October 18, 2023 • 32 mins
Dr. Brooke Rudis and Meredith Sargol from Chesapeake Public Schools, step into the spotlight to shed light on the pervasive issue of bullying in our schools. With personal stories and professional experiences, they guide us through the murky definitions and impacts of bullying, pulling from their unique perspectives to provide us with an in-depth understanding of the power imbalances that lie at the heart of this issue.
Dr. Rudis and Mrs. Sargol also share how Chesapeake Public Schools takes a stand against bullying and inform us of the various policies and strategies to combat bullying and ways to offer support.
Our conversation doesn't end there. With a special feature by Undersheriff Dave Rosado, we learn about his innovative approach to prevent bullying - "Be a Hero, Not a Zero!" We'll explore his magical blend of tricks and conversation, all designed to encourage kindness and positivity among students. Dave also emphasizes the vital importance of resources and the need for students to report any incidents to a trusted adult within the school. Join us on this journey towards creating a safer and more empathetic environment for our students.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt (00:00):
Welcome to Amplified the Chesapeake Public Schools
podcast.
Richie (00:13):
Chesapeake Schools is located in the Hampton Roads
area of southeastern Virginia.
We serve 40,000 students in 45schools and three centers.
This podcast is designed totell the stories behind our
story and to introduce andcelebrate the people and
programs that make us one of thepremier school districts in
Virginia.
And welcome to our thirdepisode here of Amplified the
(00:37):
Chesapeake Public Schoolspodcast.
I'm Richie Bab and I'm herewith Matt Graham.
Yep, and can you believe, Matt?
I mean, it's almost November.
Matt (00:46):
I know.
Richie (00:47):
I mean it's crazy right.
Matt (00:48):
The temperature is great, though.
Brooke (00:49):
I love this.
I love the fall in Chesapeake.
Is that your season?
Matt (00:52):
That's your season, fall is my season, man, I'm not into
the pumpkin spice thing thateverybody's in, but like just
the air is crisp.
Richie (00:59):
You know, I'm surprised by that.
Actually I'm surprised.
Matt (01:02):
No, I love the fall.
I think it's the best timearound here.
Richie (01:05):
You know it is great, I love summer.
But the only consolation for methat summer is over is college
football Roll tie.
Matt (01:14):
Nice blur Thanks.
Richie (01:16):
Yeah, thanks.
So on top of all that, though,october is National Bullying
Prevention Month.
We had an opportunity to talkto a few people, both in the
school system and actually theSheriff's Department, about
bullying.
Well, as you may know, it isNational Bullying Prevention
Month, and to help us get intothis a little bit, to understand
(01:37):
what bullying is and whatparents and families can do
about it, we have our AssistantDirector of Student Conduct and
Support, dr Brooke Rudis, ishere, and Meredith Sargal, our
Student Engagement Counselor,both from Chesapeake Public
Schools are here.
And let's start with you,brooke.
Let us get to know you a littlebit how long you've been in the
school system.
Where'd you come from?
Brooke (01:56):
Well, thanks for having us, Richie.
First of all, I appreciate you.
I've been with ChesapeakePublic Schools for 22 years now
and an education for 25.
Okay, so I started myeducational career after I
graduated from Old Dominion.
I graduated with a degree inrecreational therapy.
Really didn't know what to dowith that and I started working
actually at a residentialtreatment facility and started
(02:19):
working with kids there andrealized that the need that kids
had.
One of the students I wasworking with there didn't even
know how to read.
He was 11 years old, so it kindof tore up my heart strings and
he was going through a lot inhis life and I went on to get my
master's degree in specialeducation and I worked at
Southeastern CooperativeEducation Program for three
years with students withemotional disabilities and after
working there, I continued myadministrative degrees through
(02:42):
George Washington University andstarted working at Chesapeake
Public Schools and I startedhere as a teacher for emotional
disabilities at ChittamElementary and I was there for a
few years and I taughtemotional disabilities at
Hickory High School for a fewyears and then I went into
administration and I wasassistant principal at Deep
Creek Middle for four years andat Hickory Middle for four years
and then I became thesupervisor of the Office of
(03:05):
Pupil Discipline and we grew andour name changed to the Office
of Student Conduct and Supportand I was promoted to the
assistant director.
And here we are.
So my passion has always beenworking with students who have
challenges with their behaviorsand I'm grateful for this role
to be able to help more kids.
Richie (03:21):
Now, meredith, you're relatively new to the school
system, right?
Meredith (03:23):
Yes, yes, I actually, I started in July.
Richie (03:27):
Oh really.
Meredith (03:28):
Yeah, I am originally from Ohio and had gotten my
master's in counseling, so withschool and mental health
specialties and I decided to gointo the school because that's
kind of what felt like home tome.
But I actually had moved out toArizona and I was working in
Arizona for the past 12 years.
I primarily worked with middleschool sixth, seventh and eighth
(03:50):
for the majority of the timeand saw a lot, a lot of drama, a
lot of bullying that happensthere.
That's definitely kind of helpswith my passion to help prevent
bullying.
But I decided my husband and Idecided we wanted to be on this
side of the Mississippi.
So, we decided our kids areyoung.
So I have two young kids and wedecided that we were going to
(04:14):
pick up and move.
Richie (04:16):
So you threw darts at a map.
No, it was a little bit morestrategic than that.
Meredith (04:22):
I did want to a state where I felt like education was
really valued, and to come to acity where the schools were
hyper-performing and reallywanted to have that for my
family is selfishly, for me aswell.
So, I had applied to be aschool counselor because that's
what I've been.
I've been a school counselor forthe last 12 years and just
(04:44):
applied to be a studentengagement resource counselor.
So I'm not thinking like, oh,that'd be great to be able to
make more of an impact and workwith more schools and work with
more students.
And what do you know?
Here I am.
Richie (04:55):
Here you are.
Brooke (04:58):
We interviewed her and snatched her right up.
You are a bullying queen.
Put you right in charge of that.
Meredith (05:04):
Bullying MTSS, give me all the stuff.
Matt (05:07):
So we've all experienced bullying.
I know I was bullied,especially elementary metal
where your kind of focus is.
Do you all mind sharing a timewhere you might have been
bullied and how you kind ofdealt with it?
Meredith (05:20):
Well, I know I can speak for myself.
I experienced bullying inprimarily in seventh and eighth
grade, so I was my junior highyears and it was pretty severe,
I think, especially consideringthinking about the definition
and going into what bullying is.
It was a lot of threats, a lotof tears, a lot of kids saying
(05:40):
that they were going to Beat meup if I went to the bathroom by
myself.
Notes in my locker saying thatthey wished I was dead.
Nice Petitions.
I had petitions from you know20, 30 students would sign it
saying how much they hated me.
Brooke (05:58):
That's crazy.
Meredith (06:01):
I had, I remember, one experience waiting for my mom
to pick me up aftercross-country practice and a
fellow student came out and itwas the group of students that
were primarily targeting me andshe spit on me.
And I found out later I didn'tknow it at the time.
I would go home and I wouldjust cry and cry and say how
much I hated school.
Matt (06:20):
I didn't wanna go to school my grades were dropping
and everything.
Meredith (06:23):
And so my parents I didn't know it, but at the time
they went in and they talked tothe school to try and get it to
stop.
And my mom told me later thatshe said that she kind of was
giving the brush off, that therewasn't much they could do
because they didn't have anyevidence.
They didn't really have anyproof.
There wasn't really much theycould do and I mean eventually
it stopped.
I mean I learned very young, Iguess at that point, that who I
(06:47):
could and couldn't trust and Idid.
I had one friend.
She was going through a verysimilar experience and we kind
of supported each other.
Brooke (06:54):
Those are kind of the experiences we draw off, because
that is a challenge for ouradministrators.
What do you do when there's notevidence?
