Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
thank you for being here.
this podcast is for the leaderswho need mentoring and
motivation and someencouragement.
And a way to create momentum intheir leadership, journey.
And that's my goal for you, isto talk about topics I hear
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leaders say they want moreinformation about how to be a
better leader because leadershipstarts with you.
And today we're gonna talkabout, to me the framework.
Of how to shift from a controlbased leadership to an influence
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based leadership.
we have previously talked abouthow control based leader, they
use authority.
They are talking about how Idecide, I'm the one that makes
the decisions.
I'm enforcing the rules, I'mmicromanaging, and I am using
maybe a little bit of fear tolead the community.
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if you don't do this, I'm gonnahave to write you up.
God, how many times have I heardthat?
And it just doesn't make sense.
especially if you're not gonnado it.
No creativity.
No ownership.
No retention, no impact, right?
Like you're not going to growpeople inside of a control room.
And if you're trying to controland tell people what to do, then
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it's not really gonna happen.
The modern day worker is alittle hip to control.
They're just like, I don't haveto be here.
I'm gonna go find somewhere elseto work.
So the leadership has to change.
The leadership has to understandwe have to do things
differently.
And so then the next level ofleadership is a management based
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leadership, which is obviouslybetter than a control based
leadership, but.
It is the next layer.
It's the I direct.
I don't necessarily have to dothe work, but I need to be the
one to tell you how to do thework.
And we are managing processesand we're ensuring compliance
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and we're living an averagelife, but average isn't good
enough anymore.
Although some of us would likeaverage because it's so bad
right now.
I get that.
you get stability.
It's limited and reallylong-term growth.
Management can keep things thesame, but leadership needs to be
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the one that leads people into anew era of work.
Management based leadershipfeels comfortable, and it's
where most leaders operate, butIt's time for us to shift.
From management to influence,because influence based
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leadership is how we are goingto get people to be the best
versions of themselves.
We're gonna educate, we're goingto empower people, we're going
to trust them, and we're gonnacreate a growth environment
inside of our community.
That's what influence brings.
And if you do it right.
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You create more freedom insideof your community for you and
for other leaders.
So how do we do it?
How do we go from control tomanagement to top of the heap,
which is influence basedleadership?
I'm gonna talk to you about thattoday, and I'm excited about it.
If you've.
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Bought my course and you'velistened to a few other podcasts
or read a few of my emails thatI send out on Saturday morning,
my mentoring emails, you willunderstand one of my favorite
parts of the Seven Habits ofHighly Successful People.
One of my favorite parts aboutthe book that completely shaped
my leadership was the emotionalbank account.
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In really understanding thatconcept and embodying it to
understand that myresponsibility is to add value
into everybody's emotional bankaccount.
Now that goes to families, toresidents, to associates, to
vendors, to tours.
I understand that everybodywalking in and out of my
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community, in and out of mylife.
I want to add value into theirlives.
I want the emotional bankaccount that I am responsible
for in their life.
To rise.
That's what I want it to do.
I want the numbers, the depositsto rise, and that is the
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framework on how you can buildinfluence inside of your
community.
Before I talk about what theRISE framework is, I want you to
understand one thing, youmatter.
How you invest in yourselfmatters.
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If you plan on literally makingthis framework happen for you
and your life, or learning howto be a more influential leader,
you're gonna have to invest inyourself.
Self-awareness andself-regulation are very
important.
Why Erin?
Why is it so important?
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Because when you startinvesting, it's a long term
investment.
Some of the people in yourcommunity will react very
quickly to your investment inthem.
And some people are going tolook at you and they're gonna be
like, what are you doing?
Why are you doing this?
Are you gonna keep doing this?
And really be very skeptical.
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if you are looking to invest.
In people and want them tochange, it's going to take time.
the thing that's going to stopyou from doing this consistently
and for long term, is thedisappointment and the
frustration that you don't seechange happening fast enough.
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But I wanna say to you thatchange comes subtly every day.
Is another day of progress.
