Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, you guys, welcome back to the Amani Talks podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You're here with your.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Host, Amani Talks. Look y'all, it is summertime. I have
been living my life by the pool, so I don't
want to see any comments about me being like five
different shades of brown. I know, I know, but listen,
I'm tanning and it's only the beginning of the summer.
I will be getting much much darker than this, so
I don't want to hear any comments. Yes, I'm well
aware that I'm fifty shades of brown right now, but honestly,
(00:27):
I'm loving it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You know, the tan line's coming in.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I woke up this morning, took a walk around the
golf course near my apartment building, came back home, and
I had a tan line from my tank top.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Then I went out by the pool. I was out
by the pool maybe like three hours.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Came back in to change tan line from the bathing suit.
So that's just what it is. It's tan lines all summer.
I'm really loving it. It's like ninety degrees and you know,
up every day in Atlanta, and I'm not complaining because
I am a summer person.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Okay, but let's get into our episode today.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So the last episode that I put out last week
last Friday with Francesca. I've got a lot of comments
about people like saying that they enjoyed the episode, but
they were complaining because they felt like you titled this,
you know, your single season, and she didn't have a
single season because she got married very young, like twenty
(01:19):
one twenty two, which is very young, okay, And so
I was like, okay, I get it, like y'all feel
like she didn't really have much of a single season.
So I'm gonna bring you guys into my single season
because I am unmarried, like you guys know, late twenties
thirties is approaching very soon, and I have had this
(01:39):
entire time for my single season. Yes, I've dated, but
when I dated in the past at one was not
a God led relationship. It wasn't Amani led relationship every
single time. So really I've been singled this whole time.
Because if you're not married, you're single, single till you married.
Anybody that's an OG subscriber, no, that that is my model.
(02:01):
You are single until you are married. So even though
I had these little boyfriends, they were just my little friends.
How your parents used to say when you were younger old,
that's your little friend. They were my little friend. And yes,
so I've been single, you know this entire time. So
what I want to talk about are the things that
I am doing during my single season. And I made
a list of about four different things that I want
(02:23):
to talk about because we don't talk enough about what
you do while you are in your single season besides
praying for a husband. Okay, and I hate the fact
that when we are in our single season, all you
ever hear about is while you're single, pray for your husband.
What as if the only thing that God expects us
(02:44):
to do is to be a wife or a mom, Like,
are you kidding me? Just? Oh, just pray for my husband.
That's all I should be doing while I'm single?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So I'm going to give you guys what I am
doing to fulfill my life and to really live within
my purpose that I know that God has for me,
and what I'm doing to uncover that purpose as well.
So number one and this is I mean, everyone should
be doing this regardless of whatever season.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You're in in your life.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But sorry, y'all forgot to put my phone on vibrate.
It's so funny because I set up my cameras and
everything to film.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
No one has called me all day, y'all.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
When I was out for my walk, when I was
out by the pool, when I was out grocery shopping,
no one called me or texted me. My sister called me, actually,
but nobody called me all day. Then I'm setting up
to record and I literally get like three calls in
a message. I'm like, oh, everybody want to call now,
but yeah, okay, phones on vibrate. So the number one
thing that I'm doing during my Seazel Seesel single season, Okay,
(03:51):
to prepare me for who God has me to be
with and to be in the future is I'm reading
my Bible and praying every day. You're just like, okay, yeah,
I've heard that a thousand times before. But let me
tell you exactly why it is so important to me
in my single season to make sure that I'm reading
and praying every day.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Praying is how you talk to God and reading us
how He talks back to you. Now does the Holy
Spirit minister to you and convict you along the way
through your you know, every step of the way in
your life, Yes, but how will you know who God
is to get closer to him if you are not
reading who he is? John says, the Word is Jesus Christ,
(04:33):
and Jesus Christ is the Word. The Word was before
the foundation of the earth. So how do you know
who God is unless you're reading? And how do you
know who you are in the eyes of the Lord
without reading? Right? So, even if being a wife is
what you desire, that is not the only thing that
God has for you. You know that, right. So that's
(04:54):
why I get really annoyed when all I hear about
living through your single season as a woman is to
pray for your husband and pray for the husband that
God has for you know, And if I'm being honest,
that's one thing that I am not doing in my
single season. I'm not praying for a husband. I'm praying
to make sure that God is perfecting me so if
(05:16):
He has me to meet my husband next year, in
five years and ten years, that I am who He
has prepared me to be for my husband or just
in life. I'm not even gonna say for my husband
who God wants me to be for him.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
To say that you are.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Living your life and that all these years up until
your twenty eight twenty nine, all your doing is preparing
for a husband. That is not true. That is not true.
You should be focused on who God has you to be,
not who your husband is. So I'm reading and praying
every single day because i want to uncover God's purpose
for me. I want to uncover the Lord's purpose for
(05:53):
my life. Cause, like I said, even if you desire
to be a wife, and we know that those who
delight in the Lord, you will give them the desires
of their hearts, that's not all God calls you to be.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And two good examples of.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
This are the women that I had on the last
two conversations of my podcast, Francesca and Dashauna. Francesca got
married a little bit younger Dishauna waited until her early thirties.
But I would say that them being married is the
least of their titles. Did Shauna one Miss USA while
serving in the military. She's a motivational speaker, has her
(06:29):
own podcast, travels the country doing motivational talks, and if
you guys follow her, you need to go watch that episode.
It's the last episode, no, the second from last full
conversation that I posted. She is so accomplished in every
area of her life. And she literally said that she
does not think that she would have met her husband
if she was not within her purpose, because she met
(06:51):
her husband while they were both attending a wedding for
a mutual friend. But she was only at that wedding
because she met that woman while doing them Miss USA competition.
So who knows if they would have met at all,
or met in the timing in which they met if
she was not already walking in her purpose, doing pageants,
motivational speaking, just working, just being Deshauna, you see what
(07:16):
I'm saying. So both of these women have stories about
how they were just walking within their purpose and God
led them to their husbands. A lot of times we
feel like God is just going to PLoP our husbands
on our doorstep. So we're just sitting up here and
praying for a husband. No, pray that God would fulfill
his purpose within you. And I truly believe that while
(07:36):
you were getting closer to your purpose, the person that
God has you to be the path that He has
you walking on, That's how you are going to find
the person for you. It's not about finding the person
for you. And then that's going to fulfill my life.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
And God's will for me.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
No, you should be trying to get closer to God's
will for you, and then that is going to lead
you to your person. And a great example biblical example
of this is Ruth, the Book of Ruth. Now, the
Book of Ruth is about a Moabite woman who married
into an Israelite family, and when her husband died and
her husband's father was already passed, it was just her
(08:14):
and her mother in law. Now, usually what happens is,
since Ruth was still young, she could have remarried and
lived well or you know, just you know, because women
couldn't work, so they had to you know, have a
husband or a father to have a living basically. And
so since she had already moved into her husband's house,
husband died, his father died, it was just her and
(08:34):
her mother in law. Her mother in law was like,
you know, go back to you know, the land of
your people, and so you can remarry and just like.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Live your life.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
But Ruth knew that if she would have left her
mother in law, Naomi, Naomi being without a husband, being
without sons, that she probably would have ended up being
like a beggar on the street because an old woman,
she's not going to work for her money. The woman
didn't work for their money back then, so without the
male provision around her, she probably would have been a beggar.
