of my love.Farewell, Susan. Several days, maybe
(17:07):
a couple of weeks went by,when suddenly he contacted me again. It
was as though nothing had happened.He contacted me again, all excited.
This time, the company he workedfor had issued COVID bonuses. He was
supposed to receive one hundred and fortythousand for keeping his crew safe and working
throughout the pandemic. He told methat a man that worked for his company,
(17:30):
a mister Clancy, really wanted tohelp us and to send the bonuses
directly to me. That way Icould pay the sixty five thousand and the
twenty thousand and keep the rest formyself. Alexander told him I was his
wife, but because we weren't actuallymarried, he couldn't send a check directly
to me. Mister Clancy said hewould deposit Alexander's money into his personal account
(17:53):
and then send me a check forit. But to do this, he
wanted payment for his trouble. Hewanted two thousand, eight hundred dollars sent
to him through bitcoin. It's nosense, I know, I refused.
I told Alexander no more money wasgoing into the black hole known as bitcoin,
we argued. Finally, I wasgiven the name, address and bank
(18:17):
account of his dear friend in Texas. I could transfer the money from my
account directly into her account. Shewould forward it to mister Clancy. I
hesitated again, and then finally borrowedanother two thousand, eight hundred dollars and
made the transfer. It's easy tothink this kind of thing couldn't happen to
(18:40):
you, but it happens to peopleall the time. The FBI concluded romance
scammers con Americans out of a billiondollars in twenty twenty one. Guess what
age bracket reported the highest losses thoseaged seventy and up. Cryptocurrency fraud is
an increasing element of these scams aswell. Reported romance scams rose eighty percent
in twenty one according to the FederalTrade Commission. Over the last five years,
(19:03):
no other fraud category has caused higherlosses. Something else that was in
the FTC information. Speaking of thescammers, quote, the details they share
about themselves will always include built inexcuses for not meeting in person. For
example, many reportedly claimed to beserving overseas in the military or working on
an offshore or rig end quote.This happens to thousands and thousands of people
(19:25):
every single year. The FBI reportspecified that quote. The bad actors are
known to target women over age fortywho are widowed, divorced, elderly,
and or disabled. End quote.The report also noted that quote. To
avoid meeting in person, romance scammersoften claim to live or work in other
parts of the country or world.The check for one hundred and forty thousand
(19:48):
was to arrive on Monday, Augustninth, twenty one. Monday came and
went. Where it goes from here. It's honestly so crazy. I don't
even want to explain it. Ithink part of the scam is to make
things so confusing. You don't knowwhat to think. Apparently another dear friend,
(20:11):
a mister Sheldon, now had themoney and contacted Alexander, saying that
he had accidentally deposited the check inan old account that he hadn't used in
a long time, and there wereback fees and other issues that would cost
four thousand dollars to be paid beforethey would release the money to him.
That's not how banks work. Iknow that Alexander begged me to send the
(20:33):
four thousand. We argue again forweeks until and I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but it happened. I borrowed anotherfour thousand dollars. This other friend
of Alexander's insisted the money be sentas cash to a woman in Virginia.
I gathered the cash and slipped tomail the cash, hiding it in books
(20:55):
so no one could see how muchcash was in there. Again, the
us of the deception about what Iwas doing and where I was going was
really bothering me. I was gettingsick every time I did these crazy things.
Next, I received a message fromAlexander saying the bank consisted. I
opened an account at their branch forthem to release the money to me.
It had to be a corporate account, and to open this account, I
(21:18):
was to send another fifteen thousand incash to the same woman at the same
address. Then they would send mea debit card and I could take out
as much money as I needed wheneverI needed money. It was enough,
even in my state at the time. I knew how ridiculous this was getting.
I told Alexander there would be nomore money for anything. I had
(21:41):
been foolish enough and was now sofar in debt I could barely make the
payments on the money I borrowed.He refused to believe I didn't have any
money, and how could I lovehim so much and not help him.
He would pay me back as soonas he got back to the States.
