March 18, 2025 • 31 mins
Bad habit or full-blown vice—can you tell the difference? This episode breaks down how small slip-ups can snowball into life-altering struggles. We get real about the anxiety of juggling work and life, the sneaky ways procrastination can mess you up, and the importance of catching bad patterns early. Plus, we tackle the frustration of watching loved ones make reckless choices—whether it’s toxic relationships, gambling, or just ignoring solid advice. And for a lighter twist, we even dish out some fashion faux pas wisdom. Tune in for the tough love, the laughs, and the game plan to break bad cycles.
Meet the Hosts
Questions, Comments or Suggestions?
- Drop a message in our Question + Suggestion Box
- Hit us up at hi@anxiouswhile.com
- DM us @anxiouswhile - Instagram | TikTok | Facebook
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Emperor (00:10):
What's going on, y'all and yes, we are back.
I told y'all it's gonna be weekly.
Tevin (00:13):
I don't know if that's good or bad.
Emperor (00:15):
It's good because they want to hear us.
That's why we here. You aretuned into Anxious While. We
Tevin (00:17):
Okay.
talk about a plethora of things,from self, identity, mental
health, wellness, how it impactsall of us. I say all the time.
Being an adult, is ghetto,nothing is off limits, and we're
about to have a great time. Hi,I'm Emperor. Yes, that is my
birth name,
And I'm Tevin. And as always,welcome to our returning
(00:39):
listeners, and welcome to thenewbies as well. Let's tap in,
stay a while and let's get intoit.
Emperor (00:44):
You said, let's stay a while. Oh, that's my song by
Janet. That's a good song. Let'sStay a While?
Tevin (00:49):
I don't know if I ever heard that.
Emperor (00:51):
What?! We're gonna give you a pass. You're gonna hear
later on today.
Tevin (00:58):
So what's making you anxious for this week?
Emperor (01:00):
Uh, honestly, I'm gonna be real with you, like my
schedule has just been drivingme crazy. I know you mentioned
last week you've been living bya calendar, and it's been
helping you out. And I think I'mgonna have to start taking some
of that, because I have more onmy plate. I'm doing more at work
with personal things. You know,I am working towards some really
(01:22):
exciting things that I want toshare yet into what happens. I
like to wait till things happenbefore I share them. So I'm
waiting for that to happen, butit's been a lot of work. It's
been a lot of learning. And Idon't know about y'all, but
using your mental power isexhausting. What about you?
That sigh say it all.
Tevin (01:40):
I'm planning two big events.
Emperor (01:43):
Okay!
Tevin (01:43):
One in the US, one in Mexico.
Emperor (01:46):
You said international.
Tevin (01:47):
Yeah, I'm an international planner now.
Emperor (01:50):
Oooooh!
Tevin (01:50):
Okay.
Emperor (01:50):
Y'all heard right? all right, international.
Tevin (01:54):
Um, and they're two weeks apart, and...
Emperor (01:56):
Like a paycheck?
Tevin (01:56):
Yeah, I'll be in... I'll have to fly for five days for
each of them. I'm tired thinkingabout it, but it's exhilarating,
tiring, stressful, exciting. Iprobably said a bunch of the
same synonyms, but whatever.
Emperor (02:10):
It's on one side, and it's great, and it's stressful,
but it's exhilarating and it'swhatever. But guess what? You're
doing big moves, you're doingbig things. And it just comes
with just leveling up every day,like, you know you said last
episode that you've been sayingand doing a bunch of things
different to kind of takeyourself to the next level. And
I feel like it's working for younow. Like, look, look,
everything that's happening foryou. Gonna be a great year.
Tevin (02:31):
It is. So just getting to the topic of the day.
Emperor (02:34):
Coffee or tea?
Tevin (02:35):
Are you trying to switch the topic up?
Emperor (02:39):
I'm joking with y'all guys. So the topic of the day is
the difference between a badhabit and advice. That's gotta
be very interesting, because; A: some people don't know the (02:45):
undefined
difference; but we're gonna hityou with the definition. Explain
to you guys what's thedifference in how to potentially
help some of y'all because...
Tevin (02:54):
You know, a lot of people try to cover up their vices with
bad habits. You're like, no,it's just a bad habit. No, it's
not a baby girl. It's a vice.
Emperor (03:01):
It's a vice
Tevin (03:02):
And not Miami
Emperor (03:03):
And not advice either. Miami sounds like fun. I haven't
been there in a while, since2023. Yeah, we need to go down,
back down there. It was fun. Igot my life down there. But,
yeah, this ain't the time forthat. We just gonna give you
some advice about vices.
Tevin (03:20):
The difference between a vice and a bad habit really
comes down to the intensity, theimpact, and the intent - which
is a lot to think about.
Emperor (03:28):
It is it was a bunch of words that probably have people
spiralling right now.
Tevin (03:32):
A definition of a bad habit
Emperor (03:37):
Ooh, based off of that very specific definition. I'll
repetitive behavior that may beannoying, unproductive or mildly
harmful, but doesn't necessarilycause significant damage to your
well being or relationships.Whereas, a vice is a deeper,
be honest with a lot of people,I don't think any of them really
often compulsive or indulgentbehavior that can have more of a
profound impact on mental,emotional or physical health.
(04:06):
have bad habits. It give vice,vice and more vices, oh my gosh.
Tevin (04:12):
And I think people are probably still trying to figure
out if they have a bad habit ora vice. An example of a bad
habit can be like biting yournails, procrastinating (to an
extent), excessive phone use, orinterrupting people in
conversations.
Emperor (04:27):
That's my bad habit. I'll be interrupting people. I
don't know what it is...
Tevin (04:30):
Like now, yeah.
Emperor (04:35):
Touché, touché.
Tevin (04:36):
An example of a vice could be over-drinking, smoking,
compulsive gambling, emotionalmanipulation or self sabotage.
Whereas, like I said,procrastinating could be either,
because if you procrastinate toomuch, that can fall under
self-sabotage.
Emperor (04:50):
What about like, gluttony? People eat too much. I
mean, that can be a bad habitand it could turn into a vice.
Tevin (04:55):
It depends.
Emperor (04:56):
I think things start as bad habits and it. Turns into a
vice. I feel like that's justlike the pathway to...
Tevin (05:02):
After what, the 21-day rule it becomes a vice?
Emperor (05:05):
You know what? Cause that's when something becomes a
habit or not. So, like a goodhabit brushing your teeth, a bad
habit not brushing your teeth,but then it's
Tevin (05:13):
Is brushing your teeth a habit.
Emperor (05:15):
It needs to be habitual. Biting your nails,
like you said, yeah, the peoplewho do it, but a lot of times it
Tevin (05:22):
Yeah.
Emperor (05:23):
So then you want to figure out what that is, before
has to do with, like, nervousness,
it gets worse. It can start withbiting your nails, and it could
turn into something else. I justfeel like a lot of things start
even gambling. You can gamble.And then when it becomes
frequent, and when it starts totake over your life, and then
you start betting, you know,like your partner's wedding
(05:44):
ring, or your house, that'scrazy.
Tevin (05:45):
Yeah when it becomes compulsive.
Emperor (05:47):
Yeah, yeah. Like, I think it's just that's the main
word.
Like that video of that man inVegas.
Oh, crying on the floor. He waslike, no, no. I was like, yes,
you lost it all.
Tevin (06:01):
I was in Vegas in the end of January, and I was in the
airport coming home, and therewas a man sitting down on the
bench looking like his wholeworld just ended. I was like, I
wonder if he betted thaneverything away.
Emperor (06:12):
He did. You know that feeling you could walk past
people. You go, ugh I can feelit. You don't have to say
nothing. Silence, a lot of timesis bigger than people speaking.
I know when I went to AtlanticCity, I would never go there
now, a long, long time ago. Withsomeone who I'm not gonna
mention because...
Tevin (06:27):
No shade to Atlantic City.
Emperor (06:28):
Nope. And we're walking past, like, the strip. We went
to go eat and, like, dowhatever. You hear them I'm
like (06:32):
"I can't believe it." No shoes on their feet.
Tevin (06:35):
Sure you weren't in the Port Authority?
Emperor (06:37):
I wasn't the Port Authority. That was like,
homelessness and person like,no. Like, no. Like, these people
also don't like, they don't haveanything. Like, they probably
gambled their shoes. I'm like,you that desperate, you gambled
your shoes, so you walking onconcrete with you feet?
Tevin (06:47):
Must have been some nice shoes.
Emperor (06:49):
Well, I can't tell they don't got nothing on their feet.
That's crazy.
Tevin (06:52):
I'm sure some of them probably needed something on
their feet too.
Emperor (06:54):
Yeah, they need something. But it's, it's, it's
sad, because vices destroylives.
Tevin (06:59):
Yeah.
Emperor (06:59):
Someone who smokes cigarettes all the time? Like,
smoking cigarettes is bad. Itliterally says on the pack. It
is bad for you. It's not back inthe day when they had the
Newport thing, people was withthe Camel looking cute. Like,
that's not a thing. Like, it'sbad for you. It ages you. You
stink. It thins your hair out.It's not good for you. Like,
it's not a cool thing. You knowwhat's cool? Go to the gym. Go
(07:20):
drink some water - do something.You smoking a cigarette, like,
yeah, look at me. No,
Tevin (07:24):
Just wanna make sure we're drinking water in the
right states, but yeah.
