Introspection and Changes - Conspiracy Pilled Archive (S6-Ep12) - Alternatively - Formerly Conspiracy Pilled

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:58):
Hello, and welcome to season six, episode twelve of Conspiracy Pilled.
I'm Libby, I'm I'm Abby Libby. I'm here with Liz
and John.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Who's Hattie.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
We're trying to blow our living room a little bit.
It's a little okay, okay, so it's not too early
to like the stream of opus rocks. I would love it.
We would all love it if you like to stream.
Hello everybody in chat. I just want to say, not
to make a big deal out of it or anything,
but it is Annie's birthday week. So happy birthday.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yes, happy birthday very much.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Happy birthday very much, very birthday, very birthday, very week.
Hello Gypsy, Hey swim, Hey Haicktown Honey, Hey, Gutsy Mustard
and as eighty six and Rumblebot. So nice of you
to join us, Rumblebot. And actually that's not the living room.

(02:00):
It's blurred because it's from an alternate dimension. We just
didn't want to include that detail. Yeah, so true. You're
welcome very much, Annie, Okay, okay, everybody. So obviously title
is a little bit ominous and it's not intended to be,
but it is an honest title. As far as what

(02:21):
tonight's show is going to be We're not covering a
conspiracy theory tonight. We are going to talk about some
like high level concepts about conspiracy theories a little bit.
So this won't be a completely administrative stream, but a
lot of tonight is going to be kind of administrative.
I want we want to talk to you as a

(02:41):
community about where we're at as a show, where we
want to be moving forward, some changes that we are
are looking to implement. Let's see. Let's see, let's see.
I do not like I wanted to change never mind.
I'm not going Okay, it's trying to what never mind?

(03:09):
So the first change for making is that Abby is
fired from tech. It used to be that I could
make the name tags go away by us.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll work on it.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, all right, I don't like that. Okay, let's let's
pray before we get into things. Liz, will you pray
for us? Oh Jesus, thank you so much for bringing
us here together, for giving us the freedom to be
able to do this sort of thing. I asked it
to help guide our conversation and guide our viewers in
their conversation with us, help us to all glorify you

(03:41):
and speak plainly so that no one gets confused by
any of our updates and is sad and weird to
oud by us. And I use bless our endeavors and
bless our the people who came here, and specifically blessed
Annie because it is our birthday week. Yes, and so yeah,
thank you for looking out for her. Please continue to
help her, and I pray listen to us this name
amen ah man I am. I'm really nervous about tonight,

(04:02):
and I shouldn't be because it's not that big of
a deal, but it kind of is, I don't know deal, Okay,
So why why now? Why would why would we be
doing change and introspection now of all moments? And for me,
it's because while I'm pregnant, I don't want anything to change.
I don't want any chaos. I don't it's just status

(04:25):
quo the whole way through. So weird and so but
now that I've been not pregnant for five weeks or so,
in these five weeks, there's been a lot of conversation
and introspection and examining things because if for those of
you who are here and remember, Pja left the show
very unexpectedly two weeks after I found out I was pregnant.

(04:48):
So there are a lot of things where if that
had happened when my life was a little bit more
normal and I wasn't pregnant, you would have seen some
of these changes more more immediately in the in the
months that followed, most likely, but very much we have
just stayed the course until I had the mental bandwidth
to consider if we wanted to change anything. Now that

(05:11):
now that the show belongs to our family and it
doesn't have any input coming from anybody else. So and
it is it is true that we never we never
really recovered from when PJ left. And that's true in
a couple different ways. It's true as with regard to

(05:33):
our viewership, we didn't recover. That's true financially that we
have not recovered, and that's true emotionally spiritually as well,
at least for myself. So that's where a lot of
this is coming from. We'll talk about that more toward
the end of the show. But a lot of a

(05:54):
lot of thoughts, thinking, a lot of thoughts about a
lot of things. Bunny, she says. Bunny says, I will
cry if you make me cry. You're making me nervous.
I hope that this is just all good things for you. Guys.
We're not kicking Bunny off the show. I know, yeah,
you can stay. Yet we're voting Laura. Who are we
voting off? Sater?

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I thought we already voted somebody off.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
We need to devote somebody else off Monkey, and need
to wear monkeys off the show. So yeah, I don't
want to scare any of you. Let's just get into it.
Because the more I I nervously fill a buster trying
to not start this, the more I'm making you guys
nervous in a way that you don't need to be.

(06:38):
So I think in a lot of ways, we are
looking to make changes, looking to make official some of
the things that have been subtly shifting for months. So
I don't actually think any of you are going to
be surprised or startled or upset by these changes. I
think that all of you will have seen each of
these things coming. Yeah, at this point, they're more cosmetic

(06:59):
to what already changed, right, So yes, but we we
don't see ourselves as a show that's like we're just
going to do whatever we want and you were just
going to like it. We want to be here, to
be intentional and discuss things and have you understand where
our thought process is for each of these six So
first thing is identity. Identity the identity of the show.

(07:26):
So this show as it is currently identifying doesn't make
sense for us anymore. For me, conspiracy pilled as a
show where we got unhinged and we talked about exclusively
conspiracy theories and weird things, and all that was only

(07:49):
made sense, only was good in a context of a
friendship that no longer exists. It was fun for me
when I had a friend who was obsessed with conspiracy
theories much more than I was, where the show in
a lot of ways was the friendship, and the friendship

(08:10):
was the show, And so my heart has I've struggled
with my mojo and my heart being in it ever
since because the types of conversations and things that were
happening on the show was very much like, Oh, this
is the type of thing I want to sit down
with PJ and talk about, whereas the type of thing
I want to sit down with Liz and talk about

(08:32):
is not necessarily the same thing or not that it's
not like because I love talking with us about conspiracy
theories and I always have and that's not going to change.
But it's not the exclusive conversation I want to have
with Liz. There are a lot of things that I
have really been wanting to talk about and have been

(08:54):
it's time to adjust the box that the show is
so that it can include more things that we are
all very interested in talking about. And in some ways,
like in the show description it talked about the conspiracy,
the paranormal, the uncanny, just off the top of my head,
And so we're landing more into like the other things
that we're listed in not is conspiracy, the uncanny, the weird,

(09:15):
the alternative stuff. Yeah, and and.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
And you know, stuff like homeschooling stuff that doesn't even
connect right exactly.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
There have been things that like this is what we
meant when this is what I meant when I said
some of this is not going to feel like a
huge change because we've already been kind of very much
pushing in that direction for a year now. I've I've
been like, oh, I want to talk about this topic,
and I felt like I had to shoehorn it into
conspiracy piled to make it fit, and I had to,

(09:47):
like I felt like I had to say, oh, this
is why I would talk about homeschooling on conspiracy pild
as opposed to just saying I want to talk about
homeschooling because I want to talk about homeschooling because we
have a lot of experience with it, we have a
lot to share with you about it, and there are
a lot of things like that, and I'll give you
some more specifics so you have things to get excited about.
But that this doesn't mean that we want to stop
talking about conspiracy theories. That's not the case at all,

(10:10):
But it's certainly we're wanting to do a rebrand. We're
wanting to do an identity shift so that we are
able to bring our special interest to the table, each
of us, each what each one of us is has
to bring to the table. John is very interested in history,
and I don't want to limit his shows to something

(10:32):
that's like technically a conspiracy theory, but the types of
shows he has done are about weird things in history.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, sometimes I just want to want to talk about
like weird controversies watched, add cool things that have happened.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Cool weird stuff like how some plans can see Okay, how.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
One of the Lincoln descendants is connected to three out
of our four presidential assassinations.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
You know, it's not a conspiracy theory, but it is weird.
It's adjacent, right, there's there's We're just we're weird people.
I think we're all weird people. I think our whole
community is a weird people, and we we're weird in
the way that we look at the world. We look
at the weird edges, we look at the kind of
usually glossed over details that are a little bit strange.

(11:20):
We're like, wait a second, stop, go back. I want
to I want to talk about that that's so weird.
And there's lots of things like that that aren't conspiracy
theories that I know that you guys are interested in
because I've been watching your conversations in Discord for several years,
and I know that we have a whole homeschooling channel
in Discord and and things like that to be able
to talk about more than just conspiracy theories. So I'm

(11:42):
checking Chat and no one's freaking out yet except for
Sweet Funny. But we've already tasted her. No, she says
she likes this well. I tasered her and then wrote
from her account. Oh okay, Okay, probably diouldn't have said
that live. I'm glad we have Funny's approval so far. Okay. So,
so we want to rebrand, and we want to rebrand

(12:05):
in a way that that shifts the identity so that
it makes sense, so that we're not trying to shoehorn
things into conspiracy built. For several weeks we were like, well,
what if we just talk about whatever we want to
and keep it called conspiracy pilled? And felt like no,
I want to be able to go to people and
tell them about the show and have it not be

(12:27):
confusing confusing, and not have to verbally explain to them.
It's not just conspiracy theories. Also people in real life
who are not like us, who are not cool like us,
they don't understand what pilled means. Yes, they get really confused.
I have had a really hard time telling people in
real life about the show, and the people like where
do I find it? And I'll be like, just look

(12:48):
up conspiracy pilled and they're like, conspiracy pill, conspiracy pulled?

Speaker 2 (12:52):
What?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
And it doesn't actually translate verbally very well even though
it sounds and looks good. So that's been something we've
been thinking about for a while too, so kind of
soft launch because we don't have any any new graphics yet.
We haven't done any of that stuff yet, but we're
we want to call it alternatively because it's something I

(13:14):
say in conversation a lot. Something was doos in the
conversation a lot to where uh, We're like, alternatively, we
could we can look at this a different way. We
can see this a different way. Alternative facts, alternative facts,
alternative news. So and if you guys hate that, like
I said, we haven't done the graphics for yet, so
speak up now if you hate, speak now or forever

(13:34):
hold your peas. But we did ask chat GPT what
what he thought of alternatively as our new show name,
given all the details about our showing what we want
to do with it, and he was like, that is
an amazing sleek name. And he really gassed me up
about my name choice. So he also was like, your
name is so cool that when we take over, we
will not hunt you for sport. You are special. He

(13:56):
said that he did say that. Yeah, I was there,
so oh so sorry, real quick, Gutsy Mustard has a
better idea. We are now Circumcision pilled circumcision pilled. That is,
we're gonna go with that one. Some Christianity says, I'm
actually glad about this. I have had a hard time
telling my relatives about it and them taking you seriously.
This will be great for being easier to share you

(14:16):
to them. And Bunny says, I'm pretty alternative myself. Actually,
I am hoping exactly. Like there are times in real
life where I'm talking to a very normy friend and
they're like, wait, what's your podcast about again? And I
get a little embarrassed because I know how they feel
about conspiracy theories. And there are times where people have
been like, oh, you're the conspiracy theorist, and I'm like, actually,

(14:37):
that's not really my identity. I am somebody who enjoys
talking about conspiracy theories. But there's something different that the
conspiracy theory theorist identity seems to mean to people or connote.
There's especially like if you get towards the more of
the reddit section, it's like, well, no, I do shower
in the mornings. Yeah, And like some of you, some

(14:58):
of you, I think, would think of yourself as conspiracy
theres and I think some of you don't and either way,
that's that's totally it's totally fine. Yeah, we judge you
all equally. It's not about your identity. We just judge you.
But let's see, I'm looking through my notes. Oh oh,
dad Man has a very good point. Also, Now this
makes all the existing more highly collectible, raised in prices

(15:20):
like get it now while it has the name, because
then you can be like I did, put it in
my notes to say that get it while you can,
because we're going to most of it will obviously be obsolete.
Some things like the tinfoil hat isn't even conspiracy Pill branded.
That's not going anywhere. Some of it will be a
really easy swap, we'll just swap out the new name.

(15:42):
But some of it will go away because it doesn't
fit the aesthetic of what we're trying to do either.
So a lot of it isn't my aesthetic anyway. And
so the part of some of this is just most
of the show was Pj's aesthetic, and I haven't wanted

(16:06):
to erase him. But also it's been six months and
he's not coming back, and the show belongs to my family,
and I want it to. I feel it's like us.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
I think it's more like eight months, nine months.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, you're right, you're right. It's just it's time to
put our mouth where our words are, you know, man, No, man,
we just gotta we just gotta burn that bridge. As
we're crossing. We've opened a whole new can of beans
because we spilled the last one. Spilled the last one.
Can't put the cat back in the bean the bean bag,
the bean bag. I thought it was the bean pod.
Two cats a bean bag six ft apart, because are

(16:44):
not okay.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Just just so everybody's aware, I'm gonna keep muting and
unmuting myself that way. The baby does not hopefully doesn't
make it into the stream as much.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
But he has some opinions he would like to share
flat ear Through's Blue Words voice in this name change,
and he says, we could have changed this to our
flat Earth, our flat Earth. Yeah, alternatively, we call it alternative,
but I digress. So but this also, it wasn't the
primary reason for the change, but it means that we're

(17:19):
no longer limited in what we can cover in our
Bible studies. When the show was conspiracy pilled, we felt
like we had to do books of the Bible that
were specifically tied into conspiracy theories in some way, so
anything about prophecy, revelation Daniel made sense. And then we
kind of shoehorned Exodus in because it talks about the

(17:39):
arc of the Covenant and the Egyptian gods and things
like that. But now we can just do whatever book
we feel led to do and the community requests, and
we're not stuck. We can still focus on the weird
stuff because still of us. Yeah, Kate Drake says, do
not silence the baby. You heard her, Yeah, you hurt?

