August 7, 2025 • 42 mins
Send me your feedback on this episode!
Behind the polished lobby and the corporate metrics is a world of constant pressure, emotional resilience, and the unspoken challenges that senior living leaders face every single day.
In this powerful conversation, Erin sits down with Kent Mulkey, Founder of Elevation Coaching and Membership Sales Executive for One-on-One Sales Academy, whose viral LinkedIn posts have resonated with tens of thousands in the senior living industry. Together, they pull back the curtain on the truths no one tells you about leadership in senior living—truths that could save a career from burnout.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The difference between passion and purpose—and why getting this wrong can drain even the best leaders.
- The unspoken tension between resident needs and corporate pressures, and how to navigate it without losing yourself.
- Why personal and professional growth are the same thing—and why separating them is costing leaders their well-being.
- The mindset shift that can help EDs let go of control, build trust, and empower their teams.
- How vulnerability and sharing your story can open doors, build influence, and restore joy in leadership.
Why You Need to Hear This:
Whether you’re an Executive Director, a corporate leader, or an aspiring senior living professional, this conversation will challenge how you think about leadership, success, and self-preservation in a demanding industry. Kent’s wisdom, combined with Erin’s hard-won insights, offers a roadmap to not just surviving—but thriving—in senior living leadership.
Connect with Kent:
- LinkedIn: Kent Mulkey
- One-on-One Sales Academy: oneonone.com/academy
- Elevation Coaching
Resources & Links:
- Connect with Erin: LinkedIn
- Explore the ED Launch Lab: Schedule a call
- Leadership coaching with Aspire for More: Schedule a call
Here is a link to an article Kent referenced in this episode he wrote: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/should-i-even-talking-kent-mulkey/?trackingId=azfxmFVcSmK%2BM4T2I9ktTw%3D%3D
New ED's Playbook to Creating and IMpactful Community Cultrue
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Follow me on Facebook where I educate, equip and empower family members how to proactively care for their elderly loved ones.
Follow me on Instagram where I educate, equip and empower family members how to proactively care for their elderly loved ones.
Join my email list where I will lift you up, and send tactile advice weekly to support you to grow your experience in your senior living career.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin (00:00):
This is gonna be a great episode.
Look, most people think theyknow what executive directors do
until they actually step intothe role.
In fact, we all thought it couldbe easy.
But we all know that it's not.
What you don't see is thetension, the pressures of trying
to meet residents' needs whilehitting corporate metrics.
(00:23):
The emotional toll of being thefirst one in and potentially the
last one out and still.
Feeling like it's not enough,the quiet moments of holding it
all together while your team,your residents, and your company
all depend on you.
a few weeks ago, a post onLinkedIn caught fire.
(00:45):
11 simple, raw, surprisingtruths about executive
directors, and it lit up thesenior living world on LinkedIn
because finally, someone saidthe quiet part out loud.
And that post was written by myguest today, Kent Mulkey, and
today he's here with me to talkabout what it really means to
(01:07):
lead in senior living.
We're gonna unpack some of these11 truths.
Talk about passion versuspurpose, which I am excited
about, and to offer every ED outthere.
One thing that they rarely getvalidation.
So if you are a leader.
A corporate role leader orsomeone who just wants to
(01:28):
understand what it really takesto run a successful and
sustainable community, thisepisode is for you and I'm so
excited.
Welcome Kent.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, thank
Kent (01:42):
you for having me.
Appreciate it.
It's great to be here with you.
Erin (01:45):
Yes.
So I recently started followingyou on LinkedIn and you're
writing just pretty much all thepeople in senior living world
that follow you really strike anerve and that's, that's
important because I think itreally showing this shift.
This shift that we're seeing fora more people centered, senior
(02:07):
living industry.
So what inspired you to writethat post and quite a few other
big posts that you wrote?
Kent (02:16):
Yeah.
Thank you.
So I, I reached a.
I reached a point, I wrote thearticle originally a couple
years ago for Senior LivingForesight, and it did real well
on senior living Foresightagain, so I edited it and re
reinvented it for LinkedIn a fewweeks back.
Got 22,000 impressions, hundredsof comments and emails, and it's
(02:40):
just like you said, it was justunbelievable what happened.
I think you're right.
It hit, it hit a nerve thatsomebody's speaking up on behalf
of the executive director, and Ithink it's an industry that
cares very deeply for people,but for the residents.
The employees in particular, theED is utilitarian and, very
(03:05):
often their needs, emotionalneeds, their practical needs
are, largely ignored.
And so I grew, my growingfrustration was to, to sit down.
I sat down one day and wrotethat article in probably 20
minutes.
Just what are the, what are thethings that I see in the ED that
(03:27):
they could really be, I didn'teven think about who might even
read it.
I wrote it really for myselforiginally.
Erin (03:35):
Mm-hmm.
I have found a lot of thingsthat I do like this particular
episode to be very therapeuticas well, and especially because,
you're a man and so.
Old ways of thinking are men area little bit more transactional
and can handle the pressuresdifferently.
(03:57):
not housing the feelings as muchas, as women do, or specifically
me as what I did.
And so to, and I think that isanother component of it for you
to be a man and to be able totalk about it so succinctly And
so empathetically andcompassionately is, um.
is important, and I know that'swhat draw me to you.
(04:19):
And if you wanna know the truth,I actually saw it on Facebook.
Somebody that in my world, inthe Alabama world, copied and
pasted it somehow made its wayto her Facebook page.
And I was like, that looksreally familiar.
And then later I was able toconnect the dots and I was like,
oh my gosh.
yeah.
Kent (04:39):
There's been, there's been a number of people who have
taken it and copied it in and,uh, one person I called out, and
I wish I hadn't done that'causeshe was just in good faith.
She just loved it so much.
She wanted to share it.
She wasn't trying to make it herown.
she just loved the content.
So it's really cool that it'sout there.
Erin (04:56):
Yeah.
I mean,
Kent (04:57):
it just got, it just got republished on Senior Living
Foresight.
Did it, um, just the other day.
Erin (05:02):
Yeah.
The, um.
I, I noticed that she, theperson that I'm talking about
did say this was stolen.
Kent (05:10):
Okay, cool.
Nice.
Yeah, there was
Erin (05:12):
no name on who it was stolen from, but yeah.
But she said that it, it wasstolen.
So what part of your ED journeyor your senior living journey,
prompted you to write that?
Kent (05:26):
Yeah, you know, probably, um.
15 or so years ago.
I've been in senior living for25 years now.
Probably 10 to 15 years ago.
I had a major mental emotionalbreakdown where I couldn't work
for six months, and one of myarticles that's on LinkedIn
today still getting views iscalled.
(05:49):
Should I even be writing aboutthis?
because it's, it's really prettyraw, pretty vulnerable about my
own journey with mental healthand burnout and leaving the
industry for a time because Iwas, I was so fried and so when
I came back, I, that's kind ofwhat led to me eventually
sitting down and saying, okay,what's it gonna take for me to
(06:10):
make it.
Going forward, I need to behonest about the factors that go
into both on the good side andthe challenging side to make it
in in this job.
So I wrote that article.
Erin (06:24):
It's so true though.
as the opening of this episodesays, like we have to prepare
leaders coming in.
Like when I look at these 20something year olds coming in to
become executive directors or.
Licensed nursing homeadministrators.
I wanna go up to them and Iwanna be like, you have no idea
what you're about to get into.
You have no idea.
You're gonna get lots oftraining, but they're not gonna
(06:46):
tell you what you need to knowto succeed.
and I think that, your contentand stuff that I do and episodes
like this, like we have to startpreparing these young leaders on
what it really takes to succeed.
Kent (07:01):
I'd love to, I, if I could wave a magic wand, I'd love to
see whether it's my content orsome variety, some version of it
that that'd be something, adocument you give to new, new
executive directors when theystart.
Okay, here's, here's whatthey're not telling you.
Erin (07:16):
Yes.
Kent (07:17):
It's not that they don't want to tell you, I just think,
don't think we're, we live withawareness in the industry and so
we go to trade conferences wherewe hear about compliance and we
hear about staffing and we allthe things that we need to hear
about, but we don't hear reallyabout the personal side, the
emotional side, the mental sideof.
(07:39):
Of, of the job and the role.
Um, I think that if, if theycould find a speaker for a, our
gen conference or a assistant,you know, a CALA conference,
something like that, I, I thinkit would be packed out.
Oh
Erin (07:53):
yeah.
Every stage I get on, I talkabout all the things on that
topic that I did wrong, and thenhow I fixed it or something
because, so they can seethemselves in, in, in my
content, just like I saw myselfin your content.
And I think that is what'staking fire and I think that's
really important.
