January 9, 2025 • 49 mins
We welcome Siobhan Maguire back to the show to discuss how to deal with grief and loss in these trying times. Siobhan is a cancer surviver who healed herself through the power of faith and now helps others through her work at HealthySelfTherapy.com. Siobhan's faith-based work is focused on helping her clients eliminate fear and learn how to forgive themselves. Enjoy the show!
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
the show.
Today's show we Welcome back,Siobhan McGuire.
And we talk today a lot abouthow to deal with grief and loss.
It's a topic that I think isvery relevant for a lot of us
who've, you know, in this daysof negativity that are
happening, if we've lost a lovedone or we've lost a job or we've
lost a home or whatever it maybe, and we're experiencing
(00:48):
grief, there's the five stagesyou have to go through.
Siobhan actually shares a somequite insightful tips and
guidance that I hope can helpanybody that's listening to this
or anybody that wants to forwardthis along to someone in their
family who is dealing with griefand loss.
I hope you enjoy the show.
Thank you so much.
(01:13):
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(01:34):
Thanks.
Hi, Siobhan McGuire.
Welcome to the show.
Welcome back.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
Oh, thank you for having me back again.
It's wonderful to be here thisevening.
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
Awesome to talk to you.
I wanted to talk to you todayabout grief and loss.
We touched on this after wewrapped up our last segment
together a little bit and wantedto follow up.
So thank you for joining today.
And with that, I'll turn it overto you.
I
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
mean, grief and loss is something that every single
one of us is going to have todeal with in some stage in our
life.
And grief and loss to me comesnaturally.
in a number of different forms.
Obviously the very first thingthat comes to mind is the loss
of a member of our family.
Also it can come as the loss ofa pet, beloved pet, but also the
(02:20):
loss of something that we've putan emotional energy into that we
have an investment of some sortin.
So it can be the loss of arelationship, the loss of
marriage, the loss of a job.
A number of people actuallyexperience that feeling of grief
or loss when they retire from ajob they've worked in for a long
number of years.
And grief can be experiencedvery much on an individual
(02:46):
level, but then there can begroup grief.
So, you know, if an act of God,an earth movement or something
happens and there's...
know a big event a big earthevent there can be some quite
large loss of lives and thenthere's a group feeling of loss
uh and grief as well so it canbe quite complex uh grief and um
(03:09):
i
SPEAKER_00 (03:09):
mean just grief just grief for humanity is that yeah
i mean just thinking about likethe world and the negativity and
sometimes i feel that uh myselfjust Yeah,
SPEAKER_03 (03:20):
I guess grief can be decided.
I mean, there's an overallfeeling, I think, at the minute,
there's a lot of sadness in theworld.
And that sadness is connected tosort of a depression.
And I mean, the reality is, itfeels like our human bodies are
actually dying.
And the reality is that we aredying.
(03:42):
Our material body is actuallychanging into a light body.
So our physical body is goingthrough a death and a rebirth,
which is a painful process.
And also, you know, Gaia Earthis transforming as well.
So there's a big shift at theminute.
It's massive.
So there is a death processgoing on.
(04:03):
in humanity and also motherearth.
And there's been a big rebirth.
So people are talking to me.
I know my own channel about God,Siobhan, is this the end of the
world?
And I go, it is.
And there's lots of people whosaid it's the end of the world
as we know it.
It's, it's, it's, it's anending, but it's also a rebirth
of something much more beautifulto come.
And I think a lot sooner than,than people think.
(04:27):
But just on a, on a personalperspective, just talking about
my own experience of grief in mylife and, I mean, I'm 54 now and
I would say, you know, I've beenthrough quite a bit of grief.
I mean, I grew up in NorthernIreland in the 1970s and it was
a war zone.
You know, there was, we were in,it was an occupation really of
(04:49):
the British military was there.
So I grew up, you know, withmilitary around us and, you
know, incendiary devices goingoff and bombs and, you know,
groups of people being killed.
And so it became a sort of aneveryday type of thing.
It was an expected thing.
And I remember only being sixyears old and we got off the
(05:10):
school bus and within 10minutes, there was a massive
explosion and our school bus wasactually blown up and the driver
with it.
So I guess from a young age, Iwas conditioned, should we say,
to, you know, that death was avery real thing.
And it wasn't something I wasever, I would say, scared of.
(05:33):
It became more, I guess, of thenorm.
But I guess I grew up on a housethat my parents were Catholic.
And so I grew up with a verystrong belief in God and faith.
I know in Ireland as well andcommunities in Ireland, I think
(05:53):
it's very important when we lookat how people deal with grief,
we're all very different in howwe deal with it.
And I know what really helped methrough personal grief in my
life was the faith I had that Iwas actually born into.
But not only that, in Ireland,there's such a celebration of
death.
Because, you know, when somebodydies in Ireland, the whole world
(06:16):
seems to descend, the wholecountry seems to descend on the
household where the grief is.
And there seems to be hugesupport and also a celebration
of the life of that person.
And it is seen as a celebrationwith lots of laughter and music
and joy generally associatedwith it.
So to me, it was quite a healthyaspect of the death process and
(06:40):
of the grieving process wasseeing the celebration of the
life that was just lost.
So I guess it's very much, Ithink how one deals with grief
is very dependent on the initialprogramming as a child.
So I guess, number one, I didn'tfeel when somebody passed, it
was the end of them.
(07:00):
To me, they went to anotherplace.
And I know, and I guess Irishhouseholds, there was a lot of
superstition as well, but wewere very much...
I grew up in a house that it wasquite normal for the spirits of
loved ones to come back and talkto you or leave a message or
angels coming and seeing afeather or little pennies was
(07:24):
going to be a message fromheaven from a loved one.
So I grew up in that sort oftradition.
And to be honest, that did helpme through the grieving process.
And I know when it was 2016, Ilost my dad.
In the February, I lost mysister in the June and I lost my
mom in the September.
So within six months, it was itwas bang, bang, bang.
(07:45):
So it was that was quite tough.
And then in the December of thatsame year, so just within 10
months, I lost my 15 year oldLabrador dog.
He was like my first baby.
And people go, gosh, I mean, tobe honest, that was.
That was the icing on the cake.
That was the biggest thing thatreally knocked me because she
was there with me every day.
(08:06):
That dog went everywhere withme.
But that was the big crescendofor me.
That hit me hard.
That hit me so hard.
Whereas I guess I could startto, I was rationally, I guess
because of my belief, my faith,I could rationalize my father
was 77.
He died very quickly.
He was diagnosed in November andhe died in February of cancer.
(08:29):
My sister then died in June ofcancer.
She'd been diagnosed a number ofsix, seven, eight years before
that.
And so there was an expectation.
And then my mum was nearly 80.
So I guess in my head, I had,there was an expectation built
up there that it was coming.
So there was a preparation tothat.
And then my dog was out of theblue, but that was literally, I
(08:51):
would say the straw that brokethe camel's back because I'd
been very strong the whole waythrough until that happened.
And I still, I would say, peoplewould say to me, gosh, Yvonne,
you must have the heart of alion.
How can you keep going?
How can you keep functioning?
And again,
SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
I think- How did you go through that?
SPEAKER_03 (09:13):
The very first thing I would say to people is have a
reason to keep going.
And my reason to keepfunctioning was I had two young
children.
I had a six-year-old and anine-year-old and they needed
me.
So I had a purpose.
I had a reason to still get upevery morning and look after
(09:33):
them.
So I guess at that stage, I wasgoing through the first, they
talk about the five stages ofgrief and the first being that
denial.
Yes, this has happened, but Ibusy myself doing something else
and resisting, I guess, lookingat the reality of what has just
(09:54):
happened, you know, becausethere's only so much.
the human psyche can deal withit at one time.
But it was then at that stage,we actually moved countries.
So I actually moved with my thenhusband and my two children from
Ireland to England.
And that's when it started tohit me because it wasn't just,
(10:14):
it was, I then lost my home.
that familiar surroundings.
So it was a whole new group offriends, a whole new different
community.
So again, it was change, change,change.
So that was monumental, really.
So it was just adding anotherlayer of trauma, to be honest,
(10:34):
because I would say at thatstage, I was very much
functioning.
Put it this way, I couldn'tafford too much pressure at that
stage.
I literally was able to get upout of bed, focus on my kids,
get my kids out the door, butgive me too much more stress.
(10:55):
And there's no way I could have,I could have coped with anything
else, but I still was very muchable to be capable, functional,
rational at that stage.
But I knew, right, please don'tgive me anything else, you know,
to deal with.
But yeah, I would feel myfather's presence very strong
around me.
I'd feel my mother's presencevery strong around me because
(11:17):
I've just had that strong faithmy entire life.
And that was a great comfort.
I could feel their energy.
Sometimes I'd wake up in themorning, I'd feel my father
standing by my bed, really.
And I knew I was incrediblyclose with him and I was
incredibly close with my mum.
So I knew they were with me andsupporting me and also
supporting me with the kids aswell.
(11:38):
But I would say then it was onlya matter of months later.
My marriage fell apart.
And to me, that was theultimate.
I actually went into, I wouldsay, post-traumatic stress then.
Because it's like your wholefoundations in your life now
have been ripped apart.
So I would say the next twoyears of my life were the
(12:00):
toughest years of my life.
Because...
It was like I had to start fromscratch again.
And a good friend of mine saidthis, and it's so, so true.
Sometimes you have to becomenothing to become something
more.
And I literally, my heart was ina thousand pieces on the floor
and I had to figure out how am Igoing to put this heart back
(12:24):
together?
How on earth am I going to putthis heart together?
And the thing is, I had toacknowledge that my heart was
broken.
I had to acknowledge that thishad happened.
So I was moving out of thestages of denial going, you
know, this is very real.
And then you move into the angerstage.
Why?
Why is this happened to me?
(12:45):
Even talking to God, what have Idone so wrong for this to have
happened?
