February 24, 2025 • 21 mins
Have you ever found yourself in a situation so uncomfortable that it forced you to rethink your entire approach to life? I certainly have, and it happened 25 years ago on a date with my ex-girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. I was caught in a financial pinch, unable to pay for the meal, and had to call my best friend for help. This pivotal moment was more than just a personal embarrassment; it was a wake-up call that sparked a journey towards financial literacy and personal growth. In this episode, we explore the transformative power of such defining moments and how they serve as catalysts for change in our lives.
Throughout our discussion, we draw inspiration from Jim Rohn’s philosophy that true change starts from within. We highlight stories of individuals who have turned their lives around by seizing their defining moments, like the man who conquered alcoholism after a sobering incident with his child. These narratives emphasize the importance of surrounding ourselves with empowering environments and breaking free from the chains of mediocrity. We invite you to reflect on your own turning points and join a community of like-minded souls committed to personal elevation and transformation. Listen in and be inspired to recognize your potential and harness it for lasting change.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
When was your last defining moment?
When was your first one?
What was that moment where yousaid enough, enough, enough,
enough?
Maybe your defining moment wasabout your health.
Maybe one day you looked in themirror and you're like I can't
do this anymore, like this iscrazy, like I don't even know
this person.
Who is this person that's inthis mirror right now?
(00:21):
Who is this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's in this mirror right now.
Who's this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's not me.
Maybe that was your definingmoment.
Maybe your defining moment wasa bad report from a doctor and
the doctor says if you don't dothis, blank will happen.
Maybe that was your moment.
Maybe you got fired from yourjob and you got fired from your
(00:41):
job and you said you know what?
Forget it, I'm done.
I'm done with corporate America, I'm done with these people.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Maybe your defining moment wasat your business.
Maybe your defining moment wasromance.
I don't know what your definingmoment was, but where does that
moment where, like, you can'tdo that anymore, you just can't,
and I don't know when thatdefining moment will be for you.
(01:04):
If you've already had it or not, I don't know, but what I do
know is, when that moment comes,it comes like a wrecking ball
to everything that was yourprevious identity, because that
previous identity did not serveyou.
I actually took time to learnabout how incredible you were.
Nothing would ever stop me.
All right, everyone.
It's time to get it.
(01:25):
Welcome.
I appreciate all the comments,all the DMs, all the emails, the
text messages.
For those of you who have mynumber, I want to say thank you,
thank you for listening, thankyou for sharing, thank you for
commenting, thank you for givingme your feedback.
If you're on here and you'venot yet joined this community,
(01:51):
join this community.
It's time to get it.
We all want to elevate, likecomment, share, be a part of
what we're creating, and I lovethe feedback because I read
everything and I love learningfrom you.
I got this story to tell.
I want you to listen up.
So my ex-girlfriend and I weregoing on a date.
This is, I don't know.
This is a long time ago, like20 years ago, something like
that, more than 20 years ago,like 25 years ago, right?
So we're going out on a dateand I'm all excited and I get
(02:17):
myself all dressed up.
We go to this restaurant andI'm broke.
I'm broke all right.
No, don't speak current.
I was broke, I was broke, allright.
And so I'm going to thisrestaurant with her and I'm
looking at the menu.
She chose a restaurant.
She's always wanted to go hereand I was in between.
I don't know if you've everbeen in between where, like you
(02:40):
know, you're not as right asyou'd like to be financially, so
we call that being in between.
So she picks this restaurantand I'm sweating because I know
how much money I have, right.
And so we go to this restaurantand I'm thinking to myself OK,
I'm good, she's only looking onthis side of the menu.
I'd already decided I'm justgetting a salad, because I'm not
(03:02):
trying to look crazy.
You know I'm on this diet,right.
And she goes to the wrong sideof the menu.
I'm like what's she doing?
She was on the left the wholetime.
On the left Waiter comes all ofa sudden.
She switches to the right.
What are we doing?
(03:22):
What are we doing?
You weren't doing that.
She doesn't just go to theright.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
You weren't doing that.
She doesn't just go to theright, she goes to the right,
towards the lower part of theright Guys.
You know what this is.
You know this is a problem.
You know there's a problem.
So now my salad is too muchmoney and I'm doing the
calculations of what this mealis going to be and I'm thinking,
(03:43):
oh my god, I don the money, Idon't have the money.
I don't have the money.
I'm sitting here with mygirlfriend on this date.
I don't have the money.
Okay, so I'm.
She's like you want anything?
I'm like no, I'm, I'm just mystomach's bothering me.
I, I felt, I felt crazy in thatmoment when I tell you crazy, I
(04:04):
felt crazy in that moment when Itell you crazy, I feel crazy.
Do you understand what I'mtalking?
