January 20, 2025 • 12 mins
What if the true measure of a person lies not in their background, but in their character and actions? Join us as we unravel this question through the enduring wisdom of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. We share deeply personal stories, including a moving visit to Dr. King's memorial in Atlanta, to shed light on how his ideals of character and perseverance continue to influence our lives today. Through heartfelt conversations with our children, we emphasize the importance of striving for excellence and giving their best effort, regardless of race or ethnicity. This episode invites you to reflect on the essence of equality and the power of personal effort to shape a fairer world.
Our exploration doesn't stop there. We tackle the complex topic of affirmative action, delving into the desire for recognition based on authentic achievements rather than diversity quotas. Inspired by Dr. King's legacy, we consider how living with integrity and purpose can lead to profound, transformative change. This conversation challenges each of us to embody the principles of character and determination, fueling a quest for a society where everyone is valued for their genuine contributions. Tune in to discover how we can all make an undeniable impact through hard work, resilience, and a commitment to equity.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To say I didn't get that because I'm black or I'm
Hispanic or I'm Asian orwhatever.
That might be true.
That might be true.
But let me tell you somethingthat's no excuse to not keep
going forward.
That's no excuse to not keepdoing your best.
You can look back and haveevery situation be bitter, or
you can move forward.
(00:20):
No matter what you do, you justkeep moving forward.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
were, nothing would ever stopyou, as always, you get value.
I want you to join thiscommunity because we have
incredible conversations and somany people need to be a part of
(00:41):
a community where you haveincredible conversations.
So I was.
I was sitting here.
You know it's.
It's Dr King's day, and when Iwas growing up, martha King's
day was a very, very big deal.
We would sit and read storiesof his life, you know.
We would sit and watch thevideo of him speaking at the
(01:01):
Washington, at the LincolnMemorial Memorial.
We would recite over and over.
I have a dream We'd hear thesong by Stevie Wonder.
All of those things happened asI began to get older.
It wasn't as predominant.
People started to look at theday, more so as I have a day off
.
I took the family recently.
(01:23):
We were down in Georgia and wehad a chance to go by the
monument for Dr King, his burial, and if you haven't been to
Georgia, it's powerful becauseyou go into Atlanta and you see
right in front of you in like afloating island.
You see the burial spot for DrKing and Coretta Scott King and
(01:46):
it's an overwhelming experiencebecause you realize that there
are two people there thatchanged history forever.
There's streets all acrossAmerica named after this man.
There's a holiday celebratedfor this man, but to just sit
and look there and see theremains of someone who did so
much at such a young age, it'sreally awe-inspiring.
(02:08):
You can feel the energy thereat the King Center.
But there's something that Ithought of recently, about his
famous.
I have a Dream speech, and whatI want to bring to your
attention is the quote where hetalks about this.
I have a dream that my fourlittle children will one day
live in a nation where they willnot be judged by the color of
(02:29):
their skin but by the content oftheir character.
I wanna stop there, becausethis is probably one of the most
famous portions of this speech.
People talk about this all thetime.
They debate about this all thetime.
And back in the day, how I wasgrowing up, that simply meant an
equal society, right, almost acolorblind society, where who I
(02:50):
was being was enough and youwouldn't make me lesser than you
because of the color of my skin.
That's where I grew up.
I want to fast forward a littlebit because I have another
perspective on this, becausethat way of being versus the way
that I think now I'm sittingdown with my son having this
(03:11):
conversation because we actuallyhave four children, so that's
relevant in my mind, and one ofthe things that he and I were
talking about was about givingyour best effort, and I don't
know how this conversation cameup about Dr King, before the
holiday.
But here's what was left with.
What was left with was that ifyou are in a place where just
(03:37):
being a young black man or, formy daughters, a young black
woman or Hispanic or Asian orwhatever that thing is, if
you're gifted to a position onlybecause of what your skin type
is, what a tragedy that would be.
It's probably not what you'reexpecting me to say, right, but
(04:00):
just think about what I'm sayingTo my daughter Okay, brilliant,
my girls are amazing.
My sons are amazing.
They're amazing people.
