May 10, 2022 • 32 mins
Embark on a transformative journey through the four pillars of a harmonious life: body, balance, being, and business. We unravel the tapestry of true success, which weaves together the threads of physical wellness, strong relationships, spiritual growth, and professional achievement. Join us as we chart the course towards a holistic triumph that redefines prosperity beyond the bank account, emphasizing the integration of the four Bs into a seamless blend that sings with personal fulfillment.
Our conversation takes a disciplined leap into the realm of fitness, where the might of a strict diet and rigorous workout routine does more than sculpt the body—it carves out a fortress of confidence and internal vigor. Sharing my routine of steak, steel-cut oats, and water for breakfast, I reveal the cascade of benefits that follow a committed health regimen. It's not just about looking good; it's about feeling invincible and harnessing the power of expert guidance to achieve personal peaks.
The heart of this episode beats in time with the effort we pour into our family relationships. It's the small, deliberate gestures and the unfettered presence we gift to our loved ones that forge unbreakable bonds. We explore strategies to ward off the siren call of digital distractions and champion real, tangible connections. As we expand these relationships, we underscore the fundamental role of communication, recognizing our inherent need for love and appreciation, and our duty to reach for our highest potential. Join us as we navigate these waters, where every interaction is an anchor, every word a sail, steering us towards the shores of a fulfilled and balanced existence.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right guys.
Welcome back to AstonIncorporated.
I'm your host, wayne Aston, andthis is my co-host, dallin
Aston.
Good to be here.
Excited to be back in studiotoday, guys, episode five, and
we've got some reallyinteresting things to cover
today, excited to get into theweeds a little bit on philosophy
(00:20):
.
Today is one of thosephilosophy conversations that
we've been wanting to cover andyou know, as Dallin and I were
talking before we got intostudio, you know we're talking
about entrepreneurs in generaland there's some common
denominators that you may findor you may have experienced with
(00:42):
.
Let's make a distinction.
There's a business owner andthere's an entrepreneur.
They can be the same thing.
A lot of the time they're veryseparate things.
And then there's a thirdcategory slave to the business.
That's like it's a whole otheruncanny card, right, right.
(01:03):
And so you know, dallin, youknow in one of the previous
episodes was clear to definethat we're not just talking
about how to start a business orhow to be an entrepreneur in
general.
The goal for us, for you, is tohelp you determine how to
become a successful businessowner, slash, entrepreneur and
(01:26):
be able to scale something.
We think it's particularlyexciting if you can take this
from something to nothing ideaand make something special of it
.
So what I'd like to kick offwith Dallin is this idea of
balance.
It's a time management.
It's a time management conceptIn my mind and over the years
(01:51):
I've come to have the experiencewith many coaches, many life
coaches, many business coaches,many religious coaches, many
coaches of different kinds.
And you know, when we it'sreally easy to find the
billionaire who's fattened outof shape, divorced, with no
(02:14):
family, so super lonely, and buthe's got, you know, a billion
dollars Right, it's really easyto find that guy.
So you just go through the fouror 500, like the top businesses,
and make your own.
You know you can read enough tofigure this out.
So you know we're getting intoa conversation of what does it
(02:35):
mean to really have it all?
Yeah, the body, a healthy bodyand elite level body balance,
meaning a fantastic relationshipwith your wife, with your kids,
with your you know outer circle, family and friends, business
associates, strong relationships.
(02:58):
Then there's a pillar in, sothere's really four pillars.
For me, the third pillar isbeing that's my relationship
with God, my spirituality.
You know you don't have to be areligious person and part of
any organization to A believe inGod and B recognize that we're
(03:22):
much more powerful if we allowGod into our lives and we can
accept miracles can be done inpartnership with God, and so so
there you know, there's a dailyfocus on developing the
relationship with God and yourspirituality.
And then there's the business.
So of these four pillars,businesses business is only one
(03:43):
of the four pillars In my mindwhen we define, what does it
take to have it all?
Those are the things.
If you have all four of thosethings, then I think there's
some secret ingredients to truesuccess, true happiness and, I
think what everyone wants rightSay the four one more time.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So you have body balance being and business.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
It's like the four B's, the four B's, that's right,
you remember that and sonaturally your mind goes to.