And you have to look for thesubtle signs that people are
starting to relax and trust you.
They're starting to see whatyou're trying to do.
They're starting to receive thebenefits that you're trying to
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give them.
And if you're not self-awareenough, and if you can't
regulate your own emotionsenough, you are going to find
this to be very difficult andyou are not going to want to do
it.
But I'm here to tell you do itanyway.
Make it a priority to add valueto other people because it adds
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value to you.
Do it anyway.
Walk your halls in the morningand say Good morning, and say
nice things to people justbecause it'll actually make you
feel better.
Tell people how nice they look,show people what they're doing.
That's making an impact inpeople's lives because what you
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see and what acknowledgementthat you give and what you
praise in public will be whatcontinues to happen.
And if you start planting theseeds.
Of positivity, of impact, ofcommitment, and you start
influencing people for that 30seconds to a minute, to two
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minutes that they see you, youare gonna start seeing change,
but it takes time.
Like your 401k, just because youput$50 in a week or$200 in a
week doesn't mean.
That you're going to have amillion dollars tomorrow, but it
does mean over time and in theright conditions that you'll
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have a million dollars 40 yearsfrom now if you invest enough
money enough physical dollarsand enough time to let it
compound So think of it like a401k that actually grows faster
than a 401k, but that is goingto take time.
Okay, so expectations breedsresentment, and resentment kills
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your joy.
Resentments are uncommunicatedexpectations.
So when you start the process ofreplacing control or management
based leadership to influence,know that it's going to take
time.
it's going to feeluncomfortable.
Growth happens in theuncomfortableness, don't quit
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because it's uncomfortable.
Those dip moments, those valleysin between mountains, they still
grow flowers, right?
They still have value.
Don't quit in the dip.
Don't quit in the valley.
Keep going because the outcomesare worth it.
And the other thing.
Don't expect a hundred percentof your team to respond.
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that's an unrealisticexpectation, but believe that
the people who can make thebiggest impact in your community
will respond.
Always talk to the people whoare moving the needle because
you want people to rise to theoccasion and not lower to a
standard that other people set.
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You want them to rise to thestandard you set, and in order
to do that, you're going to haveto talk to them in a way that it
makes it feel worth it.
Realistic and important.
So this is why investing inyourself matters.
This is why understanding humanpsychology and human behavior,
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Matters, and this is why makingthe investment in people's
emotional bank accounts matterbecause you're going to make a
mistake.
But if they trust you and theysee you trying and they see you
being consistent with it, thenyou can get over it and back on
the positive path very quickly.
So the RISE framework, which isgoing from.
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Control based to managementbased to influence based is a
four part framework that focuseson relationships, inspiration,
strategy, and empowerment.
That is the RISE framework.
So if you want to try to startbuilding more influence, less
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control, less fear, morepositive impact inside your
community, we're gonna focus onrelationships.
Inspiring people, strategy andempowerment.
our first letter in theframework is R, which is
Relationships.
Here's what you need to knowabout relationships, the way
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that you think about people.
Matters, period.
You cannot make the other personfeel important in your presence.
If you secretly feel thatthey're not important.
That energy is felt.
The way that you think aboutpeople directly affects the way.
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That you interact with people,it directly affects your
relationship with them.
when you make comments aboutpeople don't wanna work anymore,
or they don't wanna workanymore, or I can't find anybody
who can do this job, or it'sbetter than I just do it myself.
You are communicating.
Something very negative toanother person, to a member on
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your team, to a member ofmanagement, and then you're
poisoning somebody else aboutthe way that they think about
somebody or even the way theythink about themselves.
So it's really important for youto understand that the way that
you think about somebodydirectly affects how close and
your ability to connect withthat other person.
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So the way you think.
Affects everything you dobecause the way you think
affects your emotions.
Your emotions affect youractions and your actions affect
your results.
People are only influenced bypeople that make them feel good
about themselves in some way.
I see what they're doing andwhat they're saying are aligned.