They care about people, theywork hard, they do their best.
These are all things that arebelow the skin, because the only
(04:25):
thing that they thought of themwas oh well, she's a young
black woman, she checks that box.
Let's bring her on God.
That'd be terrible.
I wouldn't feel good.
I wouldn't feel good.
Now I know there's some peoplewould be like no, that's been
done, that's other people havedone that forever.
That's true, I got it.
But remember what he wassayingged by the content of
(04:51):
their character, not just by thecolor of their skin.
You see, I hear that now, very,very different than I heard
before.
I want to be judged by what Icreate, the content of my
character.
I want to be judged by who I am.
I don't want you to just lookat me and give me a fail or a
pass just because of what I looklike.
(05:14):
I was having a conversation longago with one of my kids'
teachers and I was asking howare they doing?
They said oh, they're reallyjust a great student, they're
such a joy to have in class.
And I said okay, great, how arethey doing?
There's such a joy to have inclass and I said, okay, great,
how are they doing?
And they were talking about allthese things, but they weren't
(05:38):
really answering my question andthey made a slight comment that
unpacked something for me.
They said you know, it's reallygreat where students with
different backgrounds can comeinto this class and all do their
best.
And I'm thinking to myselfdifferent backgrounds well,
everyone has a differentbackground.
But what did they mean whenthey said a different background
?
What did she mean?
Oh, okay, young black student.
(06:01):
Okay, now, take it for what itis.
That's not the point.
The point was this I said toher before I left.
I said you know, I appreciateyour feedback.
This is really good for me.
Here's something that's reallyimportant to me.
What's really important to meis that my children are pushed
to do their best.
That's really important to me.
What's important to me is thatit's not looked at only about
(06:25):
where they come from though theycome from a great home, that's
there.
About where they come from,though they come from a great
home, that's there.
But that, like, they're dealtwith based on their greatest
self, not just where they comefrom, because when I was growing
up, I had certain teachers thatlooked at me because I grew up
in the hood, and that's theirexpectation.
(06:45):
They saw young black men.
That's my expectationexpectation.
They saw young black men.
That's my expectation.
Hood kid, that's it.
That's as far as he went.
But I had this lady.
Her name was Sadie and Sadiewas tough.
This lady was tough.
Oh my God.
Miss Sadie was so tough.
She wouldn't allow for me to doanything less than my best.
(07:07):
It didn't matter that I camefrom the hood, that I didn't
have some of the educationalexperiences that some other kids
in the school had.
That's not what happened.
She looked at me and saidyou're going to do your best.
In other words, she spoke to meon the content of my character,
not just by the color of myskin.
She saw me bigger than I wasand I don't know that everyone
(07:29):
has ever had a Sadie in yourlife that sees you bigger than
you are just because they expectmore from you.
That your color isn't a crutch.
Your socioeconomic backgroundisn't a crutch.
There's no crushes.
I expect you to be your best.
And because she expected me mybest, I wrote papers I would
have never written had she had alesser expectation for me.
(07:52):
I did better on tests than Iwould have ever done had she had
a lesser expectation of me.
She demanded from me greatnessand she accepted nothing less on
that person, probably over 40years ago almost 40 years ago, I
realized that that lady was theembodiment of what Dr King
(08:15):
talked about.
She wanted to work with me andshe judged me based on the
content of my character, not onthe color of my skin.
How many people look?
It's easy for us to do to justlook at someone and we already
have an assessment, and that'snormal.
That's people look.
It's easy for us to do to justlook at someone and we already
have an assessment, and that'snormal.
You can't ignore what you seewith your eyes.
(08:36):
It just is what it is.
However, to look at yourselfand to see a crutch walking,
that's a problem.
To say I didn't get thatbecause I'm black or I I'm
Hispanic or I'm Asian orwhatever, that might be true.
That might be true.
But let me tell you somethingthat's no excuse to not keep
going forward.
(08:56):
That's no excuse to not keepdoing your best.
You could look back and haveevery situation be better, or
you can move forward.
No matter what you do, you justkeep moving forward.