This is way too much for anyhuman to possibly try and bear.
And it's not really when I lookback on it, it was a process.
And And I wouldn't be who I amtoday.
And I wouldn't be able to helppeople the way I do today until
(13:06):
I had gone through this wholeprocess myself.
And what I would say to peopleis that I had to take, I would
say it was like being acaterpillar.
I had to go into a chrysalis.
I had to completely rebuildmyself.
And number one, I had to beincredibly gentle with myself
because it's very easy to gointo the guilt, the shame, the
(13:29):
blame, you go into that lowervibrational mode and you don't
want to go there because you'llgo into a state of depression.
And I would say at both of just,only for my kids, I would say
sometimes I'd go, what's thepoint of all of this?
I've lost everything.
And then I thought, no, Ihaven't.
I got the gold in the marriage.
(13:50):
I got my two kids.
And they were the twocornerstones that literally
helped build me back up again.
I had got these two gifts inGod.
And I remember the day Iactually I actually left my
marriage.
My daughter, we were walking upthe road and she was only six
years old and she was swingingmy hand.
She was skipping and she says,don't worry, mom, we came here
(14:13):
to rescue you.
And I remember the immediatefeel of guilt to me.
This is my six year old daughterwho I'm supposed to protect, who
I'm supposed to provide for andnurture.
And she's saying to me, don'tworry, mom, we came here to
rescue you.
But they were they were mystrength.
My kids were my strength andthey helped lift me up and give
(14:36):
me purpose every day to keepgoing.
And I did.
And it was like brick by brick.
I rebuilt my house again.
But some days it was hard.
to do more than just get themout to school and keep them
going or whatever, because youhave to allow yourself and it's
(14:56):
very easy to deny it, but youhave to allow yourself to
grieve.
You have to let yourself feelthe pain and you have to sit in
that emotion and allow yourselfto feel it and to release it.
Because otherwise, I mean, that,you know, if you don't allow
yourself to shed those tears,you know, the organs are going
(15:18):
to weep.
If you keep that painsuppressed, it's going to cause
the organs to weep.
So it's so important to allowyourself to feel the pain and to
release it, to acknowledge it,because you can stay the whole
time in that denial stage, whichis stage one, because you want
to come out the other side ofit.
But you'll never be the sameagain.
(15:38):
And I know anybody who's lostmom and dad, it doesn't matter
what age you are.
And I was I was 48 years oldwhen I lost mom and dad.
And That's old.
But I was orphaned that year.
I felt my life will never be thesame again.
Because when you have mom anddad, it doesn't matter how old
(15:59):
you are.
You have somewhere to run to.
You know, there's someone thathas your back.
No matter what happens, somebodyhas your back.
But they were gone.
You know, so my runaway placewas I had been taken away, you
know.
And that was a massive thing.
It was like a huge chapter.
It didn't feel like the chapterof my life.
(16:20):
My whole book of my life hadclosed over.
And I had to start again.
I had to open a completelydifferent book.
So I would say, like, I'm 54now.
I feel, you know, through anumber of stages in my life of
going through cancer in my earlyyears now, I feel I'm on my
fourth incarnation within thisone lifetime.
There's been some very distinctchapters in my life.
(16:41):
But When I look back now, theyhave made me so strong because
when I look back now, I go, God,if I knew I was this strong,
what would I have done in mylife at certain stages?
And it makes you stronger.
And they say, what doesn't killyou makes you stronger.
And it really is true becauseyou really realize, you know, I
(17:04):
think that when you have a heartof love, when that heart is
broken, when it comes backtogether, It is so much more
compassionate.
It is so much more empathy.
You have so much empathy forpeople.
I mean, I need to have empathy.
Like I'm a therapist and work,but when people come to me with
(17:25):
stuff now, you know, I canunderstand where they're at.
I can empathize where they're atand I can give them hope.
Listen, you're going to gothrough a process and you are
going to come out the otherside.
And you have to allow yourselfto experience this physical
emotion.
because we all have to gothrough it.
It's part of the humanconstruct.
(17:46):
It's part of the humanexperience and it's a necessary
process of, you know, death andrebirth again.
And I mean, I know when I'm, youknow, I'll give an example of,
you know, how beautiful it issometimes, like in my work, I'm
able to channel in spirit fromthe other side and something
very profound this year, therewas a lady had come to me and
(18:09):
she'd lost her very young child.
And she couldn't move on in herlife.
She just absolutely stuck.
And that's what we call in thetherapy world, complicated
grief.
When somebody is finding it veryhard to function after six or 12
months, right?
This is running a bit longerthan the normal process of, you
know, people having shiftedalong the process.
(18:32):
They're stuck.
They're stuck in that denial.
They're in anger and they can'tget out of that stage.
And she was very much at thestage.
She just couldn't let her songo.
And this is 30 plus years later,you know?
So when...
we invited in the higher, youknow, the, the, the spirit of
that child in, it was just tosay to anybody, when the spirit
(18:56):
of that soul comes in, the lovethat you feel is immense of a
child in the spirit world andyour heart can't help, but just,
oh my goodness, it's just soincredible.
And what her son actually saidwhen he came in, he said, mom,
You've got to, we say for exactargument's sake, his name is
(19:17):
Joe.
Mum, you've got to let thepersonality of Joe go.
That was only one small fragmentof who I am as a soul because
his soul was still beingtethered down to earth and he
couldn't move on in the spiritworld to do the healing he
needed to do to be able toevolve on the other side.
(19:38):
So he was like, mum, if you canlet Joe go, this aspect, which
is only one part of me to bereleased.
then I can come back and assistyou energetically as the whole
part of me, all these otheraspects of me, I can bring in
and come back and assist you tomake this life easier for me on
(19:59):
the other side.
And it was such a beautifulmessage.
I thought, how profound wasthat?
And, you know, I...
I get this a lot.
And sometimes when it's soimportant to let a loved one be
released, you know, tocompletely acknowledge that they
are no longer in the physical.
(20:20):
But that doesn't mean we can'tfeel their energy.
We can't feel the vibration andallow ourselves to communicate
with them.
I mean, I know my dad, you know,my dad has passed eight years
now and I still talk to himregularly.
I still have conversations withhim about things.
And I'll go, dad, I need yourhelp with this.
I need your help making adecision or whatever.
(20:42):
And he comes in as a spiritguide for me now.
And a lot of times when we losea child, they come back into us
as a spirit guide.
And it's such a beautiful thing.
Or we lose a child as amiscarriage or that.
They're coming in and they're aspirit guide.
They're available as a spiritguide to a mom.
And they've such incrediblelove.
(21:05):
for the mom and the family thatthey were to be birthed into.
So from a spiritual perspective,when I do that piece of work
with a client, it's so powerful.
There's another aspect of grief,and it's really sort of step
three.
It's that bargaining thing.
What if I would have done X, Y,and Z?
(21:27):
And there's also guilt andshame, especially if we lose
someone and we go, we weren'tfriends with them before they
died.
if we had lost the relationshipwith mum and dad, you know, we'd
fallen out with them or, gosh, Ishould have went to see them.
I haven't seen them in threemonths or six months.
There's a lot of that sort ofguilt scenario that goes on
(21:48):
there as well.
And a number of people will cometo me and they'll go, I feel
guilty.
I wasn't there for mum and dadwhen they passed.
So when we invite spirit in, youknow, of those souls, it's just
amazing.
there's not judgment in theother side.
They're just so delighted tohave communication, you know,
(22:09):
and all of that just isreleased, you know.
So wherever, there's no judgmentyou see on the other side
because they're looking down inspirit and they see the bigger
picture now, you know.
So to me, to me, I look at griefas a necessary thing It's just a
(22:30):
necessary part of the humaninvolvement is to experience it.
And the reality is that ourloved ones are never gone.
It's not the last communication.
And the thing is when it's timefor us to go to the other side
as well, and I know this with mywork, they're all lined up
waiting to welcome us home.
(22:51):
And a lot of times, Say, forexample, if we were in hospital
before we passed, they will comeand go and come and go, calling
us and coming to prepare usweeks before we even pass.
So we're never alone.
You know, we're never alone whenwe die either.
You know, there's a whole posseof family waiting on the other
side to help us step throughthat doorway to the other side.
(23:14):
And the reality is it is just adoorway.
They're on the other side of thedoorway.
And just because we can'tphysically touch them.
I mean, some days I will go,God, I'd love to have a cup of
tea with mom in a chat.
I loved having a cup of tea in achat with my mom, just going
over and being able to do that.
And some days I go, gosh, I'dgive so much to have a cup of
(23:35):
tea in a chat with my mom.
But still, I talk to her.
I'll chat to her.
You know, I'll even go down tothe sea.
And I just look out to the seaand I'll chat to her.
And you see times as well,triggering grief.
is Christmas, when Christmas iscoming, you know, there's not
that person sitting at the tableand it can trigger all that pain
(23:55):
again.
And that's just normal.
It is because we miss them andwe have memories of them and we
miss them.
And that's a completely normal,natural thing.
Or we hear their favorite songor we see the movie on and
there's lots of these littletriggers, but they're beautiful
things as well, you know,because it means they're not
gone.
They're locked in our soul'smemories, you know.
(24:18):
So even though they'rephysically not out there,
they've never left us really.
They're still in our memoriesand they're still around us in
spirit.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
So it's really a choice then in terms of how you
want to perceive that momentthat you're dealing with.
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
Yeah, I think it is.
But I think, to be honest, itdoes depend, I think, on, let's
say, using the laws of grief ofa loved one, how it happens.
