November 24, 2025 • 38 mins
Today I talk to my best friend, Veronica Ho and as two longtime friends we trace a candid path from quiet teen years to midlife strength, exploring how weightlifting became therapy, why boundaries matter, and how perimenopause reshapes health goals. We share the unglamorous prep, the cost, the mindset shifts, and the power of saying no.
• early body image and being a confidant
• why lifting started and what changed
• training stats, body composition, and safety
• food prep, budgets, and time protection
• stage experiences and doing it in her forties
• attention, projection, and dressing for self
• gym as therapy and routine under stress
• perimenopause, bone health, and recovery
• realistic goals, reasons why, and setbacks
• boundaries that signal commitment to self
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Welcome to Amra’s Armchair Anecdotes! I’m Amra Pajalić—writer, teacher, and storyteller. Pull up a chair, and let’s dive into stories about writing, life, and lessons learned—sharing wisdom from my armchair to yours.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Amra Pajalic (00:00):
Welcome to Amora's Armchair Anecdotes.
I'm Amber PyLH, writer,teacher, and storyteller.
Pull up a chair and let's diveinto stories about writing,
life, and lessons learned.
Sharing wisdom from my armchairto yours.
You can find the episode shownotes, your free episode
(00:22):
handouts, and my how to guide atamrapilot.com slash monica.
And now it's time to die.
Welcome to Abra's armchairanecdotes.
Today I'm here with VeronicaHo, who is my best friend of 30
years.
She was a nurse for 20 yearsand she now works as a case
(00:43):
manager in supporting NDISclients, specialising in
disability.
Today she's here to talk abouther transition into
weightlifting as a way offinding well-being and joy.
Thank you, Veronica.
Thank you, Anna.
So um I just wanted to sort ofstart with the great passion of
your life is weightlifting, andthis has led you on a journey of
(01:04):
transformation.
So can you tell the audienceabout you as a teenager and your
body image at the time?
Veronica Ho (01:11):
So, as a teenager, I was always the tubby one.
Um not a lot of confidence atall.
I was always the person walkingwith their head down.
Um, kind of, well, not kind ofthe person.
I I perceive myself to be as aperson that was lost in the
crowd.
In the back corner.
(01:32):
Um, not I so I I wasn'tconfident in speaking to people.
So it's taken to me beingalmost 50 to build that
confidence, to keep my head uphigh and and and to put myself
in situations where I have totake a deep breath in and um be
big, be a big girl and go andhave conversations with people
(01:55):
that I wouldn't normally have.
But I was I was always thatperson in the background,
wearing black all the time.
Um, so I just fade into thebackground.
Amra Pajalic (02:05):
Yeah, and you but you also kind of attracted
people to you because you wereso um silent and so kind of
reserved, but you're quitewelcoming still, and people
would really approach you andtell you things.
And one of the things Iremember is that you were so
self-possessed as a teenagerwhere you were one of the rare
(02:26):
people who knew how to keeppeople's privacy.
So you kind of became theconfidant for a lot of people
and carried a lot of weightthere.
Veronica Ho (02:34):
I did, um, and I still find that today.
Um I guess that just comes fromhaving my own issues and my own
as a and my um own I'm gonnasay demons.
Um and I know how important itis to keep that that um uh
(03:02):
secret, I guess.
Amra Pajalic (03:03):
Yeah, and and to sort of help support people in
that way.
Veronica Ho (03:08):
Correct, and to understand how it is, how
important it is to other peopleto have a safe space.
Amra Pajalic (03:13):
Yeah, and that's something that really comes
through now in the job thatyou're doing, um, and also as a
nurse.
And so you are now a littlemiss weightlifter, um, and
you've even um competed.
So can you talk through how howall that happened and how the
transitions and changes?
Veronica Ho (03:32):
So the weightlifting and the um
decision to go on stage was um II remember being in a change
room when I was this goes backto when I was about 16, and I
remember being in a change roomand looking at myself, and I was
I couldn't fit into a size 18,and I remember looking at myself
and thinking, this this can'tbe, this isn't me, something has
(03:54):
to change.
Um and I always had a vision ofmyself of um not being that
person anymore.
Um, after having my daughter,who's now 16.
Um I thought I have to be aperson she looks up to, not
necessarily to look or notnecessarily to look skinny or
(04:20):
look a certain way, but to teachher that that, you know,
anything's possible if you putyour mind to it.
Um it's a very scary processfor someone that isn't
confident, for someone that umtook a long time to believe in
herself.
Um it's it's a really, reallyscary journey and continues to
(04:41):
be a really scary journey.
Amra Pajalic (04:43):
Well, let's just contextualise this for the
audience.
So you do weight training.
Tell us some of your stats interms of the weights that you
can do.
Veronica Ho (04:51):
Okay, so I the heaviest of leg pressed is 200
kilos.
That's the heaviest of legpressed.
Um shoulder press, the heaviestis 12 and a half kilos because
now I have lots of nickels andwhatnot.
Um, but I work around that withmy trainer.
Um I can do a leg extension of20 kilos on each leg, depending
(05:13):
on the weight my knees holdingup on the day.
Um and the heaviest dog deadlifted, I think, was 110 kilos.
And that's over a duration oflike four or five years of
serious training.
I haven't lifted that in thelast two weeks or anything.
They're just the biggestnumbers that I've lifted.
Amra Pajalic (05:32):
And also in terms of like the stats um with your
weight trainer, looks at yourbody fat composition and stuff
like that.
So what what's that about?
Veronica Ho (05:41):
So body composition, so the lowest, so
when I'm when I've been onstage, I think last body fat
percentage was I believe it wasuh seven or nine percent.
And and that's a bigdifference.
Seven and nine percent is a bigdifference.
Uh so let's just say eight, um,which isn't healthy.
(06:01):
So when I come off stage, I I'dgo into a different training
regime to put on the weight,correctly.
Um, and uh to put it in termsof size, maybe a size six, and
then I'll go up to a comfortablesize 10, um uh, which is what I
am now.
And yeah, and in terms ofkilos, so now I'm sitting at the
(06:29):
heaviest I've ever been, to behonest, which is 68 kilos.
The heaviest I've ever beenweight training is 68 kilos.
Well, when I hit stage, I'mabout 55, 60 kilos.
And all of that is muscle.
All of that is pure musclestage.
Amra Pajalic (06:45):
And just can you contextualise like the food and
the eating and all of the thingsthat go into this?
Because you're now at thispoint where you have this
amazing body that is beautifullysculpted and you know, just
stunning and I'm booty that Ijust love staring at, like
(07:06):
always, right?
And so you've got this amazingbody, and so um, but one of the
things that happens is you havepeople looking at you and going,
oh my god, and how do I dothat?
And they don't reallyunderstand the discipline and
the work that's going into it.
So, can you talk us throughlike your eating regime, your
training regime, all of thesethings that, you know, to be
(07:31):
where you are at and to do whatyou are doing, what does it
take?
Veronica Ho (07:36):
Um it takes being very selfish with your time.
Um the easiest part of gettingor being fit and healthy and
getting on stage and all of it.
All of it is is being selfishand making time.
(07:56):
The hardest part of it all isnot the eating, the hardest part
is um sorry, the the hardestpart is the preparation, the
easy part is training.
So, and also the hardest partis is that selfish of
selfishness of going or sayingto yourself, no, I'm going to
(08:16):
stop.
So I like I remember, I'll giveyou an example.
I'll remember we were movinghouse from housing sunshine, and
we were packing boxes, and Ihad boxes all around me, and
this is in my very first stages.
And I'm like, no, I don't I'vegot a train, so I had to work
on, I'm losing my body fatbefore working on my muscle.
(08:37):
So, and I remember with allthese boxes around me, we were
moving house.
I'm like, I know I said I wasgonna leave the house at two
o'clock to go and do mytraining, and I just left
everything.
My husband was home, and I saidto her, I've got to go where
you're going myself.