Emperor (07:26):
Just order water.
Tevin (07:28):
Remember, we got in a whole argument with someone on
social media about where theclean water is at.
Emperor (07:32):
Well, clearly it's not where they at the way they was
responding. Just order water.
Tevin (07:35):
So just diving a little deeper into this. When you
correct a bad habit, it canoften be corrected with
self-discipline, awareness orsmall behavioral changes.
Whereas, vices are harder tobreak, and they tend to be
coping mechanisms, or it's apersonality disorder or that you
(07:56):
have, like an addictivetendency.
Emperor (08:00):
remember a long time ago, I would buy ice cream like,
every day. I'm like, Oh my gosh,I'm buying ice cream. I would
buy it, buy it, buy buy. I'mlike, You're buying ice cream
every single day. This is crazy.You're addicted to it, and you
have to, like, figure this out.And then it went from ice cream
(08:22):
to like cookies. It wassomething else. Like, you just
keep buying bad stuff like, so
Tevin (08:26):
I thought you're gonna say something else. I thought
you were gonna say, You comefrom crack to meth.
Emperor (08:32):
I know someone who jumped from weed to meth,
Tevin (08:34):
Quite a jump.
Emperor (08:35):
I don't know where they at right now. I don't know they
don't have custody of theirkids. But anyway, that's another
conversation. It can happen.People who have those type of
addictive things, they end uplike relying on vices. That's
just what it is. I've seen ithappen. I know someone who has a
terrible gambling problem. Put$2000 in the machine. Spin,
spin, spin. Win $15,000 - I'mlike, pull out $15,000 Nope.
(08:56):
Spin, spin, spin. They didn'twant to ask me, Can I borrow
$800. Absolutely not. You have$15,000.
Tevin (09:04):
I'm walking away after I win $20
Emperor (09:06):
I know you are.
Tevin (09:08):
I'm like, I could have bought something with that. I
could have got some food, gotsome socks, something tangible.
Emperor (09:14):
$20? What food you buying with $20 in New York
City?
Tevin (09:17):
A salad.
Emperor (09:17):
What you gonna get, just lettuce?
Tevin (09:19):
I can get a salad for $20.
Emperor (09:20):
Where? We ain't gonna give nobody no names.
Tevin (09:22):
I can go to SG, I can go to C, I can go to... anywhere. I
can go to get teriyaki bowl fromG.
Emperor (09:33):
A lot of letters going,
Tevin (09:34):
Yeah. And you knew exactly what all of them were.
Emperor (09:37):
I sure enough did. Mhmm. And shout out to the
alphabet
Tevin (09:42):
And also, I think the purpose between a vice and a bad
habit is also very important totalk about. Bad habits are often
unintentional, whereas a vice isfrequently tied to escapism,
self-pleasure or you'reself-medicating
Like a bad habit...
Yeah.
Emperor (09:58):
Being inconsistent. It is what it is. Something you try
to fix, you said,procrastination to an extent,
you know, overworking yourself.That could be a bad habit, but
these are things that you couldreally like fix. A lot of
people, I think, have more vicesthan bad habits.
Tevin (10:09):
Yeah.
Emperor (10:10):
And they, they probably feel it's not a vice. One that I
think that you did not mentionwas being attracted to bad
people and bad relationships. Ithink that's a vice. Thinking
Tevin (10:20):
Yeah, I missed that one toxic relationship patterns.
like...
Emperor (10:22):
Yeah, I've witnessed a lot of people who are either in
one or they continue to keepdoing it. And I just give my two
cents and I kept losing mymoney.
Tevin (10:36):
You had to go back to our previous episode. Listen to it
and worry about yourself.
Listen, I've been practicingthat before the episode, but it
did give me light to go. Youknow what? Imma mind my
business. I lost so many twocents, I could have sat there
and retired already with it. Iam minding my business. If you
decide that you want to be in atoxic relationship and you want
to argue with me as to why youwant to be in a toxic
(10:58):
relationship...
Why am I arguing with you aboutto continue to be unhealthy.
You can keep it.
Emperor (11:04):
I wish you the best. I'm not gonna lie to you. It's
Tevin (11:04):
Yeah.
really hard to see and witness.It's really bad. But this is
your choice. You are choosingone thing that God gave us was
free will. You are choosingthis. Why am I going back and
forth with you for you choosingsomething that is bad for you,
and you yelling at me about it.That makes no sense.
Emperor (11:22):
You need to mind your business.
I know we keep going back to it,but it's like you saying you
Tevin (11:22):
Yeah.
Emperor (11:23):
Okay.
Tevin (11:23):
Like maybe you should get some crack.
need to get off crack. Oh, but Ilove crack so much. I love how
it makes me feel.
Emperor (11:32):
But guess what? When I mind my business, then you want
to call me about it andcomplain. That's what drives me
crazy. You know you're in atoxic relationship. It's bad,
and you keep going and going andgoing and going, but then you
wanna call me about how toxic itis. Then why are you staying? I
gave my advice. I didn't ask youfor it. Yes, you did. You called
me if you called my phone
Tevin (11:53):
Like I done gave you everything I can give
regardless.
I gave everything. I even gaveyou a therapist hotline, and you
decided not to use it.
And I even lied and said youlived in the house with me and
gave you my EAP so you didn'thave to pay for it.
Emperor (12:08):
He ain't mean it, y'all!
Tevin (12:11):
I don't live with people who I would have to listen to
about that all the time.
Emperor (12:13):
You know, that is true, but, yeah, these vices are
crazy. I talked about thegambling. And again, I know
people who fit in all of them. Iknow people who fit in a
multitude of them, gambling andtoxic relationships.
Tevin (12:25):
Jesus Christ.
Emperor (12:25):
I know it's a lot. It's a lot. It's being unhappy a
vice. There's some people whojust want to live in just
unhappiness.
Tevin (12:32):
I think people are unknowingly addicted to being
unhappy.
Emperor (12:36):
Yes, you know what? I have to agree. And then when you
call it out, they're ready tofight you. They're not upset
because you're wrong. Whensomeone runs right to defense,
it's because someone sayssomething that shook your
foundation, and there was truthbehind it. And sometimes when
someone throws truth in yourface, you get really upset at
them, and you try to findsomething, oh, you're attacking
(12:59):
me. You did this. Wait a second,was that really there, or were
we always conditioned to grow upto the point of fact, when
someone comes at you, the firstyou do is try to say something
about how it was completelywrong. No, no, you're imagining
something that didn't happenbecause something that was said
to you, they kind of put you inyour place, diplomatically.
Well, not even that probably wasnice, and you can't take it.
(13:19):
It's sad.
Tevin (13:19):
Some people know that they are dealing with a vice, or
you know that something is avice, or they know that they're
unhappy, or whatever else, butthey are avoidant and don't want
to have to deal with it. So...
Emperor (13:33):
Because ignorance is bliss sometimes for people, and
it's not,
Tevin (13:36):
It's bliss until it's affecting your physical health.
Emperor (13:39):
But is it really bliss. How can ignorance be bliss? Are
you being ignorant? You knowthis isn't right, and I'm
telling you this isn't right,but are you telling me that I'm
wrong?
Tevin (13:48):
I mean, yes, it can be blissful, depending on what the
situation is. El Chapo's wifechose to be ignorant, and sis
was getting off of private jetsand everything. That was bliss.
Emperor (13:58):
She ain't know.
Tevin (14:00):
What she say court. She didn't know a thing.
Emperor (14:02):
She didn't know nothing. I don't... Listen. I
didn't know nothing, either. Ididn't know nothing. I still
don't know anything. Ain't shein jail right now.
Tevin (14:07):
The way you just said it sounds like you're speaking from
experience.
Emperor (14:10):
Listen, no habla Inglés.
Tevin (14:14):
A nd no, I think she got arrested because I feel like she
was like in charge of it orsomething.
Emperor (14:19):
Listen, I don't know. If she said she didn't know, she
didn't know. I'm minding mybusiness. Mmhm. Anywho.
Tevin (14:26):
I'm worried about myself, so...
Emperor (14:27):
I'm worried about myself, and what I have to do.
I've seen a lot that vicesreally stop people from really
being the authentic selves andreally from growing. It really
is. It is kind of like a drugyou're so stuck and fixated on
this vice, or become so a partof you that it forces you to
move in a different directionthan the path that you should be
Tevin (14:47):
Well, they say the impact of a bad habit is mild
dealing with.
inconvenience or inefficiency,whereas the impact of a vice can
lead to self destruction or evenharm others
Either you talk about the smokeand cigarettes are affecting you
Emperor (14:58):
Right, then you biting your nails ain't affecting me. I
might say you look crazy. Megoing mmm mmm mmm mmm. Like,
that looks crazy, but it's notimpacting me. But like you said,
like, a vice, it's affectingyour surroundings.
directly, but then you're alsoaffecting everyone else around
you with secondhand smoke.
That's interesting, because wetalk about, I said, like,
(15:18):
gluttony, someone who eats alot. Like, is it a vice? I mean,
I guess it can, like, youcontinue to eat in such a bad
manner, God forbid somethinghappens to you, pass away due to
that is going to affect everyonearound you with the after
effects.
