June 19, 2025 • 38 mins
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In this solo episode, Erin breaks down the real reason most senior living leaders quit too soon, and how to tell if you’re facing a Dip, a Cliff, or a Cul-de-Sac (inspired by Seth Godin’s The Dip).
She shares the 4 Emotional Phases every Executive Director goes through, the mindset traps that keep you stuck, and 3 powerful questions to ask before you hand in your resignation.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, underappreciated, or ready to run, this conversation will help you decide when to stay, when to grow, and when to walk away wisely.
Key Takeaways:
- The 4 Emotional Phases of senior living leadership (and where you are now)
- How the messy middle can make or break your career
- The difference between quitting for relief and quitting for strategy
- 3 clarity questions to ask before you quit
- Why finishing is rarer, and more rewarding, than starting
Connect with Erin:
Ready to get the support you need to grow through the dip? Connect with Erin at Aspire For More with Erin or visit The Mentoring Company.
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Follow me on Facebook where I educate, equip and empower family members how to proactively care for their elderly loved ones.
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Join my email list where I will lift you up, and send tactile advice weekly to support you to grow your experience in your senior living career.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Okay.
Today we're gonna have a toughconversation, I think a fun
conversation, but I wanna remindyou, I'm Erin Thompson, and I
get it.
I'm your person who gets it.
So let's start there.
I am your friend.
I am your person who gets it.
(00:21):
let me help you be honest withyourself with some questions.
Have you ever thought aboutquitting?
Not once, but on one of thosedays when you whispered to
yourself, why am I even doingthis?
Why am I doing this right?
(00:42):
Like, how many times have we hadthat question?
if you are in senior livingleadership, I know you've said
those words to yourself.
Why?
Because I have said those wordsto myself.
I have been there too, and Isaid those words to myself in
times where I probably shouldn'thave.
And that's what we're gonna goover today.
(01:02):
Today I am unpacking the fouremotional phases every executive
director faces and the timelesswisdom from a new book that I
read, which is really whatinspired this episode and my
content on LinkedIn this weekcalled The Dip.
It's written by Seth Godin, andit's really more about a
marketing, strategy and for,business owners.
(01:27):
But it makes perfect sense insenior living as well,
especially for those of us whoconstantly say, why am I doing
this?
Because when you know exactlywhen to push through and when to
walk away and when to giveyourself some grace and when to
(01:47):
tell yourself, those words arejust panic, then you can grow
confidence.
You can walk through the fouremotional phases of senior
living leadership withconfidence, and you no longer
have to stay stuck in the messymiddle or the dip.
So if you're there, thisepisode's for you, again, I just
(02:09):
wanna remind you, I am Erin.
I am your person who gets it.
I have been there.
I have done that.
And I am better for it, andthat's why I'm talking about it
today.
Senior living leadership is likerunning a five star hotel, a
hospital, a family drama series,and a multimillion dollar
business all at once.
(02:31):
I mean.
Have truer words ever beenspoken.
Nobody tells you that whenyou're being interviewed, but
it's true.
That's what it feels like.
So here's what I want you totake away today after listening
to this episode.
Quitting isn't always bad, Butquitting for the wrong reasons.
That is a career killer.
(02:53):
Almost everything worthwhilecomes with a dip.
That means that everythingworthwhile is uphill because you
start here, you go down here,and then you come up here.
That's the ugly valley betweenyour excitement and your
expertise.
In order to become the expert,you have to survive the dip, the
(03:16):
valley, the messy middle.
If you know how to handle thedip, the valley, the messy
middle, you can becomeunstoppable.
And that's my goal for youtoday.
So let's break it down.
I love this quote that's fromJohn Maxwell.
The dream is free.
It's the journey that will costyou.
Let's just think about that.
(03:37):
We walk into a community withour new fancy title.
Whatever it is, whatever yourtitle is, the regional director,
the executive director, thenursing director, the activities
director, whatever your titleis, when you walk in on that
first day, you have hopefulenthusiasm.
That's what you have.
(03:57):
I got this.
I'm gonna turn this thing aroundby whatever day, six months from
now.
Hopeful enthusiasm is thatbeginning of every relationship,
personal relationship,professional relationship.
It's where it's fun, it'sexciting, it's fast paced, you
are so aware of theopportunities and the potential
(04:19):
that is before you.
Nothing is going to get in yourway.
There's quick wins, quickfeedback, and your curiosity is
on fire because everything isnew.
The passion that you feel isthere, it hasn't been tainted,
(04:41):
right?
Like you are ready to take thisopportunity and turn it into the
biggest win of your career.
That's hopeful.
Enthusiasm.
At the beginning of everyrelationship you have is hopeful
enthusiasm, but it is inevitablethat you are going to run into
(05:01):
the next phase, which is thereality check.
It's the beginning of the dip.
It's, wait a minute, this isn'texactly what I thought it was
going to be.
It's the moment the honeymoonends.
It's the moment that yourpassion gets tested.
It's the moment that you realizethis is going to be harder than
(05:25):
I thought.
I mean, how many times have weseen our kids go into something
and think this is going to be abreeze, and we know that it's
not going to be a breeze becauseit's inevitable.
We're going to run into the timethat we have to learn and grow,
that we have to realize it's notgoing to be perfect.
(05:47):
This is the reality check phase.
The reality check phase forsenior living leadership is when
budgets are now being enforcedand looked at when repeated call
offs are causing those budgetsto be over and you can't catch
up every key stakeholder,families, corporate office, the
(06:12):
regulators, the associates, theresidents, they're all getting
angry about something and you'rehaving to try to figure out what
the pattern is, and then thereare the regulations that you
didn't even know that you didn'tknow.
When that happens to you, that'sa huge reality check, right?
(06:33):
here is, when your big vision,the big plan that you have
starts becoming buried by all ofthe small fires that are
brewing.
I wanted to say to you, if youwere in this reality check phase
communication is where most ofthese fires start and can be
(06:55):
extinguished.
It's communication period.
Especially if you are in thephase where you have management
turnover and you are having towork two to three jobs at one
time.
I certainly have done that.
It is hard, but there's a lot ofvalue in having to do that.
Now, we could say that thiswould be the dip if you have
management turnover.
(07:17):
But there's so much value inlearning the role of a manager,
so you can support the next onein such a profound and impactful
way.
But this is the reality checkphase.
This is when we realize life isalways harder than we think it's
going to be.
And when we started askingourselves these questions like,
(07:39):
wait a minute, what happened?
Did I miss something?
Clearly there's something goingon that I'm not aware of.
Or even worse, am I even cut outfor this?
Is this the community for me?
Is this the company for me?
