Charessa Koontz Shares Wisdom on Nurturing Healthy Sexuality in Youth

This episode delves into the complexities of human sexuality, emphasizing the importance of open and loving conversations around sexual integrity, identity, and the challenges faced by today's youth. Charessa Koontz shares valuable insights on the changing attitudes of Generation Z regarding sexuality, the impact of pornography, and practical ways for families to engage in these essential discussions.

Infograpic:
https://www.dailyinfographic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/internet_porn-640x2590.jpg

• Recognizing the need for deeper conversations on sexuality 
• Emphasizing sexual integrity over sexual purity 
• Discussing alarming statistics about teen sexual activity and pornography exposure 
• Highlighting the rise of LGBTQ+ identification among Gen Z 
• Addressing the importance of healthy communication with parents and young people 
• Understanding the role of shame and the need for grace in conversations 
• Advocating for singleness as a valid and esteemed lifestyle choice 
• Offering practical tips for engaging in sensitive discussions 
• Encouraging ongoing discourse rather than one-time talks 
• Highlighting resources for further education on this crucial topic

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the American Reformation podcast.
I pray.
The joy of Jesus is yourstrength.
I am Tim Allman and today I getthe privilege of hanging out
for the second time withCharissa Kuntz.
How are you doing, charissa?

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I'm great.
How are you doing today, Tim?

Speaker 1 (00:26):
So good.
25 years of the DCE she's beenin family life ministry and last
time we talked we did a lot of.
We did a lot of, had a lot ofconversation on caring for the
next gen, the anxious generation, et cetera.
But she's done a lot of work inhuman sexuality.
And sexuality is such a kind ofa loaded topic today and I

(00:50):
think we need to learn more.
We know that Satan loves tosteal, kill, destroy and divide
us from one another and fromothers who are created in the
image of God, but maybe makingdifferent choices, maybe
confused, and as Lutheransspecifically and we got
non-Lutherans listening to thisbut identity, baptismal identity

(01:14):
, is such a major part of ourstory, and then our identity and
our various vocations as ahusband and father, wife, mother
and out into the marketplace.
So identity is huge and that'swhere we're going to be
orienting ourselves today.
So tell us, charissa, how youkind of came to wanting to do
deep work on the topic of humansexuality.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Right, so I'll kind of start.
So I was a student at ConcordiaUniversity, nebraska, and I was
just finishing up.
My husband and I were married.
I got married in Nebraska and Iwas just finishing up.
You know, my husband and I weremarried.
I got married in college but Iwas finishing up.
But I was taking a group in myfieldwork time to the Nebraska
district kind of youth gatheringand I don't even remember the

(01:56):
theme of that gathering.
But in the course of thatweekend I had two youth kind of
come up to me and had a lot ofquestions about sexual
preferences and even behaviorand I was like wow, first of all
, thank you, I am honored thatyou even trust me to come and
like talk about this.
But at the same time I felt likevery ill prepared, even though

(02:19):
I had done some work in schooland kind of had these
conversations.
I was like, wow, this is if I'mreally going to like lean into
these really intimate placeswith people like I've got some
work to do.
And especially for those of usin youth ministry, we spend the
majority of our work working notonly with students but their
parents and families before,during and after puberty and all

(02:42):
of that very kind of season ofa lot of questioning, as you
eloquently said, our identityand really wrestling through
that in so many different ways.
And so I just felt like, if Iwas going to walk with youth and
adults, well, that I needed todo some work.
So that's what really led meinto like really kind of diving
in and kind of being focused onit and being able to kind of

(03:05):
speak from a place of love andgrace and truth.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Do you think and this wasn't actually on the list of
questions I asked, so I hopeit's okay but has this topic
elevated as you look at youthpastors, dces, et cetera?
I think the answer is yesbecause of social media, the
exposure to immorality in theonline space, the rise in

(03:32):
pornography usage, et cetera.
Has this even in your 25 years?
Has this topic even become morenecessary to become and I don't
like using the word expert on,but at least proficient at
having a Jesus-centeredconversation on?
Talk about that a little bit,charissa.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Absolutely, and I'm going to share some stats here
in a little bit that will kindof speak to that very thing.
But, kind of like I said, I hadthat conversation almost 25
years ago but the conversationis bigger.
That was kind of an individualconversation.
Now we're having conversationsmore in the corporate space,
right, in kind of an individualconversation.
Now we're having conversationsmore in the corporate space,

(04:08):
right In terms of how we addressit and I think even the nuance
of how we address it.
It's not just a one and doneconversation.
It needs to be an ongoing kindof conversation about how we
lean in and discuss things.
And I always want to say it's aconversation, not a
presentation.
And I always want to say it's aconversation, not a
presentation because you aredealing with individual people

(04:29):
who are created by God, right,and they need to see themselves
in that space.
And when we talked in our lastpodcast, I talked a lot about
baptismal identity and beingfully known and fully loved.
When we are sitting withsomebody in that space, we need
to be Jesus in that space thatthey feel fully known and fully
loved.
When we are sitting withsomebody in that space, we need
to be Jesus in that space thatthey feel fully known and fully
loved in those kind ofconversations, and so we can't

(04:53):
assume everybody has even thesame language.
There's a lot of conversationabout how we even speak, about
these things, and so I thinkit's really important for, as
you said, for us to, if we'regoing to have a space in that
conversation, we need to do someeducation of ourselves and the
culture so that we can speakinto it in a way that people are

(05:16):
willing to listen and to giveus and honor us with those
conversations with thoseconversations, so it's so good.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'd love for you to speak to now, parents and
grandparents who one think, well, I had the talk right and I had
one and done with my kid orgrandkid, just don't do it.
Don't be whatever you know, bewho God made you.
You know that kind of thing.
There's a kind of a gruffness,or maybe an aloofness, or maybe
even an anger, you know, becauseso many things in our culture
become so politicized, right,lgbtq plus.

(05:48):
Well, if you're in that, you'reobviously a Democrat.
I don't.
I'm not a Democrat.
You know this kind of thing.
And we get so far stretched, Ithink, from the grassroots of
real life, especially with thenext gen, a lot of the pressures
that that they have.
So, to that audience, whatwould people be surprised to
know about Generation Z as itrelates to human sexuality?

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Well, and I love that you said that too, because I
think even the way generationstalk about sex is very different
, and part of it's because weonly know what we have right,
like maybe what we experiencedor the kind of conversation that
we had.
And so I'm going to talk aboutthat a little bit later when I
kind of talk about some tipsabout how to have those healthy
conversations.
But here's some stats, okay.