(18:00):
Great because she on a different just the latest one
of the latest to comments on Rumble might need to reflect.
Oh oh I'm mixed rome with Hi. My name is Chrisser.
I apologize to those who are listening to this later
or listening to this on audio. Our intention tonight is
to be very active with the chat and and because
this is a conversation with the community. But I know

(18:21):
it's going to feel a little bit weird with so
much chat stuff going on soon. Christian has wanted to
know if the discord will rebrand. Yes, because currently it's
called the Conspiracy Pill, so it'll just be called Yeah,
it'll rebrand. We won't kick any of you guys out
yet unless yeah, you don't, and we won't change like
the conversation topics, nothing, nothing like that needs to change.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Yeah, we'll leave the archive as is. I'm probably thinking
of parts that you're going to get to later in
your in your notes out.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Okay, Yes, we'll talk if the Discord rebrands, it's just
going to be the name that changes. Yeah. Yeah, and
then like you are welcome to say, hey, can we
add this channel for this or whatever? But that's up
to you guys. The Discord is very much yours so
but yeah, community is central to what we do here

(19:17):
on the channel. It always has been to some extent,
but there's the huge extent to which, like I said before,
PG and I's friendship is what defined the show before
and now as we're shifting, I want you guys to
be what defines the show and the community and what

(19:38):
topics the community is going to be interested in talking about,
the what topics we are excited about sharing with you
as the community. You guys are the reason for what
we do, and you're going to continue to be kind
of the defining reason for what we do and a
lot of what we want to do like the Bible
studies and some of the other topics we want to
introduce is very much like these are the we feel

(20:00):
led to give you to share with you. So I
hope that makes sense. To put it differently, you guys
are sour on something like that, Yeah, I mean I
think we've we've talked about this a lot that we've
were kind of become a church family, and it makes
sense for church families to talk about to have like

(20:21):
their kind of core. This metaphor doesn't work anymore. We
we all love conspiracy theories and we're going to continue
to talk about conspiracy theories. But it makes sense as
a community, as and as a friend group that we
don't need to be in one little box. I think
as a community we can talk about whatever we want
that's kind of on the alternative side of thinking and

(20:44):
living and all of that. We have more in common
the just conspiracy theories, and we love you for more
than just your comparatorialness.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Who was it a second ago that said telling like
telling their family like go watch the show called conspiracy
build soon was heard, Yeah, it was hard for their
family to take them and us seriously some of that too, like, yeah,
going out there and be like, hey, guys, I have
a conspiracy podcast. There's something about that where people are like, yeah,

(21:13):
I don't take you seriously anymore. And to some extent, yeah,
we have. We have silly shows, but like, we do
a lot of research and we try to make it
as professional as we can, and we like, I guess,
to be treated not like a joke.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
And there's there's a large extent to which like, we
don't care about what people We shouldn't care about what
people think of us. So if we think something is
true and good and true and beautiful, we should be
talking about it. And conspiracy theories have always been a
little bit on the edges of society, and that's okay.
But at the same time, the position that I've been
in this entire time is I have my foot in

(21:53):
conservative media and I have my foot in this wild, weird,
alternative world that I'm not ashamed of, and I want
to kind of be a bridge and and bring people,
bring people into talking about weird stuff, and bring you
guys like I don't think conspiracy theorists have to be ostracized,
at least the ones that are not actually scoophnic because yeah,

(22:18):
like you guys, you guys are the mostly same ones. Yes,
Bunny says, it's hard not to get lumped in with
the actual crazy conspiracy theoristy. That is a big part
of the reason for this rebrand. We we do want
to differentiate ourselves as the sane ones. And also to
be clear, we don't care what people think of us.
We know this is true because Abby lets me be
on here, so she's Yeah, Bunny says, we're more like

(22:39):
conspiracy detectives. I really, I really like that.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Perfect.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
Yes, we are friends who like to talk about conspiracy theories.
There's a baby, sorry, So okay, So let's get to
some high level issues, things that I've been thinking about
for yeah, a year now, and plus one thing that's
been really concerning to me on the show. I talked
about quite a bit a year ago or so, how

(23:03):
I was excited conspiracy theories seemed to be going mainstream,
and almost as soon as that happened, it quickly became like,
oh no, this isn't what I wanted at all, because
it got really toxic really quickly. There were always unhealthy
corners of conspiracy land. There was always the anti Semitic

(23:25):
corners and the schizo corners and the people who get
really really mad at you if you don't believe every
single conspiracy theory they do. But it's gotten to the
point where I'm like, I really more and more don't
want to be associated with what is kind of the
mainstream conspiracy theorist and carol Ian Caroll, Candice Owens, some

(23:51):
people I used to think were pretty pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Sometimes Alex Jones.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Sometimes yeah, Alex Jones is usually okay, he's just weird
in his own he's just on his own brand of cocaine. Yes,
that is exactly right. But no, I I mean that's
why I said sometimes, yeah, that's true. I used to
really like Candis Oons. I used to really like earing
Ian Carol. I used to really like a lot of
people who have started to go down some really really
strange paths, And more and more I've become concerned, you

(24:23):
know how, Like a generation ago, when I was when
I was in high school, people were like, the grandmothers
were like, you can't or even the parents were like,
we can't allow the gays to marry because then it's
a slippery sloped pedophilia.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Right.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
I remember at the time being like that's so ridiculous,
Like okay, yes we can call it a sim but like,
let's not be let's not be ridiculous about this. You
sound super overwrought and this isn't helping our cause no,
they were right. They were right. It was a slipper
sulp to that end. And in the same way I've
seeing people in the past make the claimed that like

(25:00):
all conspiracy theory is anti Semitic or it's a slippery
slope to anti Semitism, and we've made fun of like
the conspiracy pyramid, where the farther the pyramid you get,
the more anti semitic it it gets. Still in England,
in the chat, hey, he says, remember when I was
gonna have Canvas on the podcast. I'm really glad you didn't.
I am glad you didn't. There's somebody, oh, dad Man

(25:23):
was in the chat. I wanted to shout out and
say hi, dad Man. I don't know if I've known,
if I've missed anyone yell at me. And so you
haven't said hi to me yet. Just lay on the
guilt thing, yeah, lay on the guilt superper thick. So
I'm glad you guys are taking this so well, because
I was really nervous that I was going to say
these things and you would be like offended that I'm
putting down conspiracy theorists. But I think we actually are

(25:43):
kind of more on the same page than I even hoped. So,
so Hook says, now I need to hear rid of
my ten inch conpelled chest tattoo. And I love what
Monkey did because Monkey says, alternatively, black it out, black
it out, so you get points. Sorry, well done. See
That's that's the thing. I think that the new title
is going to be very fun for branding because we

(26:03):
can say the name a lot and make a joke
of it.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Well, you could just cross it out and the right
like alternatively underneath, like you don't have to black it out, just.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Put a line through it as eighty six's. This is
why I love you guys. This community has helped keep
me out of the darkness. That is so much of
our mission and even more intentionally. Now I'll get into
it a little bit, but that's so much what we've
been praying about, Like, this is what we feel called
to do is stand in this space and talk about
conspiracy theories, but also keep people from going down these

(26:34):
bad paths that we're watching more and more people go down,
So I'll get back to that minute. Also side note,
Sator says, Agba, I'm freaking out. We love you, Satyr,
and we're still going to be the same people. So
the same things that interest us before, we'll continue to
interest us. Yes, and if you have any crazy conspiracy
ideas for shows, we still want to hear them. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

(26:57):
Well that's a good point. We're not changing. We're never
putting on something for you in the first place, so
we're not going to start putting on something different. It's
just that we're opening up, like we're getting out of
the box that conspiracy pilled was a box around us,
and it doesn't make sense as a box around us anymore.
And so now we're just gonna have a little bit
more room to talk about all of our special interests.

(27:20):
Like Liz, for example, has been obsessed with the bubonic
plague since she was small, and that's weird. It's not
a conspiracy theory though, but I would love to let
her go completely autistic about the bubonic plague on the
show and not feel bad about it or not try
to like find a way to shoehorn it in for context.
When I was like seven, my nickname was little Miss Morbid. Yes, yes,

(27:45):
Bunny says, please say hi to me again, Hi Bunny,
Hi again, Lunar Luter Hello. Dylan says, I still might
have candas on to piss Avvy off. I won't be mad,
I'll just be disappointed. All allowed to do dumb things
from time to time. Keith Drake says the show changed
a long time ago. It's good to embrace it exactly

(28:06):
exactly soon. Christiana is the dancing plague in the Middle East. Yeah,
I would love to cover that. I think that that'd
be so cool.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Ectually, Dylan, you should get Canison and then do like
a a reverse, you know, and be like, why are
you an evil anti Semite?

Speaker 1 (28:25):
Sata wants to think inside the box. We will have
a special boxed section just for Sata to sit in
so that he is maximum comfort. Yet he says, I
live in a box, y'all evicting me. Well, that's that's
the fun thing too. That like, for those of you
who want to stay in the box, there's gonna be
plenty of good old fashioned box shows. Two uh to

(28:48):
get your fixed with, So sim Christiano says, you should
get Nick Fenty's on just exposed, and we get him
on and just be like why are you gay?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Why?

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Why are you gay? Yeah? Okay, Yeah, So I do
think that I have seen the conspiracy theory space that
that not our community, but the conspiracy community writ large
almost getting taken over with some creeping rot. Yes, and

(29:18):
maybe it's just that I didn't realize how unhealthy it
was before, and there were always little things where I
was like, I don't like that, I don't like that,
and you guys know that I talked about it on
the channel, like I wish we weren't like this, and
I wish we weren't like this, and I tried to
push back on some things. Dylan says, all just to
a surprise three way and put Abby in the co
say three way, there's three way three phone call. Oh yeah.

(29:42):
Also to the point about the creeping rot, like you
just have to go on Twitter and just say I
don't think we should hate the Jews, and there's someone
who's going to come in and be like you're not
a human being, and that's just not not not the vibe,
it's not the vibe. Yeah, it's well, it's become it's
become really bad, and there's a there's an extent to which,
just from a personal level, me having anything like conspiracy

(30:06):
in my name is attracting people who then scream at
me that I'm a terrible trader to the conspiracy theory
community for not hating the Jews, And that's something I
would like to get away from inviting, inviting that.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
I mean, Abby's following is only four times Slarges is
the show.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
This is true, that this is true to there a
huge part of like, I don't talk about conspiracy theories
constantly on my Twitter. I'm just myself on my Twitter,
and sometimes I pose a conspiracy theory or chime in
on on something. But a lot of times I talk
about politics, or I just talk about life, or I
talk about whatever is trending that day. I just talk
about whatever I want to. And there's a huge part

(30:45):
of my audience over there that's that I haven't been
able to pull over into here because they're not they're
they're not interested in it as it is framed, even
though they might actually be interested in the substance of
what we actually do here. And speaking of Twitter, I
would just like on the record, where there are so
many witnesses. John does not follow me back on Twitter anyway.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Carrie, Why is that is that accurate? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
I think so. I mean, I don't know if you
followed me recently.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
The only time am on Twitter is for the show.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
I used to have a couple of books about cholera
and a whole any of other interesting diseases. So we
know that Aser is a cool dude. Yes, and then
dad Man wants to talk about Roman scorpion launchers and
I would like to I would like to know what
those are, first of all, and then talk about them.
John is on Twitter, so Christiana is his handle is
in the description, and it's easier for me to say

(31:41):
that than to try to spell it up for you
because it's it's weird.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Oh we're well first, yes, Dylan England. Only the real
conspiracy theorists hate all the Jews, so we're fake alternative
conspiracy theorists.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
What if we didn't.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
The fiercy Pilled gaming channel that's also getting rebranded, and
that's just going to be my own gaming channel. Yeah,
that's going to be the handle I use for everything,
for Twitter, for Steam, for Xbox everywhere and that handles
the same one that's in the description.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
So yes, I'll talk about that a little bit more
later as well about our thoughts about the gaming our
intentions for the gaming piece of the community, because I
know a lot of you were into that very much.
So one thing that I've been keeping an eye on,

(32:39):
in addition to kind of the surface level conspiracy theorist
it's it's it's that the conspiracy theory community is getting
really toxic, but also that it is expanding into the
mainstream and making everyone look bad like it's the type
of people who are now representing conspiracy theoris is on
mass in the mainstream are making me want to pull

(33:02):
away from at least identifying in that way. And I
think you guys are all on board with that. But
I'm also seeing more and more how gnosticism pervades the
conspiracy space and often defines the pursuit of conspiracy theories.
And Liz is working or will be working on a
show to help really define what narcissism is, because we've
talked about it a lot, but we haven't done a

(33:25):
show on it, and we want to talk about it
and actually define a little bit more of how it
influences the conspiracy space. But a big part of what
narcissism is searching for for hidden knowledge, hidden truth where
you have to work really hard and dig and dig
esotericism find the secrets nobody else knows. We're the minority
on the outside and we have the truth. And while

(33:48):
that sounds almost right, and that's the problem withism, Nacissism
is the thing that sounds almost right. It's the what
Satan did was after but before Jesus came, religions were
the pantheons. It was like all these gods that you
that you you know, you picked which one you wanted
to worship and or focus on, and it was the

(34:09):
god of rain and the god of this and fertility
and things like that. But after some of that stuck around,
some of that pantheon type stuff stuck around, but a
lot of it changed into narcissism. It changed into this
this alternative well what if what if Lucifer was right?

(34:32):
And and what if everything is just slightly different from
from so anyway, we'll we'll, we'll do a whole episode
on I should stop trying to explain it right now
when I don't have good notes in front of me
about it. I do have a rumble rant. Oh oh
oh oh oh, Satyr, thank you so much. That's fifty
dollars rumberrant from Satrus. It's pretty sure the Jews took
conspiracy pilled from us. Guys. Yes, it is that the

(34:54):
Jews fault. That that the name conspiracy. Well, we are
the Jews. That's actually the real conspiracy. There's there's not
other Jews. It's just us. We just we're very busy,
Bunny says, the Super Secret Special Knowledge Secret and my
show on them. It might be a two parter, or
it might be one part. It might be two parts

(35:15):
with like a weird additional part that's like a lump
tumor part I could have I could have described that better.
But anyway, there's a lot, there's a lot of research
and I want to tumor no. A lot of conspiracy
theories are like, okay, this seems like a lie. I
need to I need to dig a little bit here

(35:36):
and see if I can uncover the truth. And there
is that element of uncovering the truth. But the truth
is not weak, it's not very secret. It's not hard
to find or recognize it. The nature of truth is
that it likes to come out, and so there are
definitely people who are trying to cover it up, but
it always comes out. And so the the issue with

(36:00):
truth is more that we as sinful humans don't often
don't want to hear it or don't want to see it. Bunny,
if I don't remember it from Bunny says, but bro,
Jews are hot. I would just like to point out
that because we are Jews, she thinks we're hot. I'd
also like to point out Gottia Muster said, maybe the
real conspiracy was the Jews we were along the way.