Am I enough?
This is the first sign thatyou're entering the dip, and the
(08:01):
dip is the inevitable valleybetween starting and mastering
between your excitement and yourexpertise.
The dip is worth it, but only ifyou know why it's worth it.
This is where the quote,everything worthwhile is uphill.
Makes perfect sense.
(08:22):
We started out with hopefulenthusiasm, complete blind
passion.
This is gonna be the best thingever.
And then we hit reality and werealize, oh.
It's gonna take a little bitmore effort or a lot more effort
than I thought.
And here is the crossroadsphase.
This is where most peoplerealize they're at and decide,
(08:47):
this isn't for me.
This is the gut check phase, themessy middle, the valley of
despair, whatever you wanna callit.
This is the crossroads phase.
Almost everything worth doing.
Requires a dip.
Think about riding a bike.
It required a learning curve.
(09:08):
The dip is the learning curveFor me, learning how to do this
podcast, if you walk into acommunity and your occupancy is
very low, the dip is going to bethe occupancy growth.
It's hard, but there's so muchvalue in the journey that you
want to continue.
(09:29):
The dip, the valley of despair.
This is where extraordinarybenefits accrue to the tiny
minority who push through just abit longer than most.
It's that time in the book.
The author Seth Godin talksabout like if we're at the
grocery store line and we'reconstantly surveying what line
(09:50):
is the shortest, and if we arein a longer line, we move to the
next line.
But you know what happens whenwe move from a long line to a
shorter line and it takes longerthan we actually thought?
to go through that short line,because you know, that's
happened to all of us, is wedon't get the credit.
(10:11):
For the time spent waiting inthe previous line.
And if we constantly movebecause the struggle is real
'cause the valley of despair istoo deep, because the messy
middle is too messy, we don'tmove forward in the progress of
our life.
We don't get credit for the workat other places.
(10:33):
And that's why the crossroadsphase of senior living
leadership is very important.
Because what do we want?
Is the short-term discomfort notworth the long-term benefits?
I think that's a question thatwe, I have to ask ourselves
because the crossroads is wherewe gain the most in our life.
(10:57):
The valley of despair, the messymiddle, that embracing of
discomfort, there's value inthat as long as you know it's
going to end, as long as youknow what the end success looks
like, as long as you know thatyou're embracing the struggle
(11:19):
for a very specific reason.
You will never learn how tosolve the same problem in your
life if you constantly run fromit.
And in fact, the same problem isgoing to keep showing up over
and over again unless you facethis crossroads phase, this
(11:40):
messy middle, this valley ofdespair because most leaders
quit here.
Most leaders abandon thecommunity that they're in, and
they go to another communitythinking that it's going to be
better.
There's better conditions,there's better management,
there's better support.
Maybe there is, okay, maybethere is, but you will not
(12:02):
become better if you don'tembrace the struggle, if you
don't learn from the mistakesthat you make in this struggle
and learn how to not repeat themover and over again.
When you move from a communityto a community, it's addicting
in some way because you'restarting back at hopeful
enthusiasm again.
(12:23):
You see like you're repeatingthe pattern.
You're going from hopefulenthusiasm to that reality check
moment.
Then that really messy middle,that dip.
And then if you choose to moveto another community to try to
find the better conditions,better support, you're starting
(12:43):
over again in this cycle ofconstantly avoiding the
discomfort is something that'sgoing to cause you to never win,
never win.
You will never succeed to thepoint that you truly want to go
if you can't embrace the workthat will get you there, because
this dip, this valley of despairwalking through it is the
(13:08):
quickest way to earn the outcomethat you want.
Not avoiding it and going to thenext best thing, but actually
walking through it.
Walking through the pain,learning from the discomfort,
becoming aware that.
There are elements of you thatare the problem and fixing it is
(13:31):
how you go to the next phase,which is confident ownership
because when you quit in thedip, you waste every ounce of
energy already spent trying towalk through it and starting
over doesn't give you the creditfor how long you tried somewhere
(13:53):
else.
That's why it's important for usto understand that the fastest
way to expertise, the fastestway to becoming the expert in
your field, the leader that youwanna be, the mastery of running
a successful senior livingcommunity is to stay through the
(14:13):
messy middle and to earn yourway into confident ownership,
which is valuing yourself,valuing the experience that you
had, and knowing that when thenext dip comes, there is
something valuable to learn fromit.
Because if you push through, ifyou don't bail when it's hard,
(14:33):
something powerful happens.
You stop fighting every fire andyou start leading.
Through the dip, you startleading knowing that the value
on the other side is worth thepain in the middle, and you have
very clear priorities.
You build trust and you say topeople, this is worth it.
(14:56):
Come on.
And they believe it because youhave the experience.
You believe it because yousurvived the hard parts.
That's what the dip teaches us.
That's what the hard parts teachus.
I've spoken to a lot of leaderswho tried to fix everything
overnight, and that is notpossible.
That's where a lot of thisburnout lives.
That's where you want to quitthe dip because you don't see
(15:20):
the impact.
But fixing everything overnightis not the solution.
It really is understanding whatneeds to be fixed first.
And then fixing everything else.
And again, I believe firmly thatcommunication is where you start
fixing, learning, improving, andeverything else will fall into
(15:44):
place.
Communication is the quickestway in senior living, I believe,
to move through the dip.
Because when you can work oncommunication, when you can work
on your resilience andunderstanding that the dip, the
hard parts are worth it, youbecome the leader that you wish
you had because you can supportother people through the dip.
(16:06):
Imagine being an executivedirector who can help a director
of nursing through the dipbecause these nurses may be
quitting because it's hard.
Imagine being an executivedirector who understands that
the people.
Are the biggest area of focusingon the potential to make, to
create more time, more freedom.
(16:27):
When you start focusing onpeople and not necessarily the
policies and procedures in thepaperwork, it's the people.
Imagine the leader whounderstood because of previous
dips that it's emotionalintelligence and the way that we
think and communicate withourselves.
That's the most important assetthat we have in moving out of
(16:48):
the dip.
In a safe and healthy way forourselves.
The dip creates value.
Working through the dip and intothe confident ownership creates
value because not a lot ofpeople can do it.
And if you can do it and comeout the other side better than
(17:10):
before, healthier mindset,knowing that growth is the goal.
Not.
The goal itself that's wherescarcity makes you valuable.
That's when you understand yoursuper strength.
That's when you understand thework is worth the result.
(17:32):
In today's senior living world,leaders who stick it out are
rare, and that rarity is wherethe true value lives.
In a world where everyone gets atrophy, everyone gets a ribbon.
Every grade gets a ceremony tomove on to the next.
