April 30, 2025 • 21 mins
In this episode, Kellee White dives deep into the significance of dreams and shares a personal story about a profound visit from her grandfather, who passed away nearly 50 years ago.
Join us as we explore the complexities of grief, including the emotional and physical manifestations it can bring. Kellee discusses the five stages of grief as outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and introduces the concept of the sixth stage of grief, as presented by David Kessler.
Discover practical tools for managing grief, including the importance of scheduling time to grieve, journaling, and seeking support. Kellee emphasizes that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and encourages listeners to honor their emotions and the memory of their loved ones.
Whether you're navigating your own grief or supporting someone else, this episode is filled with wisdom and compassion. Don't forget to subscribe for more spiritual insights and personal growth discussions!
Join us as we explore the complexities of grief, including the emotional and physical manifestations it can bring. Kellee discusses the five stages of grief as outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and introduces the concept of the sixth stage of grief, as presented by David Kessler.
Discover practical tools for managing grief, including the importance of scheduling time to grieve, journaling, and seeking support. Kellee emphasizes that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and encourages listeners to honor their emotions and the memory of their loved ones.
Whether you're navigating your own grief or supporting someone else, this episode is filled with wisdom and compassion. Don't forget to subscribe for more spiritual insights and personal growth discussions!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Welcome to Ask Me Anything. A beacon of spiritual exploration,
hosted by celebrated mediums Kelly White. From the mysteries of
astrological aspects to the depths of personal growth, no topic
is off limits. Your questions light the path as we
navigate the intricacies of our spiritual existence together. So are
you ready to delve deeper?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hi, everybody welcome to ask me Anything. I'm Kelly White.
I'm a spiritual medium and psychotherapist, and I'm an author.
So I'm so glad to welcome everybody today because we
have a lot to talk about. Because i know it's
been a boring week, right, been such a week. Please
everybody pay attention to your dreams. They're going to be
(00:48):
so significant, and there's so much valuable information that we
can ascertain from your dreams. And right now, these are
some big dreams that people are having. I've had some
unbelievable dreams. I had this strangest visit yesterday from my
grandfather who died probably forty years ago at least we
(01:10):
had a little more than that, almost fifty years and
he died fifty years ago just about and he came
to me, and he said this is He said Grandpa Catsmen, now,
which is odd because we just called him by his name,
Grandpa Norman, which was his name, but he said, this
is Grandpa Catsman. I thought that's so interesting, and I
(01:32):
have to kind of determine why he announced his presence
that way as opposed I just thought it. I have
to think about that one. It had deep meaning to it.
So I'll probably be working with my dad's ancestors probably,
that's probably what it means. So let's talk about this
energy and what's going on. And before I even get
(01:55):
into that, I really want to thank Lisa Renee pits
Lisa Renee Pitts. Is this one of the stars of
Beautiful Noise. And I was really fortunate I got to
go with my family this and we went to go
see Beautiful Noise. And if you haven't seen it, it's
(02:16):
the Neil Diamond play about his life and Neil is
a huge proponent of therapy, and so the story is
told through Neil and his therapist on stage, and the
story is how his songs, you know, were inspired by
(02:36):
what was going on in his life and the depth
of his life and so in real life, the woman
that plays his therapist in real life was my mother.
And so I've talked about that a lot. It's in
my book and I can talk about it because Neil
wrote about it and he credits her for the play
and the inspiration of the play. So I got to
(03:01):
go this week and I saw it in New York
on Broadway, and then we got to see it here
in Madison, Wisconsin, and Lisa Renee Pitts plays my mother,
and so I got to sit there and have the
experience again with my mother and it was just magnificent
and really deeply emotional, all the things that you can imagine,
(03:23):
and we got to go backstage afterwards. It was really
a funny, kind of a crazy story because this would
never never fly in LA But I walked up. I
had a note with my seat number and everything in it,
and so I walked up to the first person I
saw that was working there as older man, and I said,
I know this is a far fetched story, but can
(03:46):
you give this to Lisa Rene Pitts. She's playing my
mother in this role that I know it's far fetched,
and he looked at me. Only in Wisconsin, He's like, sure,
I could do that for you. What in la that
would like you're thrown out of the theater. I'll don't
even give it a try, but anyway, and then from
there we went to our seats and it was really lovely.