And so Ruth understood that and she was like, no, like,
(09:06):
I'm gonna go with you. Your people will be my people,
Your God will be my God. So we see Ruth
walking within a purpose of just love and compassion on
another person. And then she's also like, I will serve
your God. And we know the God of the Israelites
is the one and only living God, the Lord that
we serve today. And so she was like, your God's
gonna be my God. And she walked within the purpose
(09:28):
of just loving people. And we know that God calls
us to love people. She loved her mother in law.
She didn't want to see her mother in law be
a beggarl on the street. She was like, no, I'm
gonna stay with you. Your people, my people, your God,
my God. And she worked and when she was working,
excuse me, I'm drinking kombucha, y'all ah. And when she
was working, it's how she met Boaz who had a
(09:51):
little money. Boas had money and Nayomi directed her and
was like, oh, I know that boas you know that
was a member her family. She was like, go and
do these things work. He will notice you. And by
the boom and by the man, like you're gonna marry him.
And that's exactly what happened. So there's another example of
(10:12):
a woman just walking within the purpose that God has
her to walk in, and God giving her her person.
So I don't like this idea of just sitting around
and being like, oh my gosh, I'm so lonely. Let
me pray for my husband. And these false prophetess and
prophets talk about this is the season of the bride,
the year the bride, pray for your husband. Like, first
(10:32):
of all, all y'all are not even gonna get husbands.
Not everybody's gonna get married. And I say that every
single episode, but I really want you to understand that. Like,
so when you hear people say this is your year
to get married, just pray for your husband and he's
gonna come.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
How you know you're not God.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So instead of sitting up here and praying for something
that you think God has for you, pray for something
that you know God has for you, because we know
that God has a will for all of our life,
in a purpose for all of our lives. Pray for
your purpose. Stop praying for a husband. So that's Number
One thing that I'm doing. I have totally stopped praying
for my husband, and I've just been praying for God
to uncover and reveal his purpose for me, and that
(11:13):
he literally holds me by the hand and pulls me
towards my purpose every single day, because even if I
do get married, I'm more than just a wife, and
so are you. So what does that look like? What
does that look like me trying to walk within my
purpose or you know, walk within the purpose that the
Lord has for me. Number One, I'm joining a church,
(11:36):
the church that I've been going to ever since February.
I've made the decision just last Sunday to actually move
forward with membership, and so I'm gonna be sitting down
with one of the elders before one of our weekly
Bible studies and just you know, going through making sure
I don't have any questions, making sure that this is
really where the Lord has me, and I already know
(11:57):
it is because the Lord has just confirmed it different
ways because I'm a little hard ahead at y'all. It's
a very small church, and it's not the demographic that
I thought that I would be within, to be honest
with you, when I think about friends and a family and.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
You know, stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But the Lord has confirmed in several different ways that
this is the church that he has for me, and
so I'm moving forward with church membership. And I say
that because I think that a lot of people do
not take church membership seriously. In the age of digital everything,
social media, you being able to get anything and everything
just from a few clicks of your thumbs on your phone.
(12:35):
I think that people have replaced the gathering of the
saints within a physical building for digital discipleship, for online church,
for just listening to a sermon Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon,
whenever you want to roll out of bed. Let me
tell you something, online church will never replace being in
(12:56):
a building with other believers watching online. An hour and
a half, even two hours, whatever the time is for
your church is never going to replace the energy of
the Holy Spirit being in the building with even if
it's just fifty other people. I go to a very
small church. I don't go to a megachurch. You know,
I want to go to a church where people know
(13:17):
my name, where people are asking me how my week was,
where the pastor knows me.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So I go to a small church.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And the energy that I feel when I go into
this church, I just feel the love of Jesus through
his people, when I feel that they're being friendly, loving.
You're not going to get that through your computer screen.
Whenever you feel like rolling out of bed on Sunday morning,
You're not going to get that. And without community, without
you being with other people, without you being in a
(13:44):
physical location with other believers. I truly don't believe that
you are going to have the full experience of communication,
of accountability, of even the feeling of being at a
through talking with other people, like being there experiencing their lives,
(14:05):
experiencing what God is doing in their lives, allowing them
to share what God is doing in their lives to
teach you something to you know, hold you up when
you're going through a tough time. You're not going to
get that sense of community through the radio, through your
TV screen, through your desktop, through your laptop, through your phone.
You're just not going to get that. I really urge
(14:27):
you all, if you are not a part of a
physical church body that's close to where you live, do that.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Do that.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It's going to inspire you to do so much more
than to just show up and listen for an hour
and a half every Sunday, because that's what it does
for me, and I listen to other sermons throughout the week.
So I go to my physical home church every Sunday
morning and then every other Wednesday for our life group
and stuff like that, but my mom sends me sermons
(14:57):
from her home church, the church that I I grew
up in. I listen to other churches that I really like,
like on YouTube throughout the week because I'm trying to
replace the music that I used to like to listen to,
would like sermons, audiobook stuff like that throughout the week.
So I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to
listen to these you know audio sermons and you know
(15:19):
visual sermons, but it will never ever ever compare with
or beat being in the church with other believers that
are going to uplift you, that are going to inspire you,
that are going to give you examples of how you
should be living your life too. I'm telling you guys,
like I said my last couple episodes, if you think
that you can do the Christian life alone, then you're wrong.
(15:39):
And isolation is one of the Devil's greatest tactics within
the church because he makes you feel like, oh, I
don't have to go to church. My my relationship with
God is strong enough. I can just read my Bible
and listen to Sunday Morning Worship and that's good enough
for me. It's not, I promise you it's not. I
don't care what you think.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Because the Bible tells us to not forsake the Assembly
of the Saints. That's a command. It's not a suggestion.
It's not, Oh, if you can make it, that's a commandment.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Go to church.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
And I think I shared this little tidbit during my
the episode that I had when I was sharing my
testimony about how if I went to church in my
younger years, not always, but sometimes it'd be a situation
to where I wanted to make sure there was enough
men for me there, you know, if I could find
(16:33):
my husband there, if it seems like I would find
a husband there.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Like stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And I just really appreciate the church that I go
to now because that's totally not a distraction for me,
and it leads me to really focus on the Lord.
I'm not looking around at who's there, and it really
leads me to focus on who I'm there for and
serving him.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And that's my next point.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Get into a church and then serve within your church.
That's another thing that I'm doing during my single season.
