June 17, 2025 • 37 mins
When life knocks the wind out of you, how do you find your way back to yourself?
In this episode of Asking for a Friend, we sit down with Cristina Simmons—a mother, occupational therapist, Faster Way coach, and now author of Eat Your Feelings. Her journey reads like a survival manual for the modern woman: deep grief, childhood trauma, infidelity, chronic stress, raising adopted twins with prenatal drug exposure, and navigating the complexities of raising a child with autism.
But Cristina didn’t just survive—she rebuilt. Piece by piece.
After years of numbing pain with food, ignoring the signals from her body, and losing her sense of self, Cristina hit a breaking point. What followed was a radical shift toward healing—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She discovered the transformative power of functional fitness, nervous system regulation, and true community support.
This episode is a lifeline for women stuck in survival mode—especially in midlife, when the emotional backlog can no longer be ignored. Cristina offers practical tools rooted in her EAT method (Educate, Accept, Transform) to help you move through grief, overwhelm, and identity loss with compassion and clarity.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this all there is?” or felt like you’re disappearing under the weight of caregiving, trauma, or unmet expectations, Cristina’s story will meet you where you are—and light the way forward.
🎧 Tune in and take the first step toward reclaiming your health, your power, and your peace.
Her book, Eat Your Feelings, is being released in July 2025.
You can find Cristina Simmons at https://cristinapsimmons.com
https://www.instagram.com/cristinapsimmons/
This episode of Asking for a Friend is sponsored by Better Help. Get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://betterhelp.com/askingforafriend
_________________________________________
Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling run-down. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan
Have questions about Faster Way? Please email me at:
mfolanfasterway@gmail.com
After trying countless products that overpromised and underdelivered, RIMAN skincare finally gave me real, visible results—restoring my glow, firmness, and confidence in my skin at 61. RIMAN Korea's #1 Skincare Line - https://michelefolan.riman.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michele Folan (00:00):
Let's be honest, midlife can feel like a lot.
Shifting roles, changing bodies, aging parents, and sometimes
you just need a safe space totalk it all through.
That's where therapy comes in.
It's not a sign of weakness,it's an investment in your
well-being and with BetterHelp,getting started is easier than
(00:21):
ever.
Betterhelp is entirely online,so it works with your schedule.
You fill out a briefquestionnaire and get matched
with a licensed therapist in aslittle as 48 hours, and if it's
not the right fit, you canswitch.
No awkward breakup required.
Give yourself permission tofeel better.
Visit betterhelpcom.
(00:42):
Forward slash asking for afriend to get 10% off your first
month of therapy.
That's BetterHelpcom.
Forward slash asking for afriend.
Health, wellness, fitness andeverything in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
(01:05):
I'm your host, Michelle Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
What if healing isn't aboutpushing through but about
finally coming home to yourself?
Today's guest, Cristina Simmons, knows this journey intimately,
from the depths of grief andtrauma to a powerful personal
(01:26):
transformation.
Cristina has become a fierceadvocate for trauma-informed
wellness, especially for womenwho have spent far too long in
survival mode.
A mom, an occupationaltherapist, a faster-weight coach
and soon-to-be-published authorof Eat your Feelings.
Cristina combines livedexperience with practical tools
that help women heal emotionally, physically and spiritually on
(01:50):
their own terms and in their owntime.
In this episode, we unpack howCristina's health journey,
including joining Faster Way,became a key to her emotional
recovery, what inspired her towrite such an honest and
empowering book, and how she'shelping women everywhere rise
again.
If you've ever felt like you'reholding it all together on the
(02:11):
outside but unraveling on theinside, give this episode a
listen.
Cristina Simmons, welcome toAsking for a Friend.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is so fun.
Yeah, and I always love to tellthe story of how we met.
So, Cristina and I, at the endof February we're at a Faster
Way coaches meeting and we justhappened to be sitting next to
(02:33):
each other at dinner.
So and I as Cristina, as Ialways say, nothing ever happens
by accident.
There was a reason we were putnext to each other.
We just started chatting it up.
You started telling me aboutyour story, and what did I say
when we were sitting there atdinner?
That you'd have to have me onthe podcast.
(02:54):
Yeah, right.
And then this week you hadposted something on Instagram
about your book coming tofruition here in July and I was
like okay, timing's perfect,let's do it now.
I'm so thankful and grateful.
Well, we're really happy tohave you here and your bio is
(03:14):
very powerful, and I would loveit if you could kind of take us
back to the moment when yourhealing journey truly began.
Cristina Simmons (03:24):
So it's probably not going to be an
answer you're thinking it wouldbe, but it actually started when
my husband was unfaithful, andI often say that that was the
turning point for everything,because it really caused me to
take ownership of my part in ourmarriage.
(03:46):
We've been married 26 years nowand we're fully restored and
never been happier.
But obviously there was a timewhen that was not the truth,
because we had been through somuch and we stopped
communicating with each other.
But when he was unfaithful andthen told me which he didn't
have to because the affair hadbeen over for a while I realized
(04:09):
that I was not taking care ofme and so I couldn't take care
of him.
I couldn't take care of ourkids, I couldn't do my job as
well as I should be able to, andI wasn't processing anything
that we had been through.
I was burying everything.
I was acting like it didn'thappen, and you can't live that
(04:31):
way.
It's all going to come bubblingto the surface, and so that's
what happened.
Michele Folan (04:37):
So what prompted him to come clean about the
affair?
Cristina Simmons (04:42):
Jesus convicted him actually, which is
another big part of our story.
He had kind of lost his way inour faith journey and he just
came to me when he startedacting very strange actually,
and I was and I write about thisin the book I was actually
really sick, I had contractedstrep throat and so I had like
(05:06):
102 fever.
I could not barely lift my headup off the bed.
And then he comes and tells methat he had been unfaithful to
me.
And it was just, it was likethis and I could I literally
could not speak, and of course,course, after the whole thing
happened, we kind of joked thathe picked that day to tell me
(05:27):
because he knew that I couldn'tlike physically kill him because
I couldn't even get up off thechair, or at least like have,
like serious words for him rightwell, but I think that not
being able to speak actuallyhelped me really process what
was going on, and so I couldsort of step back and take a
beat and say okay, this happened, he's sorry, he knew that it
(05:52):
wasn't right, he's now found hisway back to his faith, and so
together we can walk the journeyforward.
So that's what we started to do.
Michele Folan (06:01):
Now you mentioned some things that were kind of a
precursor to you, kind oflosing yourself.
What were those things early on?
Cristina Simmons (06:11):
Well, we were married pretty young, and when I
was 25, we were pregnant withour first baby girl and we
learned that we carried a veryrare gene that made very sick
babies, and so our firstdaughter only lived for three
days, and then we subsequentlylost a second daughter and then
a son.
Oh gosh, yeah.
(06:33):
So now we've been very blessed.
We lost two girls and a boy, weadopted two girls and a boy.
So God gave us back everythingthat we lost.
But through that journey ofloss, obviously I never really
processed the grief from ourfirst loss.
Then I had a miscarriage, thenwe lost the next one.
(06:56):
It was just compounding and Icame from a childhood of trauma,
came from a childhood of trauma, and so I didn't come into our
marriage with coping skills,strategies, anything, because my
family didn't really talk aboutthe bad things that happened.
