June 28, 2022 • 25 mins
Could the secret to unparalleled team performance lie in the heart, not just the mind? Join us as we, Wayne and Dalin Aston, tackle a leadership approach that’s as unconventional as it is powerful - leading with love. Our journey through the worlds of military precision, athletic triumph, and entrepreneurial spirit reveals how a pinch of compassion can yield a heap of loyalty. We aren't shy about sharing stories from my time as a Marine Corps machine gunner, state championship football player, and now a devoted resort developer. Discover how simple acts of empathy and genuine concern for those around us can revolutionize the culture of traditionally stoic sectors.
Don't let the word 'love' in leadership catch you off-guard; we're here to show you how it's done. Reflect with us on the profound impact of giving generously, irrespective of your financial standing, and why rolling up your sleeves alongside your team can cement a culture of mutual respect and dedication. Above all, we debunk the myth that success requires sacrifice of family time or personal well-being. Explore with us and our guest how an abundant mindset can enrich not just your business, but every aspect of your life. So, if you're ready to reshape your understanding of leadership and success, this conversation is an essential listen.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Welcome back to the show guys.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Aston Incorporated.
I'm Wayne Aston, your host.
Here's my co-host, dalin Aston.
Appreciate him joining me.
As always ready to get some.
We've got a good episode foryou guys today.
Last last episode, weintroduced our Universal
principal series.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed that.
(00:23):
We've got another one of thosefor you today.
We're excited to get into.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So this is, this is gonna be heavily.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
This is an extension of experience, economy.
This is an extension of justthe way that we think and
Philosophy, and so I want tokick this one off with this.
This next universal principle,which is lead with love.
Okay, speaking as the MarineCorps machine gunner for a
(00:56):
minute and coming from you know,playing on a state championship
football team and doing somehard things right, working in
the construction industry for adecade, even even you know my,
my, my current passion andvocational expertise as a resort
developer, you know, typicallyspeaking, love is not part of
(01:22):
the conversation.
Love is just not part of theconversation.
We're, you know, we're really.
We're really focused on results.
We're really focused on gettingthe job done, the mission right
.
All of these and then those areimportant things.
Those are important things.
What I, what I'd like to havethe listeners consider with this
(01:42):
universal principle, is how cansomething like love,
specifically leading with love,or leading by an example With
love, how can that, how can thatapply to some of these spaces
like the construction industry,the military, the factory, you
(02:05):
know, airbnb, business, like allof that, and I believe there's
an application for all of it.
I'd love to grab your take onthat as we kick this episode off
.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, well, my first thought is it's a little Kind of
like you said, it's a littleunorthodox.
I feel like to be talking aboutthis In this kind of a show,
right, it's like, well, we'retalking about building a
business, why are we talkingabout love?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, not church.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We're not church, right.
But I would go as far as achallenge why would we talk
about building business if we'renot gonna talk about love?
And this is, this isinteresting because when you
Talk about providing value forpeople, you talk about providing
value for employees and youknow Guests and all the above,
(02:55):
all the above, investors,everyone.
When, when someone can tellthat you genuinely care, they're
so much more inclined to ifit's a customer standpoint.
Not only buy it from you, butreturn and support the brand if
they're in point to performbetter, if they're a partner to
Contribute more, they're aninvestor to grow, to give you
(03:19):
more.
I mean, there's so manyapplications here, but it all
stems from and I think no onewill say it, but it's clear in
every scenario where thesethings are evident, there's love
.
I Someone can feel, oh man,yeah, this person actually cares
.
That's really what it means.
This person actually cares.
And I feel like the amount oftimes I have, you know, bought
(03:40):
something from a company andfelt like they actually care
about me and I actually wentback and bought more.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's I do it a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But if I feel like a company doesn't care or that
they Neglect me and this is froma customer standpoint and also
an employee standpoint I amsuper inclined to just either
not contribute and this iscompletely vulnerable for me
Like if I am.
If I have a job and myemployers treat me like I am
Just another number, howmotivated am I to to perform at
(04:12):
the best on ability?
Your own personal man, I'mgonna dominate whatever I do, is
the only thing.
But that gets hard.
When people don't care aboutyou, when you're an employee
right, you're working as hard asyou can be possible and there's
just no, I mean you're notgetting anything it gets easy to
start resenting, it's easy toput in very little work.
(04:34):
So I think it's just a matterof man.
It inspires Performance andgoodness and results all around
love does that so?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
let's drop a couple examples here, interesting one
that kind of is still on my mind, fresh on my mind, from maybe
five or six episodes ago.
You're talking to a buddy,you're telling about buying
these properties in my mom.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
He's like oh, why would you do?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
that man.
I mean why don't you just leasethem, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In regard to the nightly rental model yeah, yeah
he was.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
He was questioning your nightly rental model.
So right, so Give the responselike what's the appropriate
response to that, because I knowthe knee jerk like the ego mind
wants to say Go shove that youknow where.