You see, I want to be aroundpeople that are going to
challenge me to be the bestversion of me, based on the
content of my character, ratherthan to be around people who
(09:20):
soften me because they'rejudging me by the color of my
skin.
I don't need people like thataround me.
They're not doing anything forme.
I don't need people like thataround me.
They're not doing anything forme.
I don't need to have thatmentality around me to be like,
oh well, he's this or oh, she'sthat, give him or her a pass.
I don't want a pass.
I want to do my best work andif I deserve the spot, I want to
be given the spot.
(09:41):
And if I'm not given the spot,it could be politics, it could
be racism, it could be whatever.
But I am not going to go into asituation expecting something
charitable just because of whatI look like.
I'm just not going to do thatand I don't want anyone to do
that.
I don't want anyone to expectmore from other people just
(10:04):
because of what they look like.
Look everyone.
Life is not always fair.
It's just not.
It's never going to be fairLike we live amongst other
people.
You're not fair to everyone allthe time.
I'm not fair to everyone allthe time.
However, there is something tobe said about the expectations
you place on yourself.
That's important.
(10:25):
Never want to be around peoplethat give you a pass just
because of what you look like.
What they're saying to youwithout really saying it to you
is I don't think that much ofyou, because if you're just
looking for a man to do the job,any man will do.
If you're looking for a womanto do the job, any woman will do
.
If you're looking for an Asianwoman to do the job any Asian
woman will do do.
If you're looking for a womanto do the job, any woman will do
(10:46):
.
If you're looking for an asianwoman to do the job, any asian
woman will do.
If you're looking for a blackman to do the job any black man
can do like.
If that's all you're lookingfor is to check a box, anyone
who slides into that box will do.
I want more than to be someone'schecked box.
I want to be someone whoproduces at a level where you
(11:11):
can't deny my production.
That's what I want.
I want to be someone who, whenI show up an impact, is so
obvious that you can't deny me,and if you do well, you know
what.
Sometimes life isn't fair andthat's just the way it's always
going to be, but at least I'mdoing my best effort.
(11:31):
I don't want a charitablehandout.
I want to be judged on thecontent of my character, not
just on the color of my skin.
Happy MLK Day.
And just remember you canachieve anything you really put
your mind to, once you trulydecide.
(11:51):
Look at this man.
This man changed the world, notAmerica.
He didn't just change America,he changed the world with words
and deeds.
At such a young age, what if weall took on our lives the same
way?
Let's all live our lives toraise the content of our
(12:14):
characters, to learn about howincredible you were.
Nothing would ever stop you.
See.
The definition of sight is thefaculty or power of seeing.
To say I didn't get that because I'm black or I'm
Hispanic or I'm Asian orwhatever.
That might be true.
That might be true.
But let me tell you somethingthat's no excuse to not keep
going forward.
That's no excuse to not keepdoing your best.
You can look back and haveevery situation be bitter, or
you can move forward.
(00:20):
No matter what you do, you justkeep moving forward.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
were, nothing would ever stopyou, as always, you get value.
I want you to join thiscommunity because we have
incredible conversations and somany people need to be a part of
(00:41):
a community where you haveincredible conversations.
So I was.
I was sitting here.
You know it's.
It's Dr King's day, and when Iwas growing up, martha King's
day was a very, very big deal.
We would sit and read storiesof his life, you know.
We would sit and watch thevideo of him speaking at the
(01:01):
Washington, at the LincolnMemorial Memorial.
We would recite over and over.
I have a dream We'd hear thesong by Stevie Wonder.
All of those things happened asI began to get older.
It wasn't as predominant.
People started to look at theday, more so as I have a day off
.
I took the family recently.
(01:23):
We were down in Georgia and wehad a chance to go by the
monument for Dr King, his burial, and if you haven't been to
Georgia, it's powerful becauseyou go into Atlanta and you see
right in front of you in like afloating island.
You see the burial spot for DrKing and Coretta Scott King and
(01:46):
it's an overwhelming experiencebecause you realize that there
are two people there thatchanged history forever.
There's streets all acrossAmerica named after this man.
There's a holiday celebratedfor this man, but to just sit
and look there and see theremains of someone who did so
much at such a young age, it'sreally awe-inspiring.
