October 3, 2025 • 39 mins
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What does immigration look like from inside the room where every word matters? I step behind the headlines to share what I’ve learned as a Mandarin interpreter working across ICE—moving from intake to medical checks to immigration court—translating for people who’ve crossed jungles, oceans, and moral gray areas in search of a future. It’s not a defense and it’s not a takedown. It’s a field guide to a system most people only see when it’s already on fire.
We break down how Chinese migrants actually get here: social media “guides,” snakehead and coyote networks, the Ecuador-to-Darién route, and the staggering debts that trail them into American kitchens and construction sites. We talk about the quieter path—tourist visas that turn into overstay cases—and why some asylum stories sound coached while others are chillingly real. Along the way, I share why jargon kills clarity, how trauma shows up in interview rooms, and why the difference between criminal court and immigration court changes everything, from legal rights to realistic expectations.
There’s no glamour here, but there is dignity—sometimes from officers the internet loves to hate, sometimes from detainees who’ve carried more than most of us could bear. If someone you love is taken, I outline the steps that matter: don’t resist, get an immigration-specific attorney, use visitation and calls, and say less until counsel is present. We also demystify roles (ERO vs HSI), hiring myths, training standards, and why term positions complicate career decisions. The goal isn’t to make you pick a side; it’s to arm you with real context so your opinions aren’t built on clips and captions.
If this conversation helps you see the moving parts more clearly, share it with a friend, subscribe for future deep dives, and leave a review with the one question you still want answered. Your questions shape the stories we tell next.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Yo, what's up, everyone?
Welcome back to Agent Uncle.
And I'm your host, Uncle Wong.
So before we start, I'd like tosincerely thank our listeners.
That's you, each and every oneof you.
Because since our launch, we'vebeen hitting extraordinary
numbers.
We've had much support from youguys.
And it just gives me moremotivation to continue this
(00:20):
podcast.
So thank you.
And because of that, um, Idecided to bring you a new
special today.
And the topic is rathersensitive.
Because being immigrants in thiscountry, it's hard to ignore
what's happening around us.
This isn't just an Asian-relatedtopic, but for everyone that's
(00:40):
essentially an immigrant,regardless of your color.
And it's obvious from myprevious episodes that I'm a bit
crazy.
And one of my hobbies is toexperience all walks of life.
And hence how I worked as a pimpin China before, too.
(01:01):
And this was a brand newexperience.
Just like being a pimp was abrand new experience.
So around last year, uh, giventhat my kids are older and that
I'm now semi-retired, I decided,you know, to get a part-time job
like everybody else.
Something respectable, more orless, but most importantly,
(01:23):
something that I would enjoy.
That's not dull and not toodemanding of me physically and
mentally.
Make sense?
Kind of like a lazy work.
So out of all the jobs that Icould have done with my
experience or with my schooling,I decided to become an
interpreter.
(01:44):
Mainly a Chinese Mandarininterpreter.
It's good pay, freelance hours,and it's a no-brainer for me.
I'm really fluent in bothlanguages, and it just comes
natural to me.
So after I went through all theinterpreter training and became
certified, I then needed to lookfor a job like everybody else,
right?
So I sent out my resume.
(02:05):
You know, I haven't written aresume in years, and I didn't
have any resume targeted towardsbeing an interpreter either.
So I didn't get many responsesas you can imagine.
But I did get one, and it wasthe first response that I got.
It was a contractor from nowimmigration and custom
enforcement.
Everyone should know them asICE.
(02:27):
And mind you, that this isbefore all these crazy raids you
see in the news happen.
So not many people besides myfamily members and some close
friends know that I work forthem.
I also live in a sanctuarystate.
So letting people know what I doas a side gig is probably not
the best idea.
And of course, whether you are apermanent employee or you're a
(02:50):
contractor, you go through atedious background check.
And it makes you feel veryuncomfortable.
So any of you guys out therethat have worked for the feds
before, you know I'm talkingabout.
And this background checktypically goes on for months,
depending on how you know hownaughty you've been.
And while I waited and waited, Islowly became one of the most
(03:13):
feared and most hated federalagencies.
And that brings me to the reasonwhy I want to discuss this.
Because I see a lot ofmisunderstandings.
And I want to bring you a freshperspective, sort of from an
insider.
But before we start, I want toremind you guys that I'm not
paid to do marketing for them.
(03:34):
Okay, I will speak every bit oftruth, good or bad, as long as
it does not breach my workcontract.
Okay.
So that's what I can promise youright now.
So, first off, there are manyjobs within ice.
Okay.
It's not just the dudes kickingdown doors and dragging people
in.
Most of them you'll never see.
(03:55):
And the ones you do see, like Isaid before, are those burly
fellows tackling people to theground.
They're mostly what you call thedeportation officers or DOs.
And they work within a specificbranch called the ERO or the
enforcement and removaloperations.
Okay, the people that you don'tsee on the streets normally are
the investigators, the analysts,the legal and health
(04:18):
professionals, and the variousspecialized support staff in the
background, like myself.
But I think of all the jobswithin these departments, the
most interesting part I thinkwould be my job.
Okay, because I get to workacross department with almost
every single one of them.
(04:39):
And from the moment a Chineselegal is apprehended, brought in
for questioning, booked intodetention, health checks, and
even when they appear inimmigration court to argue their
case, I'm that weird ass uncleeavesdropping and sneaking
himself into every conversation.
I know pretty much every detailof the detainee, their
(05:02):
situation, their family, thereason for coming here,
including their health.
And speaking of health, one partof our interpreter training to
work for ICE was actually mentalhealth.
Because obviously throughoutwork, we're going to hear some
very traumatic stories.
(05:24):
And I have.
So I work a 28-hour weekly shiftfor them.
That's a little bit more than Ilike as a side gig, but
nonetheless, it really doesn'tfeel like work.
And truth be told, I didn't wantto share any of this, you know,
until I saw a comment thatsomeone left uh out of a post on
(05:49):
some news channel.
And it said, quote unquote, ifhe had a drop of Hispanic blood,
he wouldn't be a nice agent.
This was criticizing an officer.
Um, obviously he's Latino, andhe was arresting, quote unquote,
his own.
Pretty intense, huh?
Oh, see, that's when I sat backand I kind of thought the same
(06:12):
thing.
You know, what others from mybackground, right, Chinese
specifically, think of me thesame.
And Chinese, we have a term.
It's called Han Jian.
It's used specifically todescribe traders that worked for
the Japanese Imperial Armyduring World War II while China
(06:33):
was being invaded.
Okay, so the first thought thatI had was that shit, man, I
became a Han Jian.
And that's why I pretty muchkept it to myself.
I don't want to share any ofthis.
Um, obviously, I didn't shareany part of my work, even with
my family.
But now I think it's a goodtime, um, better than ever, to
share some honest insights withyou all so that you can have a
(06:56):
real understanding of what'sgoing on.
Because one thing that we couldprobably all agree on is that
the media blows shit out ofproportion.
They always have and they alwayswill.
Okay, for instance, there's uh Iread a very touching article one
day.
All right, it was fixated on adetainee, an illegal immigrant,
(07:19):
and it was describing hisfamily, uh, his loving wife, his
kids.
And the entire article spokeabout how wrong his apprehension
was, the terrible ordeal thefamily had to go through, um,
the mental trauma, et cetera, etcetera.
And it wasn't until the very endthat they remembered to mention
(07:40):
that this dude had been in jailfor manslaughter and robbery 15
years ago.