How do you support?
a student who is being bulliedand you can't prove it Her word
against another child's word.
And then what do we do toempower kids so that they feel
like they can counteract some ofthe bullying that's going on,
(07:15):
because we know what happens?
Like you said, we've all beenbullied.
We've all been those situationsand we reflect back on a
situation like Meredith istalking about and how can we
train our administrators betterto intervene?
What tools can we give ourcounselors to intervene?
And so we definitely rely onour own personal experiences as
to how we can better serve ourstudents so that they don't go
through what Meredith has andgoing home and crying and
(07:39):
parents going up to school andtalking to administrators and
feeling that they weren'tsupported.
It's a tough position butcertainly that we need to take
it all seriously, which is whywe're so glad Meredith's on our
team to bring that experiencethat she's had not only herself
as being bullied, but also allthe wonderful experiences she's
had helping kids through that.
Meredith (07:58):
And I will say too, getting through that was, I
think obviously I had a goodfriend, but my parents were so
supportive and I guess I can sayI was lucky in the sense that
it was during the generationwhere we didn't have internet at
home.
Brooke (08:16):
I could go home and get away from it, and kids these
days don't have that luxuryanymore.
Meredith (08:21):
It can be constant and chronic, and so I was lucky in
the sense that I was able to gohome and I had family and I had
a brother and a sister who wereolder than me that tried to help
me through it, and I definitelywent through a very, very
serious period of depression buteventually the bullying stopped
(08:42):
and I learned a lot of thingsabout how bullying can impact a
person, and that has definitelyinfluenced how I talk to
students, especially those kidsgoing through those fifth, sixth
, seventh and eighth grade years, where that's when bullying is
at its peak.
Richie (08:59):
So that's definitely why they, you know so fortunately I
mean more so than then bullyingis.
There's a lot more awareness ofbullying right In the schools
than it was then.
But bullying takes a lot ofdifferent forms, including on
social media, on cyber bullying.
What's the difference, though?
If you guys could enlighten meof the difference between
(09:21):
bullying and just somebody beingmean every now and a while.
Brooke (09:23):
There's a big difference between bullying and teasing.
There's a big differencebetween being mean and bullying.
Meredith (09:30):
When we talk about bullying, specifically about
bullying and its impact onmental health I know a lot of
people are concerned about.
Well, if my child's beingbullied, you know my child could
become depressed, they couldcommit suicide.
Well, when we're talking aboutbullying, there's a really
specific definition that wewanna refer to.
There are three main parts forsomething to be considered
bullying.
One is that there's an act ofaggression.
(09:51):
Now, that act of aggression canbe verbal, but it can be
physical.
So we you know the name calling, the taunts, the threatening.
It can be physical tripping,pushing, even somebody who's
like constantly stealing theirthings or messing with their
things you know, somebody who'sgetting their stuff knocked out
of their hands.
you know, we see those kind ofclassic images, but it can also
(10:11):
be that emotional piece beingexcluded.
Everybody's invited to thisparty except for that person.
You know that social exclusion,especially at those, you know,
middle school ages, is soimpactful.
So actual acts of bodily harm,demeaning commentary, all those
can be seen as aggression.
And so that's the first part.
There's an act of aggression.
The second part is that itoccurs over a period of time and
(10:34):
we're not talking about justsomething that happens.
Well, it happened three timesin one day.
That's bullying.
No, we're talking aboutsomething that occurs over a
period of weeks, sometimesmonths, and we don't wanna let
that behavior get to that point.
But when we're talking aboutbullying, bullying can be very
subtle too.
And so sometimes it goes missedor dismissed.
So it's something that isoccurring over a length of time.
(10:57):
And the last piece is thatthere's an imbalance of power,
so you have maybe multiplestudents picking on one student,
so there's an actual numbersgame happening.
But it can also be social power, somebody who maybe has more
friends.
They're seen as being betteroff in terms of socioeconomic
(11:19):
status.
They have more money, they havemore friends.
They might even be somebody whoeverybody knows is a bully.
They have fear.
There's power there and so andthey need be the people who are
picking on somebody with lesspower.
It could be somebody who'ssmaller, younger, maybe new to
school and, honestly, especiallystudents with disabilities are
(11:40):
a prime example of somebody whomight have just less power, less
social power, and I'm not justtalking about physical
disabilities, so that'scertainly you know a category
I'm not talking about studentswith maybe learning disabilities
, kids with ADHD, kids who areon the spectrum, who may come
across as more socially awkwardand don't interact in the same
(12:01):
way as other students.
So those three pieces, okay,have to all be there for us to
consider that bullying.
Now, if something happens onceand it's unintentional, we might
call that rude.
If something happens once andit's like deliberate, that's
being mean right.
If kids are mutually jokingaround, everybody's having fun,
(12:21):
that's teasing right.
Teasing is everybody's havingfun, nobody's getting hurt.
And then the other one thatbullying frequently gets
conflated with is conflictConflict.
You have groups of equal poweror two people of equal power.
Now there may be ongoing backand forth, but that power
differential isn't there andfrequently there's a solution.
(12:42):
Like you can mediate conflict,you cannot mediate bullying.
So really those are.
it's kind of a complexdefinition You're looking at a
lot of moving parts, and that'swhy it's so important that we do
the investigations, that we doto make sure that when we say,
hey, this is bullying or thisisn't bullying, we need to make
sure that we've really looked atall the pieces.
Matt (13:03):
Right.
So when you're doing theinvestigations, what sort of
takes place with that?
Brooke (13:08):
Certainly we actually have a procedure to investigate
bullying.
The first thing administratorshave to do is determine is it
actually bullying, as Meredithwas talking about?
And if it's determined to bebullying and fitting under that
definition, then administratorsdo a very thorough investigation
.
They'll talk to the studentsand find out what's going on.
It might be in conjunction witha school counselor so that
(13:30):
there's a safety feel foreveryone involved.
It may not be but identifyingwhat the behaviors are of
concern and then there is anotification process.
So recently we just passedHouse Bill 1592 talking about
we're required to investigatebullying and now we're required
to report bullying of anystudent who may be involved in
(13:50):
that, whether it's the victim orperpetrator.
Any parent of a student who hasallegedly been involved with
bullying has to be notifiedwithin 24 hours and that's
actually a bill that we have tofollow.
So some parents may get callsabout an allegation that
administrator hasn't thoroughlyinvestigated yet, because we
have to follow the law.
But then we have five days to doto investigate that allegation
(14:11):
and that involves interviewingkids, finding out what's going
on.
We want our administrators toseparate the students so we can
get statements from themconfidentially and they can
share information.
We like to get writtenstatements Sometimes we don't,
Sometimes it's verbal,especially depending on the
student's age and then talk tothe teachers, see if there's a
witness.
And those are some things.
When Meredith was talking aboutadministrators, you know
(14:33):
brushed it off, didn't have theevidence.
That's something we also talkedto the kids about.
You know, if you think you'rebeing bullied, look around you.
Who was around that might be awitness.
You know who heard this thatadministrator can go talk to,
because we want to stop it.
We don't want kids to be goingto school bullied and we want
kids to come to school and feelsafe.
So then they do theinvestigation and they weigh the
totality of the evidence andthey make a finding from that
(14:56):
and then parents are informed ofthe outcome of that
investigation.
We have a whole form andprocedures in place that our
administrators follow, that weshare with them and we train
them on it.
There was actually a modulethat each administrator in our
district, each schooladministrator had to complete
with accompanying questions atthe end so that we made sure our
administrators were aware ofthe new law and aware of the
investigation, and we took themthrough step by step, the form
(15:19):
that must be completed anytimethat they feel like bullying has
taken place, Anytime they'vedetermined that bullying was
taking place.
Richie (15:25):
Yeah, so obviously something like bullying that the
general assembly gets involvedin and there's a what sounds
like a legal definition ofbullying.