I'm completely devoting my time to not only being with
the Lord, but serving him and his people. Jesus came
into this world in human form as a servant. He
(17:17):
came to serve, he came to teach, he came to heal,
He came for us. So for me to think that
it's good enough for me to just walk into church
every Sunday and to not help out with any ministry.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
That's dead. That's absolutely dead.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
If you feel comfortable just going to church Sunday morning,
or just listening to your digital class, worship service, whatever,
every Sunday morning and that's all you do, that's churchy.
Your faith is dead. Sorry, but it just is. You
should feel inspired to serve within your church. You should
(17:58):
feel inspired to serve within your community. I'm not even
a member of my church yet, and I'm already feeling inspired,
Like I'm already I already have ideas about improvements and
things that I can do within my church. And I
went to the past room and I told Them'm just like,
we don't have flyers to invite people to Sunday morning.
Let me make some flyers so I can hand them
(18:18):
out at least in my apartment building. Let me, you know,
our Instagram needs some work we do. We haven't posted
on Instagram in two years. Let me take over the Instagram.
That's what I do. I'm a content creator. Let me
take over the Instagram.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Just stuff like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That, Like wherever God is calling me to be within
my church, where I feel that there is need, I
am trying to fulfill that need because I'm trying to
serve my church. But there are so many church ministries
that you can get into if you'd like, I'm every
single church I know. They always ask for more people
to work, like in the background, like in the tech,
(18:51):
you know, like the person that makes the slide shows
for the verses when the preacher is preaching, and you know,
the one that you know puts up the worship songs
and you know, camera people, audio people. You know, churches
always need that. Every single church. I'll go today asking
for more people in the in the sound room and
you know for the audio and all that kind of stuff.
Get into that. Help once a month for the church's ministry.
(19:14):
They need people to watch the little kids. They need
people to watch the babies. They don't want babies crying
when the preacher is preaching. We want to be able
to focus on the preaching, you know. Help out in
the nursery once a month something. Help out with cleaning.
Every church needs to be cleaned, you know. Every Sunday morning.
My church has like snacks and coffee and stuff like that.
(19:35):
I help out every now and again bringing in a snack.
But every church needs cleaning, you know. Volunteer once a
month to stay after Sunday and clean the church, or
come in like on a Monday afternoon or something cleaning whatever.
There are several ministries that you can get involved in
within the church. And that's something that I'm doing in
my single season to serve and to keep myself busy.
(19:57):
Because we know that idle hands are the devil's playground,
and Paul talks about that a lot in the New
Testament about how when you're a single, unmarried woman, make
yourself useful, make yourself busy. Stop going from house to
house gossiping. Idleness is not good. I'm trying to make
sure that I am using any extra free time that
I have to serve in some ministry within my church,
(20:20):
because I want my church to grow. That should be
all of our goals. Once we find a church and
we become a member, we should be serving in that church.
We should be giving our time and our money, and
we should also be in some sort of ministry that
helps the church grow. Romans ten fourteen says, how then
can they call on the one they have not believed in?
(20:41):
And how can they believe in the one of whom
they have not heard? And how can they hear without
someone preaching to them? Get these people into church. A
lot of people have an idea of who God is,
or I wouldn't even a lot of times people don't
even have an idea. They don't even know who God is.
They don't even know who the Lord is is. They
don't know who Jesus Christ is. But how will they
(21:03):
know unless they get into church? And how will they
get into church unless someone invites them? People are not
just walking into churches. Someone is inviting them, someone is
sharing their testimonies, sharing the gospel with them. Someone is like, Hey,
I'm gonna pick you up Sunday morning, let's go to church.
Let's listen to this worship music. They have people in
their life that comes into their lives and shows them
the way and gets them into church. So that's my
(21:26):
third point in my single season. I'm keeping myself busy
doing the work of the Lord within the ministry, in
my church outreach, helping people get into church, spreading the word.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I just bought like a pack of Bible tracks.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
From like Amazon for like maybe like ten dollars, and
one thing I'm gonna do is make sure I always
have cash in my car and put like three to
four dollars within each track. And whenever I see someone
that is in need of money, you know, on the street,
here's a track and some money. Because you can't just
give out Bible tracks and tell people that you're gonna
(22:03):
pray for them without fulfilling their physical need too. You know,
Jesus didn't just preach to people. He physically healed them,
He gave them food, He provided for them in their
physical needs. Also, because we are people with physical needs,
you can't just say, oh, I'm a pray for you. Meanwhile,
they're asking you for money and you got one hundred
dollars in your pocket and you don't even give them
(22:23):
a dollar. So not only am I giving my time,
I'm trying to give my money, I'm giving resources. I'm
just trying to show the love of God to people
and work within the ministry during my free time so
that I'm not worried about the husband that I don't
got and I don't become impatient with it. Because more
(22:44):
time that you stay idle waiting for God to do
something whole time he's waiting on you, the more impatient
that you'll get in the more desperate that you'll get,
the more likely you're going to try to take things
into your own hands and totally backtrack and totally delayed
the purpose that God has for you. Because that's really
(23:06):
that's a thing. You can delay God's purpose for your life.
The Israelites were delayed forty years in the wilderness. You
can delay God's purpose for your life. And this is
my last point about what I'm doing during my single
season to keep myself busy and within the will of God,
living my life. Okay, living my life. I just put
(23:29):
a video up on TikTok, maybe two or three days ago,
and I was talking about however, since I gave my
life back to Christ and I'm walking with him. When
I go out now, men don't approach me. They don't
ask me for my number. It's like I have Harry
Potter's cloak of invisibility on when I go out. And
let me tell you, when I go out, I go
out looking good. Cause one thing I also do is
(23:50):
I don't go out looking crazy anymore. I used to
every now and again go out sweatpants, you know, slides
my hair up in a bonnet if I was like
running to the bank or something like that. I don't
do that anymore. So when I go out, I make
sure I look prisonable. Right. But I just started to
(24:10):
notice how I'm just like, wow, like guys don't like
come up to me at all. I used to get
guys that would come up to me in the grocery
store when I was just out getting food. I don't know,
and now that doesn't happen. I still I'll get compliments,
Like they'll compliment me like every time I go out,
I'll have a guy be like, oh, you look really
nice today, and then he'll just keep it moving. And
(24:33):
I've come to realize that when I'm asking for God's
protection over my life in all areas, he's protecting me
against men that are going to come in and waste
my time as well. That's one thing I've noticed. If
I'm not getting approached as often as I used to,
it's because I have God's anointing on my life, and
he is like, nah, keep it moving home because she's
(24:55):
not for you.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
That's what God is doing. He's like my.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
But the opposite of what a wing man does. Because
the wing man is the one that gets you the
girls or the guys, he's keeping them away. He's my shield, right,
He's protecting me in my dating life and in that area.
And when I came to realize that, I came to realize, Okay,
I don't have to do anything extra, you know. All
(25:22):
I have to do is just live my life. So
I just go out and I just do things for enjoyment.
