July 16, 2025 • 35 mins
Psychologist turned health coach Kristen Heck explores the concept of reinvention, revealing it's not just changing jobs or appearance but a fundamental shift in how we see ourselves and live our lives.
• Reinvention can happen at any age, not just during midlife
• True transformation begins with awareness of our automatic thought patterns
• Fear of failure and disappointing others often keeps us stuck
• Stillness and mindfulness help us connect with our authentic desires
• Visualization of our future self creates clarity about necessary changes
• Most changes aren't permanent—if something doesn't work, we can adjust
• Having both validating friends and those who challenge our thinking is crucial
• Social media and constant connectivity disconnect us from our true selves
• The process involves returning to authenticity rather than becoming someone new
Join us for part two where we'll discuss mindful embodiment and how to take inspired action toward becoming your authentic self.
You can find Kristin and the work she does at the following places:
https://www.healthyasheck.com/
IG and Facebook: @healthyasheck
Patreon: www.patreon.com/healthyasheck
Thank you for tuning into And Still WE Rise! If you would like to learn more about me or the work our practice is doing, feel free to follow us on Instagram at:
@atltherapygirl and @risetherapycenter
Or check us out at www.risetherapycenter.com
Disclaimer: And Still We Rise is meant to provide perspective and meaningful conversations around mental health topics. It is not meant to provide specific therapeutic advise to individuals. If anything in these podcasts resonates, ASWR recommends consulting with your individual therapist or seeking a referral from your primary care physician.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome to, and Still we Rise.
I am your host, ChristineSeidel, and today I have our
guest, Kristen Heck.
Welcome, Kristen.
Thank you Lovely to have you.
To get started, I would love tojust read a little bit of your
bio, if that's okay with you.
It's okay with you.
(00:26):
Kristen Heck is a licensedclinical psychologist turned
certified health coach andfitness instructor, based in
Beaufort, Georgia.
With over a decade ofexperience specializing in
women's health, body image andeating disorders in clinical and
treatment settings, she nowempowers women, especially those
in midlife, with a unique blendof mental health and
sustainable fitness andnutrition strategies.
After transitioning intoprivate coaching, Kristen
(00:49):
created Healthy as Heck, aholistic lifestyle brand
offering personalized healthprograms, menopause-focused
coaching and private yogasessions.
Her credentials include a PsyDin clinical psychology, a
certified health coach,certified menopause coaching
specialist, precision nutritionlevel one, and she's a 200-hour
(01:11):
registered yoga instructor.
Driven by her passion of seeingwomen feel strong, balanced and
confident, Kristen blendsevidence-based mindset work with
physical training to supportlong-term well-being, and she
offers both virtual andin-person coaching sessions.
Welcome, Kristen lens.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Evidence-based mindset work with physical
training to support long-termwell-being, and she offers both
virtual and in-person coachingsessions.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Welcome, kristen, thank you, excited to be here.
Long list of achievements, mygoodness, I've been busy, you
have been busy, you have beenbusy and I have to say you know,
to our listeners and to ourviewers, I've known Kristen us
for several years and I alwaysfind her to be just like a
wealth of knowledge.
Even before this recording I'mI'm coming to her being like
girl.
I'm feeling this, I'm feelingthat what's going on with me?
(01:53):
So we've had lots ofconversations like that.
They go both ways absolutelyyeah, for all of us and
everything we talk about, forsure.
So I know, today you know wewould love to have you back
because you have such a wideknowledge and understanding of a
lot of the things, especiallylike midlife transitions, and so
(02:14):
you know we'll have you backover a period of time.
But today we're talking about aconversation, a topic that I
think can resonate with all ofus, and that is the topic of
reinventing yourself.
So, to kick it off, what doesthat actually mean?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Good question.
I think it's different fordifferent people, but I, when I
look at people who are sort ofreinventing themselves, I see it
as bigger than just decidingyou're going to make a change
like a job change, or you'regoing to change your hair or
(02:53):
something like that.
Reinventing yourself, to me, isa fundamental shift in how you
see yourself, how you live yourlife, how you look at your goals
, all those little daily habits.
I think there's just a massiveshifting of all of that, which
is a little bit deeper than justthe small shifts that we make
(03:18):
every now and then, you know.
So that's how I look at it.
I just think it's a deeperchange in who you are and how
you operate in the world.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Right, so maybe like a deeper resonance of making a
shift or making a change.
Yeah, so you know in yourexperience how would you say
these drives or these desirescome about for reinvention.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I think they're different for everybody.
I think sometimes there's anexternal cause to it.
I think sometimes losing jobsor having babies or getting
married or leaving a marriage orrelationship changes in general
, I think all those things cancause us to step back and
(04:06):
reevaluate a little bit.
But I also think sometimes Idon't have a better way of
saying this but I thinksometimes we just get sick of
ourselves, you know, like we getsick of our own stories, we get
sick of our own excuses, we getsick of living in ways that
don't feel like they align, andI think after a while of living
(04:27):
that way, we all sort of havethis moment where we stop and
start to ask ourselves is thiswhat it's going to look like for
the rest of my life?
And if the answer isn't onethat makes you excited, I think
sometimes we start to feel likewe have to make a bigger change
than what we've been doing.
If that makes sense, or do itdifferently maybe.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, and I feel like , you know, culturally, we kind
of have this identifier of likemidlife crisis and you know,
everybody is like, oh, as Ienter my 40s, am I going to like
what, am I going to implode atthis point?
But I, I think what you'resaying is like this is this this
deeper level resonance that wewere kind of reflecting what,
(05:11):
what and how we're showing up inlife to see if that really is
authentic to us and and I thinkthat there's probably so many
different times and and markersin our life that we kind of do
that, maybe subconsciously, um,but I think you're talking about
is is really being conscious ofsomething.
(05:31):
Here.
I'm ready to shift and changeinto alignment of what's really
myself, rather than I'm feeling,you know, like you know I'm
questioning things and now I'mgoing to go and implode my life
and see what does it.
You know, with that, with thatkind of, you know, traditional
(05:52):
or cultural belief of like amidlife crisis or whatever.
So you know, and I think thatthat can be anything from like
people you know, especiallycoming out of like childhood and
being, you know, in theirparents' care, then start
realizing, you know, I don'tknow if this like belief really
aligns with me, so let me goseek something else.
Or, you know, even I think, aswomen will like you know, I
(06:15):
think the funny meme is like youcan always tell when a woman's
about to go through a breakupbecause her hair changes
drastically.
You know, so you know, but Ithink what you know, what we're
going to talk about today, isthat feeling of stuckness, where
you're kind of reflecting whereyou are to your authenticity
and your own alignment andreally making this conscious
change or conscious decision tomake that change?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, absolutely, and I don't.
I do think we talk about it alot in midlife, but I don't
think it's really primarily amidlife thing.
I mean, if I look back atpivotal moments in my life, they
actually weren't midlife.
