December 16, 2024 • 38 mins
If you're a woman over 50, you likely find yourself facing the emotional and logistical challenges of caring for aging family members. Our guest, April Ibarra, a social gerontologist and my Faster Way client, is here to share her wisdom and guide you through this crucial journey. From teaching exercise classes in nursing homes to helping companies with health and wellness, April's path led her to her true passion—elder care advising. Now, she’s dedicated to helping families like yours navigate the complexities of aging.
In this conversation, we delve into the unique burdens often carried by women over 50, including the delicate balance between respecting an older adult's autonomy and recognizing when they may need more support. We discuss how caregiving can impact family dynamics—especially for daughters and daughters-in-law—and why mediation and listening are so important. April and I emphasize that you are not alone in this journey, and seeking support is essential.
As a caregiver, it’s easy to put yourself last. But self-care is key to being there for others. April shares her personal experience as a Faster Way client and how her holistic approach to health—focusing on nutrition, fitness, and sleep—helps her manage the demands of life while also aging well herself. We also discuss her new venture, Aging Advisor, which aims to empower families with the knowledge and resources they need to make informed decisions about elder care or caring for an ill partner.
If you're ready to take control of your health and caregiving responsibilities, join us for a conversation filled with compassion, practical advice, and insights that will help you approach these challenges with grace and confidence. Let April’s journey inspire you to take action—both for yourself and for your loved ones.
You can find April Ibarra at:
https://www.aprilibarra.com/
https://www.instagram.com/askaprilaboutaging/
_________________________________________
Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling run-down. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
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Michele Folan (00:04):
Health, wellness, fitness and everything in
between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
I'm your host, Michele Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
If you're a woman over 50, youmay have already experienced the
(00:25):
emotional and physical toll ofcaring for aging or ill parents,
or perhaps another familymember.
It's not something that can befully prepared for, especially
when it comes to the strain itplaces on you as well as the
broader family.
Trying to balance caregivingresponsibilities with an already
(00:45):
busy life can feel overwhelming, and if you don't have siblings
to share the load, it canbecome even more daunting.
Beyond caretaking, you may alsobe faced with managing the
logistics of long-term care orpreparing for a loved one's
eventual passing.
The good news is there areresources out there to support
families throughout the agingprocess, offering guidance when
(01:09):
navigating the many challengesthat can arise.
But the truth is, many of usaren't prepared to think about
aging until it's right in frontof us, and that's when we can
get caught by surprise.
Today, I'm thrilled to welcomeApril Ibarra to the podcast.
April is a social gerontologistwho specializes in helping
(01:29):
families navigate aging concerns, whether it's safety or the
ability to live independently.
She is also a client of mineand I'm excited to have her
share her insights and herexpertise.
Welcome to the show, aprilIbarra.
Thank you, michelle, it's greatto be here, nice to have you
here, and I will say, april andI have been connected on social
(01:52):
media for quite some time andthen she became a client and
then I learned more about whatshe does and I thought this is a
topic we should really diveinto, because I know April, a
lot of my friends and even myfamily.
We've been through this and soI think it's very, it's
(02:14):
appropriate and very timely.
Yeah, thank you.
First of all, I would love foryou to talk a little bit more
about you, where you're from andkind of what your career path
has been.
April Ibarra (02:26):
Yeah, thank you, michelle, and first of all
thanks for giving this topic avoice.
Like you said, we don't oftenthink about it, but I have been
trying, probably for the last 40years, to get people thinking
about aging, so I appreciate theopportunity to chat about it.
So yeah, I grew up in this area, actually in the Ohio side, and
(02:48):
moved to Kentucky about fiveyears ago, so I'm a local gal
born and raised and you know Istarted teaching exercise
classes in a nursing home when Iwas probably about 19 or 20,
before I even went to college.
I was sort of a non-traditionalcollege student.
I was actually going through adivorce before I even went to
(03:10):
college and my passion has neverwaived, so fitness and aging is
kind of my vibe.
Michele Folan (03:17):
Okay.
April Ibarra (03:18):
Okay, this is good .
Michele Folan (03:19):
So where did you go from there then?
April Ibarra (03:22):
Yeah.
So I really started off inwellness.
I was working for a localhospital it was Bethesda, before
it was TriHealth and I didcorporate health and wellness
programs.
So not only did I work withretirees at organizations like
General Electric, Procter Gamble, teaching them fitness programs
, but also with currentemployees.
(03:42):
So I always had that sort ofdual focus One, how do we keep
people healthy?
And two, how do we work witholder adults and keep them
active, keep them social?
Yeah, and then from there Itransitioned more into a sales
role, because I think Inaturally gravitated towards
that but always stayed inhealthcare.
(04:03):
But then I was sort of at thetop, talking about aging,
working for organizations,helping them deliver products
and services and you know, butreally outside right, and I
missed that contact that I hadin the beginning of my career in
working directly with olderadults.
So last year I got downsizedfrom a corporate role and I took
(04:26):
that opportunity to say I'm notdone yet and, michelle, you
know, this is exactly what youspeak about is we can reach a
point in your life.
I turned 60.
I got laid off from mycorporate job.
My husband retired from his jobthe very same week and he was
thrilled I'm sitting there goingfrom his job the very same week
(04:46):
and he was thrilled I'm sittingthere going I'm not done yet,
yeah.
So I had an opportunity to startworking for an elder law firm
doing care management, andthat's what I've been doing for
the last year and I realizedworking directly with older
adults and their families andguiding them on their aging
journey is something I'm sopassionate about.
Them on their aging journey issomething I'm so passionate
(05:08):
about, so that's going to be mypath until I'm no longer
breathing Well.
Michele Folan (05:10):
first of all, you are such a passionate,
energetic person and it'srefreshing for one Number two.
People are so lucky to have you.
You're so caring and you knowjust to kind of hold their hand
through this process because itcan be so stressful.
April Ibarra (05:30):
Very stressful for everyone, and every family
situation is different.
Every older adult is different,but the approach is all the
same.
You listen, you providecompassion and support, you
respect individual preferences,which I think is very important,
and by that I mean older adultsoften can become invisible.
(05:53):
I've done a lot of work onageism and it starts with us
right, yeah, we often are theworst to say I'm too old for
that, I can't wear this, I can'tdo that, and my reaction to
that is bull, it's never toolate.
It's never too late.
Michele Folan (06:12):
In your intro I said you're a social
gerontologist.
Yeah, that's so interesting.
So the role itself I went toMiami of Ohio and did my
undergrad in health promotionand wellness and aging and then
went on to get my master's ingerontology, all while working
full time Talk about theuntraditional.
(06:35):
But by the time I got done withthat, like 12 years later, I
had a lot of experience right,because I wasn't just going to
school, I was working, I wasapplying, so and I had the
opportunity with thatgerontology master's to be a
nursing home administrator andto go sort of really down that
route.
And I did not want to do that.
(06:56):
I'm a big fan of aging in place.
I think there's lots ofresources for people but you
know, in terms of institutions,but they are still institutions
and I think we can age in placeby staying healthy and being
prepared for aging experience.
So I did not want to be anursing home administrator.
I knew I wanted to take a moreholistic and wellness path.
(07:19):
But the difference but what asocial gerontologist is actually
is more of a holistic approachof looking at the aging
experience.
So I think that's a good thingas a care manager, because I
don't look at just a clinicalaspect If a nurse comes into the
room, they're certainly goingto say your diabetes is
(07:39):
unmanaged, you need to quitsmoking because you have COPD.
Whatever the situation might be,I'm going to look at the person
, yeah, and I'm going to saywhat is your life like and what
can we vary based on yourpreferences and your goals and
your beliefs, to make your lifethe best possible, highest
(08:00):
quality of life, regardless ofwhere you are in the aging
journey.
So I think I look moreholistically at that and so
that's sort of the approach thatI've taken and now I'm kind of
full center.
I'm all the way back.
Could be retired, refuse toretire.
We'll do this until again, I'mnot breathing because the need
is incredible and what I getback from it is unbelievable.