Tevin (15:30):
Seems like gluttony depends if it's linked to stress
eating or you're if you're justa greedy person in general.
Emperor (15:37):
So people are greedy.
Tevin (15:38):
Yeah, which is a bad habit that can be changed with
discipline. Whereas, if you'restress eating and things like
that, if you're trying to escapeand pleasure yourself.
Emperor (15:49):
You're right. A simple a vice with the eating, I think
I sent you the video, but I sentit a few people - I'm a mess -
where this lady was on the couchand she pulled out something
from McDonald's, and it wasenough to feed seven people, and
she used her stomach as a table.
Tevin (16:03):
This is why I separate myself from social media. I'm
glad I didn't see that video,because I can't look at stuff
like that.
Emperor (16:11):
I became so, like, fascinated and enamored with it.
Tevin (16:15):
You were fascinated with it?
Emperor (16:16):
I was, because I was like... Because I was like,
how?! Look at me. I am notminding my business, right? You
know what profession I'm tryingto get into. So I had to, like,
I was fascinated with it. How doyou get to a point where your
stomach became your table? Like,that's a that's crazy to me.
You know, yes, but thedifference was, it probably was
Tevin (16:29):
Remember, I told you about this girl when I was in
middle school. She had a verylarge breast area, so she would
literally pick them up, put themon her desk and use them as
pillows. It's not but you talkabout the lady with the stomach
table kind of reminded me ofusing your body parts for
multiple functions.
(16:52):
natural. If y'all was in school,how big her breasts were.
I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure thatprobably wasn't also wasn't
healthy, her laying on them likethat.
Emperor (16:59):
They probably weren't.
Tevin (17:00):
So that was a bad habit.
Emperor (17:02):
On her chest was a bad habit. You having your stomach
protrude out to where I can siton it with me, you and someone
else that has food and playdominoes on it while we sitting
there chit chatting is aproblem.
Tevin (17:14):
Okay.
Emperor (17:15):
And she won while she was eating. I don't understand
how, but that's just what it is.It was bad. It's bad.
Tevin (17:20):
She was playing dominoes?
Emperor (17:22):
Anywho. So yeah, gluttony, it can go between each
depending on the circumstance.So that's right, but there are
certain things that there is nogoing back and forth.
Tevin (17:31):
I'm glad we're talking about how that gray area with
gluttony, because there are alsoother things, like scrolling
through social media. When it'sa harmless distraction, it's a
bad habit, but when you begin todoom scroll, it becomes an
addiction, because you're doomscrolling all night when you
could be sleep, and it'saffecting your sleep. And you
getting less sleep is affectingyour mental health. But also
(17:52):
doom scrolling, like worryingabout what everyone else is
doing is also affecting yourmental health because you're not
really focusing on yourself andappreciating what you have going
on.
Emperor (18:02):
And social media will set you up that way, like, if
you scroll on something that youlike, it will keep suggesting
things that it thinks that youwill like, and 99% of the time
it is correct. So you'rescrolling on something that's
catching your interest, you'relike, what else is there? What
else is there? It's likegambling. It's the "what if".
Now it's the what if. What elsecan I see? What else can I see?
Tevin (18:22):
And TikTok is a setup for that.
Emperor (18:24):
Yeah, it really, that's why, you notice, I'm never
really on their. I've postedmaybe three or four times I'm
not on there. The way it's setup is that it forces you to
scroll, and it scrolls on stuffthat is popular on purpose. And
I did experiment. I liked onething, just to see what's going
to happen, and the next 30things was that one thing that I
like, I said, see, y'all justtry to set us up.
Tevin (18:42):
I think that TikTok is good for showing you things that
are popular but also things thataren't, because you'll see
things that have 100,000 likes,or you'll see things that have
six likes,
Emperor (18:53):
But what pops up first?
Tevin (18:55):
Yeah, of course, I think 100,000 likes, but even like
that thing with six likes couldbe something that's hilarious,.
Emperor (19:00):
But it's around the same thing that you just
watched, though.
Tevin (19:04):
Yeah, right, yeah, still fits within your algorithm,
Emperor (19:06):
Yeah... yeah... yeah...
yeah?
And that's how they keep youscrolling.
They don't show you somethingdifferent. I like to see
something different. And ifyou're not interested in them,
you can put not interested, butthat's not how it works.
Tevin (19:13):
Yeah, I think they make you you can start following
like, certain hashtags and startshowing you certain things.
That's how you control it.
Emperor (19:19):
Very social media.
Tevin (19:20):
Another gray area - drinking. When you drink just
for like occasional fun, it's ahabit, but when you start
relying on alcohol to cope withstress, it becomes a vice. I
even think that relying onalcohol to cope with stress is
another gray area, because somepeople drink when they go out
Emperor (19:35):
Because they have anxiety when they go out.
Tevin (19:37):
Like me, I have a drink when I'm out because I have
social anxiety, but I'm notdrinking to where I'm rolled out
on the floor throwing up in thestreet.
Emperor (19:44):
I mean, that's different. I mean...
Tevin (19:45):
And I'm not doing that often.
Emperor (19:46):
And you're not going out every day to have a drink,
like... You might, like yousaid, you have a drink to like,
you know, maybe loosen up alittle bit. I don't think
there's anything wrong withthat. It's those who, "all
right, you want to have adrink?"
Soundbite (19:57):
Well, is anybody in here gonna buy me a drink?
Emperor (20:00):
Uh, we just came from the gym. I want to go home. "Oh
you want to drink?"Where doesany house hanging out? Why we
need a drink to have aconversation? That's a problem.
Tevin (20:08):
Or even w hen they're like, "Oh, good morning, good
morning. You want to drink?"
Emperor (20:13):
Good morning you want to drink?
Tevin (20:14):
Yeah, you never experienced that?
Emperor (20:16):
No, I did experience someone, though, who I can't
even say it, oh, man, I'llexplain this much. They were
drinking everywhere, includingplaces that they should not be
Tevin (20:24):
Didn't you tell me about a time when you were away in
drinking, like the gym, work,out in the street... I really
can't say who it is, but...
another state and someone had abar in their car?
Emperor (20:40):
Yeah. So, oh my gosh, yeah. So, literally, he told me
to pass him a bottleunderneath... I was in the back
seat - underneath his truck. Isaid, Okay, so I pulled the
bottle out. He said, "not thatone." I said, Okay, maybe he
wanted something else. I'll pullanother bottle out. He said,
(21:01):
"not that one." I said, Okay, Ipulled another bottle out. He
goes, "no, no, it's not thatone." And he went and got it
himself. And I was like, so Ialready pulled out three
bottles, and there was a fourth.I said, okay, then we drove off.
I heard clink, clink, clink,clink. I said, Wait a second. It
wasn't three bottles. I wasclinking because I had him on
the seat, which means there wasmore bottles underneath there.
We just came from having drinksright now. We're going to
(21:23):
another bar in which I wasn'tdrinking and he was taking shots
in the back while he wasdriving. I said, yeah, you can't
drive. I'm not trying to die.
Tevin (21:30):
Were they top shelf?
Emperor (21:30):
It was on a shelf.
Tevin (21:32):
Oh, no.
Emperor (21:33):
The funny thing is, he made good money, so when someone
is an alcoholic, they don't careabout it being top shelf. They
just want to drink, which iscrazy. They'll drink anything.
People like, well, I'm buying...
Tevin (21:43):
I heard a story about someone who was an alcoholic.
They didn't have any like,drinking alcohol. So they drank
rubbing alcohol.
Emperor (21:50):
I don't think that's a thing.
Tevin (21:51):
No, I think that's why they almost died.
Emperor (21:53):
I don't think that's a thing.
Tevin (21:54):
No, it's not a thing.
Emperor (21:55):
Rubbing alcohol?
Tevin (21:56):
They drank rubbing alcohol.
Emperor (21:57):
You read that somewhere?
Tevin (21:58):
Yeah, I think it was like a news article. I hope they're
still around here.
Emperor (22:04):
That's crazy! Rubbing alcohol?
Tevin (22:06):
Yeah, isopropyl alcohol...
Emperor (22:09):
And they could of went blind.
Tevin (22:11):
Might drink bleach for all that.
Emperor (22:13):
What are you D__... We ain't going to mention his name?
Sure,
Tevin (22:16):
That man that's sitting in a house that's of a pale
color,
Emperor (22:21):
Unlike his skin.
Or, his scalp.
Tevin (22:22):
Well, we don't know what his skin looks like.
Emperor (22:26):
How's his scalp orange?
Anywho.
What advice would you givesomeone who sees someone that
they care about exhibitingbehaviors of a vice?
Tevin (22:38):
Oh, that's a tough one. I guess you really gotta just sit
them to the side and just askthem how they're doing. Like, I
noticed that you've been doingthis a lot. I just wanna make
sure, like, everything's okay.Is there anything you wanna talk
about? If they say, No, I'mfine. Just continue to ask them
over time, maybe not day afterday after day, but just check in
(22:58):
on that person and just let themknow that you're here if they
ever need to talk aboutsomething, how would you do it?
Emperor (23:04):
Well, I've had someone... I guess you can say
they were in my life, and theyexhibited a vice, and the vice
Tevin (23:09):
That's unfortunate.
was them being in a toxicrelationship, and it's not the
first, and they will call buttheir problems all the time. And
Emperor (23:15):
For them, it is.