Well, if I have to work 16hours a day in my business, how
am I supposed to have balance?
How am I supposed to balancethese other four pillars If
business is only 25% of theequation?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
but it takes 16 hours a day.
How is?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
that you want to chime in on with your knee-jerk
reaction to what I'm puttingdown here.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, my first thought is what do we define
success as?
And some people look at successas solely monetary right.
And those people might say, ohman, they're not taking into
account, and I think that's whyyou'll find so many billionaires
, like you're saying, that arephysically unhealthy.
(05:04):
Their relationships suffer.
It's because their definitionof success is money.
And then you also have otherends of the spectrum where
people say my definition ofsuccess is physical health.
And then you have other aspectsof the life relationships.
They suffer relationshipsbecause they're in the gym for
(05:26):
so long, and I know people likethis.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So do I.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
yeah, yeah, their relationships suffer because
they're in there so much, orthey get obsessive, or their
finances lack because there's Imean, there's not that, and then
you have the balance.
Some people focus too much onthat side of thing that they
come off as needy or they comeoff as a little.
Do you know what I'm trying tosay?
(05:52):
And so I think it comes down towhat's our definition of
success and fulfillment, and Ithink, by the very definition of
how we're describing it, it isthat compilation of the four,
and you know, I mean you couldtweak it and make it your own,
as you should, but it's a very,very personal thing and I think
that's what sticks out to me themost about this is success is
(06:14):
largely dependent and determinedby you, and this, this balance
of the four, right, right.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I think that's important to realize.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It's like I could sit here and tell you my definition
, but when you internalize itfor yourself and say, yeah, you
know my, when I feel mostfulfilled is when my business is
going well, I feel physicallyhealthy, I have good
relationships and myrelationship with God is
powerful.
That's when I feel the mostfulfilled.
(06:46):
That's my definition of success.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So that's my initial knee jerk is.
You know it's a very personalthing, but at the same time
there are principles that can beapplied to anyone to build
their personal.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
I think the good news in this is that it's possible
to achieve that.
Yeah oh, 100%, because I thinka lot of the listeners are going
to be like how on earth do wedo that?
Like how specifically?
And so I'd have you considerthat the first piece of this
understanding, or this awareness, is that it's not a time
equation.
Okay, you naturally willprobably spend more time inside
(07:20):
of your business than you willin the gym.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I mean, that's a guarantee.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I will not spend eight hours in the gym, same
thing with family or same thingwith my.
Some of the things I do tocultivate my relationship with
God include meditation, you know, or you know you could attend
religious services or reading,you know certain books.
There's a lot of ways to, youknow, kind of expand your
spirituality, but you're notgoing to spend eight hours a day
(07:46):
doing that.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Whereas a lot of times you'll spend a lot of time
, people will spend eight hoursa day working.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So work becomes a huge.
So how are we supposed to dothat then?
Yeah, if you're, if we'redescribing these allocations
based on time, then it instantlyis fails, because we're working
eight to 10 hours a day onaverage.
Most people probably work thatamount.
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, if you break down the 24 hour day, we all
have the same 24 hours.
So this truly is a timemanagement.
It's how to be the mosteffective with the same amount
of time that we have.
Yeah, Okay.
So this kind of touches on the,this mantra that I'll use from
time to time.
It's one of my favoritesEquality is a false God.
(08:31):
Okay, that's offensive at firstto a lot of people, like what
are you talking about?
How God made us all equal?
It's not what I'm saying.
Right, my choices and thatguy's choices are dramatically
different.
So the equality lies in thechoices I make in a day.
Okay, so don't watch TV.
For example, someone mightspend four hours a day in front
(08:53):
of a TV.
Well, that's a choice that Ihave an extra four hours to be
productive with, whether that'swith family, in the gym, and you
can guess where I'm spendingthese extra hours.
So, guys, it's not a timeequation.
What it really boils down to isa.
It's a focus on finding harmonyin these four areas.
It's a focus on harmony, notbalance.
(09:16):
So let's just take balance offthe table for a goal.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, I mean it's interesting because we have in
the four Bs, one of them isbalance, so it's almost it's
like okay, well, why are yousaying balance, balance, body?
