S1E5 - China's Heaven & Hell: Working as a pimp - Part 5

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Stepping back into the shadowy world of Shanghai's KTV clubs, we pick up where we left off in the previous episode - exploring life as a "duck" or paid male companion in China's evolving nightlife scene. 

The unexpected relationships formed with wealthy female clients reveal complex human stories beneath the surface of simple transactions. My first regular, a divorced businesswoman seeking some form of revenge after her husband left her for a KTV hostess, challenges my expectations with her gentle manner and genuine conversation. Rather than the predatory encounter my manager warned about, we develop a respectful dynamic where I eventually feel uncomfortable accepting her generous tips.

My second regular client presents a more troubled soul - a Beijing-born heiress with British education and a horrifying self-inflicted wrist wound. Her heartbreaking story of betrayal during pregnancy, subsequent abortion, and suicide attempt emerges during emotional breakdowns between clubbing and drinking. Our relationship evolves into something resembling siblings rather than a client-companion dynamic, forcing me to confront the inadequacy of my life experience when faced with such profound pain.

The cultural context adds fascinating layers to these interactions. In China at that time, women were expected to remain conservative before marriage while potentially becoming more open afterward - the inverse of typical Western patterns. The entire industry operated with strict unwritten rules about discretion, especially for married clients. Fast forward years later, and my disturbing visit to the exclusive "White Horse Club" reveals how dramatically the landscape had shifted, with venues now openly catering exclusively to women seeking male company.

These experiences offer rare insight into the evolution of gender dynamics in modern China and the universal human search for connection, even when packaged as a commercial transaction. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where societal expectations clashed with your personal values? Share your thoughts and follow for the next installment of this continuing story.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yo, what's up everyone?
Welcome back to another episodeof Asian Uncle.
Let's start where we left offlast time.
So that was the first time Ireally quote-unquote sold myself
for money to be somebody'scompany.
I had mixed feelings even now,but back then it was kind of
exciting.

(00:21):
And she didn't just come thatonce.
She would come to see me onceor twice a month at least, and
most of the time she would comealone.
That's what was surprising.
She would sit, sing, dance,order a bottle of expensive wine
, some Sprite, and all shewanted to do was just hear me
sing and chat.

(00:41):
And during our conversation shewould break a smile here and
there.
And I couldn't help but to beattracted to her by her
matureness.
I'd never been with a girl somuch older than me, or at least
10 years older than me, but Istill didn't know what her age

(01:01):
was.
It was just impolite to ask her.
And we did go out for amidnight snack after the first
encounter, but surprisingly shenever asked me to go back to her
place and she told me laterthat she recently divorced and
was left with a kid and plentyof money.
Her husband left her for a KTVgirl Ironic, isn't it?

(01:23):
So she said she wanted to comein and see what it was like.
It was more like a revenge forher than really needing my
company.
And when she told me that Ididn't know how to respond,
except I just asked her to stoptipping me.
It made me feel guilty and Ijust wanted to be friends.

(01:44):
But she smiled and she tippedme anyways.
I felt it wasn't that bad.
It wasn't as scary as Iimagined and it wasn't as scary
as my manager said that she wasgoing to eat me alive.
Will they?
Probably Some do, but I waslucky to have had such a nice

(02:05):
customer that didn't want topush some agenda on me or slap
me in the face to degrade me.
Some women do that.
Now my second regular.
She was a bit different.
She's from Beijing, again,around 30 years old, a little
bit over.
She came from a rich family andshe can speak fluent English,
the real English, and she wentto school in UK.

(02:27):
And this one she was morehyperactive than the first.
She liked fast beat music,didn't like slow dance, and she
often asked me instead of goingto midnight snack, she asked me
to go clubbing with her.
I think I only went once ortwice.
I didn't like going clubbing,it just felt so the bass kind of
hurts my, that kind of hurts mybody.