(08:13):
So which of the 11 points do youfeel like, like for you to
write?
Stood out the most for you?
Kent (08:25):
Sure.
Well, I live with a, uh, I livewith a belief, a, an irrational
belief that I've carried with memy.
Uh, my life and have worked onfeverishly to minimize and to, I
haven't done away with it, butminimize, and that is the, just
the feeling that I'm never doingenough.
(08:46):
And it's a job that'll, it'sperfect for a guy like me in a,
in a not so good way.
'cause it'll continue to throwthings.
The corporate office willcontinue to throw initiatives
and emphasis and projects andjust stack and stack and stack
'em up.
and so, so for a guy like mewho's never doing enough for
years, I just dove in headfirstto all of those until I I, until
(09:10):
I couldn't do it anymore.
Erin (09:12):
Yeah.
Ugh.
Can I just say that hearing aman say that is so nice.
Kent (09:18):
Oh, thank you.
Erin (09:19):
It just normalizes it.
And I think it's not necessarilysenior living's fault.
It is corporate a corporation'sfault.
It's driven by always having toincrease, and so naturally it's
the trickle down of.
We have to do better than we didlast year.
We have to do better than we didlast month.
(09:40):
We have to do better.
senior living gets a bad rap,but that's I guess capitalism,
at its finest and we don't wantto settle.
But can it be that you can wantmore from the place of being
enough, or is it improvement andnot more?
I'm enough the way that I am,but I still wanna improve.
(10:04):
Sure.
is that a better way of lookingat that?
Kent (10:06):
Sure.
I think there's a differencebetween being enough and doing
enough.
And so, I have come to a pointin life where I think I, I am
enough.
My, my talents are, are veryclear.
My purpose is clear, my valuesare clear.
I bring a lot to the table andto the lives of people with whom
I interact.
(10:26):
But to feel like I'm doingenough, I still struggle with
that.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Erin (10:33):
Yeah, me too.
And as an entrepreneur, that'sreally scary.
Kent (10:36):
Sure.
And you're, and you're running abusiness and so am I.
And so I, I work at it, I workat it.
I work at it.
At the end of the day I go, Idon't think I did it enough.
Yeah.
So I work at it some more andit's hard for me to relax and
then anxiety kicks in and, and,uh, all this kinds of stuff I'm
working on.
Erin (10:53):
Yeah, so true.
All right, so let's talk aboutpoint number one.
Okay.
Balancing the resident's needswith corporate pressure, which
goes to constantly all theseinitiatives changing, which, did
you work inside of a communityduring COVID?
Kent (11:08):
Yes.
Erin (11:09):
Okay, so like before COVID it was, sales this and events
this, and like every month youhave to have all these big
things.
Going on, which would couldcause your head to spin.
And then all of a sudden you'vegot COVID going on, which the
sales component went away.
It took a backseat to theconstant changes that COVID
(11:30):
brought every time, all thetime.
And then once you get out ofCOVID, then it's the staffing
crisis.
And, and then it's the companiestrying to recoup.
And so it's always this tensionof.
Trying to get more being anddoing more.
Like we get that confused,right?
So how I really love that, bythe way.
(11:53):
I want to, I don't have to bemore, I just have to do more.
And there's a huge delineationfor that.
So how can you take that mindsetand apply it to point number
one, right when you're having todo more all the time.
Kent (12:09):
It's very, well, I'll say this, I'll, I'll state the
obvious.
It's very difficult, because youanswer to, to a corporation and,
and I, I worked for a publiclytraded, very large company
during COVID and um, there wasjust.
Even though it was COVID,there's always more, more
initiatives, more things toemphasize, more projects to work
(12:32):
on.
And it's very exhausting.
And I chose, I chose to stepaway from, from that job and
from that company.
'cause I, it was, I.
It was just really unrealistic.
And so I think that's,unfortunately, that becomes kind
of the, the main number oneoption for people is that I,
(12:53):
rather than burnout, I thinkpeople get out.
And I think, and that's whatwe're of course still seeing
post COVID, five years postCOVID.
We're seeing people, we see iton LinkedIn, we see it on
Facebook.
People just, just out therecrying out.
And crying out for a job outsideof the industry because they're
just so.
(13:17):
I don't know that it's anybody'sfault.
Nobody's doing it consciously onpurpose.
Nobody, no company would wantthat in their people, but until
we really develop and addressthe personal side of people and
not just the professional sideof people, it's not that we, not
that we run counselingorganizations for people that,
(13:37):
but that we address what's goingon inside of people in their
emotional world.
Yeah,
Erin (13:43):
I will tell.
I will tell you, my growth, my,my personal growth took a
backseat.
It was never a priority for mebecause caregiving was my coping
mechanism.
So I have my community thatneeds me.
I have my family that needs me,and the only things that I
really did for myself.
That brought pleasure would beeating, shopping, and working
(14:06):
out because it, I had to workout in order to lose some of the
anxiety that I had inside.
And I realized that that was ahealthy coping mechanism, but my
professional growth was toppriority.
and to what extent?
I have no idea.
I don't really know.
I mean, I grew in, in capacityof solving problems inside of a
(14:29):
community and knowing, so seeingthe patterns that made people
wanna choose my community andbeing able to create stories
like I had that skill.
I was good at that skill.
Um, but I didn't realize thelid, right?
Like the leadership lid.
And from a growth perspective, Ididn't realize that my, my
(14:50):
personal.
Limitations, the limitingbeliefs, were preventing me from
growing.
Now I understand that, and, andI don't think that senior living
understands that either, becauseI was talking to somebody
recently and the recruiter saidto send an email and said, you
need to work on yourprofessional and your personal
growth, and that, that lit afire underneath me.
(15:15):
Like I, I was just like, really?
W when.
When do we do that?
When do we have time to do that?
When do we have time to makethat a conscious effort?
But people like you and I whounderstand this, who have the
experience, understand thatactually personal and
professional growth, there is nodifference.
And you can infuse themtogether.
But senior living doesn't try todo that because they, they
(15:38):
haven't had the opportunity thatthey do now with people who have
invested in themselves andunderstand.
Had I done things differently, Iprobably would still be in a
community.
Had I done things differently, Iwould not have been so fried.
I couldn't walk outta the housefor six months.
Kent (15:54):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (15:54):
we can keep more people in if we let them teach them how to
grow their capacity, becausethings aren't gonna change.
People aren't going to change.
I'm not gonna be able to changethe people coming in to work
here, but I can change me.
That is where senior living ismissing the mark.
Yes,
Kent (16:13):
I do
Erin (16:13):
believe that.
Yes.
Where I miss the mark,
Kent (16:15):
yes.
That's
Erin (16:16):
good.
That's the people business.
Kent (16:18):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (16:19):
Piece of it.
That is my soapbox.
I'm sorry that fired me up thisweek.
Kent (16:23):
I cannot, I cannot.
Erin (16:25):
Get that out of my mind.
Kent (16:27):
I love it.
Erin (16:29):
it is the difference of being more versus doing more,
and we get trapped that we thinkit's the same and it's not.
We can always do more if we'restrategic about it.
or do we delegate it anyways?
That's probably a whole, well, a
Kent (16:44):
lot of that, a lot of that can be delegated.
I think the, uh, on a podcastwith one-on-one sales academy, I
talked about this, the role ofthe ED and the sales operation
and there, the ed carries aradio, carries a big wad of
keys.
has to be kind of the.
It feels like they have to bethe center of everything.
(17:04):
And they're not trying tomicromanage, but they're trying
to be involved in all thesedetails and you cannot do it.
There's just too many balls inthe air and that's what really
wears people down.
And so I think that if the EDcan recognize that they're not
the most important person,they're important, they have a
very, a really vital role But ifpeople are, I don't like the
(17:26):
word, but if people are, arereally empowered.
To do their jobs.
And we treat, we treat ourmanagers.
When we treat our staff asprofessionals, the more mature
you can let go of a lot of thosethings and let people make
decisions and let people runwith their, with their area of,
of discipline or theirdepartment and, uh, and put some
(17:48):
limits around their job.
And I found that I, once I wasable to, to do that, I was able
to survive.
Erin (17:55):
Yeah.
Oh yes, definitely.
Uh, I was, it was just recentlyat, uh, my ed launch lab meeting
and, and we were reallydissecting this very concept,
right?
What you're talking about, thedelegation piece and, going from
control based leadership toinfluence based leadership with
management based leadershipbeing in there and.
(18:16):
Someone was saying that it washard whenever it was her license
on the wall.
how many times do you hear that?
Kent (18:21):
it's not true though.
Erin (18:22):
I know it's not true.
I want you to answer thatquestion.
Kent (18:25):
Yeah.