I think if it's a very traumaticsituation, somebody dies very
suddenly in a car accident, ohmy God, I can think, or a young
child dies, it's so much harderto for us to try and how do we
(25:01):
even rationalize that all of asudden somebody's there that
morning having breakfast andthen they're gone you know
that's challenging I remember awork situation I was working in
London and I'm sitting at mydesk and the next cubicle a guy
he has a heart attack and startschoking in the in the cubicle
beside us and and and one minuteyou know he's chatting on the
(25:24):
phone and the next within acouple of minutes, he's lying on
the floor, you know, and that'show quickly, you know, it
happens to us.
So all the more reason to, youknow, life is so precious and
every day is so important andit's to live in the present
moment.
It really, really is becauseanother thing I'd say to people,
(25:45):
you know, a grief and loss,it's, you know, one thing the
spirit tells me all the time, donot covet things.
Because it's very important forus to be aware what is important
in our lives, what is necessaryin our lives and what else is
just wallpaper.
You know, what else is just niceto have, not necessities.
(26:08):
How many pair of shoes do youreally need?
How many cars do you need?
How many holiday homes do youneed?
All nice to have, but notnecessary.
And I think if humanity just,right, you know, if I said,
Right, next week, a tidal waveis gonna hit.
You need some, you need to getyourself your basics.
(26:29):
What is it you really need toget in the car, to go and drive
somewhere else to be safe?
What do you put in the car?
What is it in that bag that'sthe most important thing to you?
Anything else, do not covet.
Because I would say the loss oflosing those things, even though
they weren't absolutelynecessary in your lives, You're
(26:50):
going to feel that loss a lotmore dramatically if you have an
emotional attachment to it.
You feel you need that.
So when they're taken away, ifthey're ever taken away from
you, you're going to feel thatloss massively, you know, and
from somebody who's been througha divorce and anybody's been
through a divorce knows all of asudden from having a certain
(27:10):
house and certain little toysand cars and that all of a
sudden everything split down themiddle and all those things that
were We just they were there oneday and they're not there the
next day.
And you're going, wow, you havea whole new appreciation for
things, you know, because wehave an expectation that it's
always going to be there.
And the reality is we do notknow what tomorrow is going to
(27:32):
hold, what tomorrow is going tobring us, how the world is
shifting on a daily basis, anhourly basis at the minute.
Who knows what tomorrow brings?
So, you know, family isprecious.
Time is precious.
Treat our lives that way, youknow.
What do I really need?
You know, what have I a lot ofthat I actually could give to
(27:53):
those that don't have very much?
You know, get some balance, getsome perspective in your life.
What is necessary and what isjust, you have it, you know, to
be seen to have it.
You know, it's good to keep upwith the Joneses and that.
It's just, it's really just areality check.
And I think every single one ofus now, if we really lift up our
(28:14):
heads and look around what'shappening in the world, we all
need to have a reality check.
What is that I actually need inmy life and want my life to make
me happy?
What else is just stuff?
And we have an awful lot ofstuff, you know.
So if we don't covet all thesethings and give an emotional
(28:34):
attachment to these things, ifour life suddenly flips
overnight, then the sense ofloss is dramatically reduced
because we don't we're notattached to these things.
They're there.
But you know what?
I don't need them.
I don't associate myself withthat.
(28:55):
It's a nice to have.
And it will dramatically reducethe sense of loss if overnight
we have to lift and shift andmove somewhere else.
It will completely make a hugedifference to people.
SPEAKER_00 (29:09):
Yeah.
And I didn't mean, I should say,I didn't mean a choice.
It's simply a choice.
I didn't mean it that that'sreally...
It's that easy.
But it's more like the old adageof be thankful that it happened
rather than sad that it's gone.
I mean, it's looking at theother side of the coin, in
essence, which is a choice.
It's just hard to get there, Ithink, for a lot of people
(29:31):
because it's so, like you said,it's so traumatic and so final
in a lot of ways to a lot offolks, which I think is part of
what you're doing is sowonderful is helping people to
realize that it's not final.
You know, when you lose someone.
SPEAKER_03 (29:47):
Yes.
And the reality is when it's ourtime to go, it's our time to go.
And that soul has completedwhatever they have needed to
complete in this lifetime.
So they're on a soul level.
They're good to go.
So we've got to respect that.
That was their chosen moment toleave because I do believe that
(30:08):
we do choose the time and weknow when we're going on a soul
level and when it's our time togo, it's our time to go.
And I know at the lowest pointof my life, I mean, I didn't
know if I was going to be herethe next day because I really
got to that level.
I didn't want to get up and Ijust thought I can't do another
day.
And that's when actually Jesuscame down and lifted me up out
(30:28):
of my body.
And when he comes into me and Ido channel his vibration, he
says to me, thank you, Siobhan,for choosing to stay.
Because it is a choice for some,you know, sometimes when we get
that low and I would say topeople as well, please don't
give up on yourself.
Just know you can make itthrough.
It is a process and you willcome out the other side.
(30:49):
And, you know, we go throughthat, those five stages, you
know, it's denial.
We go through the anger.
Why me?
You know, what have I done?
You know, we go through thebargaining.
What ifs?
You know, and then you gothrough the depression, which is
the pain bit, the real pain bit.
And as well, what's the point ofit all?
(31:11):
You know, so you do have to goto these places.
It is part of the journey.
And then you coming out theother side and you accept it.
And your world will never be thesame again without that soul in
it.
It's different.
But you evolve, you evolve yourlife to around that.
And they're no longer in thesame physical realm as you, but
(31:34):
you evolve as a soul.
So I know when I had a number ofvery traumatic things happen to
me within a short window oftime, I completely had to
actually take myself out of,let's say, the normal world.
And I had to go into this cocoonaround me.
It was a protective force aroundme to really figure out who the
(31:56):
hell I was, why I'm here, whatam I here to do, and make,
understand why I had to try andrationalize why this had
happened to me.
And you can't rationalize whysomething like that has happened
to you.
You've got to feel andunderstand it's a process.
And I knew at that time this waspreparing me to do something
(32:18):
greater.
So I literally had to go throughthat pain and suffering to, I
guess, gain wisdom and to gainstrength and to gain courage to
come up and out the other side.
And I emerged as this butterfly.
So much bigger, so muchstronger, so much more powerful
(32:39):
and colorful than I everpossibly could be if I hadn't
gone through that before.
So I You know, it makes youstronger and it makes you look
at life from a completelydifferent perspective.
You know, and if today is mylast day, I'm I'm ready.
I me myself, I am ready to gohome if it is my last day.
(33:02):
I guess my only question wouldbe, you know, God, please look
after my kids.
Because they would be the twothat I would say, you know, and
I've immediate known sisters aswell, but I would go, I just
please look after them all.
But apart from that, I go, I'mready to go myself.
Because I guess with my work,I've channeled so much of spirit
(33:24):
through for people that, youknow, when I take people into
their soul's records, I've hadso much experience with
vibration from the other sidethat I've no fear.
Because the reality is there'snothing to fear.
There's nothing to fear anymore.
passing through another doorway.
And it really is.
It's your soul's evolvement.
You know, you're complete inthis life here.
(33:46):
What you were here to do iscomplete.
Your time is complete here.
And you just evolve and you movethrough to the other side, you
know.
And it is the loss.
It's always the aftermath thatthat departure leaves behind.
That is the more challengingthing, because you're looking
back and you're going, are theygoing to be OK without me?
(34:07):
You know.
And that is the one thing thatpulls souls back down a little,
is that they're concerned aboutthe loved ones that they've left
behind.
But apart from that, they'revery happy to go up, you know?
SPEAKER_00 (34:19):
Yeah.
No, I feel that anyway, likejust in my own personal life,
you know, the older my childrenget, the more, the less of that
concern I have, right?
Like, I guess I, so I'm moreprepared for that.
that because i feel like i thatthey're more prepared um at this
(34:42):
point which goes back to youroriginal point that when
something happens unexpectedlylike that's often much more hard
to deal with you know andthankfully i've not had to deal
with that in my life i've dealtwith more expected types of loss
where you know it was the timeand my dad passed away of cancer
and he had a really horribleblood cancer that uh was very
(35:05):
aggressive and it was only aboutnine months that he lived with
that but even that that amountof time gave us all time to come
to grips with what was happeningso when he did pass we could get
to be more you know frankly igot to be more joyous because i
felt like he was not in painanymore and he was yes he was
(35:27):
moved on um And I think that,you know, I don't know if you
have any other words of wisdomfor those who have lost in
tragically sudden ways that, youknow, obviously you have your
counseling that you can do.
And I would encourage anybodythat's listening that's gone
through that to reach out toSiobhan at siobhanmcguire.com to
(35:47):
explore this if you're dealingwith that.
But, you know, Siobhan, likewhat would you say to someone
who, first, you know, the firstthing that you would say to
someone that had experiencedsomething very sudden that
happened?
I
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
mean, to me, it is just very important to don't
lock yourself away.
Don't feel that you have to lockit all inside, you know, that
pain.
There is a process that we willgo through that, you know, that
immediate denial.
You're in a state of shock.
You are in a state of shockinitially.
(36:21):
But allow you, allow people tosupport you, allow people to
love you and comfort you.
It's so important.
If it's a group situation, youknow, if it's a bigger group
tragedy, somewhere worktogether, be involved in, be
involved yourself in somethingbigger than just you, but bigger
(36:42):
than just your own personalgrief.
If there's a whole group ofpeople experiencing the same
thing, join together, workcollaboratively to build the new
together, to organize eachother, to sort each other out,
because that will pull you upand through it rather than
allowing you to get stuck andparalyzed in that stage of
(37:02):
denial, grief and immediateshock.
And because that is enoughsometimes to even take people
themselves.
They're in such a state ofshock, post-traumatic stress.
that they're locked in that.
You don't want to do that.
If you can help them be part ofa bigger piece with other
people, that I would say that'sa good way, a good way to lift
(37:25):
you up and move you along soyou're not doing it alone.
Because one of the biggestthings that going through grief
and loss is feeling thataloneness, feeling lonely.
You know, go and meet people, goand have a couple with people.