It sounds like then theconsequences for bullying are
fairly serious.
Brooke (15:40):
Well, they can be.
It depends on, you know, wehave to look at the
developmental age, we have tolook at the history of the
student.
I mean, first and foremost, wewant to educate them on the
proper way.
So Meredith said there's notmediation with bullying.
Well, there is, but that's notthe first step.
The first step is to look at itand apply whatever consequences
in education we can give thechild.
And then, once the child's beeneducated on the proper behavior
(16:02):
or why their behavior wasconsidered bullying, then we can
maybe mediate with the students.
But we have to make sure thatthat's taken care of.
And you know, oftentimes,especially back when we were in
school, we saw kids oh you're,you're getting suspended.
So nowadays parents, you knowthey're like why didn't you
suspend them?
Well, first, we can't reallyshare with you what we do to
another student.
That's, that's illegal.
I can't talk to another parentabout someone else's child.
(16:26):
But you know, that's what cameto our mind when we were in
school.
They got suspended.
That's how you knew they werein trouble.
Well, research has shown that'snot the most effective and
productive way to deal with it.
Really, research shows let'seducate the students, let's get
them to understand what they didwas wrong, maybe find out why
they were doing it and come upwith a resolution or a different
kind of behavior which goeshand in hand with our new
(16:46):
initiative, with our ISScoordinator.
So we still have in schoolsuspension in our schools, but
we are training our in schoolsuspension coordinators now to
do interventions to talk to kidsabout bullying to.
They have curriculum now thatwe've kind of developed that
they're utilizing within inschool suspension, so that we're
hopefully not just giving aconsequence but we're giving
education as well.
Every single ISS coordinatorthat we have in just people
(17:08):
public school has undergone fourdays of training in responsive
classrooms.
They've gone through a full dayof training that my office
provided them, and then everysingle person in my office has
been assigned an ISS coordinatorto monitor and mentor
throughout this year's to assistthem with their, with how
they're providing interventionsto our students.
It's a great opportunity totake advantage of that time
(17:30):
while the child is serving aconsequence where they can learn
what you know, what they can dobetter to be a better citizen,
to, to contribute to a positiveschool climate and hopefully,
hopefully, you know, reduce thenumber of the Recidivism.
Meredith (17:43):
you know we don't want we want.
If you're serving inconsequence, we want you to
learn from the consequence.
And that's definitely withbullying.
We want to make sure that it'snot just the student who is
being bullied that we need toempathize with, sometimes the
student who is doing thebullying.
Maybe they in turn were bulliedat another point.
Now they're bullying anotherstudent.
Maybe there's some things goingon that they need to.
(18:05):
They need to understand howtheir behavior is impacting
others.
You know there's a lot ofpieces where parents involvement
is really important and helpingour parents understand what
bullying is and that there areresources out there to help not
only the student who's beingbullied, but also, if your child
is the one that's doing thebullying, what can parents do to
(18:26):
help educate their own child,to make sure that you know they
don't have any of those bullyingbehaviors going forward?
Brooke (18:32):
A part of that bullying investigation I was talking
about earlier does involve asafety plan for a victim.
It does involve, you know, if achild's been identified as a
victim of bullying, there's asafety plan that can be put in
place, measures taken toidentify a trusted adult in the
building that they can talk to,to give them a plan of action.
If they're being bullied, whatcan they do, how can they
(18:52):
advocate for themselves.
So we do have a safety plan toaddress our victims because
they're, they have been violated.
Richie (18:59):
Yeah right.
Meredith (19:00):
Yeah, that form has has.
It says you know the part ofwhat the school's responsibility
to do is identify interventionsfor the victim and identify
interventions for the aggressor.
So they need to be addressingboth.
Richie (19:11):
Right, so are there community resources for parents.
Brooke (19:16):
Absolutely.
I think it's parent universitythat our face, our family and
and engagement counselors offer.
There's a parent universitythat has information on that.
We also have information fromour partnership with the city
where there's resources there.
Matt (19:32):
There's a lot on the on the face page family and
community engagement websiteyeah, they have the peak parent
university.
Meredith (19:39):
Yeah, and actually I'm working with the face
department.
We are going to be puttingtogether a bullying webinar for
for parents to to go on to peakparent university so that they
can see and, and we'll belisting some resources, and so
we're we're in the process ofworking on that so that we can
put that out to parents as well.
Brooke (19:56):
Sometimes the parents just need the tools.
Right, they, they may they knowwhat's wrong, or they, you know
they identify there's an issue,but where do you go from there?
How can they help their child?
You know cause?
We know parents are sending ustheir best.
They're not sending us their,their worst, it's the very best
that they have, and they wantthe best for their child, so we
try and assist them with that aswell.
Richie (20:15):
So practically, if my kid comes home and tells me and
it sounds like bullying, then asa parent, what?
What's my process?
What do I do?
Brooke (20:22):
You want to call the school, find out information,
tell me what happened.
Did you tell a teacher?
Did you tell?
Sometimes the kids will say, oh, I told my mom and you talked
to the parent and they nevertold you know they never told
their parent, or vice versa.
You know, they go home and theysay oh yeah, um, dad, I told
the teacher and she didn't doanything.
Well, come to find out theteacher never was told um you
(20:44):
know cause they weren'tcomfortable.
There was a reason for it, soyou know.
Starting with, where did thesituation occur?
How relevant is it?
If it occurred in a classroom,reach out to the teacher, find
out what's going on.
If you're not getting resultsfrom that, reach out to the
school counselor Always.
Our administrators areavailable too.
Um, but finding out and justdon't take your child's word for
it Always that they did reportit, because oftentimes we'll
(21:05):
find that they did not, and thenwe're in a position where we
can't help them because we don'tknow anything about it.
Richie (21:11):
Right.
Knowledge is power Right, andour advice to kids would be find
a trusted adult in this school.
Matt (21:16):
Yeah, and screen shot or save the evidence is another
biggie.
Definitely, I know that.
Meredith (21:21):
Definitely Cyber bullying is any of the the
following the the definitionthat we had talked about.
Brooke (21:27):
you know it's if it's happening on technology, social
media platforms, email there's abig caveat, though, that
parents need to be aware of Um,we have jurisdiction, right.
We have jurisdiction where wecan get involved and handle
situations, and we call it doorto door.
So if it's not happening atschool or around school, we
can't really intervene withconsequences, right.
(21:49):
We can certainly intervene withhelping to mediate when we can.
But if there's something goingon on social media, within the
community or amongst, you know,kids on the social media, we've
seen some ugly things happenthere and some parents have
gotten upset that we haven'tissued consequences.
But if it's not in ourjurisdiction, we're not allowed
to.
Richie (22:07):
Right.
Brooke (22:07):
So in those cases we don't want to just say, oh well,
we want to counsel with thechildren.
You know, use our schoolcounselors.
Oftentimes if it's an ugly uglycase, you know our school
resource officer may getinvolved to provide assistance
to that family.
But there there are someimportant notices about the
social media piece.
Sometimes the best thingsparents can do is just at night
(22:28):
have them put the phone on thekitchen counter and charge it
overnight in the kitchen counter.
Don't let them take it to theirrooms.
And then be aware of your wifioptions.
You can restrict your wifi andcut your wifi off at nine
o'clock for the kids so thatthey can't go and get on their
Chromebooks and do other things.
It's important that the kids do.
As Meredith said.
She was fortunate there wasn'tsocial media when she was
(22:49):
growing up.
It's important that they getthat break and sometimes as
parents we have to force thatbreak.
And they're savvy, these kids.
I tell you.
I still go to my grown kids andtell me please show me how to
do this.
They're savvy on being able todo those things and that's a way
to protect your children frombullying is just to give them
that break of what all is goingon and focus on, you know, on
(23:11):
the family and definitely youknow if the kids are are doing
some different things on socialmedia.