We fought about my refusal to sendmoney up until the end. Yet through
it all he continued to tell mehow much he loved me. I was
(22:04):
what kept him alive and all thatsort of thing. I knew his hands
from the pictures he sent me holdingdocuments. I knew the sound of his
voice from talking on the phone,and his heart, but I had no
idea who he really was or wherehe really was. For eighteen months,
He was my life, my love, and my anguish, my love.
(22:30):
I want to give you slow,sensual kisses every morning and every night.
These are the kinds of words thatstole my heart. This is the kind
of passion my heart was so thirstyfor. Yeah, they were demands for
money, six thousand this, fourthousand for that, But it was just
(22:51):
money. Yes, I sent themoney, but my heart needed this passion
more than it needed the money.My heart didn't need the money to sustain
life. My heart needed to feela heartbeat to sustain life. I had
never felt this kind of passion andyes, love, in so many years.
I just didn't want it to end. I was alive again. I
(23:15):
felt sexy again. And at thesame time as I felt so close to
him, he remained unknowable to me. I couldn't go see him in person.
I couldn't look in his eyes.There's something else you need to know.
His name how he appeared on socialmedia. It was a foreign name,
and from the beginning, my intuitionsaid he had a Russian connection.
(23:37):
I'm an intuitive person. I canfeel things about people, and I was
certain he was somehow connected to Russia. I searched online for Eastern Bloc alphabets.
The alphabet used for his social mediapage wasn't Russian. I kept researching.
Voila, it was Ukrainian. Yeah, it was another lie, but
(24:00):
it only made me more curious.Who was this man? Where was he
actually living? There had been otherindications he was Ukrainian like he loved pictures
of me with my head covered.He always talked about wanting a woman with
a heart of gold. He saidhe could see our shoes next to each
(24:21):
other's in the cubby by the frontdoor. His colloquialisms were foreign. He
spoke English quite well, but oftendidn't know the meaning of common words.
In February of twenty twenty two,I received a last message from Alexander.
Forgive me, please. I'm desperateto hold you. It's not possible for
(24:44):
me to forget you. Nothing willever make me not love you. We
will be together. We won't argueanymore. God wants us to be together.
God is merciful. No, youcan meet too. We're meant to
be together, Susan. I willtreasure you until the day I die.
(25:04):
No one has ever taken care ofme the way you do. I love
you. In February of twenty twentytwo, Russia invaded the Ukraine. I
haven't heard from Alexander since. Withall the trouble, with all the heartache,
(25:26):
he will always hold a place inmy heart. It's clear from Sciss's
account that there was true romantic lovehere. Is it possible Alexander felt it
too? Could all of his kindwords have been just part of an elaborate
charade or their true feelings On bothsides of this relationship, he made me
(25:48):
feel again. He made me wantto get up in the morning. He
also he helped my marriage. Onone occasion, my husband read a text
message sent to me that was obviouslya love note, calling me sweetheart,
the way Alexander would write to me. Since the call came through an Internet
app, there was no phone number, I just passed it off as a
(26:10):
call where I had no idea whoit was from. Then Alexander got drunk
and madled me a postcard. Ithad a picture of him and me next
to each other and read how muchhe loved me and how he wanted us
to be together for the rest ofour lives. Again, I just passed
it off as some nut. Thepicture came from my public photos on social
(26:30):
media. I also had previously hadtwo stalkers on social media that my husband
was aware of, so it wasplausible. Then something I didn't expect happened.
My husband decided to give up drinking. I feel it may have been
related to him realizing he could beon the verge of losing me. I've
always told him I would not spendthe last good days of my life with
(26:53):
a drunk. He knew in hisheart something was going on. Losing me
was not something he wanted. Sincethen, he now wants to go places
with me. We even took aroad trip. He would never have done
that before. He helps me withmy art projects. We even went out
on a Saturday night recently. Iknow he has a good heart and he
(27:17):
loves me. I realize I justhave to help him understand what my needs
are. I am back to noromance, no passion, and walking alone
in the evenings. I miss mywalking companion. I miss the good night
kisses, even if they were probablysent from across the world, and the
hope that someday he would actually cometo see me. If he called me
(27:41):
today and wanted to meet, Iwould not hesitate, but I would jump
on the first plane to go whereverhe wanted to meet. Not because I
still love him, because I justwant to know the truth. We have
a confession to make. Susan isnot her real name. In fact,
the voice you've heard isn't from theperson who experience this story. The voice
you've heard is the incredible Emmy winningactress and doubt who we may know from
(28:04):
The Handmaid's Tale, The Leftovers,and many other TV shows and movies.