I'm not worried about who's seeing me. I'm not worried
about who's looking at me. All I do is I
go out and I present my best self to the world,
and that is my only job. I present my best self.
I aim to present a godly woman to the world.
(25:45):
And yeah, I just I don't even think about men
when I go out because I feel like then I
think about me.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
They don't come up to me anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And that is a blessing, because rejection is a blessing
in disguise. Let me tell you. Let me tell you,
especially with today's men. Baby, I don't think I gotta
say too much about that. Rejection is also a blessing
(26:15):
and we as women need to realize that. So that's
what I'm doing. I'm just living my life. I'm just
going out and doing things that are enjoyable for me.
What I do is I plan, maybe like one thing
a week to go out in my city and do like,
you know, stuff for free. I do things like you know,
in Atlanta, we have the Home Depot backyard that's by
the Mercedes Benz Stadium downtown or is that downtown, I
(26:37):
think it's downtown whatever, and they do free workout classes,
like every day of the week, it's a different free
workout class. I'll do one of those a week. I'll
you know, go to a run club. I'll try a
run club. I will. You know, it's this woman that
organizes hot girl walks on the belt line.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I go and do that for free.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I just go and I just do, you know, different
things in my city to just enjoy myself. And I'm
not thinking about, Oh, let me join a run club
because I heard the guys are there. Oh let me
join this because I heard that that. Like, I don't
worry about.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Stuff like that anymore. I just truly don't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Because you could put yourself in a position to be
around a thousand men every single day, but if none
of those men are for you, they're not for you,
and all you've done is just waste your time. So
how about instead of focusing on who's gonna be there,
focus on you? Am I having fun? Am I going
out to have fun for me? Or am I going
out to look for men?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Oh? Because I heard they gonna be there. The Dreadhead's
gonna be there. Like I've really.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Learned to just kind of put that stuff behind me
and to really focus on just living my life. And
I'm telling you, when I realized that God's anointing is
on my dating life and He's filtering out all the
men that would waste my time, and that's why men
are not coming up to me anymore. When I realize that,
it really put me in a position to be like, Okay, well,
(27:58):
since I can't force this, I'm gonna let go and
let God and I'm gonna just live my life. And
that's what I'm doing, truly, Like that's what I'm doing.
So am I telling you guys not to pray for
your husband, your future husband?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
No? Am I telling you guys that doing that is wrong? No?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
But all I'm saying is we know that God would
give us the desires of our hearts, but it never
talks about timing, right. I have a few verses on
my flash cards where it talks about, you know, ask
can you shall receive, knocking the door, you know, stuff
like that, but it never says, you know, the Lord
will give you these things once you pray about it.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Tomorrow or in.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
A year, you could very well be meeting your husband,
but not for another five years. And it makes me
think about once again going back to the Israelites being
let out of Egypt, because I'm that's what I'm reading
right now. I just finished the New Testament. So now
I'm bringing the Old Testament and right now I'm in
numbers and I had just finished up reading where they
(29:00):
are finally about to go into you know, crossover and
go into the land that the Lord had promised them,
and Moses is like, you know, preaching to them and
reminding them about what to do and what not to do,
and you know, YadA YadA, all that kind of stuff.
But it just made me think about how there were
so many tribes of people in the land of Canaan
before the Lord gave them that land, and how it
(29:22):
talks about that land being flowing with milk and honey,
and when the spies went into that land to go
scope it out for the Israelites, it took two men
to carry back grapes, like that's how big the fruit was.
And the you know, the cities were fortified and great cities,
and you know, all that kind of stuff, And it
just made me think like, Okay, there were people already
(29:43):
living there that cultivated that land, that built those cities,
but God is about to totally displace those people and
give that land to the Israelites instead. And the Israelites
didn't do nothing to build up that city. They didn't
do nothing. They're just about to walk into a good situation.
But that just made me think about how when you're
(30:04):
in your season of waiting for God to fulfill his
promises to you, he is already building your land. He
already has it set up for you. He's already he already,
it's already information since like it's already a work in progress.
While you're over here waiting, he's already working on it,
and he's gonna lead you to it and do time.
(30:25):
So just like there's just so many examples in the
Bible about God will fulfill his promises to you in
his timing, and while you're waiting for it, make sure
that you're asking God to prepare you for who you
need to be in order to go into the Promised
Land in order to have your what they call him
(30:45):
kingdom spouse. I've never heard that term until like last year,
Like people call it a kingdom's spouse. I'm just like,
I I that's just a really funny term to me,
because in the Kingdom, we won't have spouses. Okay, I
understand that they're talking about the Kingdom of God on earth,
Like all right, you know, but it's just funny to me,
like Kingdom's spouse, like girl your husband anyway, But yeah,
(31:11):
while you're waiting for your spouse, while you're waiting for
the promises that God has for you, ask them to
just prepare you to accept these things. Act them to
prepare you so that you are your best self for
your future husband. Ask them to prepare you so that
you are fulfilled in your life before you meet your husband,
before you get married and have kids. And now you
got the party called the ball and Chain and them
(31:32):
kids asking you for anything under the sun every single
day before you have other obligations to these people. Make
sure that you are fulfilled with who God has you
to be, so that you are satisfied with your life
by the time that God gives you your husband, by
the time that you have those kids. Make sure that
you're satisfied with your life, because one thing I would
hate to see happen is you spend all of your
(31:54):
twenties being lonely, acting like no one's in your corner,
even though the Lord is always in your corner, acting
like no one is there with you, acting like no
one's doing anything for you, just because you don't have
a husband, and then you get a husband and you realize,
like dang, Like I should have spent more time in
my purpose when I was single. I should have spent
(32:15):
more time traveling. I should have spent more time in
ministry in my church. I should have spent more time
trying to uncover the purpose that God has for me
before I got locked down with this husband and these kids.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Because once you do, that's it. That's it.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Once you get married and have them kids, since that's it.
So make sure that you are satisfied with your life
before you like all those things down. Can you grow
and do all these things while you're a mom and
a wife. Yeah, but make sure that you're satisfied with
who you are before you try to give your life
to somebody else. Read and pray every day. Uncover God's
purpose for your life. Join a physical church, join a
(32:55):
ministry within your physical church, and just live your life.
Be happy with whom God has created you to be. Because,
like I said, now all of us are going to
get a husband. So if you don't get a husband,
what's gonna happen?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Mad?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You said? For the rest of your life?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Be fulfilled with who God has you to be and.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Who He created you to be.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Before you think about being somebody's something, before you think
about being somebody's wife, before you think about being somebody's mom.
Make sure you are satisfied with your life and that
satisfaction comes from God's will for your life. So those
are the things that I'm focusing on in my single season.