Hey shut the hell up, shut up,what do?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
you know, yeah, I mean, there's a hundred you
don't know anything, you know,what?
Do you?
Have you ever done this?
Don't think so.
Walk away.
You know, see, but those arethe natural man.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
That's the ego driven response.
I'm getting to the core ofright.
Why lead with love is critical,yeah, for true and and lasting
success.
So so if you risk, you takethat naysayer.
He's just With no perspective,totally ignorant.
He's just sitting there, yeahyou know, poop wing on your
(05:51):
parade.
How do you respond to that?
What's the appropriate lead?
With love, you know.
Response.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, you know, thinking back, I believe my
response was well, you know,from my own careful research and
everything, I've just decided,this is the best course because
it allows me to get, you know,more revenues.
I mean it, it's literally amatter of you know, what are you
trying to accomplish right?
And, looking back, I canexplain this my best ability.
You know, I didn't get intoweeds because he wasn't asking.
(06:20):
I just said well, it's just, youknow from my research, I
thought it was the best right.
And you know he looked at me.
He's like, okay, well, you know, and if I were to elongate on
that conversation, how that went, you know it turned into him
later, at a different time,asking me Okay, so you know, how
did you do that?
You know, so it becomes,instead of me just shutting him
(06:43):
down saying you're an idiot,yeah, it was me saying, well,
you know, this is I did itbecause I thought it was the
best course of action because ofthis, this and this, yeah,
because of this research,because of this, whoa right.
Instead of pointing out that hewas wrong and I think that
opened his mind to oh, maybethere are other ways to do this.
Yeah, you know, and I thinkthere are countless ways to go
(07:06):
about the scenario.
Looking back, I probably couldhave said well, you know, why do
you think it's?
You know, I could have turnedon him and said, well, why do
you think it's wrong?
Yeah, you know, and I pickedthis way a little bit, but I
think, at the end of the day,the the worst thing you could do
is use the ego like that's theopposite of what we're talking
about here.
Yeah, the ego telling you ohman, this guy's a stupid Idiot
(07:29):
who doesn't know what he'stalking about.
Yeah, that is the wrongapproach.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I mean, that's probably the more common
approach you know you getoffended your ego gets offended.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Well, I remember I was ideas getting offended and
I'll be honest questioning your,your intelligence.
I was bothered questioning yourwrist like oh your reckless,
well, and I was like, who isthis guy to be telling me, have
you ever?
Has he ever done this before?
No, yeah, I'm sitting here forhaving these thoughts, right,
yeah, and it could have beeneasy for me to just destroy.
(08:02):
Destroy, that is way ofthinking, right, but in but
that's not.
And me even saying that isprobably ignorant and priceless.
You know, so I guess what I'mtrying to say is, instead of
just saying you know, I'm rightand you're wrong, maybe there
was an opportunity to say, heywell, why do you think that?
And then open the conversation.
(08:23):
Maybe there is an opportunity,if he really didn't know what
he's talking about, to helpprovide some impact and some
insight so that he couldunderstand, you know, and not to
say that I have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Well that right.
There is where I'm trying tokind of guide this, which is,
the more successful you get, theharder it is to be humble, the
harder it is to stay humble, andit's been my experience that
when I've not been humble andI've let arrogance and ego
dictate, it obviously isdamaging to the relationships
(09:01):
that I care about, but at theend of the day it's the most
damaging to myself, right?
And so you know this is aself-love conversation too, if I
respond to your buddy and I say, man, I really appreciate you
caring about me so much that youwould share all this concern,
(09:21):
man.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I mean this is legit Like thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
What do you think he would have done?
Like it doesn't even matterwhat he might do, I guarantee it
would be a positive response.
It'd be like wow that'sinteresting, but for yourself,
like you'd walk away from thatconversation feeling elevated,
like knowing that you increaselove to someone attacking you
(09:48):
and that's pretty satisfying.
One way or another, whetheranything long-term comes up or
not, you know, it's just so.
There's a lot of focus.
Guys, I just have you allconsider that self-love is a
really critical piece of beingan entrepreneur.
Okay, you must have confidence,but it's really helpful to
(10:15):
always maintain this idea thatI'm not the smartest guy in the
room.
I have some great ideas, butI'm open to feedback.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I just want to surround myself with people who
know more than me and I welcomeit.
If you want to punch holes inhappiness like I'm selling you
the idea, I'm telling you whythis is a great idea.
But I value your criticalthinking so much because it says
that you care about my success.
Potentially, some people arenot.
(10:44):
You know they're not intendingthat when they just want to be
an A-sayer and they just want tobe negative and toxic.
But I think there are a numberof people that'll share these
concerns out of genuine,authentic concern for you or for
me.
You know speaking for myself.
And so, guys, as you expandyour businesses, be humble and
(11:06):
maintain this attitude.
This is a transition into aconversation of the power of
contrast in scarcity andabundance, the mentality of
scarcity versus abundance, andthis is also a really, really
big thing in my life.