Because I'm in mid I meanthat's where I'm now, and I
(07:00):
think there were several ofthose moments getting here I
actually feel like midlife forsome of us and I know that's not
it's not true across the board,but some of us I think from
midlife is actually a settlingin a little bit of like oh, you
know I, I know who I am now.
So I think it can happen atdifferent times of life, you
(07:21):
know.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, can happen at different times of life, you
know, yeah.
So, like from your experience,where do you see people tend to
get stuck and how do you kind ofstart working with them through
those blocks?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
There's a lot of those places.
Personally, I know a stickypoint for me was always feeling
like if I make a change, Ifailed.
So I think that like whateverI'm leaving behind was a failure
on some level, Um, so I thinkpeople are very I think people
(08:00):
are very afraid of failure or ofbeing seen as like they failed,
um, if that makes sense.
So I think that's a stickingpoint.
I think, in general,expectations of the people that
are around us are very importantnot letting people down, or for
women.
I think struggle with this alittle bit more of not
(08:20):
disappointing people.
I think those can be really bigsticking points, Um, and I
think our own, um let me thinkabout how I want to say this our
own definition of who we arecan be a sticking point of, like
getting out of that box forourselves, Um, and honestly, a
(08:42):
lot of that work, um, which youwill be very familiar with, um
comes back to a lot of likecognitive retraining, you know
of going back and looking at ourour self-talk, our internal,
like dearly held beliefs, likewhat are those and are those?
(09:02):
are those accurate?
Can we shift those?
Can we question those?
Can we?
Are those accurate?
Can we shift those?
Can we question those?
Can we look at thosedifferently?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
And I think once that world opens up the world's a
little bit your oyster, you knowwhen you yeah yeah, well and I
think that's that's a greatpoint is oftentimes that kind of
like desire, that percolatingof like something isn't aligned
here.
Really, is this drawing ourattention to what?
(09:31):
What maybe have we taken onthat we believed was ours, but
may have been our conditioningor a belief system from
childhood that was maybeprojected upon us, or you know,
we start kind of grappling inthat stuckness of like yes, but
this is what I should want to door this is what I've told I,
(09:53):
you know, I've been told.
So it kind of like this likeexternal, like image, versus
this internal kind of desire,and so I think that is know,
when I work with eithertreatment resistant or people
who, even somatically, they'relike something's coming up in my
body, whether it's panic or youknow some chronic pain, it's
(10:16):
like this drawing of theirattention to something that
maybe they haven't really beenconsciously you know, really
aware of the cognitive beliefsystems or the mindset that
they've been running on thatreally isn't aligned with their
authentic, true self.
(10:36):
Yeah, so how do you begin likeworking with that mindset, with
clients to, to shift that?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You know, I always feel like, no matter what you do
, awareness is always your firststep, right?
So I feel like and I'm sure yousee this all the time too we
all, we all run around all dayoperating under this chatter,
that's happening in our brainsand we don't even know what's
(11:04):
happening.
you know, it's just so automaticand it's just there all the
time and we don't even we're notaware of what's even happening
in our thoughts all day long.
So I really feel like some ofthe biggest shifts that I've
seen in clients often happenjust like this, like we just
happened to be talking aboutsomething and I'll catch
(11:25):
something that somebody says andI'm like wait, mirroring and
hearing it back, and they'relike, well, wait a minute,
that's not, that's not how Irealized I even looked at
something.
You know, like that awarenesscan be such a big shift into
looking at life differently,cause you didn't even realize
(11:45):
you were walking around holdingon to this leaf, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I think that's where it starts is.
You know, I mean that's a whole,that's a big, you know,
catalyst to the work I do withclients is like being in a place
that that can pick up yourpatterns that you are so unaware
of.
In in, in having conversations,you know, where you aren't fully
(12:11):
conscious of the things you'resaying, but somebody has been
trained to pick up on thosesubconscious patterns and belief
systems that you just operateare operating on every single
day.
And that's why it is reallyimportant to, as you kind of
come to this process and workwith a professional, you know if
you're going to the same.
You know people that have maybehave been a part of that
(12:33):
conditioning or they, you knowthey find connection with you in
that condition they're notgoing to be able to pick up on
those patterns because thosepatterns are actually things
that they operate under too.
So it is really important whenyou are feeling that desire to
be in a place that can pick upon the pattern and then mirror
(12:55):
that back to you for what itactually is the distortion.
So I think that's a veryimportant step, yeah, and it's
tricky.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that's a very important step, yeah, and it's
tricky.
You know, like having peoplearound you that can validate how
you feel is wonderful, right,yeah, yeah, having someone
that's like I get it.
I feel that way too.
Those are great things andthose are great people to have
in your corner.
I always, um, my friends.
I laugh a little bit because Ikind of know who to go to for
(13:27):
what, right, like I have thosefriends that are super like, oh
my.
God, I totally get it and whowill just meet me where I am and
, you know, love me through it.
And then I also have friendsthat I know when I need to like
have a bit of a kick in the butt, like those are the people I
need to call.
They're going to be like oh my,you got to stop.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, exactly, they're like.
Let me tell you what I'mhearing.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like you're in your head, you're this, you're that,
but that mirroring of I'm goingto give this back to you and
we're going to talk about howthat does not fit who you are or
where you're going on any level, and let's have a real
conversation about that, anylevel, and let's have a real
conversation about that.
So I think both things are soimportant and you're right, I
(14:12):
think sometimes we get a littlebit comfortable being around
people who only do thevalidating part, because having
people mirror back somethingelse is uncomfortable, right,
and now we've got to do the work, and that's scary yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Once you see it for what it actually is like, once
you see it for its reality, itis really hard to kind of put it
back into the box and be likeget back in there, right Cause I
always tell people I mean, youcan like look at it now or you
can look at it later, but thatbox is going to be opened up.
And I think I think you'reright, you need both.
(14:43):
You need a place where you knowthey're trained to pick up on
what is subconsciously beingkind of operating your life.
And then also the people thatyou know validate your feelings
and are part of your supportsystem, like both of those are
important and needed, so thatyou know, one, supported in in
(15:04):
the change that you want to make, and two, that there's a lot of
clarity in what that change isfrom your, from your own
authority and your ownauthenticity.
So, yeah, so you know, knowingthat like shifting that mindset
and like seeing it for what itactually is.
You know, and from thetherapeutic model we say, you
know, oftentimes that's areality distortion or it's a
(15:27):
cognitive distortion and itreally is about shifting it back
into what's going to reallykind of propel you to the change
that you want.
But, like you said, sometimespeople are kind of like, oh, I
don't know if I want to see thator I don't know if I'm ready to
make that change.
So, yeah, how do you supportclients that maybe feel, like
(15:50):
you know, resistant to thatchange?
Maybe they feel like it's toolate, or you know it's going to
disrupt other relationships orthey're afraid of like even
putting themselves out there.
So there's a little bit of thatlike avoidance as a defense
mechanism, like what.
How do you support clientsthrough that?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I mean, I think we all make change in our own time,
right?
