June 5, 2025 • 37 mins
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In this episode of the Aspire for More with Erin podcast, Erin and guest Malinda Schulte, professor and founder of Ms. Healthcare Consulting, discuss strategies to help leaders in senior living avoid burnout and empower their teams. They explore the importance of not assuming others share the same knowledge, categorizing tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed, and fostering a psychologically safe environment.
Malinda shares her personal journey and practical tips, including creating an effective tier system for task management and emphasizing basic training and clarity within leadership roles. The conversation aims to equip leaders with the mindset and tools to create a sustainable and effective work environment, ultimately enhancing both personal and team performance.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:38 Guest Introduction: Melinda Schultice
01:40 Realizing Assumptions in Leadership
04:23 Creating a Culture of Empowerment
05:56 The Importance of Psychological Safety
08:13 Personal Leadership Journeys
23:19 Prioritizing Tasks: Tiers of Work
33:00 Final Thoughts and Advice for Leaders
35:38 Conclusion and Contact Information
Here is the link to the New ED's Playbook Course: https://growyoursalesskills.thinkific.com/courses/the-new-eds-playbook-creating-an-impactful-community-culture
Here is Malinda Shultice's LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/malinda-shultice-dhs-mpa-lnha-43225052/
Connect with me on LinkedIn
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Join my email list where I will lift you up, and send tactile advice weekly to support you to grow your experience in your senior living career.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin (00:00):
Welcome back to the Aspire for More with Erin podcast.
That's here to educate, equip,and empower the next generation
of Senior Living Leaders.
Today's episode is for everyleader who has ever ended the
day feeling like they gaveeverything.
And still left with more on thelist tomorrow.
We're talking about how to geteverything done without getting
(00:21):
depleted in the process, and howstopping the cycle might start
with a single mindset shift.
Stop assuming people know whatyou know and start building from
the ground up.
That's a pretty powerful phrase.
That is very powerful.
Yes, I'm joined by thethoughtful and fierce Melinda
(00:42):
Schulte.
Someone who's walked the path,felt the pressure, and found
ways to shift it.
She is a professor and founderof Ms.
Healthcare Consulting.
Together we're gonna beunpacking two big ideas, tears
of work.
How to categorize tasks.
So not everything feels like afire and training from the
(01:04):
basics.
Why assuming knowledge backfiresand how clarity can create
freedom.
So take a deep pause, a deepbreath.
You want to be in the rightframe of mind.
To understand that if you aretired of being a first responder
and the best fixer for everyissue, if you want to delegate
(01:26):
with confidence and if you cravemore freedom in your leadership
day, this episode.
Is your permission slip to doso?
let's dig in.
Melinda, I want you to go backto what you said in our prep
call, that it took you years torealize you were assuming people
(01:50):
knew things you never actuallytaught them.
Tell us how that realizationchanged your leadership and your
stress levels, because I havebeen there too.
Malinda (02:02):
Well, Aaron, thanks for having me on today.
I feel blessed and honored to beon, and these are not actually
concepts that I've realizeduntil later on in my career.
no one really tells you earlieron when you become an
administrator, what thisactually looks like.
You learn the hard way.
As time goes on, you start tounderstand better your own needs
(02:24):
as well as that of yourresidents and your team.
And once I actually caught on tosome of the diminishing behavior
that I was doing for myself, Iwas already down a pretty dark
pathway.
That's actually what segued meinto starting my own consulting
company, to be honest, because Irealized that I had made so many
(02:46):
errors along the way and hadfailed so many times that I
wanted to try to alleviate ortake some of that from other
people's plates if I could help.
And one of the big concepts thatI really focus on is trying to
make that shift like you hadsuggested, from depleting to
empowerment I had gained allthis knowledge along the way
(03:07):
from various scenarios, whethergood or bad, And it just became
second nature to me to leadassuming that everyone knew and
was on that same journey withme, when in fact that is not the
case at all.
Erin (03:20):
Mm-hmm.
And as
Malinda (03:20):
the administrator, you wear a lot of hats.
if someone's on vacation, youbecome the social worker.
If you are, short, clinicalleader, you take the nonclinical
tasks in addition to your own.
So over time you justaccidentally take on different
roles and become a subjectmatter expert in a lot of
different things.
But what we fail to do isbecause we're so busy putting
(03:42):
out fires while also trying tothink strategically in big
picture, at the same time, weforget that not everyone knows
what we know.
And so one of the things that Iactually.
Started to realize betweenmyself and my clinical leader,
my director of nursing, was howfrequently her and I were doing
this.
(04:04):
And we were lucky to not have alot of turnover.
So it's not like we scaredpeople away, but what we were
realizing was that people weresaying that they didn't always
feel like they had been equippedwith the all of the tools in
their toolbox to do what theyneeded to effectively.
And so what we really looked at,her and I is we had to stop
(04:30):
assuming the basics.
So what did that actually looklike?
it sounds great in theory.
What we had to figure out how toput that into practice.
And so one of the things that wedid was.
During orientation, whetheryou'd been a C, let's say it's a
CNA, maybe someone has been aCNA for 30 years, or maybe
they'd only been, three weeksthey had just passed their exam.
(04:52):
We didn't assume that, the 30year veteran or the three week
newbie knew any of.
The same information coming in.
We started them fresh with thebasic skill sets that we felt
like they needed to besuccessful regardless of her or
I were in the building.
And so it really started at thatorientation point.
(05:14):
because we were failing fromthat point on, like we were
failing people coming into thebuilding.
'cause you're so apt to try toget them on the floor or get
that position filled.
And you fail to realize that ifyou don't give that person
space, to grow and give them alittle bit of time to get their
sea legs underneath of them,you're already starting off in a
(05:36):
rocky way.
And so we had to stop thatcycle.
And so it really started withorientation.
But also the other thing is itdidn't just stop there, that's
where it began.
But no matter how long a personwas with us, the other thing we
realized was, creating thatenvironment of psychological
safety.
And I.
(05:57):
Giving people the permission tosay, I don't know, without the
repercussion attached to that orthe shame, was the other way to
continue through that practiceof not assuming people knew
things.
Because I can look back at mycareer and there's a few times
that really stick out to me.
And senior vice president typepeople or regional directors,
(06:18):
they probably mean, well, theyhave a lot on their plates too,
but they'll say things in a semicondescending way or very
flippantly, and they've alreadyassumed that you should know X,
Y, and Z.
So I can immediately take myselfback to how diminished and
depleted and embarrassed I feltin those moments for not knowing
(06:39):
something basic.
And I never wanted anyone elseto feel.
The way that I had been made to,to feel in those moments.
And so really we had to figureout how to find enough time in
our days also to take thingsback down to this basic element
because in long-term care,there's just never enough time
(07:00):
in a day.
There's just never enough time.
And so we had to figure out howto carve out intentional, five
minutes here, 10 minutes there.
How can we figure out how tostrategically make sure everyone
on our team or in thatparticular position knows how to
have the tools that they need intheir toolbox to get their job
done well, once we took the timeto actually do that, you'd be
(07:23):
amazed.
We just got less questionsbecause people felt like they
had what they needed to do theirjob.
And they knew we were there as aresource.
That ongoing education neverstopped, but people felt
empowered to go do the jobbecause we had given them what
they needed in the first place.
And that's, that began with usrealizing we had to stop
(07:45):
assuming.
Everyone knew anything abouttheir position coming in.