I've got to go train.
At two o'clock, I told you I'mgoing to train.
And that's that is the hardestpart to just drop everything and
(09:01):
to stick to your regime and tostay truly self.
And and the shopping, like it'sexpensive.
It gets really expensivebecause I'm shopping for my own
um nutrition and then plus formy family as well.
And that it can get really,really expensive.
Um, so and also um foodpreparation.
(09:26):
But you've got to take over thefridge.
Amra Pajalic (09:29):
Yeah, because you do your food prep, you do all of
your meals correct for a fewdays at a time.
Correct.
Protein every day, weighing.
Veronica Ho (09:36):
Weighing.
So we'll buy like because myhusband does it now also.
So we'll buy two or three kilosof our protein at a time, and
then get it home, put it infreezer bags, weigh it, put it
in the freezer bags, and then,you know, and it's all weighing.
It's it's just all weighing in.
But now I can do, I can do likethree days of food prepping and
(10:00):
two hours.
Because it's something thatyou'd be doing for the few
years.
Yeah, and it's just it's secondnature, and I can look at an
amount of food and go, yeah,that'll be that, right?
And I can chuck it all in.
Amra Pajalic (10:10):
So one of the things that I really sort of
wanted to discuss um with you,because you know, you are a
person who can really get insidethis, is that transformation
from that big, you know, girlwith low self-esteem, putting
yourself first now, putting yourneeds first, and this is what
(10:32):
your salvation also, becauseyou've got, as most of us, a lot
of pressure, a lot of uhresponsibilities.
So how does that transitionhappen?
Because, you know, there theylike I went through the opposite
where I was like the skinnymini.
Um, and now I am, you know, asize 16 and I'm fine.
(10:52):
I die, I'm not willing to dothe work that you do in order
to, you know, do the body, but Ido do weight training and try
and do a little bit with thediet and stuff.
Um and for me it's been a bigtransformation going from an
easy size eight where I neverhad to do anything to suddenly
whatever I eat sticks to thehips and my thighs and my
(11:13):
stomach, and going, oh.
And I still sometimes catchmyself in the mirror where I'm
like, oh, I'm I'm that round.
I still have that image in myhead of me from you know 18
years old.
Um, and for you it's theopposite.
Veronica Ho (11:29):
Well, I I still have that image of the 100 kilo
teenage girl.
Um and uh, you know, people go,Oh, you said good body, this,
that, and you know, but you lookso fit.
And and sometimes I do look inthe mirror and go, oh wow, I do
look quite fit, but as peopleclose to me know, I don't dress.
(11:53):
I I I don't I don't dress toshow off my body.
Um, I'm not used to attentionand I don't love myself or
anything.
I'm very proud of how far I'vecome.
Um I'm not going to deny thatis bloody hard work.
Um but I don't like to drawattention to myself it either.
So I still do sometimes feellike that 100 kilo girl that
(12:19):
still has to remind herself toto you know head up.
You know, stand with your headup or walk with your head up,
because I will still sometimescatch myself walking with my
head down and I I correct my16-year-old daughter on popping
your head up.
Which is really hard to do.
Amra Pajalic (12:37):
And have there been because uh we've we've had
these conversations aboutreactions where sometimes people
are kind of threatened or theysort of have these conversations
where they're looking at youand they're somehow judging
themselves against you in anegative way.
How has that been?
Veronica Ho (12:57):
Um confronting for me because I've I've never been
I don't know how to put thisright, but I've I've never been
a person to, I mean, we alljudge them on my own, right,
Rodney King.
Hey, it's it's my homie.
It's my hobby.
I mean, you know, I'm not gonnadeny that idea.
(13:17):
Um again, because we'rethinking um but I've never been
one to take a compliment world.
Um I've so when someone reactsto me, I'm like, Well my
thought.
Like it's it's my hard work.
Um sometimes I get it,sometimes I don't.
(13:41):
Um and I think sometimes I'llbecome oblivious to it.
But there there have been acouple of times where um like I
I give up a vibe as well.
So I I give up a vibe where I Idon't want attention, so I tend
to make a certain face wherewhere people kind of stay away
(14:04):
from me, which I think I doquite well, which which
sometimes doesn't um uh do verywell for myself.
But um yeah, there have been afew times where I've I've been
confronted with um um aperception of of what people
(14:28):
think of me.
Amra Pajalic (14:29):
Yes, where they're seeing this outer, beautiful,
sculpted body, um, and they'rereacting to you on that
superficial level, and you'relike still the 100 kilo big
girl.
Veronica Ho (14:44):
Um, and you know, we've had these conversations
where you're like perplexed andbewildered, and now you sort of
start avoiding some of thatwhere you've been dressing to
not draw so much attention toand and and you know, sometimes
my husband like keeps saying,You're right to wear that dress
because he looks so nice, or youcan, you know, this is defining
(15:05):
or that's defining, and I'mgoing, yeah, no, you know, I'm
not gonna wear that.
Um, you know, remember thefirst time I wore a bikini,
because Anna was a bikini girl.
I would wear a bikini with abig t-shirt over it.
Yeah.
Um the first time I wore abikini was when I went on stage.
(15:26):
Um it was a real bikini and shewas amazing.
Without even thinking that itwas the first time.
Like I remember being on theside of the stage almost in
tears, thinking, oh my gosh, I Ican't do this.
Um and I um I I somethingchoked up in my throat and I had
to swallow down.
(15:47):
And then I saw this of mydaughter with a little sign
going, Mummy, you can do it.
I'm like, oh God, I've got I'vegot to get up there, I've got
to get up there.
And I was like a dear inheadlights.
I I actually didn't enjoy beingup on stage, but I went back
and did it another two times.
Um, and it was just to prove tomyself, like I wish I I can do
(16:07):
this, I'm gonna do this again.
Amra Pajalic (16:09):
And this is something that you did do in
your 40s.
This is not something that youdid like in your 20s or 30s.
I think this was your 40s.
Correct.
And so, you know what, talk methrough why you wouldn't be able
to have done it in your 20s oryour 30s, why in your 40s you
could do it?
Veronica Ho (16:23):
I'm going to walk through, prove in my forties.
Again, coming back to mydaughter, um, to prove to her,
like I now say to her, um, ifshe feels as though she can't do
anything, I I don't say, lookat what, look at what mummy did,
I got up on stage.
It's just that, you know,getting up on stage though is a
(16:45):
process.
It's it's the diet, it's thetraining twice a day sometimes.
Um, it's following routine,it's saying no to people, it's
going out to people's houses,which I think people loved about
me, like, I'll bring my ownfood.
No, I'll bring my own food.
Amra Pajalic (17:01):
Yeah.
Won't eat anything at anyone'shouse.
Yeah.
Don't bother offering.
She's got her little containerssorted.
Veronica Ho (17:08):
But you know, coming back to what you said
about um uh about beingconfronted with people, like
that that's probably a time whenwhere I had to explain myself
to people.
So I'd go to people's houseslike, just have a little bit, a
little bit when just have alittle bit.
No, no, it's fine.
And then I realised that that'sthat's them projecting.
(17:31):
Because I think a lot of peopledidn't think that I could do
it, which was more reason for meto do it.
Amra Pajalic (17:36):
Yeah, well, even I remember when you were talking
about um after you lost yourweight, uh, because we had this
thing that we were like, you'rebig bone, you're big bone.
Veronica Ho (17:44):
Big bone.
I grew up being told, don'tyou, you're big bone.
I remember saying to my uncleonce, he said, Oh, you're just
big bone, and am I allowed tosweat?
Um no, I'm not too.
No, and I'm like, I'm not, no,I'm not.
I'm just you know, f bomb fat.
And then he kind of put hishead down.
Amra Pajalic (18:03):
Yeah.
Veronica Ho (18:03):
Um, and I'll never ever forget that day.
And and I'm not big boned.
