October 9, 2025 • 38 mins
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Speak Like a Visionary Leader: 5 Communication Shifts That Change Everything
Description:
Communication isn’t just how you talk—it’s how you lead, build trust, and influence every room you walk into. In this solo episode, Erin breaks down 5 powerful communication shifts that will help you speak like a visionary, not just a manager. Whether you're leading a morning stand-up or navigating a tough HR conversation, these tools will elevate your clarity, confidence, and leadership impact.
You’ll learn how to:
- Speak to lead, not manage
- Regulate emotions to keep your message clear
- Use fewer words with more weight
- Ask better questions to unlock team growth
- Stop oversharing and start inspiring
This is your roadmap to leading with your voice, and multiplying your influence.
New ED's Playbook to Creating and IMpactful Community Cultrue
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi everyone.
It's Erin and it's me and you.
Today, we are going to betalking about how to speak like
a leader, because communicationreally isn't just how we talk,
it's how we lead.
It's how we build trust, and howwe shape the energy of every
(00:21):
single room that we walk into.
When we walk in.
We need to be present and theyneed to know.
That we are the tone setter,right?
Most leaders are speaking likemanagers, but leaders inside of
the community need to be able tospeak like visionaries.
You need to know what needs tohappen today to have one step
(00:43):
closer to your goal, whateverthat is for you.
Some leaders are oversharing,overexplaining, or reacting
emotionally, and then wonderingwhy no one's.
Following them or doing what weask them.
God knows.
That's so frustrating.
Your voice can either buildtrust or break momentum by the
(01:06):
words that we say, by the tonethat we set, by the energy that
we bring into a room.
And the difference isn't aboutsaying more, it's about saying
it better.
How can I get my point across ina better way?
It's not about more content,it's about less content in a
(01:26):
better way of being delivered.
So in this episode, I'm gonnatalk to you about how you can
shift from being heard to beingfollowed, right?
A leader has to have.
Followers, you have to have ateam willing to walk with you
where you lead them to go.
These five communicationstrategies completely changed
(01:48):
how I lead, how I talk, and Ibelieve they'll change how you
show up to.
I use these strategies even nowas I'm working on presentations,
workshops.
Um, the a hundred percentleader, the, the coaching that I
do, these are some shifts that Iam.
Currently working on and haveworked on and continually are
(02:10):
working on.
When a leader learns tocommunicate with clarity and
confidence and rooted inauthenticity and learning how to
connect, everything will change.
It becomes a lot easier, and westop blaming other people and we
start realizing just how muchinfluence I have over a
(02:31):
situation and that.
Is really where success startshappening.
That's when we start cookingwith the hot sauce folks.
So let's dive into it.
Why is communication or make orbreak skill inside our
community?
Well, if you listen to theepisode last week with Eva
Daniel, I'm going to remind youagain that communication is not
(02:52):
a soft skill.
They're called soft skillsbecause it's hard to, to measure
them, but they're not soft.
They're actually what you needin order to, to be successful,
especially in today's world.
But communication is theleadership skill.
If you wanna create impact, ifyou wanna have influence, if you
wanna stop controlling, if youwanna stop having to be involved
(03:14):
in everything, what is the oneskill that you need that's
communication.
How do I train them effectively?
How do I let them know whatneeds to be done?
How do I equip and empowerpeople in my team to solve
problems on their own, to makedecisions, to say the right
things to families?
That's all coming down to yourcommunication, your ability to
(03:36):
communicate.
Of the six key stakeholders thatwe answer to really is residents
families.
Our teams inside the community,the corporate home office, the
regulatory agencies, and I liketo throw in vendors how you're
gonna be successful in managingAll of that is going to be how
(03:56):
you communicate to them, withthem, for them, and sometimes in
spite of them, right?
If I'm talking to a vendor, Iwanna make sure they understand
what my expectations are, andI'm gonna be asking them
questions about what is.
Realistic in what can be done.
If I'm talking to a familymember, I'm gonna be making sure
that I know what theirexpectations are of me.
(04:19):
Same goes for residents as well.
So communication, every time Istepped into a new community,
which was always distressbecause that was my path, I knew
that building trust, connectingand communicating were the top
three skills that I needed tofocus on because.
The person before me didn't dothat, and that's why occupancy
(04:42):
was low.
Community was a hot mess, wasbecause people just said things
that weren't true that werenever gonna be followed up on,
that never were followed up on.
And expectations of familymembers were not met.
Communication can help you withthat 100% leaders.
Again, 100% is a mindset morethan it is a metric.
(05:04):
It is a goal.
It is a metric.
It's what we're measured by.
It's the, it's the, it's theSuper Bowl of senior living, and
I like to help leaders reach100%.
Okay?
I like to reach a hundredpercent.
It was always the goal of mine.
I wanted to be the best and Iwant you to be the best, and
that's why I make this podcast.
But a hundred percent leadersknow that communication is how
(05:27):
we build trust.
trust is how we grow influenceinside of our community.
You watch certain influencers onsocial media and they're
communicating with you.
They're communicating with you,with the music that they play.
They're communicating with you,with the dance moves that they
do.
They're communicating with youwhile they're putting on their
makeup, and they'recommunicating with you the
(05:47):
makeup that they wear, even ifthey're not talking about it.
There's so much you can learnfrom the people that you follow
on social media because it's allabout influence.
Nonverbal and verbalcommunication.
That's what social media is,right.
So let's get into these fiveshifts.
(06:08):
The shift number one is speak tolead.
Okay?
Do not apologize for theauthority that your title
brings, your title, whatever itis, inside the community or
regional director, or CEO orwhoever's listening to this.
You have a title and at somepoint, it brings a level of
authority.
(06:29):
Don't apologize for thatauthority.
Own that authority.
Like don't be authoritative, butunderstand that when you
downplay your message, peoplewill downplay your leadership.
So if I'm walking into standupor I'm walking to an all
associate meeting.
(06:50):
I am Aaron Thompson, theexecutive director.
The buck stops with me.
Everything stops with me.
I am the leader whether I feellike the leader that day or not.
I'm the leader.
I have got to speak like theexecutive director that I am.
I'm not going to downplay myselfin front of my team.
I am going to esteem myself.
(07:11):
And understand how important themessage is that I'm going to
deliver.
And in fact, it's really notabout you.
It's about your message.
And so if you understand that mymessage is more important than
the way that I feel, then I'mnot gonna downplay the message
because these people need tounderstand what I'm trying to
tell them.
(07:31):
And so that has to be packagedin a way where you are speaking
with authority.
You need to listen to what I saybecause it's important.
So the way that I say it, howfast, how slow I say it, how I'm
looking, people in the eyes, myenergy while I'm leading the
meeting.
All of that is speaking topeople.
I am going to speak like I amthe executive director of this
(07:54):
building and I am gonna teachyou how we're gonna grow to a
hundred percent today.
Your involvement in tours isvery important.
Let me tell you why, right?
Or.
Let's talk about how tocalibrate a thermometer to 32
degrees and not zero, becausethat, that's a message that's
important when you go intomeetings.