So giving them that baseknowledge and that room to be
okay with saying, I don't know,and creating that safe space and
us not judging them for notknowing something really helped
to create a culture ofempowerment, which really, made
(08:08):
our jobs easier, so that'sreally where it all began
Erin (08:11):
I have lived a life.
My sister, we used to get intofights all the time and she
would call me the assumer and Iwould say, no, I'm the knower.
Oh, I know I'm the knower.
But as I have grown, I haverealized I have assumed a lot in
my life.
one of them was when I firstbecame an executive director.
(08:34):
I was raised in a little bit ofa sheltered, like small school
environment.
so where I went to school, a lotof people thought like me, or at
least I thought, they thoughtlike me And so when I entered
into an executive director role,I never, it never even crossed
my mind that people weren'tmotivated like me.
(08:57):
Or passionate like me, actuallycame to work because it was a
job and not necessarily becauseevery day I, every day felt like
Christmas because we wereimpacting people's lives.
Like I was speaking a differentlanguage than most people, and
it wasn't until I realized Youthink what?
(09:17):
even people that I had workedwith for years, but on their
level, like when I was theconcierge at that same community
or when I was the sales andmarketing at that same
community, I didn't have aperspective that an executive
director has.
And so I would look at thingsand I'm like, you didn't know
that.
And so you realize that you dohave to slow down and back way
(09:40):
up.
To get everybody on the samepage, you do have to slow down
so you can speed up because it'sthe fundamentals that people
need to know.
Yes.
And I was even recently talkingto A CEO and he was just like,
some people you hire don't evenknow what a spend down is.
And now how many times do weassume that people know what a
spend down is whenever they workinside assisted living, senior
(10:02):
living in general.
When he made that comment, I wasjust like, oh, I never guess.
I never would've assumed that.
Malinda (10:09):
that's exactly what it is because it's never anything
complex and it's always thebasic fundamentals, but people
have such this feeling of shamebecause they don't wanna look
stupid for asking somethingfundamental.
But then that just snowballsbecause that person, they may
have one question and then twoweeks later it's now segued into
(10:29):
2, 3, 4, 5, and six.
And before you know it, theyhave this whole slew.
Things they don't understand, ormaybe they're messing up some of
your processes, not because theydon't want to do it the right
way, but because they just don'tknow and they don't feel
comfortable asking.
But yeah, it's so basic.
It does not, and it also doesn'thave to take a lot of time.
That's the other thing.
(10:50):
As leaders, we don't have a lotof time, but if you can take a
few moments, even once an hour,figure out how you can bring
clarity to someone else's day,it really alleviates a lot.
From your plate and it reallyhelps them to feel better about
their day to day.
And the other thing that yousaid that I really like is it
(11:11):
was an eye-opening experience torealize not everyone felt the
same vigor that I did about myjob.
Not that I felt that vigor everymoment of every day, but the
reality is I had to figure outpretty quickly that I had to
meet people where they are, Intheir journey.
Because the majority of peoplewere not on my boat.
(11:32):
Whatever boat that looked like.
Maybe I was on my own island atsome points, and that's okay.
I can accept that.
But my day-to-day also gotbetter when I realized I needed
to meet people where they are.
And I was on a betterunderstanding just with them in
general when I knew what theywere coming for.
some were coming for theresidents, some were coming from
(11:53):
the interactions from theirpeers.
Some just wanted the paycheck,which is okay too.
but yeah, that was the otheralleviating factor was just
accepting people where they'reat in their journey for why
they're working with you.
Erin (12:04):
Yeah.
You can't lead people if you arenot where they are.
You can be walking and you canturn around like, Hey everybody,
this is where we're going, orWe're on this bus and nobody's
on the bus because.
you weren't even where theywere.
You know what I mean?
I talk a lot about control basedleadership, management based
leadership and influence basedleadership, and there is a huge
(12:26):
difference when you controleverything.
You can get a lot of doers Ifthey have the right attitude,
but you're not gonna get a lotof leaders who are going to
alleviate some of those bigconcerns.
and I recently just to a podcastwhere it was all about the power
of questions.
(12:47):
And if you are going to go wherepeople are, you have to.
Figure out where they are.
And by doing that is by askingquestions.
And in that growth environmentthat you created, because you
were able to identify shame.
And I want people to understandsomething inside of a community
(13:08):
in my life, shame was a hugebarrier for me.
Huge.
I didn't realize that untilthree years ago.
So your most defensive person,your most obstinate person, your
most defiant person, thosepeople have great hearts that
(13:29):
are trapped underneath a lot ofshame.
And a lot of disappointment anda lot of fear of doing exactly
what you said, disappointingyou, or not being vulnerable
enough to say, I don't know.
If you can create theenvironment that says.
Ask away.
No question is a stupidquestion.
Your responses can actuallymirror that Then you're going to
(13:55):
see growth happen over time.
Yes.
obviously you saw it, right?
Malinda (14:00):
Yes, I definitely saw growth, especially just people
feeling empowered.
I am the type of leader that Ialways thought it was great if
people wanted to stay and workwith me for the direct
trajectory of their career.
But I guess my goal always wasand still is, my goal is for
people to feel like they cangrow and spread their wings and
go do whatever it is that theyfeel like they want to tackle
(14:23):
next.
And so you're right by askingthe right questions and giving
them the right tools to besuccessful and creating that
psychologically safeenvironment, people feel like
they can be their optimal selfand that, but it does take time.
this is a daily concertedeffort.
There's really no quick fix toany of this And I had to learn a
lot of this the hard way.
(14:44):
by just, at times I probablywas.
Too controlling or maybe I wastoo lax.
while you're trying to find thathappy medium as a leader, your
team grows through those painswith you.
But just having, creating thatenvironment really makes people
just wanna stay even on thetough days.
(15:05):
They don't wanna flee during thedifficult moments in long-term
care because they feel like youare there to support them on
their journey, not only just asa professional, but just as an
individual.
And I think that really says alot.
we saw success in that modelbecause we.
Realized we saw leaders as thepeople, that they were not just
(15:27):
the leader that was coming towork doing their management job
or the CNA, doing their CNA joband then going home.
So once we started to recognizethat humility piece of it too,
and giving people the tools thatthey needed, it really changed
the culture for the better.
Erin (15:42):
Did you say, let me make sure I heard this right, that
you.
Wanted to be like a growthcatalyst for people that would
not even be there long term.
But to teach the skills thatcould get them where they wanted
to go in the next chapter oftheir life.
Like you literally had thatmindset.
Malinda (16:03):
And I read a book, I think it was called The Dream
Manager, if I remember, is byMatthew Kelly.
I had one of my regionals giveit to me one time, and it really
stuck with me and I didn'trealize I was that until much
later on in my career again.
But as much as I wanted peopleto stay with me, I always wanted
them to be where they wanted tobe.
And so even if our organizationoutside of the community, I had
(16:25):
a plan operations manager and hewanted to go be a regional, but
there was just never going to bean opening in our community or
for our company.
There just never was going tobe, and it took him a while to
come to that realization.
And I had since left, but he hadmessaged me about three months
ago and said, I finally took theplunge and I went, became a
regional in another.
company I didn't ever foreseehim leaving, but he had said,
(16:48):
it's a lot of the tools thatyou've given me, just the
confidence to take the plunge.
And that is what made me thehappiest, being a leader was
watching other people do better.
I was never really that worriedabout how well Melinda was doing
it was I just got enjoymentseeing other people.