You know what I mean?
(07:17):
I was sort of taught as a kidthat we sort of shoved those
down and if we don't talk aboutthem they go away.
So that's what I did in myadulthood and it did not work
out very well for me.
Michele Folan (07:26):
Yeah, but you know what, though, that was kind
of the era in which we grew up.
Yes, you know, suck it up, wedon't talk about it, we don't
talk about outside of the fourwalls of the house, we don't
talk about these things, right?
There was the pride and all ofthat.
That kind of goes with notsharing family issues outside of
(07:46):
the home.
Cristina Simmons (07:47):
Yeah, because from the outside, everything
looked perfect and I think, likeyou said, I think a lot of us
that grew up in that era that'show it was, and as children, we
were taught to, you know, beseen and not heard.
So I always felt like I didn'thave a voice growing up.
A lot of different things.
All of these are in the book.
Michele Folan (08:06):
And then okay, so you've navigated the grief and
trauma, and then motherhood isthere, shining right in your
face.
How did those experiencesreshape your view on all of this
?
Cristina Simmons (08:21):
So our girls were born with cocaine in their
system and they were preemiesand they were twins, and so
right out of the gate we weredealing with all of these things
and, never having had my ownchild before that, I didn't know
any different, but it was lotsof sleepless nights and, looking
(08:41):
back, they had withdrawalsymptoms that I didn't even
realize.
That's what they were at thetime, and so, like I said, I
hadn't really processed my grieffrom losing my biological
children, and so I became veryanxious about my girls and was
one of those moms where I justthought that my girls were going
(09:02):
to be taken too.
Like that's kind of how I livedtheir childhood, was always
thinking that something wasgoing to happen to them too,
because that's what I knew frombefore.
And then, when our son camealong, he was diagnosed with
autism at the age of four andvery sensory, very dysregulated,
kicked out of every schooldaycare he was ever in, and so
(09:25):
that in itself was a trauma.
I kind of had PTSD from my cellphone ringing because the school
called me more than they didn't.
I mean, it was every day thatthey were calling me, sometimes
several times a day, and I wasdysregulated myself.
My nervous system was shot, Ihad fibromyalgia symptoms, I had
(09:45):
chronic pain, I had all kindsof gut problems, and then trying
to parent a dysregulated childwhen I'm dysregulated, you can
imagine that that didn't go sowell either.
So it was just.
It was a rough road, for sure.
Michele Folan (10:03):
All right.
So how did supporting yourson's needs lead to you
discovering your own unmet needsas a woman and a mother?
Cristina Simmons (10:12):
So at the age of 39, I decided to go back to
school to be an occupationaltherapist, because we were
having trouble finding help forhim and I had the other two
young children and anybody thatwas in.
Well, we didn't have anybody inour area and I kept calling
places.
Everybody had a wait list aslong as your arm.
(10:33):
I was going to have to drivehim an hour away, and so I
thought I'm just going to.
I need to know how his brainworks.
I need to learn more, and Ilove education and I hated the
job that I had, so it all seemedlike a fine idea at the time.
It was very hard, but I learnedthrough occupational therapy.
(10:56):
I love the holistic approach ofit, and so I learned that not
only was he dysregulated, but sowas I, because I did not
realize that what he wasexperiencing.
I was experiencing some of thesame things, and so I learned
how to regulate both of ournervous systems so that we could
(11:16):
get along better, Wow.
Michele Folan (11:19):
So okay, I got to back up because now I've got
all these other questions that Ididn't think I was going to ask
you.
But okay, first of all, how arethe girls doing now?
Cristina Simmons (11:29):
So I love my girls.
They're the best girls.
They are 21, and they arehaving trouble finding their way
into adulthood.
Okay, and I have come torealize now, especially through
writing the book, that Iprojected a ton of my anxiety
(11:49):
onto them in their childhood.
And that's why I want to talkabout this now, because I wish
that somebody had told me thatthat is a thing.
Yeah, because they are veryhigh anxiety now and like one
still doesn't drive, and sothey're trying to figure out
(12:11):
what kind of career they want,and it's just, it's a lot.
We're still navigating that, sothat's going to be probably a
whole nother story.
I may be able to write a wholenother book on that later down
the road.
Michele Folan (12:25):
Launching children after.
Here's the thing.
Cristina Simmons (12:30):
At least now you know, and you can't
necessarily you know, fix thepast, but you can move forward.
And it's that awareness piece,right?
Am I correct in saying that?
Right?
Yes, well, and I really try tobe an example to them and I've
(12:50):
been talking more and I probablyneed to do this more with them,
but talking more about theanxiety and when these things
comes up and so that we canopenly talk about it, because,
like I said, that wasn'tsomething that we've always done
.
If we felt uneasy aboutsomething, then we didn't talk
about it.
So this is going to make moreof those opportunities to talk
about the things that arebothering us.
Michele Folan (13:13):
Yeah, and also teaching them coping skills,
because we all need those.
We all need coping skills foranxiety, whether it's breath
work or grounding or just goingout for a walk, whatever, but
it's learning the cues andlearning when you need to step
away, right, yes, and then howis your son doing?
(13:35):
How old is he now?
He?
Cristina Simmons (13:36):
is 16 and he is doing fantastic actually, and
not that my girls are not doingfantastic.
I don't want to take away frommy girls.
They are awesome kids and theyhave done a lot of raising my
kids' kids.
That has been one of their jobs, and so I thought if they can
take care of and keep tinyhumans alive, then I've done
(14:00):
something right.
But my son so our son he was inan autism school for four years
and one of the things that Ilearned about the whole
entrepreneurial and self youknow this, this space that we're
in is people often say that ifyou're the smartest person in
(14:21):
the room, you need to find a newroom, and so he was the
smartest kid in the room when hewas at that autism school.
They weren't giving him theacademics that he needed, and he
was very capable, he is highfunctioning and so I decided
just this past year to take himout of that school and put him
into public high school, whichterrified me oh, I bet, Because
(14:47):
just public high school ingeneral, if you're a typical kid
but he is quirky and awkward,especially in social situations,
and I was worried that hewouldn't be able to handle a
full caseload of studies and allthe things that go with
navigating that.
But we just finished the schoolyear this week and he did
(15:09):
fantastic.
He was able to keep up witheverything he was able to test
out of most of his end-of-yeartesting and they even invited
him to be in the National HonorSociety.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, yeah, he's, and it'snot been without struggles.
Don't think it's been acakewalk, but just really,
(15:31):
really proud of him and of meAlso, just listening to that
little voice and having thecourage to take him out, to give
him those opportunities.
Because that's one of thethings I regret with my girls is
I sheltered them and so Ididn't let them have their full
independence, and I think thatthat made a big difference in
(15:51):
their adulthood now too.
Michele Folan (15:52):
Yeah, it's not too late, right, I know it's not
too late.
We say that all the time asbeing faster way coaches and
that's true, it doesn't matter,you just got to move forward,
that's right.
I do want to talk a little bitabout Faster Way.
Yeah, how did you discoverFaster Way and what made you say
(16:14):
yes to even joining the programinitially?
Cristina Simmons (16:17):
So having all of this compounded trauma.