(08:24):
Well, here you are in the midst of all these
baby boomers.
So you and I are, in that lastyear baby boomers, which is kind
of proud of that.
For some reason, I'm like I'm aboomer, you know?
Yell it loud.
Yeah, I know Right.
And so Yell it loud.
Yeah, I know right.
And so there's so many of them.
(08:44):
Number one, right.
So there's just a ton of need,first of all.
And then I'm curious, as anaging advisor to families, how
do you work with them?
April Ibarra (09:01):
That's a good question.
And when I said everyone isdifferent, essentially they are,
but essentially we're all thesame right?
Human beings just need support.
Really, I think most of it issupport and compassion, but they
need direction.
So, first of all, I always willstart with my client is the
older adult.
Now, it's usually the familywho picks up the phone and says
(09:24):
we're in a crisis.
Dad has dementia, mom isn'tdoing well at home, she's
physically frail.
We have no idea where to gonext.
So it is traditionally a crisis.
But I will always start withwho is the older adult.
What is their opinion, what dothey need and where are they now
(09:44):
on their journey and where dowe expect it to go in the future
?
Right, because we're not justlooking at a segment in time.
We're really looking at what'sgoing on now.
What's this crisis?
And it could be ahospitalization, maybe it was a
fall, a new diagnosis, somethinglike that.
But then you know where do wego with this.
How do we calm things down now?
Help you understand what'sgoing on in that situation,
(10:06):
because it is overwhelming.
Yeah, and you would think, asyou said, we've got all these
baby boomers.
It's no surprise.
Our nation is aging.
We've known this for years andI keep thinking are we ready?
We're not ready, no, we are notready, and I think it's mostly
because people don't want totalk about it.
So thank you, michelle, fortalking about it.
I am always happy to talk aboutit and you know, it's that fear
(10:30):
of the unknown and sort ofputting our head, you know, in a
cloud and saying, well, we'lldeal with that later.
But that really ends upcreating many, many, many more
problems.
So I start with the individual,focusing on their needs, and
safety is number one.
I mean, first of all, if it'san unsafe situation, if somebody
has dementia, they're wanderingor they have a serious illness,
(10:52):
they can't take care ofthemselves let's fix the crisis
and then let's look to thefuture.
How can we make this personstill whole in how they approach
their day-to-day life?
And how do I support the family, often to understand that, yeah
, that's a lot to chew, becauseit's two different customers I
(11:15):
have.
Michele Folan (11:16):
Well, the reason I'm smiling is and I know you
have two different customers,and the family I bet is usually
the more difficult of thecustomers and the family I bet
is usually the more difficult ofthe customers they can be.
April Ibarra (11:31):
Well, and because and, michelle, you've kind of
gotten to know me a little bityou know I'm passionate but I'm
also very direct and I callmyself the field commander
Actually, my husband calls methat but I can take a situation
and start to break things downand make them manageable, calm
the situation and meeteveryone's needs as best as
(11:55):
possible.
But families are looking at thesituation through their own
lens and I understand that and Inever.
I respect them tremendously forwhere they are in the journey,
but they're thinking I'm worriedabout mom.
I want to fix this.
The older adults like get offmy back.
I'm a grown person, yeah, andthat's my number one priority is
(12:19):
them as an individual and as aperson.
And at no point in our life arewe no longer exempt for making
bad decisions or making mistakes.
And my only sort of caution inthat area is if somebody is
incapacitated from a cognitivestandpoint, then certainly we
have more room to make theirdecisions for them.
(12:42):
That's a totally separate thing.
But if somebody is older andmaybe they're, you know, they're
aging and, yeah, they're notmanaging their diabetes so well,
they're not exercising, theyrefuse to shower, I mean all
these things.
Well, so what Big deal?
What do we need to worry aboutand what do we need to accept?
(13:02):
So I like kind of working thosethings and I've enjoyed working
with the families and I thinkthey appreciate the support that
I give, because I don't really,I just help them to understand
the realities, all right.
Michele Folan (13:15):
What if I'm not trying to put you on the spot,
but what if family members arenot all on the same page?
How do you manage when there isthat fighting and fighting or
that kind of nasty disagreementsbetween parties?
April Ibarra (13:33):
Yeah, that's so normal.
And I think, first of all,let's understand that families
are complicated, right, and Ialways say you know we're taking
care of your loved ones, butyou know, I caution that with we
often have a complicatedrelationship with our family,
right, you may not have a greatrelationship with mom or dad.
It could have been tough, right, and now they're older, so you
(13:58):
know you got to look at it thatway.
So I just listen to everyone'spoint of view and bring it all
back to the circle of what we'retrying to do, which is,
whatever our goal is for thatolder adult, right, are they
safe to stay at home?
Can they manage on their own?
Is it okay if dad's dating nowthat mom has passed away?
(14:18):
Whatever, you know, the scenariois you put the client in the
middle of it and all agree uponthe goal of what we're trying to
accomplish, and then just breakit down and then sometimes you
just have to accept that.
You have to accept what isright, right, yeah, and so I
think it's just working withfamilies, listening to everyone,
(14:39):
giving everyone a voice andunderstanding that we all are
looking through the situationfrom our individual lens and
that's okay.
You know, mary may notunderstand that her brother, who
lives two states away.
He never does anything for momand I'm the primary caregiver,
but he does care.
He just doesn't know how tohelp, right?
(15:00):
So it's all about really justmediation and listening.
Everyone needs to feel heardand understand that they have
their own pain or worries aboutthe situation.
Michele Folan (15:12):
And everybody has their own way of approaching
these types of stresses,conflicts, and that sort of
thing.
April Ibarra (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, it's normal.
Michele Folan (15:38):
We're all a little crazy, but that's normal
and my brother and I are bothhere.
My brother was really helpfuland great emotional support, but
my sisters were great.
Even though they were manystates away, I always felt like
they were there with me becausethey were offering me a lot of
moral support when my mom wassick.
April Ibarra (15:58):
Absolutely Everybody has something to
contribute.
But yes, you're right, therewill traditionally be one person
who does the primary caregivingand that is traditionally the
female of the family, thedaughter or the daughter-in-law,
and there's a lot of peoplecaregiving and it's a gift.
Certainly, most people wouldsay I wish I had never had to do
(16:20):
that.
Most people are so grateful toget to do it.
But in the middle of it, whileyou're also raising children,
working and then trying tomanage a very complicated
healthcare system, it can beoverwhelming.
But you don't have to do italone.
There's a lot of people to helpand there's a lot of support if
(16:41):
you're willing to ask for it.
Michele Folan (16:43):
April, we're going to take a quick break and
when we come back, I want totalk a little bit about
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(17:04):
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(17:48):
See the show notes for details.
Welcome back everyone.
So, april, you brought upsomething before we went on
break about.
It's stressful and we're tryingto also lead busy lives and
that sort of thing.
I want to talk a little bitabout self-care, and how would
(18:08):
you counsel someone on self-careand being good to themselves
when they're in the midst ofcaregiving?
April Ibarra (18:16):
Yeah, Well, first of all, I'd remind them that
it's not an indulgence, it's arequirement.
And self-care can seemluxurious, right, but even
taking 10 minutes for yourself,stepping away from a situation
that has gotten you verystressed out.
Maybe you've told your mom 17times the same thing and she
(18:40):
doesn't listen or she can'tcomprehend.
You just have to sometimes stepaway.
But there's also a lot ofspouses caring for other spouses
and so you know it can be avery chronic situation and you
just have to be.
If you're not available to helpthem because you're not refused
to do good things for yourself,you're only hurting yourself
(19:04):
and your loved one.
So that time is important,whether that's taking a walk,
reading a book, getting somebodyin, so you've got a little bit
of respite, a little bit of abreak exercise.
Of course you know I'll comeback to that, because what a
stress buster that is.
But you have to balance.
We're usually in it for thelong haul.
So you know I'll come back tothat, because what a stress
buster that is, but you have tobalance.
This is, we're usually in itfor the long haul.