Move on and for various things,CNAs that, I had a very, diverse
(17:10):
population that worked for me.
I would see, individuals comehere that, English may have been
their fourth or fifth language,and then they'd come to me a
year or two later and say, Iwanna go to nursing school to
see those people go throughnursing school and then someone
end up at the hospital, someoneend up in clinic, some went back
home to do things.
It was just so fulfilling towatch them become that person
(17:31):
they wanted to be.
Obviously I always wanted themselfishly to stay with me if we
could make that work, but I justwanted them to be happy
ultimately.
And that's what I think Irealized, helped to keep my cup
full, on the really tough daysand especially before I had
discovered that I was on my.
That I was in the burnout realm.
(17:53):
it took me a while to realizethat's where I was and that I
was heading in that direction.
But what really kept me groundedand probably kept me as an
administrator, especially thelast few years, was seeing
people succeed in whatever areait was they wanted to be in.
Erin (18:09):
Yeah, because that's a different mindset than A control
based leader who won't invest inpeople because they want them to
stay.
Yeah.
But that doesn't build a growthculture that keeps you very
busy.
it keeps you the center of thestory and you certainly don't
want to be the center of thestory all the time.
Because that is verychallenging, and it's similar to
(18:33):
mine, like I wanted to be thespringboard for somebody's
platform like.
If you were a CNA and you wantedto be a nurse, I just want you
to know that you can still workhere and you're gonna get a lot
of experience here that mostnurses in nursing school are not
gonna have.
one of the proudest successstories is we had a caregiver.
(18:55):
who became an LPN, and then shewas able to graduate to be an
LPN at the community.
And then she was in school to beher rn.
And then she was able to assumean RN position at the community.
And then she was going to schoolto be a nurse practitioner.
Wow.
And she had the opportunity to,at some point come back and.
(19:23):
B, like a medical director ofthe community at some point.
that was a possibility forsometime down the future,
depending on her path.
But how amazing is that?
Because you know that one personYeah.
Has a lot of insights from manydifferent perspectives.
Because of how she started, andit's pretty powerful.
(19:44):
It's, that's a pretty powerfuljourney.
And then to not even know whatseeds you planted in people that
are doing professionally,something amazing now that
you're not even aware of.
Yes.
'cause you wanted, you had anintentionality behind saying,
I'm going to invest in peopleand I know they might not stay.
Malinda (20:07):
Yes.
And.
The reality is when you are inthe middle of being that control
based leader, you'reinadvertently crippling people
and making them dependent onyou.
And it's exhausting when youbecome, when you are that type
of leader.
Oftentimes people, some people Ithink do it.
(20:27):
Intentionally and others, Ithink it's not intentional.
They're just scared to let go,and then the building suffers
for it, or the community suffersfor it.
So they might have greatintentions, but it's just poor
execution.
but once you can realize that,honestly, I think I always
wanted a leader like that forme, and I don't think I ever
really, I had it to some degree,but never fully the way that I
(20:50):
hoped.
So I wanted to morph into what Iwas always searching for,
honestly.
Yeah.
Erin (20:54):
Yeah.
The term psychological safety, Ifeel is like a buzzword.
But think about your career.
'cause the, for those of you whoare listening, more than likely
you work inside senior living.
And think about the people whohave caused problems during
surveys or during familyconflict, within the community.
(21:18):
they're upset about somethingand they don't know what to do
and they make the situationworse.
That is no psychological safety,and you are reaping the benefits
of no psychological safety atthat moment.
But if you create psychologicalsafety where that caregiver,
that maintenance person, thatserver, they know that it's okay
(21:39):
to say, I don't know.
Yeah.
And they know that it's okay tosay.
I will go find the answer and beright back.
Yes.
You have just deescalatedsomething that could have gotten
really big.
Malinda (21:51):
Yes.
Erin (21:52):
And that is psychological safety because they know it's
okay to say, I don't know.
As long as they have appropriateaction and follow up afterwards.
Malinda (22:01):
100%.
And it was also, even if it wentso far as during a survey,
someone messes up.
Yes.
it's that relationship, thathumility that the surveyor and
all of us there we're all justhuman trying to do what's right
for the people that are livingin that community.
And if your team member comes toyou and says, I messed up.
(22:21):
How you react as a leader canreally make or break that
person, for their current selfand their future self because
you may make them more leery togo and approach, their future
leaders.
Outside of you if you scare themand make them feel that shame.
but yeah, psychological safetyis such a buzzword.
You're right, but it's theactual humanness of the job that
(22:44):
we are injecting back in thatgives people the okay to say, I
don't know, or to say, I messedup.
How can I correct it?
And that's what's important inour day to day.
Erin (22:56):
Yeah.
I think to sum up this sectionof the podcast.
A really good summary isassuming knowledge creates
confusion and teaching thebasics builds capacity.
Yes.
Like if you could create a oneliner for that, that's it.
Malinda (23:14):
We're not gonna get better than that.
Erin (23:18):
I really don't think we would.
Point number two that you areuniquely qualified to talk about
here is the tiers of work,right?
It's really aboutprioritization.
Which I think gets lost becausewe are constantly, if we're
controlling everything, there isno tier.
(23:38):
Everything is important.
I heard on Instagram recently, Ithought this was really cool.
It caught my ear.
My attention is the calendar isnot for.
Prioritizing yourresponsibilities.
Hold on, lemme think about thisfor a minute.
It's prioritizing your, gosh,what did it say?
(24:01):
It's prioritizing like what youwant out of your life, right?
We assume you ranking everythingfrom most important to least
important.
But I think it's, you know, astwo sufferers of burnout.
I think for me, I will speak.
For me, I didn't prioritize whatwas energy giving to me.
(24:26):
What was important from apersonal standpoint, I didn't
prioritize my growth, I didn'tprioritize my mental health.
all of that was on at the bottomof everything else that I felt
was more important Your calendarshould start with prioritizing
what makes you a better you.
(24:48):
And if you don't understand thevalue of that, you don't
understand the value of yourteam because the value of your
team.
I like to say that a communityis just a community until a good
leader steps in and makes it agreat place to live and work.
But a good leader can losethemselves in not understanding.
The prioritization of staying agood leader, of being a good
(25:12):
leader because everything elsebecomes more important.
So not everything is tier one,and if everything feels urgent,
nothing is strategic, there's nointentionality to it.
And just for an example, this issomething that I did, I got
(25:33):
better at, but my husband reallystinks at right now.
a vacation.
How many times, Did I say, I'mnot gonna plan this until I know
that everything is going good inthe community.
and then I know that I can walkaway.
And then the week that youwanted comes up and somebody's
(25:54):
sick or somebody's something andyou didn't buy anything.
It's like you have toprioritize.
That vacation six months inadvance, you have to buy the
cruise things.
And so no matter what happens,you say, I can't get out of it.
That's a prioritization of howto keep you sane first.
Yes.
Anyways, I'm done.
(26:15):
Melinda, take the floor.
Malinda (26:17):
My mind races when you say what you just did because I
don't know about you, but Ialways had to take my work phone
with me on vacations.
Erin (26:26):
Yeah.
Malinda (26:27):
And that was a stark reality when I left actively
working as an executive directorwas.
For a very long time.
I was never just myself.
I was never just Melinda.
I was always Melinda, theadministrator that's on call.
And yes, I had people in placethat would handle things for me,
(26:50):
but you can never be justyourself.
And that's where I failed, tofind boundaries that made sense
for me.