Talk about how you're feeling.
Don't lock it inside.
(37:45):
And people go to me, God, it'sbeen two years since I lost my
daughter, two years since I lostmy my mom or dad.
And God, I don't feel it.
But still, I mean, you know,they were always your mom and
dad.
If you're feeling you need totalk about it, please talk.
talk about it to people becausegrief is not something that goes
away.
You learn to manage and getthrough life and you get other
(38:10):
things in your life that fillsome of the voids that person
has left.
But life is, you never get over,I would say.
You never forget that person.
You evolve your life andrearrange your life without
them.
But nothing's ever the sameagain without that person.
(38:30):
So don't try to pretend thatyou've shifted on and you're
just in a hole and that person'sforgotten because that's a state
of denial.
And why would we want to do thatto anybody?
It's still honoring the lifethat that soul was part of our
lives, but you just rearrangeyour life in that you're able to
(38:50):
get on and then you're able tobring other things in your life
to fill your life.
So you know, get involved withsome groups.
I know initially I actually gotinvolved.
I, through work I'd donepreviously before grief, I used
to do flower essences.
I actually took some verypowerful flower essences, which
(39:11):
were all about helping gettingover the grief.
And then I worked with some drugaddicts.
One day a week, I volunteered tocounsel them and administer a
flower essence in them.
So by helping them, that washelping me lift myself up and
out.
So I would say to people, giveyourself a purpose, give
(39:33):
yourself a bigger purpose thanjust you to get you up and out
every day and just get you backinto living your life.
Because when you're in thatstate of grief and loss, you
forget to live.
You just exist.
You exist.
Getting through every day inthat survival mode is sometimes
as much as you can muster.
(39:55):
But you want to lift yourselfout of that situation and get
yourself to a situation thatyou're starting to live.
Even if it's only five minutes aday, 10 minutes a day, you allow
yourself to bring joy back intoyour life because that's what's
taken away.
We feel a loss of joy in ourlives.
And it's introducing that backinto ourselves.
(40:17):
increments back into our lifeagain.
SPEAKER_00 (40:19):
What advice would you give to someone who
understands that and is tryingto find their purpose, but is
having a difficult time in doingso?
SPEAKER_03 (40:32):
What I would say, find something that gives you,
that you enjoy doing.
And you know what?
I remember when my mom, youknow, lost her mom and that, and
she would have been close.
It was like, My mom used to bakecakes and it gave her joy with
people enjoying her cakes.
(40:53):
And I know that sounds quite atrivial type thing to do, but
that was a basic thing that shedid.
Well, I'm a good baker and shewould make cakes and cakes and
cakes and she would gift them topeople and that give her great
joy.
All of a sudden, you know, thatgive her a purpose, something as
simple as baking cakes.
You know, it can be the smallestlittle thing, but it all of a
(41:15):
sudden gives you a purpose.
And then she started her ownlittle cottage industry at home
of making cakes, knitting orangesweaters, making jams, making
preserves.
So it grew into somethingbigger.
So from taking something as away of just giving you a purpose
and giving you a little bit ofjoy again, that built up into a
cottage industry for her.
(41:36):
So it's just fine.
It can be the very simplestthing that you get joy in doing
that gives you pleasure and justdoing that every day.
And then you don't know whatthat can possibly bring into
your life.
Just don't think it has to be abig thing.
Little things that give you joy.
(41:59):
The little pleasures in yourlife are usually always the best
anyway.
It
SPEAKER_00 (42:05):
creates the magic of possibility, it sounds like.
SPEAKER_03 (42:08):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I think when we lose loved onesor a situation where we've lost
a marriage, we have lost a job,something we've invested so much
energy, so much time in, and allof a sudden it literally is like
(42:28):
the carpet pulled out fromunderneath of us.
We go, what?
What am I supposed to be doing?
What is my purpose in life?
Find something that it could beeven going back to childhood.
What gave me joy as a child?
A hobby, something.
You start working on that and ithas to be something you enjoy.
It has to be something thatgives you pleasure.
(42:50):
And it doesn't matter what itis.
It really doesn't.
But you're allowing yourself toput your energy and focus into
creating something.
And that's really important forus.
to create something because wefeel we can see something.
It's there.
We've created it.
And that gives us an immediatepleasure, a sense of
(43:10):
achievement.
It can be something very small,but we created that.
You could have paintedsomething.
You've created something, youknow.
So that's what children lovethat, you know, get them away
from the tech and get themcreating things.
And one way with my daughter,getting her away from the tech
was she loved Threads beadstogether and she makes bracelets
(43:32):
for people with their name andlittle mottos and stuff like
that.
But she gets great joy creatingthings now.
You know, it's just, you know,it's a great way.
It was a great way to distracther as a kid.
Instead of being on socialmedia, get her a box of this for
Christmas last year.
And all of a sudden she's makingthis thing.
She's got a business going on,selling them at school.
(43:53):
You know, all of a sudden she'sgot a purpose for something.
You know, and then it's, youknow what I mean?
So it's just, to me, it's just,it can be something really
small, but you're creatingsomething and that gives us
satisfaction, soul satisfaction,you know, at a very basic level,
you know?
No,
SPEAKER_00 (44:10):
I think it's fantastic advice.
I really appreciate you wantingto do this show to help folks,
because I think there are a lotof people that are dealing with
grief and loss and across thegamut, whether it's a personal,
like you said, either a personor a loved one or a job or a
(44:32):
variety of different things thatcould happen.
So I really honor you for askingme to do this show because it
was your idea and I want to giveyou credit for that because I
think it's a wonderful sensethat you have here.
And I hope that our listenersout there that may be going
through this can find some peaceor forward this along to someone
(44:56):
that they know who may need it.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
Yeah, I
SPEAKER_03 (45:02):
mean, actually, what I would just say, you see,
sometimes it can be just, it'shard for us sometimes when we're
in this human body and we'redown at street level, we're in
the maze of life, for us to makesense as to why somebody was
suddenly taken away from us,especially a child.
or a big situation where therewas a flood and thousands of
(45:24):
people were taken away.
But when we're able to see froma bigger perspective and spirit,
and I've experienced this in mylife when I didn't want to be
here anymore.
I literally, when I was in mylast moments and when Jesus
literally came down and heenergetically lifted me up and
showed me the bigger picturefrom up here, all of a sudden it
(45:46):
was so clear why I was goingthrough the pain And suffering
down here, I could see thebigger purpose for this.
And then all of a sudden it tookaway the trauma.
It took away, oh, I get it now.
There's always a bigger picture.
So it's trying to lift yourselfout of just trauma.
(46:06):
you know, the me is the streetlevel.
And to see there is a biggerpicture, you know, we may not be
able to be aware of it now inthis physical body, but there is
always a purpose to everything.
And there's a greater purpose.
And every cloud has a silverlining.
It really does.
And things sometimes don't workout the way we want it into
life.
But you know what?
(46:27):
You don't know what that thingthat didn't work out could have
saved you from as well.
So there always is a plan.
There always is a purpose.
But I would say one thing topeople, the biggest thing to
remember is life is a choice.
And every time there's asituation that arises and you
have to make a choice, you know,there's a number of different
(46:49):
possibilities and potentialitiesfor you to choose.
You know, what I've been toldfrom Spirit, choose the golden
path, choose the path of leastresistance.
Because a lot of times us humanschoose the path of challenge.
We really do.
You know what?
Make it easy for yourself.
Choose the one that is goldenand lit up.
(47:12):
And that's advice that I've beengiven because sometimes I would
go, I'm made of tough stuff.
I can handle it.
After what I've been through sofar, I go, do you know what?
I'm choosing the easy path allthe way home now.
You know what I
SPEAKER_01 (47:26):
mean?
SPEAKER_03 (47:27):
So it's just...
Just know there is a purpose foreverything.
I mean, I personally, it's justmy personal faith.
I have such a belief in God.
I was being taken out of my bodyseveral times in this lifetime.
I've been shown the mostincredible, beautiful things in
spirit.
And the thing is, as well, we'renever alone.
(47:47):
And even when we've lostsomeone, the soul of that person
is usually around us and they'relooking at us.
They're going, I'm here.
I'm OK.
You don't need to worry aboutme.
You need to look after yourself.
You know, you need to startmoving on with your life.
Your life is taking away.
Mine is complete.
I'm up here having a great time.
You know, you need to get onwith your own life.
(48:09):
And they want us to see usmoving on and being successful.
And they also, if we ask them,They can't interfere unless it's
the law of free will.
But if we ask them, theyactually can help us from
spirit.
They can make things easier forus.
They can give us messages tohelp us make wise choices.
But it is a choice.
(48:30):
It is a choice.
Do you believe?
And do you know what?
People listening to me may notbelieve in God, but just believe
that There's some sort of ahigher part.
Try it one day.
Ask.
Go.
If there's a God there, show me.
You know, if somebody islistening, please help me.
You know, and I can tell youwill get help.
(48:51):
You really will.
But ask and you shall receive.
You will get help.
SPEAKER_00 (48:56):
Chauvin Maguire, that's so beautiful.
Thank you for joining us.
Please stick around.
I think this is a good place towrap, but I'd like to chat with
you a little bit more.
So thank you so
SPEAKER_03 (49:04):
much.
SPEAKER_00 (49:05):
Chauvin Maguire dot com.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (49:08):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (49:10):
Hello, this episode is brought to you by Morrison
Alley.
Morrison Alley providesconsulting focused around
strategy, leadership, and teamdevelopment, as well as AI
implementations to streamlineeffectiveness or marketing
solutions or app development,and then leadership development
from our Fire& Rain leadershipdevelopment team focused on
executive leadership experiencesand experiential learning.
(49:34):
Check it out, morrisonalley.com.
Thanks.
UNKNOWN (49:40):
Music
SPEAKER_02 (49:40):
Thanks for listening to Ashley on Nothing But The
Truth for a better you and me.