(19:25):
So you know, a little bit oftime for yourself is an
investment in the future andit's really not negotiable.
And if you don't ask for helpor you're not willing to take
those breaks, well, shame on you.
It's your own damn fault.
And I will say it like thatbecause nobody's willing to say,
(19:45):
oh, I can't handle this anymore.
But what have you got to prove?
You've got nothing to prove.
Michele Folan (19:57):
And your health is important in this journey.
You brought up something thatwe're into that age now where we
may be caring for a spouse,yeah, and there's early onset
dementia and chronic diseasesand things that are sneaking in
here and you forget that.
Yeah, we may be in that boathere, right?
April Ibarra (20:15):
I'm seeing a lot of that, a lot of couples who
are having to make some very,very difficult decisions for
what's in the best interest ofthat person who is failing, but
also for themselves, and so Iadmire the strength to be able
to make a decision that is sodifficult.
I mean, I've had couples whohave been married for 50 years
(20:39):
and the husband has had to placethe wife in a nursing facility
because of advanced dementia.
But you know, he spent threeyears with her living very
significantly with dementia athome, and he could no longer
physically do it because he'selderly too.
So it's okay, that's what theseresources are for, but it's not
(21:00):
easy.
I'm never going to say toanybody oh, you know, she's okay
, you'll be okay, it's not okay.
It's a hard road and I thinkthe more we can be prepared the
better, because things do happen.
Michele Folan (21:16):
Yeah, and there's that guilt.
I think, oh, I've given up.
You know I can't do thisanymore, I'm unable to do it.
But you go back to the safetypiece and the real ability to
like who are you serving hereand it, oh gosh, I can't even
imagine what a tough decisionthat is.
April Ibarra (21:36):
The couple has children.
The children are watching bothof the family members the mom
and dad decline because maybeone has dementia, the other one
has physical declines and thattoll of the stress just is so
daunting for both of them.
So that's the point we have toaccept the realities.
(21:57):
And you know we've talked a lotabout dementia today, because
dementia is one of the gamechangers that it makes it
impossible to ignore that weneed help.
Yeah, we can hide the physicalthings.
Right House isn't as clean as itused to be.
The refrigerator's kind of gotsome old food in it, mom left
(22:18):
something on the stove and itburnt those types of things that
we can hide those quite well,and most people do.
But then they hide them to thepoint where the end result is so
much worse Because if we couldhave gotten help a little bit
quicker, maybe things wouldn'thave ended up the way.
And I have seen legalsituations occur where people
(22:41):
just could no longer live safelyat home, because when we
finally got a look at what wasgoing on inside the house it was
so bad.
So we don't have to wait forthat.
Let's keep our eyes and ourhearts open and understand what
is normal and what is not normal.
Michele Folan (22:57):
You know I don't want to go down A rabbit hole,
but I will tell you, since wewere talking about dementia,
very interesting statistic Ilearned recently from a guest on
the podcast was 50% of dementiacases are preventable.
April Ibarra (23:13):
Yeah, Our lifestyle plays a huge role.
People do not understand.
And, Michele, I think that'swhy you and I clicked, because
we're both on a health journeyand it is a journey.
It's not a diet, it's not I'mgetting ready for big cruise or
a class reunion.
I'm in it to win it, becausewhen I get older, I want to
(23:35):
minimize.
You can't change, but I canminimize and prevent a lot of
disease and disability by justgetting your butt moving.
And when I started teachingexercise classes in a nursing
home, you know, and here I am,I'm a whippersnapper, according
to these people.
I'm like 19 years old.
I'm teaching people who are 80and 90.
(23:55):
And I'm saying how many of youwant help getting on and off the
toilet?
And that's what I would askthese groups and they would look
at me like what are you kidding?
I said the fact that you needhelp with activities of daily
living, like bathing anddressing and grooming, has
nothing to do with age.
It is strength, it's endurance,it's flexibility and we can fix
(24:18):
that.
Yeah, you know.
So that kind of get that.
Talk about functional medicine.
Michele Folan (24:22):
Yeah, well, you know the other day.
So the first bone that womentend to fracture are their
wrists.
You know there's already and Ithought hmm, so if I fell and I
broke my fall with my hands andI broke both of my arms or my
wrists and I'm on the floor, canI get myself up without using
(24:43):
my hands?
And so I was down in thebasement, I had my mat and I did
it right, but I'm not sure iftwo years ago, I would have been
able to do it that way, right.
And so there are things that wecan do.
Like you keep saying, it'snever too late to start working
(25:03):
on these things.
So you have your own personalaging journey here, and I'd love
for you to share a little bitmore about that with listeners.
April Ibarra (25:13):
Sure, sure, yeah, quick note too.
I used to.
For years about 10 plus years Iworked for the company Lifeline
, the medical alert company, andI would go all over the country
talking about fall prevention.
And I would throw myself on thecountry talking about fall
prevention and I would throwmyself on the floor in the
middle of an audience and say,now let's learn how to get up
from a fall.
And it would just crack theseolder people up.
(25:35):
But the truth is, yeah, you dohave to practice.
And what does it take?
Core strength, upper bodystrength.
So, yeah, I turned 60 this yearand I felt pretty darn good.
I mean, I've been exercisingsince I was 12.
But, honestly, exercise hasbeen the main part.
I've always been veryphysically active.
I'm not functioning if I'm notmoving.
(25:57):
But then this year I realizedI've got to be a little bit more
holistic and I'm going to haveto tie in the nutrition part
right.
And I think I've always beengood at the exercise, the stress
management.
I love yoga and meditation, but, quite frankly, nutrition was
my weak point.
So, Michele, I reached out toyou this year after I came back
(26:21):
from a two-week cruisecelebrating my birthday, going
all through Italy and Greece andeating till my heart's desire.
And on that trip I decided youknow, I've been watching you on
social media for a while Ithought I'm going to reach out.
I don't know what this is allabout, but I need a, you know, a
little jump start in my 60thyear and I had no idea how much
(26:44):
I was going to benefit.
I just didn't think I hadanything left to learn because
I've been doing this for so long.
Sure, you have, but I am.
I'm hooked on a couple things.
One I love the workouts becauseI think they are efficient and
effective.
I was one of these people thatspent a lot of time at the gym.
(27:04):
Now I can spend less time but,I think, be more efficient.
And then, with the nutrition,I've just changed in how I look
at food.
To be honest with you, and Idon't know, I didn't say, okay,
(27:25):
I'm going to have this diet forsix months or six weeks or
whatever.
I just said I threw my scale.
Actually, I took it over atGoodwill, I donated it and I did
, I mean, and I just threw it inthe trunk and I said I'm out,
because I was really irritatedevery day getting up on that
scale and seeing the weight andI thought that's, you know,
that's got to go.
So this program really hashelped me just learn to have a
(27:46):
good relationship with food andmake everything that I put in my
mouth be accountable.
And, of course, now I think weare in a new phase of what's
going on in the world in termsof make America healthy again.
I have to say, whatever youthink about that, I'm excited
because I've been waiting forthis for years.
(28:07):
Everything that I've done isabout wellness and nobody really
seemed to be interested.
But now we're looking at thechemicals that are in our food.
We're looking at how processedthings are.
So I'm like man, I feel totallyre-energized and I want to talk
to everybody about it.
Michele Folan (28:27):
Yeah, I love this because you know I first of all
thank you for that it's reallynever too late.
Again, back to that whole thing, to to learn about nutrition,
to change some of our habits.
We know food is not the same asit was when we were growing up,
and so it's forcing us to makesome different choices when it
(28:51):
comes to what we're putting inour mouths.
I think from the fitness piece,you were already doing a lot of
the things right and you madethat point that these workouts
are way more efficient.
You know they're 30 minuteslong, but a lot of them are full
body and you're getting a lotof the weight bearing exercise
(29:14):
that we need.
April Ibarra (29:15):
I feel more fit now than I ever have been and I
don't know if I'm losing weight,because I threw out the scale
and I haven't measured in awhile.