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I see that they're actuallyworking in the vision that
they're trying to communicate tous, so therefore, I am
influenced.
The relationships that you havewith your team members, with
your residents, with yourfamilies, with your vendors,
with your corporate office, allthe things are really important.
Leadership starts where trustbegins.
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That's where influence is.
It's in the trust.
Trust is like the oxygen ofleadership.
Trust can inspire change.
Trust can make people chooseyou, your community, to work
there, to live there.
How they feel when they'rearound you is really important,
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and that's why what you thinkabout them matters.
maybe we can't find anybody towork.
I think that's true.
It's hard to find people to workin the amount of jobs that we
need today and in the future.
All of that is true, but if wesit in that frustration, the
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energy that is created is notgoing to attract the people that
you want in that community.
So what you're thinking doesn'tserve you.
You need to change it.
I'm not looking for just anybodyto work in this community.
I'm looking for the right peopleto work in this community and
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the right people are.
And that's a question for you toanswer because if we just hire
anybody, then we dilute thepurposeful, meaningful people
who are.
Really completing 20% of thejobs, 20% of the tasks.
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But when we look at the peoplewho are doing that 20%, and we
figure out the patterns.
what is the similarities betweenthem?
We can go into each interviewand we can find the right type
of people by asking the rightquestions, by being under the
right frame of mind, byunderstanding that I need people
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that I can build relationshipswith, who will allow me to
connect with them and who wantthe same things that we want,
and honestly be a springboardfor people's career.
Hire people who need to work inthe environment to be a better
leader or nurse, or LPN, be aspringboard, and that way people
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will always be coming in andout.
That is why relationships areimportant and the way that we
think about our people that weserve is very important.
There are three questions thatpeople ask inside of your
community, whether they livethere or they work there or
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they're being interviewed there.
Can I connect with you and areyou going to connect with me?
Can I trust you?
To treat me well as an employee.
Can I trust you to take care ofmy loved one?
Can I trust you to take care ofme?
And are you committed?
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And that's a big question withturnover and retention the way
that it is.
Are you committed to doing agood job?
Are you committed to caring forme?
Are you committed to ensure thatyour team is caring for me?
And as an associate, are youcommitted to ensure that I will
be treated fairly and withrespect?
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And then do you care about me asa person?
So people who are trying tobuild relationships with you,
whether they're coming to workinside of your community, or
whether they're choosing to livewith you in their community, can
I trust you to care for me?
Are you committed to thisawesome responsibility and do
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you care about me as a person?
And that is why the way that youthink about the people that you
serve, whether it's employees orwhether it's associates matter.
If you want to become aninfluence based leadership and
inspire people to be the bestversions of themselves, you have
to answer yes to all three ofthose questions.
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That's what marketing is, that'swhat leadership is.
That's what sales is.
That's what a leader has to beable to communicate to the
people that they serve.
another part of relationshipsinside of our communities,
whether it's with associates orwith families, is that
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encouragement is the oxygen ofthe soul.
Have you ever had those momentswhere you are so down and no
matter what anyone says, youjust aren't receiving it, and
then out of the blue a strangersays something to you and your
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entire world just changes.
Has that ever happened to you?
It has happened to me.
And it completely changed theoutlook of my life, and it was a
simple, kind gesture that didn'thave to be said and probably was
said to me by lots of people,but I felt like they had to say
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that to me.
But because some stranger whohad no context of what was going
on in my life looked atsomething that I had given them
and gave me a very.
Simple and yet powerfulcompliment that all of a sudden
made my head rise, my shouldersstand up and actually be a
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decisive, pivotal factor inwhere the next phase of my life
was going.
That is encouragement and thatis what you get to do when you
work on the RISE framework, whenyou work on relationships,
because encouragement is thismagical force.
That can make you do things thatyou never thought were possible,
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it requires a little bit ofmomentum and so it requires a
lot of encouragement for somepeople to get the courage, to
take the first step, and inother people, all it needs is
one or two sentences.
That's all they needed to bepushed over that courage edge.