Okay.
So that article was a waste ofmy time.
Because what am I exactlysupposed to do with that
information?
And what are you supposed to dowith that information?
Politics is what caused thisdivision.
Now I left at the U I left theUS in back in 2002.
(08:05):
So for more than 15 years.
And when I came back, uh nothingwas the same.
Okay, Americans weren't thesame, our culture wasn't the
same.
You know, shit, even the foodwasn't the same.
I saw on the news just the otherday, uh, some dude got arrested
for assault.
You know, all because he wantedto have his voice heard and
(08:28):
thought it'd be a good idea tothrow shit at ICE agents and
then make a run for it.
You know, I couldn't help butask myself, dude, why?
You know, why lose your job overthis and have something of your
record?
Even though you're not going tobe charged with a felony, most
likely.
But you know, it's just why whyare you playing this game to
(08:49):
begin with?
You know, having said that, Ithink everyone that joins ICE,
uh, whether you're a fieldofficer on the front lines or
you're doing contract work inthe back, you know, unless your
ancestry is very American, uh,you more or less would feel some
(09:10):
sort of uh what I call socialpressure.
You know, it's more of us beingworried that people close to us
won't understand that it's justa job.
It's not a hobby.
I've dealt with many deportationofficers, uh special agents, and
I'm telling you, they're justtrying to do their jobs.
(09:33):
And sometimes the other sidemakes it very hard for them.
And when mistakes do happen, itoften gets blown out of
proportion.
For instance, like arresting aU.S.
citizen by accident, you know,using what seems like excessive
force, you know, pushing amother to the ground.
Right?
All these things you see on TV,on the news.
(09:56):
And worst of all, as I'm doingthis recording, someone killed
Charlie Kirk.
You know, I you know, I neverliked him, I didn't like him.
He seemed too ambitious for hisage.
But what he was trying to do wasreverse some of the seemingly
absurd ideologies that ouryounger generation have today,
(10:16):
our college students.
And for that, he was murdered incold blood.
Okay, this is how divided weare.
This is the type of fear that weeven have as you know, federal
workers, politicians, you know,civil servants.
(10:38):
So that's another reason why I'mdoing this special, to let you
know the truth.
So you can approach this withlogic and not just judgment and
criticism, okay, both regardingour system and the illegals that
shouldn't be here.
You have to know what's going onbefore you judge.
(10:59):
So, what's it like interpretingand eavesdropping into these
conversations?
Most people would find this partmore interesting.
And so I like to preface this bysaying that I only deal with
Chinese illegals, obviously.
And for different parts of theworld, the situation could be
(11:21):
completely different.
Okay, so what I'm referring tonow was specifically regarding
immigrants, illegal immigrantsthat came from China.
And so the first thing Irealized was that I could not
use difficult words.
(11:42):
And using legal or medicaljargons just makes everybody's
lives more difficult.
And then throughout theseconversations, it's interesting
to learn that someone actuallytaught them how to do it, you
know, told them that it could bedone, and that if you followed
(12:05):
these guidelines, you could findyourself living the American
dream.
And these weren't from theinterrogations themselves.
This was from me actually goingon Chinese TikTok and surfing
through.
Surprisingly, I found a lot oftopics and how-to related videos
(12:29):
about how to enter the USillegally, whether it's through
Saipan or Guam or throughMexico.
unknown (12:41):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
And I was just astonished to see that people
actually buy this shit.
People actually fell for it.
People actually thought theywere coming here to make more
money and to live a better life.
And yes, you do make dollars.
A dollar is worth more than oneRB.
But the spending isproportionate.
(13:03):
Okay, 2,000 RB in rent, which isequivalent to like$300 here,
okay, is the same as$2,000 renthere in the city.
Not only that, you have to workhere in fear, even before these
raids.
You can't speak the language,and therefore you might not even
get the fair wage that youdeserve.
(13:26):
Okay, not to mention how muchmoney you had to pay a snakehead
to get here in the first place.
A snakehead.
I don't know if many of youheard that term before, but
these are essentially humansmugglers.
Okay, specifically humantrafficking, not drugs.
(13:47):
And this term actually comesfrom the Chinese Soto.
So for Chinese illegals, thisterm is specific to them.
Now for Mexico, for instance,it's different.
For the Hispanic community, it'sdifferent.
They call them coyotes.
It means essentially the samething.
They're the point man of a humantrafficking operation.
(14:09):
The other ones who smuggledrugs, and for instance, they're
called mules.
These different slang terms thatyou would pretty much
familiarize yourself with, it'spart of my job as well.
And so what these stakeheads do,or these coyotes do, is that
they take your money and thenthey plan out your entire
travel.
They plan out your entireitinerary.
(14:30):
Depending on how much you pay,you would obviously get
different types of services,including arrangement travels,
where you how do you get frompoint A to point B, and how you
get to the border, eventuallyhow you cross the border and
what you tell the border patrolafterwards.
And if you're lucky enough,you'll find a snakehead who's
(14:51):
well connected here, that couldpotentially arrange a job
opportunity for you.
And so how much are we talkingabout here?
People think that trafficking ahuman here or trying to smuggle
yourself in across the bordershouldn't be too expensive, but
it actually is.
Surprisingly, the running rateduring the pandemic was 300,000
(15:14):
RB, which is equivalent toroughly$42,000,$43,000 here.
Some pay less, but do know thatthat would exponentially
increase your risk of not makingit.
And what I mean by not makingit, I will just you know I'll go
into that very soon, don'tworry.
What I mean by not making it isnot, it just doesn't mean you
(15:37):
failed at crossing the border.
It means that you literallydidn't make it.
That you died.
Okay, or you didn't crosssuccessfully for whatever
reason.
But let's say you do make it.
You're one of the many that domake it.
Now you're$50,000 in debt, andyou will most definitely
struggle to make ends meet here.
(15:59):
Okay, how?
The legals here are strugglingto make ends meet.
So the paradox is many argueit's inhumane.
It's cruel to separate thesefamilies, to deprive them of a
better life, to deprive them ofan opportunity for education,
(16:22):
etc., etc.
And that ultimately us Americansshould be better than that.
You know what?
I agree.
I'm not arguing against that.
But what you have to realize isthat that's not the government's
job.
Okay, the government's job is tomake sure that not everyone we
(16:44):
pity end up here.
It's for national security andnot feelings.
Their job is not to feel bad forthe single mother who tried to
cross the border with her kidsin the back of a trunk.
Do I feel bad at times?
Of course I do.
Truth be told, I I feel bad allthe time.
(17:08):
Whether their detainees aresick, uh, whether they're
pleading their case, beinginterrogated.
You know, I share that feeling,and I sometimes I would put
myself in their shoes.
Both their shoes.
The deportation officer tryingto do his job, as well as the
illegal trying to plead hiscase.
And I feel both sides.
(17:30):
But regardless, that should notaffect the way I do my job.
Okay, it should not be an excusefor me not to do my job or act
on impulse.
Right?
Because the more calm you are,the more things you're able to
see and hear.
And you soon realize that, waita minute, this is not what I was
(17:53):
told or what I imagined.
And I definitely can't speak forthe Chinese community, and not
even a part of them.
Because I don't know that manyChinese people here.
But what I do know is thatbecause of how most of us,
specifically the Chinese, camehere, right, we tend to have a
(18:17):
more negative feeling towardsillegal immigration.
Tend to lean moreconservatively, if you know what
I mean.
Okay, here's why.