So I think if someone's notready to make a change, that's
okay, you know, like we don't.
There's no, there is notimeline, and I I do think
people get very worried aboutthat.
I've been worried about that atdifferent points in my life
that it's too late to dosomething.
I'm a firm believer and I haveto come back and remind myself
(16:32):
of this over and over again thatif we are here and we are still
living and breathing and doingthat, we're not late.
I mean, there's there's stilllife to be lived so we can make
changes at any point.
But I also think that if we'renot ready, then maybe there's a
(16:53):
reason we're not ready, right.
So there's something that westill need to do some work on,
or there's maybe somerestructuring in our support
system or in the way our lifeworks that needs to happen, to
open up the space for thatchange to happen.
And that may not be somethingthat can change right now.
You know, I mean for me, if Ithink about it as a mom, um,
(17:17):
there are changes that maybe Iwould like to make that just
aren't going to happen right inthis moment, because it's summer
and my kids are home andthere's just a lot going on.
So maybe if right now I wasthinking about making a massive
change, today might not be theday, and that's okay, but like
(17:37):
we can still talk about it andprep for it and talk about the
pros and cons and problem solveand then at some point, when I
know this is the time, then wecan make that change.
Right, I think the danger it'sa little bit of a double-edged
sword, because I think we canalso say it's not the right time
forever.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So that's, yeah, that's avoidant.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So, like there's also a point right, when, hopefully,
someone around you or you haveto look at yourself and be like
it's never going to be perfect,right, like the stars are never
going to align at exactly theright place, like sometimes we
just need to step out of it anddo it.
And that's tough, you know, andthat requires some bravery,
which can be challenging, andthat's another place to talk
(18:22):
through and work on, you know,and that requires some bravery,
which can be challenging, andthat's another place to talk
through and work on, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I examine that, yeah, and I, and I think that you
know it's important for you knowthe listeners and the viewers
to understand, like if you're ina place of stuckness and you're
going to see a professional tokind of work through this
feeling of stuckness, like ifthey if they are, you know, a
really, you know solidpractitioner.
(18:49):
They don't have skin in thegame of your change.
They're just there to be aplace of reflection for you and
to support you when you're ready.
Like, like you said, if there'sa place where you know change
is really like hard but youstill desire it, there's
something there that is ready togrow and to be, to be curated
(19:12):
into knowledge, but it mighttake more time.
I know for myself, like when Ihave felt really stuck in
something, I feel like I'm atthis threshold where it's like
this is where I am and this iswhere I want to be.
What I've experienced isoftentimes that feeling and this
is where I want to be.
What I've experienced isoftentimes that feeling of
stuckness is is really the spacewhere I'm gaining more clarity
on what direction I go.
Because, just like you know, oneside of the spectrum you can be
(19:36):
avoidant.
On the other side of thespectrum you can be chaotically
changing.
I'm going to go in thisdirection and then now I'm going
to, you know I'm going to belike I'm going to be an
influencer and now, nope, nowI'm going to be a, you know,
intuitive healer and, like you,can have this like kind of
(19:56):
almost trial and error throughchange, and that's actually the
opposite of like avoidancethrough change, and that's
actually the opposite of likeavoidance.
It's this chaotic, you know,trying on different things to
see what sticks, because you'reactually not listening and
stilling yourself enough tolearn.
Through that stuckness it'slike, oh, I hate the feeling of
being stuck, so let me just outthere and and and do stuff so
(20:21):
that I can see what feels right,versus let me stay in this
threshold to gain more wisdomaround it.
And that's something I've kindof own experiences to like when
that feeling of stuck is there,be in the spaces to hear what
maybe that old story is or thatold mindset that needs to kind
of be re-examined so that thetrue authentic mindset, the true
(20:47):
authentic self will be.
What steps through it?
So I think that's an importantdistinction and that going to
places with professionalshopefully they're not pressuring
you to do that change now.
That shouldn't be happening inthose spaces, but you know, I
know in some places it can.
(21:08):
But knowing that you know, aspractitioners, we we don't have
these timelines for our clients.
We're just there to be areflected space of what, what it
is that we're hearing in termsof those patterns.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You reminded me of a passage that I read sometimes at
the end of a yoga class, and Idon't remember the whole thing,
but there's a piece in it thatsays as many times as I catch
myself barreling forward withouteven knowing where I'm going,
that many times I can stop andbreathe.
and recenter and tap into thesystem is essentially where it
goes.
But when you were talking aboutit, it brought me back to the
(21:46):
place where I feel like a lot ofpeople skip because again, it's
hard and it's uncomfortable.
But that mindfulness piece oflike stepping back, connecting
back into our heart space, intoour bodies, and just being aware
of what's going on right now,whatever it may be, and letting
that intuition and that wisdomguide you, versus just this ping
(22:11):
pong action of I feeluncomfortable.
So I just need to go dosomething to fix that
uncomfortable feeling ratherthan just sitting with it and
being curious about what that is, and then, once we've worked
through that, making a choicefrom a wise place to take this
next step, which is very, verydifferent energy.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
It is very different, different energy, and I think
that even comes back to thetopic of like.
Is this really reinventingyourself?
Or is, through that process ofstillness, listening?
Is it coming back to self andcoming back to that authentic,
you know, true self thatprobably has always been there
but has learned through all thedifferent phases of of our lives
(22:57):
?
Like I, I tell my partner allthe time I'm like I feel like
I've lived a thousand livesalready, that's for sure, right,
I'm like wow, like what, how amI, you know, only at this place
, like at this age, I feel likeI've lived a thousand lives.
But you know really thatreinventing self is coming back
to hear what's really actuallywithin you, which you know.
(23:20):
Sometimes that stillness isuncomfortable and people will
avoid it.
Or sometimes that stillness isuncomfortable and people will go
out there and chaotically tryto look externally for who they
should be.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So, it's.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's an interesting spectrum of of how that
stillness can be superuncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Oh, yeah, yeah, but so important because I think I
think it's imperative and in ourworld I increasingly, and
probably more so than we've everbeen, I think we're just so
disconnected from ourselves,right, like we're on our phones
24 hours a day.
Um, we are getting bombardedwith news and drama and all I
(24:03):
mean we are constantlyexternally focused, always.
So I think we're so disconnectedfrom and even you know, and
then you get into social mediaand the comparisons and who's
doing what and who looks likewhat and all those things and we
just we lose that connection towhat do I actually want, not
(24:24):
what is the world telling me Ishould want, but what do?
I want Coming back home to.
That can be really powerful fora lot of people.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh yeah, I think it's interesting how much clarity we
can get after we sit throughthat discomfort of stillness and
allow whatever to kind of comeup.
And I know, like people talkabout meditation and how it's
just not for them and I'mactually, you know, with chronic
ADD, like I'm definitelysomebody who it takes a while
(24:55):
for things the chatter thatdoesn't matter to kind of come
and go then be able to reallyaccess that stillness, but it is
so important.