But I don't really care becauseyou know what, at the end of
the day, if I'm losing weightbecause I threw out the scale
and I haven't measured in awhile, but I don't really care
Because you know what, at theend of the day I'm doing all the
things I need to do andeverything else will fall into
place.
Michele Folan (29:32):
Are you still tracking your food or are you
just eyeballing it?
April Ibarra (29:36):
I am.
I usually take Saturday andSundays off of tracking, but
otherwise, yeah, I am stilltracking and I have been doing,
actually, weekly 24 hour fast.
I don't know if I should, butthis was my pre Thanksgiving
push, so every Monday I usuallydo a 24 hour fast.
So, yeah, so I'm finding my ownway.
(29:57):
I think we talked about that alot too.
I mean, I love Italian andMexican food, so I'm not a big
fan of certain sort of healthythings, but, like today, I had
grilled chicken with salsa verdeand sliced avocado for lunch
and that might be my meal today,because I might.
I think I mean I'm not reallyhungry tonight.
(30:18):
Then I probably will just waittill tomorrow and eat and then
also gradually pick up as theweek goes on.
Michele Folan (30:26):
Okay, so you're going to do 24 hour fast, then,
starting tonight, and then okay.
April Ibarra (30:32):
Yeah, it works better for me on the fast to
stop eating and like have mylast meal at noon and then the
next day at noon eat, because Ican go overnight and I can go in
the morning, but for somereason lunch is my meal.
So if I eat a good lunch, I'musually pretty good to go.
And again, I have a differentrelationship with food I'm not
(30:53):
obsessed with.
Where are we going for lunch?
What are we having for dinner?
It's like what can I eat today?
Michele Folan (30:59):
And get on with it.
And it's really, what am Igoing to eat?
That's going to fuel me.
And so I feel good now.
And I feel good at 3 o'clockthis afternoon Because that's
one of the biggest things for meis listening to clients say oh
my gosh, I'm not craving wheatthin crackers in the afternoon,
(31:20):
I'm not wanting that big cup ofcoffee I was having every day
for a snack, right, Right.
April Ibarra (31:25):
And even when you do splurge which I do because I
think that's important Sure, Imean, it's important to just,
you know, I like to rewardmyself, I work hard and I like
that little reward, but you findthat you just can't do the
things you used to do.
I mean, like I'll eat something.
I think that really was notthat great, and so that's the
changes I love.
Or I eat too much and it's like, no, I feel worse.
(31:55):
So that's the benefit I thinkI've seen in probably the last
three months is to be like, wow,I can make small changes.
I'm still, you know, doing thethings that I love.
You know, I love my vodka.
Gonna have a little vodka, Ilike some sweets, but I'm eating
healthier and I'm enjoying itand I feel really good.
Michele Folan (32:11):
Yeah, I love it.
So what advice would you giveto others who may be on the
fence into making the leap toreally dig into improving their
health?
April Ibarra (32:22):
I just try to show them what it can look like
right, to be healthy.
I think that's the best thing,because I learned a long time
ago you can't force anybody todo something.
They have to be ready for it.
So I just I'm trying to lead byexample.
You know, people say, wow, youlook great.
Or wow, you, you've got a lotof energy.
It's like, yeah, this is whatI'm doing, because everybody has
(32:46):
to take their own path.
But on the flip side of that too, as my friends who are the same
age as me are getting older,I'm like ladies, what do you
want your life to look like inthe next 20 years?
And you have got to strengthenyourself, you've got to exercise
.
So anybody gives me a littlebit of a window to get in and
(33:06):
talk about anything with them, Iwill do it.
But I try to respect people'sdifferences.
But I think if I think peopleare are hungry for a healthier
life, yeah, they really are it.
Just sometimes they just don'tthink it's it.
Oh, that's just not me.
I can't do that.
I'm like that's not true.
(33:27):
That's not true at all.
Michele Folan (33:29):
That's probably one of the biggest pushbacks or
concerns that I get is I won'tbe able to do the exercises.
I don't work out now and I'mnot going to be able to do the
exercises.
I'm like, listen, let's startwith your food first.
Yeah, you can start with chairexercises.
We've got those too.
Let's move yourself, Just get.
Let's just get started.
(33:49):
Walk down to the mailbox downon the corner and back right.
April Ibarra (33:55):
Actually that was always my advice with older
adults.
I said, just get up in themiddle of a commercial break and
, you know, walk around thehouse, get, you know, do some
leg lifts while you're sittingthere.
My aunt is 82 now and she'sreally struggling and I'm
getting her a Fitbit forChristmas because she says, well
, I'm moving a lot and I'm like,no, you're not, and no, you're
not, and she's reallycomplaining about it.
(34:17):
I said, well, you can complainabout it or you can do something
about it.
It's not too late.
You start moving a little bitin any way, shape or form, you
are going to start to see adifference.
But you don't just start.
Even myself, doing thoseworkouts, I was like I thought
I'd zip right through them.
No, I had trouble doing some ofthem and I thought, yeah,
(34:38):
that's humbling.
Michele Folan (34:39):
That's humbling, but the beauty of it.
You're in your house.
There's no one there who cares?
Who cares what you look like?
Who cares if you're stumblingaround?
April Ibarra (34:48):
You got to grab on to something it doesn't matter
yeah.
It doesn't matter, and walkingis one of the best things you
can do, so there's no excuse.
Michele Folan (34:57):
There's no excuse .
The data I just put it in anInstagram post today because I
got one of those weighted vestsyeah, and as few as 7,000 steps
a day reduces all-causemortality by 60%.
Yep, that is, that's huge.
That's 7,000 steps.
April Ibarra (35:18):
I mean, the data doesn't lie.
Yeah, and I just, I still havealways, just never understood
why people were so opposed toexercise.
It's like man, people just hateit.
So somewhere along the way it'sgotten a bad reputation.
But I think that's, I thinkit's, I think the times are
changing.
Michele Folan (35:37):
Yeah, it is, I see it clearly.
All right, april, what is oneof your core pillars of
self-care?
April Ibarra (35:45):
Sleep.
Yeah, I mean, I think probablysleep.
I'm in motion all day long, mybrain and my body.
You know, I am blessed with alot of energy and I think it's
just because I have drive and Iget excited to do things.
But boy, when it's time to shutdown, I have two speeds on and
(36:05):
off.
Michele Folan (36:06):
Somehow I can see that with you.
April Ibarra (36:07):
Yeah, so when I am resting, you know, to get under
the covers with a good book andget a good night's sleep is
precious, yeah, and healing.
Yeah, I hear you, sister.
Michele Folan (36:20):
Yeah.
What is on the horizon for youand your business?
Yeah, so I am starting my foryou and your business.
April Ibarra (36:25):
Yeah, so I am starting my own private practice
for care management.
Most people are familiar withthe term geriatric care
management.
I don't like the word geriatric, so my company is called Aging
Advisor, so I'm going to beoffering that starting next
month, rolling into 2025, reallylaunching that to help families
(36:46):
along their journey in any waythat they need it, whether it's
just hopping on the phone andsaying is this normal, what
should I do?
Or I'm at the hospital and Idon't know what to do.
Can you come and help?
Yes, I can.
Michele Folan (37:01):
Wonderful.
What a great resource forpeople to have.
I mean, you're like theirpartner, you're like an
extension of their family in alot of cases, right, and that's
why I like the word advisor.
April Ibarra (37:14):
I really struggle with that.
I don't want to be the caremanager.
Everybody has to make decisionsfor themselves.
I'm not here to tell people howto live, what to do.
I like to present the options,help them understand their
choices and let people decidefor themselves what's right for
them and their family.
So I thought advisor was thebest way to present that?
Michele Folan (37:38):
Yeah, that's perfect.
Yeah, so, april, where can thelisteners find you?
Aprilibaracom?
Okay, so I'm going to put thatin the show notes and you can
find her on Instagram too.
Yeah, aging with April.
April Ibarra (37:53):
Actually I'm updating all that, but ask April
about aging.
Michele Folan (37:58):
Ask April about aging.