(02:48):
I just don't like thatenvironment.
And my manager would always sayall these women who pay for
company have a story to them andif I can make them spew out the
story and feel for them, hitthe sweet spot, then I would get
better tip.
And indeed this one did too.
She had a very obvious storyBecause when I first met her I

(03:13):
noticed a deep I mean like deepgash on her wrist, not like a
slice deep, okay, it looked likeshe took a knife, stabbed it in
and turned it.
It was just so obvious so shewould always wear like a Cartier
bracelet to hide it.
But still, you could, you couldtell.

(03:36):
She would tell me later on thatshe dated this guy for 5 years.
He was also from a good family,her parents loved him, they
were the perfect match made inheaven.
And she caught him cheatingwhen she was pregnant I don't
know if it was a KTV girl, Idon't even want to ask, I don't
even want to know and theydivorced because of it and she

(03:59):
had an abortion.
And sometimes when she wouldget drunk she would just grab me
and just start crying and shewould tell me how much she
regretted it, regret, whatRegret having the abortion,
regret meeting the guy.
And sometimes, when she spewedher heart out, she would even

(04:20):
tell me she was too immatureback then because she was
raising a good family so shedidn't learn the value of being
a forgiving wife.
What if she just looked theother way?
You know what if she just hadthe baby, took care of him,
looked the other way a coupleyears, for the guy to turn back.
And she always tell me that andagain, at the time I didn't

(04:42):
understand.
But looking back now I'm like,wow, there was something to
learn from her words.
Her experience should have beenwisdom for me.
Honestly, I should have taken anotepad and write it down.
She also told me that indeed,she didn't just slit her wrist,

(05:04):
she wanted to kill herself afterthe abortion.
She was in depression and shedid stab her knife into her
wrist and turn it, and so shesmiled right after she told me
this horrific story and said Idon't care anymore, I just want
to have fun now.
And she was really cool.
She would always call me out togo clubbing, which I don't
really go, but we would go todinner instead, and she liked to

(05:26):
buy me gifts, took care of memore like a little brother
instead of a lover.
I mostly refused.
Unless it was small, like awallet or a tie or a belt, I
would take, but I would nevertake cash from her.
It just felt so dirty.
That was already like I need toset my bar low, but I can't not

(05:48):
have one.
So for me, not taking cash hasbeen my trademark.
Don't tip me in cash.
Give me a gift, I don't know.
Use a credit card at the clubor something, just don't pay me
in cash.
It just made me feel so dirtyand so we went out a lot.
By the time she already feltlike an older sister to me.
I would drive her home and shewould just get just shit-faced

(06:12):
and again she would cry.
The crying happens she justbreaks down.
It's like a trigger for her.
She could cry anytime.
We'd be clubbing in the middle,she'd be dancing, she'd just
break down crying.
She'd be in the car, just breakdown crying.
And that was how she was.
She just wanted this channel tolet herself go, let herself
loose and not think about whatshe had been through.

(06:35):
And all my girlfriends beforehave been high school college.
They were like blank pieces ofpaper from the US.
Some of them even never leftthe state and seeing real women,
mature women, kind of terrifiedme too, in a sense, and I
wasn't used to these stories.

(06:55):
And after they told me I had noway of comforting them.
I felt like a ditz, like okay,after they'd run these stories
to me I'm like all right, whatyou want to drink, you want to
fuck?
Like what do you want to do?
Like what do you want me to doabout?
There's no advice that I cangive you to even comfort you.
So I'd rather stop askingquestions at that point.

(07:18):
And it felt weird.
Not only because of that,because even she felt weird.
Both of them felt kind ofuneasy when they called me as
company and then tipped me, eventhough they didn't show it in
front of me, because Chinahadn't opened up back then.
Yet.
In that aspect, women were moreconservative before marriage,

(07:39):
yet they were more open aftermarriage.
Same thing for men, and in theUS it feels like the opposite,
where women get it all out oftheir system and they become
very conservative after they getmarried.
And I think that ideal is.
There's no good or bad.
It's based on our religion, ourculture, whatever it might be.