You know, I've come tounderstand that being in a
(11:31):
scarcity mentality means thatI'm driven by fear and anxiety
and a negative energy.
If I'm programming myself to beand operate from an abundant
mentality, then it's operatingout of a space of love,
compassion, faith and hope.
(11:53):
And hope.
Right, hope isn't a strategy,but you know, I mean, a farmer
plants a seed with faith andhope that it will rain and then
the crop will grow right.
Once the crop starts to grow,you know the crop's gonna grow.
So there's ways, there'spractical application for all of
(12:15):
this right, and you guys willall go to lunches, okay, and I
try to avoid lunches at allcosts these days.
I used to go to so many lunchesIn the early days.
Everyone wanted to go to lunchand I couldn't stand whenever
I'd be the one footing the wholebill.
Everyone would invite me tolunch, but then I would pay.
(12:36):
I just kind of feel like Iwanna be the you know, the
abundant guy, so I'm gonna justpay for the whole lunch.
You know tipping tipping is aninteresting one.
You know my brother's a serverand you know I know many people
who work in the restaurantindustry and what an
underappreciated field to be in.
(12:58):
You know not experiencing a lotof love.
And it comes down to the.
You know who's a good tipperbecause they're an abundant mind
and who's that cheeks gate whowon't tip five bucks, right.
And guys, I'd have you thinkseriously on this that, as
(13:19):
you're starting a business,there's no better time to
cultivate an abundant mindsetwhen you have nothing.
Yeah, okay, you think it'seasier when you have millions of
dollars in the bank to beabundant.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh, when I have millions of dollars in the bank,
I'm gonna be abundant.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm gonna donate to charity, no it doesn't work that
way.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
If you're not doing it now, you're not gonna do it
then that's right.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You must condition your mind and your heart today
with nothing.
And so, okay, you don't havemoney to give away.
You can tip five bucks.
You can tip 20 bucks.
You can tip the gal atStarbucks, you can.
I don't even think it has to beany tips.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be money, it's not even the
tip thing, it's just you knowwhat do you have that you can do
?
It's not this thing.
Oh, I would if I could.
Yeah, See, that is the recipefor never doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I would, if I could so time.
So to give time, I would sayeveryone has time.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And there's something to do with effort.
You know what can you do, and Ithink it's a matter of
transitioning your thought fromoh, I can't do that now to well,
how can I do that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
now, Dude, it's so tempting guys and I'll be a
little vulnerable.
I'll admit that yesterday wasFather's Day and my most valued
thing is to have time with mykids, to have my kids come over
and visit.
But there's a nagging in theback of my head like I've got
(14:46):
all this work I gotta do.
It's not like I gotta do it, Iwanna do it.
I have a lot of work it's piledup.
I really wanna get to it.
And so, consciously and beingaware and not giving into that
temptation of putting work as apriority over family time, that
(15:08):
equates to the effort you'retalking about.
Yeah, you know, I mean we hadan awesome weekend.
We had Devon over, had Sierraover, I mean it was really.
We really packed a lot into theweekend and it was so
satisfying for me to just likeresist the temptation.
And then I ended up workingreally late last night, you know
(15:29):
, After everybody had left.
I got in.
I got some work time on aSunday night, yeah, but you
could say, oh, I'll have timewhen I'm successful.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What does that even mean?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That happens all the time, that is dangerous and that
was me man, when I told youabout the days you know building
a tile business, I wouldrationalize that I'd be like,
well, I've just got to grindright now.
I've got to kind of sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm gonna grind right now and I gotta get it done so
that someday Well, and you knowwhat's interesting, we're gonna
talk about this, I think, in alater episode, but a lot of
gurus and a lot of people willtell you yeah, you know, wake up
at 4 am and just eliminate alldistractions, like just work
really, really, really hard fora while and then later it'll all
(16:14):
be good, and I believe thatthat's true, okay, but I do not
believe that you put on givingand put off.
You know family andrelationships.
With that intent, oh man, Ijust have to hustle and just
forget everyone for the nextcouple of years, in a couple of
years, when you've made it andyou have no family, no friends,
(16:34):
can you push them all away?
What's it?
Are you really successful?
That's the question I would ask.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So I think that's a key, so that kind of flies in
the face of some of our you knowour favorite podcasters and you
know characters out therebecause you know everyone's got
strong opinions about themorning routine or about the
sacrifice for the next two yearsand all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Well, I agree with it , I agree with the morning
routine, I agree with thesethings, and if you're gonna wake
up at 4 am, then just make sureyou're getting good sleep.
Maybe, you're gonna sacrificeyour social life at night, but
going to bed at midnight andthen waking up at 4 am, that's
not sustainable.
You're gonna burn yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That's a self love equation, so it was back to that
, yeah if you're gonna wake upbefore, great like that.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I love waking up early, I'm a morning person.
Yeah, I'll wake up early, yeah,but but it you know, if you
start getting four hours ofsleep at night and then you're
when you hit 3 pm and you'reabout to die because you're so
tired, I feel like, anyway,we're getting off it off the
back here.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
But you see what I'm trying to say.