Amra Pajalic (18:07):
You are not big boned, you're actually delicate
boned.
You take after your mother,you've got that delicate
Scottish, you know, bonestructure.
Yeah.
And um, and so I remember yousaying, Oh, it was actually I
was eating more.
I I eat so much.
Yeah.
I love it.
Veronica Ho (18:24):
And and I think that that's works in my favour
through my transitions, mydifferent transitions, um, is
that I love to eat.
Like I'll I'll eat.
So I had, I thought, oh mygosh, I'm not gonna be able to
eat much.
And of course, when it comes tolike the the last week or two,
depending on how much fat I haveto lose, that my calories are
(18:45):
cut back.
So go into a calorie deficit.
But now non-maintenance, I Ieat, I eat like four meals a
day.
Amra Pajalic (18:54):
But also you make your own sweets.
You used to make your ownchocolate.
Veronica Ho (18:58):
I did make my own chocolate.
Amra Pajalic (18:59):
You know, like this is this is all, you know,
like work that went into.
Veronica Ho (19:04):
And again, expensive.
It it, you know, with thetraining and so when it even now
with training it's expensive.
Um, but in the lead up tocompetitions, it's the food, the
training, the tanning, themakeup, the bikini, the shoes,
the posing practice, which whereI went for posing, she was
(19:25):
absolutely beautiful, but it'slike it's just not me.
So going through this processwas going against um everything
that I'm not.
Um, which was and and I'm goingback on stage next year um to
celebrate being 50.
Yes.
Um, so even the thought ofgoing back on stage next year is
(19:49):
still petrifying for me.
Um, I'll have to start thatprocess.
So just say it's in October,November end of season, I'll
have to start maybe, I don'tknow, in July.
Because now my body'sconditioned to where if I said
to my trainer, I want to, I wantto cut in three months, no
(20:14):
worries.
I I can have my abs in threemonths.
I don't have that now.
But but yeah, back to uh theprocess going against everything
that I am, like every everyounce of what I'm not, which
makes it really hard,challenging and rewarding at the
same time.
Amra Pajalic (20:29):
So, what's the transformation like?
How do you feel in yourself nowgoing having gone through this
and having learned to putyourself first?
Veronica Ho (20:38):
So training has taught me that it's not just
about training.
So um I'm stronger mentallythan I ever have been, I think.
Um you know, life is life.
We get throwing curveballs.
I've been throwing a few veryhard curveballs the last um few
(21:01):
months, um, as Alma very wellknows.
Um, and but you know, Icontinue to train because it's
my space, it's where I think.
Um, and when I train, I look atmyself and it's almost like
looking at another person.
Yeah.
Where training is my therapy.
And that's what it's become.
Amra Pajalic (21:23):
I also like all of the things that we've had
conversations about in being inthe gym with these big bros and
they try and steal your weightsand stuff.
Not gonna happen.
Veronica Ho (21:33):
Not gonna happen, or or I'll just get to a machine
or something like that, or mylittle bench space, and then
I'll get a tap on the shoulderafter I've wiped down
everything.
They may think I'm I'mfinishing, but I've got my bag
there.
And um, have you have youfinished?
Or oh you're just gettingstuck.
Amra Pajalic (21:51):
Yeah.
So there's like certainstrengths that you project.
Um, and like when we we weretalking earlier, like it's all
about um body image and it's notabout how we look, it's about
being healthy, but it's alsoabout what we tell our
daughters.
And so, you know, what's themessage that you're wanting to
give to your daughter and to allwomen out there?
Veronica Ho (22:14):
Um, just to not be afraid of um becoming the person
that you truly want to be.
Um just don't be afraid of it.
You're gonna get people thatdon't like it.
But if you're surrounded bypeople that truly love you and
accept you, which I'm extremelyblessed.
(22:37):
My circle is very small forgood reason.
Um just don't be afraid.
Just, you know, take that bigstep.
Don't be scared.
If you fail, or there's no suchthing as failing.
If it didn't work out thistime, give it a rest, go back
next time.
Um when I when I competed, likeeverything comes back to
(23:00):
competing.
But when I stepped on stagethree times, I didn't place
three times.
Um and it just it's just aboutgetting up there, going through
the process, looking at themlike it's a damn expensive
process.
And I keep saying that, but itit truly is.
Um and you know, an example, mymy last bikini was $600 just
(23:23):
for the bikini.
Amra Pajalic (23:24):
Yeah.
Veronica Ho (23:24):
And then everything else on top of that.
So it's a good, say, $3,000.
And I felt guilty aboutspending that money.
I pulled out, I I rememberpulling out of one the night
before.
The night before.
I remember pulling out and Imade the excuse of um, I don't
want to stick on stage because Iknow how much it's gonna cost
(23:44):
the next day.
But I'd already done the hardwork and paid for the bikini and
paid for everything.
I just, it was just an excuse.
Don't make excuses, my kids.
Because you look back and go,shoulda, coulda, shoulda,
coulda, but did it.
Amra Pajalic (23:59):
Yeah, and like also that that thing of, you
know, at this point in our livestaking those risks, and it's
more about um just trying, andit doesn't matter what the
result is, it's just the actualexperience.
Veronica Ho (24:11):
Yeah.
Amra Pajalic (24:12):
And and um, you know, that that freedom of then
trying for bigger things andthen, you know, and it is such a
struggle as a woman, especiallyum, you know, where we s we
spend all our lives sort ofthinking about other people.
And you more than me, forexample.
One of the conversations wehave is that I'm selfish, she is
(24:34):
selfless.
If we could give each other alittle bit of each, we would
make the perfect person.
Um so true.
And yeah, we're perfecttogether.
We're perfect together.
Um, yeah, we're actuallysoulmates.
We complement each otherperfectly.
Um, our husbands are justfellows we live with.
Um, you know, witnesses to ourlives.
(24:55):
Um, but yeah, it it's there isthat strength of of kind of you
would rather almost regrettrying something even if it
didn't work out than regret noteven.
Veronica Ho (25:07):
Yeah.
You know.
But I've I've got theconfidence more so now, even in
my perimenopause, periperi, Icall it.
Um in my perimenopause umjourney, I'm gonna say, I'm
really at that stage where, orat that moment in my life now
where, you know, um Amra hasyearned for me to be, I'm gonna
(25:31):
say, where I just don't, it'snot that I don't care, I still
do care deeply, but recognisingthat, you know, it is about me,
and I can say no, and I will sayno, and I have said no, which
is for anyone that knows meagain knows how hard that is.
Um, and there's nothing wrongwith saying no.
(25:52):
Say yes to those that love youand care for you.
You know, I've got everyone inmy life, if if I called them the
noise on the other side of theworld, I know that they'd be
there in a heartbeat, and viceversa.
I mean they're the only peopleI need in my life.
Um but in perimeter's I don'tknow what it is.
Amra Pajalic (26:14):
I know the freedom that it gives you where you
just shed things so much easier.
Veronica Ho (26:21):
But still so hard because you know, I I know for
me speaking personally, I'mfound this whole freedom of
saying no.
Like saying no is huge, huge.
Um, but also there is so muchthat happens in our lives that
we can't change.
Amra Pajalic (26:40):
No.
Veronica Ho (26:40):
So as much as I feel like um my inner person who
I'm supposed to be and heldback from being for so many
years is ready to break free.
But you know, there is so muchelse that's happening that I
have to, you know, parentsgetting older and um, you know,
(27:02):
things, things just happen whereyou've got to still be a big
person and carry on.
Amra Pajalic (27:09):
We could talk about how much we hate adulting
sometimes.
Adulting, it's it's hard.
It's really unpleasant.
Yeah, it is a can be reallyunpleasant.
We have to have so manyunpleasant things.
And we just have to kind ofkeep going.
And we're like, no, I just wantto stay under the duna and go
away.
But we can't.
(27:29):
And so we have theseconversations regularly about
adulting.