(04:09):
And then they came out and they said that they
were so excited that we were there in the audience
and that we got to go backstage. And what was
really fun too to go backstage is the gentleman that
plays my husband Don in this for the Sacks and
leader of the Sacks was there, of course, and he
came out he was so excited to meet Don, and
so it was really it was just a wonderful experience
(04:32):
all the way around in a time period that's rocky
at best. So it you know, life is so interesting.
You get some amazing moments and then you get some
challenging moments, and this is the story of life actually
on earth. So for me it was a big deal
and I was so just pleased. And Lisa is just
(04:52):
a great actress. If you get a chance to see
beautiful noise, just do it. And the funny thing is
the chairs they use on that stage. They use these
two giant chairs and Neil sits in one chair. The
therapist sits in the other chair. And in real life,
I have those chairs, but they don't look like that
they're in real life. They're actually aims chairs, and I
(05:13):
have those exact I have the chairs and one of
them I'm staring right now. One of them's in my
office here and the other one will be in our
living room. But anyway, I just had to say that
because I thought that was a fun story. And so
is mercury. So it could be it could be that,
it could be loss of a job. Frankly, it could
(05:34):
be the political climate. Woman, it could be so many
things about grief right now. It's just so many and
so how grief manifests is. We can get very emotional,
We can get sad, anger, guilt, Guilt comes in. It's
(05:56):
a big one here. Confusion, a lot of so much
with that. With confusion, with that, anxiety, disbelief, that's a
big one. You can also with grief. It can manifest
as physically. You get have fatigue. Sometimes you people will
have phantom pain. Even I've seen that changes and appetite.
(06:21):
I always want to check with somebody if they if
they are how are they sleeping? Are they sleeping? Now?
Another thing is behavioral changes with there's grief, So that
means that maybe there's been a withdrawal from social activities,
which would be normal if you ask me. And difficulty concentrating,
(06:44):
and I will share when my mother died, it was
really really challenging on every level for me, which I'll
talk about, and one of them was concentration. That was
it was a big one because I would just kind
of freeze up in moments like I just it was
really hard for me. So if you don't know about
(07:06):
the stages of grief, let me mention them, because I
think anybody who has gone through grief needs and is
going through grief. And by the way we come to Earth,
we are going to experience grief. We just are and Earth.
School of Earth is often a school of pain, and
(07:27):
it's often a school of deep challenges. It's a hard school,
and so grief is one of the experiences. And I
know I've heard it said many times that if you
grief is because you loved and I love that. I
love that. I agree with that, But grief is many things.
(07:49):
And Elizabeth Koobler Ross wrote a book in nineteen sixty
nine and if you don't have it or if you
know somebody that needs it. It's a great book. It's
a seminal book, and it's called On Death and Dyne
and On Death and Dyne. It was one of the
first books I ever if probably it was the first
book I ever read on grief years and years ago.
(08:10):
And in therapy when I was in grad school, we
had to remember the five stages of grief that she
writes about, and we would use the acronym dabda. Of course,
I was an add person. I could never remember this one,
dab da. I was like, what is that? What am
I trying to remember? Okay, So when you in Elizabeth
(08:31):
Kobler Ross's who she identified these stages of grief. The
first one would be denial. So at any time during
any of these of grief, at any time, it doesn't
start with denial. It might start with denial. It can
be any of these stages can hit you at any time.
(08:52):
So denial that often involves struggling to accept the reality
that there was a loss, and it may be characterized
by a disbelieve or a feeling that something is wrong
but you can't quite get it. Another one is anger.
So for me, I was really surprised. I never would
have imagined that was the first one I went to.