One of the best ways to be ableto speak with intention and
(08:15):
certainty and ownership ispreparation.
If you don't have confidencestepping into a presentation or
a all associate meeting, it'sbecause you didn't prepare.
Now, some of us can wing it.
Some of us who've been doingthis for a long enough time and
have taught the same trainings,maybe you can wing it, but
prepare, because preparationbrings confidence.
(08:36):
You can't go on a stage and notprepare and look good and get
the message out that you want.
Okay.
100%.
Leaders don't play small.
They speak with purpose.
Preparation will get you there.
Owning your authority will getyou there.
Understanding that the messageis more important than you, the
(09:00):
way that you feel that day.
And speaking with clarity.
There's a difference betweenspeaking in generalizations and
speaking with.
Specificity.
We'll get into that a little bitmore, but when you speak with
specifics, when you talk about,and you define your direction,
which is my D in the leadacronym, when you define your
(09:23):
direction and you let them knowwhat you want, what you want
them to get out of this meeting,and what your goal is, you're
owning your authority.
Owning your authority is notabout.
Being cocky or conceited orarrogant.
It's about being prepared andunderstanding the point of your
message and presenting it in anownership mentality.
(09:45):
I own this.
I'm gonna speak to you like aleader, not a manager.
Because leaders lead people in adirection that they want them to
go, and managers just keep thestatus quo.
New mindset, speak to lead.
Not to manage.
Own your message and discussyour expectations, because
(10:08):
expectations are an importantpart of leadership.
Do they know my, my expectationsare, do I know what their
expectations are?
Again, your team will mirror theenergy of your message, own it,
speak like the leader that theywant to follow.
So I want you to think about it.
(10:29):
Are you diluting your messagewhen you speak to people?
are you being sheepish?
Do you not have confident inyour tone, in your presence?
Do you allow other people'sopinions to lose your confidence
a bit That's diluting yourmessage.
So know what's important to you.
(10:49):
And anchor into it and speak itlike it's important.
'cause there's a lot of peoplein our communities that will try
to manipulate things that don'tneed to be manipulated.
Okay?
So write down one moment thisweek where you're gonna lead
with your full voice, knowingyour point that you want to make
and you're gonna own it.
cause that's important.
Own your message, do notdownplay it.
(11:11):
Shift number two, don't letemotions hijack the message.
I'm an emotionally and verypassionate person, okay?
I have let my emotions hijack amessage Many times in my life,
many, many, many times, I havelearned that my emotions are
just data points for me, right?
(11:32):
They're not necessarily thedirector that I have allowed
them to be.
Over time.
They should not be steering.
My direction, emotions areenergy bubbles and they rise up
and sometimes they'll go awayand as quick as 90 seconds.
To me, when you let emotionshijack the message, you are
(11:53):
reacting versus responding, orsomebody says something to you
and then all of a sudden yourwhole tone, authority,
ownership, and presence changes.
And you feel like you have nochoice but to react.
And when we react, it'sinstinctively, it's based on our
own trauma triggers.
It's based on our own past.
(12:15):
But when you respond, you takethe time and you think about it,
and you speak to lead, and youown the message to completely
different things, right?
Share your feelings, but leadwith intention.
Just because you said somethingto me doesn't mean that my
message is gonna be off.
It just means that I need totell you how I feel about it,
(12:37):
but I'm gonna lead with point.
I'm gonna speak like a leader.
I'm not going to let my emotionshijack me.
Okay?
Emotions are not the enemy.
Emotions can be leveraged foryou because who doesn't love a
good, passionate speech tellingyou that anything is possible or
a passionate speech saying howmuch you love what you do.
(12:59):
That's owning the moment, right?
But it's also being intentionalwith what you're trying to say.
I think it's important.
For you to really understand, toleverage your emotions and
leverage other people'semotions.
And by leveraging that, I meanuse it to the advantage of the
(13:20):
message that you wanna get outand to inspire people and
motivate people to work towardsthe goal that you both have set.
Emotions can be greatmotivators, but they also can
make a mess.
Of the momentum that you'vecreated.
So when I think about emotionshijacking your message, I am
(13:42):
really discussing the way thatwe place the meaning of
everything, and the meaning thatI placed on a lot of things in
my life were not true.
I made a lot of things personalthat were not personal because
everything was personal to me.
As a passionate person, I pouredeverything I had into everything
I do, and I still do.
(14:03):
But the difference is I don'tmake personal meanings that
affect me in a negative wayanymore.
Somebody doesn't like what Isay, it doesn't bother me.
If somebody chooses to saysomething negative about me, it
doesn't bother me because I knowwhat's true.
The meaning I place oneverything is more important
(14:23):
than what anybody says about me,because I no longer let my
emotions hijack my message.
Now, am I perfect at that?
No.
and I understand when I fall offthe wagon, my emotions are not
going to affect my messagebecause in the past.
It has affected it in a negativeway, so understand the tone of
(14:47):
your leadership is yoursignature.
When I speak to lead, I wannaown my message, and when I feel
the emotions creeping up, Iunderstand that I don't want my
emotions to hijack the message.
I need to do what I need to doto feel the feelings, and yet
stay intent with my message.
(15:08):
My emotions are not my enemy,but they should not be driving
the car in the direction that Iwant them to go.
Okay?
Because emotions come, andemotions go, but our message
should always stay the same.
We're gonna make a communitythat's a great place to live and
work.
And how we're gonna do that isthis.
(15:30):
Okay?
And when you can represent howto speak to lead and how to
lead.
A message without emotionsaffecting it.
You can gain followers, you'restaying on course, and those
people who try to manipulate orcontrol the situations by
throwing these emotionalgrenades at you, if you haven't
(15:51):
had that, congratulations.
Um, but I have, they don't haveany power because you are owning
your message and you're notletting the emotions hijack it.
Again, you're, you're owningyour authority.
Speak to lead.
Do not let your emotions hijackthe message and say less and
mean more of what you say.
(16:14):
This is the phase that I'mreally in right now is how do I
have shorter podcasts that havemore impact?
And it is being specific.
It's not saying as many words,it is being clear.
Right, using pause to get mypoint across rather than a bunch
(16:34):
of filler and fluff words.
when you pre-frame people tounderstand, for them to feel and
perceive things in a certainway, you're speaking with
weight.
When we say words like, I thinkthis is what's going to happen,
and I'm not sure, but I thinkthis is where it's gonna go.
(16:59):
You are automaticallypre-framing people to say that
she doesn't know what she'stalking about just by saying
those words.
But if you reframed it and you,this is what I know to be true
right now, someone's in thehospital and they're gonna go to
rehab and then they're gonnacome here.
Right, and then here's what'snext.
Here's what you can expect tocome next based on the work,
(17:23):
based on the six months thatI've worked in this community,
here's what I have seen, right?
These are authority statements.
Let people know the boundaries,and also that you are speaking
from your experience.
