Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Music.
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I'm Theo. And I'm Juliette. And this is Apologies Accepted. We offer an entertaining
look at some of the big issues in history by examining public apologies of the famous and infamous.
We're looking at politicians, serial killers, actors, and you.
Send us a public apology you would like to make, and we'll read it on the air
and give you a chance to redeem yourself or just get some guilt off your shoulders. We're here for you.
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Once a week, maybe more if you're really, really sorry.
Music.
Hi, everybody. This is Apologies Expected, no, Apologies Expected.
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The podcast. The podcast, and I'm not Theo.
Hey, you're not awake. I'm not awake. I haven't had any coffee yet this morning
or any caffeine at all, which is a nightmare for me and everyone around me.
So apologies in advance if I fall asleep or snap or do anything at all.
Unpredictable. Oh, please snap. Let's have that.
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We'll get more listeners that way. Everybody, I am the over-caffeinated Not Juliet.
I had a 16-ounce Red Bull and I am ready to go.
Nice. You didn't go out for coffee this morning?
Oh, no, I did not. Coffee is almost 10 bucks now. I know.
And it's fucking ridiculous. Sorry to be talking about finances, America and the world.
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But yeah, sorry, Starbucks. A quad grande vanilla almond milk latte is $9.62.
Yeah. My shaken oat milk latte is like $8.75 or something. It's crazy.
And do they have virgin nuns shake it? Like, is that what it is? I assume so.
It's got to be they've got like French school children that are milking the
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cow for you as you pull up.
I don't know, man, but it's pricey. Oh, it's oat milk. It's milking the oats.
Yeah. However oat milk is made, I don't know what animal gives us oat milk,
but they're milking it. Yeah.
It's delicious. But anyway, so what's shaking bacon?
Well, the price of coffee has gone up. Let's see. What else is up?
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Again, a bunch of nothing. I had a beautiful lunch with a human being in real time, real life.
Yep. And that's the one person that I saw who wasn't standing behind a cash
register or walking through a parking lot or in line at a grocery store.
Like it's a person who knew me. Right. Right.
Yes. And so, so that was awesome. And other than that, I've just been in the
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house going through the closet, throwing stuff out, organizing.
That's very productive.
It's pretty, yeah, it's productive, but I already, okay, so this is a job that I've made up for myself.
Nobody said, oh, organize the closet, right?
But I already feel like I'm behind and I've failed.
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Oh no. I can't just say, great job. You got rid of two pair of socks.
Good for you, right? No, it's got to be like, you should have been done with this three days ago.
I didn't start until yesterday. But yeah, I've delayed for a couple of days.
So I'll say that's all that's shaking bacon here.
It's a bunch of going through drawers and organizing stuff and throwing stuff
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away slash slash donating it, slash goodbye things that I couldn't live without if I didn't buy.
It turns out I didn't need and I can live without you. Yeah.
Yeah. Will I ever learn that? No, I never will. You might. No, no.
There's an antique store, even though I just said I'm going to shut up now, keep talking.
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There's an antique store that has to relocate because their rent has gone up.
And so it's a big like antique mall.
Well, exactly. Exactly. So they're having this massive sale and great.
And I went through it the other day and I was like, oh, look at this. Oh, look at this.
And then I remembered, oh, you have an arm.
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You bought an arm and you don't need another damn thing at all ever because
the arm has been floating around the house.
It's like that Christmas elf, right? I put it here.
I don't like it even bad yes so
the arm i have no idea what it
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will become but it is definitely a thing
that moves around the house seemingly of its own accord and sit someplace for
a couple of days no no no but in fairness he has his taste is not as elevated
as mine of course that's it Few peoples are.
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Nobody really. Yeah. I mean, that arm was just sitting there for months unsold.
Fools. And it was only $350 or whatever it was. Exactly. And so,
and that was at a discounted price.
Anyway, so that's all my bacon. What's going on with you at Shaken Bacon?
I still don't have a new chair.