I hope that encourages you all to really put time
(33:36):
and effort into your relationship with the Lord. Just to
make sure that all your bases are covered before you
hop into marriage, before you hop into children. Just make
sure that you are really satisfied with your life and
happy with it. Thank you guys for watching. I will
talk to you guys.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Lada by
Hi, you guys, welcome back to the Amani Talks podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You're here with your.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Host, Amani Talks. Look y'all, it is summertime. I have
been living my life by the pool, so I don't
want to see any comments about me being like five
different shades of brown. I know, I know, but listen,
I'm tanning and it's only the beginning of the summer.
I will be getting much much darker than this, so
I don't want to hear any comments. Yes, I'm well
aware that I'm fifty shades of brown right now, but honestly,
(00:27):
I'm loving it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You know, the tan line's coming in.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I woke up this morning, took a walk around the
golf course near my apartment building, came back home, and
I had a tan line from my tank top.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Then I went out by the pool. I was out
by the pool maybe like three hours.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Came back in to change tan line from the bathing suit.
So that's just what it is. It's tan lines all summer.
I'm really loving it. It's like ninety degrees and you know,
up every day in Atlanta, and I'm not complaining because
I am a summer person.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Okay, but let's get into our episode today.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So the last episode that I put out last week
last Friday with Francesca. I've got a lot of comments
about people like saying that they enjoyed the episode, but
they were complaining because they felt like you titled this,
you know, your single season, and she didn't have a
single season because she got married very young, like twenty
(01:19):
one twenty two, which is very young, okay, And so
I was like, okay, I get it, like y'all feel
like she didn't really have much of a single season.
So I'm gonna bring you guys into my single season
because I am unmarried, like you guys know, late twenties
thirties is approaching very soon, and I have had this
(01:39):
entire time for my single season. Yes, I've dated, but
when I dated in the past at one was not
a God led relationship. It wasn't Amani led relationship every
single time. So really I've been singled this whole time.
Because if you're not married, you're single, single till you married.
Anybody that's an OG subscriber, no, that that is my model.
(02:01):
You are single until you are married. So even though
I had these little boyfriends, they were just my little friends.
How your parents used to say when you were younger old,
that's your little friend. They were my little friend. And yes,
so I've been single, you know this entire time. So
what I want to talk about are the things that
I am doing during my single season. And I made
a list of about four different things that I want
(02:23):
to talk about because we don't talk enough about what
you do while you are in your single season besides
praying for a husband. Okay, and I hate the fact
that when we are in our single season, all you
ever hear about is while you're single, pray for your husband.
What as if the only thing that God expects us
(02:44):
to do is to be a wife or a mom, Like,
are you kidding me? Just? Oh, just pray for my husband.
That's all I should be doing while I'm single?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So I'm going to give you guys what I am
doing to fulfill my life and to really live within
my purpose that I know that God has for me,
and what I'm doing to uncover that purpose as well.
So number one and this is I mean, everyone should
be doing this regardless of whatever season.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You're in in your life.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But sorry, y'all forgot to put my phone on vibrate.
It's so funny because I set up my cameras and
everything to film.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
No one has called me all day, y'all.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
When I was out for my walk, when I was
out by the pool, when I was out grocery shopping,
no one called me or texted me. My sister called me, actually,
but nobody called me all day. Then I'm setting up
to record and I literally get like three calls in
a message. I'm like, oh, everybody want to call now,
but yeah, okay, phones on vibrate. So the number one
thing that I'm doing during my Seazel Seesel single season, Okay,
(03:51):
to prepare me for who God has me to be
with and to be in the future is I'm reading
my Bible and praying every day. You're just like, okay, yeah,
I've heard that a thousand times before. But let me
tell you exactly why it is so important to me
in my single season to make sure that I'm reading
and praying every day.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Praying is how you talk to God and reading us
how He talks back to you. Now does the Holy
Spirit minister to you and convict you along the way
through your you know, every step of the way in
your life, Yes, but how will you know who God
is to get closer to him if you are not
reading who he is? John says, the Word is Jesus Christ,
(04:33):
and Jesus Christ is the Word. The Word was before
the foundation of the earth. So how do you know
who God is unless you're reading? And how do you
know who you are in the eyes of the Lord
without reading? Right? So, even if being a wife is
what you desire, that is not the only thing that
God has for you. You know that, right. So that's
(04:54):
why I get really annoyed when all I hear about
living through your single season as a woman is to
pray for your husband and pray for the husband that
God has for you know, And if I'm being honest,
that's one thing that I am not doing in my
single season. I'm not praying for a husband. I'm praying
to make sure that God is perfecting me so if
(05:16):
He has me to meet my husband next year, in
five years and ten years, that I am who He
has prepared me to be for my husband or just
in life. I'm not even gonna say for my husband
who God wants me to be for him.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
To say that you are.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Living your life and that all these years up until
your twenty eight twenty nine, all your doing is preparing
for a husband. That is not true. That is not true.
You should be focused on who God has you to be,
not who your husband is. So I'm reading and praying
every single day because i want to uncover God's purpose
for me. I want to uncover the Lord's purpose for
(05:53):
my life. Cause, like I said, even if you desire
to be a wife, and we know that those who
delight in the Lord, you will give them the desires
of their hearts, that's not all God calls you to be.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And two good examples of.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
This are the women that I had on the last
two conversations of my podcast, Francesca and Dashauna. Francesca got
married a little bit younger Dishauna waited until her early thirties.
But I would say that them being married is the
least of their titles. Did Shauna one Miss USA while
serving in the military. She's a motivational speaker, has her
(06:29):
own podcast, travels the country doing motivational talks, and if
you guys follow her, you need to go watch that episode.
It's the last episode, no, the second from last full
conversation that I posted. She is so accomplished in every
area of her life. And she literally said that she
does not think that she would have met her husband
if she was not within her purpose, because she met
(06:51):
her husband while they were both attending a wedding for
a mutual friend. But she was only at that wedding
because she met that woman while doing them Miss USA competition.
So who knows if they would have met at all,
or met in the timing in which they met if
she was not already walking in her purpose, doing pageants,
motivational speaking, just working, just being Deshauna, you see what
(07:16):
I'm saying. So both of these women have stories about
how they were just walking within their purpose and God
led them to their husbands. A lot of times we
feel like God is just going to PLoP our husbands
on our doorstep. So we're just sitting up here and
praying for a husband. No, pray that God would fulfill
his purpose within you. And I truly believe that while
(07:36):
you were getting closer to your purpose, the person that
God has you to be the path that He has
you walking on, That's how you are going to find
the person for you. It's not about finding the person
for you. And then that's going to fulfill my life.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
And God's will for me.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
No, you should be trying to get closer to God's
will for you, and then that is going to lead
you to your person. And a great example biblical example
of this is Ruth, the Book of Ruth. Now, the
Book of Ruth is about a Moabite woman who married
into an Israelite family, and when her husband died and
her husband's father was already passed, it was just her
(08:14):
and her mother in law. Now, usually what happens is,
since Ruth was still young, she could have remarried and
lived well or you know, just you know, because women
couldn't work, so they had to you know, have a
husband or a father to have a living basically. And
so since she had already moved into her husband's house,
husband died, his father died, it was just her and
(08:34):
her mother in law. Her mother in law was like,
you know, go back to you know, the land of
your people, and so you can remarry and just like.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Live your life.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
But Ruth knew that if she would have left her
mother in law, Naomi, Naomi being without a husband, being
without sons, that she probably would have ended up being
like a beggar on the street because an old woman,
she's not going to work for her money. The woman
didn't work for their money back then, so without the
male provision around her, she probably would have been a beggar.
