S1E10 - China's Heaven & Hell: Mystic Tibet - Part 3/5

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Hidden away in the remote Tibetan highlands exists a world vastly different from our own - one where polyandry (the practice of one woman marrying multiple brothers) makes practical sense, where bathrooms hang precariously off cliffs offering panoramic views, and where sending your youngest son to become a monk is considered a privilege rather than a sacrifice.

My week-long journey from Shanghai to a remote Tibetan monastery stripped me of every comfort I'd come to expect - proper showers, electricity, familiar food, and even oxygen at that dizzying altitude. Sleeping on straw beds in stable-like rooms, I found myself immersed in a culture structured around scarcity. The monks followed strict dietary customs, eating only before noon and subsisting on simple fare like zamba (roasted barley flour mixed like play-doh) and mushroom soup that was, to be frank, utterly disgusting.

What began as anxiety over disconnection gradually transformed into something unexpected - peace. Watching orphaned children playing joyfully, rolling down hills in their robes like little balls, I witnessed a contentment completely divorced from material possessions. Their eyes reflected only purity, while mine surely revealed the fatigue and greed of city life. This Tibetan philosophy of acceptance rather than anxiety followed me even through a harrowing return journey when our car teetered on the edge of a hundred-meter drop into a lake. Despite the danger, I felt strangely calm, as if something was protecting me.

Have you ever experienced a place that fundamentally shifted your perspective? Share your thoughts and join the conversation about finding meaning beyond modern comforts. Sometimes the most profound wisdom emerges from the simplest living.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is to replace what I said before.
So Tibetans place a very highvalue on women.
So women in terms, they coulddecide who the dad actually is,
or whether or not, to tell, butmost women there abide by the
rules that they don't share.
The older one would always becalled dad, younger one would be
called uncle.
Now, something else that'sinteresting is how would you

(00:22):
know once the older brother isin there?
Well, the practice would bethat, whether it's the younger
one in there or the older one inthere, they would put their hat
on the doorknob.
That would be their signal.
I'll give you a second to letthat sink in.
I know this is all a bit crazy,but this polyandry is not only

(00:45):
limited to Tibetan culture.
Actually, they practice it incountries in Africa and also
Southeast Asia, for instance,the Manchurians.
More so, the nomadic tribes orheritages with less resources
need to make use of whateverthey have.
Does that make sense?

(01:06):
The Mongolians, the Manchurians, the Han, all the distant
people that were nomads, likethe Tibetans, shared that, and
not only that.
There was also a system, aweird system, of what you would
call present-day slavery.
I'm curious, though.
For the listeners here, I'dlike to maybe invite you to

(01:29):
leave what you think in thecomments.
Do you think you would be ableto accept that marrying two
brothers, or would you be ableto marry one wife with your
brother?
Let me know in the comments.
I spent roughly a week therewhen I first went, not being
able to shower or eat a propermeal and be dizzy all the time

(01:52):
from the altitude.
It was quite demoralizing andas I wandered around the temple
my mood got better, especiallywhen the sun came out and I
noticed, of course, like I saidbefore, there's lack of
resources everywhere.
Candles, flashlights were used,batteries were used, but not
electricity as in besides thegenerator.

(02:12):
In LB's room I tried what theyhad to eat at the temple during
dinner time.
So the monks they normally onlythey actually don't eat dinner.
They only eat before noon andthey don't eat afterwards.
They maybe have a little snackhere and there and I saw LB
drinking a bowl of.
He told me it was mushroom soupand I took a sip.

(02:35):
It was disgusting.
It was just crushed upmushrooms and boiling water.
It was gross.
It wasn't cooked well and thesewere mushrooms just picked out
in the back and then they gaveme something called a zamba.
I had that for the first timeit's roasted barley flour mixed

(02:55):
in like play-doh, and it'sexactly what it tastes like, too
, with a little bit of salt.
The good thing is it fills youup and it's easy to carry.
So normally the Benz would mushit into a ball and carry it in
their sleeves or pocketsomewhere, and then, while
they're on their journey, theywould eat some.
I knew what I was gettingmyself into beforehand, so I

(03:17):
brought MREs meals ready to eat.
Those are military packed foods, pre-packed military food, high
calories.
And they looked like the youngmonks were amazed when I started
heating up the food with a heatpack.
So there was a heat pack.
You put some water in, you dropthe food in there, it heats it
up.
And they were also, like I said, interested in technology.

(03:40):
They play with my phone, theyplay with my camera.
It was pretty cool, even thoughwe couldn't speak the same
language.
Only LB and another monk couldspeak Chinese.
Everybody else could notunderstand what I was saying.
I remember once I woke up and Iwanted to go back to sleep, but

(04:01):
the light was turned on.
It was the light bulb hangingfrom the ceiling of my room
while I slept on literallystraws and a monk walked in.
A young monk who had my cameraand I asked him.
I was like, can you turn offthe light?
I didn't even know how to sayit, I was just using my hands
and gesturing to him turn offthe light.
He understood there was noswitch.

(04:23):
He just walked up and unscrewedthe light bulb, smiled at me
and walked out.
It was not something I was usedto and, like I said before, I
slept in like a stable.
It was some wood padding on thesides and just straw, dry grass
, like a bed of dry grass, withthe most amazing view.

(04:44):
If you looked out, it was on awindow.
It was kind of like a crack inthe wall.
You could just see mountainousregions as far as the eye can
see.
Absolutely amazing.
And let me tell you, thebathroom was, you would expect
me to say, disgusting, but it'sactually not.
What they do is, of course,they dig natural bathrooms.