So if somebody is listeningright now and or if they're
watching and they're like Idon't even know where to begin
in this process, I have this,like you know, deep feeling,
something resonating, that I'mjust ready for this shift.
(25:18):
You know, I feel like I'm inhere but I'm not out in that
world.
How did they begin to take thatfirst step today?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So I actually steal this from another coach that you
and I both have spent some timewatching.
But she does a journalingexercise, sort of a meditation
to a certain degree, aboutcreating this vision of yourself
right For her.
(25:48):
She does more business andmoney stuff, so she talks about
sort of the wealthy womanmindset.
I talk a little bit more in mycoaching about what does a
healthy woman look like for you,but depending on what change
you make, that could be defineddifferently.
But I think it's reallyimportant to sit down quietly,
(26:08):
take some breaths, be in a spacethat feels good and comfortable
and just start to really,really visualize who is this
person.
Five years down the road, 10years down the road that I want
to be, and I think it's bigger.
And I have clients that reallystruggle with doing this because
they'll give me back this like,well, she's 10 pounds lighter
(26:31):
and she, um, you know, makes aseveral thousand dollars more
per paycheck and that's it.
And I want you to go deeper.
I want to know in the morning,when you first hit consciousness
, like your eyes haven't evenopened yet, you're just waking
up in bed.
What do you hear?
(26:51):
What do you feel?
What's going on around you?
I want you to get deep into whois this person, you know, like
what?
what does her life look like?
What or she or he?
I work primarily with women, soI always say, um, what do I do
when I get up?
How am I feeling about that?
(27:11):
What am I seeing?
I mean just a real vision of ifI embody who it is I want to to
be.
What does that look like?
And I think from there thegoals come very easily.
Right, because now we'vestepped in, we've felt it, and
now I can look at that and say,okay, well, the first step, or
(27:35):
you work with someone, the firststep to even inching towards
that would be what?
And then we start moving fromthere.
But I think, again, talkingabout that like barreling
forward, not even knowing whereI'm going, I think that first
step is what is it that I amactually wanting?
What does that?
look like from my own eye view,not from anybody else, you know
(28:01):
and then I think that starts tounfold very naturally from there
.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So I think that's going to be a really good part
too is how to embody that, thatI, that ideal, authentic self,
because I think that is such adifficult concept for people to
grasp.
But when you actuallyunderstand it and put it into
(28:26):
just a bite-sized action, itdoes start unfolding very easily
.
It's that first step and again,like change, change actually
manifests itself if we take thatvery inspired action
consistently.
So maybe embodiment, like it'sthis one facet of that, of that
(28:48):
future self that you embody thatday that actually gets the, the
ball rolling into that change.
But it's, it's this change step, but it feels like this when
you don't understand it.
So I would love to bring you onto talk more about, like
mindful embodiment of that, thatvisualization of your future
(29:09):
self.
Yeah, that's actually kind oflike that, that self's here
today.
It just doesn't know how totake that first step.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
So would that be something you'd be interested in
coming on and helping process?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, let's do it, that'd be great.
Yeah, so is there anything elseyou would like to share with
our listeners or viewers aroundreinventing yourself or coming
back to your truest self?
Anything else you'd like toshare?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
You know, I think I think what I have always taken
from big changes, I meanstarting in college.
I clearly remember the day Iwent to college to be a teacher
and I clearly remember the day Ihad to call home and tell them
that I don't know what I wasthinking.
I did not want to be a teacherand we had gone through like a
whole year of college.
At this point, that was notwhat I wanted to do and, looking
(30:00):
back on that moment, that feltlike such a crisis and like I
could be completely upending mywhole life and making the wrong
decision.
And I think now, being in myforties and looking back and
seeing multiples of thosechanges happen, you really I
mean, don't get me wrong.
We can make mistakes, of course, but I don't think we ever
(30:21):
really screw it up.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there's always 95% of thetime, if we've made a bad choice
, it's fixable.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
So I think Right, and it's part of the lessons we're
here to learn, right, it's partof the wisdom we're bringing.
But I have to say I don't thinkI ever knew that you went to
school as an education major.
That is hilarious, I have totell the listeners and the
viewers.
Like Kristen and I met when Iwas in grad school over a common
(30:54):
you know thing that we wereboth interested in, and we met
each other and it was like, ohhi, I'm Christine, I'm Kristen.
Oh, oh, I, you know, enjoy thishobby.
Oh, me too.
Oh, I was, I'm, you know, I'm apsychologist.
I was like, oh, I'm in gradschool for to become a therapist
.
It was the funniest thing forus to kind of.
So now I know we both went intoour undergrads as education
(31:18):
majors too.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I actually ended up teaching, but you're uh, no, no,
I didn't make it out ofundergrad.
I didn't make it out of thefirst year before.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I was like.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
this is not for me at all, but that was terrifying.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, Terrifying to be like, even at that age, yeah,
like at that age, probably like19 years old, 1920 being like
how you know this isn't rightfor me, but how do I like, how
do I securely change from here?
And you know like I was talkingto you, you had a support
system and understanding.
(31:52):
You know family members thatwould like do it.
But yeah, even at that point,feeling that stuckness and fear
of failure or fear of whatthat's going to bring, you know
it's across the lifespan.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
So yeah, but I think it's important for us to
remember that, like it's life,like we're, most of the time, we
are not going to screw it up soroyally that like we can't come
back from it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's going to be okay .
Speaker 2 (32:19):
You know, uh, most of the time I mean yeah.
So I just think sometimes thatcan be very comforting.
I wish that I had realized thatback at 19, because I would
have been significantly lessstressed out that it's really
going to be okay.
So I think that that's animportant thing to carry with
you if you are starting to thinkabout making a change in life.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
you know you know, and I think that as a collective
like we feel so much more seenand heard and witnessed went by
somebody who we know has hadchallenges that would look like
a failure or would look like itwas a huge mistake, but
navigated that to have wisdom.
Like we kind of want to go tothose places and those people
(33:07):
that we know has had thatexperience of deep change so
they can witness us in there.
So, you know, I always say youknow the people who have had the
failures and the mistakes andyet you see them in a, in a
place today.
Those are kind of the peoplethat they understand something
about that depth and they'rethat's really their gift to
(33:29):
share, you know, with the world,so as you're in it yourself,
knowing that, ooh, there's goingto be something here that I'm
going to be able to share withother people you know, and not
look much from a place of fear,but of of learning and growth.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
So yeah, yeah, a hundred percent yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, I am so excited to have you today.
I know we're going to have apart two because, as you were
talking about that, I was likeyou know what that is, such a
concept we could break down andreally help people understand
how to do that, because I knowwhen I talk to clients about
that they're like what do youmean so far?
But again, it comes from thatstillness, right, it comes from
being in that stillness to hearit.
So I'm so excited to have youon today.
(34:08):
I have, I have to tell you all,like in having Kristen in my
life and just being able to talkto her about my own stuff, have
time and spaces where we, youknow kind of process through
what's going on in our lives.