Veronica Ho (27:35):
Really?
Amra Pajalic (27:35):
Really?
Veronica Ho (27:36):
So unpleasant.
But you know, this is why mytraining is important to me,
because I can escape that in mytraining.
Amra Pajalic (27:42):
I put my headphones on and you know, my
certain face and bee face andoff I go.
And that's the thing, like I Ialways talk about for me,
writing is a necessity, likeoxygen.
And for me, if I I have towrite to be a good human being,
to be a good mother, to be umwhen I had parents, to be a good
(28:05):
daughter, to um, you know, be agood spouse.
And it it's that timeout, it'sthat feeling like myself and
being and doing what I feel likeI'm here for.
Correct.
And and that's the same withyou for training.
Veronica Ho (28:22):
Absolutely.
If I don't train for two orthree days, my husband will say,
You need to go to the gym.
Yeah.
Or my daughter will even say,Have you trained mommy?
Amra Pajalic (28:29):
Yeah.
And one of the things I sort ofwanted to pick up was what we
were talking about in terms ofum body image, the way that your
conversations have changed andwhat you talk about.
So you're not doing trainingfor weight.
What are you doing trainingfor?
Veronica Ho (28:46):
I'm doing training to purely survive my day-to-day
life.
Um yeah.
So and I'm also doing trainingbecause if you know if I do
decide to go back on stage,which would be next year, or or
I can just take on anything.
Like it it training just sets awhole new mindset.
(29:09):
For me.
A whole new mindset of youknow, as we as I've mentioned,
like there's been a couple ofthings that have happened in my
life recently where where I hadto um um resist.
Um yeah, just huge things.
(29:34):
Like training, the trainingkeeps me in routine.
Um it keeps me focused.
Where I am me, I'm working onme, um and where I can lose
myself.
Amra Pajalic (29:49):
And shut everything out.
And it's about that healthybody, um, a healthy spirit.
And it's not about theaesthetics, it's not about it.
Veronica Ho (30:00):
you know I do my little bit of training um and I
I was like a superstar at onepoint with people when I was
bragging I was like I can do 36push-ups not all in one go mind
you 12 reps each three times youknow but um you know and people
are like oh you can do thatmany percent on the earth I can
like I'm not gonna lie I I I dohave um fitness goals yes I you
(30:24):
know I do have fitness goals I Itrain for the lines now so I
train for the definition in thebig area I want to work on is
more definition in my glutes umwhich has not need a bit of
booty which has started um and Iwant more definition in my
shoulders which has started umso when I train I I I'm never
(30:47):
used to do this but I've justrecently started doing it I'll
look at myself and I'll go ohwow amazing whereas I never used
to do that no you used to avoidlooking at this I'm correct you
know it was it was a veryconfronting thing for you and on
the other hand I used to Ialways and still do love looking
at myself so not gonna lie it'sactually been like to get me
(31:11):
away from a mirror or to get meaway from reflective surfaces.
Amra Pajalic (31:14):
That has been my gloss um so again if we could
just a little touch there wouldbe yeah but at least we
influence each other in that wayto yeah and like also the thing
is it doesn't matter what sizeyou are because I'm now I'm
gonna make this joke.
This is a joke I could onlymake with her right I am now the
fat friend.
She's now the skinny friendthat used to be reverse for you
(31:38):
know um when we were teenagers.
But I don't care and like Idon't talk to my daughter about
losing weight.
I don't talk to her about umyou know how I look um I'm
completely free with my bodybecause the what I do in terms
of my little bit of training interms of you know every second
(32:01):
day going on the treadmill witha 10 kilo vest and weights on my
legs and doing um my you knowweight training that I do with
my 12 kilo weights um it's justabout my body.
It's about maintaining thephysicality of my body of my
bones and the strength of mybones.
And then there's things that Ido that you like using a protein
(32:24):
shake that she uses with thecreatine in it so that you know
for the body and and maintainingthe body and so um you know
like I've got more body fat onme and I I always will because
unless I actually start caringand putting more time into it
but I'm not really bothered.
And so it's a it's about thathealthy that healthy outlook
(32:48):
about feeling healthy.
Absolutely about feeling goodin who you are um and you know
it's not about size and I thinkI think the other thing is a lot
of women are now starting torealize like you know we now
know that at our age it's reallyimportant to do the weight
training for our muscles and forour bones.
Especially in perimenopauselike this is where where the
(33:12):
health comes into it.
Yeah well it has because I'm onlots of medication for lots of
different things.
Veronica Ho (33:24):
You are not yeah so I'm I'm I'm like medicated to
the eyeballs in terms of youknow blood pressure diabetes
it's funny because it's not yeahand uh I'm I'm also a whole man
replacement therapy and you areeverything is perfect it's
always yeah so except for ironexcept for iron yes um and
(33:45):
that's the joys also at peripercorrect um peri now you've got
me saying peri peri period it'sgonna be peri period it's that
bit of spice yeah that is spicethat bit of spice in life and
also it's got a bit of a bite itdoes yeah I love the bite that
I've got now I never used tohave but I always had the bite
(34:05):
but in my head so I'd have thebite in my head having the
conversations in my head nowthose bites are coming out not
not in a nasty way as you knowbecause that's not my nature um
but I just can't be bothered.
Amra Pajalic (34:19):
I think I'm just a big though and that's the joy
that's that's the joy because II mean my problem is I've been
too confrontational.
So for me finding that balanceof not constantly biting um so
but it's also like where it'slike okay I'll I'll put a bit of
energy there um and take thepressure off and deal with it
(34:39):
but knowing that sometimes it'snot worth it you know good day
good day good day yeah it reallyit really helps um so I think I
just wanted to see you know anylast words on the power of
weightlifting for wellbeing andjoy?
Veronica Ho (34:56):
Um power of weightlifting of wellbeing and
joy is that just keep going likeyou there are days so many days
where I just cannot bebothered.
It's like really now mydaughter says to me Mum like now
I've changed from three days tofive days of training which I
promised myself I would do but Ikept the promise to myself and
(35:16):
it's really important just tounderstand and to have your
reason why if your reason is tolose 20 kilos in three months
that's not going to happen.
Make your reason realistic umbecause if it's not you will
probably put the weight back onagain.
You will feel like a failureand just make it realistic and
(35:42):
and and make it about you.
It has to be about you and noone else and for no one else's
purpose.
Aren't you right?
Amra Pajalic (35:51):
Yeah and I think that's sometimes when people get
into uh for aesthetics and forother people looking at them um
because even though you mightlook a certain way it's your
brain you're still the sameperson inside.
Veronica Ho (36:04):
Of course and that's you know it just has to
be for your own right reasons.
I that that I'm still that 16year old person inside at times
and I'm going to be 50 nextyear.
Like and and that's it's just aa constant journey that I'm on.
And I thought if I lose youknow I think I lost almost 60
kilos at one point um when I wasat my extreme lowest weight and
(36:27):
then I thought how how come mylife hasn't changed.
Amra Pajalic (36:29):
Yes that was like me I had a nose job when I was
17 and I thought oh my life it'sgonna be magical and wonderful
and got out of the hospital andI'm like it's the same same life
same life and you're like butbut this was supposed to change
everything.
Veronica Ho (36:46):
It doesn't no because but the journey makes
you stronger like the thejourney is is so empowering.
Yeah so empowering.
Amra Pajalic (36:54):
And I think also that that thing about routines
where when you have theseroutines and you commit to
making yourself the priority itit just kind of settles
everything because when you arestruggling to achieve if you're
achieving this goal where you'veset a goal in terms of like for
me, you know, the the thelittle exercise goals that I've
got um achieving those meansthat then I can go on to the
(37:17):
next thing.
Correct and achieve that.
Correct.
And so it it really is aboutthat mental strength and and
finding putting boundaries inputting boundaries in that other
people go, uh-huh she'sserious.