(06:32):
So for those watching online, Iapologize.
I'm picking up a piece of paperto look at a lot of stats.
I don't want to mess them up,right, but here's one that I
think is very interesting andintriguing is that teens are
actually having less sex,they're less sexually active
than their previous generations,and that might be shocking.
I think when, tim, when you andI were kind of growing up there

(06:53):
, there was this feeling inschool like everybody's doing it
.
Well, no, not everybody's doingit, not everybody's Kung Fu
fighting right, like the ideathat actually we're seeing that
percentage change In fact, ideathat actually we're seeing that
percentage change.
In fact, between 1991 and 2021,the percentage of high
schoolers that have never, never, engaged in sexual intercourse

(07:13):
increased from 45.9% to 70%.
That's huge.
That's a huge jump right.
The greatest improvement by anygroup in that they were looking
at gender, they were looking atethnicity and things like that.
Actually, it was black maleteens.
Their numbers improved the mostduring that time period.
Also, teen births declined by78 percent during that time and

(07:35):
we just see that teens areactually delaying sexual
activity more and more asdifferent education
opportunities are happening intheir schools and things like
that.
However, I wanna share some ofthe other side of the stats, and
you kind of brought it up interms of pornography and,
honestly, I'm hoping that I cangive you a link that maybe you

(07:58):
can give to your listeners onyour site, because I have this
wonderful, amazing infographicthat really lays this out.
This is from an organizationthat's doing some really great
work in this area called Fightthe New Drug, and so I'm going
to give you the link to it.
But I'm going to share some ofthose stats on pornography, and
I think this is eye opening forthat generation in terms of why

(08:19):
they need to be speaking intothese spaces, especially in
relationship to pornography.
And then we'll get to the LGBTQstats that you were kind of
alluding to as well.
93% of boys and 62% of girls areexposed to internet pornography
before the age of 18.
So while they are prolongingand waiting to have sex, more of

(08:42):
them are being exposed to it.
So we're going to talk aboutthe confusing duality of that a
little bit.
The average age of firstexposure is 11.
And that research was done justa couple of years ago.
Actually, we're seeing thatthat is trending downward.
That actually the latest figureI kind of heard.
Maybe that average age iscloser to eight.
That's terrifying, right.

(09:03):
Eight years old, that's asecond grader.
And when we think about asecond grader, what they know
about the world, what they knowabout their bodies.
They haven't even hit pubertyand yet they're being exposed to
this online.
70% of boys have spent morethan 30 minutes watching
pornography, and more than halfof them have done that more than
10 times.
So they're watching for 30minutes and more than half of

(09:26):
them have done that at least 10times.
Now here's another interestingfact that gender gap is closing
23% of girls have spent morethan 30 minutes online and,
again, more than half of themhave done that on more than one
occasion.
So what we're seeing is it'shappening at a younger age, it's
happening to a larger group,it's happening at a younger age,
it's happening to a largergroup, it's happening at greater

(09:47):
frequency, and that male-femalegap is really narrowing.
And we know that pornography isextremely addictive.
In fact, the brain research isshowing that it has the same
addictive effects as cocaine andeven hard drugs, and so that
addictive nature to pornographyis really difficult, and I
actually say that I think it'sprobably one of the worst

(10:08):
addictions to fight, becauseonce it's in there, I can't get
it out right Like it's a verydifficult one.
And we also know thatpornography has this way of
rewiring our brain and creatingthese body mind connections that
are really damaging to ourhuman sexuality, especially when
we get into maritalrelationships as well.

(10:30):
We're seeing a huge increaseand I'm going to use a word that
maybe is going to shock somepeople but we're seeing a huge
increase in erectile dysfunctionin 2030 and 40 year old males
because they have been so wiredtoward pornography so that when
they're actually engaging in arelationship, hopefully with
their spouse, their inability toengage is really difficult

(10:55):
because they've created a mindbody connection that has been
distorted.
It is incredible the stats onthat sheet that I was just
showing you as well is thatevery second, every single
second, $3,000 is being spent onpornography online Every single
second.
That's incredible and, like Isaid, I'm going to share these

(11:17):
stats with you and so you cansee them even more.
The number one day, the leastpopular day to view porn, is
coming up.
It's Thanksgiving, but the sadreality is the most viewed porn
day of the week is Sunday.
There's a lot there.
Some other stats in terms ofLGBTQ that I think is Can we

(11:39):
pause?

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Can we pause just a second before we get into LGBTQ
conversations?
A lot of the pornographyindustry if we've got a
conscience is driven by the sextrade industry.
Correct, and I don't think wewant to consider that much.

(12:02):
Right, we want to disassociate.
We don't realize this is theprecious young lady, precious
young man or older lady, olderman, it doesn't matter but who
are probably being forced intothese acts against their will,
for money.
You are fueling and I'm sorryto get pointed on this, but if
you don't want the boundaries,if you don't want accountability

(12:24):
, if you just want to dowhatever it is you do and think
it's a victimless act, it ispure evil that you need to ask
for help against.
I'm a part of Not In Our City,which is a Phoenix movement.
It's a Christian church, allsorts of pastors along with
government leaders comingtogether.

(12:46):
I was at a Gilbert DeclarationDay.
This is where we live.
I went to a Mesa we have achurch in Mesa as well a Mesa
Declaration Day to say we'regoing to do everything between
government and the faithcommunity to say not in our city
.
This cannot happen here.
We've hosted the Super Bowlhere and you would not believe

(13:09):
the amount of money that, whenyou host a Super Bowl, flow into
your city connected to the sextrade industry.
It is absolutely disgusting,evil, darkest of dark that you
can possibly imagine.
And so this is just a warning,and there may be pastors that
are listening to this.
You are not immune.
Who is your accountabilityfriend?

(13:31):
I'm going to shout out to ZachZender we talk all the time.
You've got to have a buddy thatwe check in with and tools.
My favorite app that me and myfamily are on is called
Accountable To you.
Accountable To you If you needhelp.
It's a wonderful app that youand my family are on is called
Accountable To you.
Accountable To you if you needhelp.
It's a wonderful app that youput on your phone, all of your
devices.
It gives reports and you get toname an accountability friend

(13:52):
who gets that report.
And you don't want to have thatconversation.
So I think your conscienceshould be appropriately made
guilty and there's anappropriate use of shame as well
in this conversation.
Shame on you for fueling thesex trade industry by not having
an accountable conversation.
This is all saturated, by theway, in the law.