Okay, so now I'm trying tocalculate everything, I'm going
through all scenarios in my mindbecause I'm about to get
seriously humiliated at thistable.
Can you imagine taking somebodyout and them having to reach
for their credit card on thedate you invited them on to
(04:26):
because you're in between?
Okay, so I said excuse me for asecond.
I get on the phone and I callmy best friend, e Elliot, shout
out to you Thank you for savingme.
You probably remember you didthis If you watched this.
Thank you for saving me, e Allright.
So my buddy, I said, look, I'mhere, I need some help, I need
some money.
(04:46):
Back then we didn't have likeZelle Cash App, this whole thing
, so there was something calledWestern Union, all right.
So I'm like, hey, I need somemoney, blah, blah, blah, blah
I'm going to be short, like 25bucks.
He's like, really, word, allright, yeah, me the $50.
He's in the process of sendingme $50.
And she's sitting there waitingfor the waiter to come.
(05:07):
I come back to the table.
I chit chat for a little bitand then I said, oh, you know, I
got to run a car for me, I'llbe back.
I ran to the car, ran to thecar, jumped in the car and I
booked it to the closestsupermarket that had a Western
Union.
And I'm there doing one of thisRemember, no instant cash doing
(05:28):
one of these things, waitingfor that transfer to come.
Transfer came.
I came back.
She's like, well, what took youso long?
I was like I just had to dosomething.
I just had to check somethingout.
Later on, of course, the car wasparked in a completely
different place.
But that's not the point.
The point is I got the money.
I got the money and I wassitting there and she enjoyed
(05:48):
her meal.
I stuck with my not eatingbecause I could not eat, because
I felt crazy.
I felt crazy.
We got she got done, got thebill, left the restaurant and, I
felt so crazy, drove her home.
(06:11):
That was it.
I said I'll give you a call alittle bit later.
I couldn't even be around herafter that.
Let me tell you why.
Because I left that restaurantand I said to myself as I
dropped her off, I will never bethat tight again.
(06:34):
It was a defining moment.
It was a defining moment.
I felt sick to my stomach andI'm driving up the road thinking
I have a job, I'm working.
This is not okay, this is notokay.
And I started going through allthese things.
(06:56):
I was so glad my friend wasthere for me and I realized that
my situation imposed on him.
I didn't know what he had goingon financially.
But here I am just hitting himup for money because I didn't
have to take her.
I already knew I was, I alreadyknew I was like on the edge,
but I promised us to go out.
I could have just said hey, Ican't make it.
That would have been the rightthing to do, looking back, but
(07:19):
I'm, you know, I'm like I'mreally trying to wipe, really
trying to walk that little fineline right, like I can make it
all work even though it wasn'tworking.
I felt sick.
I get home and I just sit there, I'm sitting on the chair and
I'm looking at myself and I'msaying to myself what is like?
This doesn't make any sense.
What is going on here?
(07:40):
This isn't right.
I shouldn't be living like this.
And I don't know if you've everhad a defining moment.
I'm just going to talk in theair of finances for a moment.
There's a lot of other areasyou could talk about, but for me
, that was a financial definingmoment and I felt so sick and I
said to myself I got to dosomething different, I got to
change.
(08:00):
I got to change, I got to growup, because this isn't, this
isn't, you know.
It says in the Bible when Ibecame a man, I put away
childish things.
I was still having a childishexperience where I'm like, I'm
like calling my friend to comeand rescue me for $50 and just
all that.
Look, there comes a point intime where, like you, just you
(08:22):
get to like you just can't evenlook at yourself.
Right, that's not a problem,that's, that's a.
That's a great thing, that itwas a great thing.
That moment happening was agreat thing.
So I fell onto my knees.
I was praying.
I remember praying that night.
God help me, god help me.
(08:43):
And I was on my knees praying,but do you know, you can't fall
when you're on your knees.
I was low and I said I justneed a breakthrough, just give
me a breakthrough, just help meout.
I just I need and what's funnyis that I already had the
vehicle financially that wasgoing to give me the
(09:05):
breakthrough, but I wasn'ttaking it seriously, I wasn't.
I was kind of piddling aroundwith it a little bit.
I was trying to let, I wastrying to.
Here I am in this business, Ihave a business, I've started a
business, but it's not really abusiness business, it's more
like a little side hustle.
And it was a side hustlebecause I treated it like a side
(09:25):
hustle.
It was giving me exactly whatit's supposed to give me.
I made money kind ofsporadically every now and then,
but nothing really that wasgoing to not have a moment like
that not happen again.
It's just the truth.
But that night I got on my kneesand I started praying.
And you know what I heard?
A true story.
(09:46):
This is not even I didn't knowif I heard it or heard it, but
in my ear I heard it.
I heard this.
I heard this.
I've already given it to you,you haven't done anything with
it.
That's what I heard.
Basically, punk stopcomplaining.