So don't underestimate the powerof encouragement, the way that
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you think about the people thatyou serve and how your
relationship and your presenceand just adding value to them
can change so much The changeswill be so subtle that you'll
feel like all of a suddeneverything started working.
All the work that you poured in,all the emotional deposits that
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you poured into, all of a suddenjust created this huge boom when
there were subtle signs allalong the way.
the next letter in the riseframework is inspiration.
Now to me, Inspiration can getconfused with having to be this
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magnetic, charming, motivatedperson who can say all the right
things at the right time andinspire people to change.
And that is not necessary.
You don't have to be mosteloquent speaker.
You don't have to, be the mostmotivated person in the world
and show people how much, youknow, you just have to be
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authentic and committed to thecause.
People don't follow tasks, theyfollow purpose, and if they see
you be committed to a purpose,to a vision, to the mission, to
the goals, to the core values.
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They will start doing the samething again.
Subtle shifts, but big impactover time.
Personal note, personal story.
I wanted more control of my lifeat a point.
I felt like I was working allthe time and.
certain positions were beingturned over a lot and I was
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having to work in quite a few ofthem, and I was getting
frustrated.
one of the ways that I dealtwith my frustration was
shopping, which is notappropriate.
I had this moment where I got sofrustrated that I had to tear
down the Amazon boxes I did noteven want the added
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responsibility of tearing downthe Amazon boxes, which is a
real poor problem to have.
talk about privilege.
I had the money at the time, Iwas dealing with my stress.
by becoming addicted to shoppingbecause I could at the moment,
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and then I got frustrated thatthe shopping that I did was
coming in boxes that I had tobreak down and fold up and put
in a bag than the joy ofactually getting the purchase.
very ashamed of that, but it'strue, but it triggered me to
realize, Erin, you have a realproblem.
And we need to go the oppositeway.
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so I made a commitment to myselfto become debt free.
And that commitment is hard if Iwant more control of my life and
I wanna be able to walk awayfrom the thing that was bringing
me the most stress I had torelieve any dependency that I
had.
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On that thing, which obviouslywas that job.
So I decided to pay off everybill that I had and live a
debt-free life.
Now, that did not happenovernight.
It happened over a course of ayear, but I was committed to it.
I budgeted out things for lunch.
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I said no.
I told, people within mycommunity why I was saying no to
things I'm not buying anythinganymore.
and I was living the life that Isaid that I was committed to,
and I wasn't selling it toanybody.
I was selling it to me and I wasjust like, there is something so
joyous.
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About paying off a credit cardbill and to be so excited to pay
off the next one, pay off thecar, pay off all the little
small things that were lingeringout there, student loan debt,
and people started asking mequestions, and then people
started to do the same thing.
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Managers within my communitystarted doing the same thing,
all because I was committed.
To making my life better.
And honestly, it's the biggestraise that you can have, right?
To be out of debt.
and it was an amazing goal toaccomplish and it's really hard
to stay out of debt, But thepoint of that story is to tell
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you that people don't followtasks.
They follow purpose.
They follow what you'recommitted to, and they see the
benefits of what commitmentdoes.
And they want part of that.
Not everybody can go and buy allthe things that they want, but
they can take control of theirlife.
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They can feel accomplished.
They can feel joy.
They can feel the positiveeffects of not having a bill to
pay for.
So inspiration comes in manydifferent forms when somebody's
on a diet and you see theresults that it's working for
them.
If somebody goes to a class andthen they implement what they
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learned and they see thebenefits of it, right?
If somebody has new eyeshadowand it looks really good on them
and you want.
That, that's inspiring otherpeople to take the same action.
So it's not a Tony Robbins typemotivation.
It's understanding what thepreferred outcome is and taking
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the steps to make it happen.
So be authentic.
Talk about the why, talk aboutthe struggles and how you're
overcoming them.
Nothing is more inspiring thenlistening to someone talk about
the fear that they had, and theydid it anyway.
that's inspiring.
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It was uncomfortable.
but I did it anyway.