She is just a wealth ofknowledge, of understanding, of
care, and she is just amazing towork with.
So we're going to put all ofher platforms that you can find
(34:31):
her on.
Any additional links that shewould like to share will be down
there in the bio anddescription.
So thank you, kristen, forjoining us today and for sharing
with us.
We can't wait to have you back.
Of course, I loved being here.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Thank you for having me, and I am looking forward to
doing it again.
And, by the way, it is nosurprise that we are.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
you and I would talk and then get to a place where we
have to talk more, I know,because that is very us, but
then run out of time right?
Yes, exactly.
All run out of time, right?
Yes, exactly All right.
Friends, thank you for joiningus today and we'll see you next
time on.
Thank you.
Hello and welcome to, and Still we Rise.
I am your host, ChristineSeidel, and today I have our
guest, Kristen Heck.
Welcome, Kristen.
Thank you Lovely to have you.
To get started, I would love tojust read a little bit of your
bio, if that's okay with you.
It's okay with you.
(00:26):
Kristen Heck is a licensedclinical psychologist turned
certified health coach andfitness instructor, based in
Beaufort, Georgia.
With over a decade ofexperience specializing in
women's health, body image andeating disorders in clinical and
treatment settings, she nowempowers women, especially those
in midlife, with a unique blendof mental health and
sustainable fitness andnutrition strategies.
After transitioning intoprivate coaching, Kristen
(00:49):
created Healthy as Heck, aholistic lifestyle brand
offering personalized healthprograms, menopause-focused
coaching and private yogasessions.
Her credentials include a PsyDin clinical psychology, a
certified health coach,certified menopause coaching
specialist, precision nutritionlevel one, and she's a 200-hour
(01:11):
registered yoga instructor.
Driven by her passion of seeingwomen feel strong, balanced and
confident, Kristen blendsevidence-based mindset work with
physical training to supportlong-term well-being, and she
offers both virtual andin-person coaching sessions.
Welcome, Kristen lens.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Evidence-based mindset work with physical
training to support long-termwell-being, and she offers both
virtual and in-person coachingsessions.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Welcome, kristen, thank you, excited to be here.
Long list of achievements, mygoodness, I've been busy, you
have been busy, you have beenbusy and I have to say you know,
to our listeners and to ourviewers, I've known Kristen us
for several years and I alwaysfind her to be just like a
wealth of knowledge.
Even before this recording I'mI'm coming to her being like
girl.
I'm feeling this, I'm feelingthat what's going on with me?
(01:53):
So we've had lots ofconversations like that.
They go both ways absolutelyyeah, for all of us and
everything we talk about, forsure.
So I know, today you know wewould love to have you back
because you have such a wideknowledge and understanding of a
lot of the things, especiallylike midlife transitions, and so
(02:14):
you know we'll have you backover a period of time.
But today we're talking about aconversation, a topic that I
think can resonate with all ofus, and that is the topic of
reinventing yourself.
So, to kick it off, what doesthat actually mean?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Good question.
I think it's different fordifferent people, but I, when I
look at people who are sort ofreinventing themselves, I see it
as bigger than just decidingyou're going to make a change
like a job change, or you'regoing to change your hair or
(02:53):
something like that.
Reinventing yourself, to me, isa fundamental shift in how you
see yourself, how you live yourlife, how you look at your goals
, all those little daily habits.
I think there's just a massiveshifting of all of that, which
is a little bit deeper than justthe small shifts that we make
(03:18):
every now and then, you know.
So that's how I look at it.
I just think it's a deeperchange in who you are and how
you operate in the world.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Right, so maybe like a deeper resonance of making a
shift or making a change.
Yeah, so you know in yourexperience how would you say
these drives or these desirescome about for reinvention.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I think they're different for everybody.
I think sometimes there's anexternal cause to it.
I think sometimes losing jobsor having babies or getting
married or leaving a marriage orrelationship changes in general
, I think all those things cancause us to step back and
(04:06):
reevaluate a little bit.
But I also think sometimes Idon't have a better way of
saying this but I thinksometimes we just get sick of
ourselves, you know, like we getsick of our own stories, we get
sick of our own excuses, we getsick of living in ways that
don't feel like they align, andI think after a while of living
(04:27):
that way, we all sort of havethis moment where we stop and
start to ask ourselves is thiswhat it's going to look like for
the rest of my life?
And if the answer isn't onethat makes you excited, I think
sometimes we start to feel likewe have to make a bigger change
than what we've been doing.
If that makes sense, or do itdifferently maybe.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, and I feel like , you know, culturally, we kind
of have this identifier of likemidlife crisis and you know,
everybody is like, oh, as Ienter my 40s, am I going to like
what, am I going to implode atthis point?
But I, I think what you'resaying is like this is this this
deeper level resonance that wewere kind of reflecting what,
(05:11):
what and how we're showing up inlife to see if that really is
authentic to us and and I thinkthat there's probably so many
different times and and markersin our life that we kind of do
that, maybe subconsciously, um,but I think you're talking about
is is really being conscious ofsomething.
(05:31):
Here.
I'm ready to shift and changeinto alignment of what's really
myself, rather than I'm feeling,you know, like you know I'm
questioning things and now I'mgoing to go and implode my life
and see what does it.
You know, with that, with thatkind of, you know, traditional
(05:52):
or cultural belief of like amidlife crisis or whatever.
So you know, and I think thatthat can be anything from like
people you know, especiallycoming out of like childhood and
being, you know, in theirparents' care, then start
realizing, you know, I don'tknow if this like belief really
aligns with me, so let me goseek something else.
Or, you know, even I think, aswomen will like you know, I
(06:15):
think the funny meme is like youcan always tell when a woman's
about to go through a breakupbecause her hair changes
drastically.
You know, so you know, but Ithink what you know, what we're
going to talk about today, isthat feeling of stuckness, where
you're kind of reflecting whereyou are to your authenticity
and your own alignment andreally making this conscious
change or conscious decision tomake that change?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, absolutely, and I don't.
I do think we talk about it alot in midlife, but I don't
think it's really primarily amidlife thing.
I mean, if I look back atpivotal moments in my life, they
actually weren't midlife.
Because I'm in mid I meanthat's where I'm now, and I
(07:00):
think there were several ofthose moments getting here I
actually feel like midlife forsome of us and I know that's not
it's not true across the board,but some of us I think from
midlife is actually a settlingin a little bit of like oh, you
know I, I know who I am now.
So I think it can happen atdifferent times of life, you
(07:21):
know.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, can happen at different times of life, you
know, yeah.
So, like from your experience,where do you see people tend to
get stuck and how do you kind ofstart working with them through
those blocks?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
There's a lot of those places.
Personally, I know a stickypoint for me was always feeling
like if I make a change, Ifailed.
So I think that like whateverI'm leaving behind was a failure
on some level, Um, so I thinkpeople are very I think people
(08:00):
are very afraid of failure or ofbeing seen as like they failed,
um, if that makes sense.