(17:52):
The people who can stick out thehard stuff and learn from it and
value what they learn from itwill set themselves apart, but
not even to the next level ofleadership or the next title.
It's to themselves because theonly person that matters, the
(18:13):
only person's thoughts thatmatter about you are yours.
And if you constantly letyourself down, if you constantly
quit when it's hard, then younever believe that you can.
You always will blame yourcircumstances or people, but the
(18:35):
truth is it's because you don'tbelieve in yourself.
We can project pain onto otherpeople and not even realize it,
and that is an important lessonto learn.
But if you can show up foryourself, and give yourself
permission to celebrate thesmall wins.
(18:56):
And I mean, truly know what youwon today.
And to improve the skills to getyou to where you wanna go.
A hundred percent bettercommunicator, hiring the right
people.
Watch yourself grow.
Watch yourself confidenceimprove because the people who
(19:17):
skip going from the crossroadsphase to the confident ownership
phase, I believe don't haveenough self-confidence.
Self-belief, self-worth forthemselves because they don't
think they can do it and theyquit.
Quitting is not always losing.
(19:40):
There are times where quittingis the right answer and there
are times when digging our heelsin and.
Saying, I'm gonna grow throughthis.
Dip is really important.
So how do we know?
How do we know when to quit andwhen to keep going?
in this book, the Dip, There arethree ways to think about the
(20:02):
problem, the dip that you're in,which is really important.
And honestly it's brilliant.
I wish I came up with thismyself.
So how do we know if we shouldstick it out or make a strategic
exit if we're in the middle ofthe dip, right?
Which is the crossroads.
Before the confident ownership.
(20:24):
And if this dip for you is justa dip, it's worth pushing
through.
we start here at HopefulEnthusiasm, and then we get
closer, and then we're at thereality check phase, and then we
go down into the dip.
But the thing about a dip isthat it comes back up.
the, it comes back up.
And so we know that if we are ina true dip, we start off high,
(20:49):
we fall down low because we'rein that learning curve, and then
we come back up because we'velearned what we need to learn to
get to the next level.
That's a dip.
The outcomes are worth it.
But then we have somethingcalled the cul-de-sac?
Which is a dead end.
That no matter what you do,there's no growth.
(21:11):
I have heard people say thatthere's no growth in a control
room.
There's no growth in anenvironment where everything is
so controlled that anything thatyou do outside of what you're
told to do is chastised and notallowed.
There's no growth.
There's no opportunity to learn.
You have learned everything thatyou're going to learn.
(21:33):
You have applied everything thatyou're going to apply.
There is nowhere else for you togo.
That's a cul-de-sac.
You're at a dead end, so maybethe pain that you're feeling is
not worth it at that point.
Maybe you've gone as far asyou're going to go.
You've gained everything thatyou can gain If you were in that
position.
(21:54):
Maybe it's time for a strategicexit to go towards the next
level of your growth, of yourcareer, of your life.
If there's nothing left to gain,to receive, to implement, and
you want more, then that's thecul-de-sac, and a strategic exit
that is not quitting.
(22:15):
That is knowing what you wantand walking towards the next
phase.
It's empowerment.
And then you have the cliff,which lemme tell you something,
I, the reason why this is sovaluable to me is that I never
knew how to quit.
I didn't know how to quit.
I lived my life knowing that Iwasn't going to quit because
quitters never win.
(22:36):
I will gut through this.
I will make this work because Iam not a quitter.
And you know, some parts of yourlife that works.
But then at some points, of yourlife, that no longer works
because that gut, that grit, itbecomes too intense, And the
other part is you run into acliff, which to me is the
burnout in my life, in mycareer.
(22:59):
With my mindset that quittersnever win, that I will make this
work no matter what.
I cannot leave the people that Ilove.
I cannot leave my community.
The cliff happens.
The cliff is the burnout.
The cliff is you are tooaggressive and too passionate.
You have ignored all the warningsigns, all the lights came up on
(23:24):
your dashboard and it says youneed attention now, but you
ignored the lights and you ranoff the cliff.
That's a brutal way of realizingthat the dip isn't worth, it
wasn't worth it.
because if it's going to cost useverything we have, the dip may
(23:45):
not be worth it.
The outcome wasn't there.
The people never appreciated it,or you never were able to
receive the communication thatthey were trying to give you.
The cliff is a very harsh way ofrealizing that it was time to
leave.
And you didn't leave, but as agreat teacher and understanding,
(24:10):
what warning signs did youignore?
Why did you ignore them, and whywere they important?
For me, it was the best lessonin life that sometimes quitting
is the most gracious thing thatyou can do for yourself and in
another way.
Understanding The dip is hard.
(24:35):
But it has an end, and thereward is on the other side, and
it's up to you to understand, isthe reward worth it?
Is there a reward?
A paycheck is a reward, but isthe paycheck enough?
(24:57):
Is growth.
Now more important to you thanjust a paycheck.
And can you look at the dip, thevalley of despair or the messy
middle in a way that is healthyand helps you grow through what
you go through.
You grow to the next phase ofyour life.
(25:21):
just to summarize the threedifferent ways to view the dip
of whether or not this is worthit for you is one question, Am I
willing to pay the price toachieve my dreams?
Can I commit to discipline tosurvive the dip?
And those are importantquestions to ask yourself.
When you are walking throughthose really challenging times,
(25:45):
the cul-de-sac is the job or thecircumstance that goes nowhere.
You can keep trying forever andstay exactly where you are if
you are stuck in the cul-de-sac.
Quitting strategically is wise.
If you want more growth, if yourlife circumstances can afford
you the time and the disciplinecommitment that growing through
(26:08):
the dip requires to find yournext mountain, the cliff, that's
where you ignore all the warningsigns until there's no option
but to quit or walked out thedoor.
in senior living, we call thatburnout, or as I like to call
it, the flame out.
If you keep quitting in the dip,you'll find yourself starting
(26:30):
many things, but finishing veryfew, starting is easy, and
finishing is where the magichappens.
So if you are in the phase whereyou're asking yourself, should I
quit?
Am I quitting?
Do I need to quit?
Am I cut out for this?
Am I enough?
I really want you to understandthis.
(26:52):
The problems on your desk is notbecause you're not enough.
Maybe you don't know what youdon't know.
Maybe you don't have theskillset that you need for all
the problems that are on yourdesk, and that's okay.
As long as you're aware of whereyou need to grow, it's not
necessarily failing.
When you have the awareness tounderstand what I need to grow,
(27:15):
I want you to look at thosestack of problems, those small
fires smoldering in every areaof your community or your life.