Yep, yep, you know I go back toan experience just last summer
and Talking about back to leadwith love and had a very, very
interesting few opportunities.
You know we were building upthe, the housekeeping and
staging staff at sage Creek andyou know we brought on one of
(17:56):
our favorite characters, youknow Dan, he's our, he's our
property management, ouroperations manager, guy down
there, 38 years, you know, inthe military and just he is as
good as they get, as loyal, ascommitted a guy as you could
find.
And One of one of the ways thatI think we bonded so well was
(18:20):
because there were multipletimes that summer where we
encountered More cleans requiredthan we had housekeepers,
mm-hmm, and I would just jump inand go start cleaning units,
cleaning the toilets, cleaningthe showers, kitchen, knocking
units out right beside them andthey saw that and they commented
(18:44):
on that many times like man, Ijust can't even believe.
Like you were, like you bustedthrough those and I was like,
well, yeah, I mean it's, it isthe priority.
I'm not above the work, right?
I'm not above.
I'm not gonna ever ask you todo something I won't do.
That's important personally.
Yeah, that comes from theMarine Corps.
You know, I think I learnedthat first in the Marine Corps.
(19:05):
You know, always, always bewilling to do and be out in the
front, lead from the front, leadwith love, by being the person
willing to do anything, willingto do more than than anyone.
You're asking to do something.
Yeah so that was a powerful wayof Application value to have my
(19:30):
workforce like see that I'm notjust a talking shirt, I actually
roll my damn sleeves up and goto work.
Cleaning toilets.
Doesn't scare me, and I jokeabout that in board meetings.
You know, hey, what do you do?
Well, you know, I mean, I'm adeveloper and I clean toilets
quite a bit.
Yeah, it's funny, right, butit's true, it's true, and and
(19:50):
that's just to say thatnothing's beneath me.
So I think, as a business ownerwho's willing, who's willing to
do whatever it takes, there'snot a task in the whole stack of
tasks that's beneath me.
So I can't go hire someone tocome do this thing that I don't
want to do.
So there's a piece of, there'sa piece of philosophy for
(20:12):
everyone.
Think, you know, thinking aboutstarting business.
As long as you're willing to doevery function of the business
and Learn it inside and out andbe proficient with it.
Where you know whether you haveopportunity to do that, like
cleaning units, that that's agreat you know example Then do
it.
You know, be right out there,be willing to do some hard work,
(20:32):
abundance versus scarcity.
Where's another area in yourlife where you've you've
experienced family or friends,and how this scarcity mentality
has showed up, negativelyimpacting Some situations.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
There are tons of examples.
You know it's hard to mirrordown.
I mean I've I've had friendswho you know that are just super
, super concerned with everydime and every penny.
And you know and I'm not sayingbeing frugal is bad, I'm frugal
(21:12):
is actually very, veryimportant.
I believe that you know youwant to respect money and money
will respect you kind of type ofthing.
But but man there is a thingthat it just baffles my mind,
you know when, when you know atipping thing is an easy example
, but I think it can be extendedto a lot of different avenues.
(21:33):
And you think about my instantRight thought is Tony Robbins
money master the game.
It that book, if you haven'tread it, is super, super good.
That really paints the pictureof what we're talking about here
.
You, you hear money master thegame and my first thought of
what that book was gonna be outabout was very different than
(21:53):
what it actually was about.
Right, you read that and andthe the real focus of that book
was, you know how can you give?
And I think that's the biggestdistinction here in between a
scarce Mindset and an abundantmindset is the focus and the
necessity to save versus.
(22:16):
Oh, I believe that in giving Iwill also receive.
And you know I could givespecific examples, but I don't
know if that's super necessaryin the sense that, hey look,
just everyone has their ownexamples of this experience, in
this in your life, where you seethe difference, the stark
contrast of someone who is sofocused on saving that they
(22:40):
completely miss the point.
Oh man, I need to save, I needto prepare, I need to, but all
this stuff and they're soconcerned about every single
penny that, over however manyyears, they save up 30 grand and
they're like, okay, you know,but then you have another side
of it where if your focus is onproviding value, on giving, then
(23:01):
you're making so much more.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean, and I gotta know about the money, so an
interesting takeaway from thatis give without an expectation,
yeah, yeah, so you have to trainyourself to do that.
Yeah, if you're giving justwith this expectation of the
strings attached, you're gonnaget something from it.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
That's a hard life.
My counteract, you might bedisappointed often.
Yeah, yeah, You're gonna goabout, ooh yeah that's dangerous
.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, I just have you consider that if you're able to
program your mind and yourheart to be able to give without
expectation, that's really morefor you, right, when I give I
feel really good, yeah, and Irecognize that it makes me feel
good Like in my soul.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I feel good when I give, so yeah Well and Tony
Robbins talks about that in mynext game how you just set aside
some cash to do that and you'llstart to see or time, or time.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Time, man.