Hello and welcome to
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
the show.
Today's show we Welcome back,Siobhan McGuire.
And we talk today a lot abouthow to deal with grief and loss.
It's a topic that I think isvery relevant for a lot of us
who've, you know, in this daysof negativity that are
happening, if we've lost a lovedone or we've lost a job or we've
lost a home or whatever it maybe, and we're experiencing
(00:48):
grief, there's the five stagesyou have to go through.
Siobhan actually shares a somequite insightful tips and
guidance that I hope can helpanybody that's listening to this
or anybody that wants to forwardthis along to someone in their
family who is dealing with griefand loss.
I hope you enjoy the show.
Thank you so much.
(01:13):
focused around strategy,leadership, and team
development, as well as AIimplementations to streamline
effectiveness or marketingsolutions or app development,
and then leadership developmentfrom our Fire and Rain
leadership development team,focused on executive leadership
experiences and experientiallearning.
Check it out, morrisonalley.com.
(01:34):
Thanks.
Hi, Siobhan McGuire.
Welcome to the show.
Welcome back.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
Oh, thank you for having me back again.
It's wonderful to be here thisevening.
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
Awesome to talk to you.
I wanted to talk to you todayabout grief and loss.
We touched on this after wewrapped up our last segment
together a little bit and wantedto follow up.
So thank you for joining today.
And with that, I'll turn it overto you.
I
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
mean, grief and loss is something that every single
one of us is going to have todeal with in some stage in our
life.
And grief and loss to me comesnaturally.
in a number of different forms.
Obviously the very first thingthat comes to mind is the loss
of a member of our family.
Also it can come as the loss ofa pet, beloved pet, but also the
(02:20):
loss of something that we've putan emotional energy into that we
have an investment of some sortin.
So it can be the loss of arelationship, the loss of
marriage, the loss of a job.
A number of people actuallyexperience that feeling of grief
or loss when they retire from ajob they've worked in for a long
number of years.
And grief can be experiencedvery much on an individual
(02:46):
level, but then there can begroup grief.
So, you know, if an act of God,an earth movement or something
happens and there's...
know a big event a big earthevent there can be some quite
large loss of lives and thenthere's a group feeling of loss
uh and grief as well so it canbe quite complex uh grief and um
(03:09):
i
SPEAKER_00 (03:09):
mean just grief just grief for humanity is that yeah
i mean just thinking about likethe world and the negativity and
sometimes i feel that uh myselfjust Yeah,
SPEAKER_03 (03:20):
I guess grief can be decided.
I mean, there's an overallfeeling, I think, at the minute,
there's a lot of sadness in theworld.
And that sadness is connected tosort of a depression.
And I mean, the reality is, itfeels like our human bodies are
actually dying.
And the reality is that we aredying.
(03:42):
Our material body is actuallychanging into a light body.
So our physical body is goingthrough a death and a rebirth,
which is a painful process.
And also, you know, Gaia Earthis transforming as well.
So there's a big shift at theminute.
It's massive.
So there is a death processgoing on.
(04:03):
in humanity and also motherearth.
And there's been a big rebirth.
So people are talking to me.
I know my own channel about God,Siobhan, is this the end of the
world?
And I go, it is.
And there's lots of people whosaid it's the end of the world
as we know it.
It's, it's, it's, it's anending, but it's also a rebirth
of something much more beautifulto come.
And I think a lot sooner than,than people think.
(04:27):
But just on a, on a personalperspective, just talking about
my own experience of grief in mylife and, I mean, I'm 54 now and
I would say, you know, I've beenthrough quite a bit of grief.
I mean, I grew up in NorthernIreland in the 1970s and it was
a war zone.
You know, there was, we were in,it was an occupation really of
(04:49):
the British military was there.
So I grew up, you know, withmilitary around us and, you
know, incendiary devices goingoff and bombs and, you know,
groups of people being killed.
And so it became a sort of aneveryday type of thing.
It was an expected thing.
And I remember only being sixyears old and we got off the
(05:10):
school bus and within 10minutes, there was a massive
explosion and our school bus wasactually blown up and the driver
with it.
So I guess from a young age, Iwas conditioned, should we say,
to, you know, that death was avery real thing.
And it wasn't something I wasever, I would say, scared of.
(05:33):
It became more, I guess, of thenorm.
But I guess I grew up on a housethat my parents were Catholic.
And so I grew up with a verystrong belief in God and faith.
I know in Ireland as well andcommunities in Ireland, I think
(05:53):
it's very important when we lookat how people deal with grief,
we're all very different in howwe deal with it.
And I know what really helped methrough personal grief in my
life was the faith I had that Iwas actually born into.
But not only that, in Ireland,there's such a celebration of
death.
Because, you know, when somebodydies in Ireland, the whole world
(06:16):
seems to descend, the wholecountry seems to descend on the
household where the grief is.
And there seems to be hugesupport and also a celebration
of the life of that person.
And it is seen as a celebrationwith lots of laughter and music
and joy generally associatedwith it.
So to me, it was quite a healthyaspect of the death process and
(06:40):
of the grieving process wasseeing the celebration of the
life that was just lost.
So I guess it's very much, Ithink how one deals with grief
is very dependent on the initialprogramming as a child.
So I guess, number one, I didn'tfeel when somebody passed, it
was the end of them.
(07:00):
To me, they went to anotherplace.
And I know, and I guess Irishhouseholds, there was a lot of
superstition as well, but wewere very much...
I grew up in a house that it wasquite normal for the spirits of
loved ones to come back and talkto you or leave a message or
angels coming and seeing afeather or little pennies was
(07:24):
going to be a message fromheaven from a loved one.
So I grew up in that sort oftradition.
And to be honest, that did helpme through the grieving process.
And I know when it was 2016, Ilost my dad.
In the February, I lost mysister in the June and I lost my
mom in the September.
So within six months, it was itwas bang, bang, bang.
(07:45):
So it was that was quite tough.
And then in the December of thatsame year, so just within 10
months, I lost my 15 year oldLabrador dog.
He was like my first baby.
And people go, gosh, I mean, tobe honest, that was.
That was the icing on the cake.
That was the biggest thing thatreally knocked me because she
was there with me every day.
(08:06):
That dog went everywhere withme.
But that was the big crescendofor me.
That hit me hard.
That hit me so hard.
Whereas I guess I could startto, I was rationally, I guess
because of my belief, my faith,I could rationalize my father
was 77.
He died very quickly.
He was diagnosed in November andhe died in February of cancer.
(08:29):
My sister then died in June ofcancer.
She'd been diagnosed a number ofsix, seven, eight years before
that.
And so there was an expectation.
And then my mum was nearly 80.
So I guess in my head, I had,there was an expectation built
up there that it was coming.
So there was a preparation tothat.
And then my dog was out of theblue, but that was literally, I
(08:51):
would say the straw that brokethe camel's back because I'd
been very strong the whole waythrough until that happened.
And I still, I would say, peoplewould say to me, gosh, Yvonne,
you must have the heart of alion.
How can you keep going?
How can you keep functioning?
And again,
SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
I think- How did you go through that?
SPEAKER_03 (09:13):
The very first thing I would say to people is have a
reason to keep going.
And my reason to keepfunctioning was I had two young
children.
I had a six-year-old and anine-year-old and they needed
me.
So I had a purpose.
I had a reason to still get upevery morning and look after
(09:33):
them.
So I guess at that stage, I wasgoing through the first, they
talk about the five stages ofgrief and the first being that
denial.
Yes, this has happened, but Ibusy myself doing something else
and resisting, I guess, lookingat the reality of what has just
(09:54):
happened, you know, becausethere's only so much.
the human psyche can deal withit at one time.
But it was then at that stage,we actually moved countries.
So I actually moved with my thenhusband and my two children from
Ireland to England.
And that's when it started tohit me because it wasn't just,
(10:14):
it was, I then lost my home.
that familiar surroundings.
So it was a whole new group offriends, a whole new different
community.
So again, it was change, change,change.
So that was monumental, really.
So it was just adding anotherlayer of trauma, to be honest,
(10:34):
because I would say at thatstage, I was very much
functioning.
Put it this way, I couldn'tafford too much pressure at that
stage.
I literally was able to get upout of bed, focus on my kids,
get my kids out the door, butgive me too much more stress.
(10:55):
And there's no way I could have,I could have coped with anything
else, but I still was very muchable to be capable, functional,
rational at that stage.
But I knew, right, please don'tgive me anything else, you know,
to deal with.
But yeah, I would feel myfather's presence very strong
around me.
I'd feel my mother's presencevery strong around me because
(11:17):
I've just had that strong faithmy entire life.
And that was a great comfort.
I could feel their energy.
Sometimes I'd wake up in themorning, I'd feel my father
standing by my bed, really.
And I knew I was incrediblyclose with him and I was
incredibly close with my mum.
So I knew they were with me andsupporting me and also
supporting me with the kids aswell.
(11:38):
But I would say then it was onlya matter of months later.
My marriage fell apart.
And to me, that was theultimate.
I actually went into, I wouldsay, post-traumatic stress then.
Because it's like your wholefoundations in your life now
have been ripped apart.
So I would say the next twoyears of my life were the
(12:00):
toughest years of my life.
Because...
It was like I had to start fromscratch again.
And a good friend of mine saidthis, and it's so, so true.
Sometimes you have to becomenothing to become something
more.
And I literally, my heart was ina thousand pieces on the floor
and I had to figure out how am Igoing to put this heart back
(12:24):
together?
How on earth am I going to putthis heart together?
And the thing is, I had toacknowledge that my heart was
broken.
I had to acknowledge that thishad happened.
So I was moving out of thestages of denial going, you
know, this is very real.
And then you move into the angerstage.
Why?
Why is this happened to me?
(12:45):
Even talking to God, what have Idone so wrong for this to have
happened?