Okay, that will also be in theshow notes.
April Ibarra (38:02):
That's me, and I will tell you yes she will, I'll
give.
Michele Folan (38:05):
I will tell you, yes, she will.
I'll give it to you straight.
Yes, she will.
April Ibarra, thank you so muchfor being here today.
This was fun.
Thank you, michelle, it wasgreat.
Thank you Appreciate you.
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
Please rate and review the showwhere you listen to the podcast
.
And did you know that Askingfor a Friend is available now to
(38:27):
listen on YouTube?
You can subscribe to thepodcast there as well.
Your support is appreciated andit helps others find the show.
Thank you.
Health, wellness, fitness and everything in
between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
I'm your host, Michele Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
If you're a woman over 50, youmay have already experienced the
(00:25):
emotional and physical toll ofcaring for aging or ill parents,
or perhaps another familymember.
It's not something that can befully prepared for, especially
when it comes to the strain itplaces on you as well as the
broader family.
Trying to balance caregivingresponsibilities with an already
(00:45):
busy life can feel overwhelming, and if you don't have siblings
to share the load, it canbecome even more daunting.
Beyond caretaking, you may alsobe faced with managing the
logistics of long-term care orpreparing for a loved one's
eventual passing.
The good news is there areresources out there to support
families throughout the agingprocess, offering guidance when
(01:09):
navigating the many challengesthat can arise.
But the truth is, many of usaren't prepared to think about
aging until it's right in frontof us, and that's when we can
get caught by surprise.
Today, I'm thrilled to welcomeApril Ibarra to the podcast.
April is a social gerontologistwho specializes in helping
(01:29):
families navigate aging concerns, whether it's safety or the
ability to live independently.
She is also a client of mineand I'm excited to have her
share her insights and herexpertise.
Welcome to the show, aprilIbarra.
Thank you, michelle, it's greatto be here, nice to have you
here, and I will say, april andI have been connected on social
(01:52):
media for quite some time andthen she became a client and
then I learned more about whatshe does and I thought this is a
topic we should really diveinto, because I know April, a
lot of my friends and even myfamily.
We've been through this and soI think it's very, it's
(02:14):
appropriate and very timely.
Yeah, thank you.
First of all, I would love foryou to talk a little bit more
about you, where you're from andkind of what your career path
has been.
April Ibarra (02:26):
Yeah, thank you, michelle, and first of all
thanks for giving this topic avoice.
Like you said, we don't oftenthink about it, but I have been
trying, probably for the last 40years, to get people thinking
about aging, so I appreciate theopportunity to chat about it.
So yeah, I grew up in this area, actually in the Ohio side, and
(02:48):
moved to Kentucky about fiveyears ago, so I'm a local gal
born and raised and you know Istarted teaching exercise
classes in a nursing home when Iwas probably about 19 or 20,
before I even went to college.
I was sort of a non-traditionalcollege student.
I was actually going through adivorce before I even went to
(03:10):
college and my passion has neverwaived, so fitness and aging is
kind of my vibe.
Michele Folan (03:17):
Okay.
April Ibarra (03:18):
Okay, this is good .
Michele Folan (03:19):
So where did you go from there then?
April Ibarra (03:22):
Yeah.
So I really started off inwellness.
I was working for a localhospital it was Bethesda, before
it was TriHealth and I didcorporate health and wellness
programs.
So not only did I work withretirees at organizations like
General Electric, Procter Gamble, teaching them fitness programs
, but also with currentemployees.
(03:42):
So I always had that sort ofdual focus One, how do we keep
people healthy?
And two, how do we work witholder adults and keep them
active, keep them social?
Yeah, and then from there Itransitioned more into a sales
role, because I think Inaturally gravitated towards
that but always stayed inhealthcare.
(04:03):
But then I was sort of at thetop, talking about aging,
working for organizations,helping them deliver products
and services and you know, butreally outside right, and I
missed that contact that I hadin the beginning of my career in
working directly with olderadults.
So last year I got downsizedfrom a corporate role and I took
(04:26):
that opportunity to say I'm notdone yet and, michelle, you
know, this is exactly what youspeak about is we can reach a
point in your life.
I turned 60.
I got laid off from mycorporate job.
My husband retired from his jobthe very same week and he was
thrilled I'm sitting there goingfrom his job the very same week
(04:46):
and he was thrilled I'm sittingthere going I'm not done yet,
yeah.
So I had an opportunity to startworking for an elder law firm
doing care management, andthat's what I've been doing for
the last year and I realizedworking directly with older
adults and their families andguiding them on their aging
journey is something I'm sopassionate about.
Them on their aging journey issomething I'm so passionate
(05:08):
about, so that's going to be mypath until I'm no longer
breathing Well.
Michele Folan (05:10):
first of all, you are such a passionate,
energetic person and it'srefreshing for one Number two.
People are so lucky to have you.
You're so caring and you knowjust to kind of hold their hand
through this process because itcan be so stressful.
April Ibarra (05:30):
Very stressful for everyone, and every family
situation is different.
Every older adult is different,but the approach is all the
same.
You listen, you providecompassion and support, you
respect individual preferences,which I think is very important,
and by that I mean older adultsoften can become invisible.
(05:53):
I've done a lot of work onageism and it starts with us
right, yeah, we often are theworst to say I'm too old for
that, I can't wear this, I can'tdo that, and my reaction to
that is bull, it's never toolate.
It's never too late.
Michele Folan (06:12):
In your intro I said you're a social
gerontologist.
Yeah, that's so interesting.
So the role itself I went toMiami of Ohio and did my
undergrad in health promotionand wellness and aging and then
went on to get my master's ingerontology, all while working
full time Talk about theuntraditional.
(06:35):
But by the time I got done withthat, like 12 years later, I
had a lot of experience right,because I wasn't just going to
school, I was working, I wasapplying, so and I had the
opportunity with thatgerontology master's to be a
nursing home administrator andto go sort of really down that
route.
And I did not want to do that.
(06:56):
I'm a big fan of aging in place.
I think there's lots ofresources for people but you
know, in terms of institutions,but they are still institutions
and I think we can age in placeby staying healthy and being
prepared for aging experience.
So I did not want to be anursing home administrator.
I knew I wanted to take a moreholistic and wellness path.
(07:19):
But the difference but what asocial gerontologist is actually
is more of a holistic approachof looking at the aging
experience.
So I think that's a good thingas a care manager, because I
don't look at just a clinicalaspect If a nurse comes into the
room, they're certainly goingto say your diabetes is
(07:39):
unmanaged, you need to quitsmoking because you have COPD.
Whatever the situation might be,I'm going to look at the person
, yeah, and I'm going to saywhat is your life like and what
can we vary based on yourpreferences and your goals and
your beliefs, to make your lifethe best possible, highest
(08:00):
quality of life, regardless ofwhere you are in the aging
journey.
So I think I look moreholistically at that and so
that's sort of the approach thatI've taken and now I'm kind of
full center.
I'm all the way back.
Could be retired, refuse toretire.
We'll do this until again, I'mnot breathing because the need
is incredible and what I getback from it is unbelievable.
(08:24):
Well, here you are in the midst of all these
baby boomers.
So you and I are, in that lastyear baby boomers, which is kind
of proud of that.
For some reason, I'm like I'm aboomer, you know?
Yell it loud.
Yeah, I know Right.
And so Yell it loud.
Yeah, I know right.
And so there's so many of them.
(08:44):
Number one, right.
So there's just a ton of need,first of all.
And then I'm curious, as anaging advisor to families, how
do you work with them?
April Ibarra (09:01):
That's a good question.
And when I said everyone isdifferent, essentially they are,
but essentially we're all thesame right?
Human beings just need support.
Really, I think most of it issupport and compassion, but they
need direction.
So, first of all, I always willstart with my client is the
older adult.
Now, it's usually the familywho picks up the phone and says
(09:24):
we're in a crisis.
Dad has dementia, mom isn'tdoing well at home, she's
physically frail.
We have no idea where to gonext.
