Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting
Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Dr. Lisa Damour is here to help. The author of bestsellers Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Co-host and journalist Reena Ninan, a former White House and foreign correspondent, gets the answers parents need. In each episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena blend expert knowledge with their experience and struggles as parents themselves to tackle real-life questions sent in by listeners.
Episodes
July 23, 2024 • 29 mins
A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when te...
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July 16, 2024 • 33 mins
With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers...
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July 9, 2024 • 31 mins
When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.
Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having a...
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June 25, 2024 • 30 mins
It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks...
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June 11, 2024 • 34 mins
Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the making of Disney-Pixar's "Inside Out 2" with special guest, Dr. Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist renowned for his research on emotions. The discussion begins with Lisa explaining her role in the film, highlighting how Riley, now 13, navigates the new emotions of adolescence. Dr. Keltner shares insights on selecting the original five emotions and introduces the sequel's new characters: Anxiet...
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June 4, 2024 • 31 mins
How can families make the most of their summer? Dr. Lisa says it’s all about the S.U.N.: "S" for sleep, "U" for unplugging, and “N" for nature. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore why it's essential to find time during the summer months to rest, disconnect, and spend time outdoors. They offer practical tips for family digital detoxes. Their conversation unpacks the research on the psychological benefits of being around nature and how summer...
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May 28, 2024 • 28 mins
When should you consider limiting your child's use of TikTok? A parent seeks advice on managing a tween’s use of the popular social media platform. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the appeal of TikTok and address the concerns that many parents have. Reena asks several key questions including: What are the downsides of consuming short-form video content, much of which seems to be mindless? How and when should parents set boundaries aroun...
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May 21, 2024 • 30 mins
How do parents balance their wish to know about their kids’ lives with their teens’ right to privacy? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through the tension of respecting teens’ autonomy while staying informed as parents, particularly in the context of teenagers keeping personal journals. A letter from a thoughtful mother of four teenagers raises important questions about navigating boundaries and fostering open communication. Dr. Lisa explor...
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May 14, 2024 • 31 mins
Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the complexities of dealing with an angry and disrespectful son. In response to a letter from a concerned parent, they address how to navigate power struggles and they detail effective strategies for managing disruptive behavior. Dr. Lisa explores the underlying dynamics at play and offers insights as to why the son may be acting out. She discusses the potential pitfalls of punishment and explores alternat...
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May 7, 2024 • 32 mins
Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the challenge of making a big move with kids. A parent writes in with concerns about her kids' reactions to the news of the move and asks how to best support them through the transition. Dr. Lisa provides insights on how parents can prepare kids for moving and offers age-specific strategies for helping children cope. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the importance of validating emotions, maintaining predictabili...
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April 30, 2024 • 35 mins
Sleep is essential for mental and physical health, but most teens don’t get nearly enough of it. Special Guest Lisa L. Lewis, journalist and author of "The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive," joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to answer listener questions about teens and sleep, tech use, summer bedtimes, school start times and more. Their conversation unpacks the results of ...
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April 23, 2024 • 33 mins
How can adults steer teens away from marijuana in states where the drug is now legal? A parent writes in asking for guidance on raising teens in a community where pot use is wide-spread and normalized. To complicate matters, the parent uses recreational cannabis at home but worries, appropriately, about how early experimentation with the drug could compromise her teens’ safety and well-being. Dr. Lisa and Reena address several cruc...
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April 16, 2024 • 32 mins
How do you respond when your child is being bullied? A concerned parent writes in about her 12-year-old daughter who is being taunted by three older boys on the school bus. Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics of bullying and answers several key questions: What’s the difference between conflict and bullying? Why do kids bully? What is the impact of being bullied? How and when should adults step in? The conversation addresses the step-by-s...
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April 9, 2024 • 32 mins
A parent writes in about her 17-year-old son who is reeling from a tough breakup with his long-time girlfriend. As the teen faces the transition to college and grapples with intense sadness his parents have several questions: Should they be concerned about his reaction? How can they support him, especially when he shuts them out? And must high school sweethearts part ways before college? Dr. Lisa describes the many ways that adults...
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April 2, 2024 • 32 mins
Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent who feels uneasy about her ten-year-old’s sudden interest in expensive skin care products. The parent finds herself stuck between two bad options: buying her daughter products that are costly and unnecessary, or being at odds with her daughter because she refuses to do so. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the many forces that come together - some new, some age-old - to drive the current...
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March 26, 2024 • 30 mins
It’s not always comfortable to talk with our kids about pornography - but it’s something all parents need to do. Indeed, research shows that 12 is the average age at which kids first encounter pornography, and that by age 18, 79% of teens have been exposed to violent porn. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how it is that so many kids end up seeing pornography and the harms associated with viewing it. They also provide clear, actionable gu...
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March 19, 2024 • 33 mins
Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? In this critically important episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, a national non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of fentanyl. Ed, who t...
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March 12, 2024 • 26 mins
A concerned parent seeks Dr. Lisa's guidance on building and maintaining a connection with her teenage son. Despite efforts to spend quality time together, most family activities are met with resistance. The parent wonders if it’s normal for her 15-year-old son and, more recently, her 11-year-old daughter, to hold their parents at a distance. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the challenges of enforcing family time and suggest alternativ...
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March 5, 2024 • 31 mins
A devoted parent seeks advice on whether her 15-year-old daughter should be on birth control. Despite having open discussions about many topics, the daughter - who is in a long-term and intense heterosexual relationship - refuses to discuss contraception. Dr. Lisa weighs in on how to talk with teens about readiness for physical intimacy, and how to get teens to be open to awkward, (but necessary) conversations about their developin...
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February 27, 2024 • 27 mins
When should parents be concerned about a teen who resists making social plans and chooses to hang out at home instead? A parent writes asking if she should be worried about her introverted son. He excels academically, has a job, and exercises regularly, But he chooses to spend weekends at home playing on his phone or working on his computer. While he has friends, he rarely initiates plans with them and makes up excuses for not join...
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