You know what I mean, and so itmakes more sense to say finding
harmony.
Because, as we're describing,balance is relationship-wise.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Right, yeah, it's relationships.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, so you're finding harmony.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I like that so much more.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
And as you say that, it makes me think I've heard in
the workplace and for anyone whoworks in a corporate or
whatever that kind of space,I've actually heard this a lot
the leadership will say, oh, youneed a good work-life balance.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And then other people have.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, and other people have this thought oh,
that's impossible.
I've actually heard this before.
Oh, that's impossible Becauseyou can't have a balance.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
And I agree in the sense that you cannot have a
time balance but, I disagree inthe sense you can have harmony,
yeah Right, and so I love that.
You said that that's powerful.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And you could put whatever words on this you want.
You don't want to call it, youdon't want to use four Bs, then
it's fitness, it's family, it'sspirituality and it's finances
or business or work right.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I almost kind of want to find an F word for the
spirit shout.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, okay, yeah, four S, yeah, you can come up
with your own thing.
We're conveying high levelconcepts, so let's talk about
body for a second.
How powerful has it been foryou?
Because you're a fit guy.
I mean, you've got shouldersand two different zip codes and
you know you've convention athousand pounds.
So you obviously have done somework in the category of body.
(11:06):
So what is the prize for youLike?
What's the payoff other thanlooking great, like you know?
Let's talk about body for asecond.
Like how does that impact?
Harmony in these other areas.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah, you know, it's interesting.
You asked me this becauseactually two weeks ago.
So the current kind of myfitness journey is pretty strict
and I won't get necessarilyinto the, but it's fairly
straight.
I mean, you know right, and Ihad a friend the other day I was
(11:40):
eating my steak for breakfastwith, so I was eating the steak
and the hummus and my, yeah, Ithrew some two cups of oats in
my blender and just blended itwith water.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Still cut oats and water.
Yeah, and I'm drinking that inmy clean car, pure car.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, my buddy comes in.
He's my roommate.
He walks in, he goes.
You know why on earth are youdoing that?
That is, you are a psychopath.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
That's what he said to me.
He said you're a psychopath.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Man it's fun to talk about this because I looked at
him and I was like you know,that's a good question, like why
?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
right, this is not enjoyable for me.
No, I don't enjoy it.
No, eating for results is notenjoyable, right, right.
And I looked at him and I waslike I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It, you know, looking good is kind of a cherry on top
.
You know, for me, the realthing I think for me is, you
know, with fitness, with workingon something, you can see the
results very, you know, visuallyin that way and you can feel it
.
For me, I can feel a differencein just my energy level, my,
(12:51):
you know, my confidence.
You know there's a lot ofdifferent things that come from
it, but for me it's thediscipline required to get there
.
It's what's most valuable to me, because before I would do all
this, I felt a serious lack ofdiscipline.
I mean, and I still did coolstuff, I still would, and I
still was a hustler.
I feel like I've always beenthat way.
(13:12):
But when you start introducingthe concept of true discipline,
the only way to get elite levelresults physically is to be
extremely disciplined, and Ibelieve that freedom is a direct
result of discipline.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, jocco, jocco, jocco, jocco.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Discipline equals freedom.
Yeah, absolutely Right and so,when we think about it, my
answer to him was it instillswithin me a greater ability to
be disciplined with myself.
And then there are times whereI'm like I don't want to eat
this right now.
Oh, but you know what I'mdisciplined, this is what I do,
this is who I am, so I'll do it,or I'll be at the gym and I can
go early right now.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So that stake in the morning with two cups of you
know, steel cutouts and water?
Why that specifically?
That seems just as clean asthere's no fluff in there.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Right, I mean, there is a clear path that I'm
following and again it's youknow, I've gone through and done
my due diligence.
I've asked you a lot, you know,and tried to get everything
that I can in regard toeducation.
Okay, how am I gonna reach, howam I gonna be the way that I
want to be?
Yeah, and I think that ties thebody, it's like.
Well, physically I feel moreconfident, I feel more energized
(14:25):
, I feel more powerful, andthose three things bleed into
every other aspect of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Okay, listeners, there's some gold right there.