So it is traditionally a crisis.
But I will always start withwho is the older adult.
What is their opinion, what dothey need and where are they now
(09:44):
on their journey and where dowe expect it to go in the future
?
Right, because we're not justlooking at a segment in time.
We're really looking at what'sgoing on now.
What's this crisis?
And it could be ahospitalization, maybe it was a
fall, a new diagnosis, somethinglike that.
But then you know where do wego with this.
How do we calm things down now?
Help you understand what'sgoing on in that situation,
(10:06):
because it is overwhelming.
Yeah, and you would think, asyou said, we've got all these
baby boomers.
It's no surprise.
Our nation is aging.
We've known this for years andI keep thinking are we ready?
We're not ready, no, we are notready, and I think it's mostly
because people don't want totalk about it.
So thank you, michelle, fortalking about it.
I am always happy to talk aboutit and you know, it's that fear
(10:30):
of the unknown and sort ofputting our head, you know, in a
cloud and saying, well, we'lldeal with that later.
But that really ends upcreating many, many, many more
problems.
So I start with the individual,focusing on their needs, and
safety is number one.
I mean, first of all, if it'san unsafe situation, if somebody
has dementia, they're wanderingor they have a serious illness,
(10:52):
they can't take care ofthemselves let's fix the crisis
and then let's look to thefuture.
How can we make this personstill whole in how they approach
their day-to-day life?
And how do I support the family, often to understand that, yeah
, that's a lot to chew, becauseit's two different customers I
(11:15):
have.
Michele Folan (11:16):
Well, the reason I'm smiling is and I know you
have two different customers,and the family I bet is usually
the more difficult of thecustomers and the family I bet
is usually the more difficult ofthe customers they can be.
April Ibarra (11:31):
Well, and because and, michelle, you've kind of
gotten to know me a little bityou know I'm passionate but I'm
also very direct and I callmyself the field commander
Actually, my husband calls methat but I can take a situation
and start to break things downand make them manageable, calm
the situation and meeteveryone's needs as best as
(11:55):
possible.
But families are looking at thesituation through their own
lens and I understand that and Inever.
I respect them tremendously forwhere they are in the journey,
but they're thinking I'm worriedabout mom.
I want to fix this.
The older adults like get offmy back.
I'm a grown person, yeah, andthat's my number one priority is
(12:19):
them as an individual and as aperson.
And at no point in our life arewe no longer exempt for making
bad decisions or making mistakes.
And my only sort of caution inthat area is if somebody is
incapacitated from a cognitivestandpoint, then certainly we
have more room to make theirdecisions for them.
(12:42):
That's a totally separate thing.
But if somebody is older andmaybe they're, you know, they're
aging and, yeah, they're notmanaging their diabetes so well,
they're not exercising, theyrefuse to shower, I mean all
these things.
Well, so what Big deal?
What do we need to worry aboutand what do we need to accept?
(13:02):
So I like kind of working thosethings and I've enjoyed working
with the families and I thinkthey appreciate the support that
I give, because I don't really,I just help them to understand
the realities, all right.
Michele Folan (13:15):
What if I'm not trying to put you on the spot,
but what if family members arenot all on the same page?
How do you manage when there isthat fighting and fighting or
that kind of nasty disagreementsbetween parties?
April Ibarra (13:33):
Yeah, that's so normal.
And I think, first of all,let's understand that families
are complicated, right, and Ialways say you know we're taking
care of your loved ones, butyou know, I caution that with we
often have a complicatedrelationship with our family,
right, you may not have a greatrelationship with mom or dad.
It could have been tough, right, and now they're older, so you
(13:58):
know you got to look at it thatway.
So I just listen to everyone'spoint of view and bring it all
back to the circle of what we'retrying to do, which is,
whatever our goal is for thatolder adult, right, are they
safe to stay at home?
Can they manage on their own?
Is it okay if dad's dating nowthat mom has passed away?
(14:18):
Whatever, you know, the scenariois you put the client in the
middle of it and all agree uponthe goal of what we're trying to
accomplish, and then just breakit down and then sometimes you
just have to accept that.
You have to accept what isright, right, yeah, and so I
think it's just working withfamilies, listening to everyone,
(14:39):
giving everyone a voice andunderstanding that we all are
looking through the situationfrom our individual lens and
that's okay.
You know, mary may notunderstand that her brother, who
lives two states away.
He never does anything for momand I'm the primary caregiver,
but he does care.
He just doesn't know how tohelp, right?
(15:00):
So it's all about really justmediation and listening.
Everyone needs to feel heardand understand that they have
their own pain or worries aboutthe situation.
Michele Folan (15:12):
And everybody has their own way of approaching
these types of stresses,conflicts, and that sort of
thing.
April Ibarra (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, it's normal.
Michele Folan (15:38):
We're all a little crazy, but that's normal
and my brother and I are bothhere.
My brother was really helpfuland great emotional support, but
my sisters were great.
Even though they were manystates away, I always felt like
they were there with me becausethey were offering me a lot of
moral support when my mom wassick.
April Ibarra (15:58):
Absolutely Everybody has something to
contribute.
But yes, you're right, therewill traditionally be one person
who does the primary caregivingand that is traditionally the
female of the family, thedaughter or the daughter-in-law,
and there's a lot of peoplecaregiving and it's a gift.
Certainly, most people wouldsay I wish I had never had to do
(16:20):
that.
Most people are so grateful toget to do it.
But in the middle of it, whileyou're also raising children,
working and then trying tomanage a very complicated
healthcare system, it can beoverwhelming.
But you don't have to do italone.
There's a lot of people to helpand there's a lot of support if
(16:41):
you're willing to ask for it.
Michele Folan (16:43):
April, we're going to take a quick break and
when we come back, I want totalk a little bit about
self-care.
As 2025 approaches, humannature and tradition prompts us
to start looking ahead at goalsfor the new year.
We tend to gravitate towardhealth goals, many of which may
have been on the list for 2024.
(17:04):
But that's okay.
This year can be different,maybe if we have an option that
caters to the changing needs ofmidlife women.
That is not only effective withmacro-based nutrition and daily
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Welcome back everyone.
So, april, you brought upsomething before we went on
break about.
It's stressful and we're tryingto also lead busy lives and
that sort of thing.
I want to talk a little bitabout self-care, and how would
(18:08):
you counsel someone on self-careand being good to themselves
when they're in the midst ofcaregiving?
April Ibarra (18:16):
Yeah, Well, first of all, I'd remind them that
it's not an indulgence, it's arequirement.
And self-care can seemluxurious, right, but even
taking 10 minutes for yourself,stepping away from a situation
that has gotten you verystressed out.
Maybe you've told your mom 17times the same thing and she
(18:40):
doesn't listen or she can'tcomprehend.
You just have to sometimes stepaway.
But there's also a lot ofspouses caring for other spouses
and so you know it can be avery chronic situation and you
just have to be.
If you're not available to helpthem because you're not refused
to do good things for yourself,you're only hurting yourself
(19:04):
and your loved one.
So that time is important,whether that's taking a walk,
reading a book, getting somebodyin, so you've got a little bit
of respite, a little bit of abreak exercise.
Of course you know I'll comeback to that, because what a
stress buster that is.
But you have to balance.
We're usually in it for thelong haul.
So you know I'll come back tothat, because what a stress
buster that is, but you have tobalance.
This is, we're usually in itfor the long haul.
(19:25):
So you know, a little bit oftime for yourself is an
investment in the future andit's really not negotiable.
And if you don't ask for helpor you're not willing to take
those breaks, well, shame on you.
It's your own damn fault.
And I will say it like thatbecause nobody's willing to say,
(19:45):
oh, I can't handle this anymore.
But what have you got to prove?
You've got nothing to prove.
Michele Folan (19:57):
And your health is important in this journey.
You brought up something thatwe're into that age now where we
may be caring for a spouse,yeah, and there's early onset
dementia and chronic diseasesand things that are sneaking in
here and you forget that.
Yeah, we may be in that boathere, right?