And I always prioritizedeveryone else's needs.
Above my own because I so badlywanted everyone, including
residents, family members, myteam, I wanted everyone to have
(27:11):
a good, positive workingexperience.
but I forgot to remember myselfin that equation and completely
lost myself.
I don't know if you've everwatched a man on the inside, but
yeah.
Executive director D when shewould put her headphones on and
land at her desk, that was me.
But I would turn the lights offtoo, because I was so
overstimulated by everyoneneeding something from me.
(27:32):
I'm like the parent that had,triplets that needed something
all at once.
That's what I felt like, and itwasn't even necessarily them
asking because they didn't knowhow to do their job.
It was just because I hadcreated such close relationships
with people constantly wereneeding or wanting to talk with
me for about various things, andthat was both a blessing and a
curse because in the midst ofall of it, I still had to figure
(27:54):
out how to get my work done.
So I love this quote.
It's like trying to run amarathon at a sprint pace every
single day.
That sums up, especially thelast few years of my life Yes.
In senior living.
And I look back, it honestlytook me six to nine months to
decompress.
Erin (28:11):
Yeah.
Malinda (28:12):
And just breathe.
because when you were justconstantly running on such high
levels of cortisol for years ina row, it really takes a lot out
of a person.
Yes.
And but in the midst of it, Ihad figured out a process that
really worked for me.
And I, this all stemmed because,I'd say midway through my
career, I was having some carwork done and I remember my
(28:33):
husband was dropping me off atwork and he was like, what
doesn't you do all day?
And I said, that's a very loadedquestion.
I don't think you want me tothat how dare you asked.
I don't think you wanna know,nor would you probably
understand.
And I don't mean that in acondescending way, but I don't
think you would even know.
but I said essentially, I'lljust give you in a nutshell, my
survival guide.
(28:55):
And I broke different tasks intodifferent tiers based off of how
much leeway I knew.
Or severity?
so tier one, I absolutely couldnot leave the building that day.
I knew that I could not leaveuntil those things were done.
So for example, like if I had toturn in a self-report to the
state or, I had a familycomplaint, I knew I needed to
(29:16):
deal with that in that day.
or if we needed to terminate orget someone hired in the system,
like those were urgent mattersthat I knew I couldn't leave
without.
and then there's that middletier of I got a few days to
figure this out.
maybe that was something to dowith billing or, something
admission related, somethingthat is not so urgent that you
can't tackle it, in a day ortwo.
(29:38):
And then there was that like.
Third tier of this sounds great.
And if I actually get a coupleof hours to myself to breathe,
maybe I'll work on my emergencypreparedness plan, or maybe I
will come up with my team with anew Oppy project.
Something along those lines.
But, at the beginning of yourcareer and even up until the
middle of it, everything feltlike a sprint.
(29:59):
And then, during the pandemic.
It was even more of a sprintbecause you had all these added
layers of requirement, but yetstill had to keep everyone safe
and get everything done, andthen figure out how to keep
yourself sane in the midst ofall of it.
so I had to create this system.
I, it happened organically.
It's not like I stole it fromanyone.
(30:19):
I just realized that's how I hadlearned to cope.
Was creating this internalprocess, but then I actually
created a chart for myself andit helped to keep me on track
because I'm a visual learner andI need to see for my own sense
of peace and for my ownsatisfaction, I like to see
things crossed off a list, makesme feel like I've accomplished
(30:40):
something.
No matter how small the task, itstill made me feel good inside.
So that tier system was how Iexplained it to'em.
I have on fire, can't leave.
there's maybe just we're at abonfire level and now, this is
smoldering down here.
I can deal with the ashes later,and he, that made sense to him.
And then I thought, that'sreally a helpful tool probably
(31:00):
for new administrators or peoplethat dunno how to prioritize or
they're new in the role, ormaybe, new to a company.
it just helped me to prioritize.
How to survive my day to day,especially in those really
taxing times before I realizedhow burned out I was.
It helped me to stay in the rolelonger, honestly.
Erin (31:19):
Yeah.
especially for a new executivedirector or a new director of
nursing, honestly.
you gotta do what only you cando first.
That's like tier one man.
Yeah.
Stop giving tier two, tier threestuff.
That's should be tier onebecause what only you can do has
(31:40):
to be done by you.
So if you can get that donefirst, then everything else will
be prioritized based on urgency.
Sure.
But if you say what's requiredto be done by you for last.
What are you giving it?
What is your boss gonna see?
What is the home office gonnasee?
(32:01):
What are your families gonnasee?
and your managers are living itup because Yeah.
you're doing it all for them.
When you should be doing what's,can only be done by you.
They should be doing what canonly be done by them, in a
perfect world scenario first,and then all of a sudden we're
available to the people thatneed us to help solve their
(32:22):
problems.
Malinda (32:23):
Yeah, I agree.
And you did it, you said it insuch a palatable way.
honestly, it goes back toprioritizing your own sense of
wellbeing.
Yes.
Which also in turn helps yourteam and the community.
That's where I got lost in that.
I got lost in that.
And it's hard to find your wayout of it or dig yourself back
(32:46):
out of it when you're in themidst of it.
But looking in now, that'sexactly what needs to occur.
If you can prioritize your ownwork, everything kind of falls
into place because everyone canthen tackle what they're
responsible for in their sphereof influence.
Yeah.
Erin (33:00):
As we wrap up this episode for the burned out leaders and
the new leaders coming in, whatwould you say for the exhausted,
overwhelmed, and doesn't knowwhere to begin, leader, based on
our conversation today and nowyour hindsight viewpoint?
What would be the top advice toStart their mindset shift for
(33:25):
the two things that we talkedabout today, which is
prioritizing the tiers the mostappropriate way.
And to stop assuming that peopleknow what they don't know, what
would be your first coachingstep to them?
Malinda (33:40):
My first coaching step would be take it back to the
basics.
Because honestly, the basics aregoing to help you feel
connected, authentically andemotionally with your team and
your residents.
So those quick checkpoints ofmaking sure people have the
tools they need, getting to knowthem on a more personal level,
(34:02):
those things matter.
Those are the actual, heart andsoul of what we do day to day,
but then also taking it back tothe basics on what tasks you can
and can't control in a day.
And getting what is in yoursphere of influence to get done.
And making sure your team, theyknow what they need to complete,
(34:22):
can really keep you off of thattrajectory of feeling
overwhelmed, burned out, lostall of that.
So really.
If I could sum it up, lookingback on my 10 year career,
taking it back to the basics andkeeping it there, it does not
have to be complex and it helpsto keep the humanness in the
community and everything runningpretty efficiently.
(34:46):
Honestly, that would be myparting words,
Erin (34:48):
absolutely simple is not easy.
And I think that we make thingscomplicated because we want to
look smart And capable.
The more simple it is, thesmarter it actually is.
I didn't realize that to somedegree you were proud that you
(35:10):
worked 14 hours, three days in arow.
And then, you wore this.
Farmer that said, I'm workingall the time.
I'm kicking butt and takingnames and like you didn't
realize, like that's notsuccess.
The simpler you can make it, themore basic that you can keep
things at the fundamentals inany kind of sports, that is
(35:33):
where the team with the bestfundamentals will win.
Malinda (35:36):
Yes, absolutely.
Erin (35:38):
if people want to get to know you more And figure out how
to work with you, where do youlike to send them?
Malinda (35:47):
So I have a website, melinda sice.com.
Very simple.