And I want you to look at it asproof that you have an
opportunity to expand yourcapacity, that your leadership
and the impact that you wannahave in this life, in this world
(27:36):
deserves expansion.
Imagine looking at the stack ofproblems that you have
personally, professionally, anyway as a way of growing your
capacity.
Problem solving is a skill weall gonna have.
The world is continuing to havebigger and worse problems for us
(27:57):
to solve.
That's not gonna go away.
So if you continue to thinkabout things as, I'm not enough.
Or I'm not good enough, or I'm afailure, you're never going to
be better.
But if you look at'em as anopportunity to get better, to
improve your skill, to grow yourimpact because it deserves it,
(28:19):
because you have the potentialto impact in a positive way, all
of a sudden life changesdramatically.
Everything you look at,everything that you do is
through the lens of growing, ofgetting better, of increasing my
capacity.
And yes, sometimes that'sexhausting and you need to take
a break, but it's motivating,it's inspiring.
(28:40):
It will keep you committed tothe road ahead and the growth.
And it doesn't matter whatanybody else thinks.
It matters what you think andwhat you're willing and able to
commit to, and that's growing.
But we all have to ask ourselvessome hard questions when it
comes to the environment thatwe're in.
(29:01):
If we're in the cul-de-sac, ifwe're running towards the cliff,
or if we're just in a dip.
Do I need to quit?
Do I need to find betterconditions in order to be
successful?
Because these are realcircumstances that we need to
address.
So before you actually.
Submit a letter of resignation.
I want you to ask yourself threequestions.
(29:24):
Am I panicking because, hey,quick thought of I need to quit,
or I'm in trouble, or I made amistake.
I need to quit, is a panicsignal because you don't want to
feel the sting of.
(29:44):
The negative repercussions.
We cannot act on a panickedthought.
Maybe we did make a mistake.
Maybe we need to suffer theconsequences.
I remember making a huge mistakeand a very big emotional
response.
I've talked about it a lot and Icalled my regional director and
I said, I think I need to quit.
That was a very irrationalresponse to a situation that I
(30:09):
certainly did not show up for asmy best, but I was panicked.
I didn't want to be forced out.
I wanted to quit on my ownterms, I didn't have a plan, so
that was panic.
That was not a strategic exit,that was a panicked Emotional
response.
So if you are panicking and youmake a mistake, or you're
(30:30):
scared, or you had a bad salescall, or you had a bad financial
review, call sleep on it, talkit out.
Regain perspective.
Create a story.
Tell the story in a way thatserves the community, the
company, and yourself.
I'm gonna learn through this.
I'm gonna grow through this.
I understand I'm not gonna makethe same mistake again.
(30:52):
All of those are very important.
The second question is, who am Itrying to influence and can they
be influenced?
Sometimes we fight the wrongbattles.
The biggest mistake I ever made,and maybe you're making the same
mistake too, was not knowing theanswer to this question.
(31:14):
Who am I trying to influence?
Really?
Who, because I projected a lotof pain on to other people.
I projected my own negativeself-image, my own negative
self-talk, my own negativeself-worth on to other people.
And I assumed that they thoughtabout me the way that I thought
(31:35):
about me.
And so when I was trying to killmyself to get to a hundred
percent after COVID and to provemy worth to these people, I
believed it was because theythought I was unworthy.
And the problem is they didn'tthink like that.
They didn't think about me atall.
I'm the one that put that onthem, and they had no idea that
(32:00):
I was doing that.
That is the biggest mistake Iwas making.
I was trying to influence peoplethat didn't need to be
influenced, I needed toinfluence myself.
I needed to change the way thatI thought about myself.
I needed to change the way thatI viewed every problem inside of
my community as a way to growinstead of a way to prove my
(32:21):
unworthiness.
And that gets deep.
But if you take the time and youthink about this, you might find
yourself doing the same thing,whether it's in your.
Personal relationships, yourprofessional relationships.
The way that you see yourself isthe way that you will think
other people see you, Who areyou trying to influence and can
(32:43):
they be influenced?
Do they even think the way thatyou do?
Do they even want the outcomethat you're trying to offer?
If they can be influenced, okay,but if you are wanting to quit
and there's no way around andthe discomfort that you're
(33:04):
feeling cannot be influenced,the outcomes aren't worth it,
then make a plan, but don't makea reactive decision.
You can give a company, you cangive somebody everything they
want, and you can stay the sameperson stuck in the same
(33:25):
negative loops in life becauseyou were thinking that by giving
them what they want, they weregoing to be influenced to see
you in the way that you wantedto be seen.
Therefore, you remain stuck.
Figure out who you're trying toinfluence and if they can be
influenced and try to understandis it really you that needs to
(33:47):
be influenced by the way thatyou think about yourself?
And question number three, willquitting get me something that's
staying through the dip?
Won't.
Is the discomfort worth thereward?
And are you.
Escaping growth by quitting.
When the answer is yes, when youbelieve that the messy middle is
(34:11):
worth the mastery, the impact,and the calm confidence on the
other side, don't you dare quitin the dip because the dip is
why you're here.
It's the secret that weeds outthe mediocre and leaves room for
the truly great opportunitiesthat lie ahead for people who
(34:34):
are willing to work in the dip,the messy middle, or the valley
of despair.
Remember, your growth is notautomatic, and success does not
guarantee leadership impact orgrowth inside of a company.
But when you know what you want,when you know what you're
(34:54):
willing to commit to, when youknow the price that you're
willing to pay for theexpertise.
That you deserve, that youbelieve that you're worth and
that you're capable ofcommitting to the dip is worth
the discomfort.
In senior living, the goal is toget to a hundred percent and to
have great NOI.
(35:15):
The problem is, is that gettingthere is the dip.
Getting there is the hard part,and getting there is worth the
effort of learning how to do itin a healthy and positive way.
This will help you become theleader that you were born to be.
Adversity can be your ally ifyou look at it from a place of
(35:37):
being enough, being worthy andwilling to pay the price to
become the expert, because thatis where growth happens from a
place of enoughness andcuriosity to understand what
it's like to actually meet thegoals that you want.
Most people run from thediscomfort, but the brave ones
(35:59):
will stay.
The brave ones will grow and thebrave ones will gain more than
they ever thought was possiblebecause they believed and they
committed to the discomfort.
We wanna help leaders master themessy middle.
So you don't just survive it,you own it.
If this episode inspired you,made you feel a little bit of
(36:24):
motivation, share it with theleader who needs it.
Follow the podcast so you canknow that you're not alone, that
the person who understands.