(02:08):
You can feel the energy thereat the King Center.
But there's something that Ithought of recently, about his
famous.
I have a Dream speech, and whatI want to bring to your
attention is the quote where hetalks about this.
I have a dream that my fourlittle children will one day
live in a nation where they willnot be judged by the color of
(02:29):
their skin but by the content oftheir character.
I wanna stop there, becausethis is probably one of the most
famous portions of this speech.
People talk about this all thetime.
They debate about this all thetime.
And back in the day, how I wasgrowing up, that simply meant an
equal society, right, almost acolorblind society, where who I
(02:50):
was being was enough and youwouldn't make me lesser than you
because of the color of my skin.
That's where I grew up.
I want to fast forward a littlebit because I have another
perspective on this, becausethat way of being versus the way
that I think now I'm sittingdown with my son having this
(03:11):
conversation because we actuallyhave four children, so that's
relevant in my mind, and one ofthe things that he and I were
talking about was about givingyour best effort, and I don't
know how this conversation cameup about Dr King, before the
holiday.
But here's what was left with.
What was left with was that ifyou are in a place where just
(03:37):
being a young black man or, formy daughters, a young black
woman or Hispanic or Asian orwhatever that thing is, if
you're gifted to a position onlybecause of what your skin type
is, what a tragedy that would be.
It's probably not what you'reexpecting me to say, right, but
(04:00):
just think about what I'm sayingTo my daughter Okay, brilliant,
my girls are amazing.
My sons are amazing.
They're amazing people.
They care about people, theywork hard, they do their best.
These are all things that arebelow the skin, because the only
(04:25):
thing that they thought of themwas oh well, she's a young
black woman, she checks that box.
Let's bring her on God.
That'd be terrible.
I wouldn't feel good.
I wouldn't feel good.
Now I know there's some peoplewould be like no, that's been
done, that's other people havedone that forever.
That's true, I got it.
But remember what he wassayingged by the content of
(04:51):
their character, not just by thecolor of their skin.
You see, I hear that now, very,very different than I heard
before.
I want to be judged by what Icreate, the content of my
character.
I want to be judged by who I am.
I don't want you to just lookat me and give me a fail or a
pass just because of what I looklike.
(05:14):
I was having a conversation longago with one of my kids'
teachers and I was asking howare they doing?
They said oh, they're reallyjust a great student, they're
such a joy to have in class.
And I said okay, great, how arethey doing?
There's such a joy to have inclass and I said, okay, great,
how are they doing?
And they were talking about allthese things, but they weren't
(05:38):
really answering my question andthey made a slight comment that
unpacked something for me.
They said you know, it's reallygreat where students with
different backgrounds can comeinto this class and all do their
best.
And I'm thinking to myselfdifferent backgrounds well,
everyone has a differentbackground.
But what did they mean whenthey said a different background
?
What did she mean?
Oh, okay, young black student.
(06:01):
Okay, now, take it for what itis.
That's not the point.
The point was this I said toher before I left.
I said you know, I appreciateyour feedback.
This is really good for me.
Here's something that's reallyimportant to me.
What's really important to meis that my children are pushed
to do their best.
That's really important to me.
What's important to me is thatit's not looked at only about
(06:25):
where they come from though theycome from a great home, that's
there.
About where they come from,though they come from a great
home, that's there.
But that, like, they're dealtwith based on their greatest
self, not just where they comefrom, because when I was growing
up, I had certain teachers thatlooked at me because I grew up
in the hood, and that's theirexpectation.
(06:45):
They saw young black men.
That's my expectationexpectation.
They saw young black men.
That's my expectation.
Hood kid, that's it.
That's as far as he went.
But I had this lady.
Her name was Sadie and Sadiewas tough.
This lady was tough.
Oh my God.
Miss Sadie was so tough.
She wouldn't allow for me to doanything less than my best.
(07:07):
It didn't matter that I camefrom the hood, that I didn't
have some of the educationalexperiences that some other kids
in the school had.
That's not what happened.
She looked at me and saidyou're going to do your best.