I'm also a LinkedIn junkie, soif you look me up on LinkedIn,
Melinda Sice is my name onLinkedIn and I am quite active
on LinkedIn.
So those would be the two bestways to get ahold of me, see me
on my website or go find me onLinkedIn.
Erin (36:05):
Yes.
Thank you for sharing this.
the frameworks, the back to thebasics.
I hope this message gets out tothe people who needs to hear it.
And if you are saying that's notright, don't knock it until you
try it.
Because it can certainly changethings for sure.
Yes.
All right.
(36:25):
Thank you for today.
listeners, thank you for yourtime.
Go check out Melinda's websiteand as always, aspire for more
for you because when you ownyour story, you can create your
future.
Thank you so much.
I.
Welcome back to the Aspire for More with Erin podcast.
That's here to educate, equip,and empower the next generation
of Senior Living Leaders.
Today's episode is for everyleader who has ever ended the
day feeling like they gaveeverything.
And still left with more on thelist tomorrow.
We're talking about how to geteverything done without getting
(00:21):
depleted in the process, and howstopping the cycle might start
with a single mindset shift.
Stop assuming people know whatyou know and start building from
the ground up.
That's a pretty powerful phrase.
That is very powerful.
Yes, I'm joined by thethoughtful and fierce Melinda
(00:42):
Schulte.
Someone who's walked the path,felt the pressure, and found
ways to shift it.
She is a professor and founderof Ms.
Healthcare Consulting.
Together we're gonna beunpacking two big ideas, tears
of work.
How to categorize tasks.
So not everything feels like afire and training from the
(01:04):
basics.
Why assuming knowledge backfiresand how clarity can create
freedom.
So take a deep pause, a deepbreath.
You want to be in the rightframe of mind.
To understand that if you aretired of being a first responder
and the best fixer for everyissue, if you want to delegate
(01:26):
with confidence and if you cravemore freedom in your leadership
day, this episode.
Is your permission slip to doso?
let's dig in.
Melinda, I want you to go backto what you said in our prep
call, that it took you years torealize you were assuming people
(01:50):
knew things you never actuallytaught them.
Tell us how that realizationchanged your leadership and your
stress levels, because I havebeen there too.
Malinda (02:02):
Well, Aaron, thanks for having me on today.
I feel blessed and honored to beon, and these are not actually
concepts that I've realizeduntil later on in my career.
no one really tells you earlieron when you become an
administrator, what thisactually looks like.
You learn the hard way.
As time goes on, you start tounderstand better your own needs
(02:24):
as well as that of yourresidents and your team.
And once I actually caught on tosome of the diminishing behavior
that I was doing for myself, Iwas already down a pretty dark
pathway.
That's actually what segued meinto starting my own consulting
company, to be honest, because Irealized that I had made so many
(02:46):
errors along the way and hadfailed so many times that I
wanted to try to alleviate ortake some of that from other
people's plates if I could help.
And one of the big concepts thatI really focus on is trying to
make that shift like you hadsuggested, from depleting to
empowerment I had gained allthis knowledge along the way
(03:07):
from various scenarios, whethergood or bad, And it just became
second nature to me to leadassuming that everyone knew and
was on that same journey withme, when in fact that is not the
case at all.
Erin (03:20):
Mm-hmm.
And as
Malinda (03:20):
the administrator, you wear a lot of hats.
if someone's on vacation, youbecome the social worker.
If you are, short, clinicalleader, you take the nonclinical
tasks in addition to your own.
So over time you justaccidentally take on different
roles and become a subjectmatter expert in a lot of
different things.
But what we fail to do isbecause we're so busy putting
(03:42):
out fires while also trying tothink strategically in big
picture, at the same time, weforget that not everyone knows
what we know.
And so one of the things that Iactually.
Started to realize betweenmyself and my clinical leader,
my director of nursing, was howfrequently her and I were doing
this.
(04:04):
And we were lucky to not have alot of turnover.
So it's not like we scaredpeople away, but what we were
realizing was that people weresaying that they didn't always
feel like they had been equippedwith the all of the tools in
their toolbox to do what theyneeded to effectively.
And so what we really looked at,her and I is we had to stop
(04:30):
assuming the basics.
So what did that actually looklike?
it sounds great in theory.
What we had to figure out how toput that into practice.
And so one of the things that wedid was.
During orientation, whetheryou'd been a C, let's say it's a
CNA, maybe someone has been aCNA for 30 years, or maybe
they'd only been, three weeksthey had just passed their exam.
(04:52):
We didn't assume that, the 30year veteran or the three week
newbie knew any of.
The same information coming in.
We started them fresh with thebasic skill sets that we felt
like they needed to besuccessful regardless of her or
I were in the building.
And so it really started at thatorientation point.
(05:14):
because we were failing fromthat point on, like we were
failing people coming into thebuilding.
'cause you're so apt to try toget them on the floor or get
that position filled.
And you fail to realize that ifyou don't give that person
space, to grow and give them alittle bit of time to get their
sea legs underneath of them,you're already starting off in a
(05:36):
rocky way.
And so we had to stop thatcycle.
And so it really started withorientation.
But also the other thing is itdidn't just stop there, that's
where it began.
But no matter how long a personwas with us, the other thing we
realized was, creating thatenvironment of psychological
safety.
And I.
(05:57):
Giving people the permission tosay, I don't know, without the
repercussion attached to that orthe shame, was the other way to
continue through that practiceof not assuming people knew
things.
Because I can look back at mycareer and there's a few times
that really stick out to me.
And senior vice president typepeople or regional directors,
(06:18):
they probably mean, well, theyhave a lot on their plates too,
but they'll say things in a semicondescending way or very
flippantly, and they've alreadyassumed that you should know X,
Y, and Z.
So I can immediately take myselfback to how diminished and
depleted and embarrassed I feltin those moments for not knowing
(06:39):
something basic.
And I never wanted anyone elseto feel.
The way that I had been made to,to feel in those moments.
And so really we had to figureout how to find enough time in
our days also to take thingsback down to this basic element
because in long-term care,there's just never enough time
(07:00):
in a day.
There's just never enough time.
And so we had to figure out howto carve out intentional, five
minutes here, 10 minutes there.
How can we figure out how tostrategically make sure everyone
on our team or in thatparticular position knows how to
have the tools that they need intheir toolbox to get their job
done well, once we took the timeto actually do that, you'd be
(07:23):
amazed.
We just got less questionsbecause people felt like they
had what they needed to do theirjob.
And they knew we were there as aresource.
That ongoing education neverstopped, but people felt
empowered to go do the jobbecause we had given them what
they needed in the first place.
And that's, that began with usrealizing we had to stop
(07:45):
assuming.
Everyone knew anything abouttheir position coming in.
So giving them that baseknowledge and that room to be
okay with saying, I don't know,and creating that safe space and
us not judging them for notknowing something really helped
to create a culture ofempowerment, which really, made
(08:08):
our jobs easier, so that'sreally where it all began
Erin (08:11):
I have lived a life.
My sister, we used to get intofights all the time and she
would call me the assumer and Iwould say, no, I'm the knower.
Oh, I know I'm the knower.
But as I have grown, I haverealized I have assumed a lot in
my life.
one of them was when I firstbecame an executive director.
(08:34):
I was raised in a little bit ofa sheltered, like small school
environment.
so where I went to school, a lotof people thought like me, or at
least I thought, they thoughtlike me And so when I entered
into an executive director role,I never, it never even crossed
my mind that people weren'tmotivated like me.