I know that when I go and addvalue to this person, they're
gonna look at me, they're gonnastare at me, they're gonna make
me feel really small, but itdoesn't matter.
I wanna do it anyway.
And that's inspiring.
S in Rise is strategy.
Okay.
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Influence isn't accidental.
It's intentional strategy isreally deciding who you are
becoming.
I think that we get confused,and I still get confused
honestly, with strategy andtactics.
And I've been really listeningand investing in some of Seth
Godin's books about breakingdown strategy and understanding
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what our tactics, what strategyactually is.
And this is how Seth Godindefines strategy.
It is a philosophy of becomingand a chance to create the
conditions to enable the changethat we seek to make in the
world.
It's not about a specific planwith guarantees, but rather a
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way of thinking that guideslong-term direction and makes
deliberate choices to shape thefuture.
So if you think about it,control based leadership is a
strategy.
I'm going to tell people what todo and they're going to do it.
But that's not a successfulstrategy.
influence based leadership isthis philosophy of I'm going to
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add value to everyone I canbecause it makes me feel good
and because it's going to helpthem rise to the potential that
I see in them.
That's my strategy.
It answers this question.
If I value people, will theyvalue the job more?
That's the strategy.
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People like us are doing thisfor this outcome.
It's focusing on who we want tobecome.
So my tactics of this strategyof adding value to people to
create a good place to live andwork, my tactics are being
present, being positive whileI'm being present, calling out
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people for doing the rightthings, and then discussing
things that may not be the bestof benefit.
Making consistent action acrossthe board and making
communication a number onepriority because I want to add
value to people.
We're becoming valuable becausevalue adding is what I am doing
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as a leader.
It's deliberate choices.
Strategy is about clarifying whoyou want to become.
And the impact that you want tomake, and then building a
culture that resonates withpeople that you aim to serve.
And that's why knowing who youwant when you go into an
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interview is really important.
It is being intentional.
Being intentional with who youhire.
That is strategic because youknow who you are, you know who
you want to become, and you knowthe outcome that you're looking
for.
And so you provide theconditions to make that happen
inside of your community.
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Strategy is very important.
And then we have the finalletter, which is empowerment.
Empowerment is simple.
Empowerment is like this.
You don't rise by lifting yourteam.
You rise by letting your teamrise.
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Empowerment allows you to.
Offload some of thatresponsibility in a very
strategic and controlled way byempowering people.
We want them to try.
We want them to learn and wewant them to grow.
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If I had a sales director, I'mgoing to empower them to make
all the past due calls insidethe database first.
Now, they're not gonna likethat.
but it's really very empoweringexercise because now all of a
sudden they're going to have theexperience of making all those
phone calls, learning theirdatabase, and understanding what
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the next steps are for each oneof them.
When you empower people, yourealize you are not the hero.
You want them to be the hero.
You want them to be able to runtheir department without you.
You want them to be independent.
You no longer want to becodependent.
You no longer say, I decide, orI direct.
You Say, I delegate.
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One of the hardest parts for mewas to allow my really good
managers.
To make decisions withoutconferring with me first.
When they get to the point wherethey can do that.
It's almost like thisbittersweet growth to it where
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I'm not needed.
And I like to be needed.
It's like this codependentrelationship we have with being
needed.
We don't wanna be needed all thetime, but yet we really like to
be needed.
And it's important to understandthe goal is to not be needed.
The goal is to be able to go onvacation and for your team to be
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able to handle all the problems.
Your goal is to be able to haveyour department head go on
vacation and her department runsmoothly because she's empowered
other people to make thosedecisions as well.
Empowerment is walking in frontof beside and behind your
leaders in every part of theirgrowth process.
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Empowerment happens when youcreate a growth environment
inside of your community.
Empowerment is what we need moreof inside of the senior living
industry.
We train, we trust and then welet go, and that's hard.
Letting go is hard, but allowingthe organizational chart to
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speak for itself.