(14:13):
This is strong law.
By the way, this is highlysaturated in the identity that
Jesus has given to you.
You are forgiven, you are loved, and now you are and this is
the Apostle Paul your body.
When he talks about the templeof the Holy Spirit, he's talking
about sexual immorality, rightTo the church there in Corinth.

(14:33):
So this is a big deal.
You are not your own.
Your body has been bought withthe price of Christ's blood and
you no longer live.
Christ lives within you, andshall we take the body that has
been?
This is what the Apostle Paul,the argument he makes a body
that has been sanctified by theblood of Jesus and connected to
a prostitute, connected tosomebody who's satisfying our

(14:54):
wild fantasies online.
Far be it for the Christian tohave any kind of connection to
that dark industry.
So it's saturated in grace.
We're in other podcasts wherethe gospel is not the diving
board.
The gospel is the pool.
Now we're swimming in thisgospel pool and we're caring for
one another.
We need one another andaccountability in grace needs to

(15:16):
be the starting point for thosewho are struggling.
So thank you for allowing me tojust share a little bit from
the heart there.
This is a major issue and it'sdampening.
What does Satan want to do?
He wants to put shame and guiltupon you.
Who are you to actually talkabout?
The light and love of Jesus?
If only they knew what you weredoing.
So it's hampering our gospelwitness and the days are far too

(15:37):
short for us to have it hamperit any longer.
So short little homily done,charissa.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Take it to the next step.
I'm going to jump on thatactually though, Tim, because
that's perfect Because when welook in Genesis right, they were
naked and not ashamed.
They walked in the garden withGod Like they were truly the
image bearers of Christ.
And when sin came into the worldimmediately again, it says
their eyes were opened and theysaw that they were naked and
they were ashamed and theywanted to cover themselves, they

(16:04):
wanted to hide, they no longerlooked at each other as this
beautiful image bearer of Christ.
Now they're looking at eachother from a sinful lens of oh
right, and so there is a lot ofshame, unfortunately, around
this beautiful gift that Godgave us because of sin, and so
we do need to kind of speak outon that.

(16:25):
And what's incredibly sad isthat we are seeing that 15% of
the internet is pornographysites, and that's sad and a
statistic in itself.
And, like you said, like whenwe were growing up, you had to
go to a store, there were lawsand rules about how far they had
to be from communities,churches, schools, and now your

(16:48):
community.
Like, when they go to prosecuteit, they can't because this is
your community, right?
Like your cell phone, thisminiature supercomputer, is now
your community, and so the lawsthat used to protect really are
struggling in this new kind ofworld where you have access no
matter where you are in theworld.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Essentially, Thank you.
So let's talk, and this is avery sensitive topic.
There there are, I would say,venture to guess if your
congregation is of any kind ofsize, you know, 100 plus, etc.
You have someone in yourcommunity who is walking through
the LGBTQ story, the transstory, today.

(17:34):
This is very, very prevalenttoday and we must approach this
conversation with love and graceand care in the midst of
confusion.
So, grace and care in the midstof confusion, so talk to us.
Even data around the LGBTQ plusconversation today.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Let me share the stats, and this is why it's so
important for us to be educatedand to think about the space.
One in five Gen Z adults fromthe age of 18 to 26 identifies
LGBTQ plus, based on a Galluppoll from 2023.
One in 10 millennials from theage of 27 to 42, 5% of Gen X, 2%

(18:14):
of baby boomers and 1% ofsilent generation.
So when you listen to thosestats, what you are hearing and
seeing is that it is doublingeach generation, right, like
each kind of generation gap, andso that's incredible, and
actually, if the current trendscontinue, it's likely that the
proportion of LGBTQ plusidentifiers will exceed 10% of

(18:35):
all US adults in the next threedecades.
And so, as you said, it is verymuch something that each one of
us has maybe a friend, a familymember, somebody in our
community, somebody we work with, somebody we go to school with
that is identifying as LGBTQ,and so how we lean into that

(18:56):
discussion, how we love andfully know them and fully see
them and have theseopportunities for these
conversations is reallyimportant.
Have these opportunities forthese conversations is really
important, and what we're seeing, especially in the data, is
that bisexual adults make up thelargest population of LGBTQ,

(19:17):
especially in Gen Z, millennialand Gen X, and women are
actually twice as likely toactually identify as LGBTQ.
And so those are some of thoseinteresting facts that we're
seeing from this Gallup poll, asthey have kind of leaned in a
little bit to the research,especially in this area.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Sharisa, do you have any hypothesis, or do others
have hypothesis, why women aremore?
I have some thoughts, but whyare they more prone to be
identifying in that community?

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Well, so I'd love to hear your thoughts first.
What do?

Speaker 1 (19:47):
you think Okay, I think you asked me to get into
gender.
That's okay, I think women havea higher propensity toward
agreeableness.
And as the culture goes acertain way, and the well, okay.

(20:10):
Now, now I'm orienting mythoughts around my three
teenagers.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Same same.
I got five girls, so yeah, Iget it.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Right.
When puberty hits the brainchemically, especially for young
girls, the brain chemically,especially for young girls, body

(20:41):
change, everything is changingradically and the need to find
your people becomes all the moreintense.
But girls can be, I don say tofind a group of people that you
can identify with, who are maybeon the margins, who have arms
wide open to whatever yourchoice may be, and and there you
find your idea.
I'm kind of rambling a littlebit, but I think it has to do
with agreeable, agreeableness inyoung girls trying to find,

(21:03):
trying to find their way and andOK, well, I got to stop here
and young men and maybe a lossof chivalry, and then maybe it's
not a loss but a dampening ofchivalry and care and wanting to
.
Because I can think of when Iwas young in high school, a lot
of my best friends were youngladies, right, and we weren't

(21:25):
dating.
But I think even that gendergap has widened as more time for
young men is spent not maybe ona phone with a girl trying to
figure out how to connect withsomeone of the opposite sex.
But I'm with my buddies playingvideo games and I'm maybe not
in my.
My friend group may not includeboth boys and and young girls.