And this pertains only to theChinese.
I'm sure you've all heard of theChinese Exclusion Act.
So this was the first piece oflegislature targeting Chinese
immigrants specifically.
They're taking our jobs, they'renot welcomed here.
(18:40):
And of course, as you all know,it was abolished.
But even after that, they madeit extremely difficult for
Chinese nationals to come here.
And how hard was it actually forinstance for a Chinese person to
come here if you were notrelated to anybody who's a
citizen?
Let me tell you, as an example,my father had to be accepted by
(19:04):
an Ivy League, apply for studentvisa, graduate, get a job to be
able to get a working visa.
And then 15 years later, ourfamily applied for citizenship.
That's how a majority of legalimmigrants had to do it.
Work visa, student visa, and tryto establish yourself
(19:24):
professionally here.
So meaning that they had tocontribute first before they
could take.
Or at least do at the same time.
So when these group of, let'ssay, Chinese elites, right, when
they see illegals here, youknow, in most cases, they're not
happy.
(19:45):
They're not happy that theirhard-earned money, their taxes,
their insurance, is going tofeed house and educate those
that didn't come here the properway.
You get what I mean?
And how are we to judge whetheror not that's fair?
Do you think it's fair?
I don't think it's fair.
But people are afraid to admitit.
(20:07):
They're afraid what others mightthink of them.
And so you see, the problem isnot ICE.
It's our split ideology, oftenmanipulated by media.
So before we drift too offtopic, I want to share something
interesting with you.
(20:28):
And that's how illegal Chinesealiens, immigrants get here.
Specifically the Chinese.
What route they take.
Now there's a more dignified wayto do it, and there's a less
dignified way to do it.
The better way to do it would beon a tourist visa.
(20:48):
Right?
Overstay and claim asylum ormarry a citizen.
That's all you have to do.
Go to the embassy, apply for atourist visa, look presentable,
have enough savings, which ispretty minimal, by the way.
Okay, around$7,000 in deposit totravel to America on a tourist
(21:10):
visa.
That's it.
It's not that hard.
And then the less dignified wayto get here, I'm not making this
up.
You can see this all overYouTube.
They crossed the border fromSouth America.
This was popularized, I thinkmaybe like 2018, 2019, a little
bit before the pandemic, and itexploded during the pandemic.
(21:34):
And on these videos, you wouldsee how they cross the border
from South America or how theyfloat across the Pacific to
Saipan and Guang.
And how do I learn this?
Again, our social media andChinese social media.
It's all over the place.
There's a step-by-step guide onhow to come here and what to do
(21:56):
after you get here, how to claimasylum, what to say, even to the
judge.
There's even shady websites fullof job postings specifically
targeted towards illegalimmigration.
It's ridiculous.
You could see jobs fromdishwasher to masseuse, you
(22:17):
know, to hairdresser toconstruction worker.
There's more jobs there on thosewebsites than I see on Indeed or
LinkedIn.
And so let's focus on thatpopular route.
The one that was popularizedjust recently.
It's also the less dignifiedalternative, and that's trekking
(22:39):
through South America.
How do they do it?
They would fly to a thirdcountry, somewhere, anywhere,
with a tourist visa, and somehowend up in Ecuador.
Because in Ecuador, Chinesecitizens did not need a visa.
And from there, you meet yoursnakehead, you're picked up, and
(23:03):
you start your journey toAmerica.
If you pay the snakehead well,you get a tour guide, maybe a
ride, a car, to bring you toplaces.
And some are even flown toMexico.
They didn't have to walk acrossthe rainforest.
And if you didn't pay enough,then most likely you'd be on
(23:26):
your own.
That hike from Ecuador just toMexico border can take weeks or
even months, depending onfactors like weather, border
patrol, and even cartels.
So from Ecuador, you go toColombia, just north.
(23:48):
From there, you cross the DarrenGap.
That is a notorious route, whichis essentially a damp jungle.
It's a rainforest that you needto cross in order to get into
Panama.
And it doesn't end there.
From there, you cross into CostaRica, Nicaragua, Guatemala,
(24:09):
Honduras, and if you're lucky,finally end up safe and sound in
Mexico.
Can you just imagine for a secthat you cannot speak the
language and you end up inEcuador and you have to cross
like seven countries on footwith a tour guide?
With your family?
(24:30):
Right?
That must be horrible.
So do I feel for them?
Why wouldn't I?
Why wouldn't anybody?
In Chinese, we call this methodZhou Xian.
And it translates literally intowalking the line.
It's used to describe this newmethod of landing in Ecuador and
(24:51):
hiking your way to America.
If you type these words, walkingthe line, in YouTube, you'll get
a great visual.
And sadly to say, during thesecrossings, it's very dangerous.
And not everybody makes it.
There's threats of being killed,being kidnapped, starving to
(25:15):
death, uh, getting sick, orsimply not having enough money
to proceed any further becauseyou couldn't afford food.
Can you imagine how frighteningit must be for someone who does
not speak the language, whonever been to these parts of the
country before, to have to trucktheir way across seven, eight
(25:35):
countries to get here?
Right, so do I feel bad forthem?
Of course I do.
Wouldn't you?
Right, you cannot pay me enoughto even attempt that.
But what you also have tounderstand is, and also very
noteworthy, is the fact that whoare these people?
(25:56):
What type of people would choosethis sort of method?
Why not tourist visa?
Right?
Why not fly here?
Or why not fly to Mexico?
Or why do you have to trek allthis way?
And of course I wasn't the onlycurious one.
The reporters that walk thisline with these illegals asked
(26:19):
them, why did you take thisroute?
Why did you come?
And that's when you would hearsome absurd shit.
Okay, and as a Chinese who knowsChina well, I can tell you right
now that most of their claims isridiculous or full of shit.
(26:40):
You know, aside from being poor,not being able to afford the
deposit or provide for theirfamily as a reason for coming
here.
Besides that, many mention beingpersecuted.
Okay, there's ones that claim tobe persecuted for religious
reasons.
(27:01):
Why?
Because we have a huge loopholein our country's law.
And that's our very firstamendment granting the freedom
of religion.
So technically it's not theirfault, it's ours.
They know how to navigate oursystem and to use it.
And trust me, the snakeheadsknow full well how to exploit
(27:23):
the system and use it to claimasylum.
Once they cross the bordersuccessfully.
That's how the system works.
In those interviews, like youwould see people claiming that
they're Christians and that theywere beaten by the police or
persecuted by the localgovernment.
And I'm gonna tell you straightup, responsibly, that that's
(27:47):
full of shit.
China has more problems to worryabout than whether or not an
outcast from his own societybelieves in Jesus our Savior.
They only care aboutChristianity, for instance, not
becoming a cult.
They don't care whether or notyou go to church on Sundays.
(28:10):
They don't.
So this claim is just ridiculousin my mind.
It might make sense to you, butnot to me.
And you know how I know this?
Because I almost got myself intosimilar shit.
Almost, I think, 15 years ago, Igot into some little bit of
(28:31):
trouble for doing the samething, except it was more
extreme.
Me and my wife decided it wouldbe a good idea to visit the
Dalai Lama in India.
Of course, it didn't matter tome because I'm a US citizen.
By the time she was a Chinesecitizen, so she had to get a
visa.
And obviously, the Chinesegovernment does not like their
(28:53):
citizens visiting the DalaiLama.
We could get to that in some ina different topic.
And so what happened was my wifegot a call from the police.
They asked her some questions.