The real Susan's husband still doesn't knowabout all of this. Alexander is not
the name the man told her either, which you've heard just now are a
real woman's written account of her experiencewith an online scammer. Alexander's messages aren't
real either. We wrote them,but modeled them on the style he would
write to Susan. We've reviewed thephotos she references in the story, as
(28:26):
well as correspondence with this man,dozens of pages of it, pulled from
their conversations over social media to corroboratemost of her claims of their interactions,
including numerous requests for money to besent. But the voice you heard in
the names you've heard were invented forthis episode to maintain the real Susan's privacy.
So in a way, I supposewe've catfished you, our listener.
(28:47):
We're sorry about that, but maybeit's a reminder of how easy it is
to believe something is real just becausewe're told it is. As for Susan,
she thought Alexander might have died inthe Russian invasion of the Ukraine,
but sure enough, a few weeksago he messaged her again. Maybe the
story is not over yet. Allegedlyis a production of Voyage Media. The
(29:12):
series is produced by nat Mondel,Robert Midas, and Dan Bennimore in association
with Darren Marlar's Weird Darkness. Thisepisode, My Forever Love, was directed
and produced by Dan Bennimore, writtenby Susan Patton, edited by Nick Schoup,
original music by Derlas Gonzalez. StarringAnne Dowd as Susan and Jonathan Roggier
as Alexander. If you're enjoying theshow, please give us a five star
(29:36):
review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you'relistening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
Voyage. I'm Darren Marler, yourhost for all Things felonious. Welcome to
allegedly. How can someone prove theirlove to you? They can say they
love you. They can write itin messages to you online hundreds of messages.
They can type all the right thingsto you. You can feel that
love in your heart. But whatif that person who seems to love you
(00:25):
suddenly wants a lot of your money. Emmy winning actress and Owd stars in
the story of a woman who mayor may not be the victim of an
increasingly popular crime, the romance scam. Listen on and decide for yourself if
the love between these two people wasreal or just digital. Wake up,
(00:52):
my angel, I'm staring at yourphoto on my phone. I fell asleep
looking at it. I went tosleep with you, and now I wake
up with you. It is myhonor to spend forever with you. I
can't leave without you, my queen. If you're looking for love, the
Internet is ready to provide it.Digital romances have become a fact of modern
(01:15):
life. But like pretty much everythingon the Internet, the ease of access
of the digital space can be positiveor negative, or maybe both at the
same time. Hi. My nameis Susan Patton. The man who wrote
that message to me is not myhusband. He sent me pictures of himself,
(01:36):
passport photo, driver's license, evena photo with him holding a note
with the date. All were doctored. The face he used belonged to a
minor celebrity from a reality show.I fell in love with him anyway.
Then money got involved. Let meback up a second. I can remember
(01:59):
it was a specific day when Irealized I was emotionally in trouble. It
was a Wednesday in July of twentytwenty seven months into the pandemic. I
was sweating in my little art studio, sweat rolling down my face. Canvases
all around me, some finished,some unfinished. Suddenly I was overcome with
(02:20):
darkness. That's the only way Ican think to describe it, Like a
dark cloud. I wanted to curlup in a corner. I was numb.
I couldn't talk to my husband aboutthis sort of thing. I'm in
my seventies. I thought something likethis, just busting out into tears should
have been something of the past.Now I was just honestly, really lonely.