That's basically what I heard.
Like I've already given it toyou, you're not doing anything
with it.
And now here you are begging meagain for a breakthrough.
(10:09):
I got off my knees after hearingwhat I thought I heard and I
came to the realization that atthat point I didn't deserve the
money.
I didn't deserve the money.
I didn't deserve it.
And here's how you know youdon't, because you haven't done
enough to get it.
That's why I came to it was ahard realization.
(10:29):
I'd love to say it was this andit was that, but the truth of
it was it was me.
That's the truth.
That's the truth.
And that was a hard thing toadmit.
It was a hard thing for me toadmit that I was the reason.
No one wants to takeresponsibility.
Now look, don't get me wrong.
There's times where, like, theeconomy's bad, that's true.
There are times where you knowyou have a sudden job loss
(10:51):
situation, the industry you'rein changes, that's true.
I'm not talking about thosesituations, I'm talking about my
situation.
My situation was I had thevehicle financially and I wasn't
taking it seriously.
That was my situation and Iwaited till my back was against
the wall.
I waited till my back wasagainst the wall.
(11:13):
I'm sitting whispering in thecorner of this restaurant
begging my friend to send me $50on that date.
I had to get to that point forme to wake up and look and say
this is crazy, this is realcrazy.
And I realized at that point Ididn't deserve that money
because I wasn't doing anything.
I could blame a whole lot ofpeople, but at that moment I
said there's no one to blame.
I just got to blame myself.
(11:33):
It was really takingresponsibility.
So I got up and I began toengage.
My business different, began togo on a run, and every time I
didn't feel like doing something.
I remember sitting in thatrestaurant and I remember the
feeling.
It wasn't't even about her, wedidn't even stay together, but I
know for a fact that she cameacross my path.
(11:57):
People come to your path toteach you something.
We dated and I believe theentire reason we dated was for
me to have that moment.
That's, that's the reason whybecause we aren't together now
I'm I just feel like that wasthe reason.
And when I had that moment, Iknew I had to change.
Let me ask you a question.
Just think about this for asecond.
Have you had a defining moment?
(12:17):
You might have had more thanone.
I've had a few.
I'll talk about others laterbut that was one of the ones.
That was one of the ones.
See, as a man, I have pride.
I have Jamaican blood in me.
So I've got a healthyself-esteem.
I've got pride.
We're prideful, we're known asprideful people.
For me, as a man, to sit thereand not be able to provide
(12:39):
something that I orchestrated,that hurt more than you might
realize.
Some people wouldn't care.
Some people just say I ain'tgot it.
I need you to take care of thisthing.
I ain't got it.
And she'd reach in her purseand pay and that's all good.
That wasn't how I saw the world.
How I saw the world was justdifferent.
(12:59):
So that moment really disturbedme.
It disturbed me and the factthat I had to call somebody else
to bail me out.
That disturbed me.
Now I'm blessed and grateful,but I didn't want to have to be
in that place.
What was your last definingmoment?
When was your first one?
What was that moment where yousaid enough, enough, enough,
(13:20):
enough?
Maybe your defining moment wasabout your health.
Maybe one day you looked in themirror and you're like I can't
do this, like this is crazy,like I don't even know this
person.
Who is this person that's inthis mirror right now?
Who is this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's not me.
Maybe that was your definingmoment.
(13:41):
Maybe your defining moment wasa bad report from a doctor and
the doctor says if you don't dothis, blank will happen.
Maybe that was was your moment.
Maybe you got fired from yourjob and you got fired from your
job, but you said you know what?
Forget it, I'm done.
I'm done with corporate america, I'm done with these people.
Blah, blah, blah.
Maybe your defining moment wasat your business.
Maybe your defining moment wasromance.
(14:01):
I don't know what your definingmoment was, but where does that
moment?
Where, like you, like it's over, like you can't do that anymore
.
You just can't.
And I don't know when thatdefining moment will be for you.
If you've already had it or not, I don't know.
But what I do know is when thatmoment comes, it comes like a
wrecking ball to everything thatwas your previous identity,
(14:25):
because that previous identitydid not serve you.
Not only did it not serve you,in some ways it punished you.
You see, there's a moment whenyou'll be punished and you will
have a choice.
You'll take that punishment andsay thank you, may I have
another.
Some people are masochisticlike that or you take that
(14:46):
moment and say that will neverhappen again, that's not
happening again.
And I have so many.
I have so many, man, I stillhave defining moments, and when
they happen for me it's likeI've got to redefine myself,
because that doesn't workanymore.
I've got to get to anotherlevel because that doesn't work
(15:07):
anymore.
Whatever that was, it doesn'twork anymore.
I've got to go to, I've got toelevate Every one of us.
We live our lives with otherpeople and some of our defining
moments, most of them, willactually come from something
with somebody else, like someother experience, and we're
supposed to learn from them.