The dip, the messy middle, thehard parts, the commitment, the
price to success is here helpingyou understand that it's worth
it as long as you're beinghealthy and as long as you have
(36:46):
the self-awareness to know thatit is worth it, that you are
enough, and that you just haveto find the right people to help
you get there in a healthy andfaster way.
So stick with it.
That's what my course is for.
That's what my coaching programsare for, and that's what
one-on-one coaching can do foryou.
(37:08):
To give you the confidence andthe strength to make it through
the messy middle.
Don't do it alone.
Plug in to a community thatunderstands and wants you to
succeed.
I'm cheering you on always.
You've got this.
And aspire for more for youbecause when you own your story,
(37:28):
you can create your future.
Okay.
Today we're gonna have a toughconversation, I think a fun
conversation, but I wanna remindyou, I'm Erin Thompson, and I
get it.
I'm your person who gets it.
So let's start there.
I am your friend.
I am your person who gets it.
(00:21):
let me help you be honest withyourself with some questions.
Have you ever thought aboutquitting?
Not once, but on one of thosedays when you whispered to
yourself, why am I even doingthis?
Why am I doing this right?
(00:42):
Like, how many times have we hadthat question?
if you are in senior livingleadership, I know you've said
those words to yourself.
Why?
Because I have said those wordsto myself.
I have been there too, and Isaid those words to myself in
times where I probably shouldn'thave.
And that's what we're gonna goover today.
(01:02):
Today I am unpacking the fouremotional phases every executive
director faces and the timelesswisdom from a new book that I
read, which is really whatinspired this episode and my
content on LinkedIn this weekcalled The Dip.
It's written by Seth Godin, andit's really more about a
marketing, strategy and for,business owners.
(01:27):
But it makes perfect sense insenior living as well,
especially for those of us whoconstantly say, why am I doing
this?
Because when you know exactlywhen to push through and when to
walk away and when to giveyourself some grace and when to
(01:47):
tell yourself, those words arejust panic, then you can grow
confidence.
You can walk through the fouremotional phases of senior
living leadership withconfidence, and you no longer
have to stay stuck in the messymiddle or the dip.
So if you're there, thisepisode's for you, again, I just
(02:09):
wanna remind you, I am Erin.
I am your person who gets it.
I have been there.
I have done that.
And I am better for it, andthat's why I'm talking about it
today.
Senior living leadership is likerunning a five star hotel, a
hospital, a family drama series,and a multimillion dollar
business all at once.
(02:31):
I mean.
Have truer words ever beenspoken.
Nobody tells you that whenyou're being interviewed, but
it's true.
That's what it feels like.
So here's what I want you totake away today after listening
to this episode.
Quitting isn't always bad, Butquitting for the wrong reasons.
That is a career killer.
(02:53):
Almost everything worthwhilecomes with a dip.
That means that everythingworthwhile is uphill because you
start here, you go down here,and then you come up here.
That's the ugly valley betweenyour excitement and your
expertise.
In order to become the expert,you have to survive the dip, the
(03:16):
valley, the messy middle.
If you know how to handle thedip, the valley, the messy
middle, you can becomeunstoppable.
And that's my goal for youtoday.
So let's break it down.
I love this quote that's fromJohn Maxwell.
The dream is free.
It's the journey that will costyou.
Let's just think about that.
(03:37):
We walk into a community withour new fancy title.
Whatever it is, whatever yourtitle is, the regional director,
the executive director, thenursing director, the activities
director, whatever your titleis, when you walk in on that
first day, you have hopefulenthusiasm.
That's what you have.
(03:57):
I got this.
I'm gonna turn this thing aroundby whatever day, six months from
now.
Hopeful enthusiasm is thatbeginning of every relationship,
personal relationship,professional relationship.
It's where it's fun, it'sexciting, it's fast paced, you
are so aware of theopportunities and the potential
(04:19):
that is before you.
Nothing is going to get in yourway.
There's quick wins, quickfeedback, and your curiosity is
on fire because everything isnew.
The passion that you feel isthere, it hasn't been tainted,
(04:41):
right?
Like you are ready to take thisopportunity and turn it into the
biggest win of your career.
That's hopeful.
Enthusiasm.
At the beginning of everyrelationship you have is hopeful
enthusiasm, but it is inevitablethat you are going to run into
(05:01):
the next phase, which is thereality check.
It's the beginning of the dip.
It's, wait a minute, this isn'texactly what I thought it was
going to be.
It's the moment the honeymoonends.
It's the moment that yourpassion gets tested.
It's the moment that you realizethis is going to be harder than
(05:25):
I thought.
I mean, how many times have weseen our kids go into something
and think this is going to be abreeze, and we know that it's
not going to be a breeze becauseit's inevitable.
We're going to run into the timethat we have to learn and grow,
that we have to realize it's notgoing to be perfect.
(05:47):
This is the reality check phase.
The reality check phase forsenior living leadership is when
budgets are now being enforcedand looked at when repeated call
offs are causing those budgetsto be over and you can't catch
up every key stakeholder,families, corporate office, the
(06:12):
regulators, the associates, theresidents, they're all getting
angry about something and you'rehaving to try to figure out what
the pattern is, and then thereare the regulations that you
didn't even know that you didn'tknow.
When that happens to you, that'sa huge reality check, right?
(06:33):
here is, when your big vision,the big plan that you have
starts becoming buried by all ofthe small fires that are
brewing.
I wanted to say to you, if youwere in this reality check phase
communication is where most ofthese fires start and can be
(06:55):
extinguished.
It's communication period.
Especially if you are in thephase where you have management
turnover and you are having towork two to three jobs at one
time.
I certainly have done that.
It is hard, but there's a lot ofvalue in having to do that.
Now, we could say that thiswould be the dip if you have
management turnover.
(07:17):
But there's so much value inlearning the role of a manager,
so you can support the next onein such a profound and impactful
way.
But this is the reality checkphase.
This is when we realize life isalways harder than we think it's
going to be.
And when we started askingourselves these questions like,
(07:39):
wait a minute, what happened?
Did I miss something?
Clearly there's something goingon that I'm not aware of.
Or even worse, am I even cut outfor this?
Is this the community for me?
Is this the company for me?
Am I enough?
This is the first sign thatyou're entering the dip, and the
(08:01):
dip is the inevitable valleybetween starting and mastering
between your excitement and yourexpertise.
The dip is worth it, but only ifyou know why it's worth it.
This is where the quote,everything worthwhile is uphill.
Makes perfect sense.
(08:22):
We started out with hopefulenthusiasm, complete blind
passion.
This is gonna be the best thingever.
And then we hit reality and werealize, oh.
It's gonna take a little bitmore effort or a lot more effort
than I thought.
And here is the crossroadsphase.