Meredith (23:15):
Remember, we always tell the kids save the evidence,
don't respond back.
Save the evidence and don'tshare.
Brooke (23:21):
Don't share it out.
Don't share it.
Don't share it.
That makes it worse.
Don't put that person on blast.
Look what they, what they, youknow that that just complicates
the situation.
Meredith (23:30):
But save the evidence so you want to report it to your
parents, and parents definitelyneed to remember.
Hey, there are options such asblocking and reporting.
You know sometimes if, ifsomebody's you know bullying on
like a media platform or agaming thing that might violate
their rules, and so making sureyou're reporting those things.
It's definitely something forparents to look into.
Well, Dr.
Matt (23:47):
Rootis and Meredith Sargl.
Thank you so much for coming inand sharing this important
information with us and ourfamilies.
I know it's bullying preventionmonth, but it's good to know
that Chesapeake Public Schoolsand your office is on it like
every day.
Brooke (24:02):
Right, so it's very, very nice to know that.
Matt (24:05):
And I think that with this information that's out there,
it definitely provides yetanother resource for our
families.
So thank you so much again.
Meredith, thank you for sharingyour story with us too.
Brooke (24:16):
And we appreciate the opportunity to be here.
Meredith (24:18):
Yes, thank you.
Matt (24:29):
Impact 8 survey cards were sent home on October 17th.
Please remember to sign orreturn completed cards as soon
as possible.
The Impact Aid programgenerates close to $3 million in
federal aid money that is usedto support all of our students
and programs across the district.
We are very fortunate to havewith us under Sheriff Dave
(24:55):
Rosado here to talk about thethings that are going on within
Chesapeake Public Schools thatthe Sheriff's Department is
taking part in.
It's good to be here, thank you.
Richie (25:04):
Sure, sure, it's good to see you.
I've known you a long time, butI don't know very much about
your background.
Tell us some of your story.
Dave (25:11):
Sure, I'm from Brooklyn, new York, born and raised.
My parents are from Puerto Rico, so I guess I'm a New Yorker,
as they say.
And before moving out toVirginia, I worked with Geraldo
Rivera on his talk show forabout 10 years.
Richie (25:26):
Really, yeah, wow.
So how long have you been inthe Sheriff's Department?
不知道, 22 years in October.
Wow, um, so you actually havelike a bullying program you take
out to elementary schools.
Dave (25:37):
Correct.
We started this program as Be aBuddy, not a Bulley back in
2012 and now it's called Be aHero, not a Zero, and that
phrase in itself Helps the kidsunderstand that they can do
something about bullying,because heroes help and zeros
hurt.
So that's a really nice phraseand and these kids?
(25:58):
They chance it, they sing itand they Repeat the phrase over
and over so about the show, canyou tell us a little bit what
takes place?
Matt (26:07):
Yeah?
Dave (26:07):
Yeah, it's a fun, fast-paced magic show.
Okay, because I'm also amagician right.
Richie (26:13):
So it was easy we were gonna get you to do some trick
for us today, but there's novideo.
You don't have any audio magictricks.
Matt (26:21):
I assume right throw a voice or something.
Dave (26:25):
Uh, so it's.
Uh, it's a 40 minute show andwe go over the the basics of of
bullying and bully prevention,bully tips and again it's geared
towards the elementary schoolage Children.
What's most important with usrestarting this program within
the schools is now we have theSROs that are deputies in the
(26:46):
elementary schools, so that tiesin great because they see their
first interaction with lawenforcement is a friendly
interaction.
It's a smile that they seeevery day when they go to school
and that builds trust we wantthe kids to run towards us and
that run away for us, right,right.
Richie (27:05):
So what?
What's the message that you'regiven to these elementary school
kids?
Dave (27:09):
The message is we're out there in uniform, whether the
SRO or myself, at each schooland I'm in front of every
student at the schools.
I'm only there for 40 minutesat a time and I want to let them
know that the SROs that arethere, they're your friends, and
this anti-bullying campaignthat we do through the be a hero
(27:31):
, not a zero, school assemblyprogram Want them to know that
bullying is not okay.
We follow the golden rule benice to others like you want
them to be nice to you.
And when I explain whatbullying is, it's basically
being mean to another kid overand over.
So if they get that concept,then they know that one.
(27:51):
If you are doing that, you canchange, because I tell them that
heroes they help others.
And if you're not helpingothers and you're standing by,
either Participating or fromafar, not doing anything, then,
along with the bully, you're azero.
So that concept they can get.
No one wants to be a zero, theywant to be a hero.
(28:11):
Right, so we do.
Heroes help with thumbs up andzeros hurt with thumbs down.
And then they follow that andright at the end of the show
they're smiling, they'rehigh-fiving and they're chanting
that on the way out to the oh,okay, wow.
And I was at a school once andthere was a little girl, a girl,
up in the front row and I toldher Wow, I'd like your smile and
(28:36):
I like your shoes.
Your shoes are so nice.
She lit up.
You know, she lit up and it'sjust a small little compliments,
right.
Being nice to someone makestheir day so in a school of
Couple hundred students, ifeveryone is nice to each other,
that's just.
Richie (28:53):
You know, it's, it's amazing, spreads it right and
this is important becausebullying carries a lot of
effects Uh on on kids and,potentially, families even it
does so.
Dave (29:03):
As parents, we know our kids.
We know when they're there'ssomething on their mind, we know
when they're agitated, we knowwhen they're sad and when
they're happy.
So if your child comes home andit's not acting like they
normally act and something'swrong, and that's when you have
to have that conversation.
You know what's wrong and youcould also If, if they're sad,
(29:25):
if they're Uh, if they feelalone, if they're they isolate
themselves, then there'sdefinitely those are some look
for us, for parents and families.
And and kids.
The statistics say that one outof every three elementary age
students Are bullied and one inevery five of kindergarten
students are also.
(29:46):
Wow if you have friends andthey're sad and they're lonely,
they're nervous, they'reagitated, um, they're scared,
then say something.
Right, like like the term seesomething, say something.
It's important.
And it's not about tattling andthat's what I talked to the
kids about.
It's not if someone you knowspilled their juice and you tell
(30:08):
on it, that's who cares aboutthat.
But when someone is being hurtand you can do something about
it, that is not tattling, thatis Telling right.
And who do you want to tell?
You want to tell an adult, anadult that you trust, right, and
that's really important.
That's why, in uniform, we tellthe students trust People in
uniform, a firefighter, policeofficer, deputy sheriff you know
(30:31):
we're here to help.
And of course, within theschools, you have your principal
, you have your teachers, yourguidance counselors, you have
the school security officer atthe front and and you also have
parents that work within.
So grab an adult, tell an adult, and that's really the most
important thing that you can do.
Right, ruling is never okay,but for the parents, basically
(30:53):
you know, coach your kids inimpossible ways.
If bullying occurs, what to do.
The school is your ally.
I know the school has a zerotolerance policy on bullying.
We are just trying to sharethat with the kids and of course
, you take it, you know, afterwe leave.
But if we can come to theschool, put on this anti-bullies
(31:14):
school presentation and helpwith the schools, because
because that's what we want todo.
We're partnering with you tohelp keep the kids safe and to
make them feel connected to thecommunity, which is us as well.
Matt (31:27):
Yeah, and y'all go to, I mean, all the elementary schools
, right?
Dave (31:30):
So the this program is offered to all the schools now
I've gotten seven calls and I'veBooked seven of these assembly
shows for this month alone andI'm still getting calls.
Richie (31:42):
Wow, that's great.
They're gonna go back to backto back yeah wow, this has been
great conversation and we'revery appreciative of, for what
you and all these sROs are doing, what your, what the sheriff's
office does.
This sort of one-on-oneconnection with kids I think is
crucial and and and weappreciate and we appreciate
your time today.