April Ibarra (20:15):
I'm seeing a lot of that, a lot of couples who
are having to make some very,very difficult decisions for
what's in the best interest ofthat person who is failing, but
also for themselves, and so Iadmire the strength to be able
to make a decision that is sodifficult.
I mean, I've had couples whohave been married for 50 years
(20:39):
and the husband has had to placethe wife in a nursing facility
because of advanced dementia.
But you know, he spent threeyears with her living very
significantly with dementia athome, and he could no longer
physically do it because he'selderly too.
So it's okay, that's what theseresources are for, but it's not
(21:00):
easy.
I'm never going to say toanybody oh, you know, she's okay
, you'll be okay, it's not okay.
It's a hard road and I thinkthe more we can be prepared the
better, because things do happen.
Michele Folan (21:16):
Yeah, and there's that guilt.
I think, oh, I've given up.
You know I can't do thisanymore, I'm unable to do it.
But you go back to the safetypiece and the real ability to
like who are you serving hereand it, oh gosh, I can't even
imagine what a tough decisionthat is.
April Ibarra (21:36):
The couple has children.
The children are watching bothof the family members the mom
and dad decline because maybeone has dementia, the other one
has physical declines and thattoll of the stress just is so
daunting for both of them.
So that's the point we have toaccept the realities.
(21:57):
And you know we've talked a lotabout dementia today, because
dementia is one of the gamechangers that it makes it
impossible to ignore that weneed help.
Yeah, we can hide the physicalthings.
Right House isn't as clean as itused to be.
The refrigerator's kind of gotsome old food in it, mom left
(22:18):
something on the stove and itburnt those types of things that
we can hide those quite well,and most people do.
But then they hide them to thepoint where the end result is so
much worse Because if we couldhave gotten help a little bit
quicker, maybe things wouldn'thave ended up the way.
And I have seen legalsituations occur where people
(22:41):
just could no longer live safelyat home, because when we
finally got a look at what wasgoing on inside the house it was
so bad.
So we don't have to wait forthat.
Let's keep our eyes and ourhearts open and understand what
is normal and what is not normal.
Michele Folan (22:57):
You know I don't want to go down A rabbit hole,
but I will tell you, since wewere talking about dementia,
very interesting statistic Ilearned recently from a guest on
the podcast was 50% of dementiacases are preventable.
April Ibarra (23:13):
Yeah, Our lifestyle plays a huge role.
People do not understand.
And, Michele, I think that'swhy you and I clicked, because
we're both on a health journeyand it is a journey.
It's not a diet, it's not I'mgetting ready for big cruise or
a class reunion.
I'm in it to win it, becausewhen I get older, I want to
(23:35):
minimize.
You can't change, but I canminimize and prevent a lot of
disease and disability by justgetting your butt moving.
And when I started teachingexercise classes in a nursing
home, you know, and here I am,I'm a whippersnapper, according
to these people.
I'm like 19 years old.
I'm teaching people who are 80and 90.
(23:55):
And I'm saying how many of youwant help getting on and off the
toilet?
And that's what I would askthese groups and they would look
at me like what are you kidding?
I said the fact that you needhelp with activities of daily
living, like bathing anddressing and grooming, has
nothing to do with age.
It is strength, it's endurance,it's flexibility and we can fix
(24:18):
that.
Yeah, you know.
So that kind of get that.
Talk about functional medicine.
Michele Folan (24:22):
Yeah, well, you know the other day.
So the first bone that womentend to fracture are their
wrists.
You know there's already and Ithought hmm, so if I fell and I
broke my fall with my hands andI broke both of my arms or my
wrists and I'm on the floor, canI get myself up without using
(24:43):
my hands?
And so I was down in thebasement, I had my mat and I did
it right, but I'm not sure iftwo years ago, I would have been
able to do it that way, right.
And so there are things that wecan do.
Like you keep saying, it'snever too late to start working
(25:03):
on these things.
So you have your own personalaging journey here, and I'd love
for you to share a little bitmore about that with listeners.
April Ibarra (25:13):
Sure, sure, yeah, quick note too.
I used to.
For years about 10 plus years Iworked for the company Lifeline
, the medical alert company, andI would go all over the country
talking about fall prevention.
And I would throw myself on thecountry talking about fall
prevention and I would throwmyself on the floor in the
middle of an audience and say,now let's learn how to get up
from a fall.
And it would just crack theseolder people up.
(25:35):
But the truth is, yeah, you dohave to practice.
And what does it take?
Core strength, upper bodystrength.
So, yeah, I turned 60 this yearand I felt pretty darn good.
I mean, I've been exercisingsince I was 12.
But, honestly, exercise hasbeen the main part.
I've always been veryphysically active.
I'm not functioning if I'm notmoving.
(25:57):
But then this year I realizedI've got to be a little bit more
holistic and I'm going to haveto tie in the nutrition part
right.
And I think I've always beengood at the exercise, the stress
management.
I love yoga and meditation, but, quite frankly, nutrition was
my weak point.
So, Michele, I reached out toyou this year after I came back
(26:21):
from a two-week cruisecelebrating my birthday, going
all through Italy and Greece andeating till my heart's desire.
And on that trip I decided youknow, I've been watching you on
social media for a while Ithought I'm going to reach out.
I don't know what this is allabout, but I need a, you know, a
little jump start in my 60thyear and I had no idea how much
(26:44):
I was going to benefit.
I just didn't think I hadanything left to learn because
I've been doing this for so long.
Sure, you have, but I am.
I'm hooked on a couple things.
One I love the workouts becauseI think they are efficient and
effective.
I was one of these people thatspent a lot of time at the gym.
(27:04):
Now I can spend less time but,I think, be more efficient.
And then, with the nutrition,I've just changed in how I look
at food.
To be honest with you, and Idon't know, I didn't say, okay,
(27:25):
I'm going to have this diet forsix months or six weeks or
whatever.
I just said I threw my scale.
Actually, I took it over atGoodwill, I donated it and I did
, I mean, and I just threw it inthe trunk and I said I'm out,
because I was really irritatedevery day getting up on that
scale and seeing the weight andI thought that's, you know,
that's got to go.
So this program really hashelped me just learn to have a
(27:46):
good relationship with food andmake everything that I put in my
mouth be accountable.
And, of course, now I think weare in a new phase of what's
going on in the world in termsof make America healthy again.
I have to say, whatever youthink about that, I'm excited
because I've been waiting forthis for years.
(28:07):
Everything that I've done isabout wellness and nobody really
seemed to be interested.
But now we're looking at thechemicals that are in our food.
We're looking at how processedthings are.
So I'm like man, I feel totallyre-energized and I want to talk
to everybody about it.
Michele Folan (28:27):
Yeah, I love this because you know I first of all
thank you for that it's reallynever too late.
Again, back to that whole thing, to to learn about nutrition,
to change some of our habits.
We know food is not the same asit was when we were growing up,
and so it's forcing us to makesome different choices when it
(28:51):
comes to what we're putting inour mouths.
I think from the fitness piece,you were already doing a lot of
the things right and you madethat point that these workouts
are way more efficient.
You know they're 30 minuteslong, but a lot of them are full
body and you're getting a lotof the weight bearing exercise
(29:14):
that we need.
April Ibarra (29:15):
I feel more fit now than I ever have been and I
don't know if I'm losing weight,because I threw out the scale
and I haven't measured in awhile.
But I don't really care becauseyou know what, at the end of
the day, if I'm losing weightbecause I threw out the scale
and I haven't measured in awhile, but I don't really care
Because you know what, at theend of the day I'm doing all the
things I need to do andeverything else will fall into
place.
Michele Folan (29:32):
Are you still tracking your food or are you
just eyeballing it?
April Ibarra (29:36):
I am.
I usually take Saturday andSundays off of tracking, but
otherwise, yeah, I am stilltracking and I have been doing,
actually, weekly 24 hour fast.
I don't know if I should, butthis was my pre Thanksgiving
push, so every Monday I usuallydo a 24 hour fast.
So, yeah, so I'm finding my ownway.