So it's, um, it's a, it's an egothing for somebody to say that
the, the license on the wall isthe license of the community in
the company.
They're not typically gonna comeafter them.
Ed, although I, I'm inCalifornia.
In California, we are seeingsome of that happen where eds
(18:45):
are, are targeted, but it'sreally not typically the case.
I think that they over, theyoveremphasize their importance.
Erin (18:53):
Yeah.
And it's a nurse thing to saythat too.
And, and my response to her wasbecause I, you hear that all the
time and I have said it, and tosome degree I believe it in
Alabama.
They will take away anadministrator's license, but
that's a fear-based mindset,which will default you to
(19:14):
control based leadership, ifthat's even a term.
It may be control basedmanagement, I don't know.
But the regulations never saythat you have to control
everything.
Regulations and expectations saythat you have to respond
appropriately.
(19:35):
And where I have seen people getin trouble is when they don't
respond appropriately or it'sdelayed or it's ignored.
That's when your license becomesa problem.
Not in somebody making ahorrific judgment call and you
have no warning and you couldn'tdo anything about it.
Kent (19:55):
Sure.
I don't, certainly don't know.
I've, I've had an administrativecertificate in three different
states, California, Colorado,and Idaho.
And in all three of thosestates, I have found that the
state, uh, licensing analysts orinspectors or whatever you call
'em, really wanna work with you.
They're not out to get us.
Right.
And they're, they're really not.
And there's been a huge shift ina good way, even though kind of
(20:18):
the paradoxes that theregulations have become a lot
tougher.
in California, they've tripledin thickness over the years
since I've been doing this, ifnot quadrupled in thickness.
Yeah, but the licensing analystsreally wanna work, work with the
communities, and they're not,they're not out to get us.
Erin (20:35):
Yeah, it's true.
It's fear based, and when we'rescared we create all kinds of
stories.
Mm-hmm.
Kent (20:40):
And meaning,
Erin (20:41):
All right.
So which of the 11 points thatyou wrote.
Do you think that, Ooh, this isa hard question.
The corporate teamsmisunderstand the most.
Kent (20:51):
Gosh.
Erin (20:52):
I know, right?
But the
Kent (20:53):
corporate team misunderstands the most.
Erin (20:56):
Yeah.
Like they don't value, maybethey don't even value it as much
as they should.
Kent (21:01):
Well, I think, um, I think it's just so typical.
Unfortunate that when Eds arehired, a a, a company says very
proudly and boldly, you're gonnabe on call 24 7.
That's part of the job, and Ithink what a tragic thing to say
(21:22):
to somebody because nobody cansustain.
Yeah.
That kind of a schedule.
To carry your phone with you andhave it by your bed all the
time.
And the over-functioningworkaholic ish, ed, who doesn't
have very good limits orboundaries loves it because they
feel needed and important andthey've got their phone with
(21:44):
them all the time and they'relosing sleep, but they just
think that that's the, the bestthing until you can't do it
anymore.
Yeah.
Because that inevitably,inevitably comes.
which is why we're seeing peopleleave the industry in record
numbers because it's just, it'sso unfortunate and I think
there's gotta be, there's gottabe, there's good companies out
(22:05):
there and they've gotta bebecoming aware of, of this kind
of trend and, and hopefullyresponding to it.
Yeah.
Erin (22:12):
So good.
Okay.
This may be my favorite topicthat we're gonna talk about,
which is passion versus purpose.
And I just want you to give meyour, your, a monologue about
that.
Like what makes you So, I mean,I have a lot to say about this
topic, but I want to, I want, Ireally wanna go off of like why
you are so purposeful andpassionate about this topic.
(22:34):
And, I wanna hear what you haveto say.
Kent (22:37):
I've been so fortunate because I've been mentored by
really good people in theindustry and, uh, from David
Smith at one-on-One SalesAcademy, for many years have
been trained and mentored byhim.
My first boss at Ageist, DwayneClark, who was very good to me,
in fact, made me take a week offand doesn't count against
(22:57):
vacation.
Made me take a week off.
and after filling a buildingthat we opened, he just said,
you're tired.
You need a week off.
and he really looked after mywellbeing.
So I was really fortunate to bementored by some really good,
good people.
So that's the other, that's theother side of burnout.
So the, the burnout didn't comefrom those people, it came from
(23:18):
other situations, That wereunfortunate.
but I think what really carriespeople is they're well thought
through, developed convictionabout what their purpose is on
the earth.
Passion, I think, is a littlemore fluid.
Um, I can lose.
(23:39):
Or my passion can kind of waverat times, depending on a mood or
the circumstances or what'scoming my way, coming down the
pike.
but purpose is what carries usand along what, what comes along
with purposes or certain habitsthat we put into place.
I think I wrote an articleabout, six habits that are gonna
(24:01):
carry your organization tosuccess.
That's somewhere on, out thereon LinkedIn right now.
Mm-hmm.
Erin (24:07):
Yeah, I don't think I ever really knew purpose the way that
I do now when I was inside of acommunity.
And why, like I believed passionwas the engine.
I, I believed passion was myengine.
(24:28):
Um, it was always inside of me.
And it came out when I firstwalked into a community, it was
the thing that I knew that Ihad, that was my point of
difference.
And I, I confused passion withpurpose because like you said,
passion wanes.
And I feel like if I, if Iwasn't passionate about what I'm
(24:49):
doing was doing, then I wasn'tmean.
And so I always needed to bepassionate about it and I was,
and that's exhausting.
And then there's the other sidewhere you weaponize passion.
Where I fight for what I believeto be true, which is passionate
mentality.
And really what I had waspurpose.
(25:11):
That I viewed as passion and Iam a passionate being, but I
used it the wrong way,Interesting.
And I just didn't get it.
Kent (25:22):
Here's an example.
Probably 18 years or so ago, Itrained for several years for a
cross country bike race.
I rode on a team, a relay teamacross the country.
It was an actual race.
I trained for two solid years,and my purpose.
Was to be able to trainsufficiently so that I could do
(25:42):
that race and complete it in, ina reasonable time.
we had a goal, but that was ourpurpose.
But my passion for cycling wanedwith saddle soreness, with hot
weather, with rainy weather,with cold weather, with just my
energy level.
If I had relied on my passionfor cycling.
I probably, there's a lot oftimes I wouldn't have gotten on
(26:04):
the bike to train, but I had avery clear purpose in mind and
that kept me going.
Erin (26:10):
yeah.
So true.
So purpose is the engine andpassion is the fuel, like that.
and when I can de, when we candelegate those things out, it
makes sense, like my purpose.
Was to create an environmentwhere people wanted to live,
(26:31):
right?
A great place to work and live.
and I was passionate about that,but it wasn't like the, it's not
my passion, it's my purpose.
And that's a completelydifferent, mindset to have.
It's the being and the doing.
and I learned a lot of that frommy friend Anna Hall, who's now
(26:53):
working with Front Porch.
But she started the purposeequation and it, it being in
doing, it's a simple twodifferent words.
Right.
It's Oh, so good.
Okay.
So what advice would you givethe new Ed, who feels the weight
but not the joy yet of thepassion and the purpose?
(27:14):
Because with purpose comes joy.
Kent (27:17):
It does.
And that's, that's, that'snumber 11 on my 11 points about
being an ED is that it'sincredibly satisfying.
there's no better environmentfor me in my career.
I've done a variety of ofthings.
I've worked in mental health.
I've worked for a nonprofit,youth mentoring organization.
(27:39):
Working with seniors isincredibly rewarding.
Erin (27:42):
It really is.
Kent (27:43):
And I want, I wanted to make sure in that article that's
something that, that is noted.
Uh, it's because a lot of peoplefrom outside of that ask or say
to people like us, I don't knowhow you do it.
Because it just seems so well,it is difficult, and so I'm not
negating, all the things thatare difficult, but there's such
a positive, wonderful side to itthat mm-hmm.
(28:04):
That, uh, that really can carryyou.
Erin (28:07):
Yes, it's true.
So if you feel the weight, youdon't wanna, you don't wanna get
lost in the weight.
You have to look for the joy,and you have to remind yourself
of why you do this, and then beaware of your own.
Reasons why you're trying to bemore and doing more.
(28:29):
'cause you don't have to doeither.
You have to figure out what itis that's driving you to be,
need to be more and need to do
Kent (28:39):
more.
Yeah.
You know, really to be fair tothe corporate structure, the
people that the ED reports to upthe ladder.
they do get pretty, pretty heavywith initiatives and emphasis
and projects, but I never had aboss tell me I needed to work
more hours, right?
(29:00):
That came from inside of me.
My drive, as I've mentioned afew minutes ago, my belief that
I'm never doing enough and Ineed to do more.