I fully believe, and I wouldlike to do more research on this
, but I think that it threw meinto early menopause, because I
went into menopause in my 30s,but at that time I had no idea
what was going on and my doctorswere all telling me that I was
(16:39):
too young.
You know, your blood work isquote unquote normal, and so I
had to really keep pushing andasking questions and doing
research on my own, and I cameacross my coach on Instagram and
from I started actually startedwatching a few different ladies
that were in like my same agegroup and they were talking
(17:03):
about all the things that I wasgoing through, and so I was just
watching for a little while,and then I happened upon an
online summit where two of thosewomen that I had been watching
were both in that summit, and soI did the online summit and
paid for the VIP upgrade and allthe things and then watched all
(17:23):
the interviews and then decidedto go with my coach.
And I'm kind of one of thosegirls that when I get into
something, I go full bore.
You know what I mean, yeah, Iknow what you mean, yeah.
So I just took it and ran withit.
But I've been in the fitnessand nutrition space for like 15
(17:46):
years.
I was a Beachbody coach andI've been in all the multi-level
marketing you know take all thesupplements.
And so I mean I had, I hadtracked macros before I had
tried out intermittent fasting,but because of all the hormone
issues I was having, none of itwas working, and so until I
found like all the pieces to fittogether, then that's when it
(18:12):
finally all came together for me.
Michele Folan (18:14):
In what ways, then, do you think Faster Way
has become more than just ahealth program for you?
How did it support youemotionally and spiritually as
well, supports you emotionallyand spiritually as well.
Cristina Simmons (18:28):
Yeah, the community is unmatched.
I have and I've been in severaltypes, these types of programs
and these types of communities,and I've never been in one where
there's no competition, becauseand I have, you know, coaches
in my area and coaches all overthe country, and none of the not
one coach that I've met hasever been like there's not
(18:50):
enough.
there's not enough clients orbeing afraid that you're going
to take one of their clients, oryou know what I mean.
Like everybody's so supportive,gives away all their tips and
tricks and you know they're not.
They're not trying to hideanything, I mean it's just a
very open and loving communityand I've been working on
(19:11):
building new relationships andnew circles, and the Faster Way
really helped me to realize thatthat is one of the things that
I was missing.
I was in the wrong circle offriends, the wrong groups, so
I'm really thankful for them forthat.
Michele Folan (19:31):
So, in light of that, what do you need?
What lights you up in terms ofa friend group?
What would make a differencefor you?
Cristina Simmons (19:43):
I love deep connection and maybe it's our
age, I don't know, but I'm sodone with, like surface level
small talk you know what I mean.
Like I want to connect on adeeper level.
I want to have friends thathave big dreams, like I have,
and their heart lights up whenthey're able to help other women
Like those are the groups thatI'm in now.
(20:04):
We're all wanting to lift eachother up and help each other and
see what big things that we canaccomplish.
Michele Folan (20:12):
You know, many women feel stuck right and stuck
in survival mode we talked alittle bit about that where
you're just.
The anxiety comes from being ina place where you're just
trying to get through the day.
I'm curious how liftingyourself out of that space
(20:33):
physically affect your emotionalhealing.
Cristina Simmons (20:36):
So getting fit and addressing the outside, so
that was part of what washappening when my husband was
unfaithful.
I had gained a lot of weightbecause I was depressed, and I
was a functioning depressedperson.
I wasn't a lay around in bedtype of girl when I was
depressed, but I was also verydisassociated and, like you said
(21:02):
, in that survival mode, just inthat fog all the time, and so I
wasn't watching what I waseating, I wasn't drinking enough
water, I wasn't taking care ofanything, and so I think that me
really looking at more, how hewas seeing me, and then, because
for a long time I didn't lookin the mirror, and if I did I
(21:26):
wasn't really looking at me, Inever looked at myself in the
eyes.
That was something I always hada really hard time with because
I didn't love myself, and so Ihad to figure out how to.
And it's not just one thing,and I think that's where people
get stuck to like everybodywants a magic pill.
I mean, you've got to work onyourself mentally, physically
(21:50):
and spiritually in order for itto really come together.
But lifting heavy weights, Ilearned, also regulated my
nervous system, so I almostbecame kind of addicted to the
gym, became kind of addicted tothe gym and that was where I
found another community as well.
I loved my gym friends andgoing to the gym and working out
(22:16):
, and that's where I started.
And then, as I got older, Ifigured out that those workouts
were too hard on my body.
That was another reason why Iwas looking for something else,
and I love the Faster Waysworkouts because they're perfect
for how we do everything.
But I also found like workoutclothes the workout clothes that
I wore that made a difference,because they made me feel strong
(22:38):
and pretty feminine, but stillstrong, like I could lift.
Yeah, I could lift just as muchas the guys were lifting.
So, yeah, it all works together.
Michele Folan (22:51):
It isn't it amazing?
It's like buying a new lipstickor a new tube of mascara.
Having new workout clothes canalso give you kind of that
confidence to you know, feelkind of good about what you're
doing, and I, I don't know.
I just think there's thatmental aspect of it, right?
Yes, will you share a moment,though, when you realized that
(23:14):
your body was finally startingto feel safe again?
I think?
Cristina Simmons (23:18):
when I started showing up on social media and
I wasn't worried about whatpeople were going to say,
Because I know that's a thingfor a lot of people, and that
was when I first started writingthe book I was super nervous
because I thought I'm puttingall of my junk out into the
(23:40):
world and now everybody's goingto read it and everybody's going
to know it.
Everybody's going to read itand everybody's going to know it
.
But I started realizing that metelling my story was going to
help other women not feel shame,not feel unseen, not feel
unheard, and so I had to takemyself out of the equation.
(24:01):
It's not about me anymore.
It's about helping others tofind themselves.
Michele Folan (24:08):
I love that.
That's quite an epiphany.
Yeah, I've been doing a lot ofwork, Cristina.
We're going to take a quickbreak and when we get back I
want to talk about your book Eatyour Feelings.
You listen to the podcast.
You might even see my reels onInstagram.
Perhaps you've even clicked alink or two, but you still
haven't made a move.
You're still waiting for theright time to start.
(24:31):
But here's the truth there's noperfect time, but there is
today, and if you're feelingstuck, low on energy and like
your body isn't responding theway it used to, you are not
alone.
That's why I coach women throughFaster Way.
We start with the basicsfueling your body with real food
, building strength and finallylearning how to support your
(24:53):
metabolism instead of fightingit.
No extremes, no restriction,just a smarter, proven approach
for women over 50.
If you're even a little curious, click the link in the show
notes or shoot me an email.
I'm happy to chat with nopressure, but maybe it's time to
stop watching and start doing.
(25:14):
Let's do this together.
Okay, we are back.
I want to talk about your book.
You said right before the breakhow it's a vulnerable position
to be in to put yourself outthere.
It's really a very clever andhonest title.
(25:35):
Where did you come up with thename for the book?
Cristina Simmons (25:39):
So I realized that that is exactly what I had
been doing all of these yearswas eating my feelings.
I definitely wasn't processingthem.
So, and I started to reallyrealize that when I felt a
certain way, I wanted a certaintype of food.
(26:00):
When I'm anxious, I wantsomething crunchy and salty, and
I think that's that input tothe nervous system, because a
lot of kids you know, I work inthe school system now and a lot
of the kids that have they'realways wanting to chew on
something, but that sort ofcalms them, and so of course
(26:21):
there's, you know, a thousanddifferent emotions we can have.
