A Billionaire Walks Into A Bar With A Pickup Line

TALK TO ME, TEXT IT

Ever hit record, pour your heart out, and realize nothing saved? That false start set the tone for a candid ride: a restorative week at Orange Beach, the joy of doing nothing but watching waves, and a shockingly great condo shower that doubled as a mini spa. From there, we pivot into a promise I’m making to myself—one full year to get strong and healthy before turning 60. No more snack runs that “don’t count.” No more treat math. Just clear choices, better routines, and the energy that comes from keeping a promise to your future self.

We also talk about connection in the real world. I finally met Laura IRL, and it felt like sitting with an old friend—proof that the best conversations don’t need filters or algorithms. That contrast made the political circus feel even louder. I share why I’m weary of self-congratulatory sound bites and cheap shots, and why disagreement doesn’t have to become cruelty. Holding leaders to a standard isn’t disloyalty; it’s the point.

Then we wade into dating and parenting debates that set the internet on fire. A billionaire’s “May I meet you” pickup line gets graded against honest, human openers that actually work. Spoiler: clear, kind, and specific beats canned charm every time. And yes, we tackle the diaper-consent controversy. Respecting kids matters; so do practical boundaries and timely care. Narration can teach without theater. We wrap it all with a lighter lift—crowning the greatest rock band—and I cast my vote for AC/DC with zero hesitation.

If you’re craving a nudge to reset your habits, laugh at the week’s wild takes, and rethink how agency shows up in everyday life—from dates to diapers—this one’s for you. Hit follow, share with a friend who needs a fresh start, and drop your pick for the greatest rock band of all time. Your turn.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Well, hello, good morning, happy Tuesday, y'all.
I'm back from vacation.
Yesterday I pulled up extraearly at work to start my
podcast because I knew I had alot to talk about.
And I pushed record on my voiceapp and I talked and I talked
and I caught you up oneverything.
Talked for a good 20 minutes andI went to go turn off the voice

(00:36):
memo app and guess what?
It did not record.
What the hell?
Okay, I don't know what washappening.
I guess uh the universe justdidn't want me to put out an
episode yesterday.
Not that I'm that importantbecause I'm not, obviously.
Little black, little blade ofgrass.
That's all I am.
That's all we all are, right?
Unless you're Donald Trump orhis administration, then you're

(00:58):
big oaks.
Okay, I don't even know wherethat came from.
Alright, vacation.
We went to Orange Beach for awhole week from Saturday to
Saturday.
Oh my gosh, it was wonderful.
Just sat two of the days werecold, so we didn't go down to
the beach that day.
Now the gent and I, when we goto the beach, we like to
actually go to the beach and sitthere and do nothing.

(01:22):
We'll talk to each other, we'llread a book.
I've never nodded off on thebeach that I know.
I've not fallen asleep, nottaking a nap or anything.
But I just sit there and watchthe waves roll in onto the shore
of the Gulf of America.
It was fantastic.
The weather was perfect, exceptfor those two days.

(01:42):
Uh, not hot, not cold, but itwas great.
Nice getaway.
Our condo, oh my gosh, waswonderful.
Y'all, this bathroom in the mainin the master bedroom, oh my
gosh.
It could have been a room byitself.
You could have fit 15 people inthat shower.
It was one of those walk-ins,and it had several nozzles, you

(02:04):
know, whatever you call it, theshower heads, whatever.
Oh, you oh, it was just, and ithad a little bench you could sit
on if you wanted to.
You could that could have been aroom in there.
Anyway, I'm going on and on.
It was a nice condo, very nice.
V R B O.
It was Phoenix Phoenix 9, Ithink is the name of the

(02:27):
building.
There's a lot of Phoenixes downthere.
The condo condominiums the nameof them.
There's a lot of Phoenixes.
We stayed in Phoenix 9 thistime.
Fantastic.
Recommend it.
We're gonna make it an annualthing.
Because it's a lot cheaper thangoing on a vacation somewhere
else, getting a flight, and blahblah blah.

(02:49):
Alright, you don't really careabout that.
Oh, so this also during thiswhole week, I just blew out my
diet big time.
Not that I was doing real goodbefore, because I'd gotten off
my diet, gotten off keto, waseating terrible, and and so
right before we went onvacation, I thought, you know

(03:09):
what, I'm gonna be 59 nextmonth, December, which is coming
up, which means I'll be 60 nextyear.
So I thought, you know what?
I want to take this year and getinto the best possible shape I
can get in.
I got a whole year to do it.
I would like to lose 50 pounds,but I'm gonna really look at

(03:29):
being fit and healthy instead.
And if the weight drops off,then great.
But I want to be in the bestpossible shape I can be in by
the time I turn 60 next Decemberin 2026.
So I've created a little routinefor myself and what I'm gonna
buckle down and where I work,you can go next door to this

(03:51):
building, and it has like alittle chopette in there, and it
has all kinds of junk food,potato chips, cookies, uh, you
know, those microwaveablesandwiches, it has candy bars,
galore, drinks, soft drinks,Gatorade, Starbucks.
They have, I mean, they have allkinds of stuff over there.
And every day I found myselfgoing over there after lunch.