So, to be fair, to the companiesI've worked for, which have been
several.
Nobody sat down with me andsaid, you need to work more.
Right.
If anything, they said, you needto walk away sooner at the end
(29:22):
of the day.
And that's a, a maturity thing,and that's becoming an adult to
have, uh, limits and boundariesaround our job and step away
from it.
And that's a tough lesson.
Erin (29:34):
and it's the area that the companies need to invest in
their leadership for.
Kent (29:37):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (29:40):
Because that's there's the root cause.
There
Kent (29:43):
it is.
That's
Erin (29:44):
why coaching is important.
That's why awareness isimportant.
That's why all the things thatwe're talking about is because
if you don't have this, theawareness to even call it out by
name, let alone the tools tocorrect it.
Then that's crashing andburning,
Kent (30:01):
Yeah.
I'm amazed with that.
Be this article it catch caughtfire out there on LinkedIn and,
um, I, I am.
Amazed, stunned by the number ofcomments.
People made their ownself-disclosure about their own
struggle to me with directmessages, messages on LinkedIn,
(30:23):
emails that I got from that.
I'm still getting from peoplethanking me for it.
And unfortunate, it'sunfortunate that, I mean, it's,
it's kind of a two-edged swordbecause it's great that people
can speak up.
There's a, there's now an,there's an avenue out.
There I can, gosh, somebody tookthe lid off this thing and now I
can, I can speak up.
But it's unfortunate thatthere's so many people who are
(30:44):
struggling.
Erin (30:45):
Yeah.
It's a real, it's a realopportunity for senior living to
invest in their leaders.
there's so much to say withthat.
Okay.
So when we talk about what needsto be changed in the side of the
industry, this is a big segue.
I mean.
People centered for leadershipas well as resident centered.
And now you are working with acompany that really is a people
(31:06):
centered, sales driven or,organization, one-on-one sales
academy, which I am trulyintrigued by.
And so we can do that for sales,but there's the operations
piece, which I believe sales andoperations are the same thing I
do.
Sales is influence, leadershipis influence, it's all the same.
(31:29):
so tell us more about that, andall the exciting things about
what Yeah, I
Kent (31:34):
think so.
I think, the credit goes toDavid Smith, who created the
company one-on-one and began todo training years and years ago
and had, uh.
Really frustrating, limitedsuccess, trying to fill
buildings.
Got, you know, going on, I thinkat least 30 years ago now.
he was really at the forefrontand he began to study the
(31:55):
psychology of change and howpeople make decisions and some
of the thinking with one-on-onesales.
Comes out of the recoverymovement and a practice called
Motivational Interviewing wherewe tap into people's own
motivations for change and nottelling them that they need to
change and make a decision.
(32:15):
And so it's, it's proven to bea.
very effective.
So David is looking at hislegacy, decided to create a
company that can train hundredsand thousands of salespeople out
there in the industry to movethe needle to, to be able to
reach more, to more residents ina very human, very empathic
(32:38):
trust building way to move themtowards a decision to move to
senior living.
Yeah.
So true.
It's the only way I, I was just,sorry.
I was gonna say, I was trainedby David back in 2012.
And it, it changed, radicallychanged my thinking about people
and about, about selling toseniors.
(32:59):
And I've been able to bementored and trained by David
and the, the one-on-one people.
So to be able to go to work forthem is a real privilege.
Oh
Erin (33:08):
yeah.
I've only known how to, I didn'thave the words like, the
motivation, their own personalmotivation, but I only know
relationship centered sales andrelationship centered
operations.
And when you talk about changemanagement or change motivation,
that applies to operations 100%right now as well.
(33:29):
You know, I mean, it's just.
Yeah, I fought change tooth andnail because I was scared that I
wouldn't be able to succeed inthe new way That was, that was
happening.
And had somebody simply justsaid to me, don't you wanna move
to the next level of yourcareer?
Just plugged into that one sideof me instead of like.
(33:52):
Change, forcing things.
It would've been a muchdifferent response, from a
highly passionate, fighter.
It would've been very, verydifferent,
Kent (34:02):
yeah.
Erin (34:03):
So what is your role with one-on-one Sales Academy and
what are the big, what are thebig, I mean, I see the benefit
of it.
I see it, I know it.
I like, I like to watch.
Their content on LinkedIn.
So
Kent (34:14):
yeah, it's, it's, um, it's, a great, it's gonna be a,
it's really just launching, justcoming.
July one was the launch of thecompany, so it's a whole package
of podcasts and videos, uh,webinars.
there's an an e-learning portalthat people would be able to get
on and, and do some training,and it's designed for the com,
(34:35):
uh, to be, uh, training andencouraging community level
salespeople, sales teams.
as kind of at your own pace,learning and training, what's
called prospect center sellingmodel that David developed and
is trademarked by David.
he's, he decided to pass on alegacy.
(34:55):
So he started this company and,um, it's, it is, it is catching
fire already and we haven't evenreally, we haven't really even
touched very many companies atthis point.
Erin (35:08):
Yeah, it's going to, I have that same philosophy, that
same legacy impact that I wantfrom the, for the operations
side.
And so I, I saw it and I justthought, hmm.
It's a great idea because I'mtrying to do it myself on the
Kent (35:24):
s it's gonna be, it's gonna be really fun.
He brought together a whole hostof people in March in St.
Louis to do a bunch of videorecording, recording podcasts,
and I got to be a part of that.
And I left there thinking, Iwanna work with David.
I've always, actually, alwayswanted to.
And so we created a way for meto do that and, and I'm, I'm
really fortunate to be able todo that.
Erin (35:47):
which is a good point as we close out this episode,
senior living is a big world,but it's very, very small.
Mm-hmm.
And so everywhere you go.
You have to think with the endin mind because you never know
who's going to be your boss.
You never know who's going tohave the next opportunity for
you to go, so you cannot thinksuch short term picture.
(36:10):
You really have to think from abig term, right?
Perspective,
Kent (36:13):
right?
Erin (36:13):
So you don't.
Limit yourself.
Is really important.
Kent (36:17):
We're really fortunate.
We've got Reed Davis on boardwho's the chief learning
Officer, and he's a mastertrainer of Prospect Center
selling.
He was with a Align and withSherpa doing their national
training and so he's, he's onboard with us as well.
Yeah.
So we're really fortunate tohave him.
Erin (36:34):
That's great.
That's great.
okay.
Leave us off with something.
you are working with one-on-oneSales Academy, you're also an
elevation.
You founder of ElevationCoaching, you do one-on-one
coaching.
I love to bring coaches on, my,my podcast because we do offer
insights and people need to hearthe story of, of lessons
(36:55):
learned, hard lessons learned,and and resilience wins on the
way back up.
What is something you'repassionate about?
You know, I know we talked alittle bit about what leaders
need to know, but what do you.
What are some wise words youhave for us to close
Kent (37:13):
this out?
Sure.
Well wise words, we'll see.
We'll let the listener decidethat.
Right, I am, um, veryenthusiastic about midlife
transitions and really they,they start.
Sometimes sooner than peoplethink.
It's not necessarily midlifecrisis, although some people go
through, what you'd call acrisis, but everybody faces
(37:34):
midlife.
Midlife transitions with theircareer.
Maybe with a relationship withkids, there's oftentimes a
period of disillusionment orquestioning, uh, asking
themselves what's next.
Sometimes people asking, is thisall there is?
and I think that when people arespec senior living, specifically
executive directors for example,and regional people say, is this
(37:58):
all there is because I'm tired.
There's a way through to learnto put limits on the job, to get
some help, whether that's hiringa coach, going to therapy,
talking to a friend, um, andeven.
Even taking the risk and sittingdown with your boss and saying,
I, I need help in order to makeit in, in this job.
(38:21):
Because I think that, I thinkthat there's starting to be
openings in companies wherepeople are, are open to hearing
what's really going on in thelife of an ed.
Erin (38:32):
Yeah.
So true.
It's so true.
Don't, I hate to
Kent (38:36):
see, I hate to see people leaving the industry
unnecessarily or out of, out ofbitterness or burnout.
Erin (38:42):
Yeah.
Oh, that's good.
Unless you take the scary leapto invest in yourself with a
coach or a mentor, you don'tknow how life changing it can
be.
But you have to be ready.
I work with three differentcompanies now and I told one of
the CEOs, don't give me somebodywho doesn't want it.
(39:04):
Okay.
It has to be somebody who wantsit and they don't even know what
they want because coaching issuch a foreign practice.
It was for me.
but I, I took the leap and itchanged my life.
It did.
And I recently just saw a quotethat says.
And this was me inside of acommunity.
(39:25):
If you are your own mentor, youare being run, you know you will
fail because you only know whatyou know.