This is way too much for anyhuman to possibly try and bear.
And it's not really when I lookback on it, it was a process.
And And I wouldn't be who I amtoday.
And I wouldn't be able to helppeople the way I do today until
(13:06):
I had gone through this wholeprocess myself.
And what I would say to peopleis that I had to take, I would
say it was like being acaterpillar.
I had to go into a chrysalis.
I had to completely rebuildmyself.
And number one, I had to beincredibly gentle with myself
because it's very easy to gointo the guilt, the shame, the
(13:29):
blame, you go into that lowervibrational mode and you don't
want to go there because you'llgo into a state of depression.
And I would say at both of just,only for my kids, I would say
sometimes I'd go, what's thepoint of all of this?
I've lost everything.
And then I thought, no, Ihaven't.
I got the gold in the marriage.
(13:50):
I got my two kids.
And they were the twocornerstones that literally
helped build me back up again.
I had got these two gifts inGod.
And I remember the day Iactually I actually left my
marriage.
My daughter, we were walking upthe road and she was only six
years old and she was swingingmy hand.
She was skipping and she says,don't worry, mom, we came here
(14:13):
to rescue you.
And I remember the immediatefeel of guilt to me.
This is my six year old daughterwho I'm supposed to protect, who
I'm supposed to provide for andnurture.
And she's saying to me, don'tworry, mom, we came here to
rescue you.
But they were they were mystrength.
My kids were my strength andthey helped lift me up and give
(14:36):
me purpose every day to keepgoing.
And I did.
And it was like brick by brick.
I rebuilt my house again.
But some days it was hard.
to do more than just get themout to school and keep them
going or whatever, because youhave to allow yourself and it's
(14:56):
very easy to deny it, but youhave to allow yourself to
grieve.
You have to let yourself feelthe pain and you have to sit in
that emotion and allow yourselfto feel it and to release it.
Because otherwise, I mean, that,you know, if you don't allow
yourself to shed those tears,you know, the organs are going
(15:18):
to weep.
If you keep that painsuppressed, it's going to cause
the organs to weep.
So it's so important to allowyourself to feel the pain and to
release it, to acknowledge it,because you can stay the whole
time in that denial stage, whichis stage one, because you want
to come out the other side ofit.
But you'll never be the sameagain.
(15:38):
And I know anybody who's lostmom and dad, it doesn't matter
what age you are.
And I was I was 48 years oldwhen I lost mom and dad.
And That's old.
But I was orphaned that year.
I felt my life will never be thesame again.
Because when you have mom anddad, it doesn't matter how old
(15:59):
you are.
You have somewhere to run to.
You know, there's someone thathas your back.
No matter what happens, somebodyhas your back.
But they were gone.
You know, so my runaway placewas I had been taken away, you
know.
And that was a massive thing.
It was like a huge chapter.
It didn't feel like the chapterof my life.
(16:20):
My whole book of my life hadclosed over.
And I had to start again.
I had to open a completelydifferent book.
So I would say, like, I'm 54now.
I feel, you know, through anumber of stages in my life of
going through cancer in my earlyyears now, I feel I'm on my
fourth incarnation within thisone lifetime.
There's been some very distinctchapters in my life.
(16:41):
But When I look back now, theyhave made me so strong because
when I look back now, I go, God,if I knew I was this strong,
what would I have done in mylife at certain stages?
And it makes you stronger.
And they say, what doesn't killyou makes you stronger.
And it really is true becauseyou really realize, you know, I
(17:04):
think that when you have a heartof love, when that heart is
broken, when it comes backtogether, It is so much more
compassionate.
It is so much more empathy.
You have so much empathy forpeople.
I mean, I need to have empathy.
Like I'm a therapist and work,but when people come to me with
(17:25):
stuff now, you know, I canunderstand where they're at.
I can empathize where they're atand I can give them hope.
Listen, you're going to gothrough a process and you are
going to come out the otherside.
And you have to allow yourselfto experience this physical
emotion.
because we all have to gothrough it.
It's part of the humanconstruct.
(17:46):
It's part of the humanexperience and it's a necessary
process of, you know, death andrebirth again.
And I mean, I know when I'm, youknow, I'll give an example of,
you know, how beautiful it issometimes, like in my work, I'm
able to channel in spirit fromthe other side and something
very profound this year, therewas a lady had come to me and
(18:09):
she'd lost her very young child.
And she couldn't move on in herlife.
She just absolutely stuck.
And that's what we call in thetherapy world, complicated
grief.
When somebody is finding it veryhard to function after six or 12
months, right?
This is running a bit longerthan the normal process of, you
know, people having shiftedalong the process.
(18:32):
They're stuck.
They're stuck in that denial.
They're in anger and they can'tget out of that stage.
And she was very much at thestage.
She just couldn't let her songo.
And this is 30 plus years later,you know?
So when...
we invited in the higher, youknow, the, the, the spirit of
that child in, it was just tosay to anybody, when the spirit
(18:56):
of that soul comes in, the lovethat you feel is immense of a
child in the spirit world andyour heart can't help, but just,
oh my goodness, it's just soincredible.
And what her son actually saidwhen he came in, he said, mom,
You've got to, we say for exactargument's sake, his name is
(19:17):
Joe.
Mum, you've got to let thepersonality of Joe go.
That was only one small fragmentof who I am as a soul because
his soul was still beingtethered down to earth and he
couldn't move on in the spiritworld to do the healing he
needed to do to be able toevolve on the other side.
(19:38):
So he was like, mum, if you canlet Joe go, this aspect, which
is only one part of me to bereleased.
then I can come back and assistyou energetically as the whole
part of me, all these otheraspects of me, I can bring in
and come back and assist you tomake this life easier for me on
(19:59):
the other side.
And it was such a beautifulmessage.
I thought, how profound wasthat?
And, you know, I...
I get this a lot.
And sometimes when it's soimportant to let a loved one be
released, you know, tocompletely acknowledge that they
are no longer in the physical.
(20:20):
But that doesn't mean we can'tfeel their energy.
We can't feel the vibration andallow ourselves to communicate
with them.
I mean, I know my dad, you know,my dad has passed eight years
now and I still talk to himregularly.
I still have conversations withhim about things.
And I'll go, dad, I need yourhelp with this.
I need your help making adecision or whatever.
(20:42):
And he comes in as a spiritguide for me now.
And a lot of times when we losea child, they come back into us
as a spirit guide.
And it's such a beautiful thing.
Or we lose a child as amiscarriage or that.
They're coming in and they're aspirit guide.
They're available as a spiritguide to a mom.
And they've such incrediblelove.
(21:05):
for the mom and the family thatthey were to be birthed into.
So from a spiritual perspective,when I do that piece of work
with a client, it's so powerful.
There's another aspect of grief,and it's really sort of step
three.
It's that bargaining thing.
What if I would have done X, Y,and Z?
(21:27):
And there's also guilt andshame, especially if we lose
someone and we go, we weren'tfriends with them before they
died.
if we had lost the relationshipwith mum and dad, you know, we'd
fallen out with them or, gosh, Ishould have went to see them.
I haven't seen them in threemonths or six months.
There's a lot of that sort ofguilt scenario that goes on
(21:48):
there as well.
And a number of people will cometo me and they'll go, I feel
guilty.
I wasn't there for mum and dadwhen they passed.
So when we invite spirit in, youknow, of those souls, it's just
amazing.
there's not judgment in theother side.
They're just so delighted tohave communication, you know,
(22:09):
and all of that just isreleased, you know.
So wherever, there's no judgmentyou see on the other side
because they're looking down inspirit and they see the bigger
picture now, you know.
So to me, to me, I look at griefas a necessary thing It's just a
(22:30):
necessary part of the humaninvolvement is to experience it.
And the reality is that ourloved ones are never gone.
It's not the last communication.
And the thing is when it's timefor us to go to the other side
as well, and I know this with mywork, they're all lined up
waiting to welcome us home.
(22:51):
And a lot of times, Say, forexample, if we were in hospital
before we passed, they will comeand go and come and go, calling
us and coming to prepare usweeks before we even pass.
So we're never alone.
You know, we're never alone whenwe die either.
You know, there's a whole posseof family waiting on the other
side to help us step throughthat doorway to the other side.
(23:14):
And the reality is it is just adoorway.
They're on the other side of thedoorway.
And just because we can'tphysically touch them.
I mean, some days I will go,God, I'd love to have a cup of
tea with mom in a chat.
I loved having a cup of tea in achat with my mom, just going
over and being able to do that.
And some days I go, gosh, I'dgive so much to have a cup of
(23:35):
tea in a chat with my mom.
But still, I talk to her.
I'll chat to her.
You know, I'll even go down tothe sea.
And I just look out to the seaand I'll chat to her.
And you see times as well,triggering grief.
is Christmas, when Christmas iscoming, you know, there's not
that person sitting at the tableand it can trigger all that pain
(23:55):
again.
And that's just normal.
It is because we miss them andwe have memories of them and we
miss them.
And that's a completely normal,natural thing.
Or we hear their favorite songor we see the movie on and
there's lots of these littletriggers, but they're beautiful
things as well, you know,because it means they're not
gone.
They're locked in our soul'smemories, you know.
(24:18):
So even though they'rephysically not out there,
they've never left us really.
They're still in our memoriesand they're still around us in
spirit.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
So it's really a choice then in terms of how you
want to perceive that momentthat you're dealing with.
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
Yeah, I think it is.
But I think, to be honest, itdoes depend, I think, on, let's
say, using the laws of grief ofa loved one, how it happens.
I think if it's a very traumaticsituation, somebody dies very
suddenly in a car accident, ohmy God, I can think, or a young
child dies, it's so much harderto for us to try and how do we
(25:01):
even rationalize that all of asudden somebody's there that
morning having breakfast andthen they're gone you know
that's challenging I remember awork situation I was working in
London and I'm sitting at mydesk and the next cubicle a guy
he has a heart attack and startschoking in the in the cubicle
beside us and and and one minuteyou know he's chatting on the
(25:24):
phone and the next within acouple of minutes, he's lying on
the floor, you know, and that'show quickly, you know, it
happens to us.