(04:14):
I'll just get a pack of cookies.
One little pack of cookies isnot gonna hurt.
Well, it does, it adds up.
And when we were on vacation, Idecided I'm gonna blow it out.
Just blow it out this week.
I'm on vacation, screw up.
So we had ice cream every night,we had Starbucks every morning.
Oh, y'all.

(04:35):
Um I was bad.
But now that I'm back, we'rebuckling down, eating healthy,
no Starbucks anymore.
I'm done.
No, not even as a treat.
No, done, done, done.
No Starbucks.
Because I need to get it fit andhealthy and lose weight.
I can't believe I'm gonna be 60next year.
That is insane.

(04:55):
That it's gonna hit me hard.
But at least I'm alive, upright,and vertical.
Now a lot can happen in a year.
But today I'm grateful for beingalive.
Okay.
Uh, there was some other I guesswas there something else?
Oh, I got to meet Laura Reps inreal life.
She is just like she is onTwitter too, y'all.
Lovely person, fantastic.

(05:17):
She is a great person.
And it's so funny because we gotthere and we just sat down and
started talking like we've knowneach other forever.
It was so comfortable.
For me, it was.
And she got to meet the gent,and the gent got to meet her,
and she bought us breakfast, andit was a place called Bagel
Heads.
We need one of those inHuntsville.

(05:39):
No, we don't, because we'regonna be healthy.
No more bagels.
Alright.
Let's move on to.
I guess that's all I've got foryou.
It seemed like there was a lotmore I had going on, but seemed
like there was.
But we're gonna go over here tomy profile.
Uh was oh, I think I talkedabout Marjorie Taylor Green
yesterday too, and all thathubbub.
And I'm sorry, but Donald Trumpis losing his shine for me.

(06:04):
He gets on TV and all he lovesto do is just talk, talk, talk,
talk.
He was on TV last night.
Like, why is Fox News coveringthis?
He really does love himself,which is fine.
He's doing a good job.
He signed executive orders, butthat's all he's done.
Now I know he can't do much ofanything else because Congress
needs to do shit, and they'rethey're not doing anything.

(06:24):
But this whole thing where he isattacking Marjorie Taylor Green
and Thomas Massey, that truesocial he sent on sent out on
True Social about Thomas Masseybeing getting married really
soon after his wife died, wasuncalled for.
It was gross and I d that reallyhas tarnished my view of Donald

(06:46):
J.
Trump.
I put up with a lot of stufffrom him before, but that was
awful.
That was terrible.
I don't care how much youdislike somebody because they're
not agreeing with you.
That's just uncalled for.
Alright.
We need to move on to thetopics.
I only have two because I knew Iwould get on here and talk a lot

(07:07):
about other stuff.
Alright, let's see.
Podcast topic.
Let's see, which one do I wantto do first?
Okay, we're gonna do this onefirst.
Billionaire CEO's archaic datingadvice.
Ruthlessly mocked.
So the post found out whichpickup lines are better or
worse.
Oh boy.

(07:27):
Did you guys have a pickup linewhen you were out there and
about dating, or did you justimmediately get with your
significant other and juststayed with them?
I don't know if you guys playedthe market or not.
We'll see.
Uh, thanks but no thanks.
Bill Ackman, the CEO of PershingSquare Holdings, had a weekend
epiphany posted on X thatdigital dating has killed

(07:49):
romance.
He's not totally wrong, butwe've all known this already.
Where has he been?
Well, he's a billionaire and hedoesn't need to worry about it.
And that the reason why singlemen are struggling to meet
potential suitors out in thewild is because they're not
using the right pickup line on awoman.
His flirty conversation starterof choice is May I meet you

(08:11):
Okay.
Are you not are you alreadytalking to him face to face?
Are you not already face to facewith them and meeting them?
That makes no sense to me.
May I meet you?
It's a head scratcher for sure,but the billionaire swears he
almost never got a no by usingit.
Well, hun, it's probably becausethey already know you're a
billionaire.

(08:32):
So of course they are not goingto say no.
What a dumbass.
Thousands of people quicklychimed in on the post, trolling
Ackman's outdated opener.
I don't see anything wrong withit, but whatever.
Uh but his advice raised an evenbigger question.
What are the best and worstpickup lines people have ever
heard?
Because let's face it, singleshave gotten both wittier and

(08:55):
weirder in today's dating world.
There are a lot of witty peopleout there, let me tell you.
If I was out on the market rightnow, it would be the guy with
the most witty pickup line.
Okay, he needs to make me laugh,that's for sure.
Because let's face it, I alreadyokay, I already read that.
The post did some digging tofind out which lines were wooed

(09:17):
or bewildered the masses.
In our newsrooms, for instance,a reporter once asked by a guy,
okay, was once asked by a guy upfor some nonsense, which much to
her friend's surprise, shethought was clever and cheeky,
and I agree it is.