(02:45):
I was desperately lonely for me,loneliness has always been a part of
my life. As a four yearold child, I was left alone with
my sister six years old a lot. My parents divorced, and our mother
had to go to work six daysand two nights a week. The nights
were the loneliest. We've learned tofix our own meals, get ourselves ready
(03:07):
for bed, all of those thingskids need and want a mommy or a
daddy to help you with. Wewanted mommy to be there reading us bedtime
stories like she did before the divorce. She wanted to too, but it
was what it was, and shehad to work. I remember the nights,
especially when a storm would be ragingoutside. My sister and I would
(03:28):
look out the windows of our apartmentand wonder if we were going to die
that night. When you're that small, it feels real. It felt like
the storm might just take us.My older sister would take my hand and
we'd get our pillows in our blanketsand we'd crawl under a table and we'd
hold on to each other until wefell asleep. That fear went away as
I got older, but the lonelinessnever did. When I step out of
(03:53):
my art studio, I see myhusband sitting where we always sits. Day
after a day, he says allhe needs of books, his TV and
his wine. He's right, hehas no friends, no desire to go
any place. He definitely isn't thepeople person. Every afternoon the wine comes
out. By night he's drunk,and if I'm not home, he is
(04:15):
even more drunk. Hey, look, don't get me wrong here. He's
a nice guy. He's a goodhusband in many ways, takes care of
my needs shelter, food, healthcare, and he knows his drinking is a
problem, but he doesn't want toor maybe he can't stop. While he's
reading or watching TV and drinking.That dark cloud is getting bigger. I
(04:35):
start to think of ways to killmyself a lot. I knew I wouldn't
do anything because I couldn't leave mydog. We are constant companions. We
go walking every morning and in theearly evenings, and that's when I see
couples walking hand in hand. Theysay hi. One evening, this couple
(04:58):
sees me and tells me they're walkingto a local cafe for a glass of
wine and to watch the sunset.That just made the loneliness and the darkness
worse. There's just no denying it. I long for a male companion that
wants to walk with me in theevenings, hold hands with me, someone
that reaches over to give me asweet kiss, just to say I love
you. And you know what else? I want sex? Yeah, I
(05:28):
want sex. I want to havehot, sweaty sex. My husband hasn't
wanted to have sex in years.The pandemic didn't cause all this, It
just made it more undeniable. Mydepression isn't simply a result of the pandemic.
These problems have existed in our marriagefor years. You might ask,
(05:48):
well, why didn't you leave him? Then? Money, guilt, fear,
take your pick. So Susan didwhat millions of peop will do online
every day. She went on socialmedia. One afternoon, I was on
my social media account and I seea friend request I'm of a very handsome
(06:09):
man with a foreign name. Ithought twice about it, and then I
said to myself, Ah, whatthe heck. If he becomes a problem,
I could just block him. Septembereleventh, twenty twenty, that was
the click that changed my life.The next eighteen months, my mystery man
who told me his name was AlexanderSmith from Florida lavished me with romance and
(06:33):
passion and injurgue and suspense and heartbreak. I thought they was happy in my
life. But now that I knowyou, I understand life can be so
much more. You are the personI was supposed to meet. I just
prayed that I can be enough toearn your life. I would do anything
(06:55):
for you. Wake up, mybeauty, wake up my view. You
can't keep your talent hidden from theworld any longer. I know you're going
to have a wonderful day today.I wish you all the best. I
love you so much, baby.I can't sleep at night thinking about you.
(07:15):
I really loved my wife, butit was nothing like the love I
feel for you. I've never knownsuch love in my life. You are
my everything. You are the breaththat keeps me alive. I can never
live without you. Queen, mysweetheart. We chatted NonStop all day.
We talked on the phone. Hefilled my life with hope. Our lives
(07:40):
became intermingled. If I was outchopping with my sister or my husband,
I would go to the bathroom tosneak a message to him. Beginning of
October, he told me he couldhardly work because all he could think about
was me. If I'm being honest, I was just as absorbed with him.
Then the middle of that October,I was watching TV and I saw
(08:01):
his face. I searched online andeasily found all the pictures he'd sent me,
supposedly of himself. I confronted him. He insisted they were pictures of
him, and that he hadn't createdhis social media page a man that worked
for him did. I begged himto prove that he was real, so
(08:22):
he sent me pictures like hostages doholding up a newspaper with that day's date,
man holding a note that had thedate and had said he was real
and I should trust him. Andhe still had the face on it of
some man who obviously is a celebrity, a reality personality, and definitely not
him, not his name, nothis background. So I knew, obviously
(08:46):
he's lying to me, but Icouldn't let him go. I knew if
I did, I'd be alone again, and I love mysteries, intrigue,
and all of this made me evenmore curious as to who he really was.