But when you were speaking up toa CEO or to a regional director
or to another layer in thecorporate office, or even in a
(17:45):
regulatory, person inside ofyour community during a survey,
well, I think this is whathappened.
What are they gonna say to you,do you think?
Or do you know?
And so a better phrase is,here's what I know to be true.
Here's what I believe happened,and if you're writing a
investigation, a, a sentence isit is reasonable to conclude,
(18:07):
right?
These are all pre-framing wordsthat help people build their
perception, I think builds aperception that you don't know.
But when you say, I know this tobe true, or I believe this is
what happened, you arepre-framing them to understand.
(18:27):
You're confident.
Two totally different things,and you're speaking to lead in
that moment.
The other thing is the pause.
The pause is very challengingwhen you're a speaker because
you get nervous with the pause.
But when you are a listener.
The pause is what grabs yourattention.
(18:48):
So I'm about to say something toyou and I'm gonna tell you, this
podcast is going to be great.
Let me tell you why, because I'mgonna teach you how to speak to
lead and not to let emotionshijack your, your message, and
to say less and mean more, Thatpause gets you curious.
(19:10):
That pause allows people toreflect in the moment about what
you just said, because when wegive people too much
information, they don't get onepoint out of it.
They're overwhelmed.
And that's the point that I'min.
I like to give peopleeverything, but when you give
people everything, they don'treally have anything because
(19:33):
everything is too much.
So what is the point?
The one sentence, the the onepoint I want them to get from
this one presentation and I needto let them know on the front
end, this is what success isgonna look like.
This is the main point I wantyou to make.
And then for us to be able to becomfortable in the silence.
(19:54):
Because as a speaker it isuncomfortable on stage with the
silence.
Is somebody gonna answer?
Is somebody not?
Are they thinking, what do Ineed to do?
I don't know what to do with myhands.
That's what it feels like upthere on the stage while you're
learning what it's like for thepause.
So in your next team meeting.
Choose one sentence thatcaptures the outcome that this
(20:17):
meeting is for your allassociate staff meeting.
what is the one point or the twopoints that you want the people
in the meeting to get and say itat the front end and say it at
the end, and try not to givethem too much information in
between and use pauses.
(20:37):
And the next point is questionsto help drive the point home.
Just like us as leaders, we needto pause more.
We need to reflect more.
We need to stop trying to bebusy all the time and use the
pauses in life and the rhythmsof the day to our advantage to
(20:57):
be comfortable in the pause.
It's very powerful.
There is power in the pause, andI'm learning this in real time,
so I'm learning this with you.
Some of y'all are probablyreally good at that, and I am
working on it getting betterevery day.
The shift number four is askingbetter questions.
(21:17):
This is the tool that I wish Iwould've really, really had an
understanding about when I wasin the community.
If communication is your numberone tool.
Understanding the power ofquestions is going to be what I
would say is one of the mostimportant parts of
communication.
Why?
Because when you ask peoplequestions, they own the answers,
(21:42):
they own the solutions, theycome up with the answers
themselves, and it shifts thepower in some very tense and
even non tense moments.
Questions.
The power of questions is yourbest friend as a leader, because
(22:02):
how many people, and I am one ofthem, will go to somebody and
say, Hey, how do I do this?
When they could go look at thebinder and find the answers,
they could ask chat, GPT.
They could do all kinds ofthings, but they come to you and
they take your time and they askyou a thousand questions in a
day.
So my response could be, well,how would you find that
(22:24):
information if I wasn't here?
What do you think is the answerto this question?
What have you done in the past,right?
And so now all of a suddenyou're putting the ownership
back on them because when youanswer the questions, you own
the solutions, and the goal isto equip and empower and build
(22:45):
confidence.
And your leaders because youwant more leaders, more problem
solvers in your community.
So leaders should not want tosolve every problem fast because
you want your team to be able tosolve their problems fast.
So uncover slowly.
(23:08):
Think of it like a knot and anecklace.
When you're really fast andyou're really anxious, can you
get that tough knot out?
Not without getting angry andfrustrated, but if you really
try, take a deep breath and, andtry to get that knot out of the
necklace in a very intentionalway, you can probably get it out
(23:28):
much quicker.
And the bigger picture here isat play when you start using
questions as a tool.
So think of it this way, if Ihave somebody who comes up to
me, I was just on a call with acoaching client and we were
talking about gossip.
Gossip is an energy in thecommunity.
It's almost like its own lifeforce.
(23:49):
And most people have a gossipproblem inside of a community.
I know I did and I had a goodcommunity, but Lord have mercy.
Those people like to talk andcreate chaos.
And I will tell you, they justwere comfortable in chaos no
matter what I did.
But you can control thenarrative.
And so if somebody were to bringme a piece of gossip that was
(24:10):
hurtful to me, like on apersonal level or that was
trying to come at me and bringme pain, I now know that I would
ask them, why do you feel like Ineed to know that?
Why do I need to know this?
That shifts the pain, can nolonger manipulate me with your
words.
I'm not gonna let my emotionshijack my meeting, my message,
(24:33):
and I'm also going to speak as aleader.
Why do I need to know thisinformation?
What value does this bring tome?
Right?
You have clearly set a boundarythere, and they own what they're
trying to do.
That is leadership gold rightthere.
The second point of questions ingossip would be when someone
(24:56):
thinks of you in a negative wayor actions in a negative way,
and it goes back to the, well,let me just rephrase it this
way.
Seth Godin has a quote in thebook, tribes, people don't
believe what you tell them.
They rarely believe what youshow them.
They often believe what theirfriends tell them, and they
always believe what they tellthemselves.
(25:20):
So what do leaders do?
They give people stories thatthey can tell themselves stories
about the future and aboutchange.
So that line that people willbelieve what other people tell
them is really important.
And so one of the ways that Itried to combat gossip in my
community was I was veryconsistent with the words that I
(25:40):
chose, with the actions that Idid.
Always trying to act consistentacross the board.
Everybody's family is important.
I never want you to miss a kid.
You know, event, give me enoughtime, I'm gonna make sure it
happens.
You know, those types of things.
And so when somebody would cometo me with this outlandish, idea
(26:01):
that they have of me or beingupset about something, you know,
you can ask them, and I did dothis inside of a community
because I would get frustrated,is what evidence what evidence
do you have for that to be true?
I'm not gonna defend myself toyou, right?
I'm not going to give that anyenergy.
(26:23):
We've got two buckets forgossip.
We have gasoline, which is gonnaadd fuel to the fire, or we have
water and we can distinguish it.
And I believe this question isimportant.
What evidence do you have forthat to be true?
Use that because.
They probably don't have any.
They just believed what somebodytold them rather than looking at
(26:46):
the body of evidence of the workthat I have done for this
community, right, that you havedone for this community.
choosing to value my energy andask the question of what
evidence they have to supportthis claim, this theory, this.
Moment that they have heard andbelieved is important.
(27:06):
Again, it's directing energy,it's speaking to lead.
It's not letting your emotionshijack your message, right?
And you're setting them up tolook at the evidence and
understand, oh, well maybe Idon't have any.