She's serious about this sheain't mucking around yeah yeah
because um you have got a lot ofpeople who rely on you and are
(37:40):
used to you being veryavailable.
Correct um and so that's been abig transition to correct yeah
putting those boundaries aroundwell thank you so much for um
coming in and talking about youramazing transformation and
about body and mind and fitnessI hope you enjoyed this episode.
(38:02):
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning intoAmra's armchair anecdotes if you
enjoyed today's episode don'tforget to subscribe and follow
for more inside stories andinspiration.
From my armchair to yoursremember every story begins with
a single word
Welcome to Amora's Armchair Anecdotes.
I'm Amber PyLH, writer,teacher, and storyteller.
Pull up a chair and let's diveinto stories about writing,
life, and lessons learned.
Sharing wisdom from my armchairto yours.
You can find the episode shownotes, your free episode
(00:22):
handouts, and my how to guide atamrapilot.com slash monica.
And now it's time to die.
Welcome to Abra's armchairanecdotes.
Today I'm here with VeronicaHo, who is my best friend of 30
years.
She was a nurse for 20 yearsand she now works as a case
(00:43):
manager in supporting NDISclients, specialising in
disability.
Today she's here to talk abouther transition into
weightlifting as a way offinding well-being and joy.
Thank you, Veronica.
Thank you, Anna.
So um I just wanted to sort ofstart with the great passion of
your life is weightlifting, andthis has led you on a journey of
(01:04):
transformation.
So can you tell the audienceabout you as a teenager and your
body image at the time?
Veronica Ho (01:11):
So, as a teenager, I was always the tubby one.
Um not a lot of confidence atall.
I was always the person walkingwith their head down.
Um, kind of, well, not kind ofthe person.
I I perceive myself to be as aperson that was lost in the
crowd.
In the back corner.
(01:32):
Um, not I so I I wasn'tconfident in speaking to people.
So it's taken to me beingalmost 50 to build that
confidence, to keep my head uphigh and and and to put myself
in situations where I have totake a deep breath in and um be
big, be a big girl and go andhave conversations with people
(01:55):
that I wouldn't normally have.
But I was I was always thatperson in the background,
wearing black all the time.
Um, so I just fade into thebackground.
Amra Pajalic (02:05):
Yeah, and you but you also kind of attracted
people to you because you wereso um silent and so kind of
reserved, but you're quitewelcoming still, and people
would really approach you andtell you things.
And one of the things Iremember is that you were so
self-possessed as a teenagerwhere you were one of the rare
(02:26):
people who knew how to keeppeople's privacy.
So you kind of became theconfidant for a lot of people
and carried a lot of weightthere.
Veronica Ho (02:34):
I did, um, and I still find that today.
Um I guess that just comes fromhaving my own issues and my own
as a and my um own I'm gonnasay demons.
Um and I know how important itis to keep that that um uh
(03:02):
secret, I guess.
Amra Pajalic (03:03):
Yeah, and and to sort of help support people in
that way.
Veronica Ho (03:08):
Correct, and to understand how it is, how
important it is to other peopleto have a safe space.
Amra Pajalic (03:13):
Yeah, and that's something that really comes
through now in the job thatyou're doing, um, and also as a
nurse.
And so you are now a littlemiss weightlifter, um, and
you've even um competed.
So can you talk through how howall that happened and how the
transitions and changes?
Veronica Ho (03:32):
So the weightlifting and the um
decision to go on stage was um II remember being in a change
room when I was this goes backto when I was about 16, and I
remember being in a change roomand looking at myself, and I was
I couldn't fit into a size 18,and I remember looking at myself
and thinking, this this can'tbe, this isn't me, something has
(03:54):
to change.
Um and I always had a vision ofmyself of um not being that
person anymore.
Um, after having my daughter,who's now 16.
Um I thought I have to be aperson she looks up to, not
necessarily to look or notnecessarily to look skinny or
(04:20):
look a certain way, but to teachher that that, you know,
anything's possible if you putyour mind to it.
Um it's a very scary processfor someone that isn't
confident, for someone that umtook a long time to believe in
herself.
Um it's it's a really, reallyscary journey and continues to
(04:41):
be a really scary journey.
Amra Pajalic (04:43):
Well, let's just contextualise this for the
audience.
So you do weight training.
Tell us some of your stats interms of the weights that you
can do.
Veronica Ho (04:51):
Okay, so I the heaviest of leg pressed is 200
kilos.
That's the heaviest of legpressed.
Um shoulder press, the heaviestis 12 and a half kilos because
now I have lots of nickels andwhatnot.
Um, but I work around that withmy trainer.
Um I can do a leg extension of20 kilos on each leg, depending
(05:13):
on the weight my knees holdingup on the day.
Um and the heaviest dog deadlifted, I think, was 110 kilos.
And that's over a duration oflike four or five years of
serious training.
I haven't lifted that in thelast two weeks or anything.
They're just the biggestnumbers that I've lifted.
Amra Pajalic (05:32):
And also in terms of like the stats um with your
weight trainer, looks at yourbody fat composition and stuff
like that.
So what what's that about?
Veronica Ho (05:41):
So body composition, so the lowest, so
when I'm when I've been onstage, I think last body fat
percentage was I believe it wasuh seven or nine percent.
And and that's a bigdifference.
Seven and nine percent is a bigdifference.
Uh so let's just say eight, um,which isn't healthy.
(06:01):
So when I come off stage, I I'dgo into a different training
regime to put on the weight,correctly.
Um, and uh to put it in termsof size, maybe a size six, and
then I'll go up to a comfortablesize 10, um uh, which is what I
am now.
And yeah, and in terms ofkilos, so now I'm sitting at the
(06:29):
heaviest I've ever been, to behonest, which is 68 kilos.
The heaviest I've ever beenweight training is 68 kilos.
Well, when I hit stage, I'mabout 55, 60 kilos.
And all of that is muscle.
All of that is pure musclestage.
Amra Pajalic (06:45):
And just can you contextualise like the food and
the eating and all of the thingsthat go into this?
Because you're now at thispoint where you have this
amazing body that is beautifullysculpted and you know, just
stunning and I'm booty that Ijust love staring at, like
(07:06):
always, right?
And so you've got this amazingbody, and so um, but one of the
things that happens is you havepeople looking at you and going,
oh my god, and how do I dothat?
And they don't reallyunderstand the discipline and
the work that's going into it.
So, can you talk us throughlike your eating regime, your
training regime, all of thesethings that, you know, to be
(07:31):
where you are at and to do whatyou are doing, what does it
take?
Veronica Ho (07:36):
Um it takes being very selfish with your time.
Um the easiest part of gettingor being fit and healthy and
getting on stage and all of it.
All of it is is being selfishand making time.
(07:56):
The hardest part of it all isnot the eating, the hardest part
is um sorry, the the hardestpart is the preparation, the
easy part is training.
So, and also the hardest partis is that selfish of
selfishness of going or sayingto yourself, no, I'm going to
(08:16):
stop.
So I like I remember, I'll giveyou an example.
I'll remember we were movinghouse from housing sunshine, and
we were packing boxes, and Ihad boxes all around me, and
this is in my very first stages.
And I'm like, no, I don't I'vegot a train, so I had to work
on, I'm losing my body fatbefore working on my muscle.
(08:37):
So, and I remember with allthese boxes around me, we were
moving house.
I'm like, I know I said I wasgonna leave the house at two
o'clock to go and do mytraining, and I just left
everything.
My husband was home, and I saidto her, I've got to go where
you're going myself.
I've got to go train.
At two o'clock, I told you I'mgoing to train.
And that's that is the hardestpart to just drop everything and
(09:01):
to stick to your regime and tostay truly self.
And and the shopping, like it'sexpensive.
It gets really expensivebecause I'm shopping for my own
um nutrition and then plus formy family as well.
And that it can get really,really expensive.
Um, so and also um foodpreparation.
(09:26):
But you've got to take over thefridge.