If I get out to do an interviewhere or help with this sales
call there, I'm like absolutely.
How are you doing 30 minutes?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
sure, how can I help?
Yeah, what are you able to give?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yeah, it's a cool feeling.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Awesome guys.
Well, we don't need tobeleaguers the matter here.
We've covered the thirduniversal principle in our
universal principle series.
Hope you guys got some valueout of it.
Love doing the show.
We hope you guys are enjoyingit.
We hope you'll tune into thenext episode and then for now
we're out.
Welcome back to the show guys.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Aston Incorporated.
I'm Wayne Aston, your host.
Here's my co-host, dalin Aston.
Appreciate him joining me.
As always ready to get some.
We've got a good episode foryou guys today.
Last last episode, weintroduced our Universal
principal series.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed that.
(00:23):
We've got another one of thosefor you today.
We're excited to get into.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So this is, this is gonna be heavily.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
This is an extension of experience, economy.
This is an extension of justthe way that we think and
Philosophy, and so I want tokick this one off with this.
This next universal principle,which is lead with love.
Okay, speaking as the MarineCorps machine gunner for a
(00:56):
minute and coming from you know,playing on a state championship
football team and doing somehard things right, working in
the construction industry for adecade, even even you know my,
my, my current passion andvocational expertise as a resort
developer, you know, typicallyspeaking, love is not part of
(01:22):
the conversation.
Love is just not part of theconversation.
We're, you know, we're really.
We're really focused on results.
We're really focused on gettingthe job done, the mission right
.
All of these and then those areimportant things.
Those are important things.
What I, what I'd like to havethe listeners consider with this
(01:42):
universal principle, is how cansomething like love,
specifically leading with love,or leading by an example With
love, how can that, how can thatapply to some of these spaces
like the construction industry,the military, the factory, you
(02:05):
know, airbnb, business, like allof that, and I believe there's
an application for all of it.
I'd love to grab your take onthat as we kick this episode off
.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, well, my first thought is it's a little Kind of
like you said, it's a littleunorthodox.
I feel like to be talking aboutthis In this kind of a show,
right, it's like, well, we'retalking about building a
business, why are we talkingabout love?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, not church.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We're not church, right.
But I would go as far as achallenge why would we talk
about building business if we'renot gonna talk about love?
And this is, this isinteresting because when you
Talk about providing value forpeople, you talk about providing
value for employees and youknow Guests and all the above,
(02:55):
all the above, investors,everyone.
When, when someone can tellthat you genuinely care, they're
so much more inclined to ifit's a customer standpoint.
Not only buy it from you, butreturn and support the brand if
they're in point to performbetter, if they're a partner to
Contribute more, they're aninvestor to grow, to give you
(03:19):
more.
I mean, there's so manyapplications here, but it all
stems from and I think no onewill say it, but it's clear in
every scenario where thesethings are evident, there's love
.
I Someone can feel, oh man,yeah, this person actually cares
.
That's really what it means.
This person actually cares.
And I feel like the amount oftimes I have, you know, bought
(03:40):
something from a company andfelt like they actually care
about me and I actually wentback and bought more.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's I do it a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But if I feel like a company doesn't care or that
they Neglect me and this is froma customer standpoint and also
an employee standpoint I amsuper inclined to just either
not contribute and this iscompletely vulnerable for me
Like if I am.
If I have a job and myemployers treat me like I am
Just another number, howmotivated am I to to perform at
(04:12):
the best on ability?
Your own personal man, I'mgonna dominate whatever I do, is
the only thing.
But that gets hard.
When people don't care aboutyou, when you're an employee
right, you're working as hard asyou can be possible and there's
just no, I mean you're notgetting anything it gets easy to
start resenting, it's easy toput in very little work.
(04:34):
So I think it's just a matterof man.
It inspires Performance andgoodness and results all around
love does that so?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
let's drop a couple examples here, interesting one
that kind of is still on my mind, fresh on my mind, from maybe
five or six episodes ago.
You're talking to a buddy,you're telling about buying
these properties in my mom.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
He's like oh, why would you do?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
that man.
I mean why don't you just leasethem, that's insane.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In regard to the nightly rental model yeah, yeah
he was.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
He was questioning your nightly rental model.
So right, so Give the responselike what's the appropriate
response to that, because I knowthe knee jerk like the ego mind
wants to say Go shove that youknow where.
Hey shut the hell up, shut up,what do?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
you know, yeah, I mean, there's a hundred you
don't know anything, you know,what?
Do you?
Have you ever done this?
Don't think so.
Walk away.
You know, see, but those arethe natural man.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
That's the ego driven response.
I'm getting to the core ofright.
Why lead with love is critical,yeah, for true and and lasting
success.
So so if you risk, you takethat naysayer.
He's just With no perspective,totally ignorant.
He's just sitting there, yeahyou know, poop wing on your
(05:51):
parade.
How do you respond to that?
What's the appropriate lead?