And as the leader, you'retelling them what to believe.
(27:26):
In a nonverbal way becauseyou're giving them the
opportunity to own their ownsolutions, to find their own
answers, right?
And in sales, we all know thatasking better questions is
important, and when you'remanaging vendors and family
members asking questions abouttheir expectations of what's
important to them, what doessuccess look like to you?
(27:46):
These are important questionsfor you to know how to meet
their needs to be successful forthem.
That.
Is the point of leadership,right?
Is understanding what success isand then just meeting that
expectation.
Easier said than done, but themore you communicate, the more
you know, the more you'reconsistent with it.
(28:08):
The more you equip and empowerpeople, the easier these
success, these wins.
Getting to a hundred percentwill be.
So if you remember one thingfrom this episode, remember
this, the leaders who ask thebest questions will unlock the
best outcomes.
(28:28):
Now, soon I'm gonna do a podcaston all the questions, on the
power of questions and how touse them.
I, I could probably have a monthof podcast episodes about that.
This tool is so important and Ibelieve it.
Um, so much so use the power ofquestions.
Alright, shift number five, stopoversharing and start leading.
(28:52):
Clarity builds trust andconfidence and oversharing
drains it.
I have learned that too muchoversharing is often insecurity
in disguise.
Or it is a tool of distractionfor somebody who wants you to
not focus on them and focus oneverybody else.
(29:16):
So as a leader, if I'm gonnaspeak to lead and own my
authority, this goes back to ifI share too much, I lose the
main point.
So I want to stop oversharing.
I don't wanna get very specific.
On the needs and the wants andthe points that I'm trying to
make while I'm talking to you.
(29:36):
So again, let's talk aboutcommunicating up to your home
office because it's important toknow how you communicate into
your community.
Your key directors or even yourfrontline teams are going to be
very different than how you'regoing to communicate up as a new
leader, as a leader who wastrying to prove her worth at
(29:56):
times too corporations and homeoffices, I did overshare.
I wanted them to know the storybefore the story to get to the
main story, to understand thepoint that I want wanted to
make.
The issue is people in the homeoffice are very, very busy, and
if you don't get to your pointin a very specific and quick
way, they're gonna tune you outand they're not going to listen
(30:19):
to you.
I mean, how many times do we dothat to people who overshare
with us?
This, I'm here to say that Ihave, so you can have a
framework.
You could say, okay, here's thesituation.
Here's the solution that I want.
Here's what I have done to fixthe situation, and here's how
we're going to move forward.
Here's where we are right now.
(30:40):
Here's what I'm doing about it.
Here's the solution that I want,and here's how I'll move forward
with that solution.
That is how you communicate up.
It's how you communicate tofamilies.
That's how you communicate tovendors.
they don't need to knoweverything.
They need to know what's mostimportant, and they need to know
(31:00):
what your expectations are, whatyou can and cannot do, what you
will and will not tolerate.
Right?
Here are my expectations.
When you overshare, you diluteyour message.
When your emotions hijack yourmessage, you dilute your
message.
When you downplay your role andthe importance of your message,
you dilute your message.
Think about when you're doing aninvestigation for an incident,
(31:24):
for an abuse allegation for yourfinancial review.
And, and you're asking peoplequestions and they're
oversharing with you.
What are they doing?
They're distracting you.
And if you start chasing downevery rabbit hole that they
want, you have no time.
You're not being productive,you're not moving forward,
you're staying stuck.
You can't get done with theproject that you need to get
done.
(31:44):
Oversharing is a distractionmechanism.
People will tune you out.
And that's not what you want.
So when you speak, speak withgrace, speak with confidence,
speak with firmness, and be veryclear on the direction that you
want to go.
I, so as we wrap up thisepisode, let's run it back one
(32:08):
more time before we close.
You wanna speak to lead?
You wanna speak with authority.
You don't want your emotions tohijack your message.
You want to lead your emotions,be aware of them, and don't let
them be your enemy.
Use them for leverage.
(32:28):
Don't let them drive the car,okay?
They're not the ones that'sleading the charge.
Here you are.
Do not react.
You want to respondintentionally.
Use fewer words that carry moreweight.
Don't use phrases like, I thinkyou want to use phrases like,
this is what I know to be truebased on my experience, right?
(32:52):
You're pre-framing people how tothink about something, how to
think about you and yourleadership.
Ask questions that unlock growthBetter questions lead to better
outcomes.
Let people own their ownsolutions.
Don't be so quick to solve alltheir problems and trust that
clarity is kinder thanconfusion.
(33:14):
Stop oversharing, be specific,and start leading.
These are shifts that I amworking on currently inside of
me building the skill of being aprofessional speaker.
as my big presentation's comingup for ACA and Cal this month.
It is something that I'mcurrently working on right now,
and I wanted to share it withyou because good leaders, a
(33:37):
hundred percent leaders insideour communities use
communication as a way toleverage their leadership.
It's really important.
So not that you need to work onall five of these at one time.
Again, choose one'cause some ofthese you're probably really
good at.
So choose an area that you wantto enhance and maybe one that
(33:58):
you want to improve on.
Okay?
Use it intentionally wheneverit's in your, if it's in your
morning standup, or your nexttour, or a hard HR or coaching
moment.
Notice the changes when youspeak like the leader.
And notice the ways that peopleare responding to you
differently because it willchange.
(34:19):
And don't be discouraged if theseeds that you plant do not grow
in seconds.
Okay?
Seeds grow in seasons, and a lotof leaders get lost in
discouragement.
Don't get lost indiscouragement.
The goal is to experiment, togrow and to get better.
And over time you're gonna seeit.
And a lot of the times it's justhow you feel because how you
(34:40):
feel is important and how do youwanna feel?
Focus on that.
How do I wanna feel when I leadthis meeting?
How do I wanna feel whenever I'mhaving this hard coaching or HR
moment, right?
I want to, I'm gonna feel like aleader, so I'm gonna speak like
a leader and I don't want to letmy emotions hijack this message.
I wanna, I wanna own it withauthority.
I wanna be very clear.
(35:00):
I wanna ask questions to getbetter outcome.
That's the goal of a hundredpercent leader.
That's the goal of this episodefor you.
Your communication is important.
It is the anchor of yourleadership and the better you
communicate, the higher yourpotential will be and growing
(35:21):
your capacity and yourpotential.
It starts with awareness, and Ihope that's what this episode
was for you.
Thank you for listening today.
I'm glad that it was just me andyou, and if this episode
resonated with you or you feellike other people on your team
need to hear it, share it withthem.
That's what we want.
The goal of this episode is togrow leaders, every leader
(35:43):
inside of a community andoutside of a community,
together, we can provide a greatplace to live and work for
everyone inside of ourcommunity.
we're opening up the wait listfor the a hundred percent leader
that starts in January.
I'll be more than happy to haveyou aboard.
We are in the second, going onthe third week in our current
(36:04):
cohort, and we're having a greattime.
You are always invited.
Um, I offer one on one coachingand speaking opportunities at
conferences and in companies.