This is where most peoplerealize they're at and decide,
(08:47):
this isn't for me.
This is the gut check phase, themessy middle, the valley of
despair, whatever you wanna callit.
This is the crossroads phase.
Almost everything worth doing.
Requires a dip.
Think about riding a bike.
It required a learning curve.
(09:08):
The dip is the learning curveFor me, learning how to do this
podcast, if you walk into acommunity and your occupancy is
very low, the dip is going to bethe occupancy growth.
It's hard, but there's so muchvalue in the journey that you
want to continue.
(09:29):
The dip, the valley of despair.
This is where extraordinarybenefits accrue to the tiny
minority who push through just abit longer than most.
It's that time in the book.
The author Seth Godin talksabout like if we're at the
grocery store line and we'reconstantly surveying what line
(09:50):
is the shortest, and if we arein a longer line, we move to the
next line.
But you know what happens whenwe move from a long line to a
shorter line and it takes longerthan we actually thought?
to go through that short line,because you know, that's
happened to all of us, is wedon't get the credit.
(10:11):
For the time spent waiting inthe previous line.
And if we constantly movebecause the struggle is real
'cause the valley of despair istoo deep, because the messy
middle is too messy, we don'tmove forward in the progress of
our life.
We don't get credit for the workat other places.
(10:33):
And that's why the crossroadsphase of senior living
leadership is very important.
Because what do we want?
Is the short-term discomfort notworth the long-term benefits?
I think that's a question thatwe, I have to ask ourselves
because the crossroads is wherewe gain the most in our life.
(10:57):
The valley of despair, the messymiddle, that embracing of
discomfort, there's value inthat as long as you know it's
going to end, as long as youknow what the end success looks
like, as long as you know thatyou're embracing the struggle
(11:19):
for a very specific reason.
You will never learn how tosolve the same problem in your
life if you constantly run fromit.
And in fact, the same problem isgoing to keep showing up over
and over again unless you facethis crossroads phase, this
(11:40):
messy middle, this valley ofdespair because most leaders
quit here.
Most leaders abandon thecommunity that they're in, and
they go to another communitythinking that it's going to be
better.
There's better conditions,there's better management,
there's better support.
Maybe there is, okay, maybethere is, but you will not
(12:02):
become better if you don'tembrace the struggle, if you
don't learn from the mistakesthat you make in this struggle
and learn how to not repeat themover and over again.
When you move from a communityto a community, it's addicting
in some way because you'restarting back at hopeful
enthusiasm again.
(12:23):
You see like you're repeatingthe pattern.
You're going from hopefulenthusiasm to that reality check
moment.
Then that really messy middle,that dip.
And then if you choose to moveto another community to try to
find the better conditions,better support, you're starting
(12:43):
over again in this cycle ofconstantly avoiding the
discomfort is something that'sgoing to cause you to never win,
never win.
You will never succeed to thepoint that you truly want to go
if you can't embrace the workthat will get you there, because
this dip, this valley of despairwalking through it is the
(13:08):
quickest way to earn the outcomethat you want.
Not avoiding it and going to thenext best thing, but actually
walking through it.
Walking through the pain,learning from the discomfort,
becoming aware that.
There are elements of you thatare the problem and fixing it is
(13:31):
how you go to the next phase,which is confident ownership
because when you quit in thedip, you waste every ounce of
energy already spent trying towalk through it and starting
over doesn't give you the creditfor how long you tried somewhere
(13:53):
else.
That's why it's important for usto understand that the fastest
way to expertise, the fastestway to becoming the expert in
your field, the leader that youwanna be, the mastery of running
a successful senior livingcommunity is to stay through the
(14:13):
messy middle and to earn yourway into confident ownership,
which is valuing yourself,valuing the experience that you
had, and knowing that when thenext dip comes, there is
something valuable to learn fromit.
Because if you push through, ifyou don't bail when it's hard,
(14:33):
something powerful happens.
You stop fighting every fire andyou start leading.
Through the dip, you startleading knowing that the value
on the other side is worth thepain in the middle, and you have
very clear priorities.
You build trust and you say topeople, this is worth it.
(14:56):
Come on.
And they believe it because youhave the experience.
You believe it because yousurvived the hard parts.
That's what the dip teaches us.
That's what the hard parts teachus.
I've spoken to a lot of leaderswho tried to fix everything
overnight, and that is notpossible.
That's where a lot of thisburnout lives.
That's where you want to quitthe dip because you don't see
(15:20):
the impact.
But fixing everything overnightis not the solution.
It really is understanding whatneeds to be fixed first.
And then fixing everything else.
And again, I believe firmly thatcommunication is where you start
fixing, learning, improving, andeverything else will fall into
(15:44):
place.
Communication is the quickestway in senior living, I believe,
to move through the dip.
Because when you can work oncommunication, when you can work
on your resilience andunderstanding that the dip, the
hard parts are worth it, youbecome the leader that you wish
you had because you can supportother people through the dip.
(16:06):
Imagine being an executivedirector who can help a director
of nursing through the dipbecause these nurses may be
quitting because it's hard.
Imagine being an executivedirector who understands that
the people.
Are the biggest area of focusingon the potential to make, to
create more time, more freedom.
(16:27):
When you start focusing onpeople and not necessarily the
policies and procedures in thepaperwork, it's the people.
Imagine the leader whounderstood because of previous
dips that it's emotionalintelligence and the way that we
think and communicate withourselves.
That's the most important assetthat we have in moving out of
(16:48):
the dip.
In a safe and healthy way forourselves.
The dip creates value.
Working through the dip and intothe confident ownership creates
value because not a lot ofpeople can do it.
And if you can do it and comeout the other side better than
(17:10):
before, healthier mindset,knowing that growth is the goal.
Not.
The goal itself that's wherescarcity makes you valuable.
That's when you understand yoursuper strength.
That's when you understand thework is worth the result.
(17:32):
In today's senior living world,leaders who stick it out are
rare, and that rarity is wherethe true value lives.
In a world where everyone gets atrophy, everyone gets a ribbon.
Every grade gets a ceremony tomove on to the next.
(17:52):
The people who can stick out thehard stuff and learn from it and
value what they learn from itwill set themselves apart, but
not even to the next level ofleadership or the next title.
It's to themselves because theonly person that matters, the
(18:13):
only person's thoughts thatmatter about you are yours.
And if you constantly letyourself down, if you constantly
quit when it's hard, then younever believe that you can.
You always will blame yourcircumstances or people, but the
(18:35):
truth is it's because you don'tbelieve in yourself.
We can project pain onto otherpeople and not even realize it,
and that is an important lessonto learn.