Now, some people don't want tolearn, it's okay.
(15:29):
But I'm talking to those of youwho do want to learn.
Are you elevating from thedefining moment that was gifted
to you so that you would have arevelation of yourself?
Have you had that moment yetwhere you look in the mirror and
you say this is not okay, I'mnot okay, I'm not, this is not
okay.
I don't want to.
I don't want to live like thisanymore.
I don't want to live in thisspace.
(15:50):
I don't want to live with thisperson.
I don't want to live with thesepeople.
I don't want to talk to thesepeople.
I don't want to do that job,whatever it is.
I don't know what it is, butwhat I do know is that when it
happens, it will jar you so muchthat if you're ever going to
change, it's going to come fromthat.
That will put you on a wholeother path.
Fast forward that story I justtold you about.
(16:13):
I began to work harder I meanharder.
Eight to faint mentality on myside business.
I ended up leaving my full-timejob that I had because I put in
the work.
I discovered what work reallywas.
You know, I didn't even know mycapacity to work.
(16:37):
Pain is powerful.
Pain is a powerful thing.
Some people have other things.
Your things are way morepainful, but whatever that thing
is that pain the word passioncomes from the root of the word
pain.
Sometimes, when I do things likeeven right now, like I can feel
, I can feel that feeling likesomeone's sitting on my chest in
(16:59):
the area of money.
That day it was like someonewas sitting on my chest.
I'm breathing, but barely.
It's like treading water.
You can see that there's thisland you're supposed to get to,
but you're just treading water.
You're not.
You know it's there, you couldsee it there, but you aren't
moving, you're just treading.
You're not going back to whereyou were, but you're also not
(17:21):
moving forward.
To live and not move forward isjust so.
It's so much, it's so painfulto just live and not be moving
forward, having no progress,things looking the same, if not
worse, like it's.
You literally feel like you'removing backwards.
And then you get on socialmedia and everybody's winning
(17:42):
and everybody's happy, right,everybody's winning and happy,
and they're all making millionsof dollars and they're all
beautiful and all this stuff.
So that makes you feel evenworse.
Right, you know what I'mtalking about.
You feel even worse, but it'sonly worse if you don't move and
change when that defining,defining moment happens.
If you solve the temporaryproblem like him sending me the
(18:06):
money that was solving that wasa temporary solution, that
wasn't going to do it If youtake the defining moment and you
only give it a band-aid, youanother defining moment,
probably in that same area,later.
So if I didn't shift, I wasgonna have the same thing happen
different, different scenario,same outcome, different scenario
(18:28):
, same outcome.
And I, just, I, just, I justI'm so grateful, I'm so grateful
I'm doing this video right now.
I'm doing this video right now,I'm releasing this content
right now because I'm hopingthat everyone who hears this
will take your defining momentas your definite moment.
(18:51):
It goes from defining you tobecomes the definite you Like
I'm definitely never doing thatagain.
I'm definitely breaking through.
Like I'm definitely never doingthat again, I'm definitely
breaking through.
I'm definitely like I'm.
And you know what else isinteresting?
When I told this story back inthe day to some of the people
around me, they're like yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.
(19:13):
And then I realized somethingelse.
Oh, my God, oh, this just hitme.
Listen to this.
I realize I'm in a.
I'm in my circle.
My circle doesn't think there'sanything wrong with that.
They're okay with that, they'reokay.
I realized that day my circleis okay being in lack and it's
(19:35):
just normal.
That's what it is.
One of them says, yeah, me too,me too.
Yeah, that just happened to metoo.
And I'm thinking who am I Gotto change things?
If you want things to get better, like Jim Rohn says, you got to
get better.
Want things to get better?
You got to get better.
(19:55):
Take your defining moments andmake them your definite moments.
Look around the people.
Look at the people around you.
Are they okay as you are instruggle, or are not where you
really want to be becausethey're so used to not being
where they want to be?
Got to be careful with thosepeople if that's who you're
hanging around, because theywill normalize insanity and
(20:17):
you'll normalize it too.
Yeah, it's okay that none of ushave anything.
That's just the way it is Justthe way it is.
You ain't got, I ain't got, sheain't got, nobody got.
It's normal, it's not.
It may be normal, but itdoesn't have to be permanent.
What was your last definingmoment?
Let me know, and what did youdo to break out of it?
(20:42):
Talked to a gentleman a few daysago, told me an incredible
story.
He'd been drinking for yearsand years and years.
His wife had tried to tell himto stop.
For years and years and yearshe just couldn't let the bottle
down, just couldn't put it down.
One day wife comes home, he'staking care of the baby, but
(21:03):
he's been drinking.
Baby's laying on his chest.
He's drunk.
Wife walks in, he gets startledbecause he's drunk.