I gave advice. I said, Listen,I'm always here. But then it got
to a point where everyconversation turned into that,
and it began to affect me. So Iwould sit there and say, like,
look, every time you call thisis what it is, and a person will
always get upset. And I'm like,Well, yeah, this is where it's
turning into and then theconversation kept going left so
(23:36):
I put my foot down. Listen,here's therapy, here's this, and
it always was an excuse. Andwhen someone had a vice to me,
it's like an addiction, likeit's hard for you to give advice
to someone who is not willing tochange or accept the fact that
this is a problem, and, longstory short, me and this person
no longer speak.
Tevin (23:55):
I mean, it's unfortunate for you too, not that you're
losing out, but that you werebuilding a relationship with
that person, and it went southbecause they didn't want to do
better for themselves.
Emperor (24:07):
I wish them the best, but there's sometimes, like
vices can ruin relationships. Iremember working in FAO
Schwartz, that's a throwback.And a young lady, she told me,
I've worked with her, she saidher mother and her father, like
they're not together. And I waslike, you know, sure, it's fine,
like I still have a relationshipwith my father, but my mom never
forgave him. And I was like,what happened? She had my father
(24:27):
had a really bad gamblingaddiction, and he gambled our
house away. And when he put thewedding ring also up, she kind
of found out and stopped it, butshe ended up leaving. And I'm
like, you just sat there andjeopardized both your wife and
your child for gambling theirwell being. She was done and she
(24:47):
moved on. I'm like, you ruined arelationship because you was
addicted to gambling.
Tevin (24:51):
Good for the daughter for forgiving him too.
Emperor (24:53):
Yeah. I mean, that's her father, so there's, you
know, whatever. But the wife waslike, I am so good.
Tevin (24:57):
Yeah.
Emperor (24:58):
She said...
Tevin (24:59):
Hopefully she's doing better now.
Emperor (25:00):
Huh?
Tevin (25:01):
Hopefully she's doing better now.
Emperor (25:02):
Who the, um, the mother? Yeah, hope she is. The
daughter I didn't care for thatmuch, she wasn't a really nice
person, and I'm glad I don'tspeak to her anymore. But she
shared that story with me,and...
Tevin (25:10):
Okay,.
Emperor (25:10):
It was the first time I heard gambling ruin a
relationship. I've never heardthat before. You always hear
cheating and whatever, whatever.But like, you never hear
gambling being the reason whysomeone's no longer together.
Tevin (25:21):
You hear more hear about that more and more now, which is
wild. So
Emperor (25:25):
I want to leave y'all guys with this. It's okay to
have a bad habit. We are humans.We're we have habits. We do
things. The goal is to prettymuch understand it, see what's
going on, be honest, and thentry to fix it. Bad habits can
turn into vices, and sometimesthey're hard to go backwards,
like you get so stuck in themthat you don't even know you're
having it. But I just imploresomeone, if someone you care
(25:48):
about is trying to give youadvice and help, just pay
attention and you see anythingthat you're doing is affecting
relationships with people thatyou care about or stop you from
growing, then you should lookinward and see what is going on.
Like it is okay to sit there andbe like, You know what? This is
obviously toxic, but it's veryhard for people to break those
cycles. But do not feel awaywhen certain people are no
(26:09):
longer in your life because youdecided to move a certain type
Tevin (26:11):
And just to sum it up, bad habits or things you should
of way.
break, while vices are thingsyou need to break, or at least
manage before they take controlof your life.
Emperor (26:20):
We're gonna leave that with that.
Tevin (26:21):
Yeah, but we're not leaving quite just yet, because
Lisa from New Jersey hasquestion for us.
Emperor (26:26):
Okay, Lisa, all right.
Tevin (26:29):
I need some advice.
Emperor (26:31):
That's how she started it?
Tevin (26:32):
Yeah, she's stressed out. My 51 year old mom always
dresses like she's competingwith me instead of being my
parent, wearing crop tops andtight outfits to have people
thinking we're the same age.It's mad embarrassing,
especially when my friends startmaking jokes. How do I tell her
to dress her age withoutsounding like a hater.
Just like that.
Emperor (26:52):
It's something I want to say, Lisa, I live for you.
Lisa, Lisa. Lisa, I live foryou. But if your mom is dressing
young, which she needs to stop,but people think, y'all the same
age. Either mommy's agingreally, really well, in the
face. Or Lisa what's going on?Why did you got the same age?
Tevin (27:08):
You drinking enough water?
Maybe Lisa has a vice ofdrinking alcohol all the time.
Emperor (27:16):
Well, mom is 51 - the crop top needs to stop. It has
to stop like, it needs to stoplike, Mom,
No raindrop, crop top?
Raindrop crop crop top. A lotgoing on. No, honestly, I'm
pretty sure you have a closerelationship. Talk to your mom.
Mom, listen, love you. You lookgreat. I think you're eating
very well. Body is tea, all thatgood stuff you need to dress
(27:38):
your age, Ma, I love you. I'mpretty sure she's an adult.
We're having this conversation.The crop tops need to stop, like
they need to stop. Put on asunflower dress. You can still
look great at 51 huh?
Tevin (27:51):
What's a sunflower dress?
Emperor (27:52):
Like one of the floral, nice dresses that cover your
body might show a littleshoulder, a little peekaboo
cleavage, maybe, but the croptops and the tight skirts and
the booty shorts and not likeNo, and the friends, and the
friends are talking mess too.Come on.
Tevin (28:06):
Well, she ain't saying anything about booty shorts.
Emperor (28:10):
The friends are talking mess, though. The friends we
grow she like, Yo, your mom lookcrazy.
Tevin (28:16):
Oh, Miss Lisa's Mom, come out to play.
Emperor (28:20):
That's what you got on again. Because, like, we like
teenagers, like, I'm pretty sureshe's, I don't know how old the
kid is.
Tevin (28:28):
I'm like, Lisa, is she wearing your clothes? Or is she
going on and buying thoseclothes?
Emperor (28:32):
She probably buying them.
Tevin (28:34):
Well she she didn't say, my mom's taking my clothes. So
maybe her mom was going to,like, Rainbow.
Emperor (28:41):
Rainbow? Her mom probably going through some
design places and getting stuffthat, whatever. I'm pretty sure.
Tevin (28:46):
I don't, I don't imagine Lisa's mom going to, um,
Nordstorm or Neiman Marcusbuying stuff.
Emperor (28:52):
All I know is Lisa's mom... Who knows? Oh, I know
Lisa's mom body's tea. Becauseif she 51, years old, no one sit
there and said she looked crazy.They said she's not dressing
appropriately. And people, ifpeople thinking that she's her
age, but I'm still doing that.Lisa's probably maybe mid 20s.
Mom's aging. Great.
Tevin (29:08):
It makes me think about that episode of Abbott when
Cheryl Lee Ralph is scared ofbeing a grandmother, so she
started dressing young..
Emperor (29:17):
But look Cheryl Lee, Ralph is gorgeous, but you can't
win no crop tops and bootyshorts,
Tevin (29:23):
No, especially not year round, if that's what's
happening.
Emperor (29:27):
Listen, if mom want to show up her body when it's time
for the summer, go on the beach,wear a nice little bathing suit.
That's age appropriate...
Tevin (29:33):
Yeah, like, Judge Judy.
Emperor (29:34):
Yeah, and this and look nice,
Tevin (29:35):
Because Judge Judie's eating.
Emperor (29:36):
Judge Judy?
Tevin (29:37):
You didn't see those pictures of her on the yacht in
her um, bikini?
Emperor (29:40):
I one of her yachts she has? No I didn't see it.
Tevin (29:43):
I'll pull it up now so we can talk about it.
Emperor (29:47):
I mean, it's very hard to tell parents what to do, what
not to do, but you should havethat conversation. It's just
like, I'll put it this way.Lisa's mom, you had your time?
Tevin (29:56):
Yeah? Lisa. Lisa, yeah. Judge, Judy's body's tea.
Emperor (30:00):
See this is appropriate. She's giving it and
she's covered up at the sametime. So Lisa, send us your
email. Well, we have it. We'regonna send you a picture of what
she should look like. Oh, thisjust um, Google, Judge Judy on
vacation, and you'll see it.
Tevin (30:13):
Yeah. So just say Judge Judy should be her inspo. She's
also Judge Judy's from Brooklyn,so she's like our Northeast type
of sister, so they can vibe offof each other, and she can just
really inspire her style
Emperor (30:25):
Absolutely.
Tevin (30:26):
Without the robe. Well, that's all time we have for
today.
Emperor (30:29):
I feel like time just goes by really fast.
Tevin (30:31):
It does. It does? You know, episodes are shorter, so
we hope you guys had a goodtime. New episodes drop every
Tuesday. So hit that subscribebutton and stay locked in. Let's
keep the vibe going. Follow us@anxiouswhile on social media
and visit anxiouswhile.com tolearn more about the show and
all the extras. Need a dose ofself care to actually hits. Sign
up for the Selfish Edit your goto for affirmations, playlists
(30:53):
and powerful self help toolsthat keep you grounded. If you
have a dilemma, such as Lisa,slide to our DMs or email,
hi@anxiouswhile.com and we'llget back to you.