(21:49):
So, yeah, that's.
That's some general, generalthoughts.
What are, what are your morewell-documented youth leader
thoughts, charissa?
Why is it that girls are moreprone to toward this lifestyle
choice?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
So I think I think you hit on one there and correct
me.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
I could be like radically off.
I'm just a pastor, yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
So here's the thing.
Like, there's not a cookiecutter approach to it, right,
like not everybody just says.
This is why I will speak fromindividual conversations that
I've had.
So, as I've had thoseindividual conversations, here's
the things that rise to thesurface.
So hear me, this is not a stat.
These are just personalconversations, personal safety,

(22:34):
and that's terrifying.
For them to sit there and saythat they would rather identify
as being bisexual or lesbianbecause they feel safer with
other females and by identifyingin with that group, then that
means that they are quoteunquote, left alone by the other
gender.
As you said, they're goingthrough a really challenging
time growing, and again, we justtalked about all those stats

(22:55):
about pornography.
So if young men have treatedthem poorly or have spoken to
them in this time, this veryforming time of identity and
things like that that haveturned them off, then of course
they're going to go to thosethat they find that love and
care for them.
And here's the thing and thisis where it gets really tricky,

(23:21):
right, because remember how Isaid, they're putting off sexual
practice.
Many of them, even though theyidentify, have never actually
even practiced the sexual actthey identify because it's as
you said, it's maybe the groupthat has met them with open and
loving arms.
But the other thing that we'reseeing, especially around
sexuality and the way that thisgeneration is speaking about it,
is more about attachment andattraction.

(23:42):
Okay, so those are two verydifferent things to them.
It's not necessarily sexual ormorality, it is about attachment
and attraction, and so peopleare going to find attractive
qualities, potentially in bothgenders.
But what is attractive to males?
What's attractive to females,especially in this time where

(24:04):
it's so challenging, I think,especially as we see that rise
in females is, hey, I don't getcat called, I don't I feel maybe
safer, I feel seen, I feel thisopportunity to be with people,
and I watch girls online rightnow.
I think I talked about this,maybe even the last time we

(24:24):
talked, but I see girls beinglike incredibly, they can be
incredibly mean, as you said,but I also see a lot of them
being incredibly supportive andloving and kind and being like
hey, girl, you look great andthings like that, and so if
they're feeling more built upand loved by a different gender,
then they're going to probablylean into that and they will

(24:44):
gladly accept what that maybelooks like for them as they're
walking through that, becausethey they feel and have sense
that maybe this is where Ibelong and so, again, I think it
creates that as they're tryingto figure these things out.
All these other things arecoming out of messages,
pornography, the way in which wetalk about it, and I feel it's

(25:16):
incredibly sad because I feellike we have given this
generation this whole likesuitcase of things for them to
figure out, with no copingskills, no life experience, not
a lot of great mentors, andwe've said, hey, you need to
carry this and unpack it foryourself, and I think we've done
a bad job as adults doing thatto this generation, and if we

(25:39):
are not walking beside them andhaving these conversations, then
we're just adding to thatincredible load of them having
to pick through this luggage andsay what fits, what doesn't,
what fits what doesn't, becausewe're not walking with them in
it, and I think that that's it'sincredibly sad and it's why I
think so much it's important forus to speak into to these

(26:01):
various topics and especially tothat individual person.
Right, like again, it's not acookie cutter approach.
It is very individualistic inthe way that we speak about
these things.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
That's so good.
Would you speak to someonewho's like my son?
I have a sophomore son.
He's a football player, he's agreat kid, he's working it out,
you know, potentially wants togo into ministry.
We'll see where the Lord kindof leads him, but not in a, not
in a relationship.
It has no real desire, but hewants to grow Like.

(26:34):
How do you disciple your youngmen to grow in connecting with
loving, caring for andprotecting young, young girls,
princesses in the kingdom of God?
How do you, how do you kind ofhelp them?

Speaker 2 (26:45):
So we've got to talk, we've got to.
We've got to change ourlanguage too, right?
Like I think, when we weregrowing up, it was very much the
purity culture, sexual purity,true love, weights, we had the
rings, we had all the things.
Right, we need to change thelanguage from sexual purity,
which is more about behaviormodification and getting your
kid to the altar not having hadsex.
If that's your end goal, thenwe're already failing them.

(27:06):
Right, our goal needs to bemore about sexual integrity.
Right, going back to the gardenthat we look at our brothers and
sisters from a sexual integrityplace that says this is a
creation and an image bearer ofChrist, and I'm going to love
and honor this person that isstanding in front of me.
So that sexual integrity meansthat I have to grow in how not

(27:30):
only I show up in that space,but how I honor those around me.
And integrity is a veryimportant word, right, because
integrity is all about doing theright thing, even when no one
is watching.
So I'm going to double down onthat in this way.
Right, we talked about howthey're delaying sex, but I just
shared all those statistics ofhow much they are engaged in

(27:50):
pornography.
So is that sexual integrityLike.
So they're winning the goal ofprolonging sexual activity, but
they're engaging in sexualactivity right Because of the
fact that they are exposed.
They're seeking it out, and sowhen we talk about sexual
integrity, it's a much moreintegrated, it's much more
holistic in the way that weteach them to not only value

(28:12):
themselves but to value thosearound them and to stand up for
each other.
And again, going back to what wejust talked about, I think
people see other people standingup for them and that's
attractive, like it's attractiveto see somebody stand up for
you and say you're not going tospeak to them that way.
They're amazing, they'rebeautiful.
That's attractive to findsomebody that sees that in you

(28:33):
and is going to stand up for you.
So, when he's talking aboutwanting to grow in that, how do
I grow in?
How I show up in that space andhow I show up for others in
that space and I think it'sincredibly important in as we
talk about having the talk andall those different things,
because there's some there'ssome big myths around sexuality

(28:54):
and I think that's one of thoseones is like oh well, great,
they're not having sex, yeah,but we have a bigger epidemic
happening behind the scenes, asyou've already kind of pointed
out.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yeah, that's really helpful.
I'm away from sexual purity andtowards sexual integrity.
I want to be about that, and Imean Jesus.
We should talk about Jesus.
Jesus enters into a purity,pharisaical culture where it's
about the external doing.