He kind of pops up Baby fallsoff his chest onto the ground.
Baby's okay.
But he never touched a bottleanother day in his life and that
was like 18 years ago I think.
(21:24):
He said that was his definingmoment.
The defining moment is a gift.
God's gifted you with.
The defining moment Only youcan decide if it's gonna be your
definite moment.
I hope you decide wisely.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
(21:47):
were, nothing would ever stop.
You see, the definition ofsight is the faculty or power of
seeing.
When was your last defining moment?
When was your first one?
What was that moment where yousaid enough, enough, enough,
enough?
Maybe your defining moment wasabout your health.
Maybe one day you looked in themirror and you're like I can't
do this anymore, like this iscrazy, like I don't even know
this person.
Who is this person that's inthis mirror right now?
(00:21):
Who is this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's in this mirror right now.
Who's this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's not me.
Maybe that was your definingmoment.
Maybe your defining moment wasa bad report from a doctor and
the doctor says if you don't dothis, blank will happen.
Maybe that was your moment.
Maybe you got fired from yourjob and you got fired from your
(00:41):
job and you said you know what?
Forget it, I'm done.
I'm done with corporate America, I'm done with these people.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Maybe your defining moment wasat your business.
Maybe your defining moment wasromance.
I don't know what your definingmoment was, but where does that
moment where, like, you can'tdo that anymore, you just can't,
and I don't know when thatdefining moment will be for you.
(01:04):
If you've already had it or not, I don't know, but what I do
know is, when that moment comes,it comes like a wrecking ball
to everything that was yourprevious identity, because that
previous identity did not serveyou.
I actually took time to learnabout how incredible you were.
Nothing would ever stop me.
All right, everyone.
It's time to get it.
(01:25):
Welcome.
I appreciate all the comments,all the DMs, all the emails, the
text messages.
For those of you who have mynumber, I want to say thank you,
thank you for listening, thankyou for sharing, thank you for
commenting, thank you for givingme your feedback.
If you're on here and you'venot yet joined this community,
(01:51):
join this community.
It's time to get it.
We all want to elevate, likecomment, share, be a part of
what we're creating, and I lovethe feedback because I read
everything and I love learningfrom you.
I got this story to tell.
I want you to listen up.
So my ex-girlfriend and I weregoing on a date.
This is, I don't know.
This is a long time ago, like20 years ago, something like
that, more than 20 years ago,like 25 years ago, right?
So we're going out on a dateand I'm all excited and I get
(02:17):
myself all dressed up.
We go to this restaurant andI'm broke.
I'm broke all right.
No, don't speak current.
I was broke, I was broke, allright.
And so I'm going to thisrestaurant with her and I'm
looking at the menu.
She chose a restaurant.
She's always wanted to go hereand I was in between.
I don't know if you've everbeen in between where, like you
(02:40):
know, you're not as right asyou'd like to be financially, so
we call that being in between.
So she picks this restaurantand I'm sweating because I know
how much money I have, right.
And so we go to this restaurantand I'm thinking to myself OK,
I'm good, she's only looking onthis side of the menu.
I'd already decided I'm justgetting a salad, because I'm not
(03:02):
trying to look crazy.
You know I'm on this diet,right.
And she goes to the wrong sideof the menu.
I'm like what's she doing?
She was on the left the wholetime.
On the left Waiter comes all ofa sudden.
She switches to the right.
What are we doing?
(03:22):
What are we doing?
You weren't doing that.
She doesn't just go to theright.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
You weren't doing that.
She doesn't just go to theright, she goes to the right,
towards the lower part of theright Guys.
You know what this is.
You know this is a problem.
You know there's a problem.
So now my salad is too muchmoney and I'm doing the
calculations of what this mealis going to be and I'm thinking,
(03:43):
oh my god, I don the money, Idon't have the money.
I don't have the money.
I'm sitting here with mygirlfriend on this date.
I don't have the money.
Okay, so I'm.
She's like you want anything?
I'm like no, I'm, I'm just mystomach's bothering me.
I, I felt, I felt crazy in thatmoment when I tell you crazy, I
(04:04):
felt crazy in that moment when Itell you crazy, I feel crazy.
Do you understand what I'mtalking?
Okay, so now I'm trying tocalculate everything, I'm going
through all scenarios in my mindbecause I'm about to get
seriously humiliated at thistable.
Can you imagine taking somebodyout and them having to reach
for their credit card on thedate you invited them on to
(04:26):
because you're in between?
Okay, so I said excuse me for asecond.
I get on the phone and I callmy best friend, e Elliot, shout
out to you Thank you for savingme.
You probably remember you didthis If you watched this.
Thank you for saving me, e Allright.
So my buddy, I said, look, I'mhere, I need some help, I need
some money.