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So I need a new chair desperately because I'm sitting here in this chair,
like practically on the ground, craning my neck to see the screen of the computer.
So I really need one, but I just, there's so much else going on that I just
haven't been able to commit to a chair.
I feel like it's, for some reason, I feel like buying a new chair is extremely
important, even though the new chair I buy is probably going to be under a hundred
dollars. but but that's 10 shaken oat milk lattes so.
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And oh i made coconut bread
so that was exciting i have a recipe
that i've used in the past several times and it's always been delicious except
this time i must have messed something up because it's not sweet enough it's
not coconutty enough it's dry it just didn't come out right and i don't know
what i did wrong so i think i need to make it again maybe tomorrow with like
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more more liquids and more sugar and more coconut or something. I don't know.
It just didn't, it didn't come out right, unfortunately.
So I'm disappointed. That's probably the, I probably haven't tried to make any
sort of baked goods since before the pandemic.
And this is what happens when I try. I've obviously lost the touch.
It does. It does take a while to get that gift back.
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That baking gift of like, I can make anything and it's great.
Yeah. Yeah, if you stop baking for a while.
The other thing we did was we went to see Steve Roach, who is an ambient music
artist at the Grace Cathedral, which is this beautiful cathedral on Knob Hill.
And it's actually near the hotel where we stayed when Brent and I got married.
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And there's a park in between that hotel and Grace Cathedral where we took pictures.
And I have pictures of you and James sitting on a fountain, which is right there.
So every time I go there, I always remember getting married and how fun that
was. But the concert was great.
There was a light show as well as the music. So it was interesting.
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It was fine. I mean, it wasn't like outstanding. It wasn't a concert that changed my life in any way.
You're asking a lot from a concert. I'm asking a lot from a concert.
But I thought, I guess I had higher expectations for some reason from this concert. But it was good.
I enjoyed it. It was like two hours long, which wasn't too bad.
So I had a good time. It was nice to get out of the house and go somewhere that
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I hadn't been in a little while.
So that was fun. But that's all I've been up to.
I don't have any other bacon. him that's good all right you know like it's nice
not to have drama of course there is drama but you know it's drama that's off-air drama.
All the murders all the divorces all
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of it yeah all off the air all the poisoning
we yeah we can't talk about that no now somebody who's some divorced murdered
person will died by poison who'll be my neighbor and they'll be like that's
what he was talking about out yeah so i guess we could talk about our story
if we feel like it do we feel like it.
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No, let's keep talking about it. We can talk about the weather instead.
But since we will talk about the story, it is NCAA basketball finals time again.
I don't know if you noticed, Theo. Have you been watching any basketball?
I've got to say, I can't get past all the eclipse news.
So, no, it is blocking out my sports feed, unfortunately, because I am passionate about sports.
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Yeah, absolutely. Well, on Saturday, the Louisiana State University Tigers and
their star player Angel Reese beat UCLA in the Sweet 16 round.
Two days later, unfortunately, LSU lost to the Iowa Hawkeyes,
who are still in the running.
Today is the final, and Iowa is playing South Carolina, I believe,
today in the final in just a couple hours.
But anyway, LSU is no longer in the running for the championship.
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But in the meantime, L.A.
Times staff writer Ben Bolch had published a column titled UCLA-LSU is America's Sweethearts vs.
Its Basketball Villains, calling the UCLA-LSU match a reckoning of good vs.
Evil and right vs. wrong.
Louisiana State University was framed as the Sweet 16's evil side,
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while UCLA was painted as the good guys who were, quote, operating in the saintly shadows, unquote.
So a little over the top there, Bolch. In the column, Boltz praised UCLA's class
while accusing LSU of being hellbent on dividing women's basketball.
He described UCLA as milk and cookies, as wholesome as a miniature stuffed Bruin
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mascot, and America's sweethearts, while calling LSU's predominantly black women's
team basketball villains, Louisiana hot sauce,
and dirty debutantes.