Amra Pajalic (09:29):
Yeah, because you do your food prep, you do all of
your meals correct for a fewdays at a time.
Correct.
Protein every day, weighing.
Veronica Ho (09:36):
Weighing.
So we'll buy like because myhusband does it now also.
So we'll buy two or three kilosof our protein at a time, and
then get it home, put it infreezer bags, weigh it, put it
in the freezer bags, and then,you know, and it's all weighing.
It's it's just all weighing in.
But now I can do, I can do likethree days of food prepping and
(10:00):
two hours.
Because it's something thatyou'd be doing for the few
years.
Yeah, and it's just it's secondnature, and I can look at an
amount of food and go, yeah,that'll be that, right?
And I can chuck it all in.
Amra Pajalic (10:10):
So one of the things that I really sort of
wanted to discuss um with you,because you know, you are a
person who can really get insidethis, is that transformation
from that big, you know, girlwith low self-esteem, putting
yourself first now, putting yourneeds first, and this is what
(10:32):
your salvation also, becauseyou've got, as most of us, a lot
of pressure, a lot of uhresponsibilities.
So how does that transitionhappen?
Because, you know, there theylike I went through the opposite
where I was like the skinnymini.
Um, and now I am, you know, asize 16 and I'm fine.
(10:52):
I die, I'm not willing to dothe work that you do in order
to, you know, do the body, but Ido do weight training and try
and do a little bit with thediet and stuff.
Um and for me it's been a bigtransformation going from an
easy size eight where I neverhad to do anything to suddenly
whatever I eat sticks to thehips and my thighs and my
(11:13):
stomach, and going, oh.
And I still sometimes catchmyself in the mirror where I'm
like, oh, I'm I'm that round.
I still have that image in myhead of me from you know 18
years old.
Um, and for you it's theopposite.
Veronica Ho (11:29):
Well, I I still have that image of the 100 kilo
teenage girl.
Um and uh, you know, people go,Oh, you said good body, this,
that, and you know, but you lookso fit.
And and sometimes I do look inthe mirror and go, oh wow, I do
look quite fit, but as peopleclose to me know, I don't dress.
(11:53):
I I I don't I don't dress toshow off my body.
Um, I'm not used to attentionand I don't love myself or
anything.
I'm very proud of how far I'vecome.
Um I'm not going to deny thatis bloody hard work.
Um but I don't like to drawattention to myself it either.
So I still do sometimes feellike that 100 kilo girl that
(12:19):
still has to remind herself toto you know head up.
You know, stand with your headup or walk with your head up,
because I will still sometimescatch myself walking with my
head down and I I correct my16-year-old daughter on popping
your head up.
Which is really hard to do.
Amra Pajalic (12:37):
And have there been because uh we've we've had
these conversations aboutreactions where sometimes people
are kind of threatened or theysort of have these conversations
where they're looking at youand they're somehow judging
themselves against you in anegative way.
How has that been?
Veronica Ho (12:57):
Um confronting for me because I've I've never been
I don't know how to put thisright, but I've I've never been
a person to, I mean, we alljudge them on my own, right,
Rodney King.
Hey, it's it's my homie.
It's my hobby.
I mean, you know, I'm not gonnadeny that idea.
(13:17):
Um again, because we'rethinking um but I've never been
one to take a compliment world.
Um I've so when someone reactsto me, I'm like, Well my
thought.
Like it's it's my hard work.
Um sometimes I get it,sometimes I don't.
(13:41):
Um and I think sometimes I'llbecome oblivious to it.
But there there have been acouple of times where um like I
I give up a vibe as well.
So I I give up a vibe where I Idon't want attention, so I tend
to make a certain face wherewhere people kind of stay away
(14:04):
from me, which I think I doquite well, which which
sometimes doesn't um uh do verywell for myself.
But um yeah, there have been afew times where I've I've been
confronted with um um aperception of of what people
(14:28):
think of me.
Amra Pajalic (14:29):
Yes, where they're seeing this outer, beautiful,
sculpted body, um, and they'rereacting to you on that
superficial level, and you'relike still the 100 kilo big
girl.
Veronica Ho (14:44):
Um, and you know, we've had these conversations
where you're like perplexed andbewildered, and now you sort of
start avoiding some of thatwhere you've been dressing to
not draw so much attention toand and and you know, sometimes
my husband like keeps saying,You're right to wear that dress
because he looks so nice, or youcan, you know, this is defining
(15:05):
or that's defining, and I'mgoing, yeah, no, you know, I'm
not gonna wear that.
Um, you know, remember thefirst time I wore a bikini,
because Anna was a bikini girl.
I would wear a bikini with abig t-shirt over it.
Yeah.
Um the first time I wore abikini was when I went on stage.
(15:26):
Um it was a real bikini and shewas amazing.
Without even thinking that itwas the first time.
Like I remember being on theside of the stage almost in
tears, thinking, oh my gosh, I Ican't do this.
Um and I um I I somethingchoked up in my throat and I had
to swallow down.
(15:47):
And then I saw this of mydaughter with a little sign
going, Mummy, you can do it.
I'm like, oh God, I've got I'vegot to get up there, I've got
to get up there.
And I was like a dear inheadlights.
I I actually didn't enjoy beingup on stage, but I went back
and did it another two times.
Um, and it was just to prove tomyself, like I wish I I can do
(16:07):
this, I'm gonna do this again.
Amra Pajalic (16:09):
And this is something that you did do in
your 40s.
This is not something that youdid like in your 20s or 30s.
I think this was your 40s.
Correct.
And so, you know what, talk methrough why you wouldn't be able
to have done it in your 20s oryour 30s, why in your 40s you
could do it?
Veronica Ho (16:23):
I'm going to walk through, prove in my forties.
Again, coming back to mydaughter, um, to prove to her,
like I now say to her, um, ifshe feels as though she can't do
anything, I I don't say, lookat what, look at what mummy did,
I got up on stage.
It's just that, you know,getting up on stage though is a
(16:45):
process.
It's it's the diet, it's thetraining twice a day sometimes.
Um, it's following routine,it's saying no to people, it's
going out to people's houses,which I think people loved about
me, like, I'll bring my ownfood.
No, I'll bring my own food.
Amra Pajalic (17:01):
Yeah.
Won't eat anything at anyone'shouse.
Yeah.
Don't bother offering.
She's got her little containerssorted.
Veronica Ho (17:08):
But you know, coming back to what you said
about um uh about beingconfronted with people, like
that that's probably a time whenwhere I had to explain myself
to people.
So I'd go to people's houseslike, just have a little bit, a
little bit when just have alittle bit.
No, no, it's fine.
And then I realised that that'sthat's them projecting.
(17:31):
Because I think a lot of peopledidn't think that I could do
it, which was more reason for meto do it.
Amra Pajalic (17:36):
Yeah, well, even I remember when you were talking
about um after you lost yourweight, uh, because we had this
thing that we were like, you'rebig bone, you're big bone.
Veronica Ho (17:44):
Big bone.
I grew up being told, don'tyou, you're big bone.
I remember saying to my uncleonce, he said, Oh, you're just
big bone, and am I allowed tosweat?
Um no, I'm not too.
No, and I'm like, I'm not, no,I'm not.
I'm just you know, f bomb fat.
And then he kind of put hishead down.
Amra Pajalic (18:03):
Yeah.
Veronica Ho (18:03):
Um, and I'll never ever forget that day.
And and I'm not big boned.
Amra Pajalic (18:07):
You are not big boned, you're actually delicate
boned.
You take after your mother,you've got that delicate
Scottish, you know, bonestructure.
Yeah.
And um, and so I remember yousaying, Oh, it was actually I
was eating more.
I I eat so much.
Yeah.
I love it.
Veronica Ho (18:24):
And and I think that that's works in my favour
through my transitions, mydifferent transitions, um, is
that I love to eat.
Like I'll I'll eat.