Emperor (31:06):
And listen. I'm big on affirmations.
Tevin (31:07):
Are you?
Emperor (31:08):
Mmhm. Affirmation, affirmation!
Tevin (31:11):
Well, I affirm that you will hear from us next week.
Emperor (31:14):
That's right, and every week on court, because you never
gonna get sick of us.
Tevin (31:18):
Bye.
Emperor (31:18):
Bye.
What's going on, y'all and yes, we are back.
I told y'all it's gonna be weekly.
Tevin (00:13):
I don't know if that's good or bad.
Emperor (00:15):
It's good because they want to hear us.
That's why we here. You aretuned into Anxious While. We
Tevin (00:17):
Okay.
talk about a plethora of things,from self, identity, mental
health, wellness, how it impactsall of us. I say all the time.
Being an adult, is ghetto,nothing is off limits, and we're
about to have a great time. Hi,I'm Emperor. Yes, that is my
birth name,
And I'm Tevin. And as always,welcome to our returning
(00:39):
listeners, and welcome to thenewbies as well. Let's tap in,
stay a while and let's get intoit.
Emperor (00:44):
You said, let's stay a while. Oh, that's my song by
Janet. That's a good song. Let'sStay a While?
Tevin (00:49):
I don't know if I ever heard that.
Emperor (00:51):
What?! We're gonna give you a pass. You're gonna hear
later on today.
Tevin (00:58):
So what's making you anxious for this week?
Emperor (01:00):
Uh, honestly, I'm gonna be real with you, like my
schedule has just been drivingme crazy. I know you mentioned
last week you've been living bya calendar, and it's been
helping you out. And I think I'mgonna have to start taking some
of that, because I have more onmy plate. I'm doing more at work
with personal things. You know,I am working towards some really
(01:22):
exciting things that I want toshare yet into what happens. I
like to wait till things happenbefore I share them. So I'm
waiting for that to happen, butit's been a lot of work. It's
been a lot of learning. And Idon't know about y'all, but
using your mental power isexhausting. What about you?
That sigh say it all.
Tevin (01:40):
I'm planning two big events.
Emperor (01:43):
Okay!
Tevin (01:43):
One in the US, one in Mexico.
Emperor (01:46):
You said international.
Tevin (01:47):
Yeah, I'm an international planner now.
Emperor (01:50):
Oooooh!
Tevin (01:50):
Okay.
Emperor (01:50):
Y'all heard right? all right, international.
Tevin (01:54):
Um, and they're two weeks apart, and...
Emperor (01:56):
Like a paycheck?
Tevin (01:56):
Yeah, I'll be in... I'll have to fly for five days for
each of them. I'm tired thinkingabout it, but it's exhilarating,
tiring, stressful, exciting. Iprobably said a bunch of the
same synonyms, but whatever.
Emperor (02:10):
It's on one side, and it's great, and it's stressful,
but it's exhilarating and it'swhatever. But guess what? You're
doing big moves, you're doingbig things. And it just comes
with just leveling up every day,like, you know you said last
episode that you've been sayingand doing a bunch of things
different to kind of takeyourself to the next level. And
I feel like it's working for younow. Like, look, look,
everything that's happening foryou. Gonna be a great year.
Tevin (02:31):
It is. So just getting to the topic of the day.
Emperor (02:34):
Coffee or tea?
Tevin (02:35):
Are you trying to switch the topic up?
Emperor (02:39):
I'm joking with y'all guys. So the topic of the day is
the difference between a badhabit and advice. That's gotta
be very interesting, because; A: some people don't know the (02:45):
undefined
difference; but we're gonna hityou with the definition. Explain
to you guys what's thedifference in how to potentially
help some of y'all because...
Tevin (02:54):
You know, a lot of people try to cover up their vices with
bad habits. You're like, no,it's just a bad habit. No, it's
not a baby girl. It's a vice.
Emperor (03:01):
It's a vice
Tevin (03:02):
And not Miami
Emperor (03:03):
And not advice either. Miami sounds like fun. I haven't
been there in a while, since2023. Yeah, we need to go down,
back down there. It was fun. Igot my life down there. But,
yeah, this ain't the time forthat. We just gonna give you
some advice about vices.
Tevin (03:20):
The difference between a vice and a bad habit really
comes down to the intensity, theimpact, and the intent - which
is a lot to think about.
Emperor (03:28):
It is it was a bunch of words that probably have people
spiralling right now.
Tevin (03:32):
A definition of a bad habit
Emperor (03:37):
Ooh, based off of that very specific definition. I'll
repetitive behavior that may beannoying, unproductive or mildly
harmful, but doesn't necessarilycause significant damage to your
well being or relationships.Whereas, a vice is a deeper,
be honest with a lot of people,I don't think any of them really
often compulsive or indulgentbehavior that can have more of a
profound impact on mental,emotional or physical health.
(04:06):
have bad habits. It give vice,vice and more vices, oh my gosh.
Tevin (04:12):
And I think people are probably still trying to figure
out if they have a bad habit ora vice. An example of a bad
habit can be like biting yournails, procrastinating (to an
extent), excessive phone use, orinterrupting people in
conversations.
Emperor (04:27):
That's my bad habit. I'll be interrupting people. I
don't know what it is...
Tevin (04:30):
Like now, yeah.
Emperor (04:35):
Touché, touché.
Tevin (04:36):
An example of a vice could be over-drinking, smoking,
compulsive gambling, emotionalmanipulation or self sabotage.
Whereas, like I said,procrastinating could be either,
because if you procrastinate toomuch, that can fall under
self-sabotage.
Emperor (04:50):
What about like, gluttony? People eat too much. I
mean, that can be a bad habitand it could turn into a vice.
Tevin (04:55):
It depends.
Emperor (04:56):
I think things start as bad habits and it. Turns into a
vice. I feel like that's justlike the pathway to...
Tevin (05:02):
After what, the 21-day rule it becomes a vice?
Emperor (05:05):
You know what? Cause that's when something becomes a
habit or not. So, like a goodhabit brushing your teeth, a bad
habit not brushing your teeth,but then it's
Tevin (05:13):
Is brushing your teeth a habit.
Emperor (05:15):
It needs to be habitual. Biting your nails,
like you said, yeah, the peoplewho do it, but a lot of times it
Tevin (05:22):
Yeah.
Emperor (05:23):
So then you want to figure out what that is, before
has to do with, like, nervousness,
it gets worse. It can start withbiting your nails, and it could
turn into something else. I justfeel like a lot of things start
even gambling. You can gamble.And then when it becomes
frequent, and when it starts totake over your life, and then
you start betting, you know,like your partner's wedding
(05:44):
ring, or your house, that'scrazy.
Tevin (05:45):
Yeah when it becomes compulsive.
Emperor (05:47):
Yeah, yeah. Like, I think it's just that's the main
word.
Like that video of that man inVegas.
Oh, crying on the floor. He waslike, no, no. I was like, yes,
you lost it all.
Tevin (06:01):
I was in Vegas in the end of January, and I was in the
airport coming home, and therewas a man sitting down on the
bench looking like his wholeworld just ended. I was like, I
wonder if he betted thaneverything away.
Emperor (06:12):
He did. You know that feeling you could walk past
people. You go, ugh I can feelit. You don't have to say
nothing. Silence, a lot of timesis bigger than people speaking.
I know when I went to AtlanticCity, I would never go there
now, a long, long time ago. Withsomeone who I'm not gonna
mention because...
Tevin (06:27):
No shade to Atlantic City.
Emperor (06:28):
Nope. And we're walking past, like, the strip. We went
to go eat and, like, dowhatever. You hear them I'm
like (06:32):
"I can't believe it." No shoes on their feet.
Tevin (06:35):
Sure you weren't in the Port Authority?
Emperor (06:37):
I wasn't the Port Authority. That was like,
homelessness and person like,no. Like, no. Like, these people
also don't like, they don't haveanything. Like, they probably
gambled their shoes. I'm like,you that desperate, you gambled
your shoes, so you walking onconcrete with you feet?
Tevin (06:47):
Must have been some nice shoes.
Emperor (06:49):
Well, I can't tell they don't got nothing on their feet.
That's crazy.
Tevin (06:52):
I'm sure some of them probably needed something on
their feet too.
Emperor (06:54):
Yeah, they need something. But it's, it's, it's
sad, because vices destroylives.
Tevin (06:59):
Yeah.
Emperor (06:59):
Someone who smokes cigarettes all the time? Like,
smoking cigarettes is bad. Itliterally says on the pack. It
is bad for you. It's not back inthe day when they had the
Newport thing, people was withthe Camel looking cute. Like,
that's not a thing. Like, it'sbad for you. It ages you. You
stink. It thins your hair out.It's not good for you. Like,
it's not a cool thing. You knowwhat's cool? Go to the gym. Go
(07:20):
drink some water - do something.You smoking a cigarette, like,
yeah, look at me. No,
Tevin (07:24):
Just wanna make sure we're drinking water in the
right states, but yeah.
Emperor (07:26):
Just order water.
Tevin (07:28):
Remember, we got in a whole argument with someone on
social media about where theclean water is at.
Emperor (07:32):
Well, clearly it's not where they at the way they was
responding. Just order water.