(29:26):
I think of the woman caught inadultery.
Where's the man in that wholestory?
Right, but she's caught andJesus doesn't condemn, he raises
her up, he forgives her andinvites her to leave her life of
sin.
And then sin is always beforeus, because Jesus said in Sermon
on the Mount if you've lookedat a woman with lust in your

(29:47):
heart or a man with lust in yourheart, you've already committed
adultery.
And so, yeah, moving towardforgiveness and grace and the
holistic approach on sexualintegrity, rather than just get
to the altar without having hadsex, I 100% agree.
That's a discipleship.
That's a discipleship approachrather than a legalistic.
That's a Jesus-centered,gospel-centered, gospel,

(30:08):
pool-oriented approach ratherthan a legalistic approach.
Anything more to say, as youhear me kind of bring up a
couple of scripture storiesthere, sharisa.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
No, so one of my favorite scripture stories.
So let me, let me do a myth andthen I'll lead into a scripture
story here.
Right, let's go.
So one of the myths that Ithink people have around sex, or
maybe generationally right, isthat there are no.
There's no levels or basesRight Like when we were growing
up first base, second base,third base and so there was
always this conversation, orthat there were levels right,

(30:37):
like this idea.
In 1998, there was a very bigconversation, and hear me when I
say this is not political, okay, but Bill Clinton got on TV
right and said I did not havesexual relations with that woman
.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I did not have sexual relations.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Oh, get it Tim.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
That shaped me.
In high school I did not havesexual relations.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
It was a shaping time .
Right, it was a shaping timebecause what it did is it began
a nationwide discussion of whatcounted right, of what counted
in terms of sexual relationship.
And it's the same question thatyou and I have probably gotten
in ministry many times, which ishow far is too far?
What's the line?
Like what?
Like, what can I do?
What can I do?
And I always tell youth it'sthe wrong question, it is the

(31:26):
wrong question.
It's like the lawyer trying tojustify himself before God in
the good Samaritan story who ismy neighbor?
Right?
And we learned through thatstory that God says your
neighbor is anybody that I putin your path.
Right, Anybody that is in yourpath is your neighbor.
And that is so incrediblyimportant for us, even as we

(31:46):
have these kinds ofconversations that anybody that
God puts in your path is yourneighbor.
Act accordingly Right, loveaccordingly, treat with
integrity, treat with all thosethings, and I think it's that
same thing.
Sexuality is a gift from Godand he designs it and he creates
it and we need to treat it withthat level of integrity.
So there isn't levels, thereisn't bases, right, and in fact,

(32:08):
as we have leaned more into thesexuality conversation, those
things that we used to make asbases are the actual sexual acts
of different people, and sothis idea that that any of them
are unequal or more than or lessthan.
We got to throw that myth out,that that's a big myth that we
got to get rid of um in in themidst of that, and I think

(32:28):
that's an important one.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
And you had a Bible story.
Were you going to say a Biblestory?
The Good Samaritan, oh the GoodSamaritan, yeah the Good.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Samaritan, and I think sometimes especially when
it comes around sex.
We want to get legalistic aboutit, we want to justify ourselves
.
That's what the lawyer wastrying to do, like he knew
loving God and loving the peoplewas the law right.
But he was trying to justifyhimself.
He was trying to narrow theline.
Okay, well, jesus, yes, likestuff, he was trying to narrow
the line.

(32:55):
Okay, well, jesus, yes, likeyou say that.
But he knows, as a lawyer,there's no way he can do that.
Even in his profession he seesthat nobody is being able to
keep the law, no matter how muchthey try to.
So he's trying to narrow thefocus, and that's what I see a
lot of people do sometimes islike, well, if we just narrow
the focus, then we can justifyourselves, and I see this even
from people that areheterosexual.

(33:15):
Well, at least I don't do A, b,c and D.
Well, when did we startsplitting up sin and saying,
well, your sin is worse thanmine?
And this is where that sexualintegrity piece comes in,
because then again we all fallshort.
Right, we all fall short in themidst of that, and we see that
again directly from the gardenin that.

(33:35):
And so I think how we walk insexual integrity, how we view
our neighbor is incrediblyimportant in the midst of that.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Couldn't agree more, and sorry for not listening as
well as I should.
Gee whiz.
No, you're good I don't knowwhat I was thinking.
That's obviously a Bible story,tim, what's?
But I was thinking that'sobviously a Bible story, tim.
What's wrong with you?
Anyway, you're awesome.
Let's get into really thesecond half of this podcast.
Let's get into real practicalways that people can engage in
these discussions that soundlike Jesus, that point people to

(34:04):
Jesus, that lift up the nextgen, that lead with humility and
love and care and listeningwell, as I just didn't do as
well.
So, yeah, what are the top 10tips or things to remember as
you engage in this discussionCan?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I do a couple things before that.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
You can, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I want to say that the brain.
A lot of people think that thebrain is the least important
part of sex and it actuallywe're finding out is the most
important.
And so again, we're makingthese brain mind things.
And the other thing, just froma national perspective, I think
a lot of people assume sexeducation in schools that all
schools have an abstinence kindof only, or an absence education

(34:42):
portion in their school.
The sad reality is only 39states do.
But here's the thing I lovethat people are engaged in
health education and people aretalking about it in school, but
you need to be the person havingthat conversation first, and so
we cannot depend on even ourschools to have the same

(35:04):
narrative, and we see thatacross the board.
There's not a nationalcurriculum that everybody agrees
on.
So no matter where you are inthe nation, you probably know
that and of those 39 states,only 29 make it the number one
thing that they kind of put themost like hey, here's the number
one way to evolve to kind ofavoid sexual transmitted
infections, std like.

(35:26):
So only 29 states out of 50.
And so that's also what you arebattling in terms of having
really good conversations aboutit.
So I'll get into those 10 tipsnow, right?
So you kind of already said it.
We got to start with God, right.
We got to start with God thathe loves them, that it's a
foundational that he's made youthat baptismal identity, because

(35:47):
we know that our response, thatour individual response to
follow God's love is out of thelove that he has first shown us.
And so if we want people towalk in integrity and to follow
and chase after Jesus, we got tostart there, right.
We've got to make sure thatthey know that they're fully
known and fully loved by God,and that's a big one.
Number two is that sexualintegrity versus sexual purity,

(36:10):
and purity is not a bad thing.
I don't want to say that that'sa bad thing, but I just I think
integrity is a much better wordwhen we're talking about the
holistic nature of our mind,body and spirit as we engage in
conversations and even theexperience of sexual relations
and whether we're, whether it'spornography or or we're engaging
in it as people, and I thinkthat's really really important.

(36:32):
Number three embrace theawkwardness, and I think that's
really really important.
Number three embrace theawkwardness, and I think this is
the hardest piece for somepeople is to embrace the
awkwardness of the conversation.
I have to say my mom did anincredible job.
Shout out to my mom.
She did a great job, not onlyon that very first conversation,
but opening the door for us tohave other conversations.

(36:52):
But this is what I'm going toask you, as parents and leaders,
to do to prepare yourself toembrace the awkward right,
because you know the questionsare going to come.
But here's some things for youto already have processed before
they come.
One what did I get right in myown sexual development
questioning?
I did it.
However you want to say it.