What I wanna underscore andmake sure everybody heard
correctly, is Dallin and I sharethe same thing, but Dallin's
explaining is he feels a greaterdegree of inner power that
comes from knowing that he's onthis disciplined path.
(14:55):
So there's a self-confidencebooster of being disciplined and
there's a self-confidencebooster in looking the way you
want to look and feeling the wayyou want to feel.
Your energy level is differentFor me.
I like to walk into a boardroomand my shirt's a little tighter
than everyone else's.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
And they can see that I'm very determined about my
regiment.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I commonly try to avoid lunch.
I don't like to go have lunchwith people.
Because, if I do that, then I'meating breads and pastas or
something that probably it's alot easier to go off of my meal
plan.
It's a very strict meal planthat I'm using and, guys, this
isn't just a natural knowing.
(15:43):
I mean I want you guys to know,I was raised in athletics.
I mean I was a team captain ofthe state championship football
team and we were undefeated andall of this.
So we learned about work ethic,but no one ever taught me about
nutrition.
I mean, shout out to some of mycoaches, man, I have one of the
(16:05):
most elite nutrition coaches onearth, mike Manfrey.
Another one overall coachGarrett Kohelo, and Shane Hugley
has also been a big part ofteaching me nutrition and the
right way to work out.
But I'll tell you, guys, Ispent years and years and years
(16:26):
in the gym eating the wrongthings, working my guts out in
the gym or what I thought wasworking my guts out.
Turns out I was never pushingenough weight or doing enough
reps to make a difference, so Iwas kind of I mean, I've always
been quote unquote fit.
I've never been heavier than Iwanna be, but I've never been
(16:49):
the ripped, muscular, bigger guylike I have ambition to be and
like I'm striving to be rightnow.
It took coaches and it tooksome training.
It wasn't until maybe only fouryears ago when I got super
serious and I said I'm tired oflike working so hard in the gym.
I'm gonna hire some pros Like Ihave blind spots.
I gotta figure this out becausethe details matter.
(17:13):
I've gotta figure out thedetails and then build a plan of
discipline like you're talkingabout, inside of those fine
details.
And it's incredible whathappens when you know the
details.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Well, seeing what's interesting to me is I have a
newfound respect.
When I am at the gym or I'mjust somewhere and I see someone
that is super, super and I cantell their fit because I know
what goes into that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, and I'm likethis is so hard for me.
Oh yeah, you know, the firstweek I started doing this, my
(17:47):
body hurt.
I remember the first time I didlegs on this really flushed out
regime that I'm doing.
I went home and I literally wason my bed like on the couch
working, and I woke up a coupleof hours and I was so exhausted
Because I was like this isintroducing something totally
new to my body.
And then I'm eating and I'mlike, oh my gosh, this is so
hard, yeah.
But then you keep doing it andthat's when I think, the
(18:10):
confidence and the ability tosay, oh wow, I'm feeling
different, it's when youcontinue to do it and say you
know it's cause it.
Let's be honest, it's more thanjust looking good.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh, it is, it is so it's In fact that's not a
powerful enough motivator to dothis.
No, no, no, when you get into,like eating, the number of clean
calories at night.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
It's not enjoyable at all.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
No, no, yeah, looking good is just a byproduct, but
the feeling good and thelongevity and the power that
comes from it.
I'd also have you consider thatanyone listening today I'd have
you consider that you don't getto take a break from your body.
Yeah, your body goes with youeverywhere, so it's a 24 seven
(18:56):
constant, whereas the otherpillars are not Interesting.
Your family relationships arenot a 24 seven constant, your
business certainly is not.
Now, your relationship with Godcan be, but if you're asleep
and dreaming, it's not a, it'snot to me, it's not.
(19:16):
There's not directconsciousness on it.
Now, with body, sleeping isbuilding.
Yeah, so there's a plan there'sa sleep plan that accompanies
the meal plan.
That accompanies the workout.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
You're not getting stronger in the gym, you're
breaking it down and so thesleeping.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So now, now you're in a challenge, like the die hard
entrepreneurs who wanna work allnight on the laptop and try and
sleep on four hours a day,waking before in.
