66 | Why Ambitious Women Are So Lonely — with Danielle Bayard Jackson

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In this week's episode, Monique welcomes Danielle Bayard Jackson, a relational health educator, to discuss the complexities of female friendships, particularly for ambitious women of color. 

Throughout the conversation, they unpack the three affinities that strengthen female friendships: symmetry, support, and secrecy. Danielle emphasizes the importance of reciprocity and vulnerability, encouraging listeners to embrace their needs and foster deeper connections. Monique and Danielle also address the impact of competition within friendships and how it can create barriers to intimacy.

If you are an ambitious woman feeling isolated in your friendships, press play to discover how to cultivate deeper connections and break the cycle of loneliness.

GUEST INFO

Danielle Bayard Jackson, Women’s Relational Health Educator and Director of the Women’s Relational Health Institute |  Website | Book | Podcast | TikTok | Instagram

GEMS DROPPED

“​I ​think ​a ​lot ​of ​people ​would ​be ​surprised ​to ​know ​that ​most ​of ​the ​women ​I ​work ​with ​are ​high ​achieving ​women. ​They're ​not ​women ​who ​don't ​have ​social ​skills ​or ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​have ​a ​conversation. ​These ​are ​women ​who ​are ​charismatic, ​​who ​are ​extroverted. ​They ​have ​no ​shortage ​of ​social ​connections, ​but ​it's ​just ​that ​they ​feel ​so ​deeply ​unsatisfied ​with ​the ​connections ​they ​have. ​And ​of ​course, ​this ​is ​something ​that ​they ​are ​harboring ​secretly ​because ​to ​publicly ​announce ​that ​you ​are ​having ​challenges ​with ​what ​other ​people ​think ​should ​come ​so ​naturally ​bring ​some ​sort ​of ​shame. ​And ​it ​also ​detracts ​from ​this ​image ​of ​self-​sufficiency ​that ​an ​ambitious ​woman ​would ​like ​to ​project.” -  Danielle Bayard Jackson

“On ​one ​hand, you ​feel ​the ​weight ​of the ​expectations ​that ​we ​place ​on ​each ​other. ​But ​on ​the ​other ​hand, ​it's ​like, ​yes. ​And ​it's ​partially ​for ​really ​good ​reason, ​because ​there's ​so ​much ​available ​when ​we ​can ​reach ​that ​depth ​with ​one ​another ​and ​then ​navigate ​the ​times ​where ​inevitably ​conflict ​strikes.“ - Monique R. Shields

“There ​are ​so ​many ​things ​I ​think ​we ​overlook ​when ​it ​comes ​to ​building ​close ​relationships. ​I ​think ​we ​think ​of sharing ​secrets ​and ​being ​vulnerable. ​And ​that's ​all ​true, ​but ​it's ​other ​surprising ​things, ​like navigating ​healthy ​conflicts or ​receiving ​help. ​The ​research ​finds ​that ​that's ​a ​prerequisite ​to ​platonic ​intimacy.” -  Danielle Bayard Jackson

“You ​do ​have ​to ​shift ​your ​beliefs ​to ​shift ​your ​behaviors. ​And ​if ​you ​can ​get ​yourself ​into ​this ​practice ​of ​checking ​in ​on your ​values. ​We ​can ​all ​recall ​a ​time ​where ​​we ​had ​the ​good ​feels ​for ​being ​able ​to ​show ​up ​for ​somebody ​else, ​and ​it ​is ​robbing your friends ​of ​that ​experience. ​It's ​a ​gift ​to ​let ​somebody ​give ​to ​you.” - Monique R. Shields

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