Tevin (07:35):
So just diving a little deeper into this. When you
correct a bad habit, it canoften be corrected with
self-discipline, awareness orsmall behavioral changes.
Whereas, vices are harder tobreak, and they tend to be
coping mechanisms, or it's apersonality disorder or that you
(07:56):
have, like an addictivetendency.
Emperor (08:00):
remember a long time ago, I would buy ice cream like,
every day. I'm like, Oh my gosh,I'm buying ice cream. I would
buy it, buy it, buy buy. I'mlike, You're buying ice cream
every single day. This is crazy.You're addicted to it, and you
have to, like, figure this out.And then it went from ice cream
(08:22):
to like cookies. It wassomething else. Like, you just
keep buying bad stuff like, so
Tevin (08:26):
I thought you're gonna say something else. I thought
you were gonna say, You comefrom crack to meth.
Emperor (08:32):
I know someone who jumped from weed to meth,
Tevin (08:34):
Quite a jump.
Emperor (08:35):
I don't know where they at right now. I don't know they
don't have custody of theirkids. But anyway, that's another
conversation. It can happen.People who have those type of
addictive things, they end uplike relying on vices. That's
just what it is. I've seen ithappen. I know someone who has a
terrible gambling problem. Put$2000 in the machine. Spin,
spin, spin. Win $15,000 - I'mlike, pull out $15,000 Nope.
(08:56):
Spin, spin, spin. They didn'twant to ask me, Can I borrow
$800. Absolutely not. You have$15,000.
Tevin (09:04):
I'm walking away after I win $20
Emperor (09:06):
I know you are.
Tevin (09:08):
I'm like, I could have bought something with that. I
could have got some food, gotsome socks, something tangible.
Emperor (09:14):
$20? What food you buying with $20 in New York
City?
Tevin (09:17):
A salad.
Emperor (09:17):
What you gonna get, just lettuce?
Tevin (09:19):
I can get a salad for $20.
Emperor (09:20):
Where? We ain't gonna give nobody no names.
Tevin (09:22):
I can go to SG, I can go to C, I can go to... anywhere. I
can go to get teriyaki bowl fromG.
Emperor (09:33):
A lot of letters going,
Tevin (09:34):
Yeah. And you knew exactly what all of them were.
Emperor (09:37):
I sure enough did. Mhmm. And shout out to the
alphabet
Tevin (09:42):
And also, I think the purpose between a vice and a bad
habit is also very important totalk about. Bad habits are often
unintentional, whereas a vice isfrequently tied to escapism,
self-pleasure or you'reself-medicating
Like a bad habit...
Yeah.
Emperor (09:58):
Being inconsistent. It is what it is. Something you try
to fix, you said,procrastination to an extent,
you know, overworking yourself.That could be a bad habit, but
these are things that you couldreally like fix. A lot of
people, I think, have more vicesthan bad habits.
Tevin (10:09):
Yeah.
Emperor (10:10):
And they, they probably feel it's not a vice. One that I
think that you did not mentionwas being attracted to bad
people and bad relationships. Ithink that's a vice. Thinking
Tevin (10:20):
Yeah, I missed that one toxic relationship patterns.
like...
Emperor (10:22):
Yeah, I've witnessed a lot of people who are either in
one or they continue to keepdoing it. And I just give my two
cents and I kept losing mymoney.
Tevin (10:36):
You had to go back to our previous episode. Listen to it
and worry about yourself.
Listen, I've been practicingthat before the episode, but it
did give me light to go. Youknow what? Imma mind my
business. I lost so many twocents, I could have sat there
and retired already with it. Iam minding my business. If you
decide that you want to be in atoxic relationship and you want
to argue with me as to why youwant to be in a toxic
(10:58):
relationship...
Why am I arguing with you aboutto continue to be unhealthy.
You can keep it.
Emperor (11:04):
I wish you the best. I'm not gonna lie to you. It's
Tevin (11:04):
Yeah.
really hard to see and witness.It's really bad. But this is
your choice. You are choosingone thing that God gave us was
free will. You are choosingthis. Why am I going back and
forth with you for you choosingsomething that is bad for you,
and you yelling at me about it.That makes no sense.
Emperor (11:22):
You need to mind your business.
I know we keep going back to it,but it's like you saying you
Tevin (11:22):
Yeah.
Emperor (11:23):
Okay.
Tevin (11:23):
Like maybe you should get some crack.
need to get off crack. Oh, but Ilove crack so much. I love how
it makes me feel.
Emperor (11:32):
But guess what? When I mind my business, then you want
to call me about it andcomplain. That's what drives me
crazy. You know you're in atoxic relationship. It's bad,
and you keep going and going andgoing and going, but then you
wanna call me about how toxic itis. Then why are you staying? I
gave my advice. I didn't ask youfor it. Yes, you did. You called
me if you called my phone
Tevin (11:53):
Like I done gave you everything I can give
regardless.
I gave everything. I even gaveyou a therapist hotline, and you
decided not to use it.
And I even lied and said youlived in the house with me and
gave you my EAP so you didn'thave to pay for it.
Emperor (12:08):
He ain't mean it, y'all!
Tevin (12:11):
I don't live with people who I would have to listen to
about that all the time.
Emperor (12:13):
You know, that is true, but, yeah, these vices are
crazy. I talked about thegambling. And again, I know
people who fit in all of them. Iknow people who fit in a
multitude of them, gambling andtoxic relationships.
Tevin (12:25):
Jesus Christ.
Emperor (12:25):
I know it's a lot. It's a lot. It's being unhappy a
vice. There's some people whojust want to live in just
unhappiness.
Tevin (12:32):
I think people are unknowingly addicted to being
unhappy.
Emperor (12:36):
Yes, you know what? I have to agree. And then when you
call it out, they're ready tofight you. They're not upset
because you're wrong. Whensomeone runs right to defense,
it's because someone sayssomething that shook your
foundation, and there was truthbehind it. And sometimes when
someone throws truth in yourface, you get really upset at
them, and you try to findsomething, oh, you're attacking
(12:59):
me. You did this. Wait a second,was that really there, or were
we always conditioned to grow upto the point of fact, when
someone comes at you, the firstyou do is try to say something
about how it was completelywrong. No, no, you're imagining
something that didn't happenbecause something that was said
to you, they kind of put you inyour place, diplomatically.
Well, not even that probably wasnice, and you can't take it.
(13:19):
It's sad.
Tevin (13:19):
Some people know that they are dealing with a vice, or
you know that something is avice, or they know that they're
unhappy, or whatever else, butthey are avoidant and don't want
to have to deal with it. So...
Emperor (13:33):
Because ignorance is bliss sometimes for people, and
it's not,
Tevin (13:36):
It's bliss until it's affecting your physical health.
Emperor (13:39):
But is it really bliss. How can ignorance be bliss? Are
you being ignorant? You knowthis isn't right, and I'm
telling you this isn't right,but are you telling me that I'm
wrong?
Tevin (13:48):
I mean, yes, it can be blissful, depending on what the
situation is. El Chapo's wifechose to be ignorant, and sis
was getting off of private jetsand everything. That was bliss.
Emperor (13:58):
She ain't know.
Tevin (14:00):
What she say court. She didn't know a thing.
Emperor (14:02):
She didn't know nothing. I don't... Listen. I
didn't know nothing, either. Ididn't know nothing. I still
don't know anything. Ain't shein jail right now.
Tevin (14:07):
The way you just said it sounds like you're speaking from
experience.
Emperor (14:10):
Listen, no habla Inglés.
Tevin (14:14):
A nd no, I think she got arrested because I feel like she
was like in charge of it orsomething.
Emperor (14:19):
Listen, I don't know. If she said she didn't know, she
didn't know. I'm minding mybusiness. Mmhm. Anywho.
Tevin (14:26):
I'm worried about myself, so...
Emperor (14:27):
I'm worried about myself, and what I have to do.
I've seen a lot that vicesreally stop people from really
being the authentic selves andreally from growing. It really
is. It is kind of like a drugyou're so stuck and fixated on
this vice, or become so a partof you that it forces you to
move in a different directionthan the path that you should be
Tevin (14:47):
Well, they say the impact of a bad habit is mild
dealing with.
inconvenience or inefficiency,whereas the impact of a vice can
lead to self destruction or evenharm others
Either you talk about the smokeand cigarettes are affecting you
Emperor (14:58):
Right, then you biting your nails ain't affecting me. I
might say you look crazy. Megoing mmm mmm mmm mmm. Like,
that looks crazy, but it's notimpacting me. But like you said,
like, a vice, it's affectingyour surroundings.
directly, but then you're alsoaffecting everyone else around
you with secondhand smoke.
That's interesting, because wetalk about, I said, like,
(15:18):
gluttony, someone who eats alot. Like, is it a vice? I mean,
I guess it can, like, youcontinue to eat in such a bad
manner, God forbid somethinghappens to you, pass away due to
that is going to affect everyonearound you with the after
effects.
Tevin (15:30):
Seems like gluttony depends if it's linked to stress
eating or you're if you're justa greedy person in general.
Emperor (15:37):
So people are greedy.
Tevin (15:38):
Yeah, which is a bad habit that can be changed with
discipline. Whereas, if you'restress eating and things like
that, if you're trying to escapeand pleasure yourself.