But every time I felt anemotion because I didn't want to
feel it, I would go to thepantry.
So that's where the title ofthe book came from.
Michele Folan (26:32):
Well, I love the title and it's perfect for this
topic.
You know, was writing the bookcathartic or triggering?
Yeah, or both, yes both.
Cristina Simmons (26:44):
Okay, it was very cathartic and I realized in
the process that there weresome things that I hadn't dealt
with, things that I thought Ihad, and some of those things
kind of came bubbling up to thesurface.
And, of course, the hardestchapters to write were the ones
about our biological childrenthat we lost because I had been
(27:07):
avoiding that for so long.
And our first daughter wouldhave been let's see, this is she
would have been 23.
And around her birthday, likemy body still remembers and I
can have those feelings ofdepression and anxiety and like
(27:29):
sometimes I won't even realizethat what the date is.
And then and I'll be feelingthat way and I'm like what is
wrong with me?
And then I'll look at thecalendar and I'm like, oh, it's
March.
But that's why you've really gotto process these, because it
sits in your body and it festersand I had destroyed my gut
(27:51):
health.
That was another reason why Ineeded a program like the Faster
Way, because I, just when yourgut is leaking you know
everything's inflamed, my jointshurt.
Like I said, I had all thatchronic pain and that makes you
not want to work out.
It makes you not.
I mean, it's just a viciouscycle.
Michele Folan (28:11):
I think everybody's you know we we can't
minimize the gut brainconnection.
You know, when our guts are offit can spiral with with so many
things.
So I'm glad that you havegotten that under control,
because that's kind of the firststep right is getting the gut
healed before you can really doanything else.
(28:34):
Yes, my next question,christina, would be how did you
balance the deeply personalparts of your story with the
need to provide tangible toolsfor other women?
Because this couldn't have beenjust a story of you.
You wanted this to be a helpbook for other women.
Cristina Simmons (28:55):
Yeah, I started really thinking about
how I navigated all of this andI realized that I had been using
frameworks, but I just hadn'twritten them down, and so
there's actually four frameworksin the book and so you can kind
(29:16):
of the way that I designed them, you can kind of put them to
any situation in your life.
Of course some of them aregoing to work in different
situations better than others,but my main one is eat, which is
E-A-T, which obviously I havean eat and I have a food, so
obviously it goes kind of withthe eat your feelings thing.
(29:37):
But eat is educate, accept andtransform.
Because I had used education asa big part of my healing,
mostly because I love to learnand I know that's not
everybody's thing.
But I don't think you canreally tackle a hard or a big
situation without fullyunderstanding what you're up
(29:59):
against.
You need to have someunderstanding and some deeper
education, especially if it's abig, you know, if it's cancer or
like my son with autism.
That's, my biggest takeaway forthe Eid was him, because I
needed to understand how hisbrain worked so that I could
better help him.
But so then, once you educateyourself, then you can accept
(30:26):
the things that you can't change, because there's in every
situation.
There should be something outof your control, and so when you
accept that this is what I cancontrol and this is what I can't
, then you can start totransform the things that you
can into beautiful things, whichhappened with my new career and
(30:48):
me being able to help otherfamilies with autistic kids and
working in the school system andin my community.
So that's why I came up withthe EAT framework.
Michele Folan (31:00):
Oh, I love it.
And, like you said, as I'msitting here, I'm like, oh my
gosh, we could apply this to somany things in life.
This isn't just dealing withkids or, you know, trauma issues
.
It could be really anythingRight?
What do you hope, christina,that your readers will feel
differently about or dodifferently after reading?
(31:21):
Eat your Feelings.
Cristina Simmons (31:23):
I just really hope that they will take a look
at themselves and really startto cultivate that self-love.
I think women have a reallyhard time with that, and we're
so dedicated and focused onhelping everyone else that we
get lost in the equation.
(31:44):
Because that's really whathappened with me.
I had lost my identity.
You know I was a mom and I wasa wife, but I had no idea who I
was.
So that was what I needed tofigure out, and now I can help
other people do that, I hope.
Michele Folan (32:03):
How do you define sustainable healing?
What does that look like forwomen in midlife juggling a
million things?
Cristina Simmons (32:12):
It's a daily practice, and we say practice
because every day is differentand there's always going to be a
challenge.
So I think you really need tohave some.
I know a lot of people talkabout non-negotiables, but I
think you do need to have somethings in place that you don't
let slide.
You know you need to have somepractices and some tools that
(32:36):
help you to deal with, so thatyou're prepared to deal with a
challenge when it comes, not youknow, reacting in the situation
.
Michele Folan (32:46):
Sometimes easier said than done, For sure.
And then you've also said thatyour work is trauma-informed and
we haven't really touched onthat a whole lot on the podcast.
And for someone who doesn'tfully understand that term, what
does that mean and why doesthat matter?
Cristina Simmons (33:05):
Because I have lived it.
You know I'm not coaching orgiving strategies or giving
tools that I haven't used myselfand that didn't bring me
through trauma.
So that's what trauma informedjust means that I have lived it,
I have been through it.
There's nothing really thatsurprises me anymore.
(33:27):
You're not going to shock me.
But just that I've had thelived experience makes me an
expert on being traumatized,because that's how I lived like
two decades of my life.
Michele Folan (33:41):
Right, oh gosh.
Well, you seem like you'redoing really well right now.
Does the excitement of the bookand just talking about it is
this kind of making you have alittle different perspective on
things?
Cristina Simmons (33:58):
I think it's just now that I can.
I love to help other women andso, like I said, it was so long
that I was kind of muckingthrough everything and it's
almost like that fog has reallybeen lifted and now I see a
bigger purpose in it.
I've always said thateverything happens for a reason,
(34:18):
and so I've often said beforeyears ago, I've been talking
about writing this book for 10years and I kept telling my
husband I said we haven't beenthrough all of this not to help
other people.
So, and I think that's reallywhy we're here and God told me
to do it, so I'm also beingobedient.
Michele Folan (34:40):
Good girl.
And then I always ask this ofevery guest on the podcast.
You know you speak aboutspiritual, physical and
emotional healing, but what'sone non-negotiable self-care
practice that keeps you grounded?
Cristina Simmons (34:57):
I use breath work a lot.
I mean, my workouts are prettynon-negotiable for me.
I need to work out on aschedule, but I've really been
using breath work.
It really calms the nervoussystem and it does I know.
I know there's a lot of talkabout breath work and there's
many different counts and allthat kind of thing, but I think
you just need to find the onethat works for you.
So I do box breathing, which ispretty simple, but it really
(35:21):
does sort of calm you and bringsyou back into your body.
And that's what I had so muchtrouble with all those years was
I was so disassociated, so thathelps me to get grounded again.
Michele Folan (35:33):
Does that work at night, at three in the morning?
Cristina Simmons (35:36):
Yes.
Michele Folan (35:40):
It can.
Yeah, I do that.
I was just wondering if thatworks for you, because I do that
.
That's kind of my thing If I dowake up at 3.30 in the morning,
usually to go to the bathroom,but then I start ruminating
about everything and so I do mybreathing then.