(09:38):
I don't it is.
An editor also copped to hearinga pickup line from a friend that
he seems to have stored in hismemory bank as he wasted no time
answering this question when heasked, Oh no, I'm not repeating
that.
It says nice shoes wanna F youmm-hmm.

(09:58):
That's terrible.
That is terrible.
Don't say that to a woman.
In the real world, meaning onsocial media, it was a mixed
bag.
Every time I've said to a woman,Hey X, I like you and I'm
attracted to you, I'd like toget to know you better.
I've gotten a date.

(10:19):
Another ex uh on ex, MelissaChin, fittingly enough, the vice
president at Strategy Risks, ageopolitical risk analysis
company, shared a sweet linethat would have worked on her if
she were still single.
Two days ago I was leaving asupermarket in North London when
a young man, I think he wastwenty one, at most twenty five,

(10:40):
came up to me and said, Can Itake you out on a date?
I smiled, showed him my ring onmy finger, and I said, I am
engaged, but if I were single, Iwould have said yes.
Well, I guess that's prettystraightforward.
I like the straightforwardnesstoo.
That's nice.
Emma Davis told the post thather now boyfriend sweetly

(11:01):
referenced the brutal heat waveNYC experienced the past summer.
He messaged me her on Tinderover with an opener.
Hot enough out there for ya andit swept the twenty six year old
right off her feet.
What that did?
It was probably one of thecorniest ones I've heard, but he
got me and four months laterhere we are.
And while plenty of peoplethought Ackman's pickup line was

(11:24):
downright creepy, compared toother conversation starters
people have been approached withhis shockingly wasn't the worst
of them.
Okay, we're gonna read one moreparagraph and then we'll stop.
Adia Sesams 38 messaged the postthat a man if a few words once
approached her as she washeading to the bathroom.

(11:47):
He might have gotten cold feetin the moment because the only
thing that came out of his mouthonce they were face to face was
good night.
Okay, whatever.
Okay, you can go finish readingthat.
That was kind of dumb.
I thought it was gonna be betterthan that, but it's not.
Alright, this next podcast topicfor the New York Post.
Now they've already talked aboutit on Fox News this morning on

(12:10):
Fox and Friends.
I swear they read my X filebecause everything I put out on
there, they read.
I'm just kidding, they you knowthey don't.
Alright, you ready for this?
Parents?
This is so asinine.
Parents should ask babies forconsent before changing their
diapers.

(12:30):
This is according to experts.
What in the world are we doinghere?
It's a move that might stink tosome parents, but there's a new
age way to change a newborn'sundies.
Drenched diapers are no longermesses that need to be ripped
off a baby's bottom post haste,according to new advice by early

(12:55):
childhood developmentresearchers in Australia.
Well, there you go, it'sAustralia.
That explains everything.
Australia has lost its way.
Instead, the experts encouragemoms and dads to request an
infant's consent.
You read that correctly beforechanging their diaper.

(13:17):
At the start of a nappy change,ensure your child knows what is
happening.
Researchers from DeaconUniversity wrote in November
2025 guide.
Get down to their level and sayyou need a nappy change diaper
change, and then pause so theycan take this in.
But their off-beat directivesfor cleaning a cutie's batootie,

(13:40):
a task that parents often rushto just get it done, the
researcher said, doesn't endhere.
Oh dear.
Then you can say, Do you want towalk or crawl with me to the
changing table?
Or would you like me to carryyou?
Oh my god, this is frickin' outof control.
What in the world?

(14:03):
The experts further noted,further noted, this can be a
time to help children learnabout consent and how to their
bodies work.
They're infants.
They don't know.
They're not aware, they're notthey're infants.
Do you remember being an infant?
The experts further noted, okay,I already read that the author
of the report did notimmediately respond to the post

(14:25):
request for comment.
I guess not.
Probably too embarrassed.
However, having heart to heartwith rug rats every time they go
number one or two could fallunder their ever controversial
category of gentle parenting.
Yeah, I'd say so.
It's an ultra-permissive,anti-authoritarian approach to
child rearing that prioritizesempathy, respect, connection,

(14:47):
and communication over rules andpunishments.
You people are out of your mind.
It's a diaper change.
The diaper needs to be changed.
Change the damn diaper.
You don't need to askpermission.
You people are out of control.
It's Australia, though, so takethat for what it's worth.
Alright, we need to get to thequestion of the day.
I had two questions of the dayyesterday that I thought were

(15:07):
going to be spectacular.
And of course, now I can't thinkof any of them that I had.
Okay, what's the best rock bandof all time?
I, my favorite, I don't knowabout it, my favorite is AC DC.
Now, whether they're the best ofall time, I don't know.
But my favorite is ACDC.
I love ACDC.

(15:28):
I think they're the best rockband.
Well, my f my I have a lot offavorite songs from them.
I think my favorite one thoughis it's a long way to the top if
you want to rock and roll.
I love that would be my walkoutsong.
And I'm sorry, I probably haveasked this question before, but
it there it is.
Best rock band.

(15:49):
Okay, I gotta go.
Thanks for listening.