Debutantes my favorite favorite thank you
for taking a breath there so I could jump in and say I
want Dirty Debutante to be the name of
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everything I I
love it let's go to Dirty Debutantes and get some french fries let's let's go
to Dirty Debutantes and buy some books what I just why I don't know I do know
right because it's stupid it's right who would think Who would think of calling
basketball players debutantes in the first place, much less dirty debutante?
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Well, you know, it's that juxtaposition of girls aren't good at sports.
And so a debutante, it would be the, in my mind, I'm imagining this is his reasoning,
the height of femininity, therefore not good at sports.
Right. But then they're dirty because they can't be good because they're the
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opposing team or whatever. Yeah, so anyway, we'll...
We'll get into it. We're already there. Yeah, I'll talk some more about it.
The LSU players are no strangers to sexist and racist criticism.
Last year, Angel Reese was accused of being disrespectful and classless,
again, that word, after making John Senna's you-can't-see-me hand gesture toward
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a UCLA player, Caitlin Clark, during the championships,
even though Clark, who appears to be white, had made the exact same gesture
in a previous game with a positive reception.
Bolch also complained about a recent game in which Reese waved goodbye to a
player who'd just been disqualified after five fouls, implying that it was mean
because the fouled-out player was crying.
Bolch spoke with two UCLA players for his piece, who actually defended Angel
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Reese, disputing the notion that Reese lacked class and calling her really nice off the court.
So the LA Times immediately faced backlash to this article, as they should have,
have, including from Haley Van Lith, who is a white LSU player who called the
piece racist in a post-game interview.
She said, we do have a lot of Black women on this team. We do have a lot of
people that are from different areas.
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And unfortunately, that bias does exist still today.
And a lot of the people that are making those comments are being racist towards my teammates.
I'm in a unique situation where I see with myself, I'll talk trash and I'll
get a different reaction than if Angel talks trash.
I have a duty to my teammates to have their back. And obviously,
some of the words that were used in that article were very sad and upsetting.
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In a press conference, LSU coach Kim Mulkey, who is no stranger to controversy herself,
she was the one who coached Brittany Griner for four years at Baylor University
and basically forbid her to talk about being a lesbian and also caused her to
cover her tattoos with a t-shirt under her jersey because it wasn't cool for
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whatever reason to have tattoos.
It wasn't ladylike. She was big, apparently, on her people being ladylike on
and off the court, which is an interesting juxtaposition of basketball players
and ladylike qualities.
I wouldn't think that the two would go together, but whatever.
Also, when Brittany Griner went to Russia and got caught with hash oil in her
suitcase and went to prison for 10 months, Kim Mulkey refused to defend her,
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refused to put out a statement in her defense.
So there's been a lot of controversy over that. And the reason that I know these
things is because I was talking to my friend Michelle and she likes women's
basketball and she told me in no uncertain terms that if I was doing a podcast
on LSU and I didn't know anything about Kim Mulkey, I would need to postpone the podcast.
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So I had to go and research the information in order to make her happy.
That is so awesome that that happened because I was not aware of the,
I remember the hand gesture debacle, right?
Yeah. But I didn't connect that that was with an LSU player, right? Right.
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And Coach Kim, wow, you are, she's, I'm going to say, I think she's great. Mm-hmm. But...
Definitely a controversial figure. Do I love all the Brittany Griner stuff?
No. Do I understand what that's coming from? Yes. And it's not homophobia.
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I believe that it's fear of losing fundraisers.
She's at a school in the South. It's women's basketball.
It's hard to get attention and money for women's sports in general.
Right. One of the players said it was a recruiting thing, that they were afraid
that they wouldn't be able to recruit people or bring young girls to play basketball
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at Baylor if they were all lesbians or seemed to be lesbian.
Right, yeah, because if you're, you know, it's guilt by association. Right.
And I could start making all kinds of dumb jokes right now, but it's so hard not to.
You may, if you like. So Kim Mulkey, however, did condemn the language that
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Bolton used against the young women on both teams.
She said it was so sexist and they didn't even know it.