So I was just curious if you'redoing the same thing.
Yes, all right.
(36:00):
So, christina Simmons, what isnext for you after the book
launch?
Where is your energy headed for?
Cristina Simmons (36:09):
the rest of the year.
I want more speakingengagements.
I'm feeling called to speak onmore stages and to help as many
people as I can.
So that's that's kind of wherethe whole book thing came.
I mean, I've, like I said, I'vebeen wanting to write the book
for a long time, but having thebook is another gateway to being
(36:30):
on stage, which also terrifiesme.
But, like I said, it's notabout me, it's about helping
other people.
Michele Folan (36:36):
Yeah, and you know what?
You're the expert.
It's your story and no one cantell it better than you can, and
so I wish you the best with thebook and you and I will
definitely be connected throughfaster way.
But, christina, thank you foryour bravery and sharing your
(37:01):
story and putting it out therein print, because I know that is
never easy.
Cristina Simmons (37:06):
Thank you for the platform.
I'm so grateful for theconversation.
It's been really fun.
Thanks for being here.
Michele Folan (37:12):
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
Please rate and review the showwhere you listen to the podcast
.
And did you know that Askingfor a Friend is available now to
listen on YouTube?
You can subscribe to thepodcast there as well.
Your support is appreciated andit helps others find the show.
Thank you.
Let's be honest, midlife can feel like a lot.
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Health, wellness, fitness andeverything in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
(01:05):
I'm your host, Michelle Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
What if healing isn't aboutpushing through but about
finally coming home to yourself?
Today's guest, Cristina Simmons, knows this journey intimately,
from the depths of grief andtrauma to a powerful personal
(01:26):
transformation.
Cristina has become a fierceadvocate for trauma-informed
wellness, especially for womenwho have spent far too long in
survival mode.
A mom, an occupationaltherapist, a faster-weight coach
and soon-to-be-published authorof Eat your Feelings.
Cristina combines livedexperience with practical tools
that help women heal emotionally, physically and spiritually on
(01:50):
their own terms and in their owntime.
In this episode, we unpack howCristina's health journey,
including joining Faster Way,became a key to her emotional
recovery, what inspired her towrite such an honest and
empowering book, and how she'shelping women everywhere rise
again.
If you've ever felt like you'reholding it all together on the
(02:11):
outside but unraveling on theinside, give this episode a
listen.
Cristina Simmons, welcome toAsking for a Friend.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is so fun.
Yeah, and I always love to tellthe story of how we met.
So, Cristina and I, at the endof February we're at a Faster
Way coaches meeting and we justhappened to be sitting next to
(02:33):
each other at dinner.
So and I as Cristina, as Ialways say, nothing ever happens
by accident.
There was a reason we were putnext to each other.
We just started chatting it up.
You started telling me aboutyour story, and what did I say
when we were sitting there atdinner?
That you'd have to have me onthe podcast.
(02:54):
Yeah, right.
And then this week you hadposted something on Instagram
about your book coming tofruition here in July and I was
like okay, timing's perfect,let's do it now.
I'm so thankful and grateful.
Well, we're really happy tohave you here and your bio is
(03:14):
very powerful, and I would loveit if you could kind of take us
back to the moment when yourhealing journey truly began.
Cristina Simmons (03:24):
So it's probably not going to be an
answer you're thinking it wouldbe, but it actually started when
my husband was unfaithful, andI often say that that was the
turning point for everything,because it really caused me to
take ownership of my part in ourmarriage.
(03:46):
We've been married 26 years nowand we're fully restored and
never been happier.
But obviously there was a timewhen that was not the truth,
because we had been through somuch and we stopped
communicating with each other.
But when he was unfaithful andthen told me which he didn't
have to because the affair hadbeen over for a while I realized
(04:09):
that I was not taking care ofme and so I couldn't take care
of him.
I couldn't take care of ourkids, I couldn't do my job as
well as I should be able to, andI wasn't processing anything
that we had been through.
I was burying everything.
I was acting like it didn'thappen, and you can't live that
(04:31):
way.
It's all going to come bubblingto the surface, and so that's
what happened.
Michele Folan (04:37):
So what prompted him to come clean about the
affair?
Cristina Simmons (04:42):
Jesus convicted him actually, which is
another big part of our story.
He had kind of lost his way inour faith journey and he just
came to me when he startedacting very strange actually,
and I was and I write about thisin the book I was actually
really sick, I had contractedstrep throat and so I had like
(05:06):
102 fever.
I could not barely lift my headup off the bed.
And then he comes and tells methat he had been unfaithful to
me.
And it was just, it was likethis and I could I literally
could not speak, and of course,course, after the whole thing
happened, we kind of joked thathe picked that day to tell me
(05:27):
because he knew that I couldn'tlike physically kill him because
I couldn't even get up off thechair, or at least like have,
like serious words for him rightwell, but I think that not
being able to speak actuallyhelped me really process what
was going on, and so I couldsort of step back and take a
beat and say okay, this happened, he's sorry, he knew that it
(05:52):
wasn't right, he's now found hisway back to his faith, and so
together we can walk the journeyforward.
So that's what we started to do.
Michele Folan (06:01):
Now you mentioned some things that were kind of a
precursor to you, kind oflosing yourself.
What were those things early on?
Cristina Simmons (06:11):
Well, we were married pretty young, and when I
was 25, we were pregnant withour first baby girl and we
learned that we carried a veryrare gene that made very sick
babies, and so our firstdaughter only lived for three
days, and then we subsequentlylost a second daughter and then
a son.
Oh gosh, yeah.
(06:33):
So now we've been very blessed.
We lost two girls and a boy, weadopted two girls and a boy.
So God gave us back everythingthat we lost.
But through that journey ofloss, obviously I never really
processed the grief from ourfirst loss.
Then I had a miscarriage, thenwe lost the next one.
(06:56):
It was just compounding and Icame from a childhood of trauma,
came from a childhood of trauma, and so I didn't come into our
marriage with coping skills,strategies, anything, because my
family didn't really talk aboutthe bad things that happened.
You know what I mean?
(07:17):
I was sort of taught as a kidthat we sort of shoved those
down and if we don't talk aboutthem they go away.
So that's what I did in myadulthood and it did not work
out very well for me.
Michele Folan (07:26):
Yeah, but you know what, though, that was kind
of the era in which we grew up.
Yes, you know, suck it up, wedon't talk about it, we don't
talk about outside of the fourwalls of the house, we don't
talk about these things, right?
There was the pride and all ofthat.
That kind of goes with notsharing family issues outside of
(07:46):
the home.
Cristina Simmons (07:47):
Yeah, because from the outside, everything
looked perfect and I think, likeyou said, I think a lot of us
that grew up in that era that'show it was, and as children, we
were taught to, you know, beseen and not heard.
So I always felt like I didn'thave a voice growing up.
A lot of different things.
All of these are in the book.
Michele Folan (08:06):
And then okay, so you've navigated the grief and
trauma, and then motherhood isthere, shining right in your
face.
How did those experiencesreshape your view on all of this
?
Cristina Simmons (08:21):
So our girls were born with cocaine in their
system and they were preemiesand they were twins, and so
right out of the gate we weredealing with all of these things
and, never having had my ownchild before that, I didn't know
any different, but it was lotsof sleepless nights and, looking
(08:41):
back, they had withdrawalsymptoms that I didn't even
realize.