Yeah.
You only know what you know.
Kent (39:34):
Yeah.
Just continue to live out of ourblind spots that way.
Yeah.
Erin (39:40):
Well, okay.
Where can they find you?
more about you, Ken?
Kent (39:44):
uh, one on one-on-one dot com slash academy.
One-on-one dot com slash academyand uh, elevation coaching.net.
Erin (39:55):
Okay.
Alright, well thank you so muchfor Thank you.
giving us your wisdom andtalking about this and all the
content that you're putting outon LinkedIn.
It's so refreshing.
We appreciate it.
And again, coaching is somethingthat is worth investing in.
Kent is a avail, is available.
I am available.
We have.
leadership courses, the EDlaunch lab.
(40:18):
Invest in yourself because youare worth the investment and you
will take yourself wherever yougo.
That's the key thing toremember.
I like it.
Kent (40:32):
Thank you very much.
Thanks for having me on today,Erin.
I appreciate it.
Erin (40:35):
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
Have a great day everyone.
Always aspire for more for you.
This is gonna be a great episode.
Look, most people think theyknow what executive directors do
until they actually step intothe role.
In fact, we all thought it couldbe easy.
But we all know that it's not.
What you don't see is thetension, the pressures of trying
to meet residents' needs whilehitting corporate metrics.
(00:23):
The emotional toll of being thefirst one in and potentially the
last one out and still.
Feeling like it's not enough,the quiet moments of holding it
all together while your team,your residents, and your company
all depend on you.
a few weeks ago, a post onLinkedIn caught fire.
(00:45):
11 simple, raw, surprisingtruths about executive
directors, and it lit up thesenior living world on LinkedIn
because finally, someone saidthe quiet part out loud.
And that post was written by myguest today, Kent Mulkey, and
today he's here with me to talkabout what it really means to
(01:07):
lead in senior living.
We're gonna unpack some of these11 truths.
Talk about passion versuspurpose, which I am excited
about, and to offer every ED outthere.
One thing that they rarely getvalidation.
So if you are a leader.
A corporate role leader orsomeone who just wants to
(01:28):
understand what it really takesto run a successful and
sustainable community, thisepisode is for you and I'm so
excited.
Welcome Kent.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, thank
Kent (01:42):
you for having me.
Appreciate it.
It's great to be here with you.
Erin (01:45):
Yes.
So I recently started followingyou on LinkedIn and you're
writing just pretty much all thepeople in senior living world
that follow you really strike anerve and that's, that's
important because I think itreally showing this shift.
This shift that we're seeing fora more people centered, senior
(02:07):
living industry.
So what inspired you to writethat post and quite a few other
big posts that you wrote?
Kent (02:16):
Yeah.
Thank you.
So I, I reached a.
I reached a point, I wrote thearticle originally a couple
years ago for Senior LivingForesight, and it did real well
on senior living Foresightagain, so I edited it and re
reinvented it for LinkedIn a fewweeks back.
Got 22,000 impressions, hundredsof comments and emails, and it's
(02:40):
just like you said, it was justunbelievable what happened.
I think you're right.
It hit, it hit a nerve thatsomebody's speaking up on behalf
of the executive director, and Ithink it's an industry that
cares very deeply for people,but for the residents.
The employees in particular, theED is utilitarian and, very
(03:05):
often their needs, emotionalneeds, their practical needs
are, largely ignored.
And so I grew, my growingfrustration was to, to sit down.
I sat down one day and wrotethat article in probably 20
minutes.
Just what are the, what are thethings that I see in the ED that
(03:27):
they could really be, I didn'teven think about who might even
read it.
I wrote it really for myselforiginally.
Erin (03:35):
Mm-hmm.
I have found a lot of thingsthat I do like this particular
episode to be very therapeuticas well, and especially because,
you're a man and so.
Old ways of thinking are men area little bit more transactional
and can handle the pressuresdifferently.
(03:57):
not housing the feelings as muchas, as women do, or specifically
me as what I did.
And so to, and I think that isanother component of it for you
to be a man and to be able totalk about it so succinctly And
so empathetically andcompassionately is, um.
is important, and I know that'swhat draw me to you.
(04:19):
And if you wanna know the truth,I actually saw it on Facebook.
Somebody that in my world, inthe Alabama world, copied and
pasted it somehow made its wayto her Facebook page.
And I was like, that looksreally familiar.
And then later I was able toconnect the dots and I was like,
oh my gosh.
yeah.
Kent (04:39):
There's been, there's been a number of people who have
taken it and copied it in and,uh, one person I called out, and
I wish I hadn't done that'causeshe was just in good faith.
She just loved it so much.
She wanted to share it.
She wasn't trying to make it herown.
she just loved the content.
So it's really cool that it'sout there.
Erin (04:56):
Yeah.
I mean,
Kent (04:57):
it just got, it just got republished on Senior Living
Foresight.
Did it, um, just the other day.
Erin (05:02):
Yeah.
The, um.
I, I noticed that she, theperson that I'm talking about
did say this was stolen.
Kent (05:10):
Okay, cool.
Nice.
Yeah, there was
Erin (05:12):
no name on who it was stolen from, but yeah.
But she said that it, it wasstolen.
So what part of your ED journeyor your senior living journey,
prompted you to write that?
Kent (05:26):
Yeah, you know, probably, um.
15 or so years ago.
I've been in senior living for25 years now.
Probably 10 to 15 years ago.
I had a major mental emotionalbreakdown where I couldn't work
for six months, and one of myarticles that's on LinkedIn
today still getting views iscalled.
(05:49):
Should I even be writing aboutthis?
because it's, it's really prettyraw, pretty vulnerable about my
own journey with mental healthand burnout and leaving the
industry for a time because Iwas, I was so fried and so when
I came back, I, that's kind ofwhat led to me eventually
sitting down and saying, okay,what's it gonna take for me to
(06:10):
make it.
Going forward, I need to behonest about the factors that go
into both on the good side andthe challenging side to make it
in in this job.
So I wrote that article.
Erin (06:24):
It's so true though.
as the opening of this episodesays, like we have to prepare
leaders coming in.
Like when I look at these 20something year olds coming in to
become executive directors or.
Licensed nursing homeadministrators.
I wanna go up to them and Iwanna be like, you have no idea
what you're about to get into.
You have no idea.
You're gonna get lots oftraining, but they're not gonna
(06:46):
tell you what you need to knowto succeed.
and I think that, your contentand stuff that I do and episodes
like this, like we have to startpreparing these young leaders on
what it really takes to succeed.
Kent (07:01):
I'd love to, I, if I could wave a magic wand, I'd love to
see whether it's my content orsome variety, some version of it
that that'd be something, adocument you give to new, new
executive directors when theystart.
Okay, here's, here's whatthey're not telling you.
Erin (07:16):
Yes.
Kent (07:17):
It's not that they don't want to tell you, I just think,
don't think we're, we live withawareness in the industry and so
we go to trade conferences wherewe hear about compliance and we
hear about staffing and we allthe things that we need to hear
about, but we don't hear reallyabout the personal side, the
emotional side, the mental sideof.
(07:39):
Of, of the job and the role.
Um, I think that if, if theycould find a speaker for a, our
gen conference or a assistant,you know, a CALA conference,
something like that, I, I thinkit would be packed out.
Oh
Erin (07:53):
yeah.
Every stage I get on, I talkabout all the things on that
topic that I did wrong, and thenhow I fixed it or something
because, so they can seethemselves in, in, in my
content, just like I saw myselfin your content.
And I think that is what'staking fire and I think that's
really important.
(08:13):
So which of the 11 points do youfeel like, like for you to
write?
Stood out the most for you?
Kent (08:25):
Sure.
Well, I live with a, uh, I livewith a belief, a, an irrational
belief that I've carried with memy.
Uh, my life and have worked onfeverishly to minimize and to, I
haven't done away with it, butminimize, and that is the, just
the feeling that I'm never doingenough.
(08:46):
And it's a job that'll, it'sperfect for a guy like me in a,
in a not so good way.
'cause it'll continue to throwthings.
The corporate office willcontinue to throw initiatives
and emphasis and projects andjust stack and stack and stack
'em up.
and so, so for a guy like mewho's never doing enough for
years, I just dove in headfirstto all of those until I I, until
(09:10):
I couldn't do it anymore.
Erin (09:12):
Yeah.
Ugh.
Can I just say that hearing aman say that is so nice.
Kent (09:18):
Oh, thank you.
Erin (09:19):
It just normalizes it.
And I think it's not necessarilysenior living's fault.
It is corporate a corporation'sfault.
It's driven by always having toincrease, and so naturally it's
the trickle down of.