About the column, how dare people attack kids like that.
She urged the room to Google dirty debutantes, which don't do.
And she lashed out at Bolch for referring to UCLA as milk and cookies.
I'm in the last third of my career, but I'm not going to let sexism continue,
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she said. You don't have to like the way we play. You don't have to like the way we talk trash.
You don't have to like any of that. We're good with that. But I can't sit up
here as a mother and a grandmother and a leader of young people,
and allow somebody to say that.
I come from a different generation, but I know sexism when I see it and I read it. That was awful.
Angel Reese, the face of LSU's team the past two seasons, said Monday she hasn't
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been happy since winning the title because of the overwhelming amount of negative
attention that has come with it.
I've been through so much, Reese said. I've seen so much. I've been attacked
so many times, death threats. I've been sexualized. I've been threatened.
I've been so many things, and I've stood strong every single time.
I just try to stand strong for my teammates because I don't want them to see
me down and not be there for them. I just want them to always know I'm still human.
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So the L.A. Times removed some of the most offensive language in Bolch's column,
including the Dirty Debutants and Milk and Cookies references.
They also added an editor's note stating that the original version of this commentary
did not meet Times editorial standards and apologizing to the LSU basketball
program and to our readers.
And then on Monday, Bolch posted an apology on Twitter that was also added to the L.A. Times page.
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So before we read the apology, did you have anything you'd like to contribute
to this conversation? I do. I knew you would.
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Lots of other people did love it. And so I didn't have to do it often because
there were fights for like, Oh, this game's happening and I'm going to take
some clients and I need, and our organization had a box right at the stadium in LA. Right.
But there were a fair number of women basketball, and I think it's the LA Sparks.
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That's what's in my head. I didn't Google to say, like, is Sparks the female basketball team?
I ended up going to a lot of Sparks games, and I actually really enjoyed them.
And I enjoyed them because there was a different energy with the fans, right?
And who doesn't love an underdog, right? And so, oh, women's sports, blah, blah, blah.
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And I would get into the game, didn't know any of the players,
didn't know what was going on, didn't understand any of the rules.
It was a bunch of people chasing a ball. But I still, for whatever reason,
I picked up that general vibe.
So I think there is a different level of appreciation amongst fans,
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right, for women's sports versus men's sports.
So, hooray, women's sports is great. Here's WNBA history. Oh. I know, right?
Women's basketball has a rich history marked by significant milestones that
illustrates the sports evolution into a mainstream activity.
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Chad GPT wrote this for me. I post the question.
The history spans over a century, showcasing the resilience and termination
of female athletes striving for recognition and equality.
That's pretty true. 1892, the inception.
Women's basketball began just a year after James Naismith invented the game in 1891.
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In 1892, Senna Berenson adapted Naismith's rules for women at Smith's College,
emphasizing teamwork and cooperation.
This modification marked the first structured women's basketball game on March
21st, 1893, and sparked the sports spread across colleges and YWCAs.
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1920 to 1930, early organization. During the 20s and 30s, women's basketball
began to organize, albeit facing significant societal resistance towards women in sports.
The sport was primarily played within educational institutions and lacked professional platforms.
The division of women's and men's rules also started to solidify during this era, era, hi, brain.
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1972, Title IX, perhaps the most critical turning point, came with the passage
of Title IX in 1972. What were you doing in 1972?
Because I was going to first grade. I was five. I don't know what I was doing then.
We were alive. Isn't that crazy? And so, let's see.
This U.S. federal law prohibited gender discrimination in educational institutions
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that receive federal funds.
Therefore, there was a significant increase in female participation in sports
by mandating equal opportunities, leading to the exponential growth of women's
basketball at high school and collegiate levels.
1976, the Olympic debut. debut. Women's basketball made its debut in 1976 during
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the Montreal Olympics, a significant step in gaining international recognition.
1982, the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship.
And I'm from North Carolina enough to know that when I see two A's together,
it's pronounced double A and not not AA.