Thank you for your time today.
Again, leave a message.
Share this episode.
Rate it on whatever you'relistening to, Spotify or message
me, let me know.
(36:26):
Let me know how using thesetools helps inside of your
community.
As always, I appreciate you.
Thank you for giving me yourtime and attention today, and I
hope I'm adding value to you.
Always know that you are enoughwhen you are aspiring for more
for you.
Hi everyone.
It's Erin and it's me and you.
Today, we are going to betalking about how to speak like
a leader, because communicationreally isn't just how we talk,
it's how we lead.
It's how we build trust, and howwe shape the energy of every
(00:21):
single room that we walk into.
When we walk in.
We need to be present and theyneed to know.
That we are the tone setter,right?
Most leaders are speaking likemanagers, but leaders inside of
the community need to be able tospeak like visionaries.
You need to know what needs tohappen today to have one step
(00:43):
closer to your goal, whateverthat is for you.
Some leaders are oversharing,overexplaining, or reacting
emotionally, and then wonderingwhy no one's.
Following them or doing what weask them.
God knows.
That's so frustrating.
Your voice can either buildtrust or break momentum by the
(01:06):
words that we say, by the tonethat we set, by the energy that
we bring into a room.
And the difference isn't aboutsaying more, it's about saying
it better.
How can I get my point across ina better way?
It's not about more content,it's about less content in a
(01:26):
better way of being delivered.
So in this episode, I'm gonnatalk to you about how you can
shift from being heard to beingfollowed, right?
A leader has to have.
Followers, you have to have ateam willing to walk with you
where you lead them to go.
These five communicationstrategies completely changed
(01:48):
how I lead, how I talk, and Ibelieve they'll change how you
show up to.
I use these strategies even nowas I'm working on presentations,
workshops.
Um, the a hundred percentleader, the, the coaching that I
do, these are some shifts that Iam.
Currently working on and haveworked on and continually are
(02:10):
working on.
When a leader learns tocommunicate with clarity and
confidence and rooted inauthenticity and learning how to
connect, everything will change.
It becomes a lot easier, and westop blaming other people and we
start realizing just how muchinfluence I have over a
(02:31):
situation and that.
Is really where success startshappening.
That's when we start cookingwith the hot sauce folks.
So let's dive into it.
Why is communication or make orbreak skill inside our
community?
Well, if you listen to theepisode last week with Eva
Daniel, I'm going to remind youagain that communication is not
(02:52):
a soft skill.
They're called soft skillsbecause it's hard to, to measure
them, but they're not soft.
They're actually what you needin order to, to be successful,
especially in today's world.
But communication is theleadership skill.
If you wanna create impact, ifyou wanna have influence, if you
wanna stop controlling, if youwanna stop having to be involved
(03:14):
in everything, what is the oneskill that you need that's
communication.
How do I train them effectively?
How do I let them know whatneeds to be done?
How do I equip and empowerpeople in my team to solve
problems on their own, to makedecisions, to say the right
things to families?
That's all coming down to yourcommunication, your ability to
(03:36):
communicate.
Of the six key stakeholders thatwe answer to really is residents
families.
Our teams inside the community,the corporate home office, the
regulatory agencies, and I liketo throw in vendors how you're
gonna be successful in managingAll of that is going to be how
(03:56):
you communicate to them, withthem, for them, and sometimes in
spite of them, right?
If I'm talking to a vendor, Iwanna make sure they understand
what my expectations are, andI'm gonna be asking them
questions about what is.
Realistic in what can be done.
If I'm talking to a familymember, I'm gonna be making sure
that I know what theirexpectations are of me.
(04:19):
Same goes for residents as well.
So communication, every time Istepped into a new community,
which was always distressbecause that was my path, I knew
that building trust, connectingand communicating were the top
three skills that I needed tofocus on because.
The person before me didn't dothat, and that's why occupancy
(04:42):
was low.
Community was a hot mess, wasbecause people just said things
that weren't true that werenever gonna be followed up on,
that never were followed up on.
And expectations of familymembers were not met.
Communication can help you withthat 100% leaders.
Again, 100% is a mindset morethan it is a metric.
(05:04):
It is a goal.
It is a metric.
It's what we're measured by.
It's the, it's the, it's theSuper Bowl of senior living, and
I like to help leaders reach100%.
Okay?
I like to reach a hundredpercent.
It was always the goal of mine.
I wanted to be the best and Iwant you to be the best, and
that's why I make this podcast.
But a hundred percent leadersknow that communication is how
(05:27):
we build trust.
trust is how we grow influenceinside of our community.
You watch certain influencers onsocial media and they're
communicating with you.
They're communicating with you,with the music that they play.
They're communicating with you,with the dance moves that they
do.
They're communicating with youwhile they're putting on their
makeup, and they'recommunicating with you the
(05:47):
makeup that they wear, even ifthey're not talking about it.
There's so much you can learnfrom the people that you follow
on social media because it's allabout influence.
Nonverbal and verbalcommunication.
That's what social media is,right.
So let's get into these fiveshifts.
(06:08):
The shift number one is speak tolead.
Okay?
Do not apologize for theauthority that your title
brings, your title, whatever itis, inside the community or
regional director, or CEO orwhoever's listening to this.
You have a title and at somepoint, it brings a level of
authority.
(06:29):
Don't apologize for thatauthority.
Own that authority.
Like don't be authoritative, butunderstand that when you
downplay your message, peoplewill downplay your leadership.
So if I'm walking into standupor I'm walking to an all
associate meeting.
(06:50):
I am Aaron Thompson, theexecutive director.
The buck stops with me.
Everything stops with me.
I am the leader whether I feellike the leader that day or not.
I'm the leader.
I have got to speak like theexecutive director that I am.
I'm not going to downplay myselfin front of my team.
I am going to esteem myself.
(07:11):
And understand how important themessage is that I'm going to
deliver.
And in fact, it's really notabout you.
It's about your message.
And so if you understand that mymessage is more important than
the way that I feel, then I'mnot gonna downplay the message
because these people need tounderstand what I'm trying to
tell them.
(07:31):
And so that has to be packagedin a way where you are speaking
with authority.
You need to listen to what I saybecause it's important.
So the way that I say it, howfast, how slow I say it, how I'm
looking, people in the eyes, myenergy while I'm leading the
meeting.
All of that is speaking topeople.
I am going to speak like I amthe executive director of this
(07:54):
building and I am gonna teachyou how we're gonna grow to a
hundred percent today.
Your involvement in tours isvery important.
Let me tell you why, right?
Or.
Let's talk about how tocalibrate a thermometer to 32
degrees and not zero, becausethat, that's a message that's
important when you go intomeetings.
One of the best ways to be ableto speak with intention and
(08:15):
certainty and ownership ispreparation.
If you don't have confidencestepping into a presentation or
a all associate meeting, it'sbecause you didn't prepare.
Now, some of us can wing it.
Some of us who've been doingthis for a long enough time and
have taught the same trainings,maybe you can wing it, but
prepare, because preparationbrings confidence.