Like, why are you going there?
What's the purpose of your trip?
And most importantly, are yougoing to see the Dalai Lama?
(29:17):
And so my wife answered, we'rejust going to visit as a
tourist.
And that was that.
I ended up meeting the DalaiLama without much trouble.
So did my wife.
We didn't get our asses kicked,we didn't get locked up, we
didn't get persecuted.
And of course, if you're fundingthe Tibetan government, the
(29:40):
ousted Tibetan government,that'd be a whole different
story.
It's just like if you were tofund a terrorist group here in
the United States.
Right now, if China doesn't careabout its rich citizens visiting
the Daiai Lama, what possiblereason would they care about
these illegals going to church?
And yes, China has manychurches.
(30:02):
Believe it or not.
You have to register under theChinese government, obviously,
but then you can have your ownchurch.
Not being able to practiceChristianity is not a reason.
And so Chin so the Chinese isonly one ethnic group.
And they stand as not a bigpercentage of the total uh
(30:25):
amount of illegals that enterthe country here.
So you can imagine all thedifferent reasons why everybody
else would come.
The pressure it puts on oureconomy, despite some of his
advantages.
Because if it would happen toyou, you might not get the same
(30:46):
pity.
And talking about persecution.
Some indeed are persecuted.
But normally it would not be foryour religious belief.
It would be because you step onsomebody's toes, you're wealthy,
famous, one or the other.
I actually have an acquaintance.
(31:07):
Not a close friend, but justlike a business acquaintance.
He was recently taken aftergoing to an asylum interview.
He's taken by ICE.
He's one of the richest men Iknow.
So for a fact, I know he can'treturn to China because he is
definitely being persecuted.
That's at least a legitimateexcuse, don't you think?
(31:28):
Oh, but it's all fun and gamesuntil you or somebody close to
you, like a family member, getstaken.
So I like to spend a little timejust talking about what to do if
that does happen.
So if somebody close to you,like I mentioned before, gets
(31:49):
apprehended or gets approachedby uh immigration or border
patrol, whatever the case mightbe, first off, do not panic.
Do not resist arrest.
That never ends well.
Even if you're a citizen, andyou get snatched by a mistake,
God forbid.
Just think of this as, I don'tknow, a job fare or something.
(32:11):
Alright, once they know that youare a citizen, they will let you
out.
I don't know what else to tellyou.
Okay, they have their orders,and they will take you
regardless, unless you're fastenough to outrun them.
Alright?
That's just a simple truth.
And two, know your rights andhow to get access to assistance.
(32:35):
Okay, whether it's for you orfor somebody else.
In other words, get animmigration-specific attorney.
ICE detention is not prison.
Okay, people are allowed tovisit.
Nearly anyone.
Legal representatives have moreflexibility.
(32:55):
But you'll have to check theavailability at each detention
center.
Everyone's different.
They can make phone calls, theycan see doctors.
So there's no need to panic.
It's not like a basement-stylekidnap where you're deprived of
basic necessities.
It's not like that.
Number three, the detentioncenter is, although it's not
(33:19):
prison, it's not comfortableeither.
Okay.
But at least you won't besurrounded by violent criminals.
And as for the officers andstaff that worked there, I can
responsibly say that I havenever experienced an officer
agent or a contractor workingunder ice that treated detainees
without dignity.
(33:40):
And some were honestlysurprisingly nice.
You know, they were makingjokes.
There was actually laughter inthe room that, you know, where
they shouldn't be.
So that was something that Iexperienced was that was
interesting, where I felt, wow,it's not, you know, it's not
what you see in the news.
Like they clamp you down, theythey beat your ass, and then
(34:02):
they interrogate you.
It's not like that.
Okay, so that brings me tonumber four.
What happens after you'redetained?
Well, you are going to enterinto immigration court.
And it's worth noting thatimmigration court is not
criminal court.
Okay, so it's still part of ourcivil law system.
(34:22):
And it's not under our judicialsystem, it is under the
Department of Justice, theExecutive Branch.
Specifically, the ExecutiveOffice for Immigration Review.
And because it's a civil case,they will not appoint you a
lawyer.
You have to find one yourself.
Okay?
And let me remind you thatself-representing or going pro
(34:43):
se in immigration court isstatistically a bad idea.
Don't get a free lawyer eitherif you can afford better one.
Because it's more than likelythat you don't know shit about
immigration law and that's howyou ended up there in the first
place.
Okay, last but not least, watchwhat you say.
(35:06):
Don't cause more trouble foryourself and for the dude across
from you.
If they say you have the rightto remain silent, take the
offer.
If they say you have the rightto not answer, then don't.
Don't make this harder than itis.
So last but not least, a bit ofadvice for those that are
(35:28):
considering joining ICE.
Uh don't join unless you areready and you're capable.
It's not for everyone, andenough people have honestly
applied.
Okay, read the job descriptioncarefully.
Not all jobs are cool thatinvolve carrying a weapon.
If you don't enjoy for the rightreasons, then don't do it.
(35:50):
A shit bag officer is the lastperson we want wearing a badge.
The hiring process is oftenmisunderstood too.
Just recently, remember, uh theychanged the age requirement for
uh deportation officers fromunder 40 to now under 60.
And like I mentioned before, ICEhas a lot of department staff,
(36:12):
okay, a lot of support stafftoo.
And the ones you see on the newson the streets are normally the
uh ERO, as I mentioned before,the enforcement removal, or the
HSI, or human uh sorry, uhHomeland Security
Investigations.
So EROs have uh what you callthe DOs or the deportation
(36:34):
officers.
And HSI, which is theinvestigative arm of ISA.
They have the criminalinvestigators and what we call
the special agents.
As of now, they might be doingthe same jobs, but essentially
it's different.
Okay, so Google it if you'reinterested.
Uh, we won't go too much indepth here.
But let's take deportationofficers, for instance, the DOs,
(36:56):
okay, which is the only positionthe ICE currently has opened for
people over 40 and under 60, asof this recording.
Okay.
And uh let me tell you, it'sit's not an easy job.
Okay, you have to go throughalmost six months of basic
training before you even swearin.
Okay, that training is calledthe ICE Academy or the Basic
(37:17):
Immigration Law EnforcementTraining Program.
It's rather physical.
The instructors uh typicallycome from Border Patrol.
They're uh pretty tough.
It's gonna feel like militaryboot camp if you've ever been
there.
So if you're out of shape, ifyou have a shady record, you
won't qualify, or you probablywon't pass.
(37:39):
That background check, ofcourse, again, it will make you
feel mighty uncomfortable.
Just be prepared to tell themeverything.
And what's what's unattractiveabout this position for me
specifically is that it's uhwell, besides kicking down doors
and stuff, it's not my thing, isthat it's also a term position,
meaning that you have to gothrough all this training, um,
(38:02):
do all the stuff, uh, but you'reonly appointed in a term
position, meaning that if thejob doesn't require you anymore,
then it won't be permanent.
So, having said that, it's notlike the South Park episode
where they're pulling justrandom dudes off the streets to
(38:24):
become officers.
Okay, it's nothing like that.
That's another uh kind ofridiculous thing we see now in
the media.
You know, and if you don'tbelieve me, write up a resume
and submit it.
Okay, see if they see if you geta call.
Right?
That's the the most direct wayto see if something is nonsense.
So I hope everybody found thisspecial interesting.
(38:45):
Um, again, this kind of came outof nowhere, right?