So the NCAA, no, the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship, the first NCAA Women's
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Basketball Championship was held in 1982, providing a competitive arena that
was previously exclusive to men.
This tournament helped elevate the sports profile, offering a national stage
for collegiate women athletes.
In 1996, the WNBA is formed.
That's the Women's National Basketball
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Association, and then expansion in popularity throughout the 2000s.
So women's basketball, there's some history there, right?
And it definitely tracks with political, what words do I want to use?
Equalization, enfranchisement, political recognition, gain of political power of women.
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And then where do debutantes come from?
Because you've got to have dirty debutantes, right?
Well, yes, probably more Southern thing, right?
The tradition of debutantes in the USA is a rite of passage marking the formal
introduction of young women into society, and it has roots deeply embedded in
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both European aristocracy and American social customs.
This practice, often epitomized by grand balls and elaborate gowns,
has evolved significantly since its inception.
The debutante tradition originated in Britain, with aristocratic families introducing
their daughters as a means to display their eligibility for marriage.
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This custom crossed the Atlantic, taking root in American society in the 18th century.
Philadelphia, often considered the social capital of the U.S.
At the time, held some of the earliest recorded debutante balls.
By the 19th century, these events had become prevalent in major cities across
the country, including New York and New Orleans, with the tradition thriving in the South.
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Obviously, there was social importance attached to coming out.
Your family had to have, one, an interest in society and societal connections,
two, money to buy you a dress to attend the ball.
Let's see. And then three, I would imagine that something about you or your
family was noteworthy enough to attract a rich husband.
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Notable historical figures.
You know, we're going to test chat GPT here.
Many prominent women in American history have participated in this tradition.
Jacqueline Bouvier, who later became Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis,
made her debut in 1947 at the Hammersmith Farm in Newport, Rhode Island.
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Conversely, figures like Eleanor Roosevelt and Gloria Steinem chose paths divergent
from the debutante world, focusing on activism and journalism,
respectively. Actively.
Was Gloria Steinem a debutante or did she actively?
She did? I'm sure she did. Okay. Yeah.
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I don't know. I was like, Gloria Steinem. I just, it's not so much that,
oh, it's Gloria Steinem and I can't wrap my head around.
Oh, she could have been a debutante and chose not to. I can see her actively
choosing not to be a debutante.
I just think that like, Like, that's such an important, well,
such a no, it's just interesting to me, right?
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Because by my view, that's really putting your money where your mouth is.
And so if you came from that sort of family where that would be an expectation
and then you chose not to.
That really says something about your conviction and your beliefs.
And so it was a newsflash to me.
That's, I'll say, all I have got.
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Well, thank you. Other than loads of opinions and ratings on the apology.
Well, so let's talk about the apology then. Do you want to read the apology this time?
Oh, no, I'll leave that to you. All right, I'll read the apology.
It's on Twitter, which I refuse to call anything but Twitter.
And it's from Ben Bolch and it's titled, A Long Overdue Apology.
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And the apology says, It has taken me two days to write this apology because
I wanted to be as thoughtful as possible in my response to the situation I have created.
These are words I have not been asked to write by anyone at my paper,
but they need to be expressed so that I can own up to my mistake.
Words matter. As a journalist, no one should know this more than me.
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Yet I have failed miserably in my choice of words.
In my column previewing the LSU-UCLA women's basketball game,
I tried to be clever in my phrasing about one team's attitude,
using alliteration while not understanding the deeply offensive connotation or associations.
I also used metaphors that were not appropriate. Our society has had to deal
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with so many layers of misogyny, racism, and negativity that I can now see why
the words I used were wrong.
It was not my intent to be hurtful, but I now understand that I terribly missed the mark.
I sincerely apologize to the LSU and UCLA basketball teams and to our readers.
UCLA, a school I have covered for nearly a decade, champions diversity and is
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known as a leader in inclusivity.
However, I have not upheld that standard in what I wrote, and I will do much
better. I am deeply sorry.