(05:06):
They dig holes and once itfills up, you cover it up and
you move to a different spot.
Everybody knows that.
But one spot in particular gotmy attention.
I still remember it to this dayNow.
Imagine the side of a cliff, acouple hundred meter drop.
You cannot see what's been thelead, what's under, like what is

(05:27):
on the bottom of that cliff?
Okay, let's just say and yousee, and then you take a bunch
of logs okay tree logs and youjam it on the side of the
mountain right, you jam on theside of the hill, forming a like
kind of like a bridge rightthat extends further past.
So I hope I'm making sense.

(05:47):
In other words, it's creatinglike a little scenic spot out
past the cliff and that is whereyou shit.
If I remember correctly, therewere four to five logs jammed in
on the side.
There was some plastic coveringalong the side so people
couldn't see you.
But when I walked in there, thefour or five logs were placed

(06:13):
evenly, with space in the middle.
That's where your shit and yourpiss went.
It was insane and as I sat thereI was thinking, not holy shit,
I hope I don't fall.
I was hoping my phone doesn'tfall.
But as I was squatting theretaking my shit, of course I
looked down and then I looked up.

(06:34):
It was just a panorama view ofjust beauty.
I just squatted there justtaking a shit, enjoying the view
, and that was probably the bestview obviously any man could
hope for while taking a shit.
But it was just so differentfrom the city life that I became

(06:57):
so accustomed to Living inShanghai.
This was unheard of.
I didn't even know a place likethis existed until I got there
in Shanghai.
This was unheard of.
I didn't even know a place likethis existed until I got there.
I was a bit anxious for thefirst day or two because my
phone had no signal and therewas nothing to do there.
Nobody spoke Chinese or Englishand I was there alone with
nothing to do except sit, wanderaround, pray with the monks and

(07:21):
meditate.
And for the first time in mylife, I think, it gave me some
peace of mind.
And on a sunny weekend LBbrought me out to the
mountaintop on a different sideof the mountain to enjoy the
weather.
It was beautiful that day, itwas sunny, and he brought out a
bunch of candy and snacks.

(07:42):
I saw the orphans all playingtogether.
All at once they climbed on topof the hill and then they
started rolling down like littleballs.
It was really cool.
And to see who's faster, theyjust tuck themselves in and just
roll down the mountain.
And all these monks had theirrobes on and they're, and it was
really cute how they wrapped itaround themselves and they all

(08:04):
look the same.
Not only did 100 or so orphansstay in this temple, but LPO
also had other temples elsewherethat had even more orphans.
Like I said before, parents whowere sick couldn't afford it or
check this out.
The youngest in the familynormally would end up as a monk.
So if you had three kids, theyoungest boy would end up as a

(08:25):
monk.
So if you had three kids, theyoungest boy would end up as a
monk.
And this is not a bad thing inTibet.
So in Chinese culture, forinstance, or even any Asian
culture, if your son comes up toyou one day but hey dad, I
think I'm going to be a monk,hey mom, I'm going to be a monk,
you probably would not takethat very well, but in Tibet
it's a privilege, and so theyoungest one, because of the

(08:48):
scarce resources, they would gooff and become monks themselves.
They typically stayed at thetemple, regardless of how old
they are when they came in.
They would stay there untilthey're 18.
And at that point they canchoose whether or not to become
a monk for the rest of theirlives or to go out into society,
and I heard most of them, ifnot 90% of them, end up staying

(09:12):
and remaining as a monk.
And I was amazed at just howpeople just drop their kids off
there.
And I guess just how we don'tunderstand practicing polyandry.
And I guess just how we don'tunderstand practicing polyandry,
we will never understand whyit's such an honor to have your
kid become a monk.

(09:33):
And from a distance I noticedthis girl because she was
wearing all white, verynoticeable under the sun.
She was carrying something veryheavy on her back.
Her back was slouched over andI walked down to give her a hand
.
I had nothing else better to do.
She was a very pretty youngTibetan lady and it was then I
noticed that she only had onearm.

(09:55):
Life Buddha told me later thather arm had an infection when
she was young and they had toamputate the entire arm due to
the lack of medical attentionthere.
They all said eyes are thewindows to one's soul and that

(10:15):
is absolutely true.
Coming from the bustling city,all I saw in their eyes were
purity and I bet all they saw inmine was just greed, tiredness,
fatigue, and for them theydidn't seem like they had a care
in the world.
I admire that, just like on theside of the roads when your car

(10:39):
breaks down.
These guys just sit there,because they know panicking or
being anxious about it would nothelp.
There's one around.
Might as well enjoy yourself,and that's the kind of creed
that the tibetans live by.
And the car ride back was alittle bit scary too, because
because um it was raining prettyhard.

(10:59):
There were landslides everywhere, and at one, one of our wheels
fell into this deep mud mud likepool, and both of our wheels.
The entire car just tilted toone side, and I was on that side
.
The driver told me to scoot onthe other side so the car would
balance out while he tried toget the car out, and beneath me

(11:20):
was like a hundred meter dropinto a lake.
It was frightening as hell, andif this was anywhere else I
think I would have panicked, butfor some reason I just wasn't
worried, and even if the car didfall over, I just felt
something was protecting me.
I don't know.
It was probably because I wastoo tired or I was lacking

(11:44):
oxygen a lot at that time.
Deep down inside, though, Iknew I wanted to come back, I
wanted to explore, and I wantedto bring these stories back to
my family, because this time Iwent alone and it wouldn't be
too long until I stepped footback into bed again.