Is really important, allowingyour sales and marketing
director, if you're a salesfocused ed, run the tours and
take the deposits and you'reonly there to be a support
system is hard whenever you'reused to being the one that
everybody needs to turn to, toanswer the questions.
But there is no greater joy thanseeing someone that you've
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invested in, that you've traineddo a great job.
It's a lot of fun to watch thathappen.
So empowerment is delegation.
Empowerment is adding enoughvalue to people that their
self-worth rises and that theywant to do the hard work to get
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better.
Empowerment is investing in yourpeople with leadership coaches
or strategy sessions that helpthem become more self-aware and
more self-regulated.
Empowerment is leadership of thefuture.
It's what the modern daysuperpower is for leaders
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empowering your team.
Have you ever felt empowered?
By somebody.
I have, and it was a uniquesituation.
It was during a very tumultuoustime inside of a community and
the vice president ofoperations.
We had to do this media,response to some things that
were happening that was all overthe news.
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And as an executive director anda corporation.
you're not really involved inthe media strategy.
there's people to handle that,and there were certainly people
to handle that, but I was giventhe opportunity to craft a
statement, the executivedirector, to craft a statement
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for the local news, whereas themarketing PR person crafted the
first statement and signed myname to it.
Clearly, I read it.
But the second statement I wasable to make myself and they
approved it, and that moment andthat hellish moment was this
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little glimmer of empowerment bysomebody who never really made
you feel empowered.
But that person gave me anopportunity.
Trust, she trusted me to make astatement to speak for my
community, and that meant theworld to me.
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I still think about it and I'mlike, wow, I can't believe that
person.
Let me do that.
and for all the negative thingsI could say about a lot in that
person.
That particular circumstancestands out to me above anything
else is that I got thatopportunity and a time was at
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the most vulnerable at thecommunity level.
That was the most vulnerable,and I was able to be a
spokesperson for my communityand I love that.
So allow your team in thesemoments to.
Add context to step in andhandle a situation that maybe
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you might handle, but becauseyou trust them and you train
them and you're willing to letthem go and support them in
their decisions, allow thatexperience for your team member
and watch how they repay youwith strength honor commitment,
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and hopefully doing the rightthing consistently.
It's important for you tounderstand in the closing of
this entire episode, Influencecommunication, consistent
communication.
Being committed to adding valueto people is what you're going
to have to make an effort onmoving forward.
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when you add value to otherpeople and you make those
emotional deposits in their bankaccount, people will rise.
their self-worth will rise.
Their trust levels will rise.
Your occupancy will rise, andhopefully your retention will,
rates will lower.
We don't want those to rise,right?
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But when you focus onrelationships, relationships,
inspiring people to change withyour words and your actions.
And the successes and why you'redoing it.
And even though it hurts, you'restill doing it.
The strategy of knowing who youwant to become and the tactics
that you're using inside thatstrategy, and empowering people
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with encouragement and theability to shine, the
opportunity to prove to you thatthey understood the assignment,
right?
These four pillars.
Will increase your influence,increase your occupancy, and
hopefully increase the rightamount of the right hires inside
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of your community.
It's important.
So which pillar do you thinkthat you need to double down on
right now?
On your community or inside ofyour company?
Is it relationships?
Is it being able to communicatethe struggle and yet still doing
the work to see the outcome?
Is it your strategy, which isknowing exactly who you want to
(37:22):
become and how you're going todo that?
Or is it empowering other peopleto do the work, trusting them?
I talk more about all of this inmy leadership course and my new,
leadership accelerator tied intothe course, which is called the
ED Launch Lab.
(37:43):
If you want to become anexecutive director, if you're a
new executive director or if youare an individual owner that
needs a little bit more supportfor their executive director,
this course and this leadershipaccelerator is for you.
join my email list.
Email me, find me on LinkedIn.
(38:04):
I'm really excited aboutconnecting with you and making
an impact on your community.
Sometimes we just need a littlebit of mentorship, a little bit
of perspective to make it work,and as always, aspire for more
for you and own your story soyou can create your future.