While all of this was going on, even though my husband was physically
(09:07):
close by our worlds were becoming moreand more separate. I could feel he
said something was happening because I wasalways in my art studio or out walking.
My husband knew not to ask questionsyou don't want the answer to,
and I kept on like that everymorning. Each morning I cry out to
(09:30):
God with gratitude, May today beyour best day. Yet every day is
better than the last. Now inmy life because you are part of it.
If I were a poet, Icouldn't do justice to how I feel
about you. I no longer walkedalone in the evenings with my dog.
Alexander and I chatted almost every evening. He told me he wanted to hold
(09:52):
my hand and he wanted to watchthe sunset with me. I had my
companion. Even though I had noidea where he real he was or who
he really was. He would sendme loving messages in the middle of the
night. I began to beg himto meet me somewhere anywhere. I had
to know who he was really.He sent me a driver's license, a
(10:13):
passport, and employee ID. Eachdocument had a different birth date. Each
document was clearly altered and had theexact same picture of the celebrity on it.
I know part of it was theintrigue of who he really was.
He gave me an adventure. Wetalked about so many personal things. I
told him my deepest, darkest feelings, things about my life that I have
(10:39):
rarely told anyone, including my husband. We talked about cooking. We both
liked to cook. We talked abouthis daughter. He wanted me to help
him make his daughter a strong andindependent woman. He said he just wanted
to be with me, to hugme and never let anyone hurt me again.
It was so sweet and gentle withhis word. Finally, he agreed
(11:01):
we should meet. In order forhim to leave the RIEKIE was working on,
I needed to request vacation for him. I know how this sounds.
He gave me the name and theemail of a man that worked in the
legal department for the company he workedfor. He said to request two weeks,
then he would figure out where tomeet. I sent the email.
(11:24):
Took a few days for the manto respond. He said he had to
do an inspection before releasing Alexander forvacation. Supposedly, Alexander was the chief
engineer of this platform. A coupledays later, I got an email back.
The vacation was denied. There werethree machines that needed immediate repair.
As soon as these machines were repaired, Alexander could have his two weeks.
(11:48):
He called me. He said allI had to do was send sixty five
thousand dollars. I yelled at him. I told him it was a scam
and he just wanted money. Allnight, he kept sending me messages,
begging me to believe how much heloved me. Susan, I'm not the
fool. I don't want your money. I don't want to make you said,
(12:11):
All I ever want in this lifeis to make you the happiest woman
on earth. Don't you want usto be together? I was heartbroken,
both with this confirmation that he wasscamming me and the disappointment the loss of
hope. As throughout the eighteen months, I just wanted to believe in him.
(12:31):
I ignored his messages, but Istill couldn't let him go. I
decided to play his game. Itold him I was applying for a loan.
This was not true. I toldhim the loan had been denied because
I didn't make enough money. ThenI told him I could get the money
if he co signed the loan,or he should go online and apply for
(12:52):
the loan himself. Of course,he couldn't do either of those things.
He just couldn't put his private informationout on the internet. That was his
excuse. We didn't talk for separatedays, and I missed him so much.
It was this push and pull thatcontinued for the next twelve months.
I knew I had to let himgo. Sweetheart, your birthday is coming
(13:18):
off. I want so badly tobe there to celebrate with you. I
want to take you to a fancierrestaurant, drink champagne, and then go
dancing. And when we dance,I want to hold you so close and
so tightly to never let you go. I can feel the warmth of our
bodies slowly moving together across the dancefloor. Your soulmates, my love,
(13:41):
my life. We can never leaveeach other. I love you beyond your
understanding. Then, on my birthday, he sent me a picture, again
had the fake face, and againwith a letter with the date, as
if that meant he was real.He continued to beg me to send him
the money. He always had verycreative reasons. I continued to tell him
(14:05):
to take out a loan himself.He continued to tell me how much he
loved me. I was struggling somuch with a deception with my husband.