With love, you know.
Response.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, you know, thinking back, I believe my
response was well, you know,from my own careful research and
everything, I've just decided,this is the best course because
it allows me to get, you know,more revenues.
I mean it, it's literally amatter of you know, what are you
trying to accomplish right?
And, looking back, I canexplain this my best ability.
You know, I didn't get intoweeds because he wasn't asking.
(06:20):
I just said well, it's just, youknow from my research, I
thought it was the best right.
And you know he looked at me.
He's like, okay, well, you know, and if I were to elongate on
that conversation, how that went, you know it turned into him
later, at a different time,asking me Okay, so you know, how
did you do that?
You know, so it becomes,instead of me just shutting him
(06:43):
down saying you're an idiot,yeah, it was me saying, well,
you know, this is I did itbecause I thought it was the
best course of action because ofthis, this and this, yeah,
because of this research,because of this, whoa right.
Instead of pointing out that hewas wrong and I think that
opened his mind to oh, maybethere are other ways to do this.
Yeah, you know, and I thinkthere are countless ways to go
(07:06):
about the scenario.
Looking back, I probably couldhave said well, you know, why do
you think it's?
You know, I could have turnedon him and said, well, why do
you think it's wrong?
Yeah, you know, and I pickedthis way a little bit, but I
think, at the end of the day,the the worst thing you could do
is use the ego like that's theopposite of what we're talking
about here.
Yeah, the ego telling you ohman, this guy's a stupid Idiot
(07:29):
who doesn't know what he'stalking about.
Yeah, that is the wrongapproach.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I mean, that's probably the more common
approach you know you getoffended your ego gets offended.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Well, I remember I was ideas getting offended and
I'll be honest questioning your,your intelligence.
I was bothered questioning yourwrist like oh your reckless,
well, and I was like, who isthis guy to be telling me, have
you ever?
Has he ever done this before?
No, yeah, I'm sitting here forhaving these thoughts, right,
yeah, and it could have beeneasy for me to just destroy.
(08:02):
Destroy, that is way ofthinking, right, but in but
that's not.
And me even saying that isprobably ignorant and priceless.
You know, so I guess what I'mtrying to say is, instead of
just saying you know, I'm rightand you're wrong, maybe there
was an opportunity to say, heywell, why do you think that?
And then open the conversation.
(08:23):
Maybe there is an opportunity,if he really didn't know what
he's talking about, to helpprovide some impact and some
insight so that he couldunderstand, you know, and not to
say that I have all the answers.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Well that right.
There is where I'm trying tokind of guide this, which is,
the more successful you get, theharder it is to be humble, the
harder it is to stay humble, andit's been my experience that
when I've not been humble andI've let arrogance and ego
dictate, it obviously isdamaging to the relationships
(09:01):
that I care about, but at theend of the day it's the most
damaging to myself, right?
And so you know this is aself-love conversation too, if I
respond to your buddy and I say, man, I really appreciate you
caring about me so much that youwould share all this concern,
(09:21):
man.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I mean this is legit Like thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
What do you think he would have done?
Like it doesn't even matterwhat he might do, I guarantee it
would be a positive response.
It'd be like wow that'sinteresting, but for yourself,
like you'd walk away from thatconversation feeling elevated,
like knowing that you increaselove to someone attacking you
(09:48):
and that's pretty satisfying.
One way or another, whetheranything long-term comes up or
not, you know, it's just so.
There's a lot of focus.
Guys, I just have you allconsider that self-love is a
really critical piece of beingan entrepreneur.
Okay, you must have confidence,but it's really helpful to
(10:15):
always maintain this idea thatI'm not the smartest guy in the
room.
I have some great ideas, butI'm open to feedback.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I just want to surround myself with people who
know more than me and I welcomeit.
If you want to punch holes inhappiness like I'm selling you
the idea, I'm telling you whythis is a great idea.
But I value your criticalthinking so much because it says
that you care about my success.
Potentially, some people arenot.
(10:44):
You know they're not intendingthat when they just want to be
an A-sayer and they just want tobe negative and toxic.
But I think there are a numberof people that'll share these
concerns out of genuine,authentic concern for you or for
me.
You know speaking for myself.
And so, guys, as you expandyour businesses, be humble and
(11:06):
maintain this attitude.
This is a transition into aconversation of the power of
contrast in scarcity andabundance, the mentality of
scarcity versus abundance, andthis is also a really, really
big thing in my life.
You know, I've come tounderstand that being in a
(11:31):
scarcity mentality means thatI'm driven by fear and anxiety
and a negative energy.
If I'm programming myself to beand operate from an abundant
mentality, then it's operatingout of a space of love,
compassion, faith and hope.
(11:53):
And hope.
Right, hope isn't a strategy,but you know, I mean, a farmer
plants a seed with faith andhope that it will rain and then
the crop will grow right.
Once the crop starts to grow,you know the crop's gonna grow.