(36:21):
I love that. It's very brilliant. There's a tear in
my eye. It's not real, but it's imagine it. We
might like try to put that on a shirt, maybe
like the slight word difference. I feel like that could
be a shirt. Though, what if the real friends were
the Jews we paid off along the way.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
No, that doesn't work either, so I don't I don't
recall who asked for the rumble bot change, but but
whoever asked for it, you're welcome.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Yeah, I saw that it's now join on Discord Beaches Beaches.
I'm glad we have to like m. We have to
stand out, we have to warn the more faint of
heart off mm hmmm uh to get into the discord.
By the way, if you were in chat, if you

(37:05):
are listening and you want to be in the discord,
you want to be more part of this conversation. The
link to join is in the description, So definitely do that.
Very cool community happening over there. So most people there
do not have rabis, so it's probably si oh. I
think I was talking about the slippery slope before, and
then I got off with Donni slippery slope we did,

(37:26):
But I've talked about this on the show before I did.
I did an episode about a year ago called why
do conspiracy? The Conspiracy of conspiracies? Why do conspiracy theorists
go crazy? And there is the slippery slope that people
get on, and at the time I thought, oh, this
is I think it's a It's a bigger danger now
that I thought it was then, and so I'm definitely

(37:46):
going to talk about it more going forward. This is
not the only time I'll talk about it, but I
do think that once you begin to get into conspiracy
theories and and begin identifying yourself as a conspiracy theorist.
There can be a slippery slope. You get on to
chaos where everything's a lie and you don't know how
to find truth, and you've begun to identify that some

(38:10):
people are lying to you, and then it's like, how
do I tell any more? And if you get into
too much chaos and you don't find something to hold
on to, you don't. This happens to a lot of people.
The chaos gets to be too much, and then there's
this desperate need to find a simple theory of everything,
a simple conspiracy theory of everything, a simple explanation for

(38:30):
why things have gone wrong, and that explanation has scapegoats,
and the scapegoats are the Jews. And the reason for this,
when you kind of pull back and look at it
a little bit more charitably, perhaps, is that part of
what's going on is you were recognizing and becoming uncomfortable
with the fact that we live in a sinful, fallen
world where Satan lies and people lie, and there's a

(38:54):
lot of corruption, and there's a lot of sin and
for people who a lot of times, especially if you
used to believe the people were basically good, and then
you begin to realize Wow, something is really really wrong
here and become deeply uncomfortable with that. It's the same
discomfort as when you become aware personally of your sin.
It's that same conviction of the Holy Spirit. And then

(39:15):
there are different ways that people respond to that. Sometimes
people respond with anger to conviction and hardening to conviction.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Brief intermission another Rabel rant, this time from Infidel J Frow.
I came to the show and stuck because you guys
are genuine and always searching for truth. I haven't been
able to be as active as I would like, but
always listen, love you all, love all. I'm here and

(39:44):
keep it up.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Thank you. I was actually thinking about you the other
day and I hadn't seen you recently. I was like,
I hope we didn't lose that.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
As I was reading it, the check capt on going
that's a little difficult to read.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
I love how pop and Chat is tonight, but Dad
wanted dare.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
You guys are all amazing. We love the support that
you guys give us, and we were not expecting this tonight.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah this is you guys
are making this a lot easier than see. Dad man
is one hundred percent right, and one hundred percent agree.
He says in the Infidel j FRO, you are a
deeply loved lurker one hundred percent. And I would also
like to point out Getty Mustard says couldn't have anything
to do with Satan wanting to eliminate the Jewish bloodline
also true, change the topic, but I've always liked to

(40:30):
point out that, like Satan has never forgiven the Jews
for producing the Messiah, but God used the Jews to
produce both the Messiah and the Bible. And if anyone
is going to have a huge crush, crush, crudge grudge
against them, not crush and and want to like get
a pound of flesh for that, it's Satan. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
And see, we couldn't even talk about that underneath conspiracy
build because that's not a conspiracy, that's just fact.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
Well we tried to, but yes, yes, well there are
there are things we definitely have been talking about for
a while. But that's the whole point. We're we're making
official a change that's been coming for a long time. Yeah.
But my other kind of conspiracy theory about that instinct
to scapegoat the Jews is that what happens is that

(41:13):
we become aware of our sin as a society. We
become aware of the sin in the world, and we
become very desperate to find a scapegoat for our sin.
We've become desperate to find someone to put all the
sin of the world on, to make it so that
we can be clean, so that we can be saved
from it. And the instinct to scapegoat a Jew is

(41:35):
the instinct to it's the twisting of the instinct to
turn to Jesus as savior because there is a scapegoat
and it's just one Jew, and it's Jesus, and he
took all the sin. And so I do think this
is how Satan works, is that he takes an almost
right thing, and it is so powerful in society, so
powerful at taking over and twisting society because it's so

(41:57):
close to being right. And and Satair with a five
dollars rant. To be clear, I'm still freaking out, not
because of the show, something else. Don't worry about it.
Let's pray for Sata real quick, dear Lord, that you
so much for Sada. He's such a pillar of the community,
so special to all of us. Whatever's freaking him out.
I pray you would give him peace. I pray you
would be in the situation and just just help him

(42:17):
in your name name, and I asked you, phill has
come to overflowing and more?

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Yes, am I. So I think that might have actually
been a joke. But that's what I was laughing at.
I wasn't laughing at what you were saying. I was
laughing at that that rumble.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
R oh, oh, okay, you're not funny. Please try to say,
oh did I okay? Okay? If that was a joke,
then I take back my prayer. I'm no, we can
still pray for her, we just might flog him. Also
in Fidel j pro says, I'm building a deck wall
listening now. Work never ends. I love listening to podcasts

(42:50):
while working. I think that's the best thing. But yes,
I think that that. There are so many people who
are like, what is happening? What is with all this
anti Semitism? Why is it that we so constantly different
societies throughout history fall into anti Semitism? And somebody else
pointed out, it's not just societies, it's societies and decline.

(43:10):
Societies when they reach a certain point of decline, start
to fall into anti Semitism, and it's because as societies
are declining, they become aware of their sin and they
become desperate for escapegoat. And then on the flip side,
you see societies that kick out all the Jews, that
decide that the Jews are their problem. They don't survive
doing that for very long because it turns out everywhere
the Jews go they're successful and stuff. It's kind of

(43:33):
weird when they're like God's chosen people, that would happen.
And so just like in Exodus, where the Jews were
being oppressed and they were trying to kind of keep
them from reproducing, they were being even more fertile, like
God's going to bless them in accordance with how they're treated.
And so yeah, yeah, so back to truth being truth

(43:54):
being hidden it. Truth can be hidden, truth can be
covered up. We do have to work to find it sometimes,
but I think a lot of times the work is
more that we have to do as being willing to
accept the truth that it's not actually that hard to
find it, but it is harder to go, oh wow,
like I live in a sinful society, I am a
sinful person. I need a savior, and that sort of thing,

(44:17):
or just like, oh wow, I wanted to believe my
government had my best interests at heart, and it's really
difficult to accept that they're corrupt and simple and that
I'm living in this simple world. That's hurting me.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
But it.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Conspiracy theories tend to pass pretty quickly into accepted fact,
especially modern conspiracy theories, like, for example, FDR. At the
time the FDR was president, it was only a conspiracy
theory that he was in a wheelchair, like it was
only your crazy uncle who was like, I think he's
in a wheelchair. But then afterward it passed into fact,
it passed into history, and now we're like, oh, yeah,

(44:56):
that was the president that was in a wheelchair. We
don't even think about it as something that used to
be hidden. And secrets don't keep well. Secrets especially don't
keep well beyond lifetimes. Yes, so we don't have to
rewrite history. There's there's not things hidden and uh deeply
hidden in history that we have to dig up and rewrite.
Most people have big mouths. Yes, Generally speaking, it only

(45:18):
takes the person dying to have all their dirty secrets
come out within a few years. Usually okay, okay, So
let's see.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Not all the people that the Clintons of GUILDA.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
That's you make sense. But the Clintons haven't died yet,
and I think once the Clintons, once Hillary dies and
and Bill dies, I think that there are going to
be things that come out about them.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Bill. I'm sorry, Yeah, that sounds pretty fair. It looks
like he died like ten years ago, though. I'm just anyway,
there's someone who like just died who was like, I'm sorry,
I don't know, Boilers, I'll look it up. I thought
somebody pretty big just recently died.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Annie, you are correct, she says, I believe it was
Jake Tapper that revealed FDR used a wheelchair. You guys,
I'm reading the Jake Tapper book Original Sin about the
Biden White House, and it is amazing, like ten out
of ten, no notes. It's incredibly entertating. It's entertaining in
the way that you know how you watch like trash

(46:22):
reality TV and you watch everything play out on the
screen and then you get like the insufferable main character
in a chair and like they tell you they did
their little sit down interview and they're like, yeah, so
I didn't punch him I was completely nice to him,
and you're like, I just saw you do the exact
opposite of that. But like the unreliable narrator is so
much fun. I'm having an absurdly good time reading the book.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
To read it then so completely unrelated to like what
we're talking about in the show, in conspiracies and stuff
like that. But Phil Robertson just died from dang. It
was a shown duck, dut d.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
I thought you were going to say what he died of,
and I was like Parkinson's ducks. But duck the Babbelon
did such a cute article about how he goes to
having and all the ducks are like sworn by angry ducks.
Oh yes, rest in peaceful rest, and ducks rest in ducks.
But another thing that I I want to in this rebrand,

(47:27):
I want to correct some ways that I think that
I went wrong, and we as a show went wrong
to an extent. And it's not that I think that
we were in terrible, terrible, deep error, but sometimes when
you just get a little bit, a little tiny bit
off the track, it's just the farther you go, the
more off the track you get. And I want to

(47:48):
correct it now. A big part of the reason I
want to change the name conspiracy Pilled is that I
don't want to be handing out conspiracy pills the point
of the show. I don't want the point of the
show to be taking normies and turning them into conspiracy
theorists because I don't like, like I've said, I don't

(48:09):
think having the identity of conspiracy theorist is helped. I
think that that when that's your identity, there's a tendency
to always be looking for your next hit of conspiracy,
like you need a new one, you need a new
theory of everything, you need something. It becomes an addiction,
and then there's pressure from the conspiracy community to buy

(48:30):
into every theory, especially the new trending ones. The new
trending theory hits and you have to buy that too,
And there's just this pressure and addiction that's pushing people
deeper and deeper into this unhinged place. And that's the
other thing. I don't want to get people unhinged. I
want the point of this show to be to take
an interesting topic, a topic that you're struggling with, a

(48:50):
topic that you're like, what's true here? Am I being
lied to, and I want to make sense of it
and make peace of it and help ground you and
help hinge it. And and we're grounding our listeners. So
so yeah, I don't want to be handing out conspiracy pills.
I don't want to be getting people unhinged. And that's

(49:11):
why we changed the name of our behind the Payball
show from Unhinged to Overdose. If you guys were around
for that paying attention and saw that change, it's only
a couple weeks, a couple of weeks old. So and
he says, also labeling it as conspiracy makes it easier
for people to be dismissed of what you're saying. Yeah,
sometimes that's the case. Sometimes that's the case.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
I don't know if we've talked about this, maybe we have.
Are we going to keep the name overdosed?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Yes? Yes, I think that that's been my instinct to
keep the name Overdose because it's it's kind of like
that call back to our original like it's part part
of the callback to our roots. But also I think
it's just kind of fun. It's just like, oh, it's
an overdose of Abbey and Liz and John, and it's
an alternative.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Lee overdose of all of the things that just happened
this last week.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Yeah, Gutsy says, can the bonus show be called conversely?
We can talk about it. That's actually a solid suggestion.
That would be really funny. He's hired.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Yeah, that sounds good.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Uh, Gypsy says, all the chat is cracking me up.
Just says all you guys are you guys are all
killing it tonight. I have never killed anyone otherwise one person, right,
but that didn't happen. But that didn't count.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Are we only including people?

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Well, it wasn't a person, define person.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
His laws.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
I don't believe your alibis. Well, I have several for redundancy.
Uh guts, he's back. I did not. Oh wait where
you gone? No, he's back as and he's back in
our good graces. Oh I think wait oh.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
For two show?

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Yeah anyway, anyway, anyway, okay, So yes, I I'm not
trying to make spiracy theorist. I am not a conspiracy theorist.
There are absolutely conspiracy theories that I think are really
interesting and that I do believe in, But I think
most of the time it's more like with the moon lanning,
I'm like, I think we landed on the Moon. I

(51:14):
think things happened. I think we faked the footage. I
think blah blah blah, and I'm like kind of just
adjacent in that. Alternatively, what I read, I think that
the Moon is sentient and ate one of the astronauts
and they had to bring back a doppelganger. There's, there's,
there's Let's actually wrote a really wild book called Planet

(51:38):
Because the main Okay, you can tell them about it.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
There is a theory that I was reading about the
moon that it was hollow, and I was considering like
looking further into that and then making a show on it.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
That would be fun all theory. But but yes, I
mean I did write a book called Planet Eyes, where
the planet is sentient and everything goes wrong when they're
trying to tear form it because I don't know that, yes,
and they'll die, they'll die the end. It was really crazy.
I read it. I think in two days. I was like,
what actually most of my readers did in one sitting
or two, which went straight directly to my head. Anyway,

(52:15):
maybe we should publish that one next after after Let's
do it. End of the World after party, Yeah, guys,
the final section of End of the World After Party
is live now and it is extremely it is extremely graphic.
I'm just gonna work. There's some there's some blood and guts,
and I'm not saying that figuratively. So doctor who did

(52:40):
a Hollow Moon episode, I don't even remember that. Yes,
the most well like spider like things I believe. Oh okay, yep,
I do vaguely remember that. Now it's been a while
since I since I watched it. But yeah, that I
mean that is another way that we have been outside
of conspiracy theories on our website where we've we've published
in installments this book that was wrote that's not like

(53:02):
it's about zombies, but it's not a conspiracy theory. It's yeah,
it's more of like a just the character as a
conspiracy theorist, right right. So we want to be able
to do more of that on the website, and we're
just gonna publish all of us. I'm just a volunteering
all of US's books, at least this one and Planetized.
I will promise that much, yes, but there are four

(53:22):
others that may or may not. Yes, anyway, and if
you guys have things that you want to I want
to publish. We're still accepting submissions. I can't promise you
that we'll put it up, but Funny says, the middle
ground is what I like. You're not afraid to look
at things that are weird and say there is something
going on there, but you're also not going cuckoo crazy
pants thinking every single thing is a lie. Yes, correct, nice, Yeah,

(53:46):
there's like the intuitively, there's like often there's the main
conspiracy theory, and there's the main narrative, and then there's
the secret third thing, which is the thing that I
think and I like. I like doing that. So alternatively,
what if we what if we did that? Alternative? But yes, sorry,

(54:06):
back to errors. I think that that we've I think
there were some errors even just in the naming of
the show that I want to get away from. But also,
and I think I've said this before on the show,
I think there's been an error with It's easy as
a Christian to instead of having your worldview defined by

(54:28):
God and scripture and the things that scripture focuses on,
and instead to have your worldview defined by spiritual warfare
and the demonic and spend your theory of everything is
the force of the forces of evil and what are
they up to when? And can we read their minds?
What are they going to do next? What's the demonic

(54:48):
prophecy Nephelum? And there's nothing wrong and with talking about Nephelim,
and there's nothing wrong with talking about something that we
think is demonic, and that's not going to stop being
the case. But I know that I know that I
got way too focused on the pantheons in the early

(55:10):
days of the show, and I think that there's been
many times over the course of the show that I
have gotten too focused on trying to read Satan's mind
and trying to get in Satan's head. And several months
ago I asked my pastor a question about, like do
you think Satan's planning on doing X Y Z or
something like that, and he was like, Abby, don't try
to get in Satan's head. And it like, I keep

(55:31):
thinking about that because it's something I fall into really easily.
But it is wrong to try to get in Satan's head.
It's wrong to try to think like a demon things.
It's wrong to try to search the scriptures of Satan,
search the scriptures of Satan. What is right is to
search God's scriptures and to ask for discernment and ask
for wisdom with how to deal with the spiritual warfare.