So all the more reason to, youknow, life is so precious and
every day is so important andit's to live in the present
moment.
It really, really is becauseanother thing I'd say to people,
(25:45):
you know, a grief and loss,it's, you know, one thing the
spirit tells me all the time, donot covet things.
Because it's very important forus to be aware what is important
in our lives, what is necessaryin our lives and what else is
just wallpaper.
You know, what else is just niceto have, not necessities.
(26:08):
How many pair of shoes do youreally need?
How many cars do you need?
How many holiday homes do youneed?
All nice to have, but notnecessary.
And I think if humanity just,right, you know, if I said,
Right, next week, a tidal waveis gonna hit.
You need some, you need to getyourself your basics.
(26:29):
What is it you really need toget in the car, to go and drive
somewhere else to be safe?
What do you put in the car?
What is it in that bag that'sthe most important thing to you?
Anything else, do not covet.
Because I would say the loss oflosing those things, even though
they weren't absolutelynecessary in your lives, You're
(26:50):
going to feel that loss a lotmore dramatically if you have an
emotional attachment to it.
You feel you need that.
So when they're taken away, ifthey're ever taken away from
you, you're going to feel thatloss massively, you know, and
from somebody who's been througha divorce and anybody's been
through a divorce knows all of asudden from having a certain
(27:10):
house and certain little toysand cars and that all of a
sudden everything split down themiddle and all those things that
were We just they were there oneday and they're not there the
next day.
And you're going, wow, you havea whole new appreciation for
things, you know, because wehave an expectation that it's
always going to be there.
And the reality is we do notknow what tomorrow is going to
(27:32):
hold, what tomorrow is going tobring us, how the world is
shifting on a daily basis, anhourly basis at the minute.
Who knows what tomorrow brings?
So, you know, family isprecious.
Time is precious.
Treat our lives that way, youknow.
What do I really need?
You know, what have I a lot ofthat I actually could give to
(27:53):
those that don't have very much?
You know, get some balance, getsome perspective in your life.
What is necessary and what isjust, you have it, you know, to
be seen to have it.
You know, it's good to keep upwith the Joneses and that.
It's just, it's really just areality check.
And I think every single one ofus now, if we really lift up our
(28:14):
heads and look around what'shappening in the world, we all
need to have a reality check.
What is that I actually need inmy life and want my life to make
me happy?
What else is just stuff?
And we have an awful lot ofstuff, you know.
So if we don't covet all thesethings and give an emotional
(28:34):
attachment to these things, ifour life suddenly flips
overnight, then the sense ofloss is dramatically reduced
because we don't we're notattached to these things.
They're there.
But you know what?
I don't need them.
I don't associate myself withthat.
(28:55):
It's a nice to have.
And it will dramatically reducethe sense of loss if overnight
we have to lift and shift andmove somewhere else.
It will completely make a hugedifference to people.
SPEAKER_00 (29:09):
Yeah.
And I didn't mean, I should say,I didn't mean a choice.
It's simply a choice.
I didn't mean it that that'sreally...
It's that easy.
But it's more like the old adageof be thankful that it happened
rather than sad that it's gone.
I mean, it's looking at theother side of the coin, in
essence, which is a choice.
It's just hard to get there, Ithink, for a lot of people
(29:31):
because it's so, like you said,it's so traumatic and so final
in a lot of ways to a lot offolks, which I think is part of
what you're doing is sowonderful is helping people to
realize that it's not final.
You know, when you lose someone.
SPEAKER_03 (29:47):
Yes.
And the reality is when it's ourtime to go, it's our time to go.
And that soul has completedwhatever they have needed to
complete in this lifetime.
So they're on a soul level.
They're good to go.
So we've got to respect that.
That was their chosen moment toleave because I do believe that
(30:08):
we do choose the time and weknow when we're going on a soul
level and when it's our time togo, it's our time to go.
And I know at the lowest pointof my life, I mean, I didn't
know if I was going to be herethe next day because I really
got to that level.
I didn't want to get up and Ijust thought I can't do another
day.
And that's when actually Jesuscame down and lifted me up out
(30:28):
of my body.
And when he comes into me and Ido channel his vibration, he
says to me, thank you, Siobhan,for choosing to stay.
Because it is a choice for some,you know, sometimes when we get
that low and I would say topeople as well, please don't
give up on yourself.
Just know you can make itthrough.
It is a process and you willcome out the other side.
(30:49):
And, you know, we go throughthat, those five stages, you
know, it's denial.
We go through the anger.
Why me?
You know, what have I done?
You know, we go through thebargaining.
What ifs?
You know, and then you gothrough the depression, which is
the pain bit, the real pain bit.
And as well, what's the point ofit all?
(31:11):
You know, so you do have to goto these places.
It is part of the journey.
And then you coming out theother side and you accept it.
And your world will never be thesame again without that soul in
it.
It's different.
But you evolve, you evolve yourlife to around that.
And they're no longer in thesame physical realm as you, but
(31:34):
you evolve as a soul.
So I know when I had a number ofvery traumatic things happen to
me within a short window oftime, I completely had to
actually take myself out of,let's say, the normal world.
And I had to go into this cocoonaround me.
It was a protective force aroundme to really figure out who the
(31:56):
hell I was, why I'm here, whatam I here to do, and make,
understand why I had to try andrationalize why this had
happened to me.
And you can't rationalize whysomething like that has happened
to you.
You've got to feel andunderstand it's a process.
And I knew at that time this waspreparing me to do something
(32:18):
greater.
So I literally had to go throughthat pain and suffering to, I
guess, gain wisdom and to gainstrength and to gain courage to
come up and out the other side.
And I emerged as this butterfly.
So much bigger, so muchstronger, so much more powerful
(32:39):
and colorful than I everpossibly could be if I hadn't
gone through that before.
So I You know, it makes youstronger and it makes you look
at life from a completelydifferent perspective.
You know, and if today is mylast day, I'm I'm ready.
I me myself, I am ready to gohome if it is my last day.
(33:02):
I guess my only question wouldbe, you know, God, please look
after my kids.
Because they would be the twothat I would say, you know, and
I've immediate known sisters aswell, but I would go, I just
please look after them all.
But apart from that, I go, I'mready to go myself.
Because I guess with my work,I've channeled so much of spirit
(33:24):
through for people that, youknow, when I take people into
their soul's records, I've hadso much experience with
vibration from the other sidethat I've no fear.
Because the reality is there'snothing to fear.
There's nothing to fear anymore.
passing through another doorway.
And it really is.
It's your soul's evolvement.
You know, you're complete inthis life here.
(33:46):
What you were here to do iscomplete.
Your time is complete here.
And you just evolve and you movethrough to the other side, you
know.
And it is the loss.
It's always the aftermath thatthat departure leaves behind.
That is the more challengingthing, because you're looking
back and you're going, are theygoing to be OK without me?
(34:07):
You know.
And that is the one thing thatpulls souls back down a little,
is that they're concerned aboutthe loved ones that they've left
behind.
But apart from that, they'revery happy to go up, you know?
SPEAKER_00 (34:19):
Yeah.
No, I feel that anyway, likejust in my own personal life,
you know, the older my childrenget, the more, the less of that
concern I have, right?
Like, I guess I, so I'm moreprepared for that.
that because i feel like i thatthey're more prepared um at this
(34:42):
point which goes back to youroriginal point that when
something happens unexpectedlylike that's often much more hard
to deal with you know andthankfully i've not had to deal
with that in my life i've dealtwith more expected types of loss
where you know it was the timeand my dad passed away of cancer
and he had a really horribleblood cancer that uh was very
(35:05):
aggressive and it was only aboutnine months that he lived with
that but even that that amountof time gave us all time to come
to grips with what was happeningso when he did pass we could get
to be more you know frankly igot to be more joyous because i
felt like he was not in painanymore and he was yes he was
(35:27):
moved on um And I think that,you know, I don't know if you
have any other words of wisdomfor those who have lost in
tragically sudden ways that, youknow, obviously you have your
counseling that you can do.
And I would encourage anybodythat's listening that's gone
through that to reach out toSiobhan at siobhanmcguire.com to
(35:47):
explore this if you're dealingwith that.
But, you know, Siobhan, likewhat would you say to someone
who, first, you know, the firstthing that you would say to
someone that had experiencedsomething very sudden that
happened?
I
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
mean, to me, it is just very important to don't
lock yourself away.
Don't feel that you have to lockit all inside, you know, that
pain.
There is a process that we willgo through that, you know, that
immediate denial.
You're in a state of shock.
You are in a state of shockinitially.
(36:21):
But allow you, allow people tosupport you, allow people to
love you and comfort you.
It's so important.
If it's a group situation, youknow, if it's a bigger group
tragedy, somewhere worktogether, be involved in, be
involved yourself in somethingbigger than just you, but bigger
(36:42):
than just your own personalgrief.
If there's a whole group ofpeople experiencing the same
thing, join together, workcollaboratively to build the new
together, to organize eachother, to sort each other out,
because that will pull you upand through it rather than
allowing you to get stuck andparalyzed in that stage of
(37:02):
denial, grief and immediateshock.
And because that is enoughsometimes to even take people
themselves.
They're in such a state ofshock, post-traumatic stress.
that they're locked in that.
You don't want to do that.
If you can help them be part ofa bigger piece with other
people, that I would say that'sa good way, a good way to lift
(37:25):
you up and move you along soyou're not doing it alone.
Because one of the biggestthings that going through grief
and loss is feeling thataloneness, feeling lonely.
You know, go and meet people, goand have a couple with people.
Talk about how you're feeling.