(08:57):
Or passionate like me, actuallycame to work because it was a
job and not necessarily becauseevery day I, every day felt like
Christmas because we wereimpacting people's lives.
Like I was speaking a differentlanguage than most people, and
it wasn't until I realized Youthink what?
(09:17):
even people that I had workedwith for years, but on their
level, like when I was theconcierge at that same community
or when I was the sales andmarketing at that same
community, I didn't have aperspective that an executive
director has.
And so I would look at thingsand I'm like, you didn't know
that.
And so you realize that you dohave to slow down and back way
(09:40):
up.
To get everybody on the samepage, you do have to slow down
so you can speed up because it'sthe fundamentals that people
need to know.
Yes.
And I was even recently talkingto A CEO and he was just like,
some people you hire don't evenknow what a spend down is.
And now how many times do weassume that people know what a
spend down is whenever they workinside assisted living, senior
(10:02):
living in general.
When he made that comment, I wasjust like, oh, I never guess.
I never would've assumed that.
Malinda (10:09):
that's exactly what it is because it's never anything
complex and it's always thebasic fundamentals, but people
have such this feeling of shamebecause they don't wanna look
stupid for asking somethingfundamental.
But then that just snowballsbecause that person, they may
have one question and then twoweeks later it's now segued into
(10:29):
2, 3, 4, 5, and six.
And before you know it, theyhave this whole slew.
Things they don't understand, ormaybe they're messing up some of
your processes, not because theydon't want to do it the right
way, but because they just don'tknow and they don't feel
comfortable asking.
But yeah, it's so basic.
It does not, and it also doesn'thave to take a lot of time.
That's the other thing.
(10:50):
As leaders, we don't have a lotof time, but if you can take a
few moments, even once an hour,figure out how you can bring
clarity to someone else's day,it really alleviates a lot.
From your plate and it reallyhelps them to feel better about
their day to day.
And the other thing that yousaid that I really like is it
(11:11):
was an eye-opening experience torealize not everyone felt the
same vigor that I did about myjob.
Not that I felt that vigor everymoment of every day, but the
reality is I had to figure outpretty quickly that I had to
meet people where they are, Intheir journey.
Because the majority of peoplewere not on my boat.
(11:32):
Whatever boat that looked like.
Maybe I was on my own island atsome points, and that's okay.
I can accept that.
But my day-to-day also gotbetter when I realized I needed
to meet people where they are.
And I was on a betterunderstanding just with them in
general when I knew what theywere coming for.
some were coming for theresidents, some were coming from
(11:53):
the interactions from theirpeers.
Some just wanted the paycheck,which is okay too.
but yeah, that was the otheralleviating factor was just
accepting people where they'reat in their journey for why
they're working with you.
Erin (12:04):
Yeah.
You can't lead people if you arenot where they are.
You can be walking and you canturn around like, Hey everybody,
this is where we're going, orWe're on this bus and nobody's
on the bus because.
you weren't even where theywere.
You know what I mean?
I talk a lot about control basedleadership, management based
leadership and influence basedleadership, and there is a huge
(12:26):
difference when you controleverything.
You can get a lot of doers Ifthey have the right attitude,
but you're not gonna get a lotof leaders who are going to
alleviate some of those bigconcerns.
and I recently just to a podcastwhere it was all about the power
of questions.
(12:47):
And if you are going to go wherepeople are, you have to.
Figure out where they are.
And by doing that is by askingquestions.
And in that growth environmentthat you created, because you
were able to identify shame.
And I want people to understandsomething inside of a community
(13:08):
in my life, shame was a hugebarrier for me.
Huge.
I didn't realize that untilthree years ago.
So your most defensive person,your most obstinate person, your
most defiant person, thosepeople have great hearts that
(13:29):
are trapped underneath a lot ofshame.
And a lot of disappointment anda lot of fear of doing exactly
what you said, disappointingyou, or not being vulnerable
enough to say, I don't know.
If you can create theenvironment that says.
Ask away.
No question is a stupidquestion.
Your responses can actuallymirror that Then you're going to
(13:55):
see growth happen over time.
Yes.
obviously you saw it, right?
Malinda (14:00):
Yes, I definitely saw growth, especially just people
feeling empowered.
I am the type of leader that Ialways thought it was great if
people wanted to stay and workwith me for the direct
trajectory of their career.
But I guess my goal always wasand still is, my goal is for
people to feel like they cangrow and spread their wings and
go do whatever it is that theyfeel like they want to tackle
(14:23):
next.
And so you're right by askingthe right questions and giving
them the right tools to besuccessful and creating that
psychologically safeenvironment, people feel like
they can be their optimal selfand that, but it does take time.
this is a daily concertedeffort.
There's really no quick fix toany of this And I had to learn a
lot of this the hard way.
(14:44):
by just, at times I probablywas.
Too controlling or maybe I wastoo lax.
while you're trying to find thathappy medium as a leader, your
team grows through those painswith you.
But just having, creating thatenvironment really makes people
just wanna stay even on thetough days.
(15:05):
They don't wanna flee during thedifficult moments in long-term
care because they feel like youare there to support them on
their journey, not only just asa professional, but just as an
individual.
And I think that really says alot.
we saw success in that modelbecause we.
Realized we saw leaders as thepeople, that they were not just
(15:27):
the leader that was coming towork doing their management job
or the CNA, doing their CNA joband then going home.
So once we started to recognizethat humility piece of it too,
and giving people the tools thatthey needed, it really changed
the culture for the better.
Erin (15:42):
Did you say, let me make sure I heard this right, that
you.
Wanted to be like a growthcatalyst for people that would
not even be there long term.
But to teach the skills thatcould get them where they wanted
to go in the next chapter oftheir life.
Like you literally had thatmindset.
Malinda (16:03):
And I read a book, I think it was called The Dream
Manager, if I remember, is byMatthew Kelly.
I had one of my regionals giveit to me one time, and it really
stuck with me and I didn'trealize I was that until much
later on in my career again.
But as much as I wanted peopleto stay with me, I always wanted
them to be where they wanted tobe.
And so even if our organizationoutside of the community, I had
(16:25):
a plan operations manager and hewanted to go be a regional, but
there was just never going to bean opening in our community or
for our company.
There just never was going tobe, and it took him a while to
come to that realization.
And I had since left, but he hadmessaged me about three months
ago and said, I finally took theplunge and I went, became a
regional in another.
company I didn't ever foreseehim leaving, but he had said,
(16:48):
it's a lot of the tools thatyou've given me, just the
confidence to take the plunge.
And that is what made me thehappiest, being a leader was
watching other people do better.
I was never really that worriedabout how well Melinda was doing
it was I just got enjoymentseeing other people.
Move on and for various things,CNAs that, I had a very, diverse
(17:10):
population that worked for me.
I would see, individuals comehere that, English may have been
their fourth or fifth language,and then they'd come to me a
year or two later and say, Iwanna go to nursing school to
see those people go throughnursing school and then someone
end up at the hospital, someoneend up in clinic, some went back
home to do things.
It was just so fulfilling towatch them become that person
(17:31):
they wanted to be.
Obviously I always wanted themselfishly to stay with me if we
could make that work, but I justwanted them to be happy
ultimately.
And that's what I think Irealized, helped to keep my cup
full, on the really tough daysand especially before I had
discovered that I was on my.
That I was in the burnout realm.
(17:53):
it took me a while to realizethat's where I was and that I
was heading in that direction.