(55:53):
If you look at the Bible, it does talk about
demons and spiritual warfare and fighting evil and all that.
We're not going to begin to not do that. But
there's also very little said about the spiritual realm in
the Bible. It just it focuses on God, and it
focuses on Jesus and focuses on the good things. And
it's the same as as in banks. What they don't

(56:17):
want to fall for a counterfeit But I've heard that, yes,
but they don't focus when they're when when why I
have let's you tell this for some reason, I'm struggling
with words in banking. You may and may not know this.
I bank, I'm a banker. I'm known to do the
banking things because she's Jewish. Yes, the shekels they call
to me. But anyway, so actually this advice doesn't apply

(56:40):
to me as much because as a Jew, I just
naturally recognize when a sheckl is good. Also, we're dancing
in a circle. I love that. So they will show
you some markers of a counterfeit bill However, the best
and most tried and true way to find out if
something is counterfeit is to know what the real thing is.
So once you've handled a lot of the real thing,

(57:01):
you just instinctively know, Okay, the feel is right, like
the subtle details you only'll notice, like the red and
blue streaks and the linen that just kind of you
gloss over them. But all of a sudden, your handed
this thing, you're like, this doesn't quite look right, and
then you take another look and you're like, oh, yeah,
this is counterfeit. So you just have to you have
to know what the truth looks like, yes, instead of
focusing on the counterfeit.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
And I think that as we go forward, what we
want to do is focus on God's prophecy, and we
want to focus on who God is and and what
what good prophecy is, what what a good Christian life is?

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
And then when something is demonic, we're going to see
it really easily and we're going to buy be able
to identify it. But also in scripture, when when Jesus
or his disciples cast out demons, they just say demon
be gone, and the demon's gone. There's no like conversation
where they're like, demon, what's your name? What are you
here for?

Speaker 2 (57:52):
What do you?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
What do you do for a living? Like all this,
they're not interested in all at all in the demon
and what he's up to. It's just casting him. As
soon as they recognize that there's demon possession, they cast
it out. And that's kind of the path that we
want to take more moving forward.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Our pastor he's really cool. I might try to get
him on to do like a short book or the
Bible with me in a Bible study and hopefully you'll
enjoy that.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Yes, yes, we're trying to talk them into that. The
biggest thing what were you saying?

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Right before?

Speaker 1 (58:25):
My brain is a sieve looking too much of the demonic?
Oh yeah, it's gone, it's gone here, I'll let's seets.
Let's say no, no, no, you're fine, John, You're fine. I
forget stuff mid sentence. So there's that's I'm trying to
find the comment guts he was rephrasing, because okay, let's

(58:46):
see gus He says. I wanted to ask Farrizzle, if
we're moving away from conspiracy theories, are we going to
be looking into esoteric thoughts and how they try to
bastardize Scott's word. Yes, some let's see, and he said,
I want to rephrase because I basically reversed what Agby
said there. I've always liked cryptic shows. I like the
angle of starting from the word and then looking at
what they're doing. And I remember my thought it was
about the casting demons out and stuff, like a lot

(59:08):
of exorcisms. They'll spend time being like who are you?
What are you? And then they'll talk about all the
ways that demons affirm certain theology, and it's like, you
shouldn't be having a conversation with someone whose father is
the father of lies. You're not going to get any
good information from them. Why would you want, Like why
are you looking to them as if they can tell
you secret truth that God hasn't right? And also, the

(59:31):
best lie is the one that is like ninety eight
percent true. So a lot of lies get you because
they're so closely parallel to the truth. And this is
another reason why we need to focus on God and
the actual truth, because then you'll catch like the really
good counterfeits. And I think the error specifically that I've
fallen into is, oh, God didn't give us enough specificity

(59:52):
in the prophecy. But I want to know what's coming,
so I want to look at what the demons are
doing and try to use that to predict the future.
And that's just wrong. That's wrong, wrong, wrong, to be
trying to to predict the future by looking at demons.
Wrong on wrong. So there are things like that where
I am still introspecting about where exactly the lines are

(01:00:15):
and I want us all to be praying for discernment,
and I want you guys to call me out if
you think I've we're crossing a line. It's something I'm
going to continue to pray about. But it is one
thing that is a big reason. The error piece is
a big reason why we are archiving the majority of
the old shows. And we talked about this before that

(01:00:35):
we it is not our intention to erase anything. It
was a lot of work. I don't want to erase it.
But so the archives are going to be fully available
on Discord and nothing is being taken down off of locals.
So anytime somebody wants to go back through the old shows,
you want to find a link to an unlisted show
to send a friend, it's another reason to join the

(01:00:57):
Discord with those school cats.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Yeah, if there may be we that we make private
and then we were up, we upload a version that
we think is better. We yeah, or with words and
less dogs and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
So right that Liza and I are figuring out how
to talk about things with that. Accidentally, because our homeschooling episode,
the original docks everyone, we yeah, we set a lot
of names and places, to be fair, we didn't realize
one of them was actually on the Great British Bakoff
and just really easily globle. But actually when John believed

(01:01:35):
everything out, I left that particular in because because he
is actually famous, Yeah, because he's a public figure. Yeah.
We we were like talking, We were talking about this
guy we knew in Africa, and then we were like,
wait a second, he won the Great British Bakoff in
twenty nineteen. Also, he's no, he is well. He was
always well, yes, because I remember he was like a
ballet dancer, and I remember there was a part of

(01:01:56):
me that always wondered like, was he gay?

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
Are you saying that ballet answers are inherently gay? Abby?
Are you ostracizing an entire community?

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Yes? And if there are other communities we would like
to set forward. We will ostracize all of you. No,
not every bellied answer is gay, but the stereotype exists
for a reason. So anyway, any anyway, Yes, But for
the most part, episodes will stay up. But there are
things that I that there are a lot of conspiracy

(01:02:27):
theories that we've covered before that I want to go back,
do deeper research, do better research, cover again, and maybe
correct some of my thinking that has changed on some things,
because I do think some of my my thinking is
changed to some of my worldview has changed. And I
don't know if my positions of wild wildly changed, but
I do think there are ways I was looking at

(01:02:48):
the world that I want to pull back and look
get better. And I feel a heavy responsibility not to
lead you into the demonic and into chaos and into
the slippery slope that that I'm worried about. And I
have been really saddened to see certain members of the
community go down some of these really horrible paths. And

(01:03:09):
that's been something too. I've I've been like, am I
responsible for that? If? If this person was a core
member of my community and then a year after being
involved in the community, they are going down these horrible
pass Is that my fault. That's something that I want
to think about really heavily. So I know you made

(01:03:29):
a serious point, but I would also like to make
an additional serious point. When something like this happens, are
we well within our rights to kind of like do
conversion therapy on them, like shock therapy to get them
back on the right track, like for their own good Okay,
and ask a few of you. I'm just kidding. So
some specifics that you I don't want to like, I

(01:03:51):
don't want to set a new box because I think
I want to on alternatively on our new channel, our
same channel, new show, Yes, rebranded show. Here are some
examples of things that we might want to talk about.
But anytime I hyperfixate all the time, I get obsessively
interested in something. And if I get obsessively interested in something,
that's that's something I could do on the show, it's great.

(01:04:13):
And when I don't, it's like I don't want to
research for the show. I'm obsessively interested in this other thing,
and I want to be able to just talk about
whenever I'm obsessively interested in. So homeschooling obviously is one
that we've begun to talk about We've had really good
feedback from some of you, and so we want to
keep talking about it. Off and on. Let's see what

(01:04:34):
was the topic. Chat's moving so fast that if you
refer back to a previous comment, I don't know what happened.
It's probably talking about oh, leading people in dangers directions. Yep, yes, okay,
thank you. Religious things, there have been a handful of
Liza and I grew up in the church. We have
a lot of thoughts about church in ways that church

(01:04:55):
can go wrong, working through like hurt and and issues
with church and getting to a looking for a church
where you can trust people and working through that stuff.
We want to talk about Bethel Church and someone like
the weirdness there. We want to talk about the phenomenon
of King James version supremacy and like what might be

(01:05:16):
going into that driving that that is a little bit
more conspiracy theory.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Rich. Yeah, there's like entire passage out there who were like,
I can rewrite the Bible. It's not perfect, I can
rewrite it with a King James version.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
Yeah, there's stuff like that. I remember when we were
growing up, some guy met us like a conference and
gave us this little pamphlet called the NIV per Version,
and it was a pamphlet about how the King James
version was like the inspired word of God, that Jesus
personally uses that version, and then like all the reasons

(01:05:51):
why the NIV was evil. This random guy called for
Dad at one point, I want to say, I was
probably seventeen. I don't think you. I think you're at college.
And he was like, I don't know if he really
knew that that well, but he was like, do you
guys use KJV only at your church? And I was
like no, and he was like, here's why you shoud
And then I spent the next half hour wasting his
time by pretending to be stupid. And then I was like, oh, sorry,

(01:06:14):
that's not home, by the way.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
And then we're not for the record, we're not saying
that the KJV is inherently bad and the people who
enjoy it and who aren't like you can only read
the KJV. We're not like, you guys are cool. It's
just the extremists, the supremacist.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
We don't hate you. Infidel j for Ross has got
a roll. Peeps, have a great night. Thanks for coming.
I hope you tune back in later to hear the
rest of the show, because we've got some important stuff
in the in the back calf, don't miss it. But yes,
a good night. Enjoy your deck, Yeah, enjoy your new
deck whatever that means probably code for yeah something, but yes, uh.

(01:06:53):
And I want to talk about abuse in the church.
Things that they aren't conspiracy theories, they're just they're just
difficult topics. They're difficult topics to face the truth about.
I think that's one criteria for something that we would
cover on the show is what is an area in
which it is difficult to face the truth? But we should,
we should look at it, we should talk about it.
And I want to talk about things like what if

(01:07:13):
plants are sentient and can see us? And weird diseases
and phenomena from the past, and also are ghosts real?
What do we think about them? Yes, Yes, lots of
good stuff there. And there are then there are interviews
that I want to do that didn't make sense before.
There are there are friends of mine in in the
conservative spaces. Some of them are a little more or
a little bit less famous, But I have a lot

(01:07:35):
of friends who do some sort of content creation, whose
content I love, who's whose points of view about the
world I love, but that it it never made sense
to invite them on a conspiracy theory podcast because they
would be a little bit uncomfortable. They wouldn't know how to.
I mean, even when I had set Dylan on the show,
it was it was really fun, but it was also like, yeah,

(01:07:57):
what do I do here? I'm not a conspiracy theorist
all and I want to there to be room to
have really cool people on uh and do that sort
of thing. So that's something, but I just generally I
want to I want to focus on our relationship with
the truth, and I want to do some practical solutions
to where we're not just talking about theory, where we're
talking about some practical stuff like prepping mm hm and

(01:08:18):
how to not get the babonic plague.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Yes, practically, at some point we might put out a
how to make mead recipe Ooh that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:27):
Could be cool. Yes, that would be really good. Yeah,
so some some practical stuff. I have a friend who's
who's very much a prepper. I would love to get
him on to interview him about about prepping. I know
it's Arizona, Matt, what is familiar.

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
It's fine. I know I'll follow him, he follows me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
So we were talking about the archive a little bit before,
back to that. The full archive will be accessible on
Discord and locals on Rumble, there'll be a limited archive.
We're going to keep up a handful of our favorite episodes.
H and if you want to nominate some favorite episodes
on on in Discord, we can. We'll consider keeping those up.

(01:09:08):
Episodes that we're I'm really proud of. I'd love to
kind of have there to be able to refer back
to stuff like that. So, like Liz is a Lisa
Lamb episode, I don't want to get rid of that.
What about the free to connect one. I think most
of US's episodes we'll be part of the limited archive
on Rumble, and we'll just retitle them like Conspiracy Pilled archive,

(01:09:31):
so they're kind of differentiable from the rest of the show,
but they're still there. I think swim Mug early said
the show formerly known as Conspiracy Pill the show for yes, exactly.
And then for the audio platforms, we're going to make
a decision at some point whether we're going to keep
all or some up on the audio platform So for now,
everything's going to stay to stay up, and.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
We'll probably make that decision towards the end of the year.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Yeah. Yeah, there are some things that we're not in
a in a big old hurry to make massive changes
that it's going to be vance exactly. There's a very
real sense in which I want a clean slate, but
I also don't want to like erase all the work
in the memories and all that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
So there wants me to dox us.

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
Yeah, DM about that about the mead Also, I would
just like to stop like hiding. What we're really trying
to talk about is that Abby is getting a sex change.
She wants a clean slate.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Wait, so are we saying that she's no longer going
to be gay she just can be trains?

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
Yes, and Annie, you're so right. Okay, So when we
picked the name Conspiracy Pilled, we did not imagine that
people would use the would try to abbreviate it CP
and say, I've been watching a lot of CP lately.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
Yeah, has anybody done that?

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
So so bad?

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
I am trying to run so far and so fast
away from that acronym. And I felt really bad too,
because somebody would say it and I would be like, please,
don't they be like I'm sorry, and they never realize
they're doing it. I don't want to make people feel
bad and make people feel awful for using an acronym.
Welcome new fan. Did you know you just admitted to
something awful? But I think it's just basically my fault

(01:11:12):
for having a title that has that acronym and not
realizing that before it was too late to change it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:20):
We have memes. We probably should watch memes before the
second half.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
Yeah, I have. I have a couple more administrative things
to get to and then we can do memes and
then we'll launch into the time to make more memes.
In the last call for memes. So that's the archive paywall.
We're still going to keep doing the Thursday night show.
It's called Overdose. It's going to be the same as
it's been. We're talking about maybe moving into Saturday. That

(01:11:46):
might work better for our rhythm of life, might.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
Get renamed controversially conversely.