The reason why I want to do thisspecial is because I wanted to
give you a glimpse of what it'sreally like, the truth, and not
just blindly trust the media.
And most of the stuff I'mtelling you now, it's public
information.
Plus a little bit of my personalexperience.
(39:07):
Sort of, again, to helpeverybody navigate.
And as I navigate thisinterpreter gig, I'll definitely
update you with stories becauseICE is not the only law
enforcement agency that I workfor.
Uh, both me and some of mycolleagues, we work for
different agencies like DEA,ATF, FBI, or even the local
(39:29):
police, border patrol.
So there's a lot of things thatwe come across every day that
normal people don't get to see.
And so I thought that would beinteresting, something that
everybody, I hope you'reinterested in.
But uh thanks for tuning in.
Uh join me next time.
Peace.
Yo, what's up, everyone?
Welcome back to Agent Uncle.
And I'm your host, Uncle Wong.
So before we start, I'd like tosincerely thank our listeners.
That's you, each and every oneof you.
Because since our launch, we'vebeen hitting extraordinary
numbers.
We've had much support from youguys.
And it just gives me moremotivation to continue this
(00:20):
podcast.
So thank you.
And because of that, um, Idecided to bring you a new
special today.
And the topic is rathersensitive.
Because being immigrants in thiscountry, it's hard to ignore
what's happening around us.
This isn't just an Asian-relatedtopic, but for everyone that's
(00:40):
essentially an immigrant,regardless of your color.
And it's obvious from myprevious episodes that I'm a bit
crazy.
And one of my hobbies is toexperience all walks of life.
And hence how I worked as a pimpin China before, too.
(01:01):
And this was a brand newexperience.
Just like being a pimp was abrand new experience.
So around last year, uh, giventhat my kids are older and that
I'm now semi-retired, I decided,you know, to get a part-time job
like everybody else.
Something respectable, more orless, but most importantly,
(01:23):
something that I would enjoy.
That's not dull and not toodemanding of me physically and
mentally.
Make sense?
Kind of like a lazy work.
So out of all the jobs that Icould have done with my
experience or with my schooling,I decided to become an
interpreter.
(01:44):
Mainly a Chinese Mandarininterpreter.
It's good pay, freelance hours,and it's a no-brainer for me.
I'm really fluent in bothlanguages, and it just comes
natural to me.
So after I went through all theinterpreter training and became
certified, I then needed to lookfor a job like everybody else,
right?
So I sent out my resume.
(02:05):
You know, I haven't written aresume in years, and I didn't
have any resume targeted towardsbeing an interpreter either.
So I didn't get many responsesas you can imagine.
But I did get one, and it wasthe first response that I got.
It was a contractor from nowimmigration and custom
enforcement.
Everyone should know them asICE.
(02:27):
And mind you, that this isbefore all these crazy raids you
see in the news happen.
So not many people besides myfamily members and some close
friends know that I work forthem.
I also live in a sanctuarystate.
So letting people know what I doas a side gig is probably not
the best idea.
And of course, whether you are apermanent employee or you're a
(02:50):
contractor, you go through atedious background check.
And it makes you feel veryuncomfortable.
So any of you guys out therethat have worked for the feds
before, you know I'm talkingabout.
And this background checktypically goes on for months,
depending on how you know hownaughty you've been.
And while I waited and waited, Islowly became one of the most
(03:13):
feared and most hated federalagencies.
And that brings me to the reasonwhy I want to discuss this.
Because I see a lot ofmisunderstandings.
And I want to bring you a freshperspective, sort of from an
insider.
But before we start, I want toremind you guys that I'm not
paid to do marketing for them.
(03:34):
Okay, I will speak every bit oftruth, good or bad, as long as
it does not breach my workcontract.
Okay.
So that's what I can promise youright now.
So, first off, there are manyjobs within ice.
Okay.
It's not just the dudes kickingdown doors and dragging people
in.
Most of them you'll never see.
(03:55):
And the ones you do see, like Isaid before, are those burly
fellows tackling people to theground.
They're mostly what you call thedeportation officers or DOs.
And they work within a specificbranch called the ERO or the
enforcement and removaloperations.
Okay, the people that you don'tsee on the streets normally are
the investigators, the analysts,the legal and health
(04:18):
professionals, and the variousspecialized support staff in the
background, like myself.
But I think of all the jobswithin these departments, the
most interesting part I thinkwould be my job.
Okay, because I get to workacross department with almost
every single one of them.
(04:39):
And from the moment a Chineselegal is apprehended, brought in
for questioning, booked intodetention, health checks, and
even when they appear inimmigration court to argue their
case, I'm that weird ass uncleeavesdropping and sneaking
himself into every conversation.
I know pretty much every detailof the detainee, their
(05:02):
situation, their family, thereason for coming here,
including their health.
And speaking of health, one partof our interpreter training to
work for ICE was actually mentalhealth.
Because obviously throughoutwork, we're going to hear some
very traumatic stories.
(05:24):
And I have.
So I work a 28-hour weekly shiftfor them.
That's a little bit more than Ilike as a side gig, but
nonetheless, it really doesn'tfeel like work.
And truth be told, I didn't wantto share any of this, you know,
until I saw a comment thatsomeone left uh out of a post on
(05:49):
some news channel.
And it said, quote unquote, ifhe had a drop of Hispanic blood,
he wouldn't be a nice agent.
This was criticizing an officer.
Um, obviously he's Latino, andhe was arresting, quote unquote,
his own.
Pretty intense, huh?
Oh, see, that's when I sat backand I kind of thought the same
(06:12):
thing.
You know, what others from mybackground, right, Chinese
specifically, think of me thesame.
And Chinese, we have a term.
It's called Han Jian.
It's used specifically todescribe traders that worked for
the Japanese Imperial Armyduring World War II while China
(06:33):
was being invaded.
Okay, so the first thought thatI had was that shit, man, I
became a Han Jian.
And that's why I pretty muchkept it to myself.
I don't want to share any ofthis.
Um, obviously, I didn't shareany part of my work, even with
my family.
But now I think it's a goodtime, um, better than ever, to
share some honest insights withyou all so that you can have a
(06:56):
real understanding of what'sgoing on.
Because one thing that we couldprobably all agree on is that
the media blows shit out ofproportion.
They always have and they alwayswill.
Okay, for instance, there's uh Iread a very touching article one
day.
All right, it was fixated on adetainee, an illegal immigrant,
(07:19):
and it was describing hisfamily, uh, his loving wife, his
kids.
And the entire article spokeabout how wrong his apprehension
was, the terrible ordeal thefamily had to go through, um,
the mental trauma, et cetera, etcetera.
And it wasn't until the very endthat they remembered to mention
(07:40):
that this dude had been in jailfor manslaughter and robbery 15
years ago.
Okay.
So that article was a waste ofmy time.
Because what am I exactlysupposed to do with that
information?
And what are you supposed to dowith that information?
Politics is what caused thisdivision.
Now I left at the U I left theUS in back in 2002.
(08:05):
So for more than 15 years.
And when I came back, uh nothingwas the same.
Okay, Americans weren't thesame, our culture wasn't the
same.
You know, shit, even the foodwasn't the same.
I saw on the news just the otherday, uh, some dude got arrested
for assault.
You know, all because he wantedto have his voice heard and
(08:28):
thought it'd be a good idea tothrow shit at ICE agents and
then make a run for it.
You know, I couldn't help butask myself, dude, why?
You know, why lose your job overthis and have something of your
record?