But what really kept me groundedand probably kept me as an
administrator, especially thelast few years, was seeing
people succeed in whatever areait was they wanted to be in.
Erin (18:09):
Yeah, because that's a different mindset than A control
based leader who won't invest inpeople because they want them to
stay.
Yeah.
But that doesn't build a growthculture that keeps you very
busy.
it keeps you the center of thestory and you certainly don't
want to be the center of thestory all the time.
Because that is verychallenging, and it's similar to
(18:33):
mine, like I wanted to be thespringboard for somebody's
platform like.
If you were a CNA and you wantedto be a nurse, I just want you
to know that you can still workhere and you're gonna get a lot
of experience here that mostnurses in nursing school are not
gonna have.
one of the proudest successstories is we had a caregiver.
(18:55):
who became an LPN, and then shewas able to graduate to be an
LPN at the community.
And then she was in school to beher rn.
And then she was able to assumean RN position at the community.
And then she was going to schoolto be a nurse practitioner.
Wow.
And she had the opportunity to,at some point come back and.
(19:23):
B, like a medical director ofthe community at some point.
that was a possibility forsometime down the future,
depending on her path.
But how amazing is that?
Because you know that one personYeah.
Has a lot of insights from manydifferent perspectives.
Because of how she started, andit's pretty powerful.
(19:44):
It's, that's a pretty powerfuljourney.
And then to not even know whatseeds you planted in people that
are doing professionally,something amazing now that
you're not even aware of.
Yes.
'cause you wanted, you had anintentionality behind saying,
I'm going to invest in peopleand I know they might not stay.
Malinda (20:07):
Yes.
And.
The reality is when you are inthe middle of being that control
based leader, you'reinadvertently crippling people
and making them dependent onyou.
And it's exhausting when youbecome, when you are that type
of leader.
Oftentimes people, some people Ithink do it.
(20:27):
Intentionally and others, Ithink it's not intentional.
They're just scared to let go,and then the building suffers
for it, or the community suffersfor it.
So they might have greatintentions, but it's just poor
execution.
but once you can realize that,honestly, I think I always
wanted a leader like that forme, and I don't think I ever
really, I had it to some degree,but never fully the way that I
(20:50):
hoped.
So I wanted to morph into what Iwas always searching for,
honestly.
Yeah.
Erin (20:54):
Yeah.
The term psychological safety, Ifeel is like a buzzword.
But think about your career.
'cause the, for those of you whoare listening, more than likely
you work inside senior living.
And think about the people whohave caused problems during
surveys or during familyconflict, within the community.
(21:18):
they're upset about somethingand they don't know what to do
and they make the situationworse.
That is no psychological safety,and you are reaping the benefits
of no psychological safety atthat moment.
But if you create psychologicalsafety where that caregiver,
that maintenance person, thatserver, they know that it's okay
(21:39):
to say, I don't know.
Yeah.
And they know that it's okay tosay.
I will go find the answer and beright back.
Yes.
You have just deescalatedsomething that could have gotten
really big.
Malinda (21:51):
Yes.
Erin (21:52):
And that is psychological safety because they know it's
okay to say, I don't know.
As long as they have appropriateaction and follow up afterwards.
Malinda (22:01):
100%.
And it was also, even if it wentso far as during a survey,
someone messes up.
Yes.
it's that relationship, thathumility that the surveyor and
all of us there we're all justhuman trying to do what's right
for the people that are livingin that community.
And if your team member comes toyou and says, I messed up.
(22:21):
How you react as a leader canreally make or break that
person, for their current selfand their future self because
you may make them more leery togo and approach, their future
leaders.
Outside of you if you scare themand make them feel that shame.
but yeah, psychological safetyis such a buzzword.
You're right, but it's theactual humanness of the job that
(22:44):
we are injecting back in thatgives people the okay to say, I
don't know, or to say, I messedup.
How can I correct it?
And that's what's important inour day to day.
Erin (22:56):
Yeah.
I think to sum up this sectionof the podcast.
A really good summary isassuming knowledge creates
confusion and teaching thebasics builds capacity.
Yes.
Like if you could create a oneliner for that, that's it.
Malinda (23:14):
We're not gonna get better than that.
Erin (23:18):
I really don't think we would.
Point number two that you areuniquely qualified to talk about
here is the tiers of work,right?
It's really aboutprioritization.
Which I think gets lost becausewe are constantly, if we're
controlling everything, there isno tier.
(23:38):
Everything is important.
I heard on Instagram recently, Ithought this was really cool.
It caught my ear.
My attention is the calendar isnot for.
Prioritizing yourresponsibilities.
Hold on, lemme think about thisfor a minute.
It's prioritizing your, gosh,what did it say?
(24:01):
It's prioritizing like what youwant out of your life, right?
We assume you ranking everythingfrom most important to least
important.
But I think it's, you know, astwo sufferers of burnout.
I think for me, I will speak.
For me, I didn't prioritize whatwas energy giving to me.
(24:26):
What was important from apersonal standpoint, I didn't
prioritize my growth, I didn'tprioritize my mental health.
all of that was on at the bottomof everything else that I felt
was more important Your calendarshould start with prioritizing
what makes you a better you.
(24:48):
And if you don't understand thevalue of that, you don't
understand the value of yourteam because the value of your
team.
I like to say that a communityis just a community until a good
leader steps in and makes it agreat place to live and work.
But a good leader can losethemselves in not understanding.
The prioritization of staying agood leader, of being a good
(25:12):
leader because everything elsebecomes more important.
So not everything is tier one,and if everything feels urgent,
nothing is strategic, there's nointentionality to it.
And just for an example, this issomething that I did, I got
(25:33):
better at, but my husband reallystinks at right now.
a vacation.
How many times, Did I say, I'mnot gonna plan this until I know
that everything is going good inthe community.
and then I know that I can walkaway.
And then the week that youwanted comes up and somebody's
(25:54):
sick or somebody's something andyou didn't buy anything.
It's like you have toprioritize.
That vacation six months inadvance, you have to buy the
cruise things.
And so no matter what happens,you say, I can't get out of it.
That's a prioritization of howto keep you sane first.
Yes.
Anyways, I'm done.
(26:15):
Melinda, take the floor.
Malinda (26:17):
My mind races when you say what you just did because I
don't know about you, but Ialways had to take my work phone
with me on vacations.
Erin (26:26):
Yeah.
Malinda (26:27):
And that was a stark reality when I left actively
working as an executive directorwas.
For a very long time.
I was never just myself.
I was never just Melinda.
I was always Melinda, theadministrator that's on call.
And yes, I had people in placethat would handle things for me,
(26:50):
but you can never be justyourself.
And that's where I failed, tofind boundaries that made sense
for me.
And I always prioritizedeveryone else's needs.
Above my own because I so badlywanted everyone, including
residents, family members, myteam, I wanted everyone to have
(27:11):
a good, positive workingexperience.
but I forgot to remember myselfin that equation and completely
lost myself.
I don't know if you've everwatched a man on the inside, but
yeah.
Executive director D when shewould put her headphones on and
land at her desk, that was me.
But I would turn the lights offtoo, because I was so
overstimulated by everyoneneeding something from me.
(27:32):
I'm like the parent that had,triplets that needed something
all at once.
That's what I felt like, and itwasn't even necessarily them
asking because they didn't knowhow to do their job.
