Jessica Pan: The Introvert's Guide to Socialising

In this episode, Jessica Pan discusses her book 'Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come' and her journey of embracing extroversion. As we discuss on the show, Jessica is almost the opposite to me – she’s an introvert who learnt to be more extraverted, whereas I started exploring Alonement as a means of dealing with my fear, as an extrovert, of being alone. She tells me about her journey to embrace solo travel, socialising with strangers and making new friends, all with the help of her 'extrovert mentors'. What this following episode touches on is the importance of balance and choice around how we spend our alone time, plus how learning to integrate more connection in your life can help you fall back in love with your solitude. We also touch on the loneliness of big cities, particularly London, and how Jessica has managed to curate her own tiny village within the UK capital. Jessica also talks about starting her Substack newsletter, It'll Be Fun, They Said, based on part-time job working in a local independent bookshop. Finally, she shares her favourite kinds of alone time, which involves reading by the ocean and journaling in a cafe.

Takeaways

• Embracing alone time can be a luxurious and fulfilling experience when it is a choice.
• Working in a bookshop can be enchanting and provide opportunities for meaningful connections with customers.
• Journaling is a valuable tool for self-reflection and understanding one's thoughts and feelings.
• Solo travel can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.
• Having extrovert mentors can provide guidance and support in navigating social situations.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

02:21

Different Journeys, Same Goal

03:42

The Fluidity of Introversion and Extroversion

04:10

The Pleasure of Working in a Bookshop

05:31

Starting the Substack Newsletter

06:30

Choosing Pleasure and Storytelling

08:25

The Enchantment of Working in a Bookshop

09:50

The Joy of Working in a Bookshop

10:46

The Aspirational Lifestyle of Working in a Bookshop

11:02

Balancing Work and Alone Time

12:57

The Privilege and Prison of Being Alone

13:57

Choosing to Be Alone

14:25

The Nuance of Enjoying Alone Time

15:24

The Universal Loneliness Problem

16:48

The Counterintuitive Decision to Be an Extrovert

17:18

The Loneliness of Metropolitan Life

19:10

The Surprise Solo Travel Experience

23:12

The Challenges of Solo Travel

25:08

The Benefit of Extrovert Mentors

32:50

Favorite Extrovert Adventures

36:36

Gaining Compassion for Introverted Parts

40:05

Tips for Spending Time Alone

45:27

Appreciating Introverted Parts of Yourself

46:26

Creating a Village in the City

49:21

Curating a Community

51:17

Creating Connections

52:15

Favourite Alone Time

Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device.

You can follow Jessica Pan's Substack at jesspan.substack.com, and my own at francescaspecter.substack.com

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