(09:15):
I went straight to anger, and I think I stayed
in anger for a it could have been a full year,
seriously anger. As the reality of the loss or the
diagnosis set sin, individuals may experience anger directed at themselves. No,
wasn't that me. I directed it at others. I did not,
(09:37):
just I did not. Some people put their anger towards
a higher power or God or the universe. I knew
that wasn't the I was just angry. I wanted my mom,
and I was just angry. I was just furious. So
I really get that stage. Now. Another stage is bargaining.
So in this stage of bargaining, individuals may try to,
(09:59):
you know, negotiate with fate or negotiate with the higher power,
making promises or deals in attempt to change the outcome,
possibly or lessing the pain. I have seen people go
into bargaining. Another stage is depression, and that's that stage
(10:23):
involves a sense of sadness and loss and despair as
the reality of the situation sinks in. Now, what I've
often said is the first year, you're almost in a shock,
kind of denial, kind of anger. Kind of all of these,
the second year seems to me the hardest because the
(10:45):
second year is when that reality really sets in. And
so the fifth stage of Elizabeth Koopler Ross is acceptance.
And while not necessarily a happy stage, it's not like, oh,
I've accepted that somewhere that way. It's more of a
coming to terms and understanding and it means to find
(11:06):
a way forward. So those were her five stages. Now,
if we talk about David Kessler and his work, his
work is extraordinary with grief. If he has grief dot com,
so if you need to look at grief dot com.
David Kessler worked with Elizabeth Koubler Ross and they wrote
(11:30):
a book together called and it's a great book called
on Grief and Grieving. On Grief and Grieving, it's finding
meaning of grief through the five stages of loss, so
finding meaning, and it is invaluable. It is a terrific book.
And then after then she passed away in two thousand
(11:52):
and four, Elizabeth Kogler Ross, but David Kessler continued her
work and his work and then he has many great books.
But one of my favorite books for David is called
Finding Meaning. The sixth stage of grief, and I think
that's a really important stage to get to, and it's
a process. Nothing can prepare you for grief nothing. I
(12:18):
don't care that I knew my mom was going to
die at a certain time I did. It wouldn't matter.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I had suffered
ahead of time, thinking about, you know, for a long
period of time, as I took care of her, and
it didn't matter that moment that they're gone. It's for me.
(12:38):
And I said this on the show with James on Monday.
It feels like, and I believe this to be true,
the soul, their soul is pulled out from the energetic
connection is pulled out. Now, I'm a medium, I understand
they are always around us, but I don't care how
many mediums are out there that are listening to this.
(13:00):
When somebody you love passes, it's a difference, a game
is it's a game changer. It changes everything. When I worked,
we had carry Gnia on our show on Monday talking
about ancestral healing, and she said something that was very poignant.
She said that she really is she'd been doing working
with grief like me forever for years twenty years, I
(13:20):
think she said, until her dad died and that through
her for I'm telling you, at least two years threw
her and that was when she really understood it. Because
when you have that, you understand it for life. You
understand it for life. That just is it. So the
(13:41):
Sixth Stage of Grief with David Kesser, and he also
has a work book with that, So if you know
somebody or if you are meeting this, it might be
a really great resource for you to look at. And
my personal spiritual perspective on grief is that grief gives
us a perspective, It gives us a new lens. It
brings us wisdom and compassion for ourself for others, and
(14:05):
it's a necessary road for soul growth. Remember, we signed
up to be here. We signed up to be here
at this time. We signed up to be here at
this time so we would learn the deep lessons, the
big lessons, which are kindness, compassion, understanding, empathy. These are
(14:26):
the big forgiveness. We're going to be talking a lot
with Peter Redgrave on Red Grove on Monday. We're going
to be talking a lot about forgiveness as he is dying.
We're going to be talking about that. So some of
the tools that you can do for managing grief would
be and this was one that my mom always always
(14:48):
talked about, and it was scheduling to time every day
to grieve. So if you are in deep grief, maybe
scheduling a time to grieve. So you said, Kelly, whoever
Kelly at ten in the morning, I'm gonna I'm gonna
grieve from ten to ten to twenty or ten to eleven.