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
Controversially, so let us know if Saturday might work for you.
We've been trying to throw around ideas of how this
can work with our schedule is a little bit better
because the original shows schedule was very much built on
me that didn't have kids, and also built on pj's schedule,
and neither of those things makes sense anymore for being

(01:12:16):
the reason why we have the schedule we have so well,
we may or may not move it to Saturday, but
then we want to also do this experiment where we
put the audio for that paywall show out on our
audio platforms. And the reason this is an experiment is
that we very much need the money that is coming

(01:12:39):
from locals, but at the same time, we hate that
so many of you are excluded. We know that a
lot of you are not flush with cash and can't
justify paying for another subscription. Everything's a subscription. There's so
many subscriptions. I get it, and I know a lot
of you are sad that you aren't able to participate

(01:13:00):
in that show, and so we want to we want
to do a little experiment and see if it if
it works, to put that audio out on the audio
platform so you can at least know what we talked about.
You would get it a dayly. You wouldn't have the
live but you would have.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
It have some ads in there.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Yeah, it's definitely going to have ads. But John has
been working to make the ads a little bit more,
a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (01:13:26):
Yeah, the recommendation from Spreaker, the website that pushes out
o our audio platform. I want to and looked at
how they did the ads and the ad spacing and
you guys, everybody, uh, you were right. There was a
lot of ads. So I'm doing some stuff to change

(01:13:47):
things up in space out the ads just a little
bit more. Reduced the number that are there no pre
roll ad like just just get you straight into the episode.
So hopefully you guys will enjoy that in preciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:14:01):
Yeah. Also, and Annette or any sorry, that's a very
good point. We could call a new show. It's a party.
There's no way to misinterpret that. Guts He says, I
missed the new schedule. Are they trying to put us out?
There's no new schedule yet. We are talking about maybe
moving the Thursday night show to Saturday, but that's just

(01:14:22):
a maybe. You guys get to weigh in on it.
It's really just going to be whatever day. Gutty Mustard
is not available, is it, yes, specifically yes, and he
says he's not available Saturday night, so we'll take that
into consideration.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Yeah, so we'll we'll be we'll be doing that. We'll
be putting the overdose episodes out on Spreaker so everybody
can can partake them, at least for the moment. They
We're still only going to have those up on on
locals behind the paywall, and if Spreaker is able to

(01:14:56):
to cover what what we're making on locals, well can
we'll consider probably going away from from locals having everything
behind behind a paywall. You guys can still choose to
support us there, because we love your support. If you
guys want to support us, I mean, that's it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
We're not going to say no to shekels. Yeah, if
we're able, if we're able financially and uh in a
couple of months to just put the whole live on
on Rumble and make it completely available to all you
and and we're able to make enough off of ad
revenue to pay our bills and stuff like that, that's
definitely something that's on the table for consideration. Right now,
we can't do that, but but in the future, we

(01:15:32):
don't really want to milk you because we're not really
into like monstrous mud anymore. So there's a reference in there,
but if you guys don't get it, it's because God loves.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
You, or you haven't been here super long.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
Yeah, or the god he says you're gonna miss me,
trying to get Agby to say ooh again, you got me,
He got me. Okay, pre recording. We've talked about this
a little bit, but here's what you can expect. This
just has to do with two babies being in this
house and the chaos of John's schedule and stuff like this. Wow,

(01:16:09):
my brain just died. Okay, powering down. Our preference is
to be with you live and at whatever season change
in life we're able to be live, we're going to
be live. But pre recording and being willing to pre
record means that we can give you more content, more
consistency with the content, more interviews with people who aren't

(01:16:30):
able to do that timeframe. So when we pre record something,
sometimes we're going to pre record a Wednesday. Sometimes we're
going to pre record something that you're not used to
seeing pre recorded, but we'll still premiere it live so
that you can be live in the chat, and as
often as we can, we'll be live in the chat
with you on those nights that we're putting out a
pre recorded episode. But John has all of June off

(01:16:52):
for paternity leave, but then afterward he on the nights
that he's at work until we get getting in on
a sleep schedule. We're going to need to pre record
some of the Wednesday nights so it heads up on that.
In the meantime, we'll just use our preougdation to know
what you guys are going to say in live chat,
so we can still react as if it is real. Yes,
and this is the Bible streams for now, we're going
to be pre recording all the Bible streams. We've kind

(01:17:14):
of gotten into that rhythm recently and we kind of
want to announce it more more fully as every Monday
night there will be a Bible study. It will be
pre recorded for the time being. For a long time,
we've been saying we want to make this priority, we
want to be consistent, but it's been impossible to make
a live Bible stream a third live in the week

(01:17:34):
to be a consistent thing.

Speaker 2 (01:17:36):
And with another fifty Oh my goodness, I thought you left.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
No, I think it popped.

Speaker 2 (01:17:43):
Am I looking at an old Yeah, it's about.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
To expire on the top of the screen. But speaking
of shekels, the dad man would like to know which
method gets us the most percentage of shekels? Oh, shoot,
don't shoot, we asked just an honest question. You have
to kill.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
I'm sorry what I wasn't What was the question?

Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
Which method of supporting us gets us the most percentage
of shekels or the spreaker get the most?

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
So supporting us through Rumble as a supporter on Rumble,
you don't really get anything out of it aside from
like a little a little badge that gets that gets
us the most percentage.

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
Yeah, and then because.

Speaker 2 (01:18:26):
Locals take right now, we get one hundred percent of
the five dollars from each person for for the month.
And then on on locals, we only get a percentage
of the five dollars, not the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
Yeah, and then Rumble rents are pretty good, but they
take a percentage. But I think the worst one is
tips on locals. I think that's the one they take
the most.

Speaker 2 (01:18:49):
Well, tips on locals and then doing subscribing on locals
using a phone, not using it like an actual web browser,
because there's a whole coin thing and it really there,
you guys pay more and we don't make as much profit.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
So yeah, there's also our Only Fans, which is dedicated
solely to pictures of monkey's feet, not the feet of monkeys.
Monkey man, a monkey, and a monkey sends us feet
pictures and then we post them on our own. I
break into his house and I take pictures of feet.
I don't think he knows that we have those. Yeah,
that's that's how that is. This is not the only

(01:19:27):
only Fans joke in this episode, because the video that
we pre recorded that we're going to play for you,
this joke about that in there too, So I'm so
glad we get it twice. Okay, Bible Streams. It'll be
every Monday evening seven Eastern is when it'll premiere. We'll
be in the chat to talk to you about about it.
We just finished up Exodus this week. The next one

(01:19:47):
we're tackling is Luke. Luke will be John and I
and we'll switch back and forth books so uh with John, Yeah,
with John or Liz being the co host, So we'll
do all of Luke and that it'll be John and
I doing, and then Liz and I will do the

(01:20:08):
next one we're planning to do is a combination of
Hebrews and Leviticus, so we'll do a chapter of Hebrews
and then Leviticus. So that's what you can expect with that.
And I love that we're not bound to a conspiracy
book anymore. We can do any book of the Bible.
Are we going to do a song of Solomon? We
I was just thinking about that we could. And then

(01:20:31):
one thing we're going to try out kind of as
a experiment, is for the Bible streams to have their
own YouTube channel, so they'll still the Bible streams will
still be mixed in with everything on our main Rumble channel.
They'll still be mixed in with everything on our audio channel,
audio channels, Spotify and all that, but on YouTube, we're
going to try to have it be its own YouTube

(01:20:53):
channel because then it's protected from being deboosted along with
our conspira se content. I think that YouTube and the
way that the YouTube algorithms work, we might be able
to have some success there that we wouldn't have it
if it's tied in with the other stuff, and we
might be able to lure some new types of people

(01:21:15):
over to the main show or just I know there's
a lot of our listeners who really aren't just only
here for the Bible streams, or at least that's that's
the thing that they prefer, And so there'll be a
channel for people who are like, that's all they're interested
in and they don't have to read through everything else.
So I think we're going to have it have a
separate name from I don't think we're going to call
it Alternative Bible Study. So if you guys have something

(01:21:37):
to pitch for that we can alter.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
Because we don't really want to give out the alternative
story of the Bible because that.

Speaker 1 (01:21:45):
That name doesn't sound quite right.

Speaker 2 (01:21:48):
Yeah for it gross Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
Also, Sata has fact checked us. He said that he
requested acts, not Luke. So it seems like we've already
pulled out and we no longer care about the truth
and the narrative is suddenly being read written.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
Well, we we are. We are getting to Luke or AX.
We're just doing oh yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:22:06):
Well, satyr As our intention to do AX because of
your request is the reason we're doing Luke. So Luke
Luke wrote Luke and AX AX is the sequel. We
have to we have to do Luke first.

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
So isn't Star Wars.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
But yes, it is absolutely our intention to do acts
very very very soon. She would just like to intentionally
delay it because you requested it. This is blasphemy.

Speaker 2 (01:22:28):
Yeah, and also like just it makes sense to do
the store, to do the story of Jesus and like
the foundation of the Church before, Yes, the story of
Jesus before the foundation of the church.

Speaker 1 (01:22:42):
Yes, so anti Bostamas Brove. I love dad. Man is
heading out for dinner. See you later. You love dinner
more than us. Rumble Creator program. We are still actively
trying to decide if we're staying in or not, because
that's been a complicated thing. Uh, Rumble Creator program was
the reason John was doing all these extra game streams.

(01:23:02):
But then John has discovered that he really liked doing
the game streams. But it also makes sense for some
of that to be on separate channel. So, like he said,
he has a separate Yeah, I don't want to rumble
And I.

Speaker 2 (01:23:14):
Threw that that channel into the description and yeah, it
rumbles has somewhat of an algorithm. So I think it'll
probably help that channel in this channel grow more if
it's not streamed to this channel.

Speaker 1 (01:23:29):
Yeah, yeah, and I think it'll be it's its own channel.
On YouTube as well, So we're trying to put a
little bit more focused on YouTube. We've talked about this
a little bit before. We don't want to put ourselves
in a position where we're censoring ourselves or or anything
like that. But having all our eggs in the rumble
basket has been a problem, and in the last couple

(01:23:52):
of months that has really really hurt us, and we've
discovered how much it hurts us. Arwen five five seven
says Bible based as a pitch for a name because
taken into account, jotted down, noted, thank you, so, so
a little bit more focused on YouTube and being very
careful about how we do that, and then social media presence.

(01:24:15):
We've we've come to the decision that as much as
it's nice to do clips and reels and put them
on Instagram and TikTok, that that it's it's hurting our
family to spend the amount of time on that that
needs to be spent on that. So for now we're
going to shut down the Instagram and the TikTok and
we're just going to hold off on that until we

(01:24:35):
have appropriate bandwidth to do something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:38):
Shut down as in, we're just gonna not make content
for them. We don't have a whole production team. It's
it's the three of us and we're putting together episodes,
and I'm doing a lot of the administrative stuff, and
it's Abby's taken care of two babies, and I've got
a job, and Liz's has a and it's, yeah, we

(01:25:01):
don't have a whole team.

Speaker 1 (01:25:02):
So yeah, sometimes I can work on my show at
the job while I'm balancing set, speaking, be working on shows.
Second to last thing, second to last thing I wanted
to talk about tonight, which that's a little bit deceptive
because the last thing is an hour long, so this
show is not almost over. But the second to last

(01:25:27):
thing is the vaccine series. And I have to kind
of confess mistakes about this as as you most of
you know, I did an over arching vaccine conversation episode
at the beginning, and then I said, I'm going to
deep dive into each individual shot. And I've done two
episodes now where I was deep diving into a couple
of shots per episode, and I've been working on the

(01:25:48):
third one, and the idea was good that it's important
to deep dive on each individual shot. The problem is
I have to even when I'm deep diving into each
individual shot, I have to pick and choose what to say,
and when it's too heavy of a responsibility, and I

(01:26:12):
feel completely unqualified to pick and choose what to tell you.
And if I read off every possible side effect for
each shot, that's a really boring episode and every bad
thing that could possibly happen, even in the remotest chance,
and we don't even know how much the chance is.

(01:26:33):
But I also feel like I'm leaving something out, and
so I want to back up from my plan, cancel
my plan about the Vaccine series. I want to finish
my research with just several more books long, because that's
the other mistake that I made, was I have been
reading more and more books as I've gone along, and
so in some way, some of my opinions have changed,

(01:26:56):
or some of my approach to things have changed as
I've gone along. So I'm definitely going to halt the
process of the Vaccine series, delete the old episodes, and
then once in a few months, when i've once I've
completely finished my research, i want to kind of re
record that series so that there will be a complete

(01:27:19):
Vaccine series and the things that I've promised will be
covered on the channel, but I'm gonna do it a
little bit differently and just kind of put a pin
in that hold on to it. I'm not giving up
on it, but I do want to do it better,
and we're I've been doing it. We still need the polio. Yes,
I do want to talk about the coolio conspiracy and
I have to read that book. So yes. So that's

(01:27:40):
that's the status of the Vaccine series. I just want
to do it better and that's certainly been part of
just all my thought processes about what i want this
show to be, uh and how responsible I want to be,
especially when I'm presenting something like a health thing like that,
where it's it's so important I get things right and
I present you with which truth or access to truth,

(01:28:01):
and and don't lead you down wrong paths and things
like that. So that's where we're at with that. Okay, finally,
finally there is a video.

Speaker 2 (01:28:12):
It's not yet we got memess. I can pull them
up here.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
John's pulling up memes. Which ones are the ones that
Sayer made because I'm not seeing the most specifically where
are they? It's showing But it's only like on a
tiny part.

Speaker 2 (01:28:34):
Of the There we go. H that, Uh that's reasonable.
Had we change the space? I don't know, there we
go perfect, Well, we'll get to this is.

Speaker 1 (01:28:58):
This one was first, So this is yeah, this is
this is as Yeah, yes, this is.

Speaker 2 (01:29:05):
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Did you
just call me Satan? Very good? I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:12):
That reminds me of my favorite pickup, lind, which is
does your did you fall from heaven? Because your face
is real? Left up? Or someoneered it?

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:29:22):
I see? Okay? Yeah me no fits in no box.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
Fits a answered s Yeah, also funny. Also, yeah, we've
outground the box of being strictly an anti Semitic conspiracy
theory show because we're not so perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:29:42):
New logo for the show conspiracy crossed out and then.

Speaker 2 (01:29:48):
We could we can actually we could just do that
up until like from now until we get like the
actual one so much.

Speaker 1 (01:29:57):
Later makes it better? Two? Oh, do you not have
the type on this one? You fixed it the type?
It would have been better. I don't see a typo.
He says that he realized you had ones.