That's what they were at thetime, and so, like I said, I
hadn't really processed my grieffrom losing my biological
children, and so I became veryanxious about my girls and was
one of those moms where I justthought that my girls were going
(09:02):
to be taken too.
Like that's kind of how I livedtheir childhood, was always
thinking that something wasgoing to happen to them too,
because that's what I knew frombefore.
And then, when our son camealong, he was diagnosed with
autism at the age of four andvery sensory, very dysregulated,
kicked out of every schooldaycare he was ever in, and so
(09:25):
that in itself was a trauma.
I kind of had PTSD from my cellphone ringing because the school
called me more than they didn't.
I mean, it was every day thatthey were calling me, sometimes
several times a day, and I wasdysregulated myself.
My nervous system was shot, Ihad fibromyalgia symptoms, I had
(09:45):
chronic pain, I had all kindsof gut problems, and then trying
to parent a dysregulated childwhen I'm dysregulated, you can
imagine that that didn't go sowell either.
So it was just.
It was a rough road, for sure.
Michele Folan (10:03):
All right.
So how did supporting yourson's needs lead to you
discovering your own unmet needsas a woman and a mother?
Cristina Simmons (10:12):
So at the age of 39, I decided to go back to
school to be an occupationaltherapist, because we were
having trouble finding help forhim and I had the other two
young children and anybody thatwas in.
Well, we didn't have anybody inour area and I kept calling
places.
Everybody had a wait list aslong as your arm.
(10:33):
I was going to have to drivehim an hour away, and so I
thought I'm just going to.
I need to know how his brainworks.
I need to learn more, and Ilove education and I hated the
job that I had, so it all seemedlike a fine idea at the time.
It was very hard, but I learnedthrough occupational therapy.
(10:56):
I love the holistic approach ofit, and so I learned that not
only was he dysregulated, but sowas I, because I did not
realize that what he wasexperiencing.
I was experiencing some of thesame things, and so I learned
how to regulate both of ournervous systems so that we could
(11:16):
get along better, Wow.
Michele Folan (11:19):
So okay, I got to back up because now I've got
all these other questions that Ididn't think I was going to ask
you.
But okay, first of all, how arethe girls doing now?
Cristina Simmons (11:29):
So I love my girls.
They're the best girls.
They are 21, and they arehaving trouble finding their way
into adulthood.
Okay, and I have come torealize now, especially through
writing the book, that Iprojected a ton of my anxiety
(11:49):
onto them in their childhood.
And that's why I want to talkabout this now, because I wish
that somebody had told me thatthat is a thing.
Yeah, because they are veryhigh anxiety now and like one
still doesn't drive, and sothey're trying to figure out
(12:11):
what kind of career they want,and it's just, it's a lot.
We're still navigating that, sothat's going to be probably a
whole nother story.
I may be able to write a wholenother book on that later down
the road.
Michele Folan (12:25):
Launching children after.
Here's the thing.
Cristina Simmons (12:30):
At least now you know, and you can't
necessarily you know, fix thepast, but you can move forward.
And it's that awareness piece,right?
Am I correct in saying that?
Right?
Yes, well, and I really try tobe an example to them and I've
(12:50):
been talking more and I probablyneed to do this more with them,
but talking more about theanxiety and when these things
comes up and so that we canopenly talk about it, because,
like I said, that wasn'tsomething that we've always done
.
If we felt uneasy aboutsomething, then we didn't talk
about it.
So this is going to make moreof those opportunities to talk
about the things that arebothering us.
Michele Folan (13:13):
Yeah, and also teaching them coping skills,
because we all need those.
We all need coping skills foranxiety, whether it's breath
work or grounding or just goingout for a walk, whatever, but
it's learning the cues andlearning when you need to step
away, right, yes, and then howis your son doing?
(13:35):
How old is he now?
He?
Cristina Simmons (13:36):
is 16 and he is doing fantastic actually, and
not that my girls are not doingfantastic.
I don't want to take away frommy girls.
They are awesome kids and theyhave done a lot of raising my
kids' kids.
That has been one of their jobs, and so I thought if they can
take care of and keep tinyhumans alive, then I've done
(14:00):
something right.
But my son so our son he was inan autism school for four years
and one of the things that Ilearned about the whole
entrepreneurial and self youknow this, this space that we're
in is people often say that ifyou're the smartest person in
(14:21):
the room, you need to find a newroom, and so he was the
smartest kid in the room when hewas at that autism school.
They weren't giving him theacademics that he needed, and he
was very capable, he is highfunctioning and so I decided
just this past year to take himout of that school and put him
into public high school, whichterrified me oh, I bet, Because
(14:47):
just public high school ingeneral, if you're a typical kid
but he is quirky and awkward,especially in social situations,
and I was worried that hewouldn't be able to handle a
full caseload of studies and allthe things that go with
navigating that.
But we just finished the schoolyear this week and he did
(15:09):
fantastic.
He was able to keep up witheverything he was able to test
out of most of his end-of-yeartesting and they even invited
him to be in the National HonorSociety.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, yeah, he's, and it'snot been without struggles.
Don't think it's been acakewalk, but just really,
(15:31):
really proud of him and of meAlso, just listening to that
little voice and having thecourage to take him out, to give
him those opportunities.
Because that's one of thethings I regret with my girls is
I sheltered them and so Ididn't let them have their full
independence, and I think thatthat made a big difference in
(15:51):
their adulthood now too.
Michele Folan (15:52):
Yeah, it's not too late, right, I know it's not
too late.
We say that all the time asbeing faster way coaches and
that's true, it doesn't matter,you just got to move forward,
that's right.
I do want to talk a little bitabout Faster Way.
Yeah, how did you discoverFaster Way and what made you say
(16:14):
yes to even joining the programinitially?
Cristina Simmons (16:17):
So having all of this compounded trauma.
I fully believe, and I wouldlike to do more research on this
, but I think that it threw meinto early menopause, because I
went into menopause in my 30s,but at that time I had no idea
what was going on and my doctorswere all telling me that I was
(16:39):
too young.
You know, your blood work isquote unquote normal, and so I
had to really keep pushing andasking questions and doing
research on my own, and I cameacross my coach on Instagram and
from I started actually startedwatching a few different ladies
that were in like my same agegroup and they were talking
(17:03):
about all the things that I wasgoing through, and so I was just
watching for a little while,and then I happened upon an
online summit where two of thosewomen that I had been watching
were both in that summit, and soI did the online summit and
paid for the VIP upgrade and allthe things and then watched all
(17:23):
the interviews and then decidedto go with my coach.
And I'm kind of one of thosegirls that when I get into
something, I go full bore.
You know what I mean, yeah, Iknow what you mean, yeah.
So I just took it and ran withit.
But I've been in the fitnessand nutrition space for like 15
(17:46):
years.
I was a Beachbody coach andI've been in all the multi-level
marketing you know take all thesupplements.
And so I mean I had, I hadtracked macros before I had
tried out intermittent fasting,but because of all the hormone
issues I was having, none of itwas working, and so until I
found like all the pieces to fittogether, then that's when it
(18:12):
finally all came together for me.
Michele Folan (18:14):
In what ways, then, do you think Faster Way
has become more than just ahealth program for you?