I knew, no matter what,he didn't deserve this, but I just
couldn't give up my secret world,my world with Alexander. I couldn't go
back to just watching my husband sittingin the same place every day and night.
(14:26):
My husband had his own separate world, a world with his drinking.
Alexander messaged me he had just foundout a payment for a job he did
in China was cleared and ready forthe delivery. He had authorized the man
and his company that handled things likethis to deliver the package to me.
(14:46):
The job had been finished a fewyears ago, but there was a contract
dispute the delayed payment. He gaveme the name and email of another man
to contact. I emailed that man. He responded he would arrange for immediate
delivery upon receipt of six thousand topay for the delivery that was coming from
China. He said it was soexpensive because a Chinese diplomat and a security
(15:09):
guard had to be paid. Again. Obviously, I know how all this
sounds. The packet supposedly contained twopoint five million dollars. I told Alexander
I didn't have six thousand. Hekept saying, if I loved him so
much, why didn't I trust himenough to send the six thousand. After
(15:30):
a lot of arguing, I hateto say it, I did it.
I took out cash advances on severalcredit cards. Each time I went to
a bank to get more money,I got sick. Just the thought of
doing this truly made me physically sick. It was the deception and the fact
I really couldn't afford to be takingout all these cash advances. Paintings weren't
(15:52):
selling. I was living on mysocial security. I wanted to believe in
him so badly promised me I couldkeep thirty percent of the money to do
whatever I wanted to do. Iwas always telling him I didn't have enough
money to handle the expenses of painting, galleries, bees, etc. He
didn't want me to have to struggleor worry. Ever again, I had
(16:15):
to go to several bitcoin machines becauseof the limits they had on each machine.
I was learning the ins and outsof bitcoin too. Finally, the
six thousand was sent. The deliveryhad commenced and the package would be to
me within a week. Then guesswhat. Of course, the courier had
been detained in Austria for transporting toomuch cash. Supposedly they had X rayed
(16:41):
the package and could tell there wasa lot of cash in the package.
Ultimately, he wanted twenty thousand.Suddenly it wasn't so romantic after everything I've
done for you. You are selfcentered and materialistic. Oh you care about
his money? If you love me, why won't just send the money.
You'd take advantage of my love.Farewell, Susan. Several days, maybe
(17:07):
a couple of weeks went by,when suddenly he contacted me again. It
was as though nothing had happened.He contacted me again, all excited.
This time, the company he workedfor had issued COVID bonuses. He was
supposed to receive one hundred and fortythousand for keeping his crew safe and working
throughout the pandemic. He told methat a man that worked for his company,
(17:30):
a mister Clancy, really wanted tohelp us and to send the bonuses
directly to me. That way Icould pay the sixty five thousand and the
twenty thousand and keep the rest formyself. Alexander told him I was his
wife, but because we weren't actuallymarried, he couldn't send a check directly
to me. Mister Clancy said hewould deposit Alexander's money into his personal account
(17:53):
and then send me a check forit. But to do this, he
wanted payment for his trouble. Hewanted two thousand, eight hundred dollars sent
to him through bitcoin. It's nosense, I know, I refused.
