June 27, 2025 • 10 mins
What happens when you stumble upon your husband in bed with your sister? Would you tell them you saw, or carry that secret for three decades? One Dear Abby letter writer chose silence—and now, after her ex-husband's death, finds herself haunted by her sister's continued admiration for the man who betrayed them both.
Today's episode takes a refreshing break from depressing headlines to explore relationship dynamics through the lens of Dear Abby letters. We dive into stories that reveal troubling patterns and red flags: a controlling boyfriend who publicly humiliates his partner by forcing unnecessary apologies to strangers, a husband who refuses household duties despite his wife's demanding career, and a mother whose thoughtful birthday preparations for her 40-year-old daughter are met with shocking ingratitude.
These stories spark deeper questions about relationship boundaries, secrets, and family tensions. When is it time to walk away? How do we divide household responsibilities fairly? Should decades-old betrayals be brought to light? Between these thought-provoking scenarios, I share my cake preferences (red velvet, hold the nuts) and invite you to consider yours. What's your favorite celebration cake? Share your thoughts and join us Sunday for the return of Brute Awakening after our Tunica getaway last weekend.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, good morning, happy Friday.
I searched and searched andsearched and really could not
find anything interesting totalk about this morning.
I mean, it's the same old, sameold crap.
And it's been like this for thelast few mornings.
I've been struggling to findsomething interesting to share
with you that's other than themainstream news, and I'm just
(00:22):
not finding anything excepthorrible death and destruction.
So we are going to do, dearAbby, today I'm going to pick a
couple and we're going to seewhat happens.
My boyfriend scolds me in publicand makes me apologize to
strangers.
Oh boy, this is probably amade-up one.
This has got to be a made-upone.
(00:42):
My boyfriend embarrassed mewhen he told me to apologize to
a woman standing behind him inline at the market.
He was about to pay for thegroceries when I said I'd run to
get an item I had forgotten, ittook less than a minute and the
order was still being run rungup.
When I went back to include theitem, he ordered me to loudly
(01:03):
to apologize to the womanstanding in the line behind him.
Abby, he was still paying.
She wasn't even in line when Iwent to get the mustard because
he was still there.
I thought he had told her hewas waiting for me.
It's not the first time he'sdone something like this.
I don't think I did anythingwrong, or even if I did, he
(01:24):
could have told me privately andnot made me feel like a
misbehaving child.
I would feel different if wehad left the checkout line, but
he hadn't.
I thought he was holding theline for me, not a child in
Florida.
Okay, the good news is you arenot married to this man yet.
So there's your red flag Do notmarry this man.
Break up with him right now.
(01:46):
That's my blunt advice to you.
So here's what Dear Abby saidDear, not a child.
If there had been a long line,I can understand that running
back to fetch the mustard mighthave caused a serious
inconvenience Because therewasn't.
Your boyfriend should not haveembarrassed you the way he did,
since it wasn't the first timehe has done something like this.
(02:08):
Assume that he derivessatisfaction from doing it.
There you go, she says.
Think hard about whether youreally want a future with a
partner.
So there you go.
Not a child in florida, allright, let's see what is up next
.
Oh, I'm the breadwinner, but myhusband won't do any chores.
(02:29):
This has got to be.
These all have got to be madeup.
Come on, all right, I was dearAbby.
I was once a stay-at-home wife.
I did all the cooking,housekeeping etc.
Due to a downturn in theindustry, where my husband was a
highly paid executive, heturned to a health care career
using his bachelor degree.
(02:49):
I returned to work in awell-paying but demanding job.
So now I cook, we eat, he sitsdown to watch tv and I clean
while watching tv.
When I ask for help, he accusesme of being a nag.
I I'm growing more and moredepressed over this Advice.
Please Feeling down in theSouth.
Oh, you're in the South.
(03:12):
Well, I don't even know what tosay about this, except let's not
divide chores.
You know equal amounts of thisand that I'm doing this, so you
should be doing that.
I mean it should just be like aregular routine.
It just kind of flows.
You know, just use your commonsense.
(03:32):
Why are you keeping score?
I mean, apparently they bothwork, so I don't know why he's
not doing anything either.
Uh, does keep, look, I've gotit made.
I can't talk, I've got it madein the shade.
I work.
My job is not demanding though.
Uh, the husband is, you know,retired, so he stays at home and
(03:56):
he takes care of everything.
I mean, everything is so muchso that I feel bad.
I feel like I need to be doingsomething, but you know, what
can I do?
I don't know.
All right, we're moving on.
That was a boring one.
That was a boring one.
Um, oh, this is soundsinteresting.
I don't know if my husband is myson's father.