And so Ruth understood that and she was like, no, like,
(09:06):
I'm gonna go with you. Your people will be my people,
Your God will be my God. So we see Ruth
walking within a purpose of just love and compassion on
another person. And then she's also like, I will serve
your God. And we know the God of the Israelites
is the one and only living God, the Lord that
we serve today. And so she was like, your God's
gonna be my God. And she walked within the purpose
(09:28):
of just loving people. And we know that God calls
us to love people. She loved her mother in law.
She didn't want to see her mother in law be
a beggarl on the street. She was like, no, I'm
gonna stay with you. Your people, my people, your God,
my God. And she worked and when she was working,
excuse me, I'm drinking kombucha, y'all ah. And when she
was working, it's how she met Boaz who had a
(09:51):
little money. Boas had money and Nayomi directed her and
was like, oh, I know that boas you know that
was a member her family. She was like, go and
do these things work. He will notice you. And by
the boom and by the man, like you're gonna marry him.
And that's exactly what happened. So there's another example of
(10:12):
a woman just walking within the purpose that God has
her to walk in, and God giving her her person.
So I don't like this idea of just sitting around
and being like, oh my gosh, I'm so lonely. Let
me pray for my husband. And these false prophetess and
prophets talk about this is the season of the bride,
the year the bride, pray for your husband. Like, first
(10:32):
of all, all y'all are not even gonna get husbands.
Not everybody's gonna get married. And I say that every
single episode, but I really want you to understand that. Like,
so when you hear people say this is your year
to get married, just pray for your husband and he's
gonna come.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
How you know you're not God.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So instead of sitting up here and praying for something
that you think God has for you, pray for something
that you know God has for you, because we know
that God has a will for all of our life,
in a purpose for all of our lives. Pray for
your purpose. Stop praying for a husband. So that's Number
One thing that I'm doing. I have totally stopped praying
for my husband, and I've just been praying for God
to uncover and reveal his purpose for me, and that
(11:13):
he literally holds me by the hand and pulls me
towards my purpose every single day, because even if I
do get married, I'm more than just a wife, and
so are you. So what does that look like? What
does that look like me trying to walk within my
purpose or you know, walk within the purpose that the
Lord has for me. Number One, I'm joining a church,
(11:36):
the church that I've been going to ever since February.
I've made the decision just last Sunday to actually move
forward with membership, and so I'm gonna be sitting down
with one of the elders before one of our weekly
Bible studies and just you know, going through making sure
I don't have any questions, making sure that this is
really where the Lord has me, and I already know
(11:57):
it is because the Lord has just confirmed it different
ways because I'm a little hard ahead at y'all. It's
a very small church, and it's not the demographic that
I thought that I would be within, to be honest
with you, when I think about friends and a family and.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
You know, stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But the Lord has confirmed in several different ways that
this is the church that he has for me, and
so I'm moving forward with church membership. And I say
that because I think that a lot of people do
not take church membership seriously. In the age of digital everything,
social media, you being able to get anything and everything
just from a few clicks of your thumbs on your phone.
(12:35):
I think that people have replaced the gathering of the
saints within a physical building for digital discipleship, for online church,
for just listening to a sermon Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon,
whenever you want to roll out of bed. Let me
tell you something, online church will never replace being in
(12:56):
a building with other believers watching online. An hour and
a half, even two hours, whatever the time is for
your church is never going to replace the energy of
the Holy Spirit being in the building with even if
it's just fifty other people. I go to a very
small church. I don't go to a megachurch. You know,
I want to go to a church where people know
(13:17):
my name, where people are asking me how my week was,
where the pastor knows me.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So I go to a small church.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And the energy that I feel when I go into
this church, I just feel the love of Jesus through
his people, when I feel that they're being friendly, loving.
You're not going to get that through your computer screen.
Whenever you feel like rolling out of bed on Sunday morning,
You're not going to get that. And without community, without
you being with other people, without you being in a
(13:44):
physical location with other believers. I truly don't believe that
you are going to have the full experience of communication,
of accountability, of even the feeling of being at a
through talking with other people, like being there experiencing their lives,
(14:05):
experiencing what God is doing in their lives, allowing them
to share what God is doing in their lives to
teach you something to you know, hold you up when
you're going through a tough time. You're not going to
get that sense of community through the radio, through your
TV screen, through your desktop, through your laptop, through your phone.
You're just not going to get that. I really urge
(14:27):
you all, if you are not a part of a
physical church body that's close to where you live, do that.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Do that.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It's going to inspire you to do so much more
than to just show up and listen for an hour
and a half every Sunday, because that's what it does
for me, and I listen to other sermons throughout the week.
So I go to my physical home church every Sunday
morning and then every other Wednesday for our life group
and stuff like that, but my mom sends me sermons
(14:57):
from her home church, the church that I I grew
up in. I listen to other churches that I really like,
like on YouTube throughout the week because I'm trying to
replace the music that I used to like to listen to,
would like sermons, audiobook stuff like that throughout the week.
So I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to
listen to these you know audio sermons and you know
(15:19):
visual sermons, but it will never ever ever compare with
or beat being in the church with other believers that
are going to uplift you, that are going to inspire you,
that are going to give you examples of how you
should be living your life too. I'm telling you guys,
like I said my last couple episodes, if you think
that you can do the Christian life alone, then you're wrong.
(15:39):
And isolation is one of the Devil's greatest tactics within
the church because he makes you feel like, oh, I
don't have to go to church. My my relationship with
God is strong enough. I can just read my Bible
and listen to Sunday Morning Worship and that's good enough
for me. It's not, I promise you it's not. I
don't care what you think.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Because the Bible tells us to not forsake the Assembly
of the Saints. That's a command. It's not a suggestion.
It's not, Oh, if you can make it, that's a commandment.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Go to church.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
And I think I shared this little tidbit during my
the episode that I had when I was sharing my
testimony about how if I went to church in my
younger years, not always, but sometimes it'd be a situation
to where I wanted to make sure there was enough
men for me there, you know, if I could find
(16:33):
my husband there, if it seems like I would find
a husband there.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Like stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And I just really appreciate the church that I go
to now because that's totally not a distraction for me,
and it leads me to really focus on the Lord.
I'm not looking around at who's there, and it really
leads me to focus on who I'm there for and
serving him.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And that's my next point.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Get into a church and then serve within your church.
That's another thing that I'm doing during my single season.