I told Alexander no more money wasgoing into the black hole known as bitcoin,
we argued. Finally, I wasgiven the name, address and bank
(18:17):
account of his dear friend in Texas. I could transfer the money from my
account directly into her account. Shewould forward it to mister Clancy. I
hesitated again, and then finally borrowedanother two thousand, eight hundred dollars and
made the transfer. It's easy tothink this kind of thing couldn't happen to
(18:40):
you, but it happens to peopleall the time. The FBI concluded romance
scammers con Americans out of a billiondollars in twenty twenty one. Guess what
age bracket reported the highest losses thoseaged seventy and up. Cryptocurrency fraud is
an increasing element of these scams aswell. Reported romance scams rose eighty percent
in twenty one according to the FederalTrade Commission. Over the last five years,
(19:03):
no other fraud category has caused higherlosses. Something else that was in
the FTC information. Speaking of thescammers, quote, the details they share
about themselves will always include built inexcuses for not meeting in person. For
example, many reportedly claimed to beserving overseas in the military or working on
an offshore or rig end quote.This happens to thousands and thousands of people
(19:25):
every single year. The FBI reportspecified that quote. The bad actors are
known to target women over age fortywho are widowed, divorced, elderly,
and or disabled. End quote.The report also noted that quote. To
avoid meeting in person, romance scammersoften claim to live or work in other
parts of the country or world.The check for one hundred and forty thousand
(19:48):
was to arrive on Monday, Augustninth, twenty one. Monday came and
went. Where it goes from here. It's honestly so crazy. I don't
even want to explain it. Ithink part of the scam is to make
things so confusing. You don't knowwhat to think. Apparently another dear friend,
(20:11):
a mister Sheldon, now had themoney and contacted Alexander, saying that
he had accidentally deposited the check inan old account that he hadn't used in
a long time, and there wereback fees and other issues that would cost
four thousand dollars to be paid beforethey would release the money to him.
That's not how banks work. Iknow that Alexander begged me to send the
(20:33):
four thousand. We argue again forweeks until and I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but it happened. I borrowed anotherfour thousand dollars. This other friend
of Alexander's insisted the money be sentas cash to a woman in Virginia.
I gathered the cash and slipped tomail the cash, hiding it in books
(20:55):
so no one could see how muchcash was in there. Again, the
us of the deception about what Iwas doing and where I was going was
really bothering me. I was gettingsick every time I did these crazy things.
Next, I received a message fromAlexander saying the bank consisted. I
opened an account at their branch forthem to release the money to me.
It had to be a corporate account, and to open this account, I
(21:18):
was to send another fifteen thousand incash to the same woman at the same
address. Then they would send mea debit card and I could take out
as much money as I needed wheneverI needed money. It was enough,
even in my state at the time. I knew how ridiculous this was getting.
I told Alexander there would be nomore money for anything. I had
(21:41):
been foolish enough and was now sofar in debt I could barely make the
payments on the money I borrowed.He refused to believe I didn't have any
money, and how could I lovehim so much and not help him.
He would pay me back as soonas he got back to the States.
We fought about my refusal to sendmoney up until the end. Yet through
it all he continued to tell mehow much he loved me. I was
(22:04):
what kept him alive and all thatsort of thing. I knew his hands
from the pictures he sent me holdingdocuments. I knew the sound of his
voice from talking on the phone,and his heart, but I had no
idea who he really was or wherehe really was. For eighteen months,
He was my life, my love, and my anguish, my love.
(22:30):
I want to give you slow,sensual kisses every morning and every night.
These are the kinds of words thatstole my heart. This is the kind
of passion my heart was so thirstyfor. Yeah, they were demands for
money, six thousand this, fourthousand for that, But it was just
(22:51):
money. Yes, I sent themoney, but my heart needed this passion
more than it needed the money.My heart didn't need the money to sustain
life. My heart needed to feela heartbeat to sustain life. I had
never felt this kind of passion andyes, love, in so many years.
I just didn't want it to end. I was alive again. I
(23:15):
felt sexy again. And at thesame time as I felt so close to
him, he remained unknowable to me. I couldn't go see him in person.
I couldn't look in his eyes.There's something else you need to know.
His name how he appeared on socialmedia. It was a foreign name,
and from the beginning, my intuitionsaid he had a Russian connection.
(23:37):
I'm an intuitive person. I canfeel things about people, and I was
certain he was somehow connected to Russia. I searched online for Eastern Bloc alphabets.
The alphabet used for his social mediapage wasn't Russian. I kept researching.
Voila, it was Ukrainian. Yeah, it was another lie, but
(24:00):
it only made me more curious.Who was this man? Where was he
actually living? There had been otherindications he was Ukrainian like he loved pictures
of me with my head covered.He always talked about wanting a woman with
a heart of gold. He saidhe could see our shoes next to each
(24:21):
other's in the cubby by the frontdoor. His colloquialisms were foreign. He
spoke English quite well, but oftendidn't know the meaning of common words.
In February of twenty twenty two,I received a last message from Alexander.