So I think that's a stickingpoint.
I think, in general,expectations of the people that
are around us are very importantnot letting people down, or for
women.
I think struggle with this alittle bit more of not
(08:20):
disappointing people.
I think those can be really bigsticking points, Um, and I
think our own, um let me thinkabout how I want to say this our
own definition of who we arecan be a sticking point of, like
getting out of that box forourselves, Um, and honestly, a
(08:42):
lot of that work, um, which youwill be very familiar with, um
comes back to a lot of likecognitive retraining, you know
of going back and looking at ourour self-talk, our internal,
like dearly held beliefs, likewhat are those and are those?
(09:02):
are those accurate?
Can we shift those?
Can we question those?
Can we?
Are those accurate?
Can we shift those?
Can we question those?
Can we look at thosedifferently?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
And I think once that world opens up the world's a
little bit your oyster, you knowwhen you yeah yeah, well and I
think that's that's a greatpoint is oftentimes that kind of
like desire, that percolatingof like something isn't aligned
here.
Really, is this drawing ourattention to what?
(09:31):
What maybe have we taken onthat we believed was ours, but
may have been our conditioningor a belief system from
childhood that was maybeprojected upon us, or you know,
we start kind of grappling inthat stuckness of like yes, but
this is what I should want to door this is what I've told I,
(09:53):
you know, I've been told.
So it kind of like this likeexternal, like image, versus
this internal kind of desire,and so I think that is know,
when I work with eithertreatment resistant or people
who, even somatically, they'relike something's coming up in my
body, whether it's panic or youknow some chronic pain, it's
(10:16):
like this drawing of theirattention to something that
maybe they haven't really beenconsciously you know, really
aware of the cognitive beliefsystems or the mindset that
they've been running on thatreally isn't aligned with their
authentic, true self.
(10:36):
Yeah, so how do you begin likeworking with that mindset, with
clients to, to shift that?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You know, I always feel like, no matter what you do
, awareness is always your firststep, right?
So I feel like and I'm sure yousee this all the time too we
all, we all run around all dayoperating under this chatter,
that's happening in our brainsand we don't even know what's
(11:04):
happening.
you know, it's just so automaticand it's just there all the
time and we don't even we're notaware of what's even happening
in our thoughts all day long.
So I really feel like some ofthe biggest shifts that I've
seen in clients often happenjust like this, like we just
happened to be talking aboutsomething and I'll catch
(11:25):
something that somebody says andI'm like wait, mirroring and
hearing it back, and they'relike, well, wait a minute,
that's not, that's not how Irealized I even looked at
something.
You know, like that awarenesscan be such a big shift into
looking at life differently,cause you didn't even realize
(11:45):
you were walking around holdingon to this leaf, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I think that's where it starts is.
You know, I mean that's a whole,that's a big, you know,
catalyst to the work I do withclients is like being in a place
that that can pick up yourpatterns that you are so unaware
of.
In in, in having conversations,you know, where you aren't fully
(12:11):
conscious of the things you'resaying, but somebody has been
trained to pick up on thosesubconscious patterns and belief
systems that you just operateare operating on every single
day.
And that's why it is reallyimportant to, as you kind of
come to this process and workwith a professional, you know if
you're going to the same.
You know people that have maybehave been a part of that
(12:33):
conditioning or they, you knowthey find connection with you in
that condition they're notgoing to be able to pick up on
those patterns because thosepatterns are actually things
that they operate under too.
So it is really important whenyou are feeling that desire to
be in a place that can pick upon the pattern and then mirror
(12:55):
that back to you for what itactually is the distortion.
So I think that's a veryimportant step, yeah, and it's
tricky.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that's a very important step, yeah, and it's
tricky.
You know, like having peoplearound you that can validate how
you feel is wonderful, right,yeah, yeah, having someone
that's like I get it.
I feel that way too.
Those are great things andthose are great people to have
in your corner.
I always, um, my friends.
I laugh a little bit because Ikind of know who to go to for
(13:27):
what, right, like I have thosefriends that are super like, oh
my.
God, I totally get it and whowill just meet me where I am and
, you know, love me through it.
And then I also have friendsthat I know when I need to like
have a bit of a kick in the butt, like those are the people I
need to call.
They're going to be like oh my,you got to stop.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, exactly, they're like.
Let me tell you what I'mhearing.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like you're in your head, you're this, you're that,
but that mirroring of I'm goingto give this back to you and
we're going to talk about howthat does not fit who you are or
where you're going on any level, and let's have a real
conversation about that, anylevel, and let's have a real
conversation about that.
So I think both things are soimportant and you're right, I
(14:12):
think sometimes we get a littlebit comfortable being around
people who only do thevalidating part, because having
people mirror back somethingelse is uncomfortable, right,
and now we've got to do the work, and that's scary yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Once you see it for what it actually is like, once
you see it for its reality, itis really hard to kind of put it
back into the box and be likeget back in there, right Cause I
always tell people I mean, youcan like look at it now or you
can look at it later, but thatbox is going to be opened up.
And I think I think you'reright, you need both.
(14:43):
You need a place where you knowthey're trained to pick up on
what is subconsciously beingkind of operating your life.
And then also the people thatyou know validate your feelings
and are part of your supportsystem, like both of those are
important and needed, so thatyou know, one, supported in in
(15:04):
the change that you want to make, and two, that there's a lot of
clarity in what that change isfrom your, from your own
authority and your ownauthenticity.
So, yeah, so you know, knowingthat like shifting that mindset
and like seeing it for what itactually is.
You know, and from thetherapeutic model we say, you
know, oftentimes that's areality distortion or it's a
(15:27):
cognitive distortion and itreally is about shifting it back
into what's going to reallykind of propel you to the change
that you want.
But, like you said, sometimespeople are kind of like, oh, I
don't know if I want to see thator I don't know if I'm ready to
make that change.
So, yeah, how do you supportclients that maybe feel, like
(15:50):
you know, resistant to thatchange?
Maybe they feel like it's toolate, or you know it's going to
disrupt other relationships orthey're afraid of like even
putting themselves out there.
So there's a little bit of thatlike avoidance as a defense
mechanism, like what.
How do you support clientsthrough that?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I mean, I think we all make change in our own time,
right?
So I think if someone's notready to make a change, that's
okay, you know, like we don't.
There's no, there is notimeline, and I I do think
people get very worried aboutthat.
I've been worried about that atdifferent points in my life
that it's too late to dosomething.
I'm a firm believer and I haveto come back and remind myself
(16:32):
of this over and over again thatif we are here and we are still
living and breathing and doingthat, we're not late.
I mean, there's there's stilllife to be lived so we can make
changes at any point.
But I also think that if we'renot ready, then maybe there's a
(16:53):
reason we're not ready, right.
So there's something that westill need to do some work on,
or there's maybe somerestructuring in our support
system or in the way our lifeworks that needs to happen, to
open up the space for thatchange to happen.