So I had, I thought, oh mygosh, I'm not gonna be able to
eat much.
And of course, when it comes tolike the the last week or two,
depending on how much fat I haveto lose, that my calories are
(18:45):
cut back.
So go into a calorie deficit.
But now non-maintenance, I Ieat, I eat like four meals a
day.
Amra Pajalic (18:54):
But also you make your own sweets.
You used to make your ownchocolate.
Veronica Ho (18:58):
I did make my own chocolate.
Amra Pajalic (18:59):
You know, like this is this is all, you know,
like work that went into.
Veronica Ho (19:04):
And again, expensive.
It it, you know, with thetraining and so when it even now
with training it's expensive.
Um, but in the lead up tocompetitions, it's the food, the
training, the tanning, themakeup, the bikini, the shoes,
the posing practice, which whereI went for posing, she was
(19:25):
absolutely beautiful, but it'slike it's just not me.
So going through this processwas going against um everything
that I'm not.
Um, which was and and I'm goingback on stage next year um to
celebrate being 50.
Yes.
Um, so even the thought ofgoing back on stage next year is
(19:49):
still petrifying for me.
Um, I'll have to start thatprocess.
So just say it's in October,November end of season, I'll
have to start maybe, I don'tknow, in July.
Because now my body'sconditioned to where if I said
to my trainer, I want to, I wantto cut in three months, no
(20:14):
worries.
I I can have my abs in threemonths.
I don't have that now.
But but yeah, back to uh theprocess going against everything
that I am, like every everyounce of what I'm not, which
makes it really hard,challenging and rewarding at the
same time.
Amra Pajalic (20:29):
So, what's the transformation like?
How do you feel in yourself nowgoing having gone through this
and having learned to putyourself first?
Veronica Ho (20:38):
So training has taught me that it's not just
about training.
So um I'm stronger mentallythan I ever have been, I think.
Um you know, life is life.
We get throwing curveballs.
I've been throwing a few veryhard curveballs the last um few
(21:01):
months, um, as Alma very wellknows.
Um, and but you know, Icontinue to train because it's
my space, it's where I think.
Um, and when I train, I look atmyself and it's almost like
looking at another person.
Yeah.
Where training is my therapy.
And that's what it's become.
Amra Pajalic (21:23):
I also like all of the things that we've had
conversations about in being inthe gym with these big bros and
they try and steal your weightsand stuff.
Not gonna happen.
Veronica Ho (21:33):
Not gonna happen, or or I'll just get to a machine
or something like that, or mylittle bench space, and then
I'll get a tap on the shoulderafter I've wiped down
everything.
They may think I'm I'mfinishing, but I've got my bag
there.
And um, have you have youfinished?
Or oh you're just gettingstuck.
Amra Pajalic (21:51):
Yeah.
So there's like certainstrengths that you project.
Um, and like when we we weretalking earlier, like it's all
about um body image and it's notabout how we look, it's about
being healthy, but it's alsoabout what we tell our
daughters.
And so, you know, what's themessage that you're wanting to
give to your daughter and to allwomen out there?
Veronica Ho (22:14):
Um, just to not be afraid of um becoming the person
that you truly want to be.
Um just don't be afraid of it.
You're gonna get people thatdon't like it.
But if you're surrounded bypeople that truly love you and
accept you, which I'm extremelyblessed.
(22:37):
My circle is very small forgood reason.
Um just don't be afraid.
Just, you know, take that bigstep.
Don't be scared.
If you fail, or there's no suchthing as failing.
If it didn't work out thistime, give it a rest, go back
next time.
Um when I when I competed, likeeverything comes back to
(23:00):
competing.
But when I stepped on stagethree times, I didn't place
three times.
Um and it just it's just aboutgetting up there, going through
the process, looking at themlike it's a damn expensive
process.
And I keep saying that, but itit truly is.
Um and you know, an example, mymy last bikini was $600 just
(23:23):
for the bikini.
Amra Pajalic (23:24):
Yeah.
Veronica Ho (23:24):
And then everything else on top of that.
So it's a good, say, $3,000.
And I felt guilty aboutspending that money.
I pulled out, I I rememberpulling out of one the night
before.
The night before.
I remember pulling out and Imade the excuse of um, I don't
want to stick on stage because Iknow how much it's gonna cost
(23:44):
the next day.
But I'd already done the hardwork and paid for the bikini and
paid for everything.
I just, it was just an excuse.
Don't make excuses, my kids.
Because you look back and go,shoulda, coulda, shoulda,
coulda, but did it.
Amra Pajalic (23:59):
Yeah, and like also that that thing of, you
know, at this point in our livestaking those risks, and it's
more about um just trying, andit doesn't matter what the
result is, it's just the actualexperience.
Veronica Ho (24:11):
Yeah.
Amra Pajalic (24:12):
And and um, you know, that that freedom of then
trying for bigger things andthen, you know, and it is such a
struggle as a woman, especiallyum, you know, where we s we
spend all our lives sort ofthinking about other people.
And you more than me, forexample.
One of the conversations wehave is that I'm selfish, she is
(24:34):
selfless.
If we could give each other alittle bit of each, we would
make the perfect person.
Um so true.
And yeah, we're perfecttogether.
We're perfect together.
Um, yeah, we're actuallysoulmates.
We complement each otherperfectly.
Um, our husbands are justfellows we live with.
Um, you know, witnesses to ourlives.
(24:55):
Um, but yeah, it it's there isthat strength of of kind of you
would rather almost regrettrying something even if it
didn't work out than regret noteven.
Veronica Ho (25:07):
Yeah.
You know.
But I've I've got theconfidence more so now, even in
my perimenopause, periperi, Icall it.
Um in my perimenopause umjourney, I'm gonna say, I'm
really at that stage where, orat that moment in my life now
where, you know, um Amra hasyearned for me to be, I'm gonna
(25:31):
say, where I just don't, it'snot that I don't care, I still
do care deeply, but recognisingthat, you know, it is about me,
and I can say no, and I will sayno, and I have said no, which
is for anyone that knows meagain knows how hard that is.
Um, and there's nothing wrongwith saying no.
(25:52):
Say yes to those that love youand care for you.
You know, I've got everyone inmy life, if if I called them the
noise on the other side of theworld, I know that they'd be
there in a heartbeat, and viceversa.
I mean they're the only peopleI need in my life.
Um but in perimeter's I don'tknow what it is.
Amra Pajalic (26:14):
I know the freedom that it gives you where you
just shed things so much easier.
Veronica Ho (26:21):
But still so hard because you know, I I know for
me speaking personally, I'mfound this whole freedom of
saying no.
Like saying no is huge, huge.
Um, but also there is so muchthat happens in our lives that
we can't change.
Amra Pajalic (26:40):
No.
Veronica Ho (26:40):
So as much as I feel like um my inner person who
I'm supposed to be and heldback from being for so many
years is ready to break free.
But you know, there is so muchelse that's happening that I
have to, you know, parentsgetting older and um, you know,
(27:02):
things, things just happen whereyou've got to still be a big
person and carry on.
Amra Pajalic (27:09):
We could talk about how much we hate adulting
sometimes.
Adulting, it's it's hard.
It's really unpleasant.
Yeah, it is a can be reallyunpleasant.
We have to have so manyunpleasant things.
And we just have to kind ofkeep going.
And we're like, no, I just wantto stay under the duna and go
away.
But we can't.
(27:29):
And so we have theseconversations regularly about
adulting.
Veronica Ho (27:35):
Really?
Amra Pajalic (27:35):
Really?
Veronica Ho (27:36):
So unpleasant.
But you know, this is why mytraining is important to me,
because I can escape that in mytraining.
Amra Pajalic (27:42):
I put my headphones on and you know, my
certain face and bee face andoff I go.
And that's the thing, like I Ialways talk about for me,
writing is a necessity, likeoxygen.