Forgive me, please. I'm desperateto hold you. It's not possible for
(24:44):
me to forget you. Nothing willever make me not love you. We
will be together. We won't argueanymore. God wants us to be together.
God is merciful. No, youcan meet too. We're meant to
be together, Susan. I willtreasure you until the day I die.
(25:04):
No one has ever taken care ofme the way you do. I love
you. In February of twenty twentytwo, Russia invaded the Ukraine. I
haven't heard from Alexander since. Withall the trouble, with all the heartache,
(25:26):
he will always hold a place inmy heart. It's clear from Sciss's
account that there was true romantic lovehere. Is it possible Alexander felt it
too? Could all of his kindwords have been just part of an elaborate
charade or their true feelings On bothsides of this relationship, he made me
(25:48):
feel again. He made me wantto get up in the morning. He
also he helped my marriage. Onone occasion, my husband read a text
message sent to me that was obviouslya love note, calling me sweetheart,
the way Alexander would write to me. Since the call came through an Internet
app, there was no phone number, I just passed it off as a
(26:10):
call where I had no idea whoit was from. Then Alexander got drunk
and madled me a postcard. Ithad a picture of him and me next
to each other and read how muchhe loved me and how he wanted us
to be together for the rest ofour lives. Again, I just passed
it off as some nut. Thepicture came from my public photos on social
(26:30):
media. I also had previously hadtwo stalkers on social media that my husband
was aware of, so it wasplausible. Then something I didn't expect happened.
My husband decided to give up drinking. I feel it may have been
related to him realizing he could beon the verge of losing me. I've
always told him I would not spendthe last good days of my life with
(26:53):
a drunk. He knew in hisheart something was going on. Losing me
was not something he wanted. Sincethen, he now wants to go places
with me. We even took aroad trip. He would never have done
that before. He helps me withmy art projects. We even went out
on a Saturday night recently. Iknow he has a good heart and he
(27:17):
loves me. I realize I justhave to help him understand what my needs
are. I am back to noromance, no passion, and walking alone
in the evenings. I miss mywalking companion. I miss the good night
kisses, even if they were probablysent from across the world, and the
hope that someday he would actually cometo see me. If he called me
(27:41):
today and wanted to meet, Iwould not hesitate, but I would jump
on the first plane to go whereverhe wanted to meet. Not because I
still love him, because I justwant to know the truth. We have
a confession to make. Susan isnot her real name. In fact,
the voice you've heard isn't from theperson who experience this story. The voice
you've heard is the incredible Emmy winningactress and doubt who we may know from
(28:04):
The Handmaid's Tale, The Leftovers,and many other TV shows and movies.
The real Susan's husband still doesn't knowabout all of this. Alexander is not
the name the man told her either, which you've heard just now are a
real woman's written account of her experiencewith an online scammer. Alexander's messages aren't
real either. We wrote them,but modeled them on the style he would
write to Susan. We've reviewed thephotos she references in the story, as
(28:26):
well as correspondence with this man,dozens of pages of it, pulled from
their conversations over social media to corroboratemost of her claims of their interactions,
including numerous requests for money to besent. But the voice you heard in
the names you've heard were invented forthis episode to maintain the real Susan's privacy.
So in a way, I supposewe've catfished you, our listener.
(28:47):
We're sorry about that, but maybeit's a reminder of how easy it is
to believe something is real just becausewe're told it is. As for Susan,
she thought Alexander might have died inthe Russian invasion of the Ukraine,
but sure enough, a few weeksago he messaged her again. Maybe the
story is not over yet. Allegedlyis a production of Voyage Media. The
(29:12):
series is produced by nat Mondel,Robert Midas, and Dan Bennimore in association
with Darren Marlar's Weird Darkness. Thisepisode, My Forever Love, was directed
and produced by Dan Bennimore, writtenby Susan Patton, edited by Nick Schoup,
original music by Derlas Gonzalez. StarringAnne Dowd as Susan and Jonathan Roggier
as Alexander. If you're enjoying theshow, please give us a five star
(29:36):
review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you'relistening, and subscribe now for future episodes.
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