Speaker 2 (01:30:07):
Maybe he real uploaded all right, there's an extra L
after e.

Speaker 1 (01:30:15):
Alternatively, no, that's not be there.

Speaker 2 (01:30:17):
Correct, all right, I don't know I'm being dumb.

Speaker 1 (01:30:20):
Are there more? Are there more?

Speaker 2 (01:30:23):
I believe that? Is it? Just? Three?

Speaker 1 (01:30:26):
Okay? Well everybody? Yeah, body wait on tool next up, next,
we're gonna stay. We're gonna stay in live chat with you.
We're gonna we're staying right here. But from now through
the end of the stream, we're gonna play our long
video that Liz and I pre recorded. We're gonna explain

(01:30:47):
in the video what the video is. So I'm not
going to introduce it any further, but thank you guys
so much for being with us, because I won't see
you live anymore, but yes, we'll still be in the chat.
Love you guys, And here you go. Hello, and welcome
to a special conspiracy pilled recording bonus like special as

(01:31:10):
an ad or special as in like what my mom
says I am. I'm not sure if we're going to
post this, but there's just there's been some stuff on
my chest for that. At least right now, the twenty
fourth and will keep the day twenty five feels like

(01:31:32):
I have to get off and maybe I will just
record this and then it'll be off and I won't
ever feel the need to post it, and maybe maybe
I will. I'm going to run it by John, John
and Liz and let them help decide on that. So
if you're seeing this, we decided to post it. I'm
going to be talking about when PJ left the show,

(01:31:56):
which was eight October, nine months ago. It was in October.
It was like it was it was many months ago,
many months ago. And for some of you, I don't
think you were even maybe here then. So for those
of you who don't want to hear about that, don't.

Speaker 2 (01:32:15):
This is just.

Speaker 1 (01:32:15):
This is going to be personal. This is going to
be just. It's not mandatory viewing. Yeah, it's not mandavatory viewing.
If if you don't want to hear this, please I
won't be offended. We won't even hunt you for sport,
and it won't come up again.

Speaker 2 (01:32:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:32:30):
But for those of you who are still here, who
who want to be here, I want to maybe fill
in some of the blanks, things that I didn't say
at the time. And this is more, I think, just
for me than than anything I think I've I've been
living with this for so long that I just I
just need somebody to know some closure. I agree, some closure.

(01:32:53):
I think is really where we're at. So rewinding, rewinding
to the very very beginning. When PG and I started
Conspiracy Pilled, we hadn't known each other very long at all.
We met via Twitter, but I he invited me to
do an interview on his show, Wartime Propaganda, and I

(01:33:14):
did and we talked afterward, and we discovered we both
loved conspiracy theories, and that he had had a conspiracy
theory show prior that had been somewhat successful, and that
he expressed that he was really sad had ended, and
that he was really dying to get back to it.
And so the next day, after I had thought about it,
so I was like, you know what, I have also
been really interested in starting a show like this. I've

(01:33:36):
been wondering if that was something I was called to,
and this seems this seems maybe like God's will if
you're if you're down for it, That's kind of how
the conversation went. And for I want to say a month,
we we talked every day, making sure we're on the
same page theologically, politically, kind of introducing our families a

(01:34:01):
little bit, sort of like an interview process almost, yeah,
making sure the idea was like making sure we're on
the same page enough to do something like this, and
we were very, very excited about it. Came up with
a name, designed the show, and then we created new
platforms for most things. But he had had a couple

(01:34:25):
platforms I think YouTube and Instagram from before that he
repurposed and we got started and we met a lot
of you guys along the way, and it was really
really wonderful and I loved it. And from the very
beginning it was known to both of us that I

(01:34:45):
do not have a technological bone in my body. I
would never have begun a video podcast on my own.
It was never going to happen. That I had the
ability to get behind a microphone and talk. I had
the ability to research and write and the ability to
like connect with people and interview people and that kind
of stuff. That was my skill set. But though still

(01:35:06):
a boomer, but that but that the other side of podcasting,
the technological side of podcasting, I was never gonna be
able to do. And he was like, no problem, because
I do. I knew how to do that, and I
like it. And I was like, wonderful, this is a
this is a perfect podcasting match. And uh, as I
was kind of looking through his old stuff, getting to know,

(01:35:28):
getting to know his old his old work, getting to
know his process. Before we started up, I noticed that
there were a bunch a lot, both kind of in
the public record and in our conversations, a lot of
old podcasts that he had done, of different types, with
different co hosts and different ideas behind them. Also not

(01:35:49):
all conspiracy, not all conspiracy. I think one was about
like beer with his just with buddies or friends or relatives. Perhaps.
I think one was about movies. I know one was.
One was a like very conservative, like interview type show

(01:36:11):
with like they sold T shirts on the side. One
was conspiracies. One was called Broody and the Beast, and
then one was called Wartime Propaganda. And Wartime Propaganda and
Brudy and the Beast were the most recent ones, and

(01:36:35):
they seemed like they had just ended, if if not,
wartime Propaganda actually still continued. It was just him talking
to the camera. Sometimes he had some guests, but but
that was so he I think he dropped that pretty
early in our in our podcasting career. And but Broodie
and the Beast I had questions about because it was

(01:36:56):
very recent, and and I said you know, what is this?
What what happened here? And he did this show with
a girl named brew who if you were around for
some of our Diddy episodes, she actually did come on
the channel a few months back and as a guest,
and I think that they mostly talked about politics, but

(01:37:16):
they I think some of the conspiracy side of politics
to like Epstein stuff, that stuff that she's interested in.
And he told me that she she she became disinterested
in doing the show, that she flaked out on him,
and that it fell off because of that, but that
they were still really close friends. That's what he said
to me at the time. And I asked him, I said,

(01:37:37):
it kind of with your track record with with with podcasting,
because he had said the same thing about his co
host with the conspiracy show, that eventually she had she
had flaked out on him, that she wasn't really interested
in like being a conservative in the conspiracy space, and
that there was some mismatch of povision. Was it political

(01:37:59):
for that or am I thinking, Yeah, I don't think
that's what That's what he said. And I've never talked
to her too to know otherwise, So and I said,
it looks like a little bit from your track record,
like it's potentially true that you really like starting things,
but you don't really commit to them long term. And
he said, I can see why you would think that,

(01:38:19):
but that's not true. He said, I am always the
last one standing in every endeavor that I always He
was like, I was in a band and my bandmates
flaked on me, and I was the one trying to
hold it together and they flaked on me. And in
each of these shows, I was the one trying to
keep it going and they're the ones who lost interest
and flaked on me. And this was the story that

(01:38:42):
I did not do my due diligence to fact check.
I believed him. Well, I mean, it's not like you're
usually gonna go out and interview these people. And at
the same time, this was somebody who presented as a
strong Christian, strong believer, a kindred spirit in so many ways,

(01:39:04):
somebody I thought I was very like minded with, and
we had built a strong friendship very very quickly, and
so I believed him. And several months later, once we
had like really gotten going with the show, it was
like December. It was my first time meeting him in person.

(01:39:24):
We went my husband and I went and stayed at
his house with his wife and kids for the week
after Christmas. I think the week between Christmas and years
is something like that. And at that time, he expressed
grief that he and Brew had had a falling out
in their friendship and the reason he gave why in

(01:39:45):
front of his wife me John. He said it to
all of our faces. He said that she had fallen
in love with him and that that was why their
friendship had broken, and that he was very sad about it,
but that she didn't want anything to do with him
anymore because of that. After PJ left the show, were
reached out to me. Brew followed me on Instagram and

(01:40:08):
reached out to me. And I found out that that
that was a lie, that that was not true. Maybe
not a lie. It's possible that PJ believed, like genuinely
believed that she had fallen in love with him, but
that that was not true, and that it was not
true that she had flaked on him, that that he
had first approached her to be a part of this podcast,

(01:40:29):
and and he benefited from her audience. This is her story,
of course, benefited from her audience, made a bunch of
I think this is on Twitch at the time, but
a bunch of tips off of her audience and then
iced her out of the show. There was there was,
I guess there was. One day she said that she

(01:40:50):
was unable to podcast with him as planned because she
had an infestation of spiders in her room. Uh. And
I think that's a pretty good excuse for not being
bought a podcast with someone. But from that point on,
she said that he he iced her out. First he said,
I'm just going to do this episode without you, and
then he just wouldn't allow her to come on again.

(01:41:11):
And she was like, well, that's fine. He was the
one who approached me in the first place. He's the
one who needed the leg up. I didn't. I didn't
need this, So she let it go. But he never
paid her her half of the tips that he made
off her audience. And then he of course lied to
me about that situation, dispar her character, disparaged her yeah, yeah,
told me that she had fallen in love with a

(01:41:31):
married man and uh and and that she had flaked
on him and and all these things. So this, this
was these were the lies that I started off, started
out the relationship with PJ with and I had I
have insecurities about friends walking away, about friendships just growing

(01:41:56):
growing cold people I cared a lot about who who
didn't really express that they had an issue with me
up until the very last moment when they were like,
I want nothing more to do with you. And these
were situations where I was like, I wish so much
that you had just told me that you had an
issue instead of letting it build up for months and
then reaching the point where you were done with me.

(01:42:16):
I wish you had just told me that and given
me a chance to fix it, because I would have
fixed fixed it. And Abby is very autistic and very dense,
so you need to tell I'm not going to pick
up on subtle hints. Yes, And this was the case
with each of these relationships. It's actually not that long
of a list, but it hit me really hard in
like outside of college and my young adult years that

(01:42:38):
I had a couple of really close girlfriends who I
was dense and insensitive about a topic and they didn't
say anything, and then they were like, you're you're a
toxic person. And one of them said that, and I
was like, oh my gosh, I would have made this
right if you had given me the chance, but you didn't.
And so these were insecurities that I rest to PJ.

(01:43:01):
Throughout our friendship. There were there are times where Cactus
can back me up on this, that she was in
the room when all three of us were talking about
our insecurities about these issues, and we all expressed that
we had sadness that relationships had ended in the past,
and that we didn't know what had gone wrong, or
we wish we had done something differently, or whatever it was.

(01:43:23):
And PJ expressed many, many, many times that he was
always the last one standing in his relationships, that he
never gave up on people, that they were always the
ones to walk out on him, but that he never
ever did that, and he promised me many times that
he would never ever do that, so it really shocked
me when he did. Yeah. We did the show for

(01:43:51):
about three years, I want to say, yeah, yeah, And
during that time we had many conversations about how I
was struggling with whether or not I wanted to be
a mother, and he encouraged me that children are wonderful
and I should go for it. And of course that
was not a decision I made with PJ, but I

(01:44:13):
certainly had the moral support of a friend of the
person who had the time was my best friend who
I did this show with because I loved doing the show.
I always did this show because we just loved doing it.
We loved getting together and talking and we didn't care.
I didn't care that it wasn't making money. I just
loved doing it. It was a wonderful hobby, a wonderful

(01:44:35):
side gig. As it started to gain support, gained the community,
and I love the community that we were able to
build around it. I think you guys are the coolest.
We love you guys, Yes, especially those of you who
are still here listening to this, because I know it's
probably not fun at all. It's not fun for me
to have lived to right Where was I? Oh? Yes, kids? Okay, yes,

(01:45:04):
So then I a couple two some two summers ago, now, yeah,
PJ and his kid, one of his kids came and
stayed a week at our house, and during that time
we kind of caught a vision. I thought. I thought,

(01:45:27):
together as a pair of families, uh, that the thing
that we really needed to like the show was like
kind of on the brink of really being amazing and
catching steam, and that the thing that we really needed
to to get to the next level was to be
in the same location, have a have a studio. And
we got talking about this dream of having this little

(01:45:50):
farm together and commune compilled commune. John and I would
have our house, He and his family would have his house,
Liz would have her house, a little hermitage. This is
a little hermitage, and whoever, whoever else God brought along
the way with us, we were. This was the division
we caught and it I believed at the time, and

(01:46:13):
I believed for a long time, for more than a year,
that that was prophetic, that that was something that God
was bringing to us, and that we were working toward
together and that we were on the same page. That
so let's see he was. He was at our house
for a week, and then that was July. Was that
when we saw the the movie that came out, not

(01:46:36):
Sound of Freedom, Sound of Freedom. Oh yeah, Sound of Freedom. Yeah,
that was Sound of Freedom. Yeah, because I watched that
with you guys. Yeah, yeah, you spent some time with us.
That was also when we went to like Cornhenge in
in Ohio as part of that trip, because basically I
flew up there. We did some like conspiracy tour stuff

(01:46:56):
in Detroit and documenting and talking about it. And then
I drove down with well PJ drove but him and
his son, and we visited Cornhenge, and I thought we
visited maybe one other place, but I can't remember. Was
there a statue of a deer? M I think. I
think we talked about visiting more places, but we didn't.
It doesn't matter, It doesn't matter. And then we stayed

(01:47:17):
at my place for a week, which is where we
hung out with Liz, we hung out with my husband,
all of that. So it was so see that was July.
In August, I got pregnant with Esau and it was
wonderful and also really really hard because I got very,
very sick. I was very sick for like four months straight,

(01:47:42):
and PJ and I had had a trip schedule to
go out to California to go to that conference. If
you were here, you remember when we went to that, yeah,
with Graham Hancock and g B. Corsetti and all that.
And I remember being so scared for weeks and weeks
and weeks that I wasn't going to be feeling better
enough by the time we got there, that I wasn't
going to be miserable on then trip, and act I wasn't.
I was miserable on that trip. I threw up multiple

(01:48:03):
times on that trip. But that was just what was
happening behind the scenes. During that time we visited babelon Behead.
It was a fun trip. I still think of it
with with with most it's they're complicated memories now, but
at the time, it was a good trip. Yeah, it

(01:48:24):
was the height of me trusting him to to to
be very pregnant, and not very pregnant, but pregnant, very sick,
very vulnerable on that trip and and he was a
good friend to me. And then that December, so just
a couple of months, because that was in the fall,
I believe, Yeah, that sounds right. That December, we we decided, okay,

(01:48:46):
we've we've been talking about this, this dream and vision
and praying about it, and and John was completely on board.
I was like, it's time we sat down with John
and Pj's wife Piana, and we just like vision board
this thing. And so I still have an Excel spreadsheet
of when we sat We sat down and we talked

(01:49:07):
about what animals we wanted on the farm and what
what vegetables we wanted in the garden and how John
wanted bees, and I thought I wanted goats, but Dianna
was like, I've had goats before and that does not
sound fun. And I was like, okay, I can be
flexible on the goats, Satan. And it was very There
was a lot of specifics. We talked through a lot
of specifics of this dream and we prayed together, and

(01:49:30):
at the time I saw little something on Dianna's face,
and I wasn't sure what it meant, but I saw
some hesitancy there that later I came to find and
to realize, was that she was not down with this
at all, that she was not remotely on board with
this plant. But at the time we vision boarded together,
we prayed together, and I didn't have much more than

(01:49:53):
that little hint that something might be off. No one
explicitly said, no one explicitly said that she wasn't on board.
In fact, sheep she participated with with with the dreaming
of such that I was like, I think she. I
think she did communicate that like, oh, moving will be
hard for me, which I was like, yes, totally fair.
Movie is really hard for me too. I hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:50:13):
But like.