(04:19):
Uh-oh, uh-oh, dear Abby, myex-husband, oh dear, oh dear, oh
dear.
Okay, my ex-husband was founddead in his home three months
ago.
He was a bitter man who neverforgave me for leaving him.
We were divorced for 30 yearsbefore his death and we have two
(04:39):
children and four beautifulgrandchildren.
For years, he bitterlycomplained to our children and
refused to attend special eventsbecause I left him.
When there were issues, herefused to help, insisting it
was my fault because I had left.
The truth is, I left after Iwalked in on him having sex with
my older sister, but he'sbitter for her leaving.
(05:03):
Okay, got it.
Uh, neither of them saw me andI never told him what.
Okay, okay, why, why didn't you?
Okay?
This is so weird.
Let me read this again.
The truth is I left him after Iwalked in on him having sex
with my older sister.
Neither of them saw me and Inever told him.
(05:27):
Now he's gone.
My sister, who recently lost herhusband, keeps talking to me
about my ex-husband, saying howgood looking he was.
It makes me sick, oh my God.
Oh, I loved my husband when Ileft him, but I could never
forgive him.
I wish I had said something tohim when he was alive, but it
(05:48):
was too late.
Excuse me Every time, oh mygosh, hold on, oh my gosh.
Okay, sorry about that.
All right, I'm back.
Every time my sister speaks ofhim I get so upset I want to
confront her about it, but fearit would do more harm than good.
His death was her turned myworld upside down and I am so
(06:10):
confused.
Okay, what does that have to dowith you?
Don't think your husband isyour son's father?
What the hell you?
I lost the story here.
You should.
Okay, yeah, why did you not saysomething?
If I had walked in and saw myhusband having sex with somebody
else, everybody in theneighborhood would know.
(06:33):
Okay, that's just crazy.
I think that's all made up.
But the headline is I don'tknow if my husband is my son's
father, and she says nothing inhere about any of that in this
dear abby letter?
That was dumb.
That was just dumb.
Okay, I'm just picking theseout willy-nilly.
(06:54):
Oh, my boyfriend won't divorcehis wife.
No, I'm not going over that one.
Um, the love of my life died inmy apartment.
I'm scared to be alone now.
Not reading that one.
My best friend was beensecretly using rogaine.
I feel left out that he didn'ttell me.
Not reading that one.
(07:15):
My daughter called the cake Imade for her birthday stupid.
Okay, let's read that one.
Okay, just because, dear abby,my 40 year old daughter oh my
god, 40 year old daughter is ona weight loss injections and no
sugar diet.
I offered to bake her asugar-free cheesecake and she
agreed.
But she asked me to make atester cake three days before.
(07:39):
I explained that the cake has alengthy preparation process
involving a very slow bake in awater bath and 12 hours chill
time.
Oh my god, I said just go buysomething.
I suggested she wait, but sheinsisted, so I made it early.
She cut a slice of it andexclaimed how great it tasted.
Three days later, I baked anddecorated a carrot cake to use
(08:02):
as her official birthday cake,since the sugar-free cake had
been cut and wouldn't look nicein the photos.
Carrot is her children'sfavorite.
I hosted everyone at anexpensive restaurant, gave her
French perfume and a weekendgetaway.
She's 40.
You don't need to be givingthese extravagant gifts to your
40-year-old daughter.
(08:23):
Sorry, maybe I'm just being awitch here.
Uh.
So anyway, when we returnedfrom the dinner, my daughter
angrily said get in here so wecan cut this stupid cake which I
can't eat.
Oh my gosh, I was shocked andconfused.
She said I shouldn't have madea cake of a flavor she dislikes.
But I pointed out that she hadthe sugar-free cake too.
(08:45):
Apparently, she had expected meto bake a second sugar-free
cheesecake.
I chewed her out for beingungrateful.
Was I wrong?
I'm not even going to answerthat Y'all.
Y'all know your common sense.
Come on now.
Oh, all right, we need to gomove on to the question of the
day.
(09:05):
I don't know about you, but Ienjoy reading those, especially
like spontaneously, when Ihaven't read them before and I
just read them like I'm readingthem to you as I'm reading.
Okay, that makes no sense.
You know what I mean?
Uh, it's just hilarious to me,some of these people that write
in.
Although I don't think theyreally write in.
I think it probably.
(09:25):
98% of them are probably allmade up, maybe 99%.
They're probably all made up.
They have to be.
Oh well, I'm going to ohquestion of the day.
Let's stick with the cake.
What is your favorite cake?
Do you have a favorite cake?
Like, if you were, if you onyour birthday, and somebody said
(09:47):
what kind of cake do you want,what would you order?
What would you ask for?