Even though you're not going tobe charged with a felony, most
likely.
But you know, it's just why whyare you playing this game to
(08:49):
begin with?
You know, having said that, Ithink everyone that joins ICE,
uh, whether you're a fieldofficer on the front lines or
you're doing contract work inthe back, you know, unless your
ancestry is very American, uh,you more or less would feel some
(09:10):
sort of uh what I call socialpressure.
You know, it's more of us beingworried that people close to us
won't understand that it's justa job.
It's not a hobby.
I've dealt with many deportationofficers, uh special agents, and
I'm telling you, they're justtrying to do their jobs.
(09:33):
And sometimes the other sidemakes it very hard for them.
And when mistakes do happen, itoften gets blown out of
proportion.
For instance, like arresting aU.S.
citizen by accident, you know,using what seems like excessive
force, you know, pushing amother to the ground.
Right?
All these things you see on TV,on the news.
(09:56):
And worst of all, as I'm doingthis recording, someone killed
Charlie Kirk.
You know, I you know, I neverliked him, I didn't like him.
He seemed too ambitious for hisage.
But what he was trying to do wasreverse some of the seemingly
absurd ideologies that ouryounger generation have today,
(10:16):
our college students.
And for that, he was murdered incold blood.
Okay, this is how divided weare.
This is the type of fear that weeven have as you know, federal
workers, politicians, you know,civil servants.
(10:38):
So that's another reason why I'mdoing this special, to let you
know the truth.
So you can approach this withlogic and not just judgment and
criticism, okay, both regardingour system and the illegals that
shouldn't be here.
You have to know what's going onbefore you judge.
(10:59):
So, what's it like interpretingand eavesdropping into these
conversations?
Most people would find this partmore interesting.
And so I like to preface this bysaying that I only deal with
Chinese illegals, obviously.
And for different parts of theworld, the situation could be
(11:21):
completely different.
Okay, so what I'm referring tonow was specifically regarding
immigrants, illegal immigrantsthat came from China.
And so the first thing Irealized was that I could not
use difficult words.
(11:42):
And using legal or medicaljargons just makes everybody's
lives more difficult.
And then throughout theseconversations, it's interesting
to learn that someone actuallytaught them how to do it, you
know, told them that it could bedone, and that if you followed
(12:05):
these guidelines, you could findyourself living the American
dream.
And these weren't from theinterrogations themselves.
This was from me actually goingon Chinese TikTok and surfing
through.
Surprisingly, I found a lot oftopics and how-to related videos
(12:29):
about how to enter the USillegally, whether it's through
Saipan or Guam or throughMexico.
unknown (12:41):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
And I was just astonished to see that people
actually buy this shit.
People actually fell for it.
People actually thought theywere coming here to make more
money and to live a better life.
And yes, you do make dollars.
A dollar is worth more than oneRB.
But the spending isproportionate.
(13:03):
Okay, 2,000 RB in rent, which isequivalent to like$300 here,
okay, is the same as$2,000 renthere in the city.
Not only that, you have to workhere in fear, even before these
raids.
You can't speak the language,and therefore you might not even
get the fair wage that youdeserve.
(13:26):
Okay, not to mention how muchmoney you had to pay a snakehead
to get here in the first place.
A snakehead.
I don't know if many of youheard that term before, but
these are essentially humansmugglers.
Okay, specifically humantrafficking, not drugs.
(13:47):
And this term actually comesfrom the Chinese Soto.
So for Chinese illegals, thisterm is specific to them.
Now for Mexico, for instance,it's different.
For the Hispanic community, it'sdifferent.
They call them coyotes.
It means essentially the samething.
They're the point man of a humantrafficking operation.
(14:09):
The other ones who smuggledrugs, and for instance, they're
called mules.
These different slang terms thatyou would pretty much
familiarize yourself with, it'spart of my job as well.
And so what these stakeheads do,or these coyotes do, is that
they take your money and thenthey plan out your entire
travel.
They plan out your entireitinerary.
(14:30):
Depending on how much you pay,you would obviously get
different types of services,including arrangement travels,
where you how do you get frompoint A to point B, and how you
get to the border, eventuallyhow you cross the border and
what you tell the border patrolafterwards.
And if you're lucky enough,you'll find a snakehead who's
(14:51):
well connected here, that couldpotentially arrange a job
opportunity for you.
And so how much are we talkingabout here?
People think that trafficking ahuman here or trying to smuggle
yourself in across the bordershouldn't be too expensive, but
it actually is.
Surprisingly, the running rateduring the pandemic was 300,000
(15:14):
RB, which is equivalent toroughly$42,000,$43,000 here.
Some pay less, but do know thatthat would exponentially
increase your risk of not makingit.
And what I mean by not makingit, I will just you know I'll go
into that very soon, don'tworry.
What I mean by not making it isnot, it just doesn't mean you
(15:37):
failed at crossing the border.
It means that you literallydidn't make it.
That you died.
Okay, or you didn't crosssuccessfully for whatever
reason.
But let's say you do make it.
You're one of the many that domake it.
Now you're$50,000 in debt, andyou will most definitely
struggle to make ends meet here.
(15:59):
Okay, how?
The legals here are strugglingto make ends meet.
So the paradox is many argueit's inhumane.
It's cruel to separate thesefamilies, to deprive them of a
better life, to deprive them ofan opportunity for education,
(16:22):
etc., etc.
And that ultimately us Americansshould be better than that.
You know what?
I agree.
I'm not arguing against that.
But what you have to realize isthat that's not the government's
job.
Okay, the government's job is tomake sure that not everyone we
(16:44):
pity end up here.
It's for national security andnot feelings.
Their job is not to feel bad forthe single mother who tried to
cross the border with her kidsin the back of a trunk.
Do I feel bad at times?
Of course I do.
Truth be told, I I feel bad allthe time.
(17:08):
Whether their detainees aresick, uh, whether they're
pleading their case, beinginterrogated.
You know, I share that feeling,and I sometimes I would put
myself in their shoes.
Both their shoes.
The deportation officer tryingto do his job, as well as the
illegal trying to plead hiscase.
And I feel both sides.
(17:30):
But regardless, that should notaffect the way I do my job.
Okay, it should not be an excusefor me not to do my job or act
on impulse.
Right?
Because the more calm you are,the more things you're able to
see and hear.
And you soon realize that, waita minute, this is not what I was
(17:53):
told or what I imagined.
And I definitely can't speak forthe Chinese community, and not
even a part of them.
Because I don't know that manyChinese people here.
But what I do know is thatbecause of how most of us,
specifically the Chinese, camehere, right, we tend to have a
(18:17):
more negative feeling towardsillegal immigration.
Tend to lean moreconservatively, if you know what
I mean.
Okay, here's why.
And this pertains only to theChinese.
I'm sure you've all heard of theChinese Exclusion Act.
So this was the first piece oflegislature targeting Chinese
immigrants specifically.
They're taking our jobs, they'renot welcomed here.
(18:40):
And of course, as you all know,it was abolished.
But even after that, they madeit extremely difficult for
Chinese nationals to come here.
And how hard was it actually forinstance for a Chinese person to
come here if you were notrelated to anybody who's a
citizen?
Let me tell you, as an example,my father had to be accepted by
(19:04):
an Ivy League, apply for studentvisa, graduate, get a job to be
able to get a working visa.
And then 15 years later, ourfamily applied for citizenship.
That's how a majority of legalimmigrants had to do it.