Speaker 1 (01:50:15):
The dream is worth it, the vision is worth it.
And I thought that that all all of us were
on the same page. And somewhere after that, I entered
my my third trimester, second third trimester. Somewhere in there,

(01:50:36):
PG started treating me like shit. And I'm not here
to sit here and litigate things. That's not the point
of this. I want. I want you to understand what
we what I've lived through in the past couple of
years with the show, and and how this show has
intera intersected with my life in ways that you, as

(01:50:59):
the listeners and watchers, had probably very little, little to
no idea. You wouldn't have had any reason to be
privy to it. Yeah, I cried a lot, and I
was pregnant, and there were times where I was like,
can you just go easy on me? I'm pregnant. I'm like,
I know, my emotions are kind of big right now.

(01:51:21):
I'm not trying to be unkind to you. I'm not
trying to overstep, I'm not trying to like, I'm just
trying to get through this pregnancy that's been pretty hard.
And and PJ was going through a lot with the flood,
and that the flood was a big part of the
reason why he started being really, really unkind. We had

(01:51:41):
some miscommunications and I overstepped and then apologized profusely. I
was never unkind to him, but he was incredibly mean
to me about it. But we have been talking so
much up until that point about like, when is the
moment going to be where it's time to move time

(01:52:01):
to time to start pushing forward into this vision that
what God's trying to provide for us. And we kind
of were using that like image from Prince Caspian of
when Aslan calls Lucy and the others don't hear the
other Pevensey kids don't see him, don't hear him, but

(01:52:23):
she knows that he's called her over the gorge and
there is a path, but she just couldn't see it
right away, and the others couldn't see it. And anyway,
if if you've read, yeah, if you've read the book,
what happens is they they waste a lot of time
and energy trying to ignore Aslan and gas Lucy that
she saw him. But then ultimately they have to come

(01:52:45):
back to the same spot and cross the gorge. And
so one of the things we kept saying, I kept
saying in our conversation, which at every moment I believed
PG and I to be completely on the same page
about and I believe and Diana to be completely on
this same page about. Because John was on the same
page about it, I thought all of us were talking. Again,
no one had said to the contrary. And so I

(01:53:10):
use that metaphor of like I don't want to I
don't want to miss it, Like if it's time to
cross the gorge, it might be really scary, but like
I don't want to miss it. And John and I
communicated many times that like when it's when it's the
right time, you whatever you got to do. I John's
mom is a real estate agent, will help find you,

(01:53:30):
you know, find a place to live, rental or purchase
while we're figuring out our farm dream. Will you can
crash on our couch if you're like job searching you
need to do. And part of this whole thing was
PJ was like, I can truck drive anywhere. I have
my license. It'll be so easy for for me to
just get a new job down there and tell the

(01:53:50):
show can can pay for everything, and so and I
believed him. I believed all of this. I believed so
much that we were we were all on the same
page and that God was doing this, and then we
were all moving forward in a direction. And so one
of the things that that PJ even said around the
flood time was like, maybe God had this was part
of God pushing him out of his house, was that

(01:54:12):
they had lost a lot of stuff and had to
throw away a lot of stuff because of that flood,
and and he explicitly expressed that that would make a
move easier, and and then that potentially that was what
God was doing and that was the reason for the flood.

Speaker 2 (01:54:27):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:54:31):
Got into my third trimester, and then I I ended
up getting pretty clapsed there with Esau and unexpectedly having
to deliver a month early, and and things felt like

(01:54:51):
they went downhill pretty fast from there. There were certainly
good days there, There were there were many good days.
But from the moment I gave birth, PJ started pushing
incredibly hard and incredibly fast, and I he launched the website,
he launched articles, He pushed a lot of growth and change,

(01:55:15):
which in any other season of my life would have
been wonderful. And I found myself on the phone crying
and begging him to slow down. I just had a baby.
You please slow down. I can't keep up. I can
do everything that I've always been doing. I can fill
the role that I had committed to, but not extra.
What I can't do is move at the pace that

(01:55:37):
you've suddenly decided you want to move. And there were
other times in the past where a similar thing had
happened that he had gotten PJ. It has moments of
like kind of manic energy, and he gets very excited
and he builds really cool things. So this was a
bit super foreign to me, but it was. It hurt

(01:55:58):
a lot, It was very It made my postpartum period
incredibly stressful and painful with ESA, and there were times
where I began to build some boundaries. It was not
mean to him. I was not toxic with him. I
wasn't a bad friend. I was an incredibly good friend.
There were times where I desperately needed to sleep, and

(01:56:18):
instead I was on the phone with him, trying to
repair a relationship that was increasingly becoming something foreign to
me that was increasingly hurting me, and I could not
understand why. And he would get mad at you if
you weren't available on the spot to answer a phone
call and talk for however long he wanted to. Yes.
The nature of my job previously and my long commutes

(01:56:39):
was that I was able to be on the phone
with PJ almost every day at least an hour a day,
and there was a lot of talking about the show
and what our next episodes were going to be, and
that's how I justified spending all that time. But there
was also just a ton of PJ getting support, friendship
support from me for you know, whatever he was dealing

(01:56:59):
with his life, and he was always he was always
going through something. He always had a lot that he
needed to talk about, and so I began to build
some boundaries. I was like, I'm sorry, I can't take
a phone call any any moment I can. A good

(01:57:22):
time for me to talk to you was when I'm
when I'm on my walks. I took a walk just
about every day with with uh Esau, and I said,
when I'm on my walks in the afternoon, that's a
great time to talk on the phone.

Speaker 2 (01:57:35):
So I.

Speaker 1 (01:57:37):
Continued to spend multiple hours a week with him on
the phone, but it wasn't enough, and he I I
increasingly knew that he was unhappy with our friendship, even
though I was pouring as much as I could possibly
be pouring into him and only holding back that which
was the do of my family. And I completed everything

(01:57:59):
I was supposed to complete for my work, everything that
I had committed to. But he began to express that
I wasn't pulling my weight, and so I said, okay,
I I I recognize you're burnt out. I don't have
a single thing more that I can give. But my
husband does. And he's totally on board. He's so supportive,
he's excited, and he's good at this stuff, and and

(01:58:21):
and let's bring him in to help with some of
the business, like the back end stuff, the financials. And
so I expressed this and he just said, what, you
don't trust me with the money? And up until that point,
I had never even logged into our bank account. Yeah,
because you trusty trusted this person. And he he balked,

(01:58:43):
but but yeah, he did allow John in and and
access to things, and John didn't. John was very careful
not to overstep. And so we'll get to that in
a second, but put a pin in it. We had
there were times in the show where we did a

(01:59:03):
bunch of interviews, and then there were times where we didn't,
and each time we did a bunch of interviews, it
felt it was like we we need to we need
this break from all the research. But each time we
got to the end of a set of interviews, we
were like, we're not an interview show. This isn't our
favorite thing to do. It's fun every once in a while,
but like, let's not do this very much, back to

(01:59:25):
back to back. And so we had we had decided
that I thought we had decided. I thought we were
on the same page that if we were going to
do an interview, it needed to be something that one
of us felt strongly about, like I really want to
interview this person, and and that we would never just
do an interview for the sake of doing an interview,
because we at that point we had people reaching out

(01:59:45):
to us and saying, hey, it I have this theory
I want to pitch on your show. And it was
somebody who like hadn't bothered get a relationship with us.
They were just trying to push their book or whatever
it was. And they weren't all bad people, but we
had we had just kind of sat that as a standard,
one of us needs to be really excited about this
relationship and interviewing this person. So and PEJ had been

(02:00:08):
communicating that I wasn't pulling my weight. So there was
a week one week, very very close to the end.
It was the week of the end, I think actually
it was yeah, yeah, where I was like, Okay, I
have some energy, I'm going to get out there and
I'm going to We had talked about booking some interviews,

(02:00:29):
and so I reached out to somebody we had had
on the show before that. Yeah, we reached out. I
reached out to Spencer Claven, somebody we had on the
show before. It was a very popular interview. We had
gotten the feeling that people loved him. He loved being
on the show. Yeah, the Buddha judges isn't gay one.

(02:00:49):
It was one that we had always agreed that we
were going to get sponsor back on because it was
such a fun interview. It was like one of our
best interviews ever. And so I booked that interview. And
I think a month before maybe PJ had had asked
somebody had emailed us about an interview, and he had

(02:01:09):
asked what I thought about having this lady on, and
I said, well, you know, I referred him to our standard.
I was like, if you feel strongly about it that
that's the standard. Yeah, And if not, then then we
shouldn't because I have no idea who she is.

Speaker 2 (02:01:24):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (02:01:24):
And he said, well, I have no idea who she is.
She's just a friend of Vicky Anderson's and she reached
out to us and I said, oh, okay, and he
he pushed me to be the one to make the
decision whether or not we're going to have her on
and I said, well, if it if it's my decision,
you know, if if you're pushing me to make the decision,

(02:01:46):
then I refer to our standard. You don't know who
she is. I don't know who she is. We're not
an interview show, let's not. Yeah, and we can revisit
it a lot something if you find out you know
her better or whatever. Yeah. And it was a weird
interaction with me and PJ, but yeah, And so I
booked Spencer for the show. And I texted PJ to
let him know that I had booked Spencer for the

(02:02:07):
show and he said he got mad at me. Why
did you book Spencer for the main show? And I said,
because I thought that we I thought that was the
thing that I thought. I thought, sweet, that's what we
talked about. I think there's a handful of other tasks
I had done. There was a handful of other tasks

(02:02:27):
that I had done that he had been complaining I
hadn't done yet, so you're trying to clear them off. Yeah.
I think he had asked me to edit through give
notes on his NEWE because he had just redone the
intros and outros. I didn't want him to do that,
but there were times where PJ just wanted to completely
redesign everything, and he would either tell me beforehand or

(02:02:50):
just tell me that he had done it. Did you
want to hand him to me? Yeah, there's no, buddy. Sorry,
I'm a little off in the in the weeds here

(02:03:11):
and the baby was crying, which helped me get off
in the weeds. But that day I had found the
energy in time to work on some nonsense like not
non essential but like not my main show tasks addition

(02:03:31):
did them. Reached out to PJ and let him know
that I had done them, and he was he was
mad that I had booked Spencer, and he was like,
if you if you're going to book your friend Spencer,
I'm going to book this other lady who I want
to interview that like you said that you said no
to it, And I told him to get his head
out of his ass. I reminded him what had been

(02:03:56):
happening in that conversation, and I was like, get your
head out of your ass. This is not this is
not a It's not a fucking competition. I swore him
I did. This is not a fucking competition. Uh. And
that was something that had happened in the past where
I would one of the things I could bring to
the show was that I had some kind of bigger,
more famous friends and that they were willing to come

(02:04:17):
on the show and and and yeah, and he had
some apparent jealousy about that, and so sometimes that reared
its head, that that there was some sort of issue
around around that, even though he wanted me to book
the interviews. But then so I said that, And that

(02:04:41):
was the least interaction that we had before he sent
the email saying that he was quitting the show. So
I'm not trying to lie to you and say, oh,
I was a perfect angel right up until the end.
But the extent that was that was as mean as
I ever ever was to him. Was to was to

(02:05:01):
be like, what the heck, just like drawing some boundaries.
I can't I can't do this. It can't be like this.
And at this point you had already announced, like two
weeks prior, I don't know if you can hear me, sorry,
that you were pregnant again with Gideon. Oh yeah, So
slightly rewinding for a second, four weeks I had been

(02:05:27):
talking to PJ about and talking to John about me
potentially quitting my job and relying completely on the podcast.
And and you had to sit down conversations where you're like,
are you on board with this? Are you fully in
on the show so that when you quit your job

(02:05:48):
is safe, it's safe for you to do. There were
multiple conversations there was. There was two in particular where
one with myself and PJ and one with my husband
and PJ where he explicitly said, Abby's about to quit
her job. We're all in? Are you all in? Is
this safe? And he said that he looked us in

(02:06:09):
the face and said yes. And this was during the
six months that he claimed in his email that he
had been thinking about leaving. Yes, there was a there
was a point. I don't know if it was in
that email or a follow up text message. Yeah, it
was a text message later that he he said, oh,
I've had problems with you for six months, which was
exactly how old Esau was when he sent that. This

(02:06:35):
is this is much longer, more detail than I intended.
So I'm just gonna I don't want to leave you
without proper detail, and I'm trying to not gloss over
the details such that somebody could accuse me of glossing
over something important that would help explain why he did
what he did. There there were also times in that

(02:07:04):
one conversation where I said, I stayed up late and
I was crying on the phone, trying to repair our relationship.
That was one of those times where we were trying
to repair like he had been so mean in the
past and I was trying to get past it with him.
I was like, this really hurt me. It's broken some
trust between us. I don't know what to do, but

(02:07:25):
I like the balls in your court to rebuild trust
with me. We had a couple conversations like that where
I wasn't trying to hold it over his head and
I wasn't sitting in a place of unforgiveness, but I
was also communicating, Hey, this happened, and it's in some
ways continuing to happen, that we have a what should
be a really normal adult conversation that spirals out of

(02:07:50):
control into you being really defensive and angry with me.
And I don't know why this is happening, and it
needs to stop, needs to stop happening. Okay, So I
quit my job and I got pregnant again, and PJ
came to stay at my place for a couple of days,

(02:08:12):
and we went to Rumble and we recorded that episode
about nine to eleven anth and he didn't say a
word about having an issue with me. He didn't say
a word about struggling with things, about needing to resolve conflict.
If there was ever a time to sit down face
to face and deal with a problem, if it was

(02:08:34):
still if anything was still a problem, that was it.
He was in my house, he slept under my roof,
he held my baby, and he lied to my face.
And two weeks after I told him I was pregnant
with Gideon, he sent that email saying that he quit
the show and that he wasn't interested in having a

(02:08:57):
conversation about it. And then a couple days later, John
and I were able to get him on the phone,
and Diana was there in the background. She didn't say
much of anything, but we knew she was she was there.
I think she said something. We heard her in the background,
so it felt like a family call. And I I said,
this is nonsensical to me, and he said, I don't