Emperor (15:49):
You're right. A simple a vice with the eating, I think
I sent you the video, but I sentit a few people - I'm a mess -
where this lady was on the couchand she pulled out something
from McDonald's, and it wasenough to feed seven people, and
she used her stomach as a table.
Tevin (16:03):
This is why I separate myself from social media. I'm
glad I didn't see that video,because I can't look at stuff
like that.
Emperor (16:11):
I became so, like, fascinated and enamored with it.
Tevin (16:15):
You were fascinated with it?
Emperor (16:16):
I was, because I was like... Because I was like,
how?! Look at me. I am notminding my business, right? You
know what profession I'm tryingto get into. So I had to, like,
I was fascinated with it. How doyou get to a point where your
stomach became your table? Like,that's a that's crazy to me.
You know, yes, but thedifference was, it probably was
Tevin (16:29):
Remember, I told you about this girl when I was in
middle school. She had a verylarge breast area, so she would
literally pick them up, put themon her desk and use them as
pillows. It's not but you talkabout the lady with the stomach
table kind of reminded me ofusing your body parts for
multiple functions.
(16:52):
natural. If y'all was in school,how big her breasts were.
I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure thatprobably wasn't also wasn't
healthy, her laying on them likethat.
Emperor (16:59):
They probably weren't.
Tevin (17:00):
So that was a bad habit.
Emperor (17:02):
On her chest was a bad habit. You having your stomach
protrude out to where I can siton it with me, you and someone
else that has food and playdominoes on it while we sitting
there chit chatting is aproblem.
Tevin (17:14):
Okay.
Emperor (17:15):
And she won while she was eating. I don't understand
how, but that's just what it is.It was bad. It's bad.
Tevin (17:20):
She was playing dominoes?
Emperor (17:22):
Anywho. So yeah, gluttony, it can go between each
depending on the circumstance.So that's right, but there are
certain things that there is nogoing back and forth.
Tevin (17:31):
I'm glad we're talking about how that gray area with
gluttony, because there are alsoother things, like scrolling
through social media. When it'sa harmless distraction, it's a
bad habit, but when you begin todoom scroll, it becomes an
addiction, because you're doomscrolling all night when you
could be sleep, and it'saffecting your sleep. And you
getting less sleep is affectingyour mental health. But also
(17:52):
doom scrolling, like worryingabout what everyone else is
doing is also affecting yourmental health because you're not
really focusing on yourself andappreciating what you have going
on.
Emperor (18:02):
And social media will set you up that way, like, if
you scroll on something that youlike, it will keep suggesting
things that it thinks that youwill like, and 99% of the time
it is correct. So you'rescrolling on something that's
catching your interest, you'relike, what else is there? What
else is there? It's likegambling. It's the "what if".
Now it's the what if. What elsecan I see? What else can I see?
Tevin (18:22):
And TikTok is a setup for that.
Emperor (18:24):
Yeah, it really, that's why, you notice, I'm never
really on their. I've postedmaybe three or four times I'm
not on there. The way it's setup is that it forces you to
scroll, and it scrolls on stuffthat is popular on purpose. And
I did experiment. I liked onething, just to see what's going
to happen, and the next 30things was that one thing that I
like, I said, see, y'all justtry to set us up.
Tevin (18:42):
I think that TikTok is good for showing you things that
are popular but also things thataren't, because you'll see
things that have 100,000 likes,or you'll see things that have
six likes,
Emperor (18:53):
But what pops up first?
Tevin (18:55):
Yeah, of course, I think 100,000 likes, but even like
that thing with six likes couldbe something that's hilarious,.
Emperor (19:00):
But it's around the same thing that you just
watched, though.
Tevin (19:04):
Yeah, right, yeah, still fits within your algorithm,
Emperor (19:06):
Yeah... yeah... yeah...
yeah?
And that's how they keep youscrolling.
They don't show you somethingdifferent. I like to see
something different. And ifyou're not interested in them,
you can put not interested, butthat's not how it works.
Tevin (19:13):
Yeah, I think they make you you can start following
like, certain hashtags and startshowing you certain things.
That's how you control it.
Emperor (19:19):
Very social media.
Tevin (19:20):
Another gray area - drinking. When you drink just
for like occasional fun, it's ahabit, but when you start
relying on alcohol to cope withstress, it becomes a vice. I
even think that relying onalcohol to cope with stress is
another gray area, because somepeople drink when they go out
Emperor (19:35):
Because they have anxiety when they go out.
Tevin (19:37):
Like me, I have a drink when I'm out because I have
social anxiety, but I'm notdrinking to where I'm rolled out
on the floor throwing up in thestreet.
Emperor (19:44):
I mean, that's different. I mean...
Tevin (19:45):
And I'm not doing that often.
Emperor (19:46):
And you're not going out every day to have a drink,
like... You might, like yousaid, you have a drink to like,
you know, maybe loosen up alittle bit. I don't think
there's anything wrong withthat. It's those who, "all
right, you want to have adrink?"
Soundbite (19:57):
Well, is anybody in here gonna buy me a drink?
Emperor (20:00):
Uh, we just came from the gym. I want to go home. "Oh
you want to drink?"Where doesany house hanging out? Why we
need a drink to have aconversation? That's a problem.
Tevin (20:08):
Or even w hen they're like, "Oh, good morning, good
morning. You want to drink?"
Emperor (20:13):
Good morning you want to drink?
Tevin (20:14):
Yeah, you never experienced that?
Emperor (20:16):
No, I did experience someone, though, who I can't
even say it, oh, man, I'llexplain this much. They were
drinking everywhere, includingplaces that they should not be
Tevin (20:24):
Didn't you tell me about a time when you were away in
drinking, like the gym, work,out in the street... I really
can't say who it is, but...
another state and someone had abar in their car?
Emperor (20:40):
Yeah. So, oh my gosh, yeah. So, literally, he told me
to pass him a bottleunderneath... I was in the back
seat - underneath his truck. Isaid, Okay, so I pulled the
bottle out. He said, "not thatone." I said, Okay, maybe he
wanted something else. I'll pullanother bottle out. He said,
(21:01):
"not that one." I said, Okay, Ipulled another bottle out. He
goes, "no, no, it's not thatone." And he went and got it
himself. And I was like, so Ialready pulled out three
bottles, and there was a fourth.I said, okay, then we drove off.
I heard clink, clink, clink,clink. I said, Wait a second. It
wasn't three bottles. I wasclinking because I had him on
the seat, which means there wasmore bottles underneath there.
We just came from having drinksright now. We're going to
(21:23):
another bar in which I wasn'tdrinking and he was taking shots
in the back while he wasdriving. I said, yeah, you can't
drive. I'm not trying to die.
Tevin (21:30):
Were they top shelf?
Emperor (21:30):
It was on a shelf.
Tevin (21:32):
Oh, no.
Emperor (21:33):
The funny thing is, he made good money, so when someone
is an alcoholic, they don't careabout it being top shelf. They
just want to drink, which iscrazy. They'll drink anything.
People like, well, I'm buying...
Tevin (21:43):
I heard a story about someone who was an alcoholic.
They didn't have any like,drinking alcohol. So they drank
rubbing alcohol.
Emperor (21:50):
I don't think that's a thing.
Tevin (21:51):
No, I think that's why they almost died.
Emperor (21:53):
I don't think that's a thing.
Tevin (21:54):
No, it's not a thing.
Emperor (21:55):
Rubbing alcohol?
Tevin (21:56):
They drank rubbing alcohol.
Emperor (21:57):
You read that somewhere?
Tevin (21:58):
Yeah, I think it was like a news article. I hope they're
still around here.
Emperor (22:04):
That's crazy! Rubbing alcohol?
Tevin (22:06):
Yeah, isopropyl alcohol...
Emperor (22:09):
And they could of went blind.
Tevin (22:11):
Might drink bleach for all that.
Emperor (22:13):
What are you D__... We ain't going to mention his name?
Sure,
Tevin (22:16):
That man that's sitting in a house that's of a pale
color,
Emperor (22:21):
Unlike his skin.
Or, his scalp.
Tevin (22:22):
Well, we don't know what his skin looks like.
Emperor (22:26):
How's his scalp orange?
Anywho.
What advice would you givesomeone who sees someone that
they care about exhibitingbehaviors of a vice?
Tevin (22:38):
Oh, that's a tough one. I guess you really gotta just sit
them to the side and just askthem how they're doing. Like, I
noticed that you've been doingthis a lot. I just wanna make
sure, like, everything's okay.Is there anything you wanna talk
about? If they say, No, I'mfine. Just continue to ask them
over time, maybe not day afterday after day, but just check in
(22:58):
on that person and just let themknow that you're here if they
ever need to talk aboutsomething, how would you do it?
Emperor (23:04):
Well, I've had someone... I guess you can say
they were in my life, and theyexhibited a vice, and the vice
Tevin (23:09):
That's unfortunate.
was them being in a toxicrelationship, and it's not the
first, and they will call buttheir problems all the time. And
Emperor (23:15):
For them, it is.
I gave advice. I said, Listen,I'm always here. But then it got
to a point where everyconversation turned into that,
and it began to affect me. So Iwould sit there and say, like,
look, every time you call thisis what it is, and a person will
always get upset. And I'm like,Well, yeah, this is where it's
turning into and then theconversation kept going left so
(23:36):
I put my foot down. Listen,here's therapy, here's this, and
it always was an excuse. Andwhen someone had a vice to me,
it's like an addiction, likeit's hard for you to give advice
to someone who is not willing tochange or accept the fact that
this is a problem, and, longstory short, me and this person
no longer speak.