(37:13):
Preferences like again, thelanguage is varied out there,
right?
So what did you get right?
What did you get wrong?
That's a tough one, right?
Like we've got to say like, hey, here's maybe some ways that I
got burned on that situation,right?
Number three what was missing?
What did I not know that Ifound out later and would have

(37:34):
been really helpful for me toknow sooner in that.
And then, what was confused?
Right?
Like so much at this time, kidsstart going to their peers or
online and we know that can be avery confusing place.
And I don't know about you, tim, but there were things that I
heard about sex when I was injunior high and middle school
and high school that I was likethat is not true.
Like as I got older, right, itwas a confusing message or it

(37:57):
was just completely inaccurate.
And so many of our kids, ifthey don't get the answers from
us, they're going to go to peersand online, and we already just
talked about how dangerous thatis to go searching out maybe
some of those answers online.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Number four is this searching out maybe some of
those answers online.
Number four is this thosequestions like if you are
listening and you're not takingnotes.
This is a note, this is notetime.
Teresa just took us to school.
You just schooled us what I gotright and what I got wrong,
what's missing and what wasconfusing or what is confusing
for your child today.

(38:32):
Such great questions to open upJesus-centered conversations.
I'm listening, Note taken.
All right, Sharisa, keep going.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Point number four yeah, number four is really
critical that no topic is offlimits.
And again, I understand whatI'm asking you to do.
Believe me, I've been there.
Right, the idea that no topicis off limits, that as they come
to you with their questions,you need to be affirming, caring
, confident, outwardly, inwardly, praying for the spirit to

(39:01):
guide your words and things likethat, or just to come from a
place of I'm just listening.
I don't need the answers, justtell me what's going on, right,
because if you start to make atopic off limits, then they will
stop coming to you and and youneed to be the person that they
most feel comfortable coming to,because you love them, you
created them, especially likeyour young people, in your own

(39:25):
home, and so if they can't cometo you, then they are going to
go somewhere else and and youdon't get to control that at
that point.
So you have to be willing tocreate those safe spaces that
say no topic is off limits.
Now I will just say, tim, youwere talking about your son.
I have five daughters.
The most awkward conversationsare always in the car, leaving

(39:47):
church from youth and all of asudden one of my kids will hit
me with one.
I'm like, wow, okay, I can't goanywhere, I'm driving, it's
time to have a conversation,right.
But creating this space forthose conversations to happen
and even just saying, hey, maybeI don't understand that, like,
let's go figure that outtogether, I think that's a
really big, important one.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
I'm laughing because I'm like my mind goes to a
potential car conversation, likeif my son were to say I don't
think this would ever happen andI don't know if he's ever going
to listen to this podcast.
But, kai, if you ever came tome and said, you know, dad, tell
me about the link betweenpornography and erectile

(40:25):
dysfunction, that would get myattention.
Let's talk about it.
So, sud, if you're listening,I'd love to have that
conversation and connected tothe brain and connected to the
brain for real.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
So yeah, and I could go down a whole other tangent on
that research, Tim, you know melike I'm like there is so much
there.
In fact, I'm going to give youa book here in a minute that
will definitely, like definitely, people are going to want to
read and lean into on that one.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Well, this, is something that's so obvious.
Everybody watches TV and we seecommercials like those
commercials were not around.
A generation or two ago, thatdidn't exist.
So yeah, you're going to around, around ED, around erectile
dysfunction, et cetera.
So keep, keep going.
We'll get to the resources here.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Point number five so number five is cultivate a
passion for both truth and graceright.
This means that as we studyGod's word, we want to learn to
love what it reveals right.
We want to learn what Godreveals in his holy word and
also understand that sometimesGod shares things in scripture

(41:26):
that he doesn't necessarilycondone, but he's just sharing
the reality of what washappening at the time.
But being committed tofollowing God and chasing after
grace and forgiveness means thatthat's going to call us to show
up in those places where we areloving our neighbor and
everybody that comes across ourpath.
But we're also going tounderstand God's bigger story
about how he's designed us andwhat he wants for his creation.
And so when we learn tocultivate that as a family that

(41:50):
walks with God, it's going tohelp in some of those kind of
conversations.
As you lean into those Numbersix, you've got to have
discussions about shame andforgiveness, and I say this
because at some point in time weshare that big statistic right
about pornography.
They're in all likelihood youwere going to find out, either

(42:11):
because they're going to cometell you, or you're going to
find out because maybe you havean app or or something following
them on their phone or you'rejust going to walk in that you
might find your young personviewing pornography or engaging
in some sort of sexual behaviorthat you're like, wait a minute,
like what, what's going on here?
And so we have to lean intothose conversations about shame

(42:32):
and grace.
But here's the other reason thatI think is really critical.
It is a very sad statistic thatone in five of our young people
have been sexually assaulted,one in five in some form or
fashion.
Right, and how people decidelike we don't get to decide what
trauma is for somebodySomebody's body does Right.

(42:53):
And so, whether it's somethingthat's been said, something
that's been done, we have seen ageneration feel like, in some
ways, that even their own firstexperiences have been stolen
from them.
Own first experiences have beenstolen from them.
And so as we talk and lean intoconversations about sexuality,
we have to know that statisticand know that for some people

(43:14):
they might not have wanted thatto come when it came.
And so how we phrase things,how we talk about things, is
really important.
And leaning into that placeswhere they feel broken,
incredibly broken, and somebodyhas done something, and so, and
what we learn from that is theycarry a lot of shame from that

(43:37):
If I wouldn't have worn thatclothing, right?
If, for some of our youngladies, if I didn't develop
sooner than my peers did, right,all these different nuanced
things, and I'm not just talkingfemales.
There's a lot of male sexualabuse too.
It's actually one of the risingthings, as you said about

(43:59):
sexual exploitation.
It's, it's so.
It's so incredibly sad, thestatistics that we're seeing
around this.
But shame and forgiveness needto be there, right, because,
again, as you said, satan wantsto kill, steal and destroy and
he wants us to feel less thanand that God couldn't love us
and that God couldn't restorethis in us, and we need to
combat that message very clearly.

