Episode Three: Unstuck

 

Feeling stuck? Does life feel like its never going to change. Your circumstances will always remain the same? In this episode, we dive into how to MOVE out of that ditch and become UNSTUCK.

 

Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:15):
Welcome to and in. It's a podcast where we look at what
comes after the struggle a toughseason or setback. My name is
Susie cheapen. And I'mabsolutely passionate about
helping people transform fromstruggle and surviving to
absolutely thriving. Today,we're gonna dive into the topic
of being stuck, like, Do youknow what I mean? That feeling

(00:35):
like, Oh, my life is alwaysgoing to be this way, my
relationship will never change,my business will never grow. My
clothes will always be tootight. And I'm always always
going to be strugglingfinancially. Or maybe it's not
any of those things. But maybeit's the routine of day to day
life. And it's just come ratherboring and monotonous and lacks

(00:57):
any kind of variety or anythingto look forward to. And you ask
yourself like, wow, surelythere's more to life? You know,
surely I was made for more?
Well, today, we're going to diveinto some strategies on how to
get unstuck and help you takespecific steps to gain traction,
make progress and change yourstory. Have you ever literally

(01:18):
been physically stuck before?
Recently, I went to dinner withmy husband and one of my sons. I
got up and went to the restroom,I quickly shut the door behind
me. I locked it. And when it wastime to exit the restroom, I
guess I had somehow overlookedthe fact that the lock was the

(01:40):
only thing left on the door knobhandle. There was no handle.
There was just a little roundpiece. There was no lever to
press down on there was no knobto turn. There was just a simple
little round thing that lockedthe door. I had locked myself in
the restroom. Okay, no big deal.
Twist the little circle, twist,twist. My fingers keeps slipping

(02:04):
in. The grip wasn't there. Andit dawned on me. I was
physically stuck. And ratherquickly. Those four walls began
to just cave in on me and panicset set in. Like, oh my
goodness, I'm stuck. I'm in abathroom prison. You know, time

(02:27):
to brainstorm option one. WhileI had entered that restroom,
absolutely was zero plans ofcrawling on a bathroom floor
that night. going underneath adoor if necessary, was not
beneath me. Except there's aproblem. This door goes floor to

(02:47):
ceiling. There's no gap. Where'sthe gap? Now I know why there is
a gap. Okay, option two. Maybesomebody's going to come in here
and rescue me from this prison.
And then I remember when wewalked in, was early. We were

(03:10):
one of the only table seated thechance that somebody was
actually going to come in there.
Slim to none. Okay, okay, whatelse? Option three? Of course,
duh. Just call my son call myhusband. Tell them about this
very serious hostage situation.
Hmm. Well, that would haveworked. I would have brought my

(03:31):
phone to the restroom. Instead,I left it on the table. Fine.
Finally. option for completedesperation. And I did ice ice
cream and I pounded on thatdoor. I was pounding loud.
Hello. Hello. Can anyone hearme? Anyone? Anyone and I'm

(03:51):
counting count pound pound poundpound on the door. Well, the
house music was so loud thatunfortunately even my loud and
very frantic pounding wasdrowned out. Okay, get a grip
Suzie is just a bathroom. It'sjust a bathroom. And getting out
of this bathroom. It is up toyou, sister. No one's coming in

(04:15):
here to rescue you from thisterrifying prison. If you want
to get unstuck, you are going tohave to figure out a way to do
it. So I patiently andmethodically went back to the
only viable option which wasturning the tiny little luck
until the door blissfullyopened. And while I'm quite

(04:38):
certain I had been in thatprison for I don't know what
like 234 hours apparently hadn'tbeen that long. My return to the
table was barely noticed. Isaid, Didn't you think I was
gone a while. And my son and myhusband just shrugged at me and
continued to eat their dinnerand they're like, Well, I mean,
you know, who knows but youmean, we didn't know what she

(05:01):
had to do in the bathroom? Oh,okay, really like I was gone a
long time guys.
The story is obviously a lightillustration, to see how
physically helpless andpowerless it can feel to be
stuck. And the reality is, mostof the times our prisons aren't
the four walls of a brokenbathroom, but walls that we

(05:24):
erect slowly over time barriersthat we create. And the
challenges seem too hard. And wefeel too powerless to overcome
them. Are you stuck right now?
Do you feel a little helpless orpowerless in a certain area of
your life that just stoppedpossible to get motion. I
recently found myself in a placewhere I no longer found

(05:45):
challenge or growth, as well,now might be you too, you know,
or you know, your day to daylife. Maybe it doesn't match up
with your authentic self and youfeel disconnected from your
values, you feel disconnectedfrom what's really important. Or
like we talked about earlier,maybe you just feel hopeless,
nothing's ever going to changeyour job, your spouse, the
relationship, the weight, thingswill always be this way. Why is