I'm completely devoting my time to not only being with
the Lord, but serving him and his people. Jesus came
into this world in human form as a servant. He
(17:17):
came to serve, he came to teach, he came to heal,
He came for us. So for me to think that
it's good enough for me to just walk into church
every Sunday and to not help out with any ministry.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
That's dead. That's absolutely dead.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
If you feel comfortable just going to church Sunday morning,
or just listening to your digital class, worship service, whatever,
every Sunday morning and that's all you do, that's churchy.
Your faith is dead. Sorry, but it just is. You
should feel inspired to serve within your church. You should
(17:58):
feel inspired to serve within your community. I'm not even
a member of my church yet, and I'm already feeling inspired,
Like I'm already I already have ideas about improvements and
things that I can do within my church. And I
went to the past room and I told Them'm just like,
we don't have flyers to invite people to Sunday morning.
Let me make some flyers so I can hand them
(18:18):
out at least in my apartment building. Let me, you know,
our Instagram needs some work we do. We haven't posted
on Instagram in two years. Let me take over the Instagram.
That's what I do. I'm a content creator. Let me
take over the Instagram.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Just stuff like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That, Like wherever God is calling me to be within
my church, where I feel that there is need, I
am trying to fulfill that need because I'm trying to
serve my church. But there are so many church ministries
that you can get into if you'd like, I'm every
single church I know. They always ask for more people
to work, like in the background, like in the tech,
(18:51):
you know, like the person that makes the slide shows
for the verses when the preacher is preaching, and you know,
the one that you know puts up the worship songs
and you know, camera people, audio people. You know, churches
always need that. Every single church. I'll go today asking
for more people in the in the sound room and
you know for the audio and all that kind of stuff.
Get into that. Help once a month for the church's ministry.
(19:14):
They need people to watch the little kids. They need
people to watch the babies. They don't want babies crying
when the preacher is preaching. We want to be able
to focus on the preaching, you know. Help out in
the nursery once a month something. Help out with cleaning.
Every church needs to be cleaned, you know. Every Sunday morning.
My church has like snacks and coffee and stuff like that.
(19:35):
I help out every now and again bringing in a snack.
But every church needs cleaning, you know. Volunteer once a
month to stay after Sunday and clean the church, or
come in like on a Monday afternoon or something cleaning whatever.
There are several ministries that you can get involved in
within the church. And that's something that I'm doing in
my single season to serve and to keep myself busy.
(19:57):
Because we know that idle hands are the devil's playground,
and Paul talks about that a lot in the New
Testament about how when you're a single, unmarried woman, make
yourself useful, make yourself busy. Stop going from house to
house gossiping. Idleness is not good. I'm trying to make
sure that I am using any extra free time that
I have to serve in some ministry within my church,
(20:20):
because I want my church to grow. That should be
all of our goals. Once we find a church and
we become a member, we should be serving in that church.
We should be giving our time and our money, and
we should also be in some sort of ministry that
helps the church grow. Romans ten fourteen says, how then
can they call on the one they have not believed in?
(20:41):
And how can they believe in the one of whom
they have not heard? And how can they hear without
someone preaching to them? Get these people into church. A
lot of people have an idea of who God is,
or I wouldn't even a lot of times people don't
even have an idea. They don't even know who God is.
They don't even know who the Lord is is. They
don't know who Jesus Christ is. But how will they
(21:03):
know unless they get into church? And how will they
get into church unless someone invites them? People are not
just walking into churches. Someone is inviting them, someone is
sharing their testimonies, sharing the gospel with them. Someone is like, Hey,
I'm gonna pick you up Sunday morning, let's go to church.
Let's listen to this worship music. They have people in
their life that comes into their lives and shows them
the way and gets them into church. So that's my
(21:26):
third point in my single season. I'm keeping myself busy
doing the work of the Lord within the ministry, in
my church outreach, helping people get into church, spreading the word.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I just bought like a pack of Bible tracks.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
From like Amazon for like maybe like ten dollars, and
one thing I'm gonna do is make sure I always
have cash in my car and put like three to
four dollars within each track. And whenever I see someone
that is in need of money, you know, on the street,
here's a track and some money. Because you can't just
give out Bible tracks and tell people that you're gonna
(22:03):
pray for them without fulfilling their physical need too. You know,
Jesus didn't just preach to people. He physically healed them,
He gave them food, He provided for them in their
physical needs. Also, because we are people with physical needs,
you can't just say, oh, I'm a pray for you. Meanwhile,
they're asking you for money and you got one hundred
dollars in your pocket and you don't even give them
(22:23):
a dollar. So not only am I giving my time,
I'm trying to give my money, I'm giving resources. I'm
just trying to show the love of God to people
and work within the ministry during my free time so
that I'm not worried about the husband that I don't
got and I don't become impatient with it. Because more
(22:44):
time that you stay idle waiting for God to do
something whole time he's waiting on you, the more impatient
that you'll get in the more desperate that you'll get,
the more likely you're going to try to take things
into your own hands and totally backtrack and totally delayed
the purpose that God has for you. Because that's really
(23:06):
that's a thing. You can delay God's purpose for your life.
The Israelites were delayed forty years in the wilderness. You
can delay God's purpose for your life. And this is
my last point about what I'm doing during my single
season to keep myself busy and within the will of God,
living my life. Okay, living my life. I just put
(23:29):
a video up on TikTok, maybe two or three days ago,
and I was talking about however, since I gave my
life back to Christ and I'm walking with him. When
I go out now, men don't approach me. They don't
ask me for my number. It's like I have Harry
Potter's cloak of invisibility on when I go out. And
let me tell you, when I go out, I go
out looking good. Cause one thing I also do is
(23:50):
I don't go out looking crazy anymore. I used to
every now and again go out sweatpants, you know, slides
my hair up in a bonnet if I was like
running to the bank or something like that. I don't
do that anymore. So when I go out, I make
sure I look prisonable. Right. But I just started to
(24:10):
notice how I'm just like, wow, like guys don't like
come up to me at all. I used to get
guys that would come up to me in the grocery
store when I was just out getting food. I don't know,
and now that doesn't happen. I still I'll get compliments,
Like they'll compliment me like every time I go out,
I'll have a guy be like, oh, you look really
nice today, and then he'll just keep it moving. And
(24:33):
I've come to realize that when I'm asking for God's
protection over my life in all areas, he's protecting me
against men that are going to come in and waste
my time as well. That's one thing I've noticed. If
I'm not getting approached as often as I used to,
it's because I have God's anointing on my life, and
he is like, nah, keep it moving home because she's
(24:55):
not for you.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
That's what God is doing. He's like my.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
But the opposite of what a wing man does. Because
the wing man is the one that gets you the
girls or the guys, he's keeping them away. He's my shield, right,
He's protecting me in my dating life and in that area.
And when I came to realize that, I came to realize, Okay,
I don't have to do anything extra, you know. All
(25:22):
I have to do is just live my life. So
I just go out and I just do things for enjoyment.