(44:21):
In regard to this, number sevenis one we haven't really talked
about but needs to be talkedabout is that we need to talk
about singleness as much as wetalk about marriage, because we
can tend to sometimes idealizemarriage and sexuality and
having families, right.
But what we learned fromscripture, as we said, is that
both marriage and singleness area calling and, as we are seeing

(44:44):
that more and more people likethe national average of being
married is now 27, gettingcloser to 30.
That tells you that more than athird of someone's life is
spent in singleness.
So if we're not speaking intothis beautiful calling of being
single and what God calls for usin those places whether up to
marriage or through our lifetime, especially in that sexual

(45:07):
integrity conversation If we'renot having that holistic
conversation and lifting upsingleness, then again we are
also failing people, because noteverybody is called to marriage
, and I think we need to talkabout it in those terms too, not
like when you get married, butlike if God calls you to
marriage.
Right, like we even need tochange our language about that,
sometimes in the church as well,because we have so many people

(45:30):
in our congregation that aresitting in this gap of like well
, does this conversation evenmatter to me because of this?
And it absolutely does.
Right, it absolutely does.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Hey, let's pause on that just real quick.
I think the church is trying tofigure out how to reach that
population right now more thanever and I don't know that we're
running enough tests, I don'tknow that we're setting up
enough space we're like activelyas a congregation trying to
engage that young adult, married, early married, but also single

(46:04):
community, and what are theirprimary felt needs and they're a
part of, they want to be a partof a multigenerational
expression.
I'm pretty sure of that.
But they also have uniquechallenges in that time.
College to just the adultingseason is just taking a lot
longer right now, is just takinga lot longer right now.

(46:27):
And so, yeah, I have a lot ofkind of thinking collectively
for the church in the US andreally in the West, as these
stats are growing.
Like this is kind of a newthing for us.
Charissa, you know, like we usedto a generation ago, my grandma
got married at 16.
My grandpa was 19.
Now I'm not saying you shouldget married at 16, but like that

(46:48):
was not like crazy strange youknow, and the average age of
marriage.
I got married at 22.
And so that gap, that elongatedgap between getting the growing
up season, it's widened now andwe're trying and I guess my
plea would just be besympathetic to, to speaking in a

(47:10):
sensitive way to that group asyou're talking about, and also
run tests to develop communityboth for that generation and
then across that generation,that they would not be isolated,
they would see the church withopen arms for them in that
elongated period of singleness.
So anything more there, sharisa.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Yeah, I mean, I have two older daughters too, so it
is such a challenge, because theother piece is also sometimes
about their identity, is likewhy haven't I gotten married,
like why haven't I found myperson?
And so that is also incrediblychallenging to them as well,
because again is like is anybodyever going to love me?
And so sometimes we can chaseafter attachments Remember how I

(47:50):
said attachment and attractionwe can chase after some
attachments that we actuallywouldn't.
That would not be healthy forus, and so we have to lean into
that space with them and be likehey, you know God, do you trust
that God has your best in mind?
And if, again, if you'rechasing after God and you're
like I trust that he has my bestin mind, then you remember this
that rejection is God'sprotection and redirection, and

(48:12):
it just might not be your time.
It just might not be your time,and that's okay, and maybe God
is calling you to a life ofsingleness.
So how do we also love andsupport people in those places?
And I think that's just reallyincredible.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
You're an awesome communicator.
I love listening to you talk.
You're so well read I don'tknow the words that just rolled
off your tongue.
You know about rejection.
That was like wow.
I've never heard life any, anyphrase like that was just next
level.
So I'm glad God made you theway he did and your your
curiosity for life.
It's.
It's so compelling.
All right, final three.
I'm taking notes.

(48:47):
Here we go.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
All right, here we go .
Who beats what right?
Who beats what right?
The fact that you matter, thewho matters right, like we know,
like as kids get older, theircircles change, they start to
care about.
You know, parents always wantthe detail, like for the retreat
, like where are we going?
What's the cost?
All those things they, theteens, want to know who's going.
Who begins to really matter atthis age and stage and the idea

(49:10):
that you as parents stillincredibly matter.
And so, again, conversation,not presentation.
The who matters in the midst ofthat Right.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Amen, and I think in because I have three high
schoolers right now.
I'm working past thepresumption that parenting,
especially around this topic,concludes upon graduation from
high school.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
You're in a slightly different season.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
I'm anticipating, like another decade or so of
parenting, especially aroundsexual integrity rather than
kind of there once they go tocollege.
This is kind of done.
Am I right in thinking that?

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Absolutely.
Absolutely, because I mean Isent one through college and the
conversations that I had werevastly different than I had when
they were in high school andvastly different than the
conversations I'm having with mymiddle schooler.
And so, yes, it is an ongoingconversation and, honestly,
going back to scripture, ironsharpens iron, right.
We're going to get better as wehave these conversations in the

(50:13):
midst of it and really whatwe're doing is letting somebody
we're engaging in intimacy, likeinto me.
I see right, like we know thatacronym, like that idea that as
we engage in intimacy and wegrow in those places, that we
get better for it.
Number nine is a tool that Iuse in youth ministry that I

(50:34):
think is highly effective.
I call it the funnel approach,right, and we see that God does
this in scripture too.
So, first of all, when you wantto start to maybe ask your kids
some questions, let them be theexpert, like on their school
and community.
Like, hey, how many teens doyou think, or what is their
feeling about this subject orthat?
Right, let the teen be theexpert on their school.

(50:55):
That's a really cool thing.
They get to kind of tell youwhat they're seeing and hearing,
then funnel it down, then thenext place you're going to go is
well, what are your closestfriends?
Or you know, you can even namepeople or like well, what is
your inner circle?
Kind of think about it, right.
So you're funneling down tothink about it, right, so you're
funneling down.
And here's why that question isreally important, because those
are the people that your kidsare spending the most time with,

(51:17):
and what we know is that thefive closest people to somebody
have the most influence, right.
And so if they are saying, well, this person, this person, this
person, that's going to giveyou a good indication of what
they're listening to and whatthey are being motivated or
challenged by, and those can begreat things or those can be not
great things.
I always tell my confirmands,like, you better have some

(51:37):
Christians in that circle, right, and if you don't like, we need
to maybe have a conversationabout that.
So we kind of talk about thosefive.
And then it's the question ofwell, what do you think about
that?
And we see Jesus doing this,right, this model, when he's
with the disciples and he askeda really important question who
do you say, I am Right.
But before he gets to thatquestion, and Peter answers well

(51:59):
, you are the Christ, right,like you know, you're the Lord.
He asked him.
What do you see people saying?
Like he even models this inscripture that first of all, he
lets them have the conversation.
Well, you're Elijah reborn,you're Moses, you're this,
you're that?
Okay, great, but who do you sayI am.
And so, as you do that funneldiscussion, you're allowing them