It was just because I hadcreated such close relationships
with people constantly wereneeding or wanting to talk with
me for about various things, andthat was both a blessing and a
curse because in the midst ofall of it, I still had to figure
(27:54):
out how to get my work done.
So I love this quote.
It's like trying to run amarathon at a sprint pace every
single day.
That sums up, especially thelast few years of my life Yes.
In senior living.
And I look back, it honestlytook me six to nine months to
decompress.
Erin (28:11):
Yeah.
Malinda (28:12):
And just breathe.
because when you were justconstantly running on such high
levels of cortisol for years ina row, it really takes a lot out
of a person.
Yes.
And but in the midst of it, Ihad figured out a process that
really worked for me.
And I, this all stemmed because,I'd say midway through my
career, I was having some carwork done and I remember my
(28:33):
husband was dropping me off atwork and he was like, what
doesn't you do all day?
And I said, that's a very loadedquestion.
I don't think you want me tothat how dare you asked.
I don't think you wanna know,nor would you probably
understand.
And I don't mean that in acondescending way, but I don't
think you would even know.
but I said essentially, I'lljust give you in a nutshell, my
survival guide.
(28:55):
And I broke different tasks intodifferent tiers based off of how
much leeway I knew.
Or severity?
so tier one, I absolutely couldnot leave the building that day.
I knew that I could not leaveuntil those things were done.
So for example, like if I had toturn in a self-report to the
state or, I had a familycomplaint, I knew I needed to
(29:16):
deal with that in that day.
or if we needed to terminate orget someone hired in the system,
like those were urgent mattersthat I knew I couldn't leave
without.
and then there's that middletier of I got a few days to
figure this out.
maybe that was something to dowith billing or, something
admission related, somethingthat is not so urgent that you
can't tackle it, in a day ortwo.
(29:38):
And then there was that like.
Third tier of this sounds great.
And if I actually get a coupleof hours to myself to breathe,
maybe I'll work on my emergencypreparedness plan, or maybe I
will come up with my team with anew Oppy project.
Something along those lines.
But, at the beginning of yourcareer and even up until the
middle of it, everything feltlike a sprint.
(29:59):
And then, during the pandemic.
It was even more of a sprintbecause you had all these added
layers of requirement, but yetstill had to keep everyone safe
and get everything done, andthen figure out how to keep
yourself sane in the midst ofall of it.
so I had to create this system.
I, it happened organically.
It's not like I stole it fromanyone.
(30:19):
I just realized that's how I hadlearned to cope.
Was creating this internalprocess, but then I actually
created a chart for myself andit helped to keep me on track
because I'm a visual learner andI need to see for my own sense
of peace and for my ownsatisfaction, I like to see
things crossed off a list, makesme feel like I've accomplished
(30:40):
something.
No matter how small the task, itstill made me feel good inside.
So that tier system was how Iexplained it to'em.
I have on fire, can't leave.
there's maybe just we're at abonfire level and now, this is
smoldering down here.
I can deal with the ashes later,and he, that made sense to him.
And then I thought, that'sreally a helpful tool probably
(31:00):
for new administrators or peoplethat dunno how to prioritize or
they're new in the role, ormaybe, new to a company.
it just helped me to prioritize.
How to survive my day to day,especially in those really
taxing times before I realizedhow burned out I was.
It helped me to stay in the rolelonger, honestly.
Erin (31:19):
Yeah.
especially for a new executivedirector or a new director of
nursing, honestly.
you gotta do what only you cando first.
That's like tier one man.
Yeah.
Stop giving tier two, tier threestuff.
That's should be tier onebecause what only you can do has
(31:40):
to be done by you.
So if you can get that donefirst, then everything else will
be prioritized based on urgency.
Sure.
But if you say what's requiredto be done by you for last.
What are you giving it?
What is your boss gonna see?
What is the home office gonnasee?
(32:01):
What are your families gonnasee?
and your managers are living itup because Yeah.
you're doing it all for them.
When you should be doing what's,can only be done by you.
They should be doing what canonly be done by them, in a
perfect world scenario first,and then all of a sudden we're
available to the people thatneed us to help solve their
(32:22):
problems.
Malinda (32:23):
Yeah, I agree.
And you did it, you said it insuch a palatable way.
honestly, it goes back toprioritizing your own sense of
wellbeing.
Yes.
Which also in turn helps yourteam and the community.
That's where I got lost in that.
I got lost in that.
And it's hard to find your wayout of it or dig yourself back
(32:46):
out of it when you're in themidst of it.
But looking in now, that'sexactly what needs to occur.
If you can prioritize your ownwork, everything kind of falls
into place because everyone canthen tackle what they're
responsible for in their sphereof influence.
Yeah.
Erin (33:00):
As we wrap up this episode for the burned out leaders and
the new leaders coming in, whatwould you say for the exhausted,
overwhelmed, and doesn't knowwhere to begin, leader, based on
our conversation today and nowyour hindsight viewpoint?
What would be the top advice toStart their mindset shift for
(33:25):
the two things that we talkedabout today, which is
prioritizing the tiers the mostappropriate way.
And to stop assuming that peopleknow what they don't know, what
would be your first coachingstep to them?
Malinda (33:40):
My first coaching step would be take it back to the
basics.
Because honestly, the basics aregoing to help you feel
connected, authentically andemotionally with your team and
your residents.
So those quick checkpoints ofmaking sure people have the
tools they need, getting to knowthem on a more personal level,
(34:02):
those things matter.
Those are the actual, heart andsoul of what we do day to day,
but then also taking it back tothe basics on what tasks you can
and can't control in a day.
And getting what is in yoursphere of influence to get done.
And making sure your team, theyknow what they need to complete,
(34:22):
can really keep you off of thattrajectory of feeling
overwhelmed, burned out, lostall of that.
So really.
If I could sum it up, lookingback on my 10 year career,
taking it back to the basics andkeeping it there, it does not
have to be complex and it helpsto keep the humanness in the
community and everything runningpretty efficiently.
(34:46):
Honestly, that would be myparting words,
Erin (34:48):
absolutely simple is not easy.
And I think that we make thingscomplicated because we want to
look smart And capable.
The more simple it is, thesmarter it actually is.
I didn't realize that to somedegree you were proud that you
(35:10):
worked 14 hours, three days in arow.
And then, you wore this.
Farmer that said, I'm workingall the time.
I'm kicking butt and takingnames and like you didn't
realize, like that's notsuccess.
The simpler you can make it, themore basic that you can keep
things at the fundamentals inany kind of sports, that is
(35:33):
where the team with the bestfundamentals will win.
Malinda (35:36):
Yes, absolutely.
Erin (35:38):
if people want to get to know you more And figure out how
to work with you, where do youlike to send them?
Malinda (35:47):
So I have a website, melinda sice.com.
Very simple.
I'm also a LinkedIn junkie, soif you look me up on LinkedIn,
Melinda Sice is my name onLinkedIn and I am quite active
on LinkedIn.
So those would be the two bestways to get ahold of me, see me
on my website or go find me onLinkedIn.
Erin (36:05):
Yes.
Thank you for sharing this.
the frameworks, the back to thebasics.
I hope this message gets out tothe people who needs to hear it.
And if you are saying that's notright, don't knock it until you
try it.
Because it can certainly changethings for sure.
Yes.
All right.
(36:25):
Thank you for today.
listeners, thank you for yourtime.
Go check out Melinda's websiteand as always, aspire for more
for you because when you ownyour story, you can create your
future.
Thank you so much.
I.
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