So there's ways, there'spractical application for all of
(12:15):
this right, and you guys willall go to lunches, okay, and I
try to avoid lunches at allcosts these days.
I used to go to so many lunchesIn the early days.
Everyone wanted to go to lunchand I couldn't stand whenever
I'd be the one footing the wholebill.
Everyone would invite me tolunch, but then I would pay.
(12:36):
I just kind of feel like Iwanna be the you know, the
abundant guy, so I'm gonna justpay for the whole lunch.
You know tipping tipping is aninteresting one.
You know my brother's a serverand you know I know many people
who work in the restaurantindustry and what an
underappreciated field to be in.
(12:58):
You know not experiencing a lotof love.
And it comes down to the.
You know who's a good tipperbecause they're an abundant mind
and who's that cheeks gate whowon't tip five bucks, right.
And guys, I'd have you thinkseriously on this that, as
(13:19):
you're starting a business,there's no better time to
cultivate an abundant mindsetwhen you have nothing.
Yeah, okay, you think it'seasier when you have millions of
dollars in the bank to beabundant.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh, when I have millions of dollars in the bank,
I'm gonna be abundant.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm gonna donate to charity, no it doesn't work that
way.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
If you're not doing it now, you're not gonna do it
then that's right.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You must condition your mind and your heart today
with nothing.
And so, okay, you don't havemoney to give away.
You can tip five bucks.
You can tip 20 bucks.
You can tip the gal atStarbucks, you can.
I don't even think it has to beany tips.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be money, it's not even the
tip thing, it's just you knowwhat do you have that you can do
?
It's not this thing.
Oh, I would if I could.
Yeah, See, that is the recipefor never doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I would, if I could so time.
So to give time, I would sayeveryone has time.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And there's something to do with effort.
You know what can you do, and Ithink it's a matter of
transitioning your thought fromoh, I can't do that now to well,
how can I do that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
now, Dude, it's so tempting guys and I'll be a
little vulnerable.
I'll admit that yesterday wasFather's Day and my most valued
thing is to have time with mykids, to have my kids come over
and visit.
But there's a nagging in theback of my head like I've got
(14:46):
all this work I gotta do.
It's not like I gotta do it, Iwanna do it.
I have a lot of work it's piledup.
I really wanna get to it.
And so, consciously and beingaware and not giving into that
temptation of putting work as apriority over family time, that
(15:08):
equates to the effort you'retalking about.
Yeah, you know, I mean we hadan awesome weekend.
We had Devon over, had Sierraover, I mean it was really.
We really packed a lot into theweekend and it was so
satisfying for me to just likeresist the temptation.
And then I ended up workingreally late last night, you know
(15:29):
, After everybody had left.
I got in.
I got some work time on aSunday night, yeah, but you
could say, oh, I'll have timewhen I'm successful.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What does that even mean?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That happens all the time, that is dangerous and that
was me man, when I told youabout the days you know building
a tile business, I wouldrationalize that I'd be like,
well, I've just got to grindright now.
I've got to kind of sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm gonna grind right now and I gotta get it done so
that someday Well, and you knowwhat's interesting, we're gonna
talk about this, I think, in alater episode, but a lot of
gurus and a lot of people willtell you yeah, you know, wake up
at 4 am and just eliminate alldistractions, like just work
really, really, really hard fora while and then later it'll all
(16:14):
be good, and I believe thatthat's true, okay, but I do not
believe that you put on givingand put off.
You know family andrelationships.
With that intent, oh man, Ijust have to hustle and just
forget everyone for the nextcouple of years, in a couple of
years, when you've made it andyou have no family, no friends,
(16:34):
can you push them all away?
What's it?
Are you really successful?
That's the question I would ask.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
So I think that's a key, so that kind of flies in
the face of some of our you knowour favorite podcasters and you
know characters out therebecause you know everyone's got
strong opinions about themorning routine or about the
sacrifice for the next two yearsand all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Well, I agree with it , I agree with the morning
routine, I agree with thesethings, and if you're gonna wake
up at 4 am, then just make sureyou're getting good sleep.
Maybe, you're gonna sacrificeyour social life at night, but
going to bed at midnight andthen waking up at 4 am, that's
not sustainable.
You're gonna burn yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That's a self love equation, so it was back to that
, yeah if you're gonna wake upbefore, great like that.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I love waking up early, I'm a morning person.
Yeah, I'll wake up early, yeah,but but it you know, if you
start getting four hours ofsleep at night and then you're
when you hit 3 pm and you'reabout to die because you're so
tired, I feel like, anyway,we're getting off it off the
back here.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
But you see what I'm trying to say.
Yep, yep, you know I go back toan experience just last summer
and Talking about back to leadwith love and had a very, very
interesting few opportunities.
You know we were building upthe, the housekeeping and
staging staff at sage Creek andyou know we brought on one of
(17:56):
our favorite characters, youknow Dan, he's our, he's our
property management, ouroperations manager, guy down
there, 38 years, you know, inthe military and just he is as
good as they get, as loyal, ascommitted a guy as you could
find.