And that may not be somethingthat can change right now.
You know, I mean for me, if Ithink about it as a mom, um,
(17:17):
there are changes that maybe Iwould like to make that just
aren't going to happen right inthis moment, because it's summer
and my kids are home andthere's just a lot going on.
So maybe if right now I wasthinking about making a massive
change, today might not be theday, and that's okay, but like
(17:37):
we can still talk about it andprep for it and talk about the
pros and cons and problem solveand then at some point, when I
know this is the time, then wecan make that change.
Right, I think the danger it'sa little bit of a double-edged
sword, because I think we canalso say it's not the right time
forever.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
So that's, yeah, that's avoidant.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So, like there's also a point right, when, hopefully,
someone around you or you haveto look at yourself and be like
it's never going to be perfect,right, like the stars are never
going to align at exactly theright place, like sometimes we
just need to step out of it anddo it.
And that's tough, you know, andthat requires some bravery,
which can be challenging, andthat's another place to talk
(18:22):
through and work on, you know,and that requires some bravery,
which can be challenging, andthat's another place to talk
through and work on, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I examine that, yeah, and I, and I think that you
know it's important for you knowthe listeners and the viewers
to understand, like if you're ina place of stuckness and you're
going to see a professional tokind of work through this
feeling of stuckness, like ifthey if they are, you know, a
really, you know solidpractitioner.
(18:49):
They don't have skin in thegame of your change.
They're just there to be aplace of reflection for you and
to support you when you're ready.
Like, like you said, if there'sa place where you know change
is really like hard but youstill desire it, there's
something there that is ready togrow and to be, to be curated
(19:12):
into knowledge, but it mighttake more time.
I know for myself, like when Ihave felt really stuck in
something, I feel like I'm atthis threshold where it's like
this is where I am and this iswhere I want to be.
What I've experienced isoftentimes that feeling and this
is where I want to be.
What I've experienced isoftentimes that feeling of
stuckness is is really the spacewhere I'm gaining more clarity
on what direction I go.
Because, just like you know, oneside of the spectrum you can be
(19:36):
avoidant.
On the other side of thespectrum you can be chaotically
changing.
I'm going to go in thisdirection and then now I'm going
to, you know I'm going to belike I'm going to be an
influencer and now, nope, nowI'm going to be a, you know,
intuitive healer and, like you,can have this like kind of
(19:56):
almost trial and error throughchange, and that's actually the
opposite of like avoidancethrough change, and that's
actually the opposite of likeavoidance.
It's this chaotic, you know,trying on different things to
see what sticks, because you'reactually not listening and
stilling yourself enough tolearn.
Through that stuckness it'slike, oh, I hate the feeling of
being stuck, so let me just outthere and and and do stuff so
(20:21):
that I can see what feels right,versus let me stay in this
threshold to gain more wisdomaround it.
And that's something I've kindof own experiences to like when
that feeling of stuck is there,be in the spaces to hear what
maybe that old story is or thatold mindset that needs to kind
of be re-examined so that thetrue authentic mindset, the true
(20:47):
authentic self will be.
What steps through it?
So I think that's an importantdistinction and that going to
places with professionalshopefully they're not pressuring
you to do that change now.
That shouldn't be happening inthose spaces, but you know, I
know in some places it can.
(21:08):
But knowing that you know, aspractitioners, we we don't have
these timelines for our clients.
We're just there to be areflected space of what, what it
is that we're hearing in termsof those patterns.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You reminded me of a passage that I read sometimes at
the end of a yoga class, and Idon't remember the whole thing,
but there's a piece in it thatsays as many times as I catch
myself barreling forward withouteven knowing where I'm going,
that many times I can stop andbreathe.
and recenter and tap into thesystem is essentially where it
goes.
But when you were talking aboutit, it brought me back to the
(21:46):
place where I feel like a lot ofpeople skip because again, it's
hard and it's uncomfortable.
But that mindfulness piece oflike stepping back, connecting
back into our heart space, intoour bodies, and just being aware
of what's going on right now,whatever it may be, and letting
that intuition and that wisdomguide you, versus just this ping
(22:11):
pong action of I feeluncomfortable.
So I just need to go dosomething to fix that
uncomfortable feeling ratherthan just sitting with it and
being curious about what that is, and then, once we've worked
through that, making a choicefrom a wise place to take this
next step, which is very, verydifferent energy.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
It is very different, different energy, and I think
that even comes back to thetopic of like.
Is this really reinventingyourself?
Or is, through that process ofstillness, listening?
Is it coming back to self andcoming back to that authentic,
you know, true self thatprobably has always been there
but has learned through all thedifferent phases of of our lives
(22:57):
?
Like I, I tell my partner allthe time I'm like I feel like
I've lived a thousand livesalready, that's for sure, right,
I'm like wow, like what, how amI, you know, only at this place
, like at this age, I feel likeI've lived a thousand lives.
But you know really thatreinventing self is coming back
to hear what's really actuallywithin you, which you know.
(23:20):
Sometimes that stillness isuncomfortable and people will
avoid it.
Or sometimes that stillness isuncomfortable and people will go
out there and chaotically tryto look externally for who they
should be.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So, it's.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's an interesting spectrum of of how that
stillness can be superuncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Oh, yeah, yeah, but so important because I think I
think it's imperative and in ourworld I increasingly, and
probably more so than we've everbeen, I think we're just so
disconnected from ourselves,right, like we're on our phones
24 hours a day.
Um, we are getting bombardedwith news and drama and all I
(24:03):
mean we are constantlyexternally focused, always.
So I think we're so disconnectedfrom and even you know, and
then you get into social mediaand the comparisons and who's
doing what and who looks likewhat and all those things and we
just we lose that connection towhat do I actually want, not
(24:24):
what is the world telling me Ishould want, but what do?
I want Coming back home to.
That can be really powerful fora lot of people.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh yeah, I think it's interesting how much clarity we
can get after we sit throughthat discomfort of stillness and
allow whatever to kind of comeup.
And I know, like people talkabout meditation and how it's
just not for them and I'mactually, you know, with chronic
ADD, like I'm definitelysomebody who it takes a while
(24:55):
for things the chatter thatdoesn't matter to kind of come
and go then be able to reallyaccess that stillness, but it is
so important.
So if somebody is listeningright now and or if they're
watching and they're like Idon't even know where to begin
in this process, I have this,like you know, deep feeling,
something resonating, that I'mjust ready for this shift.
(25:18):
You know, I feel like I'm inhere but I'm not out in that
world.
How did they begin to take thatfirst step today?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So I actually steal this from another coach that you
and I both have spent some timewatching.
But she does a journalingexercise, sort of a meditation
to a certain degree, aboutcreating this vision of yourself
right For her.
(25:48):
She does more business andmoney stuff, so she talks about
sort of the wealthy womanmindset.
I talk a little bit more in mycoaching about what does a
healthy woman look like for you,but depending on what change
you make, that could be defineddifferently.