But if you can show up foryourself, and give yourself
permission to celebrate thesmall wins.
(18:56):
And I mean, truly know what youwon today.
And to improve the skills to getyou to where you wanna go.
A hundred percent bettercommunicator, hiring the right
people.
Watch yourself grow.
Watch yourself confidenceimprove because the people who
(19:17):
skip going from the crossroadsphase to the confident ownership
phase, I believe don't haveenough self-confidence.
Self-belief, self-worth forthemselves because they don't
think they can do it and theyquit.
Quitting is not always losing.
(19:40):
There are times where quittingis the right answer and there
are times when digging our heelsin and.
Saying, I'm gonna grow throughthis.
Dip is really important.
So how do we know?
How do we know when to quit andwhen to keep going?
in this book, the Dip, There arethree ways to think about the
(20:02):
problem, the dip that you're in,which is really important.
And honestly it's brilliant.
I wish I came up with thismyself.
So how do we know if we shouldstick it out or make a strategic
exit if we're in the middle ofthe dip, right?
Which is the crossroads.
Before the confident ownership.
(20:24):
And if this dip for you is justa dip, it's worth pushing
through.
we start here at HopefulEnthusiasm, and then we get
closer, and then we're at thereality check phase, and then we
go down into the dip.
But the thing about a dip isthat it comes back up.
the, it comes back up.
And so we know that if we are ina true dip, we start off high,
(20:49):
we fall down low because we'rein that learning curve, and then
we come back up because we'velearned what we need to learn to
get to the next level.
That's a dip.
The outcomes are worth it.
But then we have somethingcalled the cul-de-sac?
Which is a dead end.
That no matter what you do,there's no growth.
(21:11):
I have heard people say thatthere's no growth in a control
room.
There's no growth in anenvironment where everything is
so controlled that anything thatyou do outside of what you're
told to do is chastised and notallowed.
There's no growth.
There's no opportunity to learn.
You have learned everything thatyou're going to learn.
(21:33):
You have applied everything thatyou're going to apply.
There is nowhere else for you togo.
That's a cul-de-sac.
You're at a dead end, so maybethe pain that you're feeling is
not worth it at that point.
Maybe you've gone as far asyou're going to go.
You've gained everything thatyou can gain If you were in that
position.
(21:54):
Maybe it's time for a strategicexit to go towards the next
level of your growth, of yourcareer, of your life.
If there's nothing left to gain,to receive, to implement, and
you want more, then that's thecul-de-sac, and a strategic exit
that is not quitting.
(22:15):
That is knowing what you wantand walking towards the next
phase.
It's empowerment.
And then you have the cliff,which lemme tell you something,
I, the reason why this is sovaluable to me is that I never
knew how to quit.
I didn't know how to quit.
I lived my life knowing that Iwasn't going to quit because
quitters never win.
(22:36):
I will gut through this.
I will make this work because Iam not a quitter.
And you know, some parts of yourlife that works.
But then at some points, of yourlife, that no longer works
because that gut, that grit, itbecomes too intense, And the
other part is you run into acliff, which to me is the
burnout in my life, in mycareer.
(22:59):
With my mindset that quittersnever win, that I will make this
work no matter what.
I cannot leave the people that Ilove.
I cannot leave my community.
The cliff happens.
The cliff is the burnout.
The cliff is you are tooaggressive and too passionate.
You have ignored all the warningsigns, all the lights came up on
(23:24):
your dashboard and it says youneed attention now, but you
ignored the lights and you ranoff the cliff.
That's a brutal way of realizingthat the dip isn't worth, it
wasn't worth it.
because if it's going to cost useverything we have, the dip may
(23:45):
not be worth it.
The outcome wasn't there.
The people never appreciated it,or you never were able to
receive the communication thatthey were trying to give you.
The cliff is a very harsh way ofrealizing that it was time to
leave.
And you didn't leave, but as agreat teacher and understanding,
(24:10):
what warning signs did youignore?
Why did you ignore them, and whywere they important?
For me, it was the best lessonin life that sometimes quitting
is the most gracious thing thatyou can do for yourself and in
another way.
Understanding The dip is hard.
(24:35):
But it has an end, and thereward is on the other side, and
it's up to you to understand, isthe reward worth it?
Is there a reward?
A paycheck is a reward, but isthe paycheck enough?
(24:57):
Is growth.
Now more important to you thanjust a paycheck.
And can you look at the dip, thevalley of despair or the messy
middle in a way that is healthyand helps you grow through what
you go through.
You grow to the next phase ofyour life.
(25:21):
just to summarize the threedifferent ways to view the dip
of whether or not this is worthit for you is one question, Am I
willing to pay the price toachieve my dreams?
Can I commit to discipline tosurvive the dip?
And those are importantquestions to ask yourself.
When you are walking throughthose really challenging times,
(25:45):
the cul-de-sac is the job or thecircumstance that goes nowhere.
You can keep trying forever andstay exactly where you are if
you are stuck in the cul-de-sac.
Quitting strategically is wise.
If you want more growth, if yourlife circumstances can afford
you the time and the disciplinecommitment that growing through
(26:08):
the dip requires to find yournext mountain, the cliff, that's
where you ignore all the warningsigns until there's no option
but to quit or walked out thedoor.
in senior living, we call thatburnout, or as I like to call
it, the flame out.
If you keep quitting in the dip,you'll find yourself starting
(26:30):
many things, but finishing veryfew, starting is easy, and
finishing is where the magichappens.
So if you are in the phase whereyou're asking yourself, should I
quit?
Am I quitting?
Do I need to quit?
Am I cut out for this?
Am I enough?
I really want you to understandthis.
(26:52):
The problems on your desk is notbecause you're not enough.
Maybe you don't know what youdon't know.
Maybe you don't have theskillset that you need for all
the problems that are on yourdesk, and that's okay.
As long as you're aware of whereyou need to grow, it's not
necessarily failing.
When you have the awareness tounderstand what I need to grow,
(27:15):
I want you to look at thosestack of problems, those small
fires smoldering in every areaof your community or your life.
And I want you to look at it asproof that you have an
opportunity to expand yourcapacity, that your leadership
and the impact that you wannahave in this life, in this world
(27:36):
deserves expansion.
Imagine looking at the stack ofproblems that you have
personally, professionally, anyway as a way of growing your
capacity.
Problem solving is a skill weall gonna have.
The world is continuing to havebigger and worse problems for us
(27:57):
to solve.
That's not gonna go away.
So if you continue to thinkabout things as, I'm not enough.
Or I'm not good enough, or I'm afailure, you're never going to
be better.