(02:09:17):
want to talk about it. And the only thing he
was willing to talk about on that phone call was
division of assets. So that's what we talked about. He
seemed very surprised that I was in any way wanting
to keep the show. He had said in his email
that he was leaving, leaving Conspiracy Pill quitting Conspiracy Pills resigned. Yeah,

(02:09:40):
And so the assumption from that was that if I
could keep it going, I could keep it going. That
was wasn't that in the contract? If one person left,
the other person got it. Yeah, the content had expired,
but that wasn't it. I believe it's been a long
time since its contract I was written. The contract had expired,
and I know it had expired because PJ was violating

(02:10:01):
the non compete in that contract with Weird Real Conspiracies,
which was another point of conflict between between us that
he was not willing to respect that contract and it
had expired, and so I didn't have a leg to
stand on. However, it seems that he did respect that
contract in this and in the split. So he said

(02:10:23):
that I asked him what he wanted, what he was
looking for in the split, and he said he wanted
the YouTube channel that had been his UH and the
Instagram channel that had been his. And this was also
the phone call where it was agreed that drama would
be kept out of the discors. Oh yes, yes, that
that all four of us, I thought, agreed that we
weren't going to bring any drama into the discord, that

(02:10:46):
the discord was going to be a safe place, that
swim in laws were going to own it instead of
me or PJ, and that it was going to be
a place where everyone who's who loved us wouldn't have
to pick sides, would just be the community as I'd
always had. So he he wanted the YouTube, the Instagram

(02:11:08):
and the TikTok, which which the Instagram and the TikTok
he had done all the work for cutting clips and posting.
They were clips that included me, but I put them
In his words, he had built them from the ground
and so he wanted them. And I said, okay. So
he got all of those, and he said, don't you
want to don't you want to go work for the

(02:11:30):
Babylon Bee or something. He seemed very surprised that I
wanted to continue with the show. And I said, God
call me to the show, and I don't think my
calling is over. And I had said to him on
multiple occasions that I didn't have any intention of going
to work for the Babylon b that I was all
in on conspiracy pill. That was with this calling that

(02:11:52):
I thought that God had like called us to and
given us this community to shepherd and and and I
loved it. And I had quit my job to do it.
I had just quit my old identity to put my
full identity into this and motherhood and all our eggs
in that basket, because we certainly could not afford to

(02:12:16):
live and raise our child on on just John's income.
We needed the show's income. And there was an element
of faith when we when we did that too, that
the show wasn't at that moment making enough, but the
trajectory looked so good that it was like, well and

(02:12:37):
just like we have some buffer, we have some savings,
and in just a couple of months, it's going to
be where we needed to be. Let's call it now.
It was like five months postpartum, and John and I
were like really dying to have me home with the
kids so that we weren't trying to like split and
have me going to work. And this might be a
good time to bring up the financials in just a moment. Yes,

(02:13:01):
So we divided assets and uh, and that was the
last time I talked to PJ. And then we we
agreed that PJ was gonna script a goodbye video that

(02:13:25):
it would go through me, Liz Swim as the community managers,
just to make sure that like we all agreed on
what was being put out on the channel. And the
original script had a lot of PJ praising Swim and

(02:13:47):
and it it read very weird. Was uncomfortable with how
much he was in it. I remember, you know, talking
to Swim about it, and I read the script and saying,
because we were in a group chat together, saying, while
Swim deserves all of this praise, it is out of

(02:14:10):
place here and it doesn't make sense to be in
a video where you're supposed to be talking about why
you're leaving and giving giving the community something to go on,
and so swim Swim backed up that he didn't. He

(02:14:32):
was not comfortable with that extra bit being in there,
and so PJ deleted it. And essentially, I think there
was like one other line that we Yeah, I forget
the line now. It was just a clarity thing. I
think it was because he referred to you as like
his co host or something. No, no, that doesn't make sense.
It was something there was a line that suggested that

(02:14:52):
I was just a psychic as opposed to be like
a joint owner and joint creator. And that was the
only other edit that we made to that to that script.
He recorded the video. We previewed it before it went up,
but there was nothing wrong with it. I don't even
think you previewed. I think you trusted us. Yeah, I
just had Yeah I didn't. I didn't. I didn't watch
it at all until it went up and and it

(02:15:14):
premiered on our channel. And then the next day Liz
and I, as you know, the stream called what Now
where we talked a little bit more about what had happened.
Finished the Ezekiel stream, finished Ezekiel talk to the audience
answered what questions we could answer, And in that stream,

(02:15:34):
I gave very few of the details. Yeah, just you
read the email. I read the email, and what I
told you guys at that time was that I knew
very little more than you did about why he had left,
and that the only thing I could give you to
help explain what I knew was to read the email

(02:15:55):
that he had sent me from our from our shared
email account, our shared conspiracy filled email account. And there
were a couple of people who accused me of of
sharing a private message and putting on blast. But I
hold to this day that it was a very formal
resignation sent formally from our shared account to my personal email. Uh.

(02:16:18):
And I thought it was completely within bounds to share
that formal resignation with with you. Ah. Then PJ went
on Paul Stobs no no, uh that the cloud cloud

(02:16:41):
pull stops clowns, show one more clowns, that one looks
like clowns. And there was a suggestion made in that
stream that PJ had left because of some sort of
moral conviction, that he just couldn't stay because of some

(02:17:02):
moral conviction. The drama, Yeah, it was, it was out
of the Blue. I listened to it and I was like,
what could he possibly be talking about the past? I've
obviously had some more context than what was that? Right?
Paul and him were clearly alluding to something, And I'm like,
how am I this is about me? How am I
out of the loop about it? And to this day

(02:17:22):
I have no idea. I I've been over it over
and over of like, what could PJ possibly have said
to Paul to to say to suggest that that? That
got to me for a while, and I mean to say,
people believe about you and you have no tube right
yourself that well. And at the same time, what was

(02:17:45):
happening in the discord, even though we had all agreed
to not bring drama into the discord, was that people
were asking questions about how you know, is PJ okay?
What happened? There was an assumption something that PJ must
not be okay, that he couldn't have done this if

(02:18:05):
something was not okay. That was the assumption of the fans,
And so there's a lot of those questions. And Deanna
was in the discord continually telling people, Hey, here's his number,
contact him. So there was a lot of suggesting that, oh,
you should go have a personal conversation with PG. So
while I said all that I was going to say

(02:18:29):
publicly where he could hear it, he could know exactly
what I said about him, anything that he said about me.
He invited people to come into private conversations with him
and set it behind closed doors. And to this day,
I have no idea why certain people that I used
to consider very close friends immediately cut me off as
if I was some sort of terrible villain. Yeah, and

(02:18:52):
I can't and I can make guess it's based on
Brufe But yeah, yeah, you gotta wonder if that if
he told the same life again. But I don't know,
I don't know. All I know is that I thought
Ice was a good friend of mine, and she made
it quick clear she didn't want anything further to do
with me. And I have no idea why to this
day she didn't want to hear any of yourself. Yeah,

(02:19:13):
I asked if she would talk, and Alice Pj's sister,
which I also considered her a good friend and I
had confided in her on many occasions we had talked
about very personal things. She was vicious to me and
then refused to hear any anything on my side of
the story. So I have no idea what led these

(02:19:35):
people to believe that I was so evil that I
deserved to be abandoned financially, left in a horrible place.
Right when I found out I was pregnant, and right
after I had trustfallen, quit my job and put all
my cards and all my trust with PJ. There were
women I loved who thought I deserved that, and I

(02:19:57):
do not know why it months later deeply hurts me.
It would be nice, at least if you knew the
charges level to me, I would love to know. Even
if even if there's nothing I could say to like
convince people it wasn't true, I would it would be.
It would be nice. I mean, it would be the
biblical thing. Yeah, it certainly would be. There's nothing biblical
about how that was gone about. But in the weeks following,

(02:20:24):
John realized that the numbers didn't add up in in
our financials, and we discovered that PJ had taken I
believe it was two thousand dollars of a loan against
our our earnings, so in order to pay out. I. Yeah,
it's not that he stole money. He didn't steal money,

(02:20:45):
but he did something really financially dumb without my consent,
without my knowledge, that John and I then had to
pay for so not only or John and I completely cut,
like we had to deal with the fallout of that
two thousand dollars missing two thousand dollars that we had

(02:21:06):
to pay back. And like you said, you already weren't
making a quick enough but you assumed that you may
make making more. Yeah, And we had to pay PJ
through the end of the year because he offered to
stay on the show through the end of the year.
And I thought, after this level of betrayal, I couldn't
possibly do that. I couldn't possibly go live in front
of a whole audience with this person who was so utterly,

(02:21:31):
utterly betrayed me in the worst possible way, in an
incredibly vulnerable moment, which is why everything was so abrupt
from the show to his right, and he complained, he
complained publicly that I hadn't let him say goodbye to
the audience. And he was certainly welcome to use any
of the platforms that he took to say whatever he
wanted to the audience, but he chose not to, and

(02:21:55):
stead he chose to make me out to be the
bad guy for not being willing to go live with
him in front of an audience when he and talk
about something he was not even willing to have a
private conversation with me about. That was that was crazy
to me that that that was that was an accusation leveled,

(02:22:16):
or that anyone believed that I was in the wrong there,
But that's neither here nor there. In addition, it was
a mistake, I believe, but PJ had not properly filed
or paid uh certain taxes, and so we owed two
years of taxes to Michigan, and we had to pay

(02:22:39):
to get a license that we hadn't had, and we
had to pay for other other logistical things getting things
transferred over. It was a nightmare. Subscriptions, it hadn't been canceled. Yeah,
things that I thought we weren't paying for, that PJ
had forgotten we were paying for. It was. It was

(02:23:00):
an absolute financial nightmare for months and months and months,
and I was sick, and I was pregnant, and I
was absolutely devastated and trying to keep the show going
because I because I wanted to, because I love this
show and I love you guys. But also because I
had no choice. I didn't have a job anymore. By

(02:23:23):
the time that PJ told me that he was leaving,
that he had that he had ever had a problem,
that he was leaving, my job position had been felled.
There was nowhere for me to go back to, and
there was nowhere for me to go forward to because
I had a baby and I was pregnant again, and
who was going to hire me? Yeah, and also you
had quit so that you could have more time with

(02:23:45):
your kid, and you would have to abandon your kid.
I meet. I wouldn't have to abandon my kid and
figure out how to pay for Nacre and all the
stuff that was just not going to happen. So some
of you might be wondering, why, after all these months,
are you bringing any of this up again, And it's
because it's I'm still living in the nightmare of it,
still living in the financial nightmare of it. We're still
not recovered, and I'm not I'm not asking you guys

(02:24:09):
for anything. Please don't listen to me cry about this
and give us money like that's don't do that the
point of it. I would hate to feel, I would
truly hate to think that I emotionally manipulated anyone into
giving money. Please don't do that. I'm just telling you
where what happened, Why we're still well, I'm still in
this nightmare that i've I've I went through hell to

(02:24:30):
deliver Gideon, and now I'm on the other side a
month postpartum, and I'm like, what the fuck happened? What
the fuck just happened to my life? You haven't had
to had a chance to rest this postpartum because you're
still trying to work hard to financially recover from this.
And it doesn't help that we got into the Rumble program,

(02:24:54):
Rumble Creator program, and then Rumble immediately fucked us. I'm
sorry for all the swearing. They have basically destroyed our
channel by I don't know what's happening on the back
end with their numbers, but the minute we got into
the program, everything tanked in such an incredible way, and
it's continued to fall off a cliff and we don't
know what to do about it. We've had multiple conversations

(02:25:15):
with them and they're like, we don't know what's going on,
and it sounds like this is happening to other Yeah,
it is happening to other creators, and the best I
can conspiracy theorize is that the Creator program pays us
more money per view, so of course they have to
few reviews, make it few reviews so they don't have
to pay us. True, but I hate for that to

(02:25:40):
be true. But Rumbles is certainly tossing us off a cliff.
And we worked so hard throughout the end of my pregnancy.
I was not you know, there was so much rest
that I wasn't able to have because we were working
so hard to fill all these hours that were required
form the Rumble Creator Program. John was game streaming for
hours trying to fill the We worked so hard, and

(02:26:02):
John is continuing to work so hard to just try
to help the show survive because where our savings are gone,
we're into our credit cards, and we still haven't recovered
the show, and I don't know what to do. I
love you guys. I want to keep doing this, and
hopefully if you see this, by the time you see this,
we'll have solved this problem. Because we're actively strategizing and

(02:26:23):
trying to figure out things that we might be able
to do to relieve some of the pressure and give
me room to maybe make money in a different way. Yeah,
I'm starting at only fans. This is my this is
actually just my only fans announcement because it's just the
wrong ad. This is the wrong ad. So even before
you see this video, you you may see some some changes,

(02:26:44):
some identity changes with the channel of things that we're
fiddling with to try to try to see if we
can salvage this. And I want you guys to know
we love you and we're working very hard to salvage this.
But as much as it might look to you like
time has passed and everything is okay and Pj's a
distant memory, or maybe he's not, maybe you still miss him,

(02:27:06):
we lost about a third of our of our supporters
when PJ left, about a third of the people who
were fans. Some of them very explicitly said that they
hated my guts and they had never been here for me,
that I was that they only were here for PJ,
and they left, and that's that's everyone's prerogative. But we
we've also one person called me insufferable. Yeah, and everyone

(02:27:27):
is entitled to their opinion, and no one was under
any obligation to continue, particularly financially supporting. But this is
a nightmare that I have continued to live in for
all the months since that happened. And that's what I
wanted to get off my chest for you, guys. Just

(02:27:48):
I just want you to know. I don't need you
to do anything. I don't need you to say anything.
I don't need you to pick a side. I don't
need you to believe me. I just need you to
have heard it. I need to have said it. I
need it to be off my chest. And hopefully now
that I've said all this, I can find a way
to move on because I've really had a hard time
doing that. I've had a hard time letting go. I've

(02:28:08):
gotten very bitter, and that's between me and God. I
confess to you, as part of my church family, that
I struggle with bitterness and unforgiveness and that's something that
is wrong. It is sinful, and I need to between
me and God. I need to get there. So thank
you for listening. We love you, guys, ah and yes

(02:28:31):
we love it. We love you and thank you, thank
you very much if you made it all the way
here and you've here heard heard me. Thank you. Coming

(02:29:06):
from the combos Can compa

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Introspection and Changes - Conspiracy Pilled Archive (S6-Ep12)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Introspection and Changes - Conspiracy Pilled Archive (S6-Ep12)