But I think it's reallyimportant to sit down quietly,
(26:08):
take some breaths, be in a spacethat feels good and comfortable
and just start to really,really visualize who is this
person.
Five years down the road, 10years down the road that I want
to be, and I think it's bigger.
And I have clients that reallystruggle with doing this because
they'll give me back this like,well, she's 10 pounds lighter
(26:31):
and she, um, you know, makes aseveral thousand dollars more
per paycheck and that's it.
And I want you to go deeper.
I want to know in the morning,when you first hit consciousness
, like your eyes haven't evenopened yet, you're just waking
up in bed.
What do you hear?
(26:51):
What do you feel?
What's going on around you?
I want you to get deep into whois this person, you know, like
what?
what does her life look like?
What or she or he?
I work primarily with women, soI always say, um, what do I do
when I get up?
How am I feeling about that?
(27:11):
What am I seeing?
I mean just a real vision of ifI embody who it is I want to to
be.
What does that look like?
And I think from there thegoals come very easily.
Right, because now we'vestepped in, we've felt it, and
now I can look at that and say,okay, well, the first step, or
(27:35):
you work with someone, the firststep to even inching towards
that would be what?
And then we start moving fromthere.
But I think, again, talkingabout that like barreling
forward, not even knowing whereI'm going, I think that first
step is what is it that I amactually wanting?
What does that?
look like from my own eye view,not from anybody else, you know
(28:01):
and then I think that starts tounfold very naturally from there
.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So I think that's going to be a really good part
too is how to embody that, thatI, that ideal, authentic self,
because I think that is such adifficult concept for people to
grasp.
But when you actuallyunderstand it and put it into
(28:26):
just a bite-sized action, itdoes start unfolding very easily
.
It's that first step and again,like change, change actually
manifests itself if we take thatvery inspired action
consistently.
So maybe embodiment, like it'sthis one facet of that, of that
(28:48):
future self that you embody thatday that actually gets the, the
ball rolling into that change.
But it's, it's this change step, but it feels like this when
you don't understand it.
So I would love to bring you onto talk more about, like
mindful embodiment of that, thatvisualization of your future
(29:09):
self.
Yeah, that's actually kind oflike that, that self's here
today.
It just doesn't know how totake that first step.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
So would that be something you'd be interested in
coming on and helping process?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, let's do it, that'd be great.
Yeah, so is there anything elseyou would like to share with
our listeners or viewers aroundreinventing yourself or coming
back to your truest self?
Anything else you'd like toshare?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
You know, I think I think what I have always taken
from big changes, I meanstarting in college.
I clearly remember the day Iwent to college to be a teacher
and I clearly remember the day Ihad to call home and tell them
that I don't know what I wasthinking.
I did not want to be a teacherand we had gone through like a
whole year of college.
At this point, that was notwhat I wanted to do and, looking
(30:00):
back on that moment, that feltlike such a crisis and like I
could be completely upending mywhole life and making the wrong
decision.
And I think now, being in myforties and looking back and
seeing multiples of thosechanges happen, you really I
mean, don't get me wrong.
We can make mistakes, of course, but I don't think we ever
(30:21):
really screw it up.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there's always 95% of thetime, if we've made a bad choice
, it's fixable.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
So I think Right, and it's part of the lessons we're
here to learn, right, it's partof the wisdom we're bringing.
But I have to say I don't thinkI ever knew that you went to
school as an education major.
That is hilarious, I have totell the listeners and the
viewers.
Like Kristen and I met when Iwas in grad school over a common
(30:54):
you know thing that we wereboth interested in, and we met
each other and it was like, ohhi, I'm Christine, I'm Kristen.
Oh, oh, I, you know, enjoy thishobby.
Oh, me too.
Oh, I was, I'm, you know, I'm apsychologist.
I was like, oh, I'm in gradschool for to become a therapist
.
It was the funniest thing forus to kind of.
So now I know we both went intoour undergrads as education
(31:18):
majors too.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I actually ended up teaching, but you're uh, no, no,
I didn't make it out ofundergrad.
I didn't make it out of thefirst year before.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I was like.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
this is not for me at all, but that was terrifying.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, Terrifying to be like, even at that age, yeah,
like at that age, probably like19 years old, 1920 being like
how you know this isn't rightfor me, but how do I like, how
do I securely change from here?
And you know like I was talkingto you, you had a support
system and understanding.
(31:52):
You know family members thatwould like do it.
But yeah, even at that point,feeling that stuckness and fear
of failure or fear of whatthat's going to bring, you know
it's across the lifespan.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
So yeah, but I think it's important for us to
remember that, like it's life,like we're, most of the time, we
are not going to screw it up soroyally that like we can't come
back from it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's going to be okay .
Speaker 2 (32:19):
You know, uh, most of the time I mean yeah.
So I just think sometimes thatcan be very comforting.
I wish that I had realized thatback at 19, because I would
have been significantly lessstressed out that it's really
going to be okay.
So I think that that's animportant thing to carry with
you if you are starting to thinkabout making a change in life.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
you know you know, and I think that as a collective
like we feel so much more seenand heard and witnessed went by
somebody who we know has hadchallenges that would look like
a failure or would look like itwas a huge mistake, but
navigated that to have wisdom.
Like we kind of want to go tothose places and those people
(33:07):
that we know has had thatexperience of deep change so
they can witness us in there.
So, you know, I always say youknow the people who have had the
failures and the mistakes andyet you see them in a, in a
place today.
Those are kind of the peoplethat they understand something
about that depth and they'rethat's really their gift to
(33:29):
share, you know, with the world,so as you're in it yourself,
knowing that, ooh, there's goingto be something here that I'm
going to be able to share withother people you know, and not
look much from a place of fear,but of of learning and growth.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
So yeah, yeah, a hundred percent yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, I am so excited to have you today.
I know we're going to have apart two because, as you were
talking about that, I was likeyou know what that is, such a
concept we could break down andreally help people understand
how to do that, because I knowwhen I talk to clients about
that they're like what do youmean so far?
But again, it comes from thatstillness, right, it comes from
being in that stillness to hearit.
So I'm so excited to have youon today.
(34:08):
I have, I have to tell you all,like in having Kristen in my
life and just being able to talkto her about my own stuff, have
time and spaces where we, youknow kind of process through
what's going on in our lives.
She is just a wealth ofknowledge, of understanding, of
care, and she is just amazing towork with.
So we're going to put all ofher platforms that you can find
(34:31):
her on.
Any additional links that shewould like to share will be down
there in the bio anddescription.
So thank you, kristen, forjoining us today and for sharing
with us.
We can't wait to have you back.
Of course, I loved being here.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Thank you for having me, and I am looking forward to
doing it again.
And, by the way, it is nosurprise that we are.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
you and I would talk and then get to a place where we
have to talk more, I know,because that is very us, but
then run out of time right?
Yes, exactly.
All run out of time, right?
Yes, exactly All right.
Friends, thank you for joiningus today and we'll see you next
time on.
Thank you.
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