There's something about scheduling grief that actually helps you know
(15:13):
if that's one thing to do, but also explore items
like or strategies such as journaling, maybe journaling how you feel,
how you feel, mindfulness, practice I'm in the body now,
I'm breathing, practice being mindful, and also practice or set
(15:35):
meaningful rituals for to honor your loss and to support
your healing journey. You know, I mean that would be
a really good thing to do. And healing and moving
forward acknowledges it means you first, You involves acknowledging your
own emotions. So how do I feel right now? Another
(15:58):
thing is maybe seeks support. Now, when my mother died,
I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted to
be alone and by myself for weeks, actually just wanted
to be alone. It was so painful that I couldn't
talk to anybody, and I didn't want to talk to anybody.
It was nobody that could bring me comfort. Nobody, I
mean not, it was It's such a personal journey in
(16:23):
grief when you've had great loss. Now that was just me,
but others may need people around. It's such a subjective thing.
It's such a you know, it's such a personal thing.
But there's no wrong answer here, no wrong answer. It's
this is however you feel, is how you feel. Okay,
(16:45):
So acknowledge your emotions. Don't suppress your feelings. I did
not suppress my anger, to the chagrin of many. Be
patient with yourself. I probably shouldn't have been driving during
those times, because there's no right way to grieve, and
(17:06):
there's no wrong way to grieve. It's just there's no
right or wrong here. But allow yourself permission to feel
and to grieve without any judgment or any pressure. If
anybody says move on, really I have big words for those,
but I'm not going to say. Whenever anybody says that,
I just nothing sets me off faster reach out. If
(17:29):
you want, reach out to other people to support you,
maybe some a good friend or a family or a
support group. Consider professional help. Now I do grief work.
I do grief counseling. Can always see me. I have
sessions available now for April, and I do. I do
work with grief as a I'm also a licensed psychotherapist,
(17:52):
so I do work with grief a lot, and I've
had I work a lot with grief. So that's that
is something to do. And so you know, maybe practice
prioritizing your physical health if you can by doing simple
things like sleeping, Are you eating, you know those kind
of things. Are you're drinking water? And sometimes I mean again,
(18:15):
when this happened to me, the last thing I was
interested in was a hobby. Some people will say, we'll
get a hobby, and I'm like, I gots your hobby. Yeah,
is it not going to happen? And again I allowed
myself until it just ran out of my system, and
ultimately it will run out of your system. It ran
out of mind anyway. So again, honor your loved one,
(18:40):
explore your values, find purpose and meaning. And for me,
for me, the purpose and meaning was to do the
work that I'm doing now and that that was a
really really important thing, and just be patient with yourself
and moving forward. And this is a big thing here.
Moving forward does not mean that you're forgetting loved one
if you move forward, it just doesn't. It just doesn't.
(19:03):
It's about finding a way to live with your grief
and honor the memory of your loved one while embracing
the future. And you may not know when it happens,
when the grief happens, you don't know when it's going
to happen, and you just don't know. So you have
to really honor yourself on the journey that you're on here. Okay.
So I hope that helps a lot of people here.
(19:26):
And people always ask me, you know, like when is
a good time to see somebody like me? It all
depends on the person. I mean, I have said anywhere
from after somebody passes anywhere from a couple of weeks
to a month to it all depends. It all depends
on you. So when I lost my mom, and I
use that as a big example here, and bless her heart,
(19:50):
Navis Betilla, you know, my mentor, and how I just
love so much she was like Kelly, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna have a session with you, and she insisted, and
I probably was not in a space for that. This
is Mavis, and I was not in the space for that.
Yet we did it. We did it more than one
and of course James and so I had a lot
of great help around, and I was trying to hold
(20:10):
up the rest of the world that my mother had supported,
because my mother did want to believe, had any desire
to believe that she's going to pass.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
So that was a tough one and everything. It was
all not easy. Grief is not easy. It's just not easy.