I'm going to ask for anythingthat doesn't have nuts in it.
I don't like carrot cake.
Probably my favorite is redvelvet.
There there's my favorite cake.
It's red velvet.
All right, what about you?
All right, got to go Love y'all.
Happy weekend.
Hopefully the gent and I willbe back on Sunday for Brute
(10:07):
Awakening.
We totally forgot about it lastweekend because we were in
Tunica, probably, and we weregetting ready to leave to come
home on that day, on Sunday.
So hopefully we'll remember todo an episode Sunday.
All right, got to go, Love y.
Hello, good morning, happy Friday.
I searched and searched andsearched and really could not
find anything interesting totalk about this morning.
I mean, it's the same old, sameold crap.
And it's been like this for thelast few mornings.
I've been struggling to findsomething interesting to share
with you that's other than themainstream news, and I'm just
(00:22):
not finding anything excepthorrible death and destruction.
So we are going to do, dearAbby, today I'm going to pick a
couple and we're going to seewhat happens.
My boyfriend scolds me in publicand makes me apologize to
strangers.
Oh boy, this is probably amade-up one.
This has got to be a made-upone.
(00:42):
My boyfriend embarrassed mewhen he told me to apologize to
a woman standing behind him inline at the market.
He was about to pay for thegroceries when I said I'd run to
get an item I had forgotten, ittook less than a minute and the
order was still being run rungup.
When I went back to include theitem, he ordered me to loudly
(01:03):
to apologize to the womanstanding in the line behind him.
Abby, he was still paying.
She wasn't even in line when Iwent to get the mustard because
he was still there.
I thought he had told her hewas waiting for me.
It's not the first time he'sdone something like this.
I don't think I did anythingwrong, or even if I did, he
(01:24):
could have told me privately andnot made me feel like a
misbehaving child.
I would feel different if wehad left the checkout line, but
he hadn't.
I thought he was holding theline for me, not a child in
Florida.
Okay, the good news is you arenot married to this man yet.
So there's your red flag Do notmarry this man.
Break up with him right now.
(01:46):
That's my blunt advice to you.
So here's what Dear Abby saidDear, not a child.
If there had been a long line,I can understand that running
back to fetch the mustard mighthave caused a serious
inconvenience Because therewasn't.
Your boyfriend should not haveembarrassed you the way he did,
since it wasn't the first timehe has done something like this.
(02:08):
Assume that he derivessatisfaction from doing it.
There you go, she says.
Think hard about whether youreally want a future with a
partner.
So there you go.
Not a child in florida, allright, let's see what is up next
.
Oh, I'm the breadwinner, but myhusband won't do any chores.
(02:29):
This has got to be.
These all have got to be madeup.
Come on, all right, I was dearAbby.
I was once a stay-at-home wife.
I did all the cooking,housekeeping etc.
Due to a downturn in theindustry, where my husband was a
highly paid executive, heturned to a health care career
using his bachelor degree.
(02:49):
I returned to work in awell-paying but demanding job.
So now I cook, we eat, he sitsdown to watch tv and I clean
while watching tv.
When I ask for help, he accusesme of being a nag.
I I'm growing more and moredepressed over this Advice.
Please Feeling down in theSouth.
Oh, you're in the South.
(03:12):
Well, I don't even know what tosay about this, except let's not
divide chores.
You know equal amounts of thisand that I'm doing this, so you
should be doing that.
I mean it should just be like aregular routine.
It just kind of flows.
You know, just use your commonsense.
(03:32):
Why are you keeping score?
I mean, apparently they bothwork, so I don't know why he's
not doing anything either.
Uh, does keep, look, I've gotit made.
I can't talk, I've got it madein the shade.
I work.
My job is not demanding though.
Uh, the husband is, you know,retired, so he stays at home and
(03:56):
he takes care of everything.
I mean, everything is so muchso that I feel bad.
I feel like I need to be doingsomething, but you know, what
can I do?
I don't know.
All right, we're moving on.
That was a boring one.
That was a boring one.
Um, oh, this is soundsinteresting.
I don't know if my husband is myson's father.
(04:19):
Uh-oh, uh-oh, dear Abby, myex-husband, oh dear, oh dear, oh
dear.
Okay, my ex-husband was founddead in his home three months
ago.
He was a bitter man who neverforgave me for leaving him.
We were divorced for 30 yearsbefore his death and we have two
(04:39):
children and four beautifulgrandchildren.
For years, he bitterlycomplained to our children and
refused to attend special eventsbecause I left him.
When there were issues, herefused to help, insisting it
was my fault because I had left.
The truth is, I left after Iwalked in on him having sex with
my older sister, but he'sbitter for her leaving.