We have to do better than we didlast year.
We have to do better than we didlast month.
(09:40):
We have to do better.
senior living gets a bad rap,but that's I guess capitalism,
at its finest and we don't wantto settle.
But can it be that you can wantmore from the place of being
enough, or is it improvement andnot more?
I'm enough the way that I am,but I still wanna improve.
(10:04):
Sure.
is that a better way of lookingat that?
Kent (10:06):
Sure.
I think there's a differencebetween being enough and doing
enough.
And so, I have come to a pointin life where I think I, I am
enough.
My, my talents are, are veryclear.
My purpose is clear, my valuesare clear.
I bring a lot to the table andto the lives of people with whom
I interact.
(10:26):
But to feel like I'm doingenough, I still struggle with
that.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Erin (10:33):
Yeah, me too.
And as an entrepreneur, that'sreally scary.
Kent (10:36):
Sure.
And you're, and you're running abusiness and so am I.
And so I, I work at it, I workat it.
I work at it.
At the end of the day I go, Idon't think I did it enough.
Yeah.
So I work at it some more andit's hard for me to relax and
then anxiety kicks in and, and,uh, all this kinds of stuff I'm
working on.
Erin (10:53):
Yeah, so true.
All right, so let's talk aboutpoint number one.
Okay.
Balancing the resident's needswith corporate pressure, which
goes to constantly all theseinitiatives changing, which, did
you work inside of a communityduring COVID?
Kent (11:08):
Yes.
Erin (11:09):
Okay, so like before COVID it was, sales this and events
this, and like every month youhave to have all these big
things.
Going on, which would couldcause your head to spin.
And then all of a sudden you'vegot COVID going on, which the
sales component went away.
It took a backseat to theconstant changes that COVID
(11:30):
brought every time, all thetime.
And then once you get out ofCOVID, then it's the staffing
crisis.
And, and then it's the companiestrying to recoup.
And so it's always this tensionof.
Trying to get more being anddoing more.
Like we get that confused,right?
So how I really love that, bythe way.
(11:53):
I want to, I don't have to bemore, I just have to do more.
And there's a huge delineationfor that.
So how can you take that mindsetand apply it to point number
one, right when you're having todo more all the time.
Kent (12:09):
It's very, well, I'll say this, I'll, I'll state the
obvious.
It's very difficult, because youanswer to, to a corporation and,
and I, I worked for a publiclytraded, very large company
during COVID and um, there wasjust.
Even though it was COVID,there's always more, more
initiatives, more things toemphasize, more projects to work
(12:32):
on.
And it's very exhausting.
And I chose, I chose to stepaway from, from that job and
from that company.
'cause I, it was, I.
It was just really unrealistic.
And so I think that's,unfortunately, that becomes kind
of the, the main number oneoption for people is that I,
(12:53):
rather than burnout, I thinkpeople get out.
And I think, and that's whatwe're of course still seeing
post COVID, five years postCOVID.
We're seeing people, we see iton LinkedIn, we see it on
Facebook.
People just, just out therecrying out.
And crying out for a job outsideof the industry because they're
just so.
(13:17):
I don't know that it's anybody'sfault.
Nobody's doing it consciously onpurpose.
Nobody, no company would wantthat in their people, but until
we really develop and addressthe personal side of people and
not just the professional sideof people, it's not that we, not
that we run counselingorganizations for people that,
(13:37):
but that we address what's goingon inside of people in their
emotional world.
Yeah,
Erin (13:43):
I will tell.
I will tell you, my growth, my,my personal growth took a
backseat.
It was never a priority for mebecause caregiving was my coping
mechanism.
So I have my community thatneeds me.
I have my family that needs me,and the only things that I
really did for myself.
That brought pleasure would beeating, shopping, and working
(14:06):
out because it, I had to workout in order to lose some of the
anxiety that I had inside.
And I realized that that was ahealthy coping mechanism, but my
professional growth was toppriority.
and to what extent?
I have no idea.
I don't really know.
I mean, I grew in, in capacityof solving problems inside of a
(14:29):
community and knowing, so seeingthe patterns that made people
wanna choose my community andbeing able to create stories
like I had that skill.
I was good at that skill.
Um, but I didn't realize thelid, right?
Like the leadership lid.
And from a growth perspective, Ididn't realize that my, my
(14:50):
personal.
Limitations, the limitingbeliefs, were preventing me from
growing.
Now I understand that, and, andI don't think that senior living
understands that either, becauseI was talking to somebody
recently and the recruiter saidto send an email and said, you
need to work on yourprofessional and your personal
growth, and that, that lit afire underneath me.
(15:15):
Like I, I was just like, really?
W when.
When do we do that?
When do we have time to do that?
When do we have time to makethat a conscious effort?
But people like you and I whounderstand this, who have the
experience, understand thatactually personal and
professional growth, there is nodifference.
And you can infuse themtogether.
But senior living doesn't try todo that because they, they
(15:38):
haven't had the opportunity thatthey do now with people who have
invested in themselves andunderstand.
Had I done things differently, Iprobably would still be in a
community.
Had I done things differently, Iwould not have been so fried.
I couldn't walk outta the housefor six months.
Kent (15:54):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (15:54):
we can keep more people in if we let them teach them how to
grow their capacity, becausethings aren't gonna change.
People aren't going to change.
I'm not gonna be able to changethe people coming in to work
here, but I can change me.
That is where senior living ismissing the mark.
Yes,
Kent (16:13):
I do
Erin (16:13):
believe that.
Yes.
Where I miss the mark,
Kent (16:15):
yes.
That's
Erin (16:16):
good.
That's the people business.
Kent (16:18):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (16:19):
Piece of it.
That is my soapbox.
I'm sorry that fired me up thisweek.
Kent (16:23):
I cannot, I cannot.
Erin (16:25):
Get that out of my mind.
Kent (16:27):
I love it.
Erin (16:29):
it is the difference of being more versus doing more,
and we get trapped that we thinkit's the same and it's not.
We can always do more if we'restrategic about it.
or do we delegate it anyways?
That's probably a whole, well, a
Kent (16:44):
lot of that, a lot of that can be delegated.
I think the, uh, on a podcastwith one-on-one sales academy, I
talked about this, the role ofthe ED and the sales operation
and there, the ed carries aradio, carries a big wad of
keys.
has to be kind of the.
It feels like they have to bethe center of everything.
(17:04):
And they're not trying tomicromanage, but they're trying
to be involved in all thesedetails and you cannot do it.
There's just too many balls inthe air and that's what really
wears people down.
And so I think that if the EDcan recognize that they're not
the most important person,they're important, they have a
very, a really vital role But ifpeople are, I don't like the
(17:26):
word, but if people are, arereally empowered.
To do their jobs.
And we treat, we treat ourmanagers.
When we treat our staff asprofessionals, the more mature
you can let go of a lot of thosethings and let people make
decisions and let people runwith their, with their area of,
of discipline or theirdepartment and, uh, and put some
(17:48):
limits around their job.
And I found that I, once I wasable to, to do that, I was able
to survive.
Erin (17:55):
Yeah.
Oh yes, definitely.
Uh, I was, it was just recentlyat, uh, my ed launch lab meeting
and, and we were reallydissecting this very concept,
right?
What you're talking about, thedelegation piece and, going from
control based leadership toinfluence based leadership with
management based leadershipbeing in there and.
(18:16):
Someone was saying that it washard whenever it was her license
on the wall.
how many times do you hear that?
Kent (18:21):
it's not true though.
Erin (18:22):
I know it's not true.
I want you to answer thatquestion.
Kent (18:25):
Yeah.
So it's, um, it's a, it's an egothing for somebody to say that
the, the license on the wall isthe license of the community in
the company.
They're not typically gonna comeafter them.
Ed, although I, I'm inCalifornia.
In California, we are seeingsome of that happen where eds
(18:45):
are, are targeted, but it'sreally not typically the case.
I think that they over, theyoveremphasize their importance.
Erin (18:53):
Yeah.
And it's a nurse thing to saythat too.
And, and my response to her wasbecause I, you hear that all the
time and I have said it, and tosome degree I believe it in
Alabama.
They will take away anadministrator's license, but
that's a fear-based mindset,which will default you to
(19:14):
control based leadership, ifthat's even a term.
It may be control basedmanagement, I don't know.
But the regulations never saythat you have to control
everything.
Regulations and expectations saythat you have to respond
appropriately.
(19:35):
And where I have seen people getin trouble is when they don't
respond appropriately or it'sdelayed or it's ignored.
That's when your license becomesa problem.
Not in somebody making ahorrific judgment call and you
have no warning and you couldn'tdo anything about it.
Kent (19:55):
Sure.