So let's see, how did this apology do? There was an expression of regret.
There was an explanation of what went wrong. wrong.
Yeah, there was an acknowledgment of responsibility. There was a declaration of repentance.
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There was not really an offer of repair. He said, I will do much better,
but he didn't say how or what he would do.
And there was not really a request for forgiveness, although it's kind of close.
So I think I would give this apology an eight out of 10.
You shut up because I've also gave this apology an eight. And I was like,
I know Juliet's going to like give it a two, right?
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And then going to say something. And then I'm going to be like,
Like, oh, I didn't think about it that way. Wow. Okay. It's two.
Yeah, absolutely. I think it's an eight. I think it's a good apology. I think it's sincere.
And what I like about it is that he apologized to both UCLA and LSU.
And so he definitely recognized that the offense was on both sides,
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although he was like, oh, UCLA, you're so great.
He did understand that that milk and cookies reference was sexist. Yeah.
Ridiculous. So it's unfortunate that he had to say these things that required
him to apologize, but his apology was acceptable. So I accept this apology.
And we give it an average of eight. Yes, I also accept the apology.
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No, I don't accept the apology, but I give it an eight.
It could happen one day. It could happen one day. I mean, probably yes, right?
But for sure, I think it's a good apology. And I'll bet we never hear from him again.
We'll see. Because, well, he will do what he said he's going to do,
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and he will do better. and then he'll never fall on our radar.
So, yeah. And we actually had a challenge this week because there weren't any
real apologies out there.
People are like afraid now.
Well, they know if they don't behave, they're going to end up on our show and
they don't want to because, you know.
So maybe this week, hopefully this week, there'll be a bunch of people doing
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things wrong and apologizing. So we'll have a variety of options to choose from.
Well, I'm sure that will happen. The eclipse is coming. and apparently Mercury
is in retrograde. Again? Every time I turn around, it is.
Oh, yeah. There's an eclipse and Mercury's in retrograde and it's in retrograde
in Aries, which is my star sign and the only one that really is important or matters.
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And what does that mean for me? I don't know, but I'll probably find out tomorrow
when the eclipse happens and I explode.
And Mercury's in retrograde until April 25th, which feels like a long time.
That's a long time. Jesus.
Oh, well. Well, fortunately, astrology means nothing, so you're okay.
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Oh, what was that? That was half of our listeners going away.
I do not have an apology expected, or who's sorry now this week.
I looked and looked and I couldn't find anything, so I apologize.
That's my—I apologize for not having an apology expected. Do you have one?
I am going to meet you on a level playing field, my colleague in arms.
(29:47):
And I will say that I also don't have an apology expected or a who's sorry now.
And so we apologize. Our show is wrong for not having an apology expected or
who's sorry now this week.
We regret that we did not find an apology expected or who's sorry now.
We tried our very best to find one, but we're unable to. Well,
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we didn't try our very best testified when we... Okay, I tried for a while.
We tried our median best.
We spent five minutes Googling at some point this week. I'm sorry.
In the future, I'll try harder, and I hope that everyone will forgive us.
I echo Juliette's words, because
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she was reading from the bullet point of what makes a good apology.
And I will do one better, because I am just simply better and i am going to
have two apology expecteds next week and we'll see if i remember,
then you can do mine too it's gonna be two all right
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everybody this is this is it this is it for the week
this is the end of the show we've come this far see ya
um enjoy the eclipse have a great weekend what's
left of it well it'll be all done by the time you listen but
um have a great week then and stay cool
cucumbers don't trip potato chips see you
later tater bye thank you.
(31:14):
Music.
For listening to apologies accepted the podcast you can find links to articles
and the sources in the show notes to submit an apology or find out more visit
(31:34):
us at apologies ApologiesAccepted.net,
where you can also find our merchandise.
We're on Twitter at Apologies Accepted. And on Instagram at Apologies.Accepted.
You can support our important work at Patreon forward slash Apologies Accepted.
And fuck Facebook. Bye.
Music.