Tevin (23:55):
I mean, it's unfortunate for you too, not that you're
losing out, but that you werebuilding a relationship with
that person, and it went southbecause they didn't want to do
better for themselves.
Emperor (24:07):
I wish them the best, but there's sometimes, like
vices can ruin relationships. Iremember working in FAO
Schwartz, that's a throwback.And a young lady, she told me,
I've worked with her, she saidher mother and her father, like
they're not together. And I waslike, you know, sure, it's fine,
like I still have a relationshipwith my father, but my mom never
forgave him. And I was like,what happened? She had my father
(24:27):
had a really bad gamblingaddiction, and he gambled our
house away. And when he put thewedding ring also up, she kind
of found out and stopped it, butshe ended up leaving. And I'm
like, you just sat there andjeopardized both your wife and
your child for gambling theirwell being. She was done and she
(24:47):
moved on. I'm like, you ruined arelationship because you was
addicted to gambling.
Tevin (24:51):
Good for the daughter for forgiving him too.
Emperor (24:53):
Yeah. I mean, that's her father, so there's, you
know, whatever. But the wife waslike, I am so good.
Tevin (24:57):
Yeah.
Emperor (24:58):
She said...
Tevin (24:59):
Hopefully she's doing better now.
Emperor (25:00):
Huh?
Tevin (25:01):
Hopefully she's doing better now.
Emperor (25:02):
Who the, um, the mother? Yeah, hope she is. The
daughter I didn't care for thatmuch, she wasn't a really nice
person, and I'm glad I don'tspeak to her anymore. But she
shared that story with me,and...
Tevin (25:10):
Okay,.
Emperor (25:10):
It was the first time I heard gambling ruin a
relationship. I've never heardthat before. You always hear
cheating and whatever, whatever.But like, you never hear
gambling being the reason whysomeone's no longer together.
Tevin (25:21):
You hear more hear about that more and more now, which is
wild. So
Emperor (25:25):
I want to leave y'all guys with this. It's okay to
have a bad habit. We are humans.We're we have habits. We do
things. The goal is to prettymuch understand it, see what's
going on, be honest, and thentry to fix it. Bad habits can
turn into vices, and sometimesthey're hard to go backwards,
like you get so stuck in themthat you don't even know you're
having it. But I just imploresomeone, if someone you care
(25:48):
about is trying to give youadvice and help, just pay
attention and you see anythingthat you're doing is affecting
relationships with people thatyou care about or stop you from
growing, then you should lookinward and see what is going on.
Like it is okay to sit there andbe like, You know what? This is
obviously toxic, but it's veryhard for people to break those
cycles. But do not feel awaywhen certain people are no
(26:09):
longer in your life because youdecided to move a certain type
Tevin (26:11):
And just to sum it up, bad habits or things you should
of way.
break, while vices are thingsyou need to break, or at least
manage before they take controlof your life.
Emperor (26:20):
We're gonna leave that with that.
Tevin (26:21):
Yeah, but we're not leaving quite just yet, because
Lisa from New Jersey hasquestion for us.
Emperor (26:26):
Okay, Lisa, all right.
Tevin (26:29):
I need some advice.
Emperor (26:31):
That's how she started it?
Tevin (26:32):
Yeah, she's stressed out. My 51 year old mom always
dresses like she's competingwith me instead of being my
parent, wearing crop tops andtight outfits to have people
thinking we're the same age.It's mad embarrassing,
especially when my friends startmaking jokes. How do I tell her
to dress her age withoutsounding like a hater.
Just like that.
Emperor (26:52):
It's something I want to say, Lisa, I live for you.
Lisa, Lisa. Lisa, I live foryou. But if your mom is dressing
young, which she needs to stop,but people think, y'all the same
age. Either mommy's agingreally, really well, in the
face. Or Lisa what's going on?Why did you got the same age?
Tevin (27:08):
You drinking enough water?
Maybe Lisa has a vice ofdrinking alcohol all the time.
Emperor (27:16):
Well, mom is 51 - the crop top needs to stop. It has
to stop like, it needs to stoplike, Mom,
No raindrop, crop top?
Raindrop crop crop top. A lotgoing on. No, honestly, I'm
pretty sure you have a closerelationship. Talk to your mom.
Mom, listen, love you. You lookgreat. I think you're eating
very well. Body is tea, all thatgood stuff you need to dress
(27:38):
your age, Ma, I love you. I'mpretty sure she's an adult.
We're having this conversation.The crop tops need to stop, like
they need to stop. Put on asunflower dress. You can still
look great at 51 huh?
Tevin (27:51):
What's a sunflower dress?
Emperor (27:52):
Like one of the floral, nice dresses that cover your
body might show a littleshoulder, a little peekaboo
cleavage, maybe, but the croptops and the tight skirts and
the booty shorts and not likeNo, and the friends, and the
friends are talking mess too.Come on.
Tevin (28:06):
Well, she ain't saying anything about booty shorts.
Emperor (28:10):
The friends are talking mess, though. The friends we
grow she like, Yo, your mom lookcrazy.
Tevin (28:16):
Oh, Miss Lisa's Mom, come out to play.
Emperor (28:20):
That's what you got on again. Because, like, we like
teenagers, like, I'm pretty sureshe's, I don't know how old the
kid is.
Tevin (28:28):
I'm like, Lisa, is she wearing your clothes? Or is she
going on and buying thoseclothes?
Emperor (28:32):
She probably buying them.
Tevin (28:34):
Well she she didn't say, my mom's taking my clothes. So
maybe her mom was going to,like, Rainbow.
Emperor (28:41):
Rainbow? Her mom probably going through some
design places and getting stuffthat, whatever. I'm pretty sure.
Tevin (28:46):
I don't, I don't imagine Lisa's mom going to, um,
Nordstorm or Neiman Marcusbuying stuff.
Emperor (28:52):
All I know is Lisa's mom... Who knows? Oh, I know
Lisa's mom body's tea. Becauseif she 51, years old, no one sit
there and said she looked crazy.They said she's not dressing
appropriately. And people, ifpeople thinking that she's her
age, but I'm still doing that.Lisa's probably maybe mid 20s.
Mom's aging. Great.
Tevin (29:08):
It makes me think about that episode of Abbott when
Cheryl Lee Ralph is scared ofbeing a grandmother, so she
started dressing young..
Emperor (29:17):
But look Cheryl Lee, Ralph is gorgeous, but you can't
win no crop tops and bootyshorts,
Tevin (29:23):
No, especially not year round, if that's what's
happening.
Emperor (29:27):
Listen, if mom want to show up her body when it's time
for the summer, go on the beach,wear a nice little bathing suit.
That's age appropriate...
Tevin (29:33):
Yeah, like, Judge Judy.
Emperor (29:34):
Yeah, and this and look nice,
Tevin (29:35):
Because Judge Judie's eating.
Emperor (29:36):
Judge Judy?
Tevin (29:37):
You didn't see those pictures of her on the yacht in
her um, bikini?
Emperor (29:40):
I one of her yachts she has? No I didn't see it.
Tevin (29:43):
I'll pull it up now so we can talk about it.
Emperor (29:47):
I mean, it's very hard to tell parents what to do, what
not to do, but you should havethat conversation. It's just
like, I'll put it this way.Lisa's mom, you had your time?
Tevin (29:56):
Yeah? Lisa. Lisa, yeah. Judge, Judy's body's tea.
Emperor (30:00):
See this is appropriate. She's giving it and
she's covered up at the sametime. So Lisa, send us your
email. Well, we have it. We'regonna send you a picture of what
she should look like. Oh, thisjust um, Google, Judge Judy on
vacation, and you'll see it.
Tevin (30:13):
Yeah. So just say Judge Judy should be her inspo. She's
also Judge Judy's from Brooklyn,so she's like our Northeast type
of sister, so they can vibe offof each other, and she can just
really inspire her style
Emperor (30:25):
Absolutely.
Tevin (30:26):
Without the robe. Well, that's all time we have for
today.
Emperor (30:29):
I feel like time just goes by really fast.
Tevin (30:31):
It does. It does? You know, episodes are shorter, so
we hope you guys had a goodtime. New episodes drop every
Tuesday. So hit that subscribebutton and stay locked in. Let's
keep the vibe going. Follow us@anxiouswhile on social media
and visit anxiouswhile.com tolearn more about the show and
all the extras. Need a dose ofself care to actually hits. Sign
up for the Selfish Edit your goto for affirmations, playlists
(30:53):
and powerful self help toolsthat keep you grounded. If you
have a dilemma, such as Lisa,slide to our DMs or email,
hi@anxiouswhile.com and we'llget back to you.
Emperor (31:06):
And listen. I'm big on affirmations.
Tevin (31:07):
Are you?
Emperor (31:08):
Mmhm. Affirmation, affirmation!
Tevin (31:11):
Well, I affirm that you will hear from us next week.
Emperor (31:14):
That's right, and every week on court, because you never
gonna get sick of us.
Tevin (31:18):
Bye.
Emperor (31:18):
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!