How did it support youemotionally and spiritually as
well, supports you emotionallyand spiritually as well.
Cristina Simmons (18:28):
Yeah, the community is unmatched.
I have and I've been in severaltypes, these types of programs
and these types of communities,and I've never been in one where
there's no competition, becauseand I have, you know, coaches
in my area and coaches all overthe country, and none of the not
one coach that I've met hasever been like there's not
(18:50):
enough.
there's not enough clients orbeing afraid that you're going
to take one of their clients, oryou know what I mean.
Like everybody's so supportive,gives away all their tips and
tricks and you know they're not.
They're not trying to hideanything, I mean it's just a
very open and loving communityand I've been working on
(19:11):
building new relationships andnew circles, and the Faster Way
really helped me to realize thatthat is one of the things that
I was missing.
I was in the wrong circle offriends, the wrong groups, so
I'm really thankful for them forthat.
Michele Folan (19:31):
So, in light of that, what do you need?
What lights you up in terms ofa friend group?
What would make a differencefor you?
Cristina Simmons (19:43):
I love deep connection and maybe it's our
age, I don't know, but I'm sodone with, like surface level
small talk you know what I mean.
Like I want to connect on adeeper level.
I want to have friends thathave big dreams, like I have,
and their heart lights up whenthey're able to help other women
Like those are the groups thatI'm in now.
(20:04):
We're all wanting to lift eachother up and help each other and
see what big things that we canaccomplish.
Michele Folan (20:12):
You know, many women feel stuck right and stuck
in survival mode we talked alittle bit about that where
you're just.
The anxiety comes from being ina place where you're just
trying to get through the day.
I'm curious how liftingyourself out of that space
(20:33):
physically affect your emotionalhealing.
Cristina Simmons (20:36):
So getting fit and addressing the outside, so
that was part of what washappening when my husband was
unfaithful.
I had gained a lot of weightbecause I was depressed, and I
was a functioning depressedperson.
I wasn't a lay around in bedtype of girl when I was
depressed, but I was also verydisassociated and, like you said
(21:02):
, in that survival mode, just inthat fog all the time, and so I
wasn't watching what I waseating, I wasn't drinking enough
water, I wasn't taking care ofanything, and so I think that me
really looking at more, how hewas seeing me, and then, because
for a long time I didn't lookin the mirror, and if I did I
(21:26):
wasn't really looking at me, Inever looked at myself in the
eyes.
That was something I always hada really hard time with because
I didn't love myself, and so Ihad to figure out how to.
And it's not just one thing,and I think that's where people
get stuck to like everybodywants a magic pill.
I mean, you've got to work onyourself mentally, physically
(21:50):
and spiritually in order for itto really come together.
But lifting heavy weights, Ilearned, also regulated my
nervous system, so I almostbecame kind of addicted to the
gym, became kind of addicted tothe gym and that was where I
found another community as well.
I loved my gym friends andgoing to the gym and working out
(22:16):
, and that's where I started.
And then, as I got older, Ifigured out that those workouts
were too hard on my body.
That was another reason why Iwas looking for something else,
and I love the Faster Waysworkouts because they're perfect
for how we do everything.
But I also found like workoutclothes the workout clothes that
I wore that made a difference,because they made me feel strong
(22:38):
and pretty feminine, but stillstrong, like I could lift.
Yeah, I could lift just as muchas the guys were lifting.
So, yeah, it all works together.
Michele Folan (22:51):
It isn't it amazing?
It's like buying a new lipstickor a new tube of mascara.
Having new workout clothes canalso give you kind of that
confidence to you know, feelkind of good about what you're
doing, and I, I don't know.
I just think there's thatmental aspect of it, right?
Yes, will you share a moment,though, when you realized that
(23:14):
your body was finally startingto feel safe again?
I think?
Cristina Simmons (23:18):
when I started showing up on social media and
I wasn't worried about whatpeople were going to say,
Because I know that's a thingfor a lot of people, and that
was when I first started writingthe book I was super nervous
because I thought I'm puttingall of my junk out into the
(23:40):
world and now everybody's goingto read it and everybody's going
to know it.
Everybody's going to read itand everybody's going to know it
.
But I started realizing that metelling my story was going to
help other women not feel shame,not feel unseen, not feel
unheard, and so I had to takemyself out of the equation.
(24:01):
It's not about me anymore.
It's about helping others tofind themselves.
Michele Folan (24:08):
I love that.
That's quite an epiphany.
Yeah, I've been doing a lot ofwork, Cristina.
We're going to take a quickbreak and when we get back I
want to talk about your book Eatyour Feelings.
You listen to the podcast.
You might even see my reels onInstagram.
Perhaps you've even clicked alink or two, but you still
haven't made a move.
You're still waiting for theright time to start.
(24:31):
But here's the truth there's noperfect time, but there is
today, and if you're feelingstuck, low on energy and like
your body isn't responding theway it used to, you are not
alone.
That's why I coach women throughFaster Way.
We start with the basicsfueling your body with real food
, building strength and finallylearning how to support your
(24:53):
metabolism instead of fightingit.
No extremes, no restriction,just a smarter, proven approach
for women over 50.
If you're even a little curious, click the link in the show
notes or shoot me an email.
I'm happy to chat with nopressure, but maybe it's time to
stop watching and start doing.
(25:14):
Let's do this together.
Okay, we are back.
I want to talk about your book.
You said right before the breakhow it's a vulnerable position
to be in to put yourself outthere.
It's really a very clever andhonest title.
(25:35):
Where did you come up with thename for the book?
Cristina Simmons (25:39):
So I realized that that is exactly what I had
been doing all of these yearswas eating my feelings.
I definitely wasn't processingthem.
So, and I started to reallyrealize that when I felt a
certain way, I wanted a certaintype of food.
(26:00):
When I'm anxious, I wantsomething crunchy and salty, and
I think that's that input tothe nervous system, because a
lot of kids you know, I work inthe school system now and a lot
of the kids that have they'realways wanting to chew on
something, but that sort ofcalms them, and so of course
(26:21):
there's, you know, a thousanddifferent emotions we can have.
But every time I felt anemotion because I didn't want to
feel it, I would go to thepantry.
So that's where the title ofthe book came from.
Michele Folan (26:32):
Well, I love the title and it's perfect for this
topic.
You know, was writing the bookcathartic or triggering?
Yeah, or both, yes both.
Cristina Simmons (26:44):
Okay, it was very cathartic and I realized in
the process that there weresome things that I hadn't dealt
with, things that I thought Ihad, and some of those things
kind of came bubbling up to thesurface.
And, of course, the hardestchapters to write were the ones
about our biological childrenthat we lost because I had been
(27:07):
avoiding that for so long.
And our first daughter wouldhave been let's see, this is she
would have been 23.
And around her birthday, likemy body still remembers and I
can have those feelings ofdepression and anxiety and like
(27:29):
sometimes I won't even realizethat what the date is.
And then and I'll be feelingthat way and I'm like what is
wrong with me?
And then I'll look at thecalendar and I'm like, oh, it's
March.
But that's why you've really gotto process these, because it
sits in your body and it festersand I had destroyed my gut
(27:51):
health.