(29:57):
I think we talked about that alot too.
I mean, I love Italian andMexican food, so I'm not a big
fan of certain sort of healthythings, but, like today, I had
grilled chicken with salsa verdeand sliced avocado for lunch
and that might be my meal today,because I might.
I think I mean I'm not reallyhungry tonight.
(30:18):
Then I probably will just waittill tomorrow and eat and then
also gradually pick up as theweek goes on.
Michele Folan (30:26):
Okay, so you're going to do 24 hour fast, then,
starting tonight, and then okay.
April Ibarra (30:32):
Yeah, it works better for me on the fast to
stop eating and like have mylast meal at noon and then the
next day at noon eat, because Ican go overnight and I can go in
the morning, but for somereason lunch is my meal.
So if I eat a good lunch, I'musually pretty good to go.
And again, I have a differentrelationship with food I'm not
(30:53):
obsessed with.
Where are we going for lunch?
What are we having for dinner?
It's like what can I eat today?
Michele Folan (30:59):
And get on with it.
And it's really, what am Igoing to eat?
That's going to fuel me.
And so I feel good now.
And I feel good at 3 o'clockthis afternoon Because that's
one of the biggest things for meis listening to clients say oh
my gosh, I'm not craving wheatthin crackers in the afternoon,
(31:20):
I'm not wanting that big cup ofcoffee I was having every day
for a snack, right, Right.
April Ibarra (31:25):
And even when you do splurge which I do because I
think that's important Sure, Imean, it's important to just,
you know, I like to rewardmyself, I work hard and I like
that little reward, but you findthat you just can't do the
things you used to do.
I mean, like I'll eat something.
I think that really was notthat great, and so that's the
changes I love.
Or I eat too much and it's like, no, I feel worse.
(31:55):
So that's the benefit I thinkI've seen in probably the last
three months is to be like, wow,I can make small changes.
I'm still, you know, doing thethings that I love.
You know, I love my vodka.
Gonna have a little vodka, Ilike some sweets, but I'm eating
healthier and I'm enjoying itand I feel really good.
Michele Folan (32:11):
Yeah, I love it.
So what advice would you giveto others who may be on the
fence into making the leap toreally dig into improving their
health?
April Ibarra (32:22):
I just try to show them what it can look like
right, to be healthy.
I think that's the best thing,because I learned a long time
ago you can't force anybody todo something.
They have to be ready for it.
So I just I'm trying to lead byexample.
You know, people say, wow, youlook great.
Or wow, you, you've got a lotof energy.
It's like, yeah, this is whatI'm doing, because everybody has
(32:46):
to take their own path.
But on the flip side of that too, as my friends who are the same
age as me are getting older,I'm like ladies, what do you
want your life to look like inthe next 20 years?
And you have got to strengthenyourself, you've got to exercise
.
So anybody gives me a littlebit of a window to get in and
(33:06):
talk about anything with them, Iwill do it.
But I try to respect people'sdifferences.
But I think if I think peopleare are hungry for a healthier
life, yeah, they really are it.
Just sometimes they just don'tthink it's it.
Oh, that's just not me.
I can't do that.
I'm like that's not true.
(33:27):
That's not true at all.
Michele Folan (33:29):
That's probably one of the biggest pushbacks or
concerns that I get is I won'tbe able to do the exercises.
I don't work out now and I'mnot going to be able to do the
exercises.
I'm like, listen, let's startwith your food first.
Yeah, you can start with chairexercises.
We've got those too.
Let's move yourself, Just get.
Let's just get started.
(33:49):
Walk down to the mailbox downon the corner and back right.
April Ibarra (33:55):
Actually that was always my advice with older
adults.
I said, just get up in themiddle of a commercial break and
, you know, walk around thehouse, get, you know, do some
leg lifts while you're sittingthere.
My aunt is 82 now and she'sreally struggling and I'm
getting her a Fitbit forChristmas because she says, well
, I'm moving a lot and I'm like,no, you're not, and no, you're
not, and she's reallycomplaining about it.
(34:17):
I said, well, you can complainabout it or you can do something
about it.
It's not too late.
You start moving a little bitin any way, shape or form, you
are going to start to see adifference.
But you don't just start.
Even myself, doing thoseworkouts, I was like I thought
I'd zip right through them.
No, I had trouble doing some ofthem and I thought, yeah,
(34:38):
that's humbling.
Michele Folan (34:39):
That's humbling, but the beauty of it.
You're in your house.
There's no one there who cares?
Who cares what you look like?
Who cares if you're stumblingaround?
April Ibarra (34:48):
You got to grab on to something it doesn't matter
yeah.
It doesn't matter, and walkingis one of the best things you
can do, so there's no excuse.
Michele Folan (34:57):
There's no excuse .
The data I just put it in anInstagram post today because I
got one of those weighted vestsyeah, and as few as 7,000 steps
a day reduces all-causemortality by 60%.
Yep, that is, that's huge.
That's 7,000 steps.
April Ibarra (35:18):
I mean, the data doesn't lie.
Yeah, and I just, I still havealways, just never understood
why people were so opposed toexercise.
It's like man, people just hateit.
So somewhere along the way it'sgotten a bad reputation.
But I think that's, I thinkit's, I think the times are
changing.
Michele Folan (35:37):
Yeah, it is, I see it clearly.
All right, april, what is oneof your core pillars of
self-care?
April Ibarra (35:45):
Sleep.
Yeah, I mean, I think probablysleep.
I'm in motion all day long, mybrain and my body.
You know, I am blessed with alot of energy and I think it's
just because I have drive and Iget excited to do things.
But boy, when it's time to shutdown, I have two speeds on and
(36:05):
off.
Michele Folan (36:06):
Somehow I can see that with you.
April Ibarra (36:07):
Yeah, so when I am resting, you know, to get under
the covers with a good book andget a good night's sleep is
precious, yeah, and healing.
Yeah, I hear you, sister.
Michele Folan (36:20):
Yeah.
What is on the horizon for youand your business?
Yeah, so I am starting my foryou and your business.
April Ibarra (36:25):
Yeah, so I am starting my own private practice
for care management.
Most people are familiar withthe term geriatric care
management.
I don't like the word geriatric, so my company is called Aging
Advisor, so I'm going to beoffering that starting next
month, rolling into 2025, reallylaunching that to help families
(36:46):
along their journey in any waythat they need it, whether it's
just hopping on the phone andsaying is this normal, what
should I do?
Or I'm at the hospital and Idon't know what to do.
Can you come and help?
Yes, I can.
Michele Folan (37:01):
Wonderful.
What a great resource forpeople to have.
I mean, you're like theirpartner, you're like an
extension of their family in alot of cases, right, and that's
why I like the word advisor.
April Ibarra (37:14):
I really struggle with that.
I don't want to be the caremanager.
Everybody has to make decisionsfor themselves.
I'm not here to tell people howto live, what to do.
I like to present the options,help them understand their
choices and let people decidefor themselves what's right for
them and their family.
So I thought advisor was thebest way to present that?
Michele Folan (37:38):
Yeah, that's perfect.
Yeah, so, april, where can thelisteners find you?
Aprilibaracom?
Okay, so I'm going to put thatin the show notes and you can
find her on Instagram too.
Yeah, aging with April.
April Ibarra (37:53):
Actually I'm updating all that, but ask April
about aging.
Michele Folan (37:58):
Ask April about aging.
Okay, that will also be in theshow notes.
April Ibarra (38:02):
That's me, and I will tell you yes she will, I'll
give.
Michele Folan (38:05):
I will tell you, yes, she will.
I'll give it to you straight.
Yes, she will.
April Ibarra, thank you so muchfor being here today.
This was fun.
Thank you, michelle, it wasgreat.
Thank you Appreciate you.
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
Please rate and review the showwhere you listen to the podcast
.
And did you know that Askingfor a Friend is available now to
(38:27):
listen on YouTube?
You can subscribe to thepodcast there as well.
Your support is appreciated andit helps others find the show.
Thank you.
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