I don't, certainly don't know.
I've, I've had an administrativecertificate in three different
states, California, Colorado,and Idaho.
And in all three of thosestates, I have found that the
state, uh, licensing analysts orinspectors or whatever you call
'em, really wanna work with you.
They're not out to get us.
Right.
And they're, they're really not.
And there's been a huge shift ina good way, even though kind of
(20:18):
the paradoxes that theregulations have become a lot
tougher.
in California, they've tripledin thickness over the years
since I've been doing this, ifnot quadrupled in thickness.
Yeah, but the licensing analystsreally wanna work, work with the
communities, and they're not,they're not out to get us.
Erin (20:35):
Yeah, it's true.
It's fear based, and when we'rescared we create all kinds of
stories.
Mm-hmm.
Kent (20:40):
And meaning,
Erin (20:41):
All right.
So which of the 11 points thatyou wrote.
Do you think that, Ooh, this isa hard question.
The corporate teamsmisunderstand the most.
Kent (20:51):
Gosh.
Erin (20:52):
I know, right?
But the
Kent (20:53):
corporate team misunderstands the most.
Erin (20:56):
Yeah.
Like they don't value, maybethey don't even value it as much
as they should.
Kent (21:01):
Well, I think, um, I think it's just so typical.
Unfortunate that when Eds arehired, a a, a company says very
proudly and boldly, you're gonnabe on call 24 7.
That's part of the job, and Ithink what a tragic thing to say
(21:22):
to somebody because nobody cansustain.
Yeah.
That kind of a schedule.
To carry your phone with you andhave it by your bed all the
time.
And the over-functioningworkaholic ish, ed, who doesn't
have very good limits orboundaries loves it because they
feel needed and important andthey've got their phone with
(21:44):
them all the time and they'relosing sleep, but they just
think that that's the, the bestthing until you can't do it
anymore.
Yeah.
Because that inevitably,inevitably comes.
which is why we're seeing peopleleave the industry in record
numbers because it's just, it'sso unfortunate and I think
there's gotta be, there's gottabe, there's good companies out
(22:05):
there and they've gotta bebecoming aware of, of this kind
of trend and, and hopefullyresponding to it.
Yeah.
Erin (22:12):
So good.
Okay.
This may be my favorite topicthat we're gonna talk about,
which is passion versus purpose.
And I just want you to give meyour, your, a monologue about
that.
Like what makes you So, I mean,I have a lot to say about this
topic, but I want to, I want, Ireally wanna go off of like why
you are so purposeful andpassionate about this topic.
(22:34):
And, I wanna hear what you haveto say.
Kent (22:37):
I've been so fortunate because I've been mentored by
really good people in theindustry and, uh, from David
Smith at one-on-One SalesAcademy, for many years have
been trained and mentored byhim.
My first boss at Ageist, DwayneClark, who was very good to me,
in fact, made me take a week offand doesn't count against
(22:57):
vacation.
Made me take a week off.
and after filling a buildingthat we opened, he just said,
you're tired.
You need a week off.
and he really looked after mywellbeing.
So I was really fortunate to bementored by some really good,
good people.
So that's the other, that's theother side of burnout.
So the, the burnout didn't comefrom those people, it came from
(23:18):
other situations, That wereunfortunate.
but I think what really carriespeople is they're well thought
through, developed convictionabout what their purpose is on
the earth.
Passion, I think, is a littlemore fluid.
Um, I can lose.
(23:39):
Or my passion can kind of waverat times, depending on a mood or
the circumstances or what'scoming my way, coming down the
pike.
but purpose is what carries usand along what, what comes along
with purposes or certain habitsthat we put into place.
I think I wrote an articleabout, six habits that are gonna
(24:01):
carry your organization tosuccess.
That's somewhere on, out thereon LinkedIn right now.
Mm-hmm.
Erin (24:07):
Yeah, I don't think I ever really knew purpose the way that
I do now when I was inside of acommunity.
And why, like I believed passionwas the engine.
I, I believed passion was myengine.
(24:28):
Um, it was always inside of me.
And it came out when I firstwalked into a community, it was
the thing that I knew that Ihad, that was my point of
difference.
And I, I confused passion withpurpose because like you said,
passion wanes.
And I feel like if I, if Iwasn't passionate about what I'm
(24:49):
doing was doing, then I wasn'tmean.
And so I always needed to bepassionate about it and I was,
and that's exhausting.
And then there's the other sidewhere you weaponize passion.
Where I fight for what I believeto be true, which is passionate
mentality.
And really what I had waspurpose.
(25:11):
That I viewed as passion and Iam a passionate being, but I
used it the wrong way,Interesting.
And I just didn't get it.
Kent (25:22):
Here's an example.
Probably 18 years or so ago, Itrained for several years for a
cross country bike race.
I rode on a team, a relay teamacross the country.
It was an actual race.
I trained for two solid years,and my purpose.
Was to be able to trainsufficiently so that I could do
(25:42):
that race and complete it in, ina reasonable time.
we had a goal, but that was ourpurpose.
But my passion for cycling wanedwith saddle soreness, with hot
weather, with rainy weather,with cold weather, with just my
energy level.
If I had relied on my passionfor cycling.
I probably, there's a lot oftimes I wouldn't have gotten on
(26:04):
the bike to train, but I had avery clear purpose in mind and
that kept me going.
Erin (26:10):
yeah.
So true.
So purpose is the engine andpassion is the fuel, like that.
and when I can de, when we candelegate those things out, it
makes sense, like my purpose.
Was to create an environmentwhere people wanted to live,
(26:31):
right?
A great place to work and live.
and I was passionate about that,but it wasn't like the, it's not
my passion, it's my purpose.
And that's a completelydifferent, mindset to have.
It's the being and the doing.
and I learned a lot of that frommy friend Anna Hall, who's now
(26:53):
working with Front Porch.
But she started the purposeequation and it, it being in
doing, it's a simple twodifferent words.
Right.
It's Oh, so good.
Okay.
So what advice would you givethe new Ed, who feels the weight
but not the joy yet of thepassion and the purpose?
(27:14):
Because with purpose comes joy.
Kent (27:17):
It does.
And that's, that's, that'snumber 11 on my 11 points about
being an ED is that it'sincredibly satisfying.
there's no better environmentfor me in my career.
I've done a variety of ofthings.
I've worked in mental health.
I've worked for a nonprofit,youth mentoring organization.
(27:39):
Working with seniors isincredibly rewarding.
Erin (27:42):
It really is.
Kent (27:43):
And I want, I wanted to make sure in that article that's
something that, that is noted.
Uh, it's because a lot of peoplefrom outside of that ask or say
to people like us, I don't knowhow you do it.
Because it just seems so well,it is difficult, and so I'm not
negating, all the things thatare difficult, but there's such
a positive, wonderful side to itthat mm-hmm.
(28:04):
That, uh, that really can carryyou.
Erin (28:07):
Yes, it's true.
So if you feel the weight, youdon't wanna, you don't wanna get
lost in the weight.
You have to look for the joy,and you have to remind yourself
of why you do this, and then beaware of your own.
Reasons why you're trying to bemore and doing more.
(28:29):
'cause you don't have to doeither.
You have to figure out what itis that's driving you to be,
need to be more and need to do
Kent (28:39):
more.
Yeah.
You know, really to be fair tothe corporate structure, the
people that the ED reports to upthe ladder.
they do get pretty, pretty heavywith initiatives and emphasis
and projects, but I never had aboss tell me I needed to work
more hours, right?
(29:00):
That came from inside of me.
My drive, as I've mentioned afew minutes ago, my belief that
I'm never doing enough and Ineed to do more.
So, to be fair, to the companiesI've worked for, which have been
several.
Nobody sat down with me andsaid, you need to work more.
Right.
If anything, they said, you needto walk away sooner at the end
(29:22):
of the day.
And that's a, a maturity thing,and that's becoming an adult to
have, uh, limits and boundariesaround our job and step away
from it.
And that's a tough lesson.
Erin (29:34):
and it's the area that the companies need to invest in
their leadership for.
Kent (29:37):
Mm-hmm.
Erin (29:40):
Because that's there's the root cause.
There
Kent (29:43):
it is.
That's
Erin (29:44):
why coaching is important.
That's why awareness isimportant.
That's why all the things thatwe're talking about is because
if you don't have this, theawareness to even call it out by
name, let alone the tools tocorrect it.
Then that's crashing andburning,
Kent (30:01):
Yeah.
I'm amazed with that.
Be this article it catch caughtfire out there on LinkedIn and,
um, I, I am.
Amazed, stunned by the number ofcomments.
People made their ownself-disclosure about their own
struggle to me with directmessages, messages on LinkedIn,
(30:23):
emails that I got from that.