(08:00):
But in China at the time thiswas not a thing.
Women were expected to be home,take care of the family, and
that's how our cultureprogressed.
So for them to come out and paymen and for men to do this job
was just degrading all aroundthe board.
There's nothing I could tellanybody, especially my parents,

(08:20):
for instance, or elders, thatcould justify being a duck or
selling my body for somebody'scompany.
Yet there was a huge market andit wouldn't be long for Chinese
women to turn that culturearound.
At the time, all the KTVnightclubs offered service to

(08:42):
women.
All the KTV nightclubs offeredservice to women, but it wasn't
a mainstream.
You wouldn't have men line uplike the women.
It would be more low key.
You don't want people to findout.
And they made sure these duckspeople like me were well-groomed
, well-educated and didn't talkshit or didn't cause any trouble
for these girls, because someof them were still married.
So yes, with us and with PRgirls there were hidden rules.

(09:08):
You couldn't disturb theirfamily.
But with young kids nowadaysyou never know what they're
going to do, especially formoney.
But back then it was stillconservative, but things changed
and it was pretty cool.
Years later, maybe like 10, 15years later, the market opened
up big enough for a dedicatedKTV nightclub to show up in

(09:29):
Shanghai.
This nightclub was called theWhite Horse Club and it only
served women.
There was no PR girls in there,only guys.
By guys I mean ducks, andnormally people won't go there,
especially if you're a guy.
You're not going to go therefor business, because they don't

(09:50):
serve men.
It's dedicated.
But I did go there once to meetmy older sister, like a close
family friend, not a real sister, and she was rich as shit in
her 40s and, mind you, I was atthat time already in my early
30s, I was already successful, Ialready making money and that

(10:11):
working in the KTV was longbefore me and she was throwing a
party there and asked me tostop by.
So this white horse club waslocated pretty city center and
it was hidden.
There was a little smallelevator that took you up the
stairs to where you wanted to goand once the elevator door

(10:33):
opened, I swear to God, therewas the most disturbing sight.
In front of me there was thisfat lady, probably in her 50s,
wearing like a tight nightgownand her jelly rolls were just
overflowing through her stomach,like her chest was down to her
hips.
And to make it worse, she washolding, like with her arms

(10:57):
Grasping, two good looking dudesRight, clean, cut, good shape,
tall, and these guys were justfollowing her towards the
elevator.
She was walking down, she was alittle bit tipsy and these
dudes spoke like they werebitches.
Right, they were like, gigglyand acting like little silly
bastards, right, walking towardsme.

(11:18):
That lady, that fat lady, wasalready disturbing enough and I
had to see these two bitchesnext to her and the way they
talked it was just and I walkedpast them, just clenching my
teeth and my fist.
It was.
It kind of brought backmemories of of, you know, like

(11:38):
when I used to work, but not tothat extent, you know, and I was
happy that I didn't have any 50year old ladies, you know,
wearing nightgowns or jellyrolls.
Nonetheless, when I went intothe room, my sisters were
already drinking and the roomwas like any other, except the
server was a guy kneeling on thefloor.

(11:59):
And when I got there, because Iwas in a hurry, I didn't get to
use the bathroom.
I remember very clearly that Itried to use the bathroom and
the server stopped me and toldme it was women only.
But I already got halfway inand I got heated.
I was like then where's themen's bathroom?
He's like, oh, there's onlypublic men's bathroom.

(12:20):
So I was like you mean to tellme, as a guest, I gotta go
fucking use a public bathroomoutside with the rest of the
ducks?
And he's like, yeah, but mysister came to greet me at the
time.
She heard it.
She told me to shut the fuck upand I went in.
And then when I went in Irealized why.
The place was nice, smellingwith perfume.

(12:43):
There were rose petals in thetoilet bowl and I couldn't wait
to pee on them.
It was really cool.
It was just like a.
Very inside it was decoratedvery nice.
It was still small but verycozy and they used great
material great TV, great soundsystem.
Everything was marble, glass.

(13:04):
The place looked eloquent, highclass, but from the outside you
couldn't even tell.
That's all the time we have.
We'll pick up next episode.
Thank you again for tuning inand follow for updates.
Have a great rest of your week.
That's all the time we have.

(13:33):
We'll pick up next episode.
Thank you again for tuning inand follow for updates.
Have a great rest of your week.