(06:08):
important to become unstuck? Imean, there is an alternative,
right? We could choose to staystuck. We could choose to stay
like a victim, choose to feelpowerless. Choose to feel like
we had no control over the restof our life. Man, I

(06:29):
don't know about you. But thatsounds terrible. There's no joy
that if we choose to stay stuck,what else are we leaving on the
table to write? Like, what kindof life what kind of path
could we have lived? What'sgoing to be on the other side of
that? I don't know about you.
But I don't want to have a life.
It's full of color color. I wantto know what's possible. I want

(06:51):
to see what else can I do and beokay failing in the process.
That's okay. We were created tohave purpose and complete
meaningful works. In Scripture,specifically Ephesians 210. It
says, For we are God's handiworkcreated in Christ Jesus to do
good works, which God preparedin advance for us to do. And to

(07:15):
repeat that, For we are God'shandiwork created in Christ
Jesus to do good works, whichGod prepared in advance for us
to do. I take that andpersonalize it, you, you You are
God's handiwork is beautifulcreation is one unique you. And

(07:41):
he made you for a life ofpurpose, and impact and good
works. He knows you, He createdyou. And he has already prepared
those works in advance for youto do is that amazing? What I
find so beautiful about thatpassage is that it's your own

(08:05):
personal unique journey, yourown unique race to run. You
don't need to compare your lifewith anybody else's. Those are
their works. You have your ownworks, that God's prepared just
for you. I am with you in thisjourney. Like I mentioned this
podcast, it's a result offeeling stuck, unchallenged and

(08:29):
not growing. And I have to sayit is completely terrifying to
put yourself out there. And todo something new like this. It's
it's also really exciting. It'salso life giving. And it's so
much better than staying in arut and choosing the comfort of
what I know and not moving, notmaking a change. Choosing to be

(08:52):
unstuck. It definitely meansbeing a little uncomfortable. So
now that we're ready to becomeunstuck, let's dive into the
actual strategies that will helpyou dislodge from your REBT. The
first strategy, take inventorywithout judgment. In other
words, I'm going to ask you toaudit the aspects of your life

(09:14):
that you feel stuck in andsimply record the results
without any story without anynarrative. For example, it's a
good thing to know what youweigh, right? All you have to do
is get on the scale and recordthe result. There should be no
narrative around that right.
Having a healthy weight keepsyou from a plethora of his
health issues. And plus, it'sjust more fun when you look in

(09:38):
the mirror. The scale isprogrammed to do one thing, just
spit out a very non judgmentalnumber is an accurate
representation of what has beenplaced on it. It's a
measurement. It's nothing moreit's nothing less. Well, in
theory at least, you know, Itake the Scale next level, and

(09:59):
create an entire narrative andstory around the number it spits
out. My number says this number,it's about your worth. Do you
ever do that? I look at thenumber in a whole series of
things begins to happen. My selftalk goes nuts. So how could you

(10:20):
let yourself get to this gross,just completely filled with self
loathing. Rather than using thescale as a tool to measure me to
take action, I'm like, let'sjust push you to the very back
of the closet underneath allthese hanging clothes, where I

(10:41):
can't see you. Because I'drather not see it, then get in
it and have to deal with thenarrative.
It's only until I remove thatnarrative around the number. So
it's just a number. It's ameasurement of the now it's not
permanent. It's not about myworth. It's just a number. And

(11:06):
that's the first way I canbecome unstuck. So it's so
important to take a measurementand audit a temperature reading
of all of the areas of your lifethat you currently feel stuck in
finances. The good and the bad.
What is the saving, say? Whatdoes retirement say? Debt? Like,
how bad is it? Or maybe it's noteven as bad as you think it is?

(11:27):
Relationship? Is it? Good? Is itgrowing? Is it challenging? Or
is it toxic? Is it depleting? Wecan't change what we don't know.
So it's important to takeinventory to know exactly where
you stand in all the areas ofyour life you might feel stuck
in. Once we've taken an audit,we can start to make some

(11:51):
progress. And the first way wecan do that is by changing the
language. Now that you have thefacts of the situation, now you
have the raw data, the score thenumbers, we can change the
language around the situation.
Very often the language mightlook like, oh, I need I should,

(12:15):
I'm going to I'm going to try.
Do you do that? I need to loseweight, or I need to work on
this aspect of the business. Ishould exercise, you know, I'm
going to try I'm going to try toeat better. I need to save
money. It's so disempowering.