I would have you consider ifyou actually got enough sleep
seven, eight hours of sleep.
Your brain was repaired, yourmuscles were repaired and you
(19:54):
really put in that hard work,both on the meal plan and the
workout and your body was intune and you have that inner
power.
You probably will produce twiceas much as you could, right?
If you only got four hours ofsleep and you were banging away
on the laptop in your flow state.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
So it's something to consider guys.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's gonna be different for everybody.
There's gonna be guys thatbelieve that you know they work
the best on five hours of sleep.
Arnold Schwarzenegger himselfnow says that he probably only
needs six hours of sleep a night.
So I'm not gonna sit and sayyou know you need eight hours of
sleep.
I'm just suggesting that aconscious effort on body.
(20:35):
You find what works for you.
Well, it's kind of thefoundation that supports the
other three pillars, right, butif you take body out of it, I
think everything else suffers,personally, for sure.
So I think that's probablypriority one is get the focus on
the body right and everythingwill follow that Interesting.
You'll have more power inbusiness.
(20:56):
You'll have a betterrelationship with your wife and
kids.
For sure.
You'll be a better example toyour wife and kids, right, and
in you know, your relationshipwith God.
I feel like, personally, if I'mbuilding my body into the best
possible version it physicallyis, then I'm doing right by God.
(21:16):
Well, yeah See, I'm a stewardof the body.
I don't own my body.
He's allowed me to be inside ofthis amazing body.
So it's kind of back to theparallel of talents we were
talking about a couple of weeksago.
There's an obligation as asteward to do certain things a
certain way, and so in my mindit's even bigger than me.
(21:38):
It's like I woke up today.
I will he let me wake up today,right?
He let my heartbeat and mylungs fill with air and my brain
to function, and not everyonegets that every day.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
So now I have to, I have to take care of it.
That's right, that's not onlytake care of it.
Maybe it's another step further, as I'm thinking about this
here with you is maybe it's.
I have to magnify it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah, yeah, maybe you know absolutely.
That's absolutely what I'm whatI'm getting at here, and so
let's talk about familyrelationships a little bit.
Family relationships this isgoing to be different for
everyone.
This is a very, you know, youhave lots of traditions
(22:26):
depending on where you live andwhat organizations you're
affiliated with.
So there's a lot of familytradition and opportunity,
holidays that are natural kindof family gatherings.
But how do you, how have youobserved or how in your mind is
are some of the things thatcould, that could expand family
(22:48):
relationships and kind ofaccomplish this successful
harmony in what we're talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yeah, that's a good question and again, I think that
would be different for everyone.
I mean for me personally.
I'm not married, I don't havekids you know.
So mine would be different thanyours, but I am an older brother
to four siblings and you knowI'm a son and I obviously have,
you know, friend relationshipsthat are really close and I
think for me it's.
(23:15):
I'll give you just a quickexample Devin little brother,
he's 13.
And you know I'll go hang outwith him just a couple times a
month.
I so I live 45 minutes away,right, but I'll make the
conscious effort to say hey, youknow I'm going to come just see
him, and he's one of theexamples of siblings.
(23:36):
But but because I've done thatover the past several this is
just very current situation,because I've done that for a
while He'll call me randomly,like FaceTime, like yesterday.
Let me give you an example ofthis, and I think this ties into
the overarching idea that Iwant to get across.
He FaceTimed me yesterdaybecause he knows that I love NF.
(23:59):
Okay, so my favorite artist ofall time.
Nf Devin knows that I love himand he started listening to NF
and yesterday he texted me.
He goes hey, I learned theentire lyrics to this song.
I can rap it and he's 13, right, so cool.
He said I learned the entiresong and I was like no way Right
(24:20):
.
And then he FaceTimed me.
He's like I want to show you.
He FaceTimed me and he puts onthe music and he wraps the
entire song.
I thought it was awesome, but Iwas like, well, why would he
have done that?
You know, and it really like itwas such a simple thing, but it
actually hit me pretty deep.
It made me think about thisprinciple of how can you
(24:42):
cultivate a family relationship,a friend relationship that is
so deep that person completelyand holistically just trusts you
and just loves you and viceversa.