That was another reason why Ineeded a program like the Faster
Way, because I, just when yourgut is leaking you know
everything's inflamed, my jointshurt.
Like I said, I had all thatchronic pain and that makes you
not want to work out.
It makes you not.
I mean, it's just a viciouscycle.
Michele Folan (28:11):
I think everybody's you know we we can't
minimize the gut brainconnection.
You know, when our guts are offit can spiral with with so many
things.
So I'm glad that you havegotten that under control,
because that's kind of the firststep right is getting the gut
healed before you can really doanything else.
(28:34):
Yes, my next question,christina, would be how did you
balance the deeply personalparts of your story with the
need to provide tangible toolsfor other women?
Because this couldn't have beenjust a story of you.
You wanted this to be a helpbook for other women.
Cristina Simmons (28:55):
Yeah, I started really thinking about
how I navigated all of this andI realized that I had been using
frameworks, but I just hadn'twritten them down, and so
there's actually four frameworksin the book and so you can kind
(29:16):
of the way that I designed them, you can kind of put them to
any situation in your life.
Of course some of them aregoing to work in different
situations better than others,but my main one is eat, which is
E-A-T, which obviously I havean eat and I have a food, so
obviously it goes kind of withthe eat your feelings thing.
(29:37):
But eat is educate, accept andtransform.
Because I had used education asa big part of my healing,
mostly because I love to learnand I know that's not
everybody's thing.
But I don't think you canreally tackle a hard or a big
situation without fullyunderstanding what you're up
(29:59):
against.
You need to have someunderstanding and some deeper
education, especially if it's abig, you know, if it's cancer or
like my son with autism.
That's, my biggest takeaway forthe Eid was him, because I
needed to understand how hisbrain worked so that I could
better help him.
But so then, once you educateyourself, then you can accept
(30:26):
the things that you can't change, because there's in every
situation.
There should be something outof your control, and so when you
accept that this is what I cancontrol and this is what I can't
, then you can start totransform the things that you
can into beautiful things, whichhappened with my new career and
(30:48):
me being able to help otherfamilies with autistic kids and
working in the school system andin my community.
So that's why I came up withthe EAT framework.
Michele Folan (31:00):
Oh, I love it.
And, like you said, as I'msitting here, I'm like, oh my
gosh, we could apply this to somany things in life.
This isn't just dealing withkids or, you know, trauma issues
.
It could be really anythingRight?
What do you hope, christina,that your readers will feel
differently about or dodifferently after reading?
(31:21):
Eat your Feelings.
Cristina Simmons (31:23):
I just really hope that they will take a look
at themselves and really startto cultivate that self-love.
I think women have a reallyhard time with that, and we're
so dedicated and focused onhelping everyone else that we
get lost in the equation.
(31:44):
Because that's really whathappened with me.
I had lost my identity.
You know I was a mom and I wasa wife, but I had no idea who I
was.
So that was what I needed tofigure out, and now I can help
other people do that, I hope.
Michele Folan (32:03):
How do you define sustainable healing?
What does that look like forwomen in midlife juggling a
million things?
Cristina Simmons (32:12):
It's a daily practice, and we say practice
because every day is differentand there's always going to be a
challenge.
So I think you really need tohave some.
I know a lot of people talkabout non-negotiables, but I
think you do need to have somethings in place that you don't
let slide.
You know you need to have somepractices and some tools that
(32:36):
help you to deal with, so thatyou're prepared to deal with a
challenge when it comes, not youknow, reacting in the situation
.
Michele Folan (32:46):
Sometimes easier said than done, For sure.
And then you've also said thatyour work is trauma-informed and
we haven't really touched onthat a whole lot on the podcast.
And for someone who doesn'tfully understand that term, what
does that mean and why doesthat matter?
Cristina Simmons (33:05):
Because I have lived it.
You know I'm not coaching orgiving strategies or giving
tools that I haven't used myselfand that didn't bring me
through trauma.
So that's what trauma informedjust means that I have lived it,
I have been through it.
There's nothing really thatsurprises me anymore.
(33:27):
You're not going to shock me.
But just that I've had thelived experience makes me an
expert on being traumatized,because that's how I lived like
two decades of my life.
Michele Folan (33:41):
Right, oh gosh.
Well, you seem like you'redoing really well right now.
Does the excitement of the bookand just talking about it is
this kind of making you have alittle different perspective on
things?
Cristina Simmons (33:58):
I think it's just now that I can.
I love to help other women andso, like I said, it was so long
that I was kind of muckingthrough everything and it's
almost like that fog has reallybeen lifted and now I see a
bigger purpose in it.
I've always said thateverything happens for a reason,
(34:18):
and so I've often said beforeyears ago, I've been talking
about writing this book for 10years and I kept telling my
husband I said we haven't beenthrough all of this not to help
other people.
So, and I think that's reallywhy we're here and God told me
to do it, so I'm also beingobedient.
Michele Folan (34:40):
Good girl.
And then I always ask this ofevery guest on the podcast.
You know you speak aboutspiritual, physical and
emotional healing, but what'sone non-negotiable self-care
practice that keeps you grounded?
Cristina Simmons (34:57):
I use breath work a lot.
I mean, my workouts are prettynon-negotiable for me.
I need to work out on aschedule, but I've really been
using breath work.
It really calms the nervoussystem and it does I know.
I know there's a lot of talkabout breath work and there's
many different counts and allthat kind of thing, but I think
you just need to find the onethat works for you.
So I do box breathing, which ispretty simple, but it really
(35:21):
does sort of calm you and bringsyou back into your body.
And that's what I had so muchtrouble with all those years was
I was so disassociated, so thathelps me to get grounded again.
Michele Folan (35:33):
Does that work at night, at three in the morning?
Cristina Simmons (35:36):
Yes.
Michele Folan (35:40):
It can.
Yeah, I do that.
I was just wondering if thatworks for you, because I do that
.
That's kind of my thing If I dowake up at 3.30 in the morning,
usually to go to the bathroom,but then I start ruminating
about everything and so I do mybreathing then.
So I was just curious if you'redoing the same thing.
Yes, all right.
(36:00):
So, christina Simmons, what isnext for you after the book
launch?
Where is your energy headed for?
Cristina Simmons (36:09):
the rest of the year.
I want more speakingengagements.
I'm feeling called to speak onmore stages and to help as many
people as I can.
So that's that's kind of wherethe whole book thing came.
I mean, I've, like I said, I'vebeen wanting to write the book
for a long time, but having thebook is another gateway to being
(36:30):
on stage, which also terrifiesme.
But, like I said, it's notabout me, it's about helping
other people.
Michele Folan (36:36):
Yeah, and you know what?
You're the expert.
It's your story and no one cantell it better than you can, and
so I wish you the best with thebook and you and I will
definitely be connected throughfaster way.
But, christina, thank you foryour bravery and sharing your
(37:01):
story and putting it out therein print, because I know that is
never easy.
Cristina Simmons (37:06):
Thank you for the platform.
I'm so grateful for theconversation.
It's been really fun.
Thanks for being here.
Michele Folan (37:12):
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
Please rate and review the showwhere you listen to the podcast
.
And did you know that Askingfor a Friend is available now to
listen on YouTube?
You can subscribe to thepodcast there as well.
Your support is appreciated andit helps others find the show.
Thank you.
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