(12:35):
Those words feel like an order,something that I've been
mandated or forced to do,almost, I don't know about you.
But when I feel like I need todo something, I find myself
often doing the exact opposite.
It's like this weird rebellion,the same fear relate to that.
But the language we use, it's sopowerful. And once we remove
that obligation, the bondage ofwhat we need to do and focus on

(12:58):
what we want to do. Wow, that'stransformative. The words, I'm
going to try, I really should dothat I need to do that. They
aren't attached to action, theyjust really result in giving you
some kind of false deferredsense of accomplishment. When

(13:19):
you think i need i should i willor I should I'll try. I mean,
the thing is, you're trickingyourself into believing at some
point that you're going to dosomething about that issue that
you're frustrated with. So let'swork it backwards. What do you
want? Now what do you need todo? What do you want to do?

(13:39):
Rather than say, I need to cutback I need to exercise more, I
need to do 100 burpees a day,which we both know, it's never
gonna happen. I can change thelanguage. I want to get healthy.
I want to like myself andpictures, whatever it is, I want
the power of i want is no one isobligating me, this is my

(14:03):
choice. empowering words like Ican, I can do this. I want to do
this. I choose to do this. Doyou hear how empowering that is?
Versus I need to? I'll try Ishould. Those words have no
action. It's just a form ofbondage. So let's take that

(14:27):
language and go next level andlet's put action to the
language. We know what we wantto do. And now we need to apply
the implementation and I like tocall the three W's so the third
and last strategy is apply thethree W's the what the when and
the where. Start with thebiggest area in your life you

(14:48):
feel stuck in Is it your career.
Is it your relationship is ithealth? What is the number one
area you feel You're stuck in.
And it's great to know what twoand three and four and five are.
But let's face it, if you takeon everything at once, you're
gonna get so overwhelmed,there's a good chance you're
just going to give up and behappy with being stuck. So now

(15:10):
that you know what the mostimportant thing is that you want
to do, let's apply some action.
What exactly will you do, andit's so important to be as
specific as you can down tomaybe it's the meals that you
eat, or that exercise thatyou're going to do, just being

(15:31):
as specific as possible becausewe even when we say I want to
exercise, if we don't clarifythat, then it's a fuzzy goal,
and physicals don't get don'thappen. So we need to say
something like, I want to, Iwant to take a four mile walk
this morning. Tonight, I want todo a swim, you know, being very,

(15:52):
very specific. And what are thethings that you want to
accomplish? So and then the nextpart would be when are you going
to work on it? In the morning?
In the afternoon at night? Putit in your calendar, write it
out? When will you do that? Veryspecific. What? In last? Where
are you going to do it? Are younew to home? Are you going to

(16:12):
the gym? Are you going to takethe dog for a walk? Where are
you going to do it? The moreclarity you have around your
goals, the more you know what,when and where the more you are
able and empowered to takeaction. You're making a game
plan because you want to notbecause you need to. And these
three strategies, they are goingto help you make such progress.

(16:35):
And there is such power andprogress. Benjamin Franklin said
without continual growth andprogress such words as
improvement, achievement andsuccess have no meaning. Are you
ready to have progress? Are youready to go to the next level
and get out of being stuck?

(16:57):
Let's just do a quick recap, aquick review. First, you're
going to audit have a realisticassessment of where you are
removing any judgment, anycondemnation, just seeing a
number on a scale a number inthe new retirement account,
whatever it is, it's just anumber, a number that you can
change, but at least you knowwhat it is. The second thing is
we're going to pick that onearea that we feel the most stuck

(17:19):
in and we're going to change ourlanguage, we're going to delete
the I need I should, I'm goingto replace it with I want to
choose. And last, knowing nowwhat you want more than
anything. You're beginning tobecome laser focused on the what
and the when and the where soyou can begin to make progress.
Remember, remember, you areGod's beautiful handiwork

(17:48):
created by him to do amazingworks. And he's all ready
prepared them for you inadvance. All you have to do is
step into that reality. Isn'tthat awesome? And then you'll

(18:11):
find yourself day by day feelinga little more hopeful, a little
more excited about the work infront of you a little more
excited about the future infront of you. And best of all,
you'll be her alpha, authentic,best self able to live out the
next best chapter in your life.
Doing things exactly how youwant to. I just can't wait to

(18:33):
see where you're gonna go. Ifyou'd like to take a deeper dive
on this topic, read additionalresources on how to make
progress and become unstuck.
I've listed a few books on mysocial media pages that I
personally have found excellent.
Finally, if you found today'scontent helpful, or would like

(18:54):
to share an insight, I wouldreally appreciate it if you
would drop a comment. Be sure tosubscribe, like and follow to
stay up to date with the latestepisodes. We'll see you next
time.