So take your time with all of it, and take
good care of yourself. These are powerful times and powerful energies.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Thanks bye, my friends, Thank you for joining us on
Ask Me Anything. We hope our discussions with Kelly White
have enriched your spiritual understanding and personal growth, from recognizing
spiritual elements and children to understanding the subtle energies of crystals.
Each episode is a treasure trope of wisdom. Missed a
live session on Facebook or YouTube, don't worry. You can
always find the latest episodes on your favorite podcast app.
(20:53):
Remember your queries form the heart of our show, so
keep those questions coming for the next episode. Before we close,
make sure you subscribe to join us on this enlightening journey.
Until next time, continue to question, explore, and grow. The
universe is full of answers awaiting your curiosity.
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Welcome to Ask Me Anything. A beacon of spiritual exploration,
hosted by celebrated mediums Kelly White. From the mysteries of
astrological aspects to the depths of personal growth, no topic
is off limits. Your questions light the path as we
navigate the intricacies of our spiritual existence together. So are
you ready to delve deeper?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Hi, everybody welcome to ask me Anything. I'm Kelly White.
I'm a spiritual medium and psychotherapist, and I'm an author.
So I'm so glad to welcome everybody today because we
have a lot to talk about. Because i know it's
been a boring week, right, been such a week. Please
everybody pay attention to your dreams. They're going to be
(00:48):
so significant, and there's so much valuable information that we
can ascertain from your dreams. And right now, these are
some big dreams that people are having. I've had some
unbelievable dreams. I had this strangest visit yesterday from my
grandfather who died probably forty years ago at least we
(01:10):
had a little more than that, almost fifty years and
he died fifty years ago just about and he came
to me, and he said this is He said Grandpa Catsmen, now,
which is odd because we just called him by his name,
Grandpa Norman, which was his name, but he said, this
is Grandpa Catsman. I thought that's so interesting, and I
(01:32):
have to kind of determine why he announced his presence
that way as opposed I just thought it. I have
to think about that one. It had deep meaning to it.
So I'll probably be working with my dad's ancestors probably,
that's probably what it means. So let's talk about this
energy and what's going on. And before I even get
(01:55):
into that, I really want to thank Lisa Renee pits
Lisa Renee Pitts. Is this one of the stars of
Beautiful Noise. And I was really fortunate I got to
go with my family this and we went to go
see Beautiful Noise. And if you haven't seen it, it's
(02:16):
the Neil Diamond play about his life and Neil is
a huge proponent of therapy, and so the story is
told through Neil and his therapist on stage, and the
story is how his songs, you know, were inspired by
(02:36):
what was going on in his life and the depth
of his life and so in real life, the woman
that plays his therapist in real life was my mother.
And so I've talked about that a lot. It's in
my book and I can talk about it because Neil
wrote about it and he credits her for the play
and the inspiration of the play. So I got to
(03:01):
go this week and I saw it in New York
on Broadway, and then we got to see it here
in Madison, Wisconsin, and Lisa Renee Pitts plays my mother,
and so I got to sit there and have the
experience again with my mother and it was just magnificent
and really deeply emotional, all the things that you can imagine,
(03:23):
and we got to go backstage afterwards. It was really
a funny, kind of a crazy story because this would
never never fly in LA But I walked up. I
had a note with my seat number and everything in it,
and so I walked up to the first person I
saw that was working there as older man, and I said,
I know this is a far fetched story, but can
(03:46):
you give this to Lisa Rene Pitts. She's playing my
mother in this role that I know it's far fetched,
and he looked at me. Only in Wisconsin, He's like, sure,
I could do that for you. What in la that
would like you're thrown out of the theater. I'll don't
even give it a try, but anyway, and then from
there we went to our seats and it was really lovely.
(04:09):
And then they came out and they said that they
were so excited that we were there in the audience
and that we got to go backstage. And what was
really fun too to go backstage is the gentleman that
plays my husband Don in this for the Sacks and
leader of the Sacks was there, of course, and he
came out he was so excited to meet Don, and
so it was really it was just a wonderful experience
(04:32):
all the way around in a time period that's rocky
at best. So it you know, life is so interesting.