Matt (32:01):
Yeah, thank you so much for coming and sharing all this
information with us in ourcommunity.
Richie (32:08):
Thanks for listening to the stories behind our story.
We hope you found today'sepisode helpful and if your
child or someone he or she knowsor someone you know is being
bullied, they should contact oryou should contact a trusted
adult in the school to reportthat.
Also available on every page ofthe cps website is a link to
the cps report line.
(32:28):
You can anonymously or notnecessarily you can include your
name Report incidents ofbullying and other concerns you
may have about your child andhis or her school.
Welcome to Amplified the Chesapeake Public Schools
podcast.
Richie (00:13):
Chesapeake Schools is located in the Hampton Roads
area of southeastern Virginia.
We serve 40,000 students in 45schools and three centers.
This podcast is designed totell the stories behind our
story and to introduce andcelebrate the people and
programs that make us one of thepremier school districts in
Virginia.
And welcome to our thirdepisode here of Amplified the
(00:37):
Chesapeake Public Schoolspodcast.
I'm Richie Bab and I'm herewith Matt Graham.
Yep, and can you believe, Matt?
I mean, it's almost November.
Matt (00:46):
I know.
Richie (00:47):
I mean it's crazy right.
Matt (00:48):
The temperature is great, though.
Brooke (00:49):
I love this.
I love the fall in Chesapeake.
Is that your season?
Matt (00:52):
That's your season, fall is my season, man, I'm not into
the pumpkin spice thing thateverybody's in, but like just
the air is crisp.
Richie (00:59):
You know, I'm surprised by that.
Actually I'm surprised.
Matt (01:02):
No, I love the fall.
I think it's the best timearound here.
Richie (01:05):
You know it is great, I love summer.
But the only consolation for methat summer is over is college
football Roll tie.
Matt (01:14):
Nice blur Thanks.
Richie (01:16):
Yeah, thanks.
So on top of all that, though,october is National Bullying
Prevention Month.
We had an opportunity to talkto a few people, both in the
school system and actually theSheriff's Department, about
bullying.
Well, as you may know, it isNational Bullying Prevention
Month, and to help us get intothis a little bit, to understand
(01:37):
what bullying is and whatparents and families can do
about it, we have our AssistantDirector of Student Conduct and
Support, dr Brooke Rudis, ishere, and Meredith Sargal, our
Student Engagement Counselor,both from Chesapeake Public
Schools are here.
And let's start with you,brooke.
Let us get to know you a littlebit how long you've been in the
school system.
Where'd you come from?
Brooke (01:56):
Well, thanks for having us, Richie.
First of all, I appreciate you.
I've been with ChesapeakePublic Schools for 22 years now
and an education for 25.
Okay, so I started myeducational career after I
graduated from Old Dominion.
I graduated with a degree inrecreational therapy.
Really didn't know what to dowith that and I started working
actually at a residentialtreatment facility and started
(02:19):
working with kids there andrealized that the need that kids
had.
One of the students I wasworking with there didn't even
know how to read.
He was 11 years old, so it kindof tore up my heart strings and
he was going through a lot inhis life and I went on to get my
master's degree in specialeducation and I worked at
Southeastern CooperativeEducation Program for three
years with students withemotional disabilities and after
working there, I continued myadministrative degrees through
(02:42):
George Washington University andstarted working at Chesapeake
Public Schools and I startedhere as a teacher for emotional
disabilities at ChittamElementary and I was there for a
few years and I taughtemotional disabilities at
Hickory High School for a fewyears and then I went into
administration and I wasassistant principal at Deep
Creek Middle for four years andat Hickory Middle for four years
and then I became thesupervisor of the Office of
(03:05):
Pupil Discipline and we grew andour name changed to the Office
of Student Conduct and Supportand I was promoted to the
assistant director.
And here we are.
So my passion has always beenworking with students who have
challenges with their behaviorsand I'm grateful for this role
to be able to help more kids.
Richie (03:21):
Now, meredith, you're relatively new to the school
system, right?
Meredith (03:23):
Yes, yes, I actually, I started in July.
Richie (03:27):
Oh really.
Meredith (03:28):
Yeah, I am originally from Ohio and had gotten my
master's in counseling, so withschool and mental health
specialties and I decided to gointo the school because that's
kind of what felt like home tome.
But I actually had moved out toArizona and I was working in
Arizona for the past 12 years.
I primarily worked with middleschool sixth, seventh and eighth
(03:50):
for the majority of the timeand saw a lot, a lot of drama, a
lot of bullying that happensthere.
That's definitely kind of helpswith my passion to help prevent
bullying.
But I decided my husband and Idecided we wanted to be on this
side of the Mississippi.
So, we decided our kids areyoung.
So I have two young kids and wedecided that we were going to
(04:14):
pick up and move.
Richie (04:16):
So you threw darts at a map.
No, it was a little bit morestrategic than that.
Meredith (04:22):
I did want to a state where I felt like education was
really valued, and to come to acity where the schools were
hyper-performing and reallywanted to have that for my
family is selfishly, for me aswell.
So, I had applied to be aschool counselor because that's
what I've been.
I've been a school counselor forthe last 12 years and just
(04:44):
applied to be a studentengagement resource counselor.
So I'm not thinking like, oh,that'd be great to be able to
make more of an impact and workwith more schools and work with
more students.
And what do you know?
Here I am.
Richie (04:55):
Here you are.
Brooke (04:58):
We interviewed her and snatched her right up.
You are a bullying queen.
Put you right in charge of that.
Meredith (05:04):
Bullying MTSS, give me all the stuff.
Matt (05:07):
So we've all experienced bullying.
I know I was bullied,especially elementary metal
where your kind of focus is.
Do you all mind sharing a timewhere you might have been
bullied and how you kind ofdealt with it?
Meredith (05:20):
Well, I know I can speak for myself.
I experienced bullying inprimarily in seventh and eighth
grade, so I was my junior highyears and it was pretty severe,
I think, especially consideringthinking about the definition
and going into what bullying is.
It was a lot of threats, a lotof tears, a lot of kids saying
(05:40):
that they were going to Beat meup if I went to the bathroom by
myself.
Notes in my locker saying thatthey wished I was dead.
Nice Petitions.
I had petitions from you know20, 30 students would sign it
saying how much they hated me.
Brooke (05:58):
That's crazy.
Meredith (06:01):
I had, I remember, one experience waiting for my mom
to pick me up aftercross-country practice and a
fellow student came out and itwas the group of students that
were primarily targeting me andshe spit on me.
And I found out later I didn'tknow it at the time.
I would go home and I wouldjust cry and cry and say how
much I hated school.
Matt (06:20):
I didn't wanna go to school my grades were dropping
and everything.
Meredith (06:23):
And so my parents I didn't know it, but at the time
they went in and they talked tothe school to try and get it to
stop.
And my mom told me later thatshe said that she kind of was
giving the brush off, that therewasn't much they could do
because they didn't have anyevidence.
They didn't really have anyproof.
There wasn't really much theycould do and I mean eventually
it stopped.
I mean I learned very young, Iguess at that point, that who I
(06:47):
could and couldn't trust and Idid.
I had one friend.
She was going through a verysimilar experience and we kind
of supported each other.
Brooke (06:54):
Those are kind of the experiences we draw off, because
that is a challenge for ouradministrators.
What do you do when there's notevidence?
How do you support?
a student who is being bulliedand you can't prove it Her word
against another child's word.
And then what do we do toempower kids so that they feel
like they can counteract some ofthe bullying that's going on,
(07:15):
because we know what happens?
Like you said, we've all beenbullied.
We've all been those situationsand we reflect back on a
situation like Meredith istalking about and how can we
train our administrators betterto intervene?
What tools can we give ourcounselors to intervene?
And so we definitely rely onour own personal experiences as
to how we can better serve ourstudents so that they don't go
through what Meredith has andgoing home and crying and
(07:39):
parents going up to school andtalking to administrators and
feeling that they weren'tsupported.