(04:46):
Back then we didn't have likeZelle Cash App, this whole thing
, so there was something calledWestern Union, all right.
So I'm like, hey, I need somemoney, blah, blah, blah, blah
I'm going to be short, like 25bucks.
He's like, really, word, allright, yeah, me the $50.
He's in the process of sendingme $50.
And she's sitting there waitingfor the waiter to come.
(05:07):
I come back to the table.
I chit chat for a little bitand then I said, oh, you know, I
got to run a car for me, I'llbe back.
I ran to the car, ran to thecar, jumped in the car and I
booked it to the closestsupermarket that had a Western
Union.
And I'm there doing one of thisRemember, no instant cash doing
(05:28):
one of these things, waitingfor that transfer to come.
Transfer came.
I came back.
She's like, well, what took youso long?
I was like I just had to dosomething.
I just had to check somethingout.
Later on, of course, the car wasparked in a completely
different place.
But that's not the point.
The point is I got the money.
I got the money and I wassitting there and she enjoyed
(05:48):
her meal.
I stuck with my not eatingbecause I could not eat, because
I felt crazy.
I felt crazy.
We got she got done, got thebill, left the restaurant and, I
felt so crazy, drove her home.
(06:11):
That was it.
I said I'll give you a call alittle bit later.
I couldn't even be around herafter that.
Let me tell you why.
Because I left that restaurantand I said to myself as I
dropped her off, I will never bethat tight again.
(06:34):
It was a defining moment.
It was a defining moment.
I felt sick to my stomach andI'm driving up the road thinking
I have a job, I'm working.
This is not okay, this is notokay.
And I started going through allthese things.
(06:56):
I was so glad my friend wasthere for me and I realized that
my situation imposed on him.
I didn't know what he had goingon financially.
But here I am just hitting himup for money because I didn't
have to take her.
I already knew I was, I alreadyknew I was like on the edge,
but I promised us to go out.
I could have just said hey, Ican't make it.
That would have been the rightthing to do, looking back, but
(07:19):
I'm, you know, I'm like I'mreally trying to wipe, really
trying to walk that little fineline right, like I can make it
all work even though it wasn'tworking.
I felt sick.
I get home and I just sit there, I'm sitting on the chair and
I'm looking at myself and I'msaying to myself what is like?
This doesn't make any sense.
What is going on here?
(07:40):
This isn't right.
I shouldn't be living like this.
And I don't know if you've everhad a defining moment.
I'm just going to talk in theair of finances for a moment.
There's a lot of other areasyou could talk about, but for me
, that was a financial definingmoment and I felt so sick and I
said to myself I got to dosomething different, I got to
change.
(08:00):
I got to change, I got to growup, because this isn't, this
isn't, you know.
It says in the Bible when Ibecame a man, I put away
childish things.
I was still having a childishexperience where I'm like, I'm
like calling my friend to comeand rescue me for $50 and just
all that.
Look, there comes a point intime where, like you, just you
(08:22):
get to like you just can't evenlook at yourself.
Right, that's not a problem,that's, that's a.
That's a great thing, that itwas a great thing.
That moment happening was agreat thing.
So I fell onto my knees.
I was praying.
I remember praying that night.
God help me, god help me.
(08:43):
And I was on my knees praying,but do you know, you can't fall
when you're on your knees.
I was low and I said I justneed a breakthrough, just give
me a breakthrough, just help meout.
I just I need and what's funnyis that I already had the
vehicle financially that wasgoing to give me the
(09:05):
breakthrough, but I wasn'ttaking it seriously, I wasn't.
I was kind of piddling aroundwith it a little bit.
I was trying to let, I wastrying to.
Here I am in this business, Ihave a business, I've started a
business, but it's not really abusiness business, it's more
like a little side hustle.
And it was a side hustlebecause I treated it like a side
(09:25):
hustle.
It was giving me exactly whatit's supposed to give me.
I made money kind ofsporadically every now and then,
but nothing really that wasgoing to not have a moment like
that not happen again.
It's just the truth.
But that night I got on my kneesand I started praying.
And you know what I heard?
A true story.
(09:46):
This is not even I didn't knowif I heard it or heard it, but
in my ear I heard it.
I heard this.
I heard this.
I've already given it to you,you haven't done anything with
it.
That's what I heard.
Basically, punk stopcomplaining.
That's basically what I heard.
Like I've already given it toyou, you're not doing anything
with it.
And now here you are begging meagain for a breakthrough.
(10:09):
I got off my knees after hearingwhat I thought I heard and I
came to the realization that atthat point I didn't deserve the
money.
I didn't deserve the money.
I didn't deserve it.
And here's how you know youdon't, because you haven't done
enough to get it.
That's why I came to it was ahard realization.
(10:29):
I'd love to say it was this andit was that, but the truth of
it was it was me.
That's the truth.
That's the truth.