You get some amazing moments and then you get some
challenging moments, and this is the story of life actually
on earth. So for me it was a big deal
and I was so just pleased. And Lisa is just
(04:52):
a great actress. If you get a chance to see
beautiful noise, just do it. And the funny thing is
the chairs they use on that stage. They use these
two giant chairs and Neil sits in one chair. The
therapist sits in the other chair. And in real life,
I have those chairs, but they don't look like that
they're in real life. They're actually aims chairs, and I
(05:13):
have those exact I have the chairs and one of
them I'm staring right now. One of them's in my
office here and the other one will be in our
living room. But anyway, I just had to say that
because I thought that was a fun story. And so
is mercury. So it could be it could be that,
it could be loss of a job. Frankly, it could
(05:34):
be the political climate. Woman, it could be so many
things about grief right now. It's just so many and
so how grief manifests is. We can get very emotional,
We can get sad, anger, guilt, Guilt comes in. It's
(05:56):
a big one here. Confusion, a lot of so much
with that. With confusion, with that, anxiety, disbelief, that's a
big one. You can also with grief. It can manifest
as physically. You get have fatigue. Sometimes you people will
have phantom pain. Even I've seen that changes and appetite.
(06:21):
I always want to check with somebody if they if
they are how are they sleeping? Are they sleeping? Now?
Another thing is behavioral changes with there's grief, So that
means that maybe there's been a withdrawal from social activities,
which would be normal if you ask me. And difficulty concentrating,
(06:44):
and I will share when my mother died, it was
really really challenging on every level for me, which I'll
talk about, and one of them was concentration. That was
it was a big one because I would just kind
of freeze up in moments like I just it was
really hard for me. So if you don't know about
(07:06):
the stages of grief, let me mention them, because I
think anybody who has gone through grief needs and is
going through grief. And by the way we come to Earth,
we are going to experience grief. We just are and Earth.
School of Earth is often a school of pain, and
(07:27):
it's often a school of deep challenges. It's a hard school,
and so grief is one of the experiences. And I
know I've heard it said many times that if you
grief is because you loved and I love that. I
love that. I agree with that, But grief is many things.
(07:49):
And Elizabeth Koobler Ross wrote a book in nineteen sixty
nine and if you don't have it or if you
know somebody that needs it. It's a great book. It's
a seminal book, and it's called On Death and Dyne
and On Death and Dyne. It was one of the
first books I ever if probably it was the first
book I ever read on grief years and years ago.
(08:10):
And in therapy when I was in grad school, we
had to remember the five stages of grief that she
writes about, and we would use the acronym dabda. Of course,
I was an add person. I could never remember this one,
dab da. I was like, what is that? What am
I trying to remember? Okay, So when you in Elizabeth
(08:31):
Kobler Ross's who she identified these stages of grief. The
first one would be denial. So at any time during
any of these of grief, at any time, it doesn't
start with denial. It might start with denial. It can
be any of these stages can hit you at any time.
(08:52):
So denial that often involves struggling to accept the reality
that there was a loss, and it may be characterized
by a disbelieve or a feeling that something is wrong
but you can't quite get it. Another one is anger.
So for me, I was really surprised. I never would
have imagined that was the first one I went to.
(09:15):
I went straight to anger, and I think I stayed
in anger for a it could have been a full year,
seriously anger. As the reality of the loss or the
diagnosis set sin, individuals may experience anger directed at themselves. No,
wasn't that me. I directed it at others. I did not,
(09:37):
just I did not. Some people put their anger towards
a higher power or God or the universe. I knew
that wasn't the I was just angry. I wanted my mom,
and I was just angry. I was just furious. So
I really get that stage. Now. Another stage is bargaining.