Work visa, student visa, and tryto establish yourself
(19:24):
professionally here.
So meaning that they had tocontribute first before they
could take.
Or at least do at the same time.
So when these group of, let'ssay, Chinese elites, right, when
they see illegals here, youknow, in most cases, they're not
happy.
(19:45):
They're not happy that theirhard-earned money, their taxes,
their insurance, is going tofeed house and educate those
that didn't come here the properway.
You get what I mean?
And how are we to judge whetheror not that's fair?
Do you think it's fair?
I don't think it's fair.
But people are afraid to admitit.
(20:07):
They're afraid what others mightthink of them.
And so you see, the problem isnot ICE.
It's our split ideology, oftenmanipulated by media.
So before we drift too offtopic, I want to share something
interesting with you.
(20:28):
And that's how illegal Chinesealiens, immigrants get here.
Specifically the Chinese.
What route they take.
Now there's a more dignified wayto do it, and there's a less
dignified way to do it.
The better way to do it would beon a tourist visa.
(20:48):
Right?
Overstay and claim asylum ormarry a citizen.
That's all you have to do.
Go to the embassy, apply for atourist visa, look presentable,
have enough savings, which ispretty minimal, by the way.
Okay, around$7,000 in deposit totravel to America on a tourist
(21:10):
visa.
That's it.
It's not that hard.
And then the less dignified wayto get here, I'm not making this
up.
You can see this all overYouTube.
They crossed the border fromSouth America.
This was popularized, I thinkmaybe like 2018, 2019, a little
bit before the pandemic, and itexploded during the pandemic.
(21:34):
And on these videos, you wouldsee how they cross the border
from South America or how theyfloat across the Pacific to
Saipan and Guang.
And how do I learn this?
Again, our social media andChinese social media.
It's all over the place.
There's a step-by-step guide onhow to come here and what to do
(21:56):
after you get here, how to claimasylum, what to say, even to the
judge.
There's even shady websites fullof job postings specifically
targeted towards illegalimmigration.
It's ridiculous.
You could see jobs fromdishwasher to masseuse, you
(22:17):
know, to hairdresser toconstruction worker.
There's more jobs there on thosewebsites than I see on Indeed or
LinkedIn.
And so let's focus on thatpopular route.
The one that was popularizedjust recently.
It's also the less dignifiedalternative, and that's trekking
(22:39):
through South America.
How do they do it?
They would fly to a thirdcountry, somewhere, anywhere,
with a tourist visa, and somehowend up in Ecuador.
Because in Ecuador, Chinesecitizens did not need a visa.
And from there, you meet yoursnakehead, you're picked up, and
(23:03):
you start your journey toAmerica.
If you pay the snakehead well,you get a tour guide, maybe a
ride, a car, to bring you toplaces.
And some are even flown toMexico.
They didn't have to walk acrossthe rainforest.
And if you didn't pay enough,then most likely you'd be on
(23:26):
your own.
That hike from Ecuador just toMexico border can take weeks or
even months, depending onfactors like weather, border
patrol, and even cartels.
So from Ecuador, you go toColombia, just north.
(23:48):
From there, you cross the DarrenGap.
That is a notorious route, whichis essentially a damp jungle.
It's a rainforest that you needto cross in order to get into
Panama.
And it doesn't end there.
From there, you cross into CostaRica, Nicaragua, Guatemala,
(24:09):
Honduras, and if you're lucky,finally end up safe and sound in
Mexico.
Can you just imagine for a secthat you cannot speak the
language and you end up inEcuador and you have to cross
like seven countries on footwith a tour guide?
With your family?
(24:30):
Right?
That must be horrible.
So do I feel for them?
Why wouldn't I?
Why wouldn't anybody?
In Chinese, we call this methodZhou Xian.
And it translates literally intowalking the line.
It's used to describe this newmethod of landing in Ecuador and
(24:51):
hiking your way to America.
If you type these words, walkingthe line, in YouTube, you'll get
a great visual.
And sadly to say, during thesecrossings, it's very dangerous.
And not everybody makes it.
There's threats of being killed,being kidnapped, starving to
(25:15):
death, uh, getting sick, orsimply not having enough money
to proceed any further becauseyou couldn't afford food.
Can you imagine how frighteningit must be for someone who does
not speak the language, whonever been to these parts of the
country before, to have to trucktheir way across seven, eight
(25:35):
countries to get here?
Right, so do I feel bad forthem?
Of course I do.
Wouldn't you?
Right, you cannot pay me enoughto even attempt that.
But what you also have tounderstand is, and also very
noteworthy, is the fact that whoare these people?
(25:56):
What type of people would choosethis sort of method?
Why not tourist visa?
Right?
Why not fly here?
Or why not fly to Mexico?
Or why do you have to trek allthis way?
And of course I wasn't the onlycurious one.
The reporters that walk thisline with these illegals asked
(26:19):
them, why did you take thisroute?
Why did you come?
And that's when you would hearsome absurd shit.
Okay, and as a Chinese who knowsChina well, I can tell you right
now that most of their claims isridiculous or full of shit.
(26:40):
You know, aside from being poor,not being able to afford the
deposit or provide for theirfamily as a reason for coming
here.
Besides that, many mention beingpersecuted.
Okay, there's ones that claim tobe persecuted for religious
reasons.
(27:01):
Why?
Because we have a huge loopholein our country's law.
And that's our very firstamendment granting the freedom
of religion.
So technically it's not theirfault, it's ours.
They know how to navigate oursystem and to use it.
And trust me, the snakeheadsknow full well how to exploit
(27:23):
the system and use it to claimasylum.
Once they cross the bordersuccessfully.
That's how the system works.
In those interviews, like youwould see people claiming that
they're Christians and that theywere beaten by the police or
persecuted by the localgovernment.
And I'm gonna tell you straightup, responsibly, that that's
(27:47):
full of shit.
China has more problems to worryabout than whether or not an
outcast from his own societybelieves in Jesus our Savior.
They only care aboutChristianity, for instance, not
becoming a cult.
They don't care whether or notyou go to church on Sundays.
(28:10):
They don't.
So this claim is just ridiculousin my mind.
It might make sense to you, butnot to me.
And you know how I know this?
Because I almost got myself intosimilar shit.
Almost, I think, 15 years ago, Igot into some little bit of
(28:31):
trouble for doing the samething, except it was more
extreme.
Me and my wife decided it wouldbe a good idea to visit the
Dalai Lama in India.
Of course, it didn't matter tome because I'm a US citizen.
By the time she was a Chinesecitizen, so she had to get a
visa.
And obviously, the Chinesegovernment does not like their
(28:53):
citizens visiting the DalaiLama.
We could get to that in some ina different topic.
And so what happened was my wifegot a call from the police.
They asked her some questions.
Like, why are you going there?
What's the purpose of your trip?
And most importantly, are yougoing to see the Dalai Lama?
(29:17):
And so my wife answered, we'rejust going to visit as a
tourist.
And that was that.
I ended up meeting the DalaiLama without much trouble.
So did my wife.
We didn't get our asses kicked,we didn't get locked up, we
didn't get persecuted.
And of course, if you're fundingthe Tibetan government, the
(29:40):
ousted Tibetan government,that'd be a whole different
story.
It's just like if you were tofund a terrorist group here in
the United States.
Right now, if China doesn't careabout its rich citizens visiting
the Daiai Lama, what possiblereason would they care about
these illegals going to church?
And yes, China has manychurches.
(30:02):
Believe it or not.