And that was a hard thing toadmit.
It was a hard thing for me toadmit that I was the reason.
No one wants to takeresponsibility.
Now look, don't get me wrong.
There's times where, like, theeconomy's bad, that's true.
There are times where you knowyou have a sudden job loss
(10:51):
situation, the industry you'rein changes, that's true.
I'm not talking about thosesituations, I'm talking about my
situation.
My situation was I had thevehicle financially and I wasn't
taking it seriously.
That was my situation and Iwaited till my back was against
the wall.
I waited till my back wasagainst the wall.
(11:13):
I'm sitting whispering in thecorner of this restaurant
begging my friend to send me $50on that date.
I had to get to that point forme to wake up and look and say
this is crazy, this is realcrazy.
And I realized at that point Ididn't deserve that money
because I wasn't doing anything.
I could blame a whole lot ofpeople, but at that moment I
said there's no one to blame.
I just got to blame myself.
(11:33):
It was really takingresponsibility.
So I got up and I began toengage.
My business different, began togo on a run, and every time I
didn't feel like doing something.
I remember sitting in thatrestaurant and I remember the
feeling.
It wasn't't even about her, wedidn't even stay together, but I
know for a fact that she cameacross my path.
(11:57):
People come to your path toteach you something.
We dated and I believe theentire reason we dated was for
me to have that moment.
That's, that's the reason whybecause we aren't together now
I'm I just feel like that wasthe reason.
And when I had that moment, Iknew I had to change.
Let me ask you a question.
Just think about this for asecond.
Have you had a defining moment?
(12:17):
You might have had more thanone.
I've had a few.
I'll talk about others laterbut that was one of the ones.
That was one of the ones.
See, as a man, I have pride.
I have Jamaican blood in me.
So I've got a healthyself-esteem.
I've got pride.
We're prideful, we're known asprideful people.
For me, as a man, to sit thereand not be able to provide
(12:39):
something that I orchestrated,that hurt more than you might
realize.
Some people wouldn't care.
Some people just say I ain'tgot it.
I need you to take care of thisthing.
I ain't got it.
And she'd reach in her purseand pay and that's all good.
That wasn't how I saw the world.
How I saw the world was justdifferent.
(12:59):
So that moment really disturbedme.
It disturbed me and the factthat I had to call somebody else
to bail me out.
That disturbed me.
Now I'm blessed and grateful,but I didn't want to have to be
in that place.
What was your last definingmoment?
When was your first one?
What was that moment where yousaid enough, enough, enough,
(13:20):
enough?
Maybe your defining moment wasabout your health.
Maybe one day you looked in themirror and you're like I can't
do this, like this is crazy,like I don't even know this
person.
Who is this person that's inthis mirror right now?
Who is this person?
That's not me.
I remember me from 5, 10, 15,20 years ago.
That's not me.
Maybe that was your definingmoment.
(13:41):
Maybe your defining moment wasa bad report from a doctor and
the doctor says if you don't dothis, blank will happen.
Maybe that was was your moment.
Maybe you got fired from yourjob and you got fired from your
job, but you said you know what?
Forget it, I'm done.
I'm done with corporate america, I'm done with these people.
Blah, blah, blah.
Maybe your defining moment wasat your business.
Maybe your defining moment wasromance.
(14:01):
I don't know what your definingmoment was, but where does that
moment?
Where, like you, like it's over, like you can't do that anymore
.
You just can't.
And I don't know when thatdefining moment will be for you.
If you've already had it or not, I don't know.
But what I do know is when thatmoment comes, it comes like a
wrecking ball to everything thatwas your previous identity,
(14:25):
because that previous identitydid not serve you.
Not only did it not serve you,in some ways it punished you.
You see, there's a moment whenyou'll be punished and you will
have a choice.
You'll take that punishment andsay thank you, may I have
another.
Some people are masochisticlike that or you take that
(14:46):
moment and say that will neverhappen again, that's not
happening again.
And I have so many.
I have so many, man, I stillhave defining moments, and when
they happen for me it's likeI've got to redefine myself,
because that doesn't workanymore.
I've got to get to anotherlevel because that doesn't work
(15:07):
anymore.
Whatever that was, it doesn'twork anymore.
I've got to go to, I've got toelevate Every one of us.
We live our lives with otherpeople and some of our defining
moments, most of them, willactually come from something
with somebody else, like someother experience, and we're
supposed to learn from them.
Now, some people don't want tolearn, it's okay.
(15:29):
But I'm talking to those of youwho do want to learn.
Are you elevating from thedefining moment that was gifted
to you so that you would have arevelation of yourself?
Have you had that moment yetwhere you look in the mirror and
you say this is not okay, I'mnot okay, I'm not, this is not
okay.
I don't want to.
I don't want to live like thisanymore.
I don't want to live in thisspace.