So in this stage of bargaining, individuals may try to,
(09:59):
you know, negotiate with fate or negotiate with the higher power,
making promises or deals in attempt to change the outcome,
possibly or lessing the pain. I have seen people go
into bargaining. Another stage is depression, and that's that stage
(10:23):
involves a sense of sadness and loss and despair as
the reality of the situation sinks in. Now, what I've
often said is the first year, you're almost in a shock,
kind of denial, kind of anger. Kind of all of these,
the second year seems to me the hardest because the
(10:45):
second year is when that reality really sets in. And
so the fifth stage of Elizabeth Koopler Ross is acceptance.
And while not necessarily a happy stage, it's not like, oh,
I've accepted that somewhere that way. It's more of a
coming to terms and understanding and it means to find
(11:06):
a way forward. So those were her five stages. Now,
if we talk about David Kessler and his work, his
work is extraordinary with grief. If he has grief dot com,
so if you need to look at grief dot com.
David Kessler worked with Elizabeth Koubler Ross and they wrote
(11:30):
a book together called and it's a great book called
on Grief and Grieving. On Grief and Grieving, it's finding
meaning of grief through the five stages of loss, so
finding meaning, and it is invaluable. It is a terrific book.
And then after then she passed away in two thousand
(11:52):
and four, Elizabeth Kogler Ross, but David Kessler continued her
work and his work and then he has many great books.
But one of my favorite books for David is called
Finding Meaning. The sixth stage of grief, and I think
that's a really important stage to get to, and it's
a process. Nothing can prepare you for grief nothing. I
(12:18):
don't care that I knew my mom was going to
die at a certain time I did. It wouldn't matter.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I had suffered
ahead of time, thinking about, you know, for a long
period of time, as I took care of her, and
it didn't matter that moment that they're gone. It's for me.
(12:38):
And I said this on the show with James on Monday.
It feels like, and I believe this to be true,
the soul, their soul is pulled out from the energetic
connection is pulled out. Now, I'm a medium, I understand
they are always around us, but I don't care how
many mediums are out there that are listening to this.
(13:00):
When somebody you love passes, it's a difference, a game
is it's a game changer. It changes everything. When I worked,
we had carry Gnia on our show on Monday talking
about ancestral healing, and she said something that was very poignant.
She said that she really is she'd been doing working
with grief like me forever for years twenty years, I
(13:20):
think she said, until her dad died and that through
her for I'm telling you, at least two years threw
her and that was when she really understood it. Because
when you have that, you understand it for life. You
understand it for life. That just is it. So the
(13:41):
Sixth Stage of Grief with David Kesser, and he also
has a work book with that, So if you know
somebody or if you are meeting this, it might be
a really great resource for you to look at. And
my personal spiritual perspective on grief is that grief gives
us a perspective, It gives us a new lens. It
brings us wisdom and compassion for ourself for others, and
(14:05):
it's a necessary road for soul growth. Remember, we signed
up to be here. We signed up to be here
at this time. We signed up to be here at
this time so we would learn the deep lessons, the
big lessons, which are kindness, compassion, understanding, empathy. These are
(14:26):
the big forgiveness. We're going to be talking a lot
with Peter Redgrave on Red Grove on Monday. We're going
to be talking a lot about forgiveness as he is dying.
We're going to be talking about that. So some of
the tools that you can do for managing grief would
be and this was one that my mom always always
(14:48):
talked about, and it was scheduling to time every day
to grieve. So if you are in deep grief, maybe
scheduling a time to grieve. So you said, Kelly, whoever
Kelly at ten in the morning, I'm gonna I'm gonna
grieve from ten to ten to twenty or ten to eleven.
There's something about scheduling grief that actually helps you know
(15:13):
if that's one thing to do, but also explore items
like or strategies such as journaling, maybe journaling how you feel,
how you feel, mindfulness, practice I'm in the body now,
I'm breathing, practice being mindful, and also practice or set
(15:35):
meaningful rituals for to honor your loss and to support
your healing journey. You know, I mean that would be
a really good thing to do. And healing and moving
forward acknowledges it means you first, You involves acknowledging your
own emotions. So how do I feel right now? Another
(15:58):
thing is maybe seeks support. Now, when my mother died,
I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted to
be alone and by myself for weeks, actually just wanted
to be alone. It was so painful that I couldn't
talk to anybody, and I didn't want to talk to anybody.