I'm still getting from peoplethanking me for it.
And unfortunate, it'sunfortunate that, I mean, it's,
it's kind of a two-edged swordbecause it's great that people
can speak up.
There's a, there's now an,there's an avenue out.
There I can, gosh, somebody tookthe lid off this thing and now I
can, I can speak up.
But it's unfortunate thatthere's so many people who are
(30:44):
struggling.
Erin (30:45):
Yeah.
It's a real, it's a realopportunity for senior living to
invest in their leaders.
there's so much to say withthat.
Okay.
So when we talk about what needsto be changed in the side of the
industry, this is a big segue.
I mean.
People centered for leadershipas well as resident centered.
And now you are working with acompany that really is a people
(31:06):
centered, sales driven or,organization, one-on-one sales
academy, which I am trulyintrigued by.
And so we can do that for sales,but there's the operations
piece, which I believe sales andoperations are the same thing I
do.
Sales is influence, leadershipis influence, it's all the same.
(31:29):
so tell us more about that, andall the exciting things about
what Yeah, I
Kent (31:34):
think so.
I think, the credit goes toDavid Smith, who created the
company one-on-one and began todo training years and years ago
and had, uh.
Really frustrating, limitedsuccess, trying to fill
buildings.
Got, you know, going on, I thinkat least 30 years ago now.
he was really at the forefrontand he began to study the
(31:55):
psychology of change and howpeople make decisions and some
of the thinking with one-on-onesales.
Comes out of the recoverymovement and a practice called
Motivational Interviewing wherewe tap into people's own
motivations for change and nottelling them that they need to
change and make a decision.
(32:15):
And so it's, it's proven to bea.
very effective.
So David is looking at hislegacy, decided to create a
company that can train hundredsand thousands of salespeople out
there in the industry to movethe needle to, to be able to
reach more, to more residents ina very human, very empathic
(32:38):
trust building way to move themtowards a decision to move to
senior living.
Yeah.
So true.
It's the only way I, I was just,sorry.
I was gonna say, I was trainedby David back in 2012.
And it, it changed, radicallychanged my thinking about people
and about, about selling toseniors.
(32:59):
And I've been able to bementored and trained by David
and the, the one-on-one people.
So to be able to go to work forthem is a real privilege.
Oh
Erin (33:08):
yeah.
I've only known how to, I didn'thave the words like, the
motivation, their own personalmotivation, but I only know
relationship centered sales andrelationship centered
operations.
And when you talk about changemanagement or change motivation,
that applies to operations 100%right now as well.
(33:29):
You know, I mean, it's just.
Yeah, I fought change tooth andnail because I was scared that I
wouldn't be able to succeed inthe new way That was, that was
happening.
And had somebody simply justsaid to me, don't you wanna move
to the next level of yourcareer?
Just plugged into that one sideof me instead of like.
(33:52):
Change, forcing things.
It would've been a muchdifferent response, from a
highly passionate, fighter.
It would've been very, verydifferent,
Kent (34:02):
yeah.
Erin (34:03):
So what is your role with one-on-one Sales Academy and
what are the big, what are thebig, I mean, I see the benefit
of it.
I see it, I know it.
I like, I like to watch.
Their content on LinkedIn.
So
Kent (34:14):
yeah, it's, it's, um, it's, a great, it's gonna be a,
it's really just launching, justcoming.
July one was the launch of thecompany, so it's a whole package
of podcasts and videos, uh,webinars.
there's an an e-learning portalthat people would be able to get
on and, and do some training,and it's designed for the com,
(34:35):
uh, to be, uh, training andencouraging community level
salespeople, sales teams.
as kind of at your own pace,learning and training, what's
called prospect center sellingmodel that David developed and
is trademarked by David.
he's, he decided to pass on alegacy.
(34:55):
So he started this company and,um, it's, it is, it is catching
fire already and we haven't evenreally, we haven't really even
touched very many companies atthis point.
Erin (35:08):
Yeah, it's going to, I have that same philosophy, that
same legacy impact that I wantfrom the, for the operations
side.
And so I, I saw it and I justthought, hmm.
It's a great idea because I'mtrying to do it myself on the
Kent (35:24):
s it's gonna be, it's gonna be really fun.
He brought together a whole hostof people in March in St.
Louis to do a bunch of videorecording, recording podcasts,
and I got to be a part of that.
And I left there thinking, Iwanna work with David.
I've always, actually, alwayswanted to.
And so we created a way for meto do that and, and I'm, I'm
really fortunate to be able todo that.
Erin (35:47):
which is a good point as we close out this episode,
senior living is a big world,but it's very, very small.
Mm-hmm.
And so everywhere you go.
You have to think with the endin mind because you never know
who's going to be your boss.
You never know who's going tohave the next opportunity for
you to go, so you cannot thinksuch short term picture.
(36:10):
You really have to think from abig term, right?
Perspective,
Kent (36:13):
right?
Erin (36:13):
So you don't.
Limit yourself.
Is really important.
Kent (36:17):
We're really fortunate.
We've got Reed Davis on boardwho's the chief learning
Officer, and he's a mastertrainer of Prospect Center
selling.
He was with a Align and withSherpa doing their national
training and so he's, he's onboard with us as well.
Yeah.
So we're really fortunate tohave him.
Erin (36:34):
That's great.
That's great.
okay.
Leave us off with something.
you are working with one-on-oneSales Academy, you're also an
elevation.
You founder of ElevationCoaching, you do one-on-one
coaching.
I love to bring coaches on, my,my podcast because we do offer
insights and people need to hearthe story of, of lessons
(36:55):
learned, hard lessons learned,and and resilience wins on the
way back up.
What is something you'repassionate about?
You know, I know we talked alittle bit about what leaders
need to know, but what do you.
What are some wise words youhave for us to close
Kent (37:13):
this out?
Sure.
Well wise words, we'll see.
We'll let the listener decidethat.
Right, I am, um, veryenthusiastic about midlife
transitions and really they,they start.
Sometimes sooner than peoplethink.
It's not necessarily midlifecrisis, although some people go
through, what you'd call acrisis, but everybody faces
(37:34):
midlife.
Midlife transitions with theircareer.
Maybe with a relationship withkids, there's oftentimes a
period of disillusionment orquestioning, uh, asking
themselves what's next.
Sometimes people asking, is thisall there is?
and I think that when people arespec senior living, specifically
executive directors for example,and regional people say, is this
(37:58):
all there is because I'm tired.
There's a way through to learnto put limits on the job, to get
some help, whether that's hiringa coach, going to therapy,
talking to a friend, um, andeven.
Even taking the risk and sittingdown with your boss and saying,
I, I need help in order to makeit in, in this job.
(38:21):
Because I think that, I thinkthat there's starting to be
openings in companies wherepeople are, are open to hearing
what's really going on in thelife of an ed.
Erin (38:32):
Yeah.
So true.
It's so true.
Don't, I hate to
Kent (38:36):
see, I hate to see people leaving the industry
unnecessarily or out of, out ofbitterness or burnout.
Erin (38:42):
Yeah.
Oh, that's good.
Unless you take the scary leapto invest in yourself with a
coach or a mentor, you don'tknow how life changing it can
be.
But you have to be ready.
I work with three differentcompanies now and I told one of
the CEOs, don't give me somebodywho doesn't want it.
(39:04):
Okay.
It has to be somebody who wantsit and they don't even know what
they want because coaching issuch a foreign practice.
It was for me.
but I, I took the leap and itchanged my life.
It did.
And I recently just saw a quotethat says.
And this was me inside of acommunity.
(39:25):
If you are your own mentor, youare being run, you know you will
fail because you only know whatyou know.
Yeah.
You only know what you know.
Kent (39:34):
Yeah.
Just continue to live out of ourblind spots that way.
Yeah.
Erin (39:40):
Well, okay.
Where can they find you?
more about you, Ken?
Kent (39:44):
uh, one on one-on-one dot com slash academy.
One-on-one dot com slash academyand uh, elevation coaching.net.
Erin (39:55):
Okay.
Alright, well thank you so muchfor Thank you.
giving us your wisdom andtalking about this and all the
content that you're putting outon LinkedIn.
It's so refreshing.
We appreciate it.
And again, coaching is somethingthat is worth investing in.
Kent is a avail, is available.
I am available.
We have.
leadership courses, the EDlaunch lab.
(40:18):
Invest in yourself because youare worth the investment and you
will take yourself wherever yougo.
That's the key thing toremember.
I like it.
Kent (40:32):
Thank you very much.
Thanks for having me on today,Erin.
I appreciate it.
Erin (40:35):
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
Have a great day everyone.
Always aspire for more for you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.