It's a tough position butcertainly that we need to take
it all seriously, which is whywe're so glad Meredith's on our
team to bring that experiencethat she's had not only herself
as being bullied, but also allthe wonderful experiences she's
had helping kids through that.
Meredith (07:58):
And I will say too, getting through that was, I
think obviously I had a goodfriend, but my parents were so
supportive and I guess I can sayI was lucky in the sense that
it was during the generationwhere we didn't have internet at
home.
Brooke (08:16):
I could go home and get away from it, and kids these
days don't have that luxuryanymore.
Meredith (08:21):
It can be constant and chronic, and so I was lucky in
the sense that I was able to gohome and I had family and I had
a brother and a sister who wereolder than me that tried to help
me through it, and I definitelywent through a very, very
serious period of depression buteventually the bullying stopped
(08:42):
and I learned a lot of thingsabout how bullying can impact a
person, and that has definitelyinfluenced how I talk to
students, especially those kidsgoing through those fifth, sixth
, seventh and eighth grade years, where that's when bullying is
at its peak.
Richie (08:59):
So that's definitely why they, you know so fortunately I
mean more so than then bullyingis.
There's a lot more awareness ofbullying right In the schools
than it was then.
But bullying takes a lot ofdifferent forms, including on
social media, on cyber bullying.
What's the difference, though?
If you guys could enlighten meof the difference between
(09:21):
bullying and just somebody beingmean every now and a while.
Brooke (09:23):
There's a big difference between bullying and teasing.
There's a big differencebetween being mean and bullying.
Meredith (09:30):
When we talk about bullying, specifically about
bullying and its impact onmental health I know a lot of
people are concerned about.
Well, if my child's beingbullied, you know my child could
become depressed, they couldcommit suicide.
Well, when we're talking aboutbullying, there's a really
specific definition that wewanna refer to.
There are three main parts forsomething to be considered
bullying.
One is that there's an act ofaggression.
(09:51):
Now, that act of aggression canbe verbal, but it can be
physical.
So we you know the name calling, the taunts, the threatening.
It can be physical tripping,pushing, even somebody who's
like constantly stealing theirthings or messing with their
things you know, somebody who'sgetting their stuff knocked out
of their hands.
you know, we see those kind ofclassic images, but it can also
(10:11):
be that emotional piece beingexcluded.
Everybody's invited to thisparty except for that person.
You know that social exclusion,especially at those, you know,
middle school ages, is soimpactful.
So actual acts of bodily harm,demeaning commentary, all those
can be seen as aggression.
And so that's the first part.
There's an act of aggression.
The second part is that itoccurs over a period of time and
(10:34):
we're not talking about justsomething that happens.
Well, it happened three timesin one day.
That's bullying.
No, we're talking aboutsomething that occurs over a
period of weeks, sometimesmonths, and we don't wanna let
that behavior get to that point.
But when we're talking aboutbullying, bullying can be very
subtle too.
And so sometimes it goes missedor dismissed.
So it's something that isoccurring over a length of time.
(10:57):
And the last piece is thatthere's an imbalance of power,
so you have maybe multiplestudents picking on one student,
so there's an actual numbersgame happening.
But it can also be social power, somebody who maybe has more
friends.
They're seen as being betteroff in terms of socioeconomic
(11:19):
status.
They have more money, they havemore friends.
They might even be somebody whoeverybody knows is a bully.
They have fear.
There's power there and so andthey need be the people who are
picking on somebody with lesspower.
It could be somebody who'ssmaller, younger, maybe new to
school and, honestly, especiallystudents with disabilities are
(11:40):
a prime example of somebody whomight have just less power, less
social power, and I'm not justtalking about physical
disabilities, so that'scertainly you know a category
I'm not talking about studentswith maybe learning disabilities
, kids with ADHD, kids who areon the spectrum, who may come
across as more socially awkwardand don't interact in the same
(12:01):
way as other students.
So those three pieces, okay,have to all be there for us to
consider that bullying.
Now, if something happens onceand it's unintentional, we might
call that rude.
If something happens once andit's like deliberate, that's
being mean right.
If kids are mutually jokingaround, everybody's having fun,
(12:21):
that's teasing right.
Teasing is everybody's havingfun, nobody's getting hurt.
And then the other one thatbullying frequently gets
conflated with is conflictConflict.
You have groups of equal poweror two people of equal power.
Now there may be ongoing backand forth, but that power
differential isn't there andfrequently there's a solution.
(12:42):
Like you can mediate conflict,you cannot mediate bullying.
So really those are.
it's kind of a complexdefinition You're looking at a
lot of moving parts, and that'swhy it's so important that we do
the investigations, that we doto make sure that when we say,
hey, this is bullying or thisisn't bullying, we need to make
sure that we've really looked atall the pieces.
Matt (13:03):
Right.
So when you're doing theinvestigations, what sort of
takes place with that?
Brooke (13:08):
Certainly we actually have a procedure to investigate
bullying.
The first thing administratorshave to do is determine is it
actually bullying, as Meredithwas talking about?
And if it's determined to bebullying and fitting under that
definition, then administratorsdo a very thorough investigation
.
They'll talk to the studentsand find out what's going on.
It might be in conjunction witha school counselor so that
(13:30):
there's a safety feel foreveryone involved.
It may not be but identifyingwhat the behaviors are of
concern and then there is anotification process.
So recently we just passedHouse Bill 1592 talking about
we're required to investigatebullying and now we're required
to report bullying of anystudent who may be involved in
(13:50):
that, whether it's the victim orperpetrator.
Any parent of a student who hasallegedly been involved with
bullying has to be notifiedwithin 24 hours and that's
actually a bill that we have tofollow.
So some parents may get callsabout an allegation that
administrator hasn't thoroughlyinvestigated yet, because we
have to follow the law.
But then we have five days to doto investigate that allegation
(14:11):
and that involves interviewingkids, finding out what's going
on.
We want our administrators toseparate the students so we can
get statements from themconfidentially and they can
share information.
We like to get writtenstatements Sometimes we don't,
Sometimes it's verbal,especially depending on the
student's age and then talk tothe teachers, see if there's a
witness.
And those are some things.
When Meredith was talking aboutadministrators, you know
(14:33):
brushed it off, didn't have theevidence.
That's something we also talkedto the kids about.
You know, if you think you'rebeing bullied, look around you.
Who was around that might be awitness.
You know who heard this thatadministrator can go talk to,
because we want to stop it.
We don't want kids to be goingto school bullied and we want
kids to come to school and feelsafe.
So then they do theinvestigation and they weigh the
totality of the evidence andthey make a finding from that
(14:56):
and then parents are informed ofthe outcome of that
investigation.
We have a whole form andprocedures in place that our
administrators follow, that weshare with them and we train
them on it.
There was actually a modulethat each administrator in our
district, each schooladministrator had to complete
with accompanying questions atthe end so that we made sure our
administrators were aware ofthe new law and aware of the
investigation, and we took themthrough step by step, the form
(15:19):
that must be completed anytimethat they feel like bullying has
taken place, Anytime they'vedetermined that bullying was
taking place.
Richie (15:25):
Yeah, so obviously something like bullying that the
general assembly gets involvedin and there's a what sounds
like a legal definition ofbullying.
It sounds like then theconsequences for bullying are
fairly serious.
Brooke (15:40):
Well, they can be.
It depends on, you know, wehave to look at the
developmental age, we have tolook at the history of the
student.
I mean, first and foremost, wewant to educate them on the
proper way.
So Meredith said there's notmediation with bullying.
Well, there is, but that's notthe first step.
The first step is to look at itand apply whatever consequences
in education we can give thechild.
And then, once the child's beeneducated on the proper behavior
(16:02):
or why their behavior wasconsidered bullying, then we can
maybe mediate with the students.