It was nobody that could bring me comfort. Nobody, I
mean not, it was It's such a personal journey in
(16:23):
grief when you've had great loss. Now that was just me,
but others may need people around. It's such a subjective thing.
It's such a you know, it's such a personal thing.
But there's no wrong answer here, no wrong answer. It's
this is however you feel, is how you feel. Okay,
(16:45):
So acknowledge your emotions. Don't suppress your feelings. I did
not suppress my anger, to the chagrin of many. Be
patient with yourself. I probably shouldn't have been driving during
those times, because there's no right way to grieve, and
(17:06):
there's no wrong way to grieve. It's just there's no
right or wrong here. But allow yourself permission to feel
and to grieve without any judgment or any pressure. If
anybody says move on, really I have big words for those,
but I'm not going to say. Whenever anybody says that,
I just nothing sets me off faster reach out. If
(17:29):
you want, reach out to other people to support you,
maybe some a good friend or a family or a
support group. Consider professional help. Now I do grief work.
I do grief counseling. Can always see me. I have
sessions available now for April, and I do. I do
work with grief as a I'm also a licensed psychotherapist,
(17:52):
so I do work with grief a lot, and I've
had I work a lot with grief. So that's that
is something to do. And so you know, maybe practice
prioritizing your physical health if you can by doing simple
things like sleeping, Are you eating, you know those kind
of things. Are you're drinking water? And sometimes I mean again,
(18:15):
when this happened to me, the last thing I was
interested in was a hobby. Some people will say, we'll
get a hobby, and I'm like, I gots your hobby. Yeah,
is it not going to happen? And again I allowed
myself until it just ran out of my system, and
ultimately it will run out of your system. It ran
out of mind anyway. So again, honor your loved one,
(18:40):
explore your values, find purpose and meaning. And for me,
for me, the purpose and meaning was to do the
work that I'm doing now and that that was a
really really important thing, and just be patient with yourself
and moving forward. And this is a big thing here.
Moving forward does not mean that you're forgetting loved one
if you move forward, it just doesn't. It just doesn't.
(19:03):
It's about finding a way to live with your grief
and honor the memory of your loved one while embracing
the future. And you may not know when it happens,
when the grief happens, you don't know when it's going
to happen, and you just don't know. So you have
to really honor yourself on the journey that you're on here. Okay.
So I hope that helps a lot of people here.
(19:26):
And people always ask me, you know, like when is
a good time to see somebody like me? It all
depends on the person. I mean, I have said anywhere
from after somebody passes anywhere from a couple of weeks
to a month to it all depends. It all depends
on you. So when I lost my mom, and I
use that as a big example here, and bless her heart,
(19:50):
Navis Betilla, you know, my mentor, and how I just
love so much she was like Kelly, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna have a session with you, and she insisted, and
I probably was not in a space for that. This
is Mavis, and I was not in the space for that.
Yet we did it. We did it more than one
and of course James and so I had a lot
of great help around, and I was trying to hold
(20:10):
up the rest of the world that my mother had supported,
because my mother did want to believe, had any desire
to believe that she's going to pass.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
So that was a tough one and everything. It was
all not easy. Grief is not easy. It's just not easy.
So take your time with all of it, and take
good care of yourself. These are powerful times and powerful energies.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Thanks bye, my friends, Thank you for joining us on
Ask Me Anything. We hope our discussions with Kelly White
have enriched your spiritual understanding and personal growth, from recognizing
spiritual elements and children to understanding the subtle energies of crystals.
Each episode is a treasure trope of wisdom. Missed a
live session on Facebook or YouTube, don't worry. You can
always find the latest episodes on your favorite podcast app.
(20:53):
Remember your queries form the heart of our show, so
keep those questions coming for the next episode. Before we close,
make sure you subscribe to join us on this enlightening journey.
Until next time, continue to question, explore, and grow. The
universe is full of answers awaiting your curiosity.
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