(15:50):
I don't want to live with thisperson.
I don't want to live with thesepeople.
I don't want to talk to thesepeople.
I don't want to do that job,whatever it is.
I don't know what it is, butwhat I do know is that when it
happens, it will jar you so muchthat if you're ever going to
change, it's going to come fromthat.
That will put you on a wholeother path.
Fast forward that story I justtold you about.
(16:13):
I began to work harder I meanharder.
Eight to faint mentality on myside business.
I ended up leaving my full-timejob that I had because I put in
the work.
I discovered what work reallywas.
You know, I didn't even know mycapacity to work.
(16:37):
Pain is powerful.
Pain is a powerful thing.
Some people have other things.
Your things are way morepainful, but whatever that thing
is that pain the word passioncomes from the root of the word
pain.
Sometimes, when I do things likeeven right now, like I can feel
, I can feel that feeling likesomeone's sitting on my chest in
(16:59):
the area of money.
That day it was like someonewas sitting on my chest.
I'm breathing, but barely.
It's like treading water.
You can see that there's thisland you're supposed to get to,
but you're just treading water.
You're not.
You know it's there, you couldsee it there, but you aren't
moving, you're just treading.
You're not going back to whereyou were, but you're also not
(17:21):
moving forward.
To live and not move forward isjust so.
It's so much, it's so painfulto just live and not be moving
forward, having no progress,things looking the same, if not
worse, like it's.
You literally feel like you'removing backwards.
And then you get on socialmedia and everybody's winning
(17:42):
and everybody's happy, right,everybody's winning and happy,
and they're all making millionsof dollars and they're all
beautiful and all this stuff.
So that makes you feel evenworse.
Right, you know what I'mtalking about.
You feel even worse, but it'sonly worse if you don't move and
change when that defining,defining moment happens.
If you solve the temporaryproblem like him sending me the
(18:06):
money that was solving that wasa temporary solution, that
wasn't going to do it If youtake the defining moment and you
only give it a band-aid, youanother defining moment,
probably in that same area,later.
So if I didn't shift, I wasgonna have the same thing happen
different, different scenario,same outcome, different scenario
(18:28):
, same outcome.
And I, just, I, just, I justI'm so grateful, I'm so grateful
I'm doing this video right now.
I'm doing this video right now,I'm releasing this content
right now because I'm hopingthat everyone who hears this
will take your defining momentas your definite moment.
(18:51):
It goes from defining you tobecomes the definite you Like
I'm definitely never doing thatagain.
I'm definitely breaking through.
Like I'm definitely never doingthat again, I'm definitely
breaking through.
I'm definitely like I'm.
And you know what else isinteresting?
When I told this story back inthe day to some of the people
around me, they're like yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.
(19:13):
And then I realized somethingelse.
Oh, my God, oh, this just hitme.
Listen to this.
I realize I'm in a.
I'm in my circle.
My circle doesn't think there'sanything wrong with that.
They're okay with that, they'reokay.
I realized that day my circleis okay being in lack and it's
(19:35):
just normal.
That's what it is.
One of them says, yeah, me too,me too.
Yeah, that just happened to metoo.
And I'm thinking who am I Gotto change things?
If you want things to get better, like Jim Rohn says, you got to
get better.
Want things to get better?
You got to get better.
(19:55):
Take your defining moments andmake them your definite moments.
Look around the people.
Look at the people around you.
Are they okay as you are instruggle, or are not where you
really want to be becausethey're so used to not being
where they want to be?
Got to be careful with thosepeople if that's who you're
hanging around, because theywill normalize insanity and
(20:17):
you'll normalize it too.
Yeah, it's okay that none of ushave anything.
That's just the way it is Justthe way it is.
You ain't got, I ain't got, sheain't got, nobody got.
It's normal, it's not.
It may be normal, but itdoesn't have to be permanent.
What was your last definingmoment?
Let me know, and what did youdo to break out of it?
(20:42):
Talked to a gentleman a few daysago, told me an incredible
story.
He'd been drinking for yearsand years and years.
His wife had tried to tell himto stop.
For years and years and yearshe just couldn't let the bottle
down, just couldn't put it down.
One day wife comes home, he'staking care of the baby, but
(21:03):
he's been drinking.
Baby's laying on his chest.
He's drunk.
Wife walks in, he gets startledbecause he's drunk.
He kind of pops up Baby fallsoff his chest onto the ground.
Baby's okay.
But he never touched a bottleanother day in his life and that
was like 18 years ago I think.
(21:24):
He said that was his definingmoment.
The defining moment is a gift.
God's gifted you with.
The defining moment Only youcan decide if it's gonna be your
definite moment.
I hope you decide wisely.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
(21:47):
were, nothing would ever stop.
You see, the definition ofsight is the faculty or power of
seeing.
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