But we have to make sure thatthat's taken care of.
And you know, oftentimes,especially back when we were in
school, we saw kids oh you're,you're getting suspended.
So nowadays parents, you knowthey're like why didn't you
suspend them?
Well, first, we can't reallyshare with you what we do to
another student.
That's, that's illegal.
I can't talk to another parentabout someone else's child.
(16:26):
But you know, that's what cameto our mind when we were in
school.
They got suspended.
That's how you knew they werein trouble.
Well, research has shown that'snot the most effective and
productive way to deal with it.
Really, research shows let'seducate the students, let's get
them to understand what they didwas wrong, maybe find out why
they were doing it and come upwith a resolution or a different
kind of behavior which goeshand in hand with our new
(16:46):
initiative, with our ISScoordinator.
So we still have in schoolsuspension in our schools, but
we are training our in schoolsuspension coordinators now to
do interventions to talk to kidsabout bullying to.
They have curriculum now thatwe've kind of developed that
they're utilizing within inschool suspension, so that we're
hopefully not just giving aconsequence but we're giving
education as well.
Every single ISS coordinatorthat we have in just people
(17:08):
public school has undergone fourdays of training in responsive
classrooms.
They've gone through a full dayof training that my office
provided them, and then everysingle person in my office has
been assigned an ISS coordinatorto monitor and mentor
throughout this year's to assistthem with their, with how
they're providing interventionsto our students.
It's a great opportunity totake advantage of that time
(17:30):
while the child is serving aconsequence where they can learn
what you know, what they can dobetter to be a better citizen,
to, to contribute to a positiveschool climate and hopefully,
hopefully, you know, reduce thenumber of the Recidivism.
Meredith (17:43):
you know we don't want we want.
If you're serving inconsequence, we want you to
learn from the consequence.
And that's definitely withbullying.
We want to make sure that it'snot just the student who is
being bullied that we need toempathize with, sometimes the
student who is doing thebullying.
Maybe they in turn were bulliedat another point.
Now they're bullying anotherstudent.
Maybe there's some things goingon that they need to.
(18:05):
They need to understand howtheir behavior is impacting
others.
You know there's a lot ofpieces where parents involvement
is really important and helpingour parents understand what
bullying is and that there areresources out there to help not
only the student who's beingbullied, but also, if your child
is the one that's doing thebullying, what can parents do to
(18:26):
help educate their own child,to make sure that you know they
don't have any of those bullyingbehaviors going forward?
Brooke (18:32):
A part of that bullying investigation I was talking
about earlier does involve asafety plan for a victim.
It does involve, you know, if achild's been identified as a
victim of bullying, there's asafety plan that can be put in
place, measures taken toidentify a trusted adult in the
building that they can talk to,to give them a plan of action.
If they're being bullied, whatcan they do, how can they
(18:52):
advocate for themselves.
So we do have a safety plan toaddress our victims because
they're, they have been violated.
Richie (18:59):
Yeah right.
Meredith (19:00):
Yeah, that form has has.
It says you know the part ofwhat the school's responsibility
to do is identify interventionsfor the victim and identify
interventions for the aggressor.
So they need to be addressingboth.
Richie (19:11):
Right, so are there community resources for parents.
Brooke (19:16):
Absolutely.
I think it's parent universitythat our face, our family and
and engagement counselors offer.
There's a parent universitythat has information on that.
We also have information fromour partnership with the city
where there's resources there.
Matt (19:32):
There's a lot on the on the face page family and
community engagement websiteyeah, they have the peak parent
university.
Meredith (19:39):
Yeah, and actually I'm working with the face
department.
We are going to be puttingtogether a bullying webinar for
for parents to to go on to peakparent university so that they
can see and, and we'll belisting some resources, and so
we're we're in the process ofworking on that so that we can
put that out to parents as well.
Brooke (19:56):
Sometimes the parents just need the tools.
Right, they, they may they knowwhat's wrong, or they, you know
they identify there's an issue,but where do you go from there?
How can they help their child?
You know cause?
We know parents are sending ustheir best.
They're not sending us their,their worst, it's the very best
that they have, and they wantthe best for their child, so we
try and assist them with that aswell.
Richie (20:15):
So practically, if my kid comes home and tells me and
it sounds like bullying, then asa parent, what?
What's my process?
What do I do?
Brooke (20:22):
You want to call the school, find out information,
tell me what happened.
Did you tell a teacher?
Did you tell?
Sometimes the kids will say, oh, I told my mom and you talked
to the parent and they nevertold you know they never told
their parent, or vice versa.
You know, they go home and theysay oh yeah, um, dad, I told
the teacher and she didn't doanything.
Well, come to find out theteacher never was told um you
(20:44):
know cause they weren'tcomfortable.
There was a reason for it, soyou know.
Starting with, where did thesituation occur?
How relevant is it?
If it occurred in a classroom,reach out to the teacher, find
out what's going on.
If you're not getting resultsfrom that, reach out to the
school counselor Always.
Our administrators areavailable too.
Um, but finding out and justdon't take your child's word for
it Always that they did reportit, because oftentimes we'll
(21:05):
find that they did not, and thenwe're in a position where we
can't help them because we don'tknow anything about it.
Richie (21:11):
Right.
Knowledge is power Right, andour advice to kids would be find
a trusted adult in this school.
Matt (21:16):
Yeah, and screen shot or save the evidence is another
biggie.
Definitely, I know that.
Meredith (21:21):
Definitely Cyber bullying is any of the the
following the the definitionthat we had talked about.
Brooke (21:27):
you know it's if it's happening on technology, social
media platforms, email there's abig caveat, though, that
parents need to be aware of Um,we have jurisdiction, right.
We have jurisdiction where wecan get involved and handle
situations, and we call it doorto door.
So if it's not happening atschool or around school, we
can't really intervene withconsequences, right.
(21:49):
We can certainly intervene withhelping to mediate when we can.
But if there's something goingon on social media, within the
community or amongst, you know,kids on the social media, we've
seen some ugly things happenthere and some parents have
gotten upset that we haven'tissued consequences.
But if it's not in ourjurisdiction, we're not allowed
to.
Richie (22:07):
Right.
Brooke (22:07):
So in those cases we don't want to just say, oh well,
we want to counsel with thechildren.
You know, use our schoolcounselors.
Oftentimes if it's an ugly uglycase, you know our school
resource officer may getinvolved to provide assistance
to that family.
But there there are someimportant notices about the
social media piece.
Sometimes the best thingsparents can do is just at night
(22:28):
have them put the phone on thekitchen counter and charge it
overnight in the kitchen counter.
Don't let them take it to theirrooms.
And then be aware of your wifioptions.
You can restrict your wifi andcut your wifi off at nine
o'clock for the kids so thatthey can't go and get on their
Chromebooks and do other things.
It's important that the kids do.
As Meredith said.
She was fortunate there wasn'tsocial media when she was
(22:49):
growing up.
It's important that they getthat break and sometimes as
parents we have to force thatbreak.
And they're savvy, these kids.
I tell you.
I still go to my grown kids andtell me please show me how to
do this.
They're savvy on being able todo those things and that's a way
to protect your children frombullying is just to give them
that break of what all is goingon and focus on, you know, on
(23:11):
the family and definitely youknow if the kids are are doing
some different things on socialmedia.
Meredith (23:15):
Remember, we always tell the kids save the evidence,
don't respond back.
Save the evidence and don'tshare.
Brooke (23:21):
Don't share it out.
Don't share it.
Don't share it.
That makes it worse.
Don't put that person on blast.
Look what they, what they, youknow that that just complicates
the situation.
Meredith (23:30):
But save the evidence so you want to report it to your
parents, and parents definitelyneed to remember.
Hey, there are options such asblocking and reporting.