You have to register under theChinese government, obviously,
but then you can have your ownchurch.
Not being able to practiceChristianity is not a reason.
And so Chin so the Chinese isonly one ethnic group.
And they stand as not a bigpercentage of the total uh
(30:25):
amount of illegals that enterthe country here.
So you can imagine all thedifferent reasons why everybody
else would come.
The pressure it puts on oureconomy, despite some of his
advantages.
Because if it would happen toyou, you might not get the same
(30:46):
pity.
And talking about persecution.
Some indeed are persecuted.
But normally it would not be foryour religious belief.
It would be because you step onsomebody's toes, you're wealthy,
famous, one or the other.
I actually have an acquaintance.
(31:07):
Not a close friend, but justlike a business acquaintance.
He was recently taken aftergoing to an asylum interview.
He's taken by ICE.
He's one of the richest men Iknow.
So for a fact, I know he can'treturn to China because he is
definitely being persecuted.
That's at least a legitimateexcuse, don't you think?
(31:28):
Oh, but it's all fun and gamesuntil you or somebody close to
you, like a family member, getstaken.
So I like to spend a little timejust talking about what to do if
that does happen.
So if somebody close to you,like I mentioned before, gets
(31:49):
apprehended or gets approachedby uh immigration or border
patrol, whatever the case mightbe, first off, do not panic.
Do not resist arrest.
That never ends well.
Even if you're a citizen, andyou get snatched by a mistake,
God forbid.
Just think of this as, I don'tknow, a job fare or something.
(32:11):
Alright, once they know that youare a citizen, they will let you
out.
I don't know what else to tellyou.
Okay, they have their orders,and they will take you
regardless, unless you're fastenough to outrun them.
Alright?
That's just a simple truth.
And two, know your rights andhow to get access to assistance.
(32:35):
Okay, whether it's for you orfor somebody else.
In other words, get animmigration-specific attorney.
ICE detention is not prison.
Okay, people are allowed tovisit.
Nearly anyone.
Legal representatives have moreflexibility.
(32:55):
But you'll have to check theavailability at each detention
center.
Everyone's different.
They can make phone calls, theycan see doctors.
So there's no need to panic.
It's not like a basement-stylekidnap where you're deprived of
basic necessities.
It's not like that.
Number three, the detentioncenter is, although it's not
(33:19):
prison, it's not comfortableeither.
Okay.
But at least you won't besurrounded by violent criminals.
And as for the officers andstaff that worked there, I can
responsibly say that I havenever experienced an officer
agent or a contractor workingunder ice that treated detainees
without dignity.
(33:40):
And some were honestlysurprisingly nice.
You know, they were makingjokes.
There was actually laughter inthe room that, you know, where
they shouldn't be.
So that was something that Iexperienced was that was
interesting, where I felt, wow,it's not, you know, it's not
what you see in the news.
Like they clamp you down, theythey beat your ass, and then
(34:02):
they interrogate you.
It's not like that.
Okay, so that brings me tonumber four.
What happens after you'redetained?
Well, you are going to enterinto immigration court.
And it's worth noting thatimmigration court is not
criminal court.
Okay, so it's still part of ourcivil law system.
(34:22):
And it's not under our judicialsystem, it is under the
Department of Justice, theExecutive Branch.
Specifically, the ExecutiveOffice for Immigration Review.
And because it's a civil case,they will not appoint you a
lawyer.
You have to find one yourself.
Okay?
And let me remind you thatself-representing or going pro
(34:43):
se in immigration court isstatistically a bad idea.
Don't get a free lawyer eitherif you can afford better one.
Because it's more than likelythat you don't know shit about
immigration law and that's howyou ended up there in the first
place.
Okay, last but not least, watchwhat you say.
(35:06):
Don't cause more trouble foryourself and for the dude across
from you.
If they say you have the rightto remain silent, take the
offer.
If they say you have the rightto not answer, then don't.
Don't make this harder than itis.
So last but not least, a bit ofadvice for those that are
(35:28):
considering joining ICE.
Uh don't join unless you areready and you're capable.
It's not for everyone, andenough people have honestly
applied.
Okay, read the job descriptioncarefully.
Not all jobs are cool thatinvolve carrying a weapon.
If you don't enjoy for the rightreasons, then don't do it.
(35:50):
A shit bag officer is the lastperson we want wearing a badge.
The hiring process is oftenmisunderstood too.
Just recently, remember, uh theychanged the age requirement for
uh deportation officers fromunder 40 to now under 60.
And like I mentioned before, ICEhas a lot of department staff,
(36:12):
okay, a lot of support stafftoo.
And the ones you see on the newson the streets are normally the
uh ERO, as I mentioned before,the enforcement removal, or the
HSI, or human uh sorry, uhHomeland Security
Investigations.
So EROs have uh what you callthe DOs or the deportation
(36:34):
officers.
And HSI, which is theinvestigative arm of ISA.
They have the criminalinvestigators and what we call
the special agents.
As of now, they might be doingthe same jobs, but essentially
it's different.
Okay, so Google it if you'reinterested.
Uh, we won't go too much indepth here.
But let's take deportationofficers, for instance, the DOs,
(36:56):
okay, which is the only positionthe ICE currently has opened for
people over 40 and under 60, asof this recording.
Okay.
And uh let me tell you, it'sit's not an easy job.
Okay, you have to go throughalmost six months of basic
training before you even swearin.
Okay, that training is calledthe ICE Academy or the Basic
(37:17):
Immigration Law EnforcementTraining Program.
It's rather physical.
The instructors uh typicallycome from Border Patrol.
They're uh pretty tough.
It's gonna feel like militaryboot camp if you've ever been
there.
So if you're out of shape, ifyou have a shady record, you
won't qualify, or you probablywon't pass.
(37:39):
That background check, ofcourse, again, it will make you
feel mighty uncomfortable.
Just be prepared to tell themeverything.
And what's what's unattractiveabout this position for me
specifically is that it's uhwell, besides kicking down doors
and stuff, it's not my thing, isthat it's also a term position,
meaning that you have to gothrough all this training, um,
(38:02):
do all the stuff, uh, but you'reonly appointed in a term
position, meaning that if thejob doesn't require you anymore,
then it won't be permanent.
So, having said that, it's notlike the South Park episode
where they're pulling justrandom dudes off the streets to
(38:24):
become officers.
Okay, it's nothing like that.
That's another uh kind ofridiculous thing we see now in
the media.
You know, and if you don'tbelieve me, write up a resume
and submit it.
Okay, see if they see if you geta call.
Right?
That's the the most direct wayto see if something is nonsense.
So I hope everybody found thisspecial interesting.
(38:45):
Um, again, this kind of came outof nowhere, right?
The reason why I want to do thisspecial is because I wanted to
give you a glimpse of what it'sreally like, the truth, and not
just blindly trust the media.
And most of the stuff I'mtelling you now, it's public
information.
Plus a little bit of my personalexperience.
(39:07):
Sort of, again, to helpeverybody navigate.
And as I navigate thisinterpreter gig, I'll definitely
update you with stories becauseICE is not the only law
enforcement agency that I workfor.
Uh, both me and some of mycolleagues, we work for
different agencies like DEA,ATF, FBI, or even the local
(39:29):
police, border patrol.
So there's a lot of things thatwe come across every day that
normal people don't get to see.
And so I thought that would beinteresting, something that
everybody, I hope you'reinterested in.
But uh thanks for tuning in.
Uh join me next time.
Peace.
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