Don't lock it inside.
(37:45):
And people go to me, God, it'sbeen two years since I lost my
daughter, two years since I lostmy my mom or dad.
And God, I don't feel it.
But still, I mean, you know,they were always your mom and
dad.
If you're feeling you need totalk about it, please talk.
talk about it to people becausegrief is not something that goes
away.
You learn to manage and getthrough life and you get other
(38:10):
things in your life that fillsome of the voids that person
has left.
But life is, you never get over,I would say.
You never forget that person.
You evolve your life andrearrange your life without
them.
But nothing's ever the sameagain without that person.
(38:30):
So don't try to pretend thatyou've shifted on and you're
just in a hole and that person'sforgotten because that's a state
of denial.
And why would we want to do thatto anybody?
It's still honoring the lifethat that soul was part of our
lives, but you just rearrangeyour life in that you're able to
(38:50):
get on and then you're able tobring other things in your life
to fill your life.
So you know, get involved withsome groups.
I know initially I actually gotinvolved.
I, through work I'd donepreviously before grief, I used
to do flower essences.
I actually took some verypowerful flower essences, which
(39:11):
were all about helping gettingover the grief.
And then I worked with some drugaddicts.
One day a week, I volunteered tocounsel them and administer a
flower essence in them.
So by helping them, that washelping me lift myself up and
out.
So I would say to people, giveyourself a purpose, give
(39:33):
yourself a bigger purpose thanjust you to get you up and out
every day and just get you backinto living your life.
Because when you're in thatstate of grief and loss, you
forget to live.
You just exist.
You exist.
Getting through every day inthat survival mode is sometimes
as much as you can muster.
(39:55):
But you want to lift yourselfout of that situation and get
yourself to a situation thatyou're starting to live.
Even if it's only five minutes aday, 10 minutes a day, you allow
yourself to bring joy back intoyour life because that's what's
taken away.
We feel a loss of joy in ourlives.
And it's introducing that backinto ourselves.
(40:17):
increments back into our lifeagain.
SPEAKER_00 (40:19):
What advice would you give to someone who
understands that and is tryingto find their purpose, but is
having a difficult time in doingso?
SPEAKER_03 (40:32):
What I would say, find something that gives you,
that you enjoy doing.
And you know what?
I remember when my mom, youknow, lost her mom and that, and
she would have been close.
It was like, My mom used to bakecakes and it gave her joy with
people enjoying her cakes.
(40:53):
And I know that sounds quite atrivial type thing to do, but
that was a basic thing that shedid.
Well, I'm a good baker and shewould make cakes and cakes and
cakes and she would gift them topeople and that give her great
joy.
All of a sudden, you know, thatgive her a purpose, something as
simple as baking cakes.
You know, it can be the smallestlittle thing, but it all of a
(41:15):
sudden gives you a purpose.
And then she started her ownlittle cottage industry at home
of making cakes, knitting orangesweaters, making jams, making
preserves.
So it grew into somethingbigger.
So from taking something as away of just giving you a purpose
and giving you a little bit ofjoy again, that built up into a
cottage industry for her.
(41:36):
So it's just fine.
It can be the very simplestthing that you get joy in doing
that gives you pleasure and justdoing that every day.
And then you don't know whatthat can possibly bring into
your life.
Just don't think it has to be abig thing.
Little things that give you joy.
(41:59):
The little pleasures in yourlife are usually always the best
anyway.
It
SPEAKER_00 (42:05):
creates the magic of possibility, it sounds like.
SPEAKER_03 (42:08):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I think when we lose loved onesor a situation where we've lost
a marriage, we have lost a job,something we've invested so much
energy, so much time in, and allof a sudden it literally is like
(42:28):
the carpet pulled out fromunderneath of us.
We go, what?
What am I supposed to be doing?
What is my purpose in life?
Find something that it could beeven going back to childhood.
What gave me joy as a child?
A hobby, something.
You start working on that and ithas to be something you enjoy.
It has to be something thatgives you pleasure.
(42:50):
And it doesn't matter what itis.
It really doesn't.
But you're allowing yourself toput your energy and focus into
creating something.
And that's really important forus.
to create something because wefeel we can see something.
It's there.
We've created it.
And that gives us an immediatepleasure, a sense of
(43:10):
achievement.
It can be something very small,but we created that.
You could have paintedsomething.
You've created something, youknow.
So that's what children lovethat, you know, get them away
from the tech and get themcreating things.
And one way with my daughter,getting her away from the tech
was she loved Threads beadstogether and she makes bracelets
(43:32):
for people with their name andlittle mottos and stuff like
that.
But she gets great joy creatingthings now.
You know, it's just, you know,it's a great way.
It was a great way to distracther as a kid.
Instead of being on socialmedia, get her a box of this for
Christmas last year.
And all of a sudden she's makingthis thing.
She's got a business going on,selling them at school.
(43:53):
You know, all of a sudden she'sgot a purpose for something.
You know, and then it's, youknow what I mean?
So it's just, to me, it's just,it can be something really
small, but you're creatingsomething and that gives us
satisfaction, soul satisfaction,you know, at a very basic level,
you know?
No,
SPEAKER_00 (44:10):
I think it's fantastic advice.
I really appreciate you wantingto do this show to help folks,
because I think there are a lotof people that are dealing with
grief and loss and across thegamut, whether it's a personal,
like you said, either a personor a loved one or a job or a
(44:32):
variety of different things thatcould happen.
So I really honor you for askingme to do this show because it
was your idea and I want to giveyou credit for that because I
think it's a wonderful sensethat you have here.
And I hope that our listenersout there that may be going
through this can find some peaceor forward this along to someone
(44:56):
that they know who may need it.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
Yeah, I
SPEAKER_03 (45:02):
mean, actually, what I would just say, you see,
sometimes it can be just, it'shard for us sometimes when we're
in this human body and we'redown at street level, we're in
the maze of life, for us to makesense as to why somebody was
suddenly taken away from us,especially a child.
or a big situation where therewas a flood and thousands of
(45:24):
people were taken away.
But when we're able to see froma bigger perspective and spirit,
and I've experienced this in mylife when I didn't want to be
here anymore.
I literally, when I was in mylast moments and when Jesus
literally came down and heenergetically lifted me up and
showed me the bigger picturefrom up here, all of a sudden it
(45:46):
was so clear why I was goingthrough the pain And suffering
down here, I could see thebigger purpose for this.
And then all of a sudden it tookaway the trauma.
It took away, oh, I get it now.
There's always a bigger picture.
So it's trying to lift yourselfout of just trauma.
(46:06):
you know, the me is the streetlevel.
And to see there is a biggerpicture, you know, we may not be
able to be aware of it now inthis physical body, but there is
always a purpose to everything.
And there's a greater purpose.
And every cloud has a silverlining.
It really does.
And things sometimes don't workout the way we want it into
life.
But you know what?
(46:27):
You don't know what that thingthat didn't work out could have
saved you from as well.
So there always is a plan.
There always is a purpose.
But I would say one thing topeople, the biggest thing to
remember is life is a choice.
And every time there's asituation that arises and you
have to make a choice, you know,there's a number of different
(46:49):
possibilities and potentialitiesfor you to choose.
You know, what I've been toldfrom Spirit, choose the golden
path, choose the path of leastresistance.
Because a lot of times us humanschoose the path of challenge.
We really do.
You know what?
Make it easy for yourself.
Choose the one that is goldenand lit up.
(47:12):
And that's advice that I've beengiven because sometimes I would
go, I'm made of tough stuff.
I can handle it.
After what I've been through sofar, I go, do you know what?
I'm choosing the easy path allthe way home now.
You know what I
SPEAKER_01 (47:26):
mean?
SPEAKER_03 (47:27):
So it's just...
Just know there is a purpose foreverything.
I mean, I personally, it's justmy personal faith.
I have such a belief in God.
I was being taken out of my bodyseveral times in this lifetime.
I've been shown the mostincredible, beautiful things in
spirit.
And the thing is, as well, we'renever alone.
(47:47):
And even when we've lostsomeone, the soul of that person
is usually around us and they'relooking at us.
They're going, I'm here.
I'm OK.
You don't need to worry aboutme.
You need to look after yourself.
You know, you need to startmoving on with your life.
Your life is taking away.
Mine is complete.
I'm up here having a great time.
You know, you need to get onwith your own life.
(48:09):
And they want us to see usmoving on and being successful.
And they also, if we ask them,They can't interfere unless it's
the law of free will.
But if we ask them, theyactually can help us from
spirit.
They can make things easier forus.
They can give us messages tohelp us make wise choices.
But it is a choice.
(48:30):
It is a choice.
Do you believe?
And do you know what?
People listening to me may notbelieve in God, but just believe
that There's some sort of ahigher part.
Try it one day.
Ask.
Go.
If there's a God there, show me.
You know, if somebody islistening, please help me.
You know, and I can tell youwill get help.
(48:51):
You really will.
But ask and you shall receive.
You will get help.
SPEAKER_00 (48:56):
Chauvin Maguire, that's so beautiful.
Thank you for joining us.
Please stick around.
I think this is a good place towrap, but I'd like to chat with
you a little bit more.
So thank you so
SPEAKER_03 (49:04):
much.
SPEAKER_00 (49:05):
Chauvin Maguire dot com.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (49:08):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (49:10):
Hello, this episode is brought to you by Morrison
Alley.
Morrison Alley providesconsulting focused around
strategy, leadership, and teamdevelopment, as well as AI
implementations to streamlineeffectiveness or marketing
solutions or app development,and then leadership development
from our Fire& Rain leadershipdevelopment team focused on
executive leadership experiencesand experiential learning.
(49:34):
Check it out, morrisonalley.com.
Thanks.
UNKNOWN (49:40):
Music
SPEAKER_02 (49:40):
Thanks for listening to Ashley on Nothing But The
Truth for a better you and me.
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