(08:36):
You can't go on a stage and notprepare and look good and get
the message out that you want.
Okay.
100%.
Leaders don't play small.
They speak with purpose.
Preparation will get you there.
Owning your authority will getyou there.
Understanding that the messageis more important than you, the
(09:00):
way that you feel that day.
And speaking with clarity.
There's a difference betweenspeaking in generalizations and
speaking with.
Specificity.
We'll get into that a little bitmore, but when you speak with
specifics, when you talk about,and you define your direction,
which is my D in the leadacronym, when you define your
(09:23):
direction and you let them knowwhat you want, what you want
them to get out of this meeting,and what your goal is, you're
owning your authority.
Owning your authority is notabout.
Being cocky or conceited orarrogant.
It's about being prepared andunderstanding the point of your
message and presenting it in anownership mentality.
(09:45):
I own this.
I'm gonna speak to you like aleader, not a manager.
Because leaders lead people in adirection that they want them to
go, and managers just keep thestatus quo.
New mindset, speak to lead.
Not to manage.
Own your message and discussyour expectations, because
(10:08):
expectations are an importantpart of leadership.
Do they know my, my expectationsare, do I know what their
expectations are?
Again, your team will mirror theenergy of your message, own it,
speak like the leader that theywant to follow.
So I want you to think about it.
(10:29):
Are you diluting your messagewhen you speak to people?
are you being sheepish?
Do you not have confident inyour tone, in your presence?
Do you allow other people'sopinions to lose your confidence
a bit That's diluting yourmessage.
So know what's important to you.
(10:49):
And anchor into it and speak itlike it's important.
'cause there's a lot of peoplein our communities that will try
to manipulate things that don'tneed to be manipulated.
Okay?
So write down one moment thisweek where you're gonna lead
with your full voice, knowingyour point that you want to make
and you're gonna own it.
cause that's important.
Own your message, do notdownplay it.
(11:11):
Shift number two, don't letemotions hijack the message.
I'm an emotionally and verypassionate person, okay?
I have let my emotions hijack amessage Many times in my life,
many, many, many times, I havelearned that my emotions are
just data points for me, right?
(11:32):
They're not necessarily thedirector that I have allowed
them to be.
Over time.
They should not be steering.
My direction, emotions areenergy bubbles and they rise up
and sometimes they'll go awayand as quick as 90 seconds.
To me, when you let emotionshijack the message, you are
(11:53):
reacting versus responding, orsomebody says something to you
and then all of a sudden yourwhole tone, authority,
ownership, and presence changes.
And you feel like you have nochoice but to react.
And when we react, it'sinstinctively, it's based on our
own trauma triggers.
It's based on our own past.
(12:15):
But when you respond, you takethe time and you think about it,
and you speak to lead, and youown the message to completely
different things, right?
Share your feelings, but leadwith intention.
Just because you said somethingto me doesn't mean that my
message is gonna be off.
It just means that I need totell you how I feel about it,
(12:37):
but I'm gonna lead with point.
I'm gonna speak like a leader.
I'm not going to let my emotionshijack me.
Okay?
Emotions are not the enemy.
Emotions can be leveraged foryou because who doesn't love a
good, passionate speech tellingyou that anything is possible or
a passionate speech saying howmuch you love what you do.
(12:59):
That's owning the moment, right?
But it's also being intentionalwith what you're trying to say.
I think it's important.
For you to really understand, toleverage your emotions and
leverage other people'semotions.
And by leveraging that, I meanuse it to the advantage of the
(13:20):
message that you wanna get outand to inspire people and
motivate people to work towardsthe goal that you both have set.
Emotions can be greatmotivators, but they also can
make a mess.
Of the momentum that you'vecreated.
So when I think about emotionshijacking your message, I am
(13:42):
really discussing the way thatwe place the meaning of
everything, and the meaning thatI placed on a lot of things in
my life were not true.
I made a lot of things personalthat were not personal because
everything was personal to me.
As a passionate person, I pouredeverything I had into everything
I do, and I still do.
(14:03):
But the difference is I don'tmake personal meanings that
affect me in a negative wayanymore.
Somebody doesn't like what Isay, it doesn't bother me.
If somebody chooses to saysomething negative about me, it
doesn't bother me because I knowwhat's true.
The meaning I place oneverything is more important
(14:23):
than what anybody says about me,because I no longer let my
emotions hijack my message.
Now, am I perfect at that?
No.
and I understand when I fall offthe wagon, my emotions are not
going to affect my messagebecause in the past.
It has affected it in a negativeway, so understand the tone of
(14:47):
your leadership is yoursignature.
When I speak to lead, I wannaown my message, and when I feel
the emotions creeping up, Iunderstand that I don't want my
emotions to hijack the message.
I need to do what I need to doto feel the feelings, and yet
stay intent with my message.
(15:08):
My emotions are not my enemy,but they should not be driving
the car in the direction that Iwant them to go.
Okay?
Because emotions come, andemotions go, but our message
should always stay the same.
We're gonna make a communitythat's a great place to live and
work.
And how we're gonna do that isthis.
(15:30):
Okay?
And when you can represent howto speak to lead and how to
lead.
A message without emotionsaffecting it.
You can gain followers, you'restaying on course, and those
people who try to manipulate orcontrol the situations by
throwing these emotionalgrenades at you, if you haven't
(15:51):
had that, congratulations.
Um, but I have, they don't haveany power because you are owning
your message and you're notletting the emotions hijack it.
Again, you're, you're owningyour authority.
Speak to lead.
Do not let your emotions hijackthe message and say less and
mean more of what you say.
(16:14):
This is the phase that I'mreally in right now is how do I
have shorter podcasts that havemore impact?
And it is being specific.
It's not saying as many words,it is being clear.
Right, using pause to get mypoint across rather than a bunch
(16:34):
of filler and fluff words.
when you pre-frame people tounderstand, for them to feel and
perceive things in a certainway, you're speaking with
weight.
When we say words like, I thinkthis is what's going to happen,
and I'm not sure, but I thinkthis is where it's gonna go.
(16:59):
You are automaticallypre-framing people to say that
she doesn't know what she'stalking about just by saying
those words.
But if you reframed it and you,this is what I know to be true
right now, someone's in thehospital and they're gonna go to
rehab and then they're gonnacome here.
Right, and then here's what'snext.
Here's what you can expect tocome next based on the work,
(17:23):
based on the six months thatI've worked in this community,
here's what I have seen, right?
These are authority statements.
Let people know the boundaries,and also that you are speaking
from your experience.
But when you were speaking up toa CEO or to a regional director
or to another layer in thecorporate office, or even in a
(17:45):
regulatory, person inside ofyour community during a survey,
well, I think this is whathappened.
What are they gonna say to you,do you think?
Or do you know?
And so a better phrase is,here's what I know to be true.
Here's what I believe happened,and if you're writing a
investigation, a, a sentence isit is reasonable to conclude,
(18:07):
right?
These are all pre-framing wordsthat help people build their
perception, I think builds aperception that you don't know.