(52:20):
to slowly start gettingprepared.
And it doesn't make it awkward,it's not just like hey, tim,
what do you think about this?
Like I've allowed you to slowlykind of funnel that down.
It's a really great thing touse.
It's a tool that's reallyhelpful in youth ministry and
just in conversation with people.
And the last point is this speakearly, and often I think
parents so many times areworried about being too early in

(52:43):
terms of having conversationsabout sex, but it's actually
worse to be too late on thistopic, right?
And so you don't want to be toolate, and so you.
And again it goes back to thatone talk is not enough.
You want to create space foryour youth to come.
Now I'm not sitting theresaying that every single night
at dinner we're having aconversation.
I don't want to oversaturate orcreate it to be such a part of

(53:07):
the lexicon of your home, rightLike.
But you want to have theseconversations that allow them to
just continue to come to you inthose spaces and to continue
building your own relationshipwith your, with your, with your
kiddos, your teens, the peoplethat you serve in your
congregations, and so hopefullythat's helpful.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
Charissa, oh my gosh, thank you for spending the time
to put together that list.
Start with God.
He's at the center of it all.
Point number two sexualintegrity rather than sexual
purity.
Embrace the awkward, all thequestions, what I got right
wrong, missing, confused.
No topic is off limits as wehave these conversations,
cultivate a passion for truthand grace.

(53:51):
Embrace that there's going tobe shame, that's connected to it
, but we we bask in theforgiveness of Jesus.
Point number seven we've got tohave empathy and care, sympathy
for a longer period ofsingleness today and being
married, who beats what?
Point number eight the funnelapproach.
Such a good communicationhandle.

(54:11):
And then let's start.
Let's start early.
Let's have this conversationearly, and often early and often
so.
Some resources if people wantto go deeper into this topic
best research literature thatyou would have us go deeper in.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
So the ones that I personally even use in my own
home.
Cph has a great series on howto talk to kids at different
ages and stages and I alwaysthink it's a great thing.
Like when my kid was startingto be a reader, I was like, hey,
read this and then let's talk.
Right, so then they could goread it by themselves and not
feel awkward or I'm reading itwith them or over their shoulder
, and it gave them some reallyopportunities to kind of look

(54:46):
and think and have someconversations.
There's some good ones.
Like I said, I'm going to sendyou guys this.
But the Fight the New Drug it'snot a Christian organization,
but man are they doing someserious work in terms of
fighting pornography?
They got some great stats, somewonderful stuff there
Non-Lutheran, so I'm going topreface this but Preston
Sprinkle is doing someincredible work with the Center

(55:08):
for Faith andChristianSexualitycom.
We did his curriculum.
It's a 12-week curriculum andthere issexualitycom.
We did his curriculum.
It's a 12-week curriculum andthere is videos for parents,
there's videos for students,there's videos for pastors and
even the whole first section isall about establishing the
foundation of who they are inGod and it's really well done
and there's even someconversations about leading into

(55:30):
those different topics and evenif you don't decide to use the
curriculum at your church orthings like that, it is an
incredible resource for you tojust grow in your own personal
knowledge and whatever spacesyou're leading in, whether it's
your vocation of ministry oryour vocation in your family.
He's done some really good workthere.

(55:52):
There's a book called Closingthe Window, ie the window like
pornography.
That's a really great book.
And, as I said, that brainscience research.
One that I really, really lovedis a book called Hooked.
It's called the brain science ofhow casual sex affects human
development, and when you readthat book it's going to just
make your mind go and understand, like why we, even even

(56:17):
heterosexual couples, struggle,sometimes even with their
partner because of things thatmaybe happened in the past
movies they've watched, thingsthat they that came to them,
that they maybe didn't want tocome to them in terms of things
and how those things kind of gethooked in and that brain body
connection is so critical.
And so just a really goodresearch book on those pieces as

(56:40):
well.
And finally get in the Bibleright, like best research you
can do is to get in God's holyword and to just see where he
meets you in those places,because what you're going to
continue to learn is that Godkeeps it pretty simple Love him,
love others, and let's getabout doing that in in how we
love and see people and and careabout their integrity um as

(57:03):
much as as we want to care umand have ours cared for as well.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
So I've done hundreds of podcasts and this is one of
my top.
I don't know, it's just beenamazing and thank you for the
work you put in.
I rarely recommend to my wifehey, honey, you should listen to
my podcast.
But this one, honey, if youlisten to it, it's not a lot of
me so that you hear me all thetime you get to hear Charissa

(57:27):
today but so practical, sohelpful.
If people want to connect withyou, how can they do so?

Speaker 2 (57:32):
So exciting news, right, tim?
So last time we talked you werelike how do we connect with you
?
And I was like I'm not thatimportant.
But what's exciting is you alsochallenged me to go write the
book.
Right, we talked about writingthe book and it's exciting.
So, I wrote a book, and so notonly does the book have a

(57:52):
website, but you can find me atTeresaKuntzcom, but I hope your
listeners will also go check out.
As you know, if you've listenedto me the last two times, I'm a
very curious individual thatloves to ask a lot of questions.
So I wrote this book called the17 Questions of God and the
Impact on your Life Today, andit's actually going to be a
whole entire journaling series.
But you got to start with Godand meeting Him in Scripture and

(58:20):
seeing some of the questionsthat he asked in both Old and
New Testament times, but they'rethe same questions that he's
asking of you and me today, andso it's available on Amazon.
I hope people will go check itout.
But, yeah, reach out to me.
If you go to my website, youcan find out how to connect with
me.
If you want me to come speak atyour church, you want me to be
on a podcast, if you just wantto send me an email and say, hey

(58:41):
, I have a really big question,or can you send me that resource
?
I love connecting with peopleand helping people out, so great
ways that you can do that.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
I just realized I got to send the recommendation for
the book and I'm going to be.
I'm going to be sending thatsoon.
I'm reading it.
I just started it.
So good, we got to have youback.
I'm late to a meeting right nowand, uh, would you send me an
email and let's get the thirdpodcast set up to talk about
those 17 questions?
That would be amazing.
Amazing.
It's a good day.
Go and make it a great day.
We'll have another awesomeguest next week.

(59:10):
I don't know if they're goingto top Charissa, because it's
been pretty legit Next week onAmerican Reformation podcast.
Please share, subscribe.
You can find us UniteLeadership Collective on YouTube
and that helps get the word out.
Hopefully we're havingJesus-centered, hope-filled,
joy-filled, challengingconversations like this one
today.
I know I'm better for it.
I know, listener, you are aswell.
We'll see you next week onAmerican Reformation.

(59:31):
Thanks, Teresa.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Thank you guys.