(05:03):
Okay, got it.
Uh, neither of them saw me andI never told him what.
Okay, okay, why, why didn't you?
Okay?
This is so weird.
Let me read this again.
The truth is I left him after Iwalked in on him having sex
with my older sister.
Neither of them saw me and Inever told him.
(05:27):
Now he's gone.
My sister, who recently lost herhusband, keeps talking to me
about my ex-husband, saying howgood looking he was.
It makes me sick, oh my God.
Oh, I loved my husband when Ileft him, but I could never
forgive him.
I wish I had said something tohim when he was alive, but it
(05:48):
was too late.
Excuse me Every time, oh mygosh, hold on, oh my gosh.
Okay, sorry about that.
All right, I'm back.
Every time my sister speaks ofhim I get so upset I want to
confront her about it, but fearit would do more harm than good.
His death was her turned myworld upside down and I am so
(06:10):
confused.
Okay, what does that have to dowith you?
Don't think your husband isyour son's father?
What the hell you?
I lost the story here.
You should.
Okay, yeah, why did you not saysomething?
If I had walked in and saw myhusband having sex with somebody
else, everybody in theneighborhood would know.
(06:33):
Okay, that's just crazy.
I think that's all made up.
But the headline is I don'tknow if my husband is my son's
father, and she says nothing inhere about any of that in this
dear abby letter?
That was dumb.
That was just dumb.
Okay, I'm just picking theseout willy-nilly.
(06:54):
Oh, my boyfriend won't divorcehis wife.
No, I'm not going over that one.
Um, the love of my life died inmy apartment.
I'm scared to be alone now.
Not reading that one.
My best friend was beensecretly using rogaine.
I feel left out that he didn'ttell me.
Not reading that one.
(07:15):
My daughter called the cake Imade for her birthday stupid.
Okay, let's read that one.
Okay, just because, dear abby,my 40 year old daughter oh my
god, 40 year old daughter is ona weight loss injections and no
sugar diet.
I offered to bake her asugar-free cheesecake and she
agreed.
But she asked me to make atester cake three days before.
(07:39):
I explained that the cake has alengthy preparation process
involving a very slow bake in awater bath and 12 hours chill
time.
Oh my god, I said just go buysomething.
I suggested she wait, but sheinsisted, so I made it early.
She cut a slice of it andexclaimed how great it tasted.
Three days later, I baked anddecorated a carrot cake to use
(08:02):
as her official birthday cake,since the sugar-free cake had
been cut and wouldn't look nicein the photos.
Carrot is her children'sfavorite.
I hosted everyone at anexpensive restaurant, gave her
French perfume and a weekendgetaway.
She's 40.
You don't need to be givingthese extravagant gifts to your
40-year-old daughter.
(08:23):
Sorry, maybe I'm just being awitch here.
Uh.
So anyway, when we returnedfrom the dinner, my daughter
angrily said get in here so wecan cut this stupid cake which I
can't eat.
Oh my gosh, I was shocked andconfused.
She said I shouldn't have madea cake of a flavor she dislikes.
But I pointed out that she hadthe sugar-free cake too.
(08:45):
Apparently, she had expected meto bake a second sugar-free
cheesecake.
I chewed her out for beingungrateful.
Was I wrong?
I'm not even going to answerthat Y'all.
Y'all know your common sense.
Come on now.
Oh, all right, we need to gomove on to the question of the
day.
(09:05):
I don't know about you, but Ienjoy reading those, especially
like spontaneously, when Ihaven't read them before and I
just read them like I'm readingthem to you as I'm reading.
Okay, that makes no sense.
You know what I mean?
Uh, it's just hilarious to me,some of these people that write
in.
Although I don't think theyreally write in.
I think it probably.
(09:25):
98% of them are probably allmade up, maybe 99%.
They're probably all made up.
They have to be.
Oh well, I'm going to ohquestion of the day.
Let's stick with the cake.
What is your favorite cake?
Do you have a favorite cake?
Like, if you were, if you onyour birthday, and somebody said
(09:47):
what kind of cake do you want,what would you order?
What would you ask for?
I'm going to ask for anythingthat doesn't have nuts in it.
I don't like carrot cake.
Probably my favorite is redvelvet.
There there's my favorite cake.
It's red velvet.
All right, what about you?
All right, got to go Love y'all.
Happy weekend.
Hopefully the gent and I willbe back on Sunday for Brute
(10:07):
Awakening.
We totally forgot about it lastweekend because we were in
Tunica, probably, and we weregetting ready to leave to come
home on that day, on Sunday.
So hopefully we'll remember todo an episode Sunday.
All right, got to go, Love y.
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