But when you say, I know this tobe true, or I believe this is
what happened, you arepre-framing them to understand.
(18:27):
You're confident.
Two totally different things,and you're speaking to lead in
that moment.
The other thing is the pause.
The pause is very challengingwhen you're a speaker because
you get nervous with the pause.
But when you are a listener.
The pause is what grabs yourattention.
(18:48):
So I'm about to say something toyou and I'm gonna tell you, this
podcast is going to be great.
Let me tell you why, because I'mgonna teach you how to speak to
lead and not to let emotionshijack your, your message, and
to say less and mean more, Thatpause gets you curious.
(19:10):
That pause allows people toreflect in the moment about what
you just said, because when wegive people too much
information, they don't get onepoint out of it.
They're overwhelmed.
And that's the point that I'min.
I like to give peopleeverything, but when you give
people everything, they don'treally have anything because
(19:33):
everything is too much.
So what is the point?
The one sentence, the the onepoint I want them to get from
this one presentation and I needto let them know on the front
end, this is what success isgonna look like.
This is the main point I wantyou to make.
And then for us to be able to becomfortable in the silence.
(19:54):
Because as a speaker it isuncomfortable on stage with the
silence.
Is somebody gonna answer?
Is somebody not?
Are they thinking, what do Ineed to do?
I don't know what to do with myhands.
That's what it feels like upthere on the stage while you're
learning what it's like for thepause.
So in your next team meeting.
Choose one sentence thatcaptures the outcome that this
(20:17):
meeting is for your allassociate staff meeting.
what is the one point or the twopoints that you want the people
in the meeting to get and say itat the front end and say it at
the end, and try not to givethem too much information in
between and use pauses.
(20:37):
And the next point is questionsto help drive the point home.
Just like us as leaders, we needto pause more.
We need to reflect more.
We need to stop trying to bebusy all the time and use the
pauses in life and the rhythmsof the day to our advantage to
(20:57):
be comfortable in the pause.
It's very powerful.
There is power in the pause, andI'm learning this in real time,
so I'm learning this with you.
Some of y'all are probablyreally good at that, and I am
working on it getting betterevery day.
The shift number four is askingbetter questions.
(21:17):
This is the tool that I wish Iwould've really, really had an
understanding about when I wasin the community.
If communication is your numberone tool.
Understanding the power ofquestions is going to be what I
would say is one of the mostimportant parts of
communication.
Why?
Because when you ask peoplequestions, they own the answers,
(21:42):
they own the solutions, theycome up with the answers
themselves, and it shifts thepower in some very tense and
even non tense moments.
Questions.
The power of questions is yourbest friend as a leader, because
(22:02):
how many people, and I am one ofthem, will go to somebody and
say, Hey, how do I do this?
When they could go look at thebinder and find the answers,
they could ask chat, GPT.
They could do all kinds ofthings, but they come to you and
they take your time and they askyou a thousand questions in a
day.
So my response could be, well,how would you find that
(22:24):
information if I wasn't here?
What do you think is the answerto this question?
What have you done in the past,right?
And so now all of a suddenyou're putting the ownership
back on them because when youanswer the questions, you own
the solutions, and the goal isto equip and empower and build
(22:45):
confidence.
And your leaders because youwant more leaders, more problem
solvers in your community.
So leaders should not want tosolve every problem fast because
you want your team to be able tosolve their problems fast.
So uncover slowly.
(23:08):
Think of it like a knot and anecklace.
When you're really fast andyou're really anxious, can you
get that tough knot out?
Not without getting angry andfrustrated, but if you really
try, take a deep breath and, andtry to get that knot out of the
necklace in a very intentionalway, you can probably get it out
(23:28):
much quicker.
And the bigger picture here isat play when you start using
questions as a tool.
So think of it this way, if Ihave somebody who comes up to
me, I was just on a call with acoaching client and we were
talking about gossip.
Gossip is an energy in thecommunity.
It's almost like its own lifeforce.
(23:49):
And most people have a gossipproblem inside of a community.
I know I did and I had a goodcommunity, but Lord have mercy.
Those people like to talk andcreate chaos.
And I will tell you, they justwere comfortable in chaos no
matter what I did.
But you can control thenarrative.
And so if somebody were to bringme a piece of gossip that was
(24:10):
hurtful to me, like on apersonal level or that was
trying to come at me and bringme pain, I now know that I would
ask them, why do you feel like Ineed to know that?
Why do I need to know this?
That shifts the pain, can nolonger manipulate me with your
words.
I'm not gonna let my emotionshijack my meeting, my message,
(24:33):
and I'm also going to speak as aleader.
Why do I need to know thisinformation?
What value does this bring tome?
Right?
You have clearly set a boundarythere, and they own what they're
trying to do.
That is leadership gold rightthere.
The second point of questions ingossip would be when someone
(24:56):
thinks of you in a negative wayor actions in a negative way,
and it goes back to the, well,let me just rephrase it this
way.
Seth Godin has a quote in thebook, tribes, people don't
believe what you tell them.
They rarely believe what youshow them.
They often believe what theirfriends tell them, and they
always believe what they tellthemselves.
(25:20):
So what do leaders do?
They give people stories thatthey can tell themselves stories
about the future and aboutchange.
So that line that people willbelieve what other people tell
them is really important.
And so one of the ways that Itried to combat gossip in my
community was I was veryconsistent with the words that I
(25:40):
chose, with the actions that Idid.
Always trying to act consistentacross the board.
Everybody's family is important.
I never want you to miss a kid.
You know, event, give me enoughtime, I'm gonna make sure it
happens.
You know, those types of things.
And so when somebody would cometo me with this outlandish, idea
(26:01):
that they have of me or beingupset about something, you know,
you can ask them, and I did dothis inside of a community
because I would get frustrated,is what evidence what evidence
do you have for that to be true?
I'm not gonna defend myself toyou, right?
I'm not going to give that anyenergy.
(26:23):
We've got two buckets forgossip.
We have gasoline, which is gonnaadd fuel to the fire, or we have
water and we can distinguish it.
And I believe this question isimportant.
What evidence do you have forthat to be true?
Use that because.
They probably don't have any.
They just believed what somebodytold them rather than looking at
(26:46):
the body of evidence of the workthat I have done for this
community, right, that you havedone for this community.
choosing to value my energy andask the question of what
evidence they have to supportthis claim, this theory, this.
Moment that they have heard andbelieved is important.
(27:06):
Again, it's directing energy,it's speaking to lead.
It's not letting your emotionshijack your message, right?
And you're setting them up tolook at the evidence and
understand, oh, well maybe Idon't have any.
And as the leader, you'retelling them what to believe.
(27:26):
In a nonverbal way becauseyou're giving them the
opportunity to own their ownsolutions, to find their own
answers, right?
And in sales, we all know thatasking better questions is
important, and when you'remanaging vendors and family
members asking questions abouttheir expectations of what's
important to them, what doessuccess look like to you?
(27:46):
These are important questionsfor you to know how to meet
their needs to be successful forthem.
