Ass Backwards
What mysteries are revealed when you live Ass Backwards? Each season, Mike and Brad work their way backwards through a major film franchise: Brad watches the movies in reverse order; Mike doesn't watch them at all. Starting where they finish, predicting what has already happened, saving the exposition for the end -- this is Ass Backwards.
Episodes
F9! Mike & Brad begin their journey at the moment the Fast & the Furious series becomes self-aware. Come for the sexual chemistry between Helen Mirren & Vin Diesel, stay for the majesty of Project Rocket Car. John Cena is a blood relative of Vin Diesel? Tyrese is Black Space Frazier! Afrofuturism collides with Grotesque Stereotypes! This episode's lesson: "Saying it Out Loud Doesn't Help."
The F8 of the Furious! Dom Goes ROGUE! A lifelong criminal REALLY starts breaking the law! A baby gets weaned on / rescued from an AWACS plane. Attack of the Zombie Cars. Sub vs. Sports Cars! Lamborghini v. Tundra! The Two Kinds of Fast & Furious Women. This episode's lesson: "If you want a man to save your child, first you have to shoot him."
Furious 7. WRENCH FIGHT!!! The series turns soap opera with amnesia and a secret marriage! Jason Statham killed Han, so he must be family. In this universe, God (might be) a woman's butt, a billionaire can afford an Abu Dhabi skyscraper but not a hard drive, and we see nonviolent conflict resolution through head-on collisions! This episode's lesson: "Mike, I'm gonna say the words, and you're gonna shut up!&...
Furious 6. Furiouser and furiouser.
CHEKHOV's GRAPPLING GUN! A Runway longer than a Russian novel! The Family fights a Doppelganger crew. We meet Betty, aka Evil Soap Opera Letty. Mike & Brad debate the Talmudic question, "Is there a non-sexual way to bite a butt?" The crew takes extended detours to a pawn shop and prison to learn what they already know. Brad keeps lying, Mike loses track of the podcast...
Fast Five. TRAIN ROBBERY!
The Fast & the Fugitive! Family on the Run, and the only thing that would make it better is Tommy Lee Jones. This week In fast physics, mass is determined by the density of the cool. Elena & Dom don't have sex onscreen, implying that their child is the product of Immaculate Domception.
This episode's lesson: "The worse the Father, the greater his right to name hi...
Fast & Furious. The movie too furious for definite articles!
This film shifted a sputtering series of gearhead movies onto the path to becoming a global phenomenon. The key? Screenplays written by three 14 year old boys in a Minority-Report-style vat of goo. Dom demonstrates Family by treating Letty like a one night stand! A Russian Nesting Funeral! Dom Toretto: Asphalt Psychic! Is the series Butt Infested or Butt inf...
TOKYO DRIFT! JAPAN BEFORE JUVY!
The movie that should have killed the franchise. The Minority-Report -Goo Screenwriters gave themselves a fascinating challenge: Can we make a movie with equally grotesque racial & sexual stereotypes? Spoiler Alert: Racism wins. Is Kid Rock's biggest hit just Doo Wop with Angry Drums & a Meth problem? Sean, our low rent Brian joins the Yakuza before he gets over jet lag. Mike &...
2 Fast 2 Furious but no 2 Live Crew?
A Franchise writ in Etch a Sketch. As we near the end/beginning of this series, we are backing into simpler stories, lower stakes & Old School Hollywood racism. This movie is what happens when Miami Vice & Dukes of Hazzard have a sloppy, racially-charged one night stand. Van Morrison & Umberto Eco swing by the podcast.
This episode's lesson: "Why Jump th...
The Fast and the Furious. Our epic journey finally reaches its beginning.
RACE WARS! We end with the beginning. Somehow a franchise becomes celebrated for its multiculturalism while beginning with... a RACE WAR. Perhaps the most philosophically dense of the movies featuring meditations on the Duality of Ludacris, the Ur-Street Race, the three stages of a homophobic insult, and Letty's outfit providing the evolutionary...
Emergency Episode! As the relentless onslaught of Fast & Furious movies continues, we bring in special guest Jesse Walker of Reason Magazine to tell us what the heck happened in Fast X. Spoiler alert: It's the end of the world as we know it.
SPECIAL MINI SEASON!
In Season 2, we'll be discussing the Piranha film franchise, a bizarre ripoff of Jaws. But Brad is the only person who grew up in the 80s but never saw ANY of the Jaws movies. So we decided to do this special Mini Season 1.5: Mike describes the films for Brad to understand.
If this isn't your thing, no sweat. Just go straight to Season 2.
MINI SEASON!
We continue our deep dive (get it?) into the Jaws franchise so that Brad is not an ignorant buffoon for Season 2. Mike calmly explains the calamity that is Jaws 3 while Brad struggles to hold everything together.
COMING SOON: SEASON 2
MINI SEASON!
Brad continues his graduate education on the Jaws series, as Mike patiently explains to him the plot of these movies (hint: there's a shark).
SEASON 2, WITH NORMAL FORMAT, COMING SOON!
THE END OF THE MINI SEASON!
Mike hops out of the Captain's Chair of the S.S. Benjamin Button, and gives Brad the chance to experience a rare event: a good movie. Actual discussion ensues.
That's it, enough with the crazy experiments. Next week, we're back to our normal format, as SEASON 2 BEGINS!
SEASON 2 BEGINS! Returning to our normal format, we boldly explore the Piranha franchise, which spans a shocking 35 years of film history.
What happens when you let exotic dancers run a water park? What did Todd Packer do after he left Dunder Mifflin? What single line of dialogue have you never heard in a movie before? We answer all these pressing questions, and more!
Are the fish the least objectionable predators in this movie?
Who among us will fall prey to the Busey cycle?
And how much Ving is enough ving?
Tune in this week to find out!
This week we travel through the veil of Scream to 1995, where the piranha wear plaid and the real heroes recycle!
While America is busy spending its peace dividend, trouble lurks in the ocean. Well, actually a lake. No, sorry, but there's definitely weird about that above-ground pool.
Click here for the Killer Mutant Piranhas song by Uncle Dog Food!
Brad and Mike stumble upon the lost origins of cinematic history!
Can an entire career be summarized in one movie? Yes. Yes it can. Everything links back to Piranha II: The Spawning.
SEASON FINALE!
In this Very Special Episode, Brad and Mike shatter the space-time continuum.
Everything is familiar, but nothing is as it seems. What starts as a dumb horror movie from the past becomes a glimpse into our own lives.
We live. We grow. The dog dies.
It's the beginning of an era.
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