And for me, if I I have towrite to be a good human being,
to be a good mother, to be umwhen I had parents, to be a good
(28:05):
daughter, to um, you know, be agood spouse.
And it it's that timeout, it'sthat feeling like myself and
being and doing what I feel likeI'm here for.
Correct.
And and that's the same withyou for training.
Veronica Ho (28:22):
Absolutely.
If I don't train for two orthree days, my husband will say,
You need to go to the gym.
Yeah.
Or my daughter will even say,Have you trained mommy?
Amra Pajalic (28:29):
Yeah.
And one of the things I sort ofwanted to pick up was what we
were talking about in terms ofum body image, the way that your
conversations have changed andwhat you talk about.
So you're not doing trainingfor weight.
What are you doing trainingfor?
Veronica Ho (28:46):
I'm doing training to purely survive my day-to-day
life.
Um yeah.
So and I'm also doing trainingbecause if you know if I do
decide to go back on stage,which would be next year, or or
I can just take on anything.
Like it it training just sets awhole new mindset.
(29:09):
For me.
A whole new mindset of youknow, as we as I've mentioned,
like there's been a couple ofthings that have happened in my
life recently where where I hadto um um resist.
Um yeah, just huge things.
(29:34):
Like training, the trainingkeeps me in routine.
Um it keeps me focused.
Where I am me, I'm working onme, um and where I can lose
myself.
Amra Pajalic (29:49):
And shut everything out.
And it's about that healthybody, um, a healthy spirit.
And it's not about theaesthetics, it's not about it.
Veronica Ho (30:00):
you know I do my little bit of training um and I
I was like a superstar at onepoint with people when I was
bragging I was like I can do 36push-ups not all in one go mind
you 12 reps each three times youknow but um you know and people
are like oh you can do thatmany percent on the earth I can
like I'm not gonna lie I I I dohave um fitness goals yes I you
(30:24):
know I do have fitness goals I Itrain for the lines now so I
train for the definition in thebig area I want to work on is
more definition in my glutes umwhich has not need a bit of
booty which has started um and Iwant more definition in my
shoulders which has started umso when I train I I I'm never
(30:47):
used to do this but I've justrecently started doing it I'll
look at myself and I'll go ohwow amazing whereas I never used
to do that no you used to avoidlooking at this I'm correct you
know it was it was a veryconfronting thing for you and on
the other hand I used to Ialways and still do love looking
at myself so not gonna lie it'sactually been like to get me
(31:11):
away from a mirror or to get meaway from reflective surfaces.
Amra Pajalic (31:14):
That has been my gloss um so again if we could
just a little touch there wouldbe yeah but at least we
influence each other in that wayto yeah and like also the thing
is it doesn't matter what sizeyou are because I'm now I'm
gonna make this joke.
This is a joke I could onlymake with her right I am now the
fat friend.
She's now the skinny friendthat used to be reverse for you
(31:38):
know um when we were teenagers.
But I don't care and like Idon't talk to my daughter about
losing weight.
I don't talk to her about umyou know how I look um I'm
completely free with my bodybecause the what I do in terms
of my little bit of training interms of you know every second
(32:01):
day going on the treadmill witha 10 kilo vest and weights on my
legs and doing um my you knowweight training that I do with
my 12 kilo weights um it's justabout my body.
It's about maintaining thephysicality of my body of my
bones and the strength of mybones.
And then there's things that Ido that you like using a protein
(32:24):
shake that she uses with thecreatine in it so that you know
for the body and and maintainingthe body and so um you know
like I've got more body fat onme and I I always will because
unless I actually start caringand putting more time into it
but I'm not really bothered.
And so it's a it's about thathealthy that healthy outlook
(32:48):
about feeling healthy.
Absolutely about feeling goodin who you are um and you know
it's not about size and I thinkI think the other thing is a lot
of women are now starting torealize like you know we now
know that at our age it's reallyimportant to do the weight
training for our muscles and forour bones.
Especially in perimenopauselike this is where where the
(33:12):
health comes into it.
Yeah well it has because I'm onlots of medication for lots of
different things.
Veronica Ho (33:24):
You are not yeah so I'm I'm I'm like medicated to
the eyeballs in terms of youknow blood pressure diabetes
it's funny because it's not yeahand uh I'm I'm also a whole man
replacement therapy and you areeverything is perfect it's
always yeah so except for ironexcept for iron yes um and
(33:45):
that's the joys also at peripercorrect um peri now you've got
me saying peri peri period it'sgonna be peri period it's that
bit of spice yeah that is spicethat bit of spice in life and
also it's got a bit of a bite itdoes yeah I love the bite that
I've got now I never used tohave but I always had the bite
(34:05):
but in my head so I'd have thebite in my head having the
conversations in my head nowthose bites are coming out not
not in a nasty way as you knowbecause that's not my nature um
but I just can't be bothered.
Amra Pajalic (34:19):
I think I'm just a big though and that's the joy
that's that's the joy because II mean my problem is I've been
too confrontational.
So for me finding that balanceof not constantly biting um so
but it's also like where it'slike okay I'll I'll put a bit of
energy there um and take thepressure off and deal with it
(34:39):
but knowing that sometimes it'snot worth it you know good day
good day good day yeah it reallyit really helps um so I think I
just wanted to see you know anylast words on the power of
weightlifting for wellbeing andjoy?
Veronica Ho (34:56):
Um power of weightlifting of wellbeing and
joy is that just keep going likeyou there are days so many days
where I just cannot bebothered.
It's like really now mydaughter says to me Mum like now
I've changed from three days tofive days of training which I
promised myself I would do but Ikept the promise to myself and
(35:16):
it's really important just tounderstand and to have your
reason why if your reason is tolose 20 kilos in three months
that's not going to happen.
Make your reason realistic umbecause if it's not you will
probably put the weight back onagain.
You will feel like a failureand just make it realistic and
(35:42):
and and make it about you.
It has to be about you and noone else and for no one else's
purpose.
Aren't you right?
Amra Pajalic (35:51):
Yeah and I think that's sometimes when people get
into uh for aesthetics and forother people looking at them um
because even though you mightlook a certain way it's your
brain you're still the sameperson inside.
Veronica Ho (36:04):
Of course and that's you know it just has to
be for your own right reasons.
I that that I'm still that 16year old person inside at times
and I'm going to be 50 nextyear.
Like and and that's it's just aa constant journey that I'm on.
And I thought if I lose youknow I think I lost almost 60
kilos at one point um when I wasat my extreme lowest weight and
(36:27):
then I thought how how come mylife hasn't changed.
Amra Pajalic (36:29):
Yes that was like me I had a nose job when I was
17 and I thought oh my life it'sgonna be magical and wonderful
and got out of the hospital andI'm like it's the same same life
same life and you're like butbut this was supposed to change
everything.
Veronica Ho (36:46):
It doesn't no because but the journey makes
you stronger like the thejourney is is so empowering.
Yeah so empowering.
Amra Pajalic (36:54):
And I think also that that thing about routines
where when you have theseroutines and you commit to
making yourself the priority itit just kind of settles
everything because when you arestruggling to achieve if you're
achieving this goal where you'veset a goal in terms of like for
me, you know, the the thelittle exercise goals that I've
got um achieving those meansthat then I can go on to the
(37:17):
next thing.
Correct and achieve that.
Correct.
And so it it really is aboutthat mental strength and and
finding putting boundaries inputting boundaries in that other
people go, uh-huh she'sserious.
She's serious about this sheain't mucking around yeah yeah
because um you have got a lot ofpeople who rely on you and are
(37:40):
used to you being veryavailable.
Correct um and so that's been abig transition to correct yeah
putting those boundaries aroundwell thank you so much for um
coming in and talking about youramazing transformation and
about body and mind and fitnessI hope you enjoyed this episode.
(38:02):
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning intoAmra's armchair anecdotes if you
enjoyed today's episode don'tforget to subscribe and follow
for more inside stories andinspiration.
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