In other words, she spoke to meon the content of my character,
not just by the color of myskin.
She saw me bigger than I wasand I don't know that everyone
(07:29):
has ever had a Sadie in yourlife that sees you bigger than
you are just because they expectmore from you.
That your color isn't a crutch.
Your socioeconomic backgroundisn't a crutch.
There's no crushes.
I expect you to be your best.
And because she expected me mybest, I wrote papers I would
have never written had she had alesser expectation for me.
(07:52):
I did better on tests than Iwould have ever done had she had
a lesser expectation of me.
She demanded from me greatnessand she accepted nothing less on
that person, probably over 40years ago almost 40 years ago, I
realized that that lady was theembodiment of what Dr King
(08:15):
talked about.
She wanted to work with me andshe judged me based on the
content of my character, not onthe color of my skin.
How many people look?
It's easy for us to do to justlook at someone and we already
have an assessment, and that'snormal.
That's people look.
It's easy for us to do to justlook at someone and we already
have an assessment, and that'snormal.
You can't ignore what you seewith your eyes.
(08:36):
It just is what it is.
However, to look at yourselfand to see a crutch walking,
that's a problem.
To say I didn't get thatbecause I'm black or I I'm
Hispanic or I'm Asian orwhatever, that might be true.
That might be true.
But let me tell you somethingthat's no excuse to not keep
going forward.
(08:56):
That's no excuse to not keepdoing your best.
You could look back and haveevery situation be better, or
you can move forward.
No matter what you do, you justkeep moving forward.
You see, I want to be aroundpeople that are going to
challenge me to be the bestversion of me, based on the
content of my character, ratherthan to be around people who
(09:20):
soften me because they'rejudging me by the color of my
skin.
I don't need people like thataround me.
They're not doing anything forme.
I don't need people like thataround me.
They're not doing anything forme.
I don't need to have thatmentality around me to be like,
oh well, he's this or oh, she'sthat, give him or her a pass.
I don't want a pass.
I want to do my best work andif I deserve the spot, I want to
be given the spot.
(09:41):
And if I'm not given the spot,it could be politics, it could
be racism, it could be whatever.
But I am not going to go into asituation expecting something
charitable just because of whatI look like.
I'm just not going to do thatand I don't want anyone to do
that.
I don't want anyone to expectmore from other people just
(10:04):
because of what they look like.
Look everyone.
Life is not always fair.
It's just not.
It's never going to be fairLike we live amongst other
people.
You're not fair to everyone allthe time.
I'm not fair to everyone allthe time.
However, there is something tobe said about the expectations
you place on yourself.
That's important.
(10:25):
Never want to be around peoplethat give you a pass just
because of what you look like.
What they're saying to youwithout really saying it to you
is I don't think that much ofyou, because if you're just
looking for a man to do the job,any man will do.
If you're looking for a womanto do the job, any woman will do
.
If you're looking for an Asianwoman to do the job any Asian
woman will do do.
If you're looking for a womanto do the job, any woman will do
(10:46):
.
If you're looking for an asianwoman to do the job, any asian
woman will do.
If you're looking for a blackman to do the job any black man
can do like.
If that's all you're lookingfor is to check a box, anyone
who slides into that box will do.
I want more than to be someone'schecked box.
I want to be someone whoproduces at a level where you
(11:11):
can't deny my production.
That's what I want.
I want to be someone who, whenI show up an impact, is so
obvious that you can't deny me,and if you do well, you know
what.
Sometimes life isn't fair andthat's just the way it's always
going to be, but at least I'mdoing my best effort.
(11:31):
I don't want a charitablehandout.
I want to be judged on thecontent of my character, not
just on the color of my skin.
Happy MLK Day.
And just remember you canachieve anything you really put
your mind to, once you trulydecide.
(11:51):
Look at this man.
This man changed the world, notAmerica.
He didn't just change America,he changed the world with words
and deeds.
At such a young age, what if weall took on our lives the same
way?
Let's all live our lives toraise the content of our
(12:14):
characters, to learn about howincredible you were.
Nothing would ever stop you.
See.
The definition of sight is thefaculty or power of seeing.
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