Welcome to this episode of Alopecia Life. The time for gatherings is here. Holidays, work parties, get-togethers with friends and family that "should" be fun. But...sometimes these gatherings turn into colossal upsets due to well-meaning or misguided family and friends. Of course, there does tend to be one total ass-hat who likes to take up space too. The early days of being diagnosed can be increasingly difficult with all of these events that we're expected to attend.
Over the years, I've heard from others living with alopecia that they don't feel supported, and that holiday meals are overtaken with conversation about their hair loss, re-growth, what they are choosing to wear on their heads, and the new treatment options that are available.
For those who are listening and are looking for ways to support us...here are a few do's and don't's.
Don't - Touch our head unless you've been given permission. Don't stroke our wig, ask us to be free and take our hat or scarf off, and definitely NEVER lick our heads in a drunken gesture of affection. Yes, that has happened to me. Not cool.
Do - Ask us how our life is outside of our hair loss. We are so much more than our hair. Smile at us, include us in conversation about food, sports, television shows, and the things that interest us. Don't be weird.
For those of us who are on the receiving end of comments from colleagues, and family members who just don't quite get it yet, establish some boundaries. Not everybody is out to get us, as we know, but sometimes it feels like that. Determine whether it's time to educate, give them the bird, or just walk away and take time to yourself in a safe place or with a safe person. My hope is that you have a safe person who has your back. If you know there's always that auntie who just can't keep her comments to herself, roleplay with your safe person to come up with a response that feels right. Education can be taken on by family or a trusted friend too, and sometimes that may look like them taking that challenging person aside and telling them that google exists for a reason, and go look it up to get educated, point them to some helpful resources, or just tell them to shut the hell up.
However you choose to spend your holidays, know that your boundaries can be set and expanded on. You are not alone. Take your safe person, have some quick answers, and enjoy the season. I'd love to hear your good and bad holiday stories of things that have been said or done. Let's connect over all of these things over on the FB Alopecia Life group page, on Instagram or through reaching out to me in person.
If you're looking for resources to point family to, I have a FREE Alopecia 101 course that maps it all out for them. I've put that link here in the show notes. https://www.alopecialife.com/alopecia-areata-online-course/
Alopecia Life provides free resources for school and home education, including a growing list of alopecia books, education videos on YouTube, links to support groups within the US, UK, Canada and more. You will also find access to Head-On, Stories of Alopecia, the Alopecia 101 free course, paid Alopecia Roadmap course for parents of children living with alopecia, and personalized coaching. Together, we can make a difference. To find out more, https://www.alopecialife.com/
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.