You know sometimes if, ifsomebody's you know bullying on
like a media platform or agaming thing that might violate
their rules, and so making sureyou're reporting those things.
It's definitely something forparents to look into.
Well, Dr.
Matt (23:47):
Rootis and Meredith Sargl.
Thank you so much for coming inand sharing this important
information with us and ourfamilies.
I know it's bullying preventionmonth, but it's good to know
that Chesapeake Public Schoolsand your office is on it like
every day.
Brooke (24:02):
Right, so it's very, very nice to know that.
Matt (24:05):
And I think that with this information that's out there,
it definitely provides yetanother resource for our
families.
So thank you so much again.
Meredith, thank you for sharingyour story with us too.
Brooke (24:16):
And we appreciate the opportunity to be here.
Meredith (24:18):
Yes, thank you.
Matt (24:29):
Impact 8 survey cards were sent home on October 17th.
Please remember to sign orreturn completed cards as soon
as possible.
The Impact Aid programgenerates close to $3 million in
federal aid money that is usedto support all of our students
and programs across the district.
We are very fortunate to havewith us under Sheriff Dave
(24:55):
Rosado here to talk about thethings that are going on within
Chesapeake Public Schools thatthe Sheriff's Department is
taking part in.
It's good to be here, thank you.
Richie (25:04):
Sure, sure, it's good to see you.
I've known you a long time, butI don't know very much about
your background.
Tell us some of your story.
Dave (25:11):
Sure, I'm from Brooklyn, new York, born and raised.
My parents are from Puerto Rico, so I guess I'm a New Yorker,
as they say.
And before moving out toVirginia, I worked with Geraldo
Rivera on his talk show forabout 10 years.
Richie (25:26):
Really, yeah, wow.
So how long have you been inthe Sheriff's Department?
不知道, 22 years in October.
Wow, um, so you actually havelike a bullying program you take
out to elementary schools.
Dave (25:37):
Correct.
We started this program as Be aBuddy, not a Bulley back in
2012 and now it's called Be aHero, not a Zero, and that
phrase in itself Helps the kidsunderstand that they can do
something about bullying,because heroes help and zeros
hurt.
So that's a really nice phraseand and these kids?
(25:58):
They chance it, they sing itand they Repeat the phrase over
and over so about the show, canyou tell us a little bit what
takes place?
Matt (26:07):
Yeah?
Dave (26:07):
Yeah, it's a fun, fast-paced magic show.
Okay, because I'm also amagician right.
Richie (26:13):
So it was easy we were gonna get you to do some trick
for us today, but there's novideo.
You don't have any audio magictricks.
Matt (26:21):
I assume right throw a voice or something.
Dave (26:25):
Uh, so it's.
Uh, it's a 40 minute show andwe go over the the basics of of
bullying and bully prevention,bully tips and again it's geared
towards the elementary schoolage Children.
What's most important with usrestarting this program within
the schools is now we have theSROs that are deputies in the
(26:46):
elementary schools, so that tiesin great because they see their
first interaction with lawenforcement is a friendly
interaction.
It's a smile that they seeevery day when they go to school
and that builds trust we wantthe kids to run towards us and
that run away for us, right,right.
Richie (27:05):
So what?
What's the message that you'regiven to these elementary school
kids?
Dave (27:09):
The message is we're out there in uniform, whether the
SRO or myself, at each schooland I'm in front of every
student at the schools.
I'm only there for 40 minutesat a time and I want to let them
know that the SROs that arethere, they're your friends, and
this anti-bullying campaignthat we do through the be a hero
(27:31):
, not a zero, school assemblyprogram Want them to know that
bullying is not okay.
We follow the golden rule benice to others like you want
them to be nice to you.
And when I explain whatbullying is, it's basically
being mean to another kid overand over.
So if they get that concept,then they know that one.
(27:51):
If you are doing that, you canchange, because I tell them that
heroes they help others.
And if you're not helpingothers and you're standing by,
either Participating or fromafar, not doing anything, then,
along with the bully, you're azero.
So that concept they can get.
No one wants to be a zero, theywant to be a hero.
(28:11):
Right, so we do.
Heroes help with thumbs up andzeros hurt with thumbs down.
And then they follow that andright at the end of the show
they're smiling, they'rehigh-fiving and they're chanting
that on the way out to the oh,okay, wow.
And I was at a school once andthere was a little girl, a girl,
up in the front row and I toldher Wow, I'd like your smile and
(28:36):
I like your shoes.
Your shoes are so nice.
She lit up.
You know, she lit up and it'sjust a small little compliments,
right.
Being nice to someone makestheir day so in a school of
Couple hundred students, ifeveryone is nice to each other,
that's just.
Richie (28:53):
You know, it's, it's amazing, spreads it right and
this is important becausebullying carries a lot of
effects Uh on on kids and,potentially, families even it
does so.
Dave (29:03):
As parents, we know our kids.
We know when they're there'ssomething on their mind, we know
when they're agitated, we knowwhen they're sad and when
they're happy.
So if your child comes home andit's not acting like they
normally act and something'swrong, and that's when you have
to have that conversation.
You know what's wrong and youcould also If, if they're sad,
(29:25):
if they're Uh, if they feelalone, if they're they isolate
themselves, then there'sdefinitely those are some look
for us, for parents and families.
And and kids.
The statistics say that one outof every three elementary age
students Are bullied and one inevery five of kindergarten
students are also.
(29:46):
Wow if you have friends andthey're sad and they're lonely,
they're nervous, they'reagitated, um, they're scared,
then say something.
Right, like like the term seesomething, say something.
It's important.
And it's not about tattling andthat's what I talked to the
kids about.
It's not if someone you knowspilled their juice and you tell
(30:08):
on it, that's who cares aboutthat.
But when someone is being hurtand you can do something about
it, that is not tattling, thatis Telling right.
And who do you want to tell?
You want to tell an adult, anadult that you trust, right, and
that's really important.
That's why, in uniform, we tellthe students trust People in
uniform, a firefighter, policeofficer, deputy sheriff you know
(30:31):
we're here to help.
And of course, within theschools, you have your principal
, you have your teachers, yourguidance counselors, you have
the school security officer atthe front and and you also have
parents that work within.
So grab an adult, tell an adult, and that's really the most
important thing that you can do.
Right, ruling is never okay,but for the parents, basically
(30:53):
you know, coach your kids inimpossible ways.
If bullying occurs, what to do.
The school is your ally.
I know the school has a zerotolerance policy on bullying.
We are just trying to sharethat with the kids and of course
, you take it, you know, afterwe leave.
But if we can come to theschool, put on this anti-bullies
(31:14):
school presentation and helpwith the schools, because
because that's what we want todo.
We're partnering with you tohelp keep the kids safe and to
make them feel connected to thecommunity, which is us as well.
Matt (31:27):
Yeah, and y'all go to, I mean, all the elementary schools
, right?
Dave (31:30):
So the this program is offered to all the schools now
I've gotten seven calls and I'veBooked seven of these assembly
shows for this month alone andI'm still getting calls.
Richie (31:42):
Wow, that's great.
They're gonna go back to backto back yeah wow, this has been
great conversation and we'revery appreciative of, for what
you and all these sROs are doing, what your, what the sheriff's
office does.
This sort of one-on-oneconnection with kids I think is
crucial and and and weappreciate and we appreciate
your time today.
Matt (32:01):
Yeah, thank you so much for coming and sharing all this
information with us in ourcommunity.
Richie (32:08):
Thanks for listening to the stories behind our story.
We hope you found today'sepisode helpful and if your
child or someone he or she knowsor someone you know is being
bullied, they should contact oryou should contact a trusted
adult in the school to reportthat.
Also available on every page ofthe cps website is a link to
the cps report line.
(32:28):
You can anonymously or notnecessarily you can include your
name Report incidents ofbullying and other concerns you
may have about your child andhis or her school.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com