And One of one of the ways thatI think we bonded so well was
(18:20):
because there were multipletimes that summer where we
encountered More cleans requiredthan we had housekeepers,
mm-hmm, and I would just jump inand go start cleaning units,
cleaning the toilets, cleaningthe showers, kitchen, knocking
units out right beside them andthey saw that and they commented
(18:44):
on that many times like man, Ijust can't even believe.
Like you were, like you bustedthrough those and I was like,
well, yeah, I mean it's, it isthe priority.
I'm not above the work, right?
I'm not above.
I'm not gonna ever ask you todo something I won't do.
That's important personally.
Yeah, that comes from theMarine Corps.
You know, I think I learnedthat first in the Marine Corps.
(19:05):
You know, always, always bewilling to do and be out in the
front, lead from the front, leadwith love, by being the person
willing to do anything, willingto do more than than anyone.
You're asking to do something.
Yeah so that was a powerful wayof Application value to have my
(19:30):
workforce like see that I'm notjust a talking shirt, I actually
roll my damn sleeves up and goto work.
Cleaning toilets.
Doesn't scare me, and I jokeabout that in board meetings.
You know, hey, what do you do?
Well, you know, I mean, I'm adeveloper and I clean toilets
quite a bit.
Yeah, it's funny, right, butit's true, it's true, and and
(19:50):
that's just to say thatnothing's beneath me.
So I think, as a business ownerwho's willing, who's willing to
do whatever it takes, there'snot a task in the whole stack of
tasks that's beneath me.
So I can't go hire someone tocome do this thing that I don't
want to do.
So there's a piece of, there'sa piece of philosophy for
(20:12):
everyone.
Think, you know, thinking aboutstarting business.
As long as you're willing to doevery function of the business
and Learn it inside and out andbe proficient with it.
Where you know whether you haveopportunity to do that, like
cleaning units, that that's agreat you know example Then do
it.
You know, be right out there,be willing to do some hard work,
(20:32):
abundance versus scarcity.
Where's another area in yourlife where you've you've
experienced family or friends,and how this scarcity mentality
has showed up, negativelyimpacting Some situations.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
There are tons of examples.
You know it's hard to mirrordown.
I mean I've I've had friendswho you know that are just super
, super concerned with everydime and every penny.
And you know and I'm not sayingbeing frugal is bad, I'm frugal
(21:12):
is actually very, veryimportant.
I believe that you know youwant to respect money and money
will respect you kind of type ofthing.
But but man there is a thingthat it just baffles my mind,
you know when, when you know atipping thing is an easy example
, but I think it can be extendedto a lot of different avenues.
(21:33):
And you think about my instantRight thought is Tony Robbins
money master the game.
It that book, if you haven'tread it, is super, super good.
That really paints the pictureof what we're talking about here
.
You, you hear money master thegame and my first thought of
what that book was gonna be outabout was very different than
(21:53):
what it actually was about.
Right, you read that and andthe the real focus of that book
was, you know how can you give?
And I think that's the biggestdistinction here in between a
scarce Mindset and an abundantmindset is the focus and the
necessity to save versus.
(22:16):
Oh, I believe that in giving Iwill also receive.
And you know I could givespecific examples, but I don't
know if that's super necessaryin the sense that, hey look,
just everyone has their ownexamples of this experience, in
this in your life, where you seethe difference, the stark
contrast of someone who is sofocused on saving that they
(22:40):
completely miss the point.
Oh man, I need to save, I needto prepare, I need to, but all
this stuff and they're soconcerned about every single
penny that, over however manyyears, they save up 30 grand and
they're like, okay, you know,but then you have another side
of it where if your focus is onproviding value, on giving, then
(23:01):
you're making so much more.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean, and I gotta know about the money, so an
interesting takeaway from thatis give without an expectation,
yeah, yeah, so you have to trainyourself to do that.
Yeah, if you're giving justwith this expectation of the
strings attached, you're gonnaget something from it.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
That's a hard life.
My counteract, you might bedisappointed often.
Yeah, yeah, You're gonna goabout, ooh yeah that's dangerous
.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, I just have you consider that if you're able to
program your mind and yourheart to be able to give without
expectation, that's really morefor you, right, when I give I
feel really good, yeah, and Irecognize that it makes me feel
good Like in my soul.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I feel good when I give, so yeah Well and Tony
Robbins talks about that in mynext game how you just set aside
some cash to do that and you'llstart to see or time, or time.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Time, man.
If I get out to do an interviewhere or help with this sales
call there, I'm like absolutely.
How are you doing 30 minutes?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
sure, how can I help?
Yeah, what are you able to give?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yeah, it's a cool feeling.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Awesome guys.
Well, we don't need tobeleaguers the matter here.
We've covered the thirduniversal principle in our
universal principle series.
Hope you guys got some valueout of it.
Love doing the show.
We hope you guys are enjoyingit.
We hope you'll tune into thenext episode and then for now
we're out.
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