I'm not worried about who's seeing me. I'm not worried
about who's looking at me. All I do is I
go out and I present my best self to the world,
and that is my only job. I present my best self.
I aim to present a godly woman to the world.
(25:45):
And yeah, I just I don't even think about men
when I go out because I feel like then I
think about me.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
They don't come up to me anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And that is a blessing, because rejection is a blessing
in disguise. Let me tell you. Let me tell you,
especially with today's men. Baby, I don't think I gotta
say too much about that. Rejection is also a blessing
(26:15):
and we as women need to realize that. So that's
what I'm doing. I'm just living my life. I'm just
going out and doing things that are enjoyable for me.
What I do is I plan, maybe like one thing
a week to go out in my city and do like,
you know, stuff for free. I do things like you know,
in Atlanta, we have the Home Depot backyard that's by
the Mercedes Benz Stadium downtown or is that downtown, I
(26:37):
think it's downtown whatever, and they do free workout classes,
like every day of the week, it's a different free
workout class. I'll do one of those a week. I'll
you know, go to a run club. I'll try a
run club. I will. You know, it's this woman that
organizes hot girl walks on the belt line.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I go and do that for free.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I just go and I just do, you know, different
things in my city to just enjoy myself. And I'm
not thinking about, Oh, let me join a run club
because I heard the guys are there. Oh let me
join this because I heard that that. Like, I don't
worry about.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Stuff like that anymore. I just truly don't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Because you could put yourself in a position to be
around a thousand men every single day, but if none
of those men are for you, they're not for you,
and all you've done is just waste your time. So
how about instead of focusing on who's gonna be there,
focus on you? Am I having fun? Am I going
out to have fun for me? Or am I going
out to look for men?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Oh? Because I heard they gonna be there. The Dreadhead's
gonna be there. Like I've really.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Learned to just kind of put that stuff behind me
and to really focus on just living my life. And
I'm telling you, when I realized that God's anointing is
on my dating life and He's filtering out all the
men that would waste my time, and that's why men
are not coming up to me anymore. When I realize that,
it really put me in a position to be like, Okay, well,
(27:58):
since I can't force this, I'm gonna let go and
let God and I'm gonna just live my life. And
that's what I'm doing, truly, Like that's what I'm doing.
So am I telling you guys not to pray for
your husband, your future husband?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
No? Am I telling you guys that doing that is wrong? No?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
But all I'm saying is we know that God would
give us the desires of our hearts, but it never
talks about timing, right. I have a few verses on
my flash cards where it talks about, you know, ask
can you shall receive, knocking the door, you know, stuff
like that, but it never says, you know, the Lord
will give you these things once you pray about it.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Tomorrow or in.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
A year, you could very well be meeting your husband,
but not for another five years. And it makes me
think about once again going back to the Israelites being
let out of Egypt, because I'm that's what I'm reading
right now. I just finished the New Testament. So now
I'm bringing the Old Testament and right now I'm in
numbers and I had just finished up reading where they
(29:00):
are finally about to go into you know, crossover and
go into the land that the Lord had promised them,
and Moses is like, you know, preaching to them and
reminding them about what to do and what not to do,
and you know, YadA YadA, all that kind of stuff.
But it just made me think about how there were
so many tribes of people in the land of Canaan
before the Lord gave them that land, and how it
(29:22):
talks about that land being flowing with milk and honey,
and when the spies went into that land to go
scope it out for the Israelites, it took two men
to carry back grapes, like that's how big the fruit was.
And the you know, the cities were fortified and great cities,
and you know, all that kind of stuff, And it
just made me think like, Okay, there were people already
(29:43):
living there that cultivated that land, that built those cities,
but God is about to totally displace those people and
give that land to the Israelites instead. And the Israelites
didn't do nothing to build up that city. They didn't
do nothing. They're just about to walk into a good situation.
But that just made me think about how when you're
(30:04):
in your season of waiting for God to fulfill his
promises to you, he is already building your land. He
already has it set up for you. He's already he already,
it's already information since like it's already a work in progress.
While you're over here waiting, he's already working on it,
and he's gonna lead you to it and do time.
(30:25):
So just like there's just so many examples in the
Bible about God will fulfill his promises to you in
his timing, and while you're waiting for it, make sure
that you're asking God to prepare you for who you
need to be in order to go into the Promised
Land in order to have your what they call him
(30:45):
kingdom spouse. I've never heard that term until like last year,
Like people call it a kingdom's spouse. I'm just like,
I I that's just a really funny term to me,
because in the Kingdom, we won't have spouses. Okay, I
understand that they're talking about the Kingdom of God on earth,
Like all right, you know, but it's just funny to me,
like Kingdom's spouse, like girl your husband anyway, But yeah,
(31:11):
while you're waiting for your spouse, while you're waiting for
the promises that God has for you, ask them to
just prepare you to accept these things. Act them to
prepare you so that you are your best self for
your future husband. Ask them to prepare you so that
you are fulfilled in your life before you meet your husband,
before you get married and have kids. And now you
got the party called the ball and Chain and them
(31:32):
kids asking you for anything under the sun every single
day before you have other obligations to these people. Make
sure that you are fulfilled with who God has you
to be, so that you are satisfied with your life
by the time that God gives you your husband, by
the time that you have those kids. Make sure that
you're satisfied with your life, because one thing I would
hate to see happen is you spend all of your
(31:54):
twenties being lonely, acting like no one's in your corner,
even though the Lord is always in your corner, acting
like no one is there with you, acting like no
one's doing anything for you, just because you don't have
a husband, and then you get a husband and you realize,
like dang, Like I should have spent more time in
my purpose when I was single. I should have spent
(32:15):
more time traveling. I should have spent more time in
ministry in my church. I should have spent more time
trying to uncover the purpose that God has for me
before I got locked down with this husband and these kids.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Because once you do, that's it. That's it.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Once you get married and have them kids, since that's it.
So make sure that you are satisfied with your life
before you like all those things down. Can you grow
and do all these things while you're a mom and
a wife. Yeah, but make sure that you're satisfied with
who you are before you try to give your life
to somebody else. Read and pray every day. Uncover God's
purpose for your life. Join a physical church, join a
(32:55):
ministry within your physical church, and just live your life.
Be happy with whom God has created you to be. Because,
like I said, now all of us are going to
get a husband. So if you don't get a husband,
what's gonna happen?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Mad?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You said? For the rest of your life?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Be fulfilled with who God has you to be and.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Who He created you to be.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Before you think about being somebody's something, before you think
about being somebody's wife, before you think about being somebody's mom.
Make sure you are satisfied with your life and that
satisfaction comes from God's will for your life. So those
are the things that I'm focusing on in my single season.
I hope that encourages you all to really put time
(33:36):
and effort into your relationship with the Lord. Just to
make sure that all your bases are covered before you
hop into marriage, before you hop into children. Just make
sure that you are really satisfied with your life and
happy with it. Thank you guys for watching. I will
talk to you guys.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
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