But if you look at'em as anopportunity to get better, to
improve your skill, to grow yourimpact because it deserves it,
(28:19):
because you have the potentialto impact in a positive way, all
of a sudden life changesdramatically.
Everything you look at,everything that you do is
through the lens of growing, ofgetting better, of increasing my
capacity.
And yes, sometimes that'sexhausting and you need to take
a break, but it's motivating,it's inspiring.
(28:40):
It will keep you committed tothe road ahead and the growth.
And it doesn't matter whatanybody else thinks.
It matters what you think andwhat you're willing and able to
commit to, and that's growing.
But we all have to ask ourselvessome hard questions when it
comes to the environment thatwe're in.
(29:01):
If we're in the cul-de-sac, ifwe're running towards the cliff,
or if we're just in a dip.
Do I need to quit?
Do I need to find betterconditions in order to be
successful?
Because these are realcircumstances that we need to
address.
So before you actually.
Submit a letter of resignation.
I want you to ask yourself threequestions.
(29:24):
Am I panicking because, hey,quick thought of I need to quit,
or I'm in trouble, or I made amistake.
I need to quit, is a panicsignal because you don't want to
feel the sting of.
(29:44):
The negative repercussions.
We cannot act on a panickedthought.
Maybe we did make a mistake.
Maybe we need to suffer theconsequences.
I remember making a huge mistakeand a very big emotional
response.
I've talked about it a lot and Icalled my regional director and
I said, I think I need to quit.
That was a very irrationalresponse to a situation that I
(30:09):
certainly did not show up for asmy best, but I was panicked.
I didn't want to be forced out.
I wanted to quit on my ownterms, I didn't have a plan, so
that was panic.
That was not a strategic exit,that was a panicked Emotional
response.
So if you are panicking and youmake a mistake, or you're
(30:30):
scared, or you had a bad salescall, or you had a bad financial
review, call sleep on it, talkit out.
Regain perspective.
Create a story.
Tell the story in a way thatserves the community, the
company, and yourself.
I'm gonna learn through this.
I'm gonna grow through this.
I understand I'm not gonna makethe same mistake again.
(30:52):
All of those are very important.
The second question is, who am Itrying to influence and can they
be influenced?
Sometimes we fight the wrongbattles.
The biggest mistake I ever made,and maybe you're making the same
mistake too, was not knowing theanswer to this question.
(31:14):
Who am I trying to influence?
Really?
Who, because I projected a lotof pain on to other people.
I projected my own negativeself-image, my own negative
self-talk, my own negativeself-worth on to other people.
And I assumed that they thoughtabout me the way that I thought
(31:35):
about me.
And so when I was trying to killmyself to get to a hundred
percent after COVID and to provemy worth to these people, I
believed it was because theythought I was unworthy.
And the problem is they didn'tthink like that.
They didn't think about me atall.
I'm the one that put that onthem, and they had no idea that
(32:00):
I was doing that.
That is the biggest mistake Iwas making.
I was trying to influence peoplethat didn't need to be
influenced, I needed toinfluence myself.
I needed to change the way thatI thought about myself.
I needed to change the way thatI viewed every problem inside of
my community as a way to growinstead of a way to prove my
(32:21):
unworthiness.
And that gets deep.
But if you take the time and youthink about this, you might find
yourself doing the same thing,whether it's in your.
Personal relationships, yourprofessional relationships.
The way that you see yourself isthe way that you will think
other people see you, Who areyou trying to influence and can
(32:43):
they be influenced?
Do they even think the way thatyou do?
Do they even want the outcomethat you're trying to offer?
If they can be influenced, okay,but if you are wanting to quit
and there's no way around andthe discomfort that you're
(33:04):
feeling cannot be influenced,the outcomes aren't worth it,
then make a plan, but don't makea reactive decision.
You can give a company, you cangive somebody everything they
want, and you can stay the sameperson stuck in the same
(33:25):
negative loops in life becauseyou were thinking that by giving
them what they want, they weregoing to be influenced to see
you in the way that you wantedto be seen.
Therefore, you remain stuck.
Figure out who you're trying toinfluence and if they can be
influenced and try to understandis it really you that needs to
(33:47):
be influenced by the way thatyou think about yourself?
And question number three, willquitting get me something that's
staying through the dip?
Won't.
Is the discomfort worth thereward?
And are you.
Escaping growth by quitting.
When the answer is yes, when youbelieve that the messy middle is
(34:11):
worth the mastery, the impact,and the calm confidence on the
other side, don't you dare quitin the dip because the dip is
why you're here.
It's the secret that weeds outthe mediocre and leaves room for
the truly great opportunitiesthat lie ahead for people who
(34:34):
are willing to work in the dip,the messy middle, or the valley
of despair.
Remember, your growth is notautomatic, and success does not
guarantee leadership impact orgrowth inside of a company.
But when you know what you want,when you know what you're
(34:54):
willing to commit to, when youknow the price that you're
willing to pay for theexpertise.
That you deserve, that youbelieve that you're worth and
that you're capable ofcommitting to the dip is worth
the discomfort.
In senior living, the goal is toget to a hundred percent and to
have great NOI.
(35:15):
The problem is, is that gettingthere is the dip.
Getting there is the hard part,and getting there is worth the
effort of learning how to do itin a healthy and positive way.
This will help you become theleader that you were born to be.
Adversity can be your ally ifyou look at it from a place of
(35:37):
being enough, being worthy andwilling to pay the price to
become the expert, because thatis where growth happens from a
place of enoughness andcuriosity to understand what
it's like to actually meet thegoals that you want.
Most people run from thediscomfort, but the brave ones
(35:59):
will stay.
The brave ones will grow and thebrave ones will gain more than
they ever thought was possiblebecause they believed and they
committed to the discomfort.
We wanna help leaders master themessy middle.
So you don't just survive it,you own it.
If this episode inspired you,made you feel a little bit of
(36:24):
motivation, share it with theleader who needs it.
Follow the podcast so you canknow that you're not alone, that
the person who understands.
The dip, the messy middle, thehard parts, the commitment, the
price to success is here helpingyou understand that it's worth
it as long as you're beinghealthy and as long as you have
(36:46):
the self-awareness to know thatit is worth it, that you are
enough, and that you just haveto find the right people to help
you get there in a healthy andfaster way.
So stick with it.
That's what my course is for.
That's what my coaching programsare for, and that's what
one-on-one coaching can do foryou.
(37:08):
To give you the confidence andthe strength to make it through
the messy middle.
Don't do it alone.
Plug in to a community thatunderstands and wants you to
succeed.
I'm cheering you on always.
You've got this.
And aspire for more for youbecause when you own your story,
(37:28):
you can create your future.
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