That.
Is the point of leadership,right?
Is understanding what success isand then just meeting that
expectation.
Easier said than done, but themore you communicate, the more
you know, the more you'reconsistent with it.
(28:08):
The more you equip and empowerpeople, the easier these
success, these wins.
Getting to a hundred percentwill be.
So if you remember one thingfrom this episode, remember
this, the leaders who ask thebest questions will unlock the
best outcomes.
(28:28):
Now, soon I'm gonna do a podcaston all the questions, on the
power of questions and how touse them.
I, I could probably have a monthof podcast episodes about that.
This tool is so important and Ibelieve it.
Um, so much so use the power ofquestions.
Alright, shift number five, stopoversharing and start leading.
(28:52):
Clarity builds trust andconfidence and oversharing
drains it.
I have learned that too muchoversharing is often insecurity
in disguise.
Or it is a tool of distractionfor somebody who wants you to
not focus on them and focus oneverybody else.
(29:16):
So as a leader, if I'm gonnaspeak to lead and own my
authority, this goes back to ifI share too much, I lose the
main point.
So I want to stop oversharing.
I don't wanna get very specific.
On the needs and the wants andthe points that I'm trying to
make while I'm talking to you.
(29:36):
So again, let's talk aboutcommunicating up to your home
office because it's important toknow how you communicate into
your community.
Your key directors or even yourfrontline teams are going to be
very different than how you'regoing to communicate up as a new
leader, as a leader who wastrying to prove her worth at
(29:56):
times too corporations and homeoffices, I did overshare.
I wanted them to know the storybefore the story to get to the
main story, to understand thepoint that I want wanted to
make.
The issue is people in the homeoffice are very, very busy, and
if you don't get to your pointin a very specific and quick
way, they're gonna tune you outand they're not going to listen
(30:19):
to you.
I mean, how many times do we dothat to people who overshare
with us?
This, I'm here to say that Ihave, so you can have a
framework.
You could say, okay, here's thesituation.
Here's the solution that I want.
Here's what I have done to fixthe situation, and here's how
we're going to move forward.
Here's where we are right now.
(30:40):
Here's what I'm doing about it.
Here's the solution that I want,and here's how I'll move forward
with that solution.
That is how you communicate up.
It's how you communicate tofamilies.
That's how you communicate tovendors.
they don't need to knoweverything.
They need to know what's mostimportant, and they need to know
(31:00):
what your expectations are, whatyou can and cannot do, what you
will and will not tolerate.
Right?
Here are my expectations.
When you overshare, you diluteyour message.
When your emotions hijack yourmessage, you dilute your
message.
When you downplay your role andthe importance of your message,
you dilute your message.
Think about when you're doing aninvestigation for an incident,
(31:24):
for an abuse allegation for yourfinancial review.
And, and you're asking peoplequestions and they're
oversharing with you.
What are they doing?
They're distracting you.
And if you start chasing downevery rabbit hole that they
want, you have no time.
You're not being productive,you're not moving forward,
you're staying stuck.
You can't get done with theproject that you need to get
done.
(31:44):
Oversharing is a distractionmechanism.
People will tune you out.
And that's not what you want.
So when you speak, speak withgrace, speak with confidence,
speak with firmness, and be veryclear on the direction that you
want to go.
I, so as we wrap up thisepisode, let's run it back one
(32:08):
more time before we close.
You wanna speak to lead?
You wanna speak with authority.
You don't want your emotions tohijack your message.
You want to lead your emotions,be aware of them, and don't let
them be your enemy.
Use them for leverage.
(32:28):
Don't let them drive the car,okay?
They're not the ones that'sleading the charge.
Here you are.
Do not react.
You want to respondintentionally.
Use fewer words that carry moreweight.
Don't use phrases like, I thinkyou want to use phrases like,
this is what I know to be truebased on my experience, right?
(32:52):
You're pre-framing people how tothink about something, how to
think about you and yourleadership.
Ask questions that unlock growthBetter questions lead to better
outcomes.
Let people own their ownsolutions.
Don't be so quick to solve alltheir problems and trust that
clarity is kinder thanconfusion.
(33:14):
Stop oversharing, be specific,and start leading.
These are shifts that I amworking on currently inside of
me building the skill of being aprofessional speaker.
as my big presentation's comingup for ACA and Cal this month.
It is something that I'mcurrently working on right now,
and I wanted to share it withyou because good leaders, a
(33:37):
hundred percent leaders insideour communities use
communication as a way toleverage their leadership.
It's really important.
So not that you need to work onall five of these at one time.
Again, choose one'cause some ofthese you're probably really
good at.
So choose an area that you wantto enhance and maybe one that
(33:58):
you want to improve on.
Okay?
Use it intentionally wheneverit's in your, if it's in your
morning standup, or your nexttour, or a hard HR or coaching
moment.
Notice the changes when youspeak like the leader.
And notice the ways that peopleare responding to you
differently because it willchange.
(34:19):
And don't be discouraged if theseeds that you plant do not grow
in seconds.
Okay?
Seeds grow in seasons, and a lotof leaders get lost in
discouragement.
Don't get lost indiscouragement.
The goal is to experiment, togrow and to get better.
And over time you're gonna seeit.
And a lot of the times it's justhow you feel because how you
(34:40):
feel is important and how do youwanna feel?
Focus on that.
How do I wanna feel when I leadthis meeting?
How do I wanna feel whenever I'mhaving this hard coaching or HR
moment, right?
I want to, I'm gonna feel like aleader, so I'm gonna speak like
a leader and I don't want to letmy emotions hijack this message.
I wanna, I wanna own it withauthority.
I wanna be very clear.
(35:00):
I wanna ask questions to getbetter outcome.
That's the goal of a hundredpercent leader.
That's the goal of this episodefor you.
Your communication is important.
It is the anchor of yourleadership and the better you
communicate, the higher yourpotential will be and growing
(35:21):
your capacity and yourpotential.
It starts with awareness, and Ihope that's what this episode
was for you.
Thank you for listening today.
I'm glad that it was just me andyou, and if this episode
resonated with you or you feellike other people on your team
need to hear it, share it withthem.
That's what we want.
The goal of this episode is togrow leaders, every leader
(35:43):
inside of a community andoutside of a community,
together, we can provide a greatplace to live and work for
everyone inside of ourcommunity.
we're opening up the wait listfor the a hundred percent leader
that starts in January.
I'll be more than happy to haveyou aboard.
We are in the second, going onthe third week in our current
(36:04):
cohort, and we're having a greattime.
You are always invited.
Um, I offer one on one coachingand speaking opportunities at
conferences and in companies.
Thank you for your time today.
Again, leave a message.
Share this episode.
Rate it on whatever you'relistening to, Spotify or message
me, let me know.
(36:26):
Let me know how using thesetools helps inside of your
community.
As always, I appreciate you.
Thank you for giving me yourtime and attention today, and I
hope I'm adding value to you.
Always know that you are enoughwhen you are aspiring for more
for you.
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