Yeah Right, you're not in it toget something, you're not in it
to gain anything.
You're in it because you lovethem and they love you and
(25:06):
that's just.
You know, that's just how it is.
And I think when you put andagain, this is not a factor of
time, but when you put effort, Ithink it's a matter of effort.
When it is time, it's qualityover quantity here, right, right
, it's like he knows.
And same thing with my othersiblings, my sisters.
They know that I put in effort.
(25:28):
I'll send them a text.
Hey, just thinking about it.
I hope you're doing that.
Yeah, check-ins, I'll send thema song that I thought was
meaningful, and I've done this alot actually.
It's like, hey, this song mademe think of you.
It takes, see, and the time isirrelevant at that point, it's
just like just something that Ido and I'm not having to plan
this out through my day, I'm nothaving to sit down in my daily
(25:48):
planning session and say, okay,now 30 minutes to cultivate
family, really you know, yeah,you're not going to do it.
You're not going to map it outlike that.
No absolutely not.
You know, and I think when youcan transition from oh, I have
to have two hours at night tojust soul, you know, and
everything's different foreveryone, right, but for me what
(26:10):
I found the most effective isjust to say today, how can I be,
how can I show them effort?
And sometimes that does looklike I'm going to have two hours
tonight for them, I'm going toplan a three hour little outing
with them.
Sometimes it does incorporatetime, but I don't think time is
the leading factor.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I think you hit it right on the head that the
quality of what you're puttingout there is the key to it,
because we're talking aboutresults, guys.
We're not talking about 24hours in a day.
Okay, I'd have you considerthat you can accomplish 10 weeks
worth of work in a week ifyou're effective with the
(26:52):
delivery Right.
Okay, that could apply tobusiness.
It could apply to everythingwe're talking about In the
family scenario.
One concept that I live and dieby is if you're the person in
front of me, then by default,you're the most important person
in the world to me and I canlook you in the eyes, like I am,
(27:15):
and I can genuinely tell youright now, in this moment,
you're the most important personin the world to me.
Try that in a business meeting.
Try that with your wife, youguys.
Try that with your kids.
I mean, it applies toeverything when you can really
focus yourself on what Downeywas saying love, love is the
(27:39):
driver.
What can I contribute to thisinteraction?
It's little stuff.
It's looking someone in theeyes, it's being vulnerable,
it's authentic communicationWith five kids and raising kids
in the day and age that we're in, social media and cell phones
are a serious issue.
(28:01):
It's tough to get these girls toput the phone down, and social
media addiction is a real thing.
People really spend a lot oftime on this, but I've been
experimenting with fatherlytactics of maybe we should go to
dinner and put our phones inthe car and leave them in the
(28:23):
car so that we don't have that,because how annoying is it when
we're all sitting at PF Changsand everyone's got their phone
out, you see, these memes onsocial media.
It's like we're all zombies.
So, guys, it's just effort, butit's a conscious, focused,
targeted.
What do I want out of arelationship?
(28:45):
So another concept ROI we'regoing to talk about.
In the business sense of it,ROI stands for return on
investment and I'd have youconsider that the more
enlightened, the moreenlightened definition of that
is return on involvement.
(29:08):
So whatever I put into arelationship, it's likely I'll
get it back.
But I shouldn't have anexpectation on getting something
back.
I've got to be willing to jumpout of the plane with no net and
no guarantees that anythingcomes back to me.
So there's a real authenticlevel of a willingness to pour
into someone my love and mygenuine care for them, without
(29:33):
an expectation of some stringsattached.
And that's really criticalraising teenagers, because they
just don't typically reciprocate.
So for those of you guys thatare raising teenagers, just know
that most of the time I don'tget the instant gratification of
(29:54):
reciprocation With adults.
It's a quick path to buildingauthentic relationships when I
look someone in the eye and Ihave a meeting and I'm hugging
someone the first time I meetthem.
Those are things that areuncommon and it can be shocking
to some people, but as humans weall have these needs and
(30:19):
feeling loved and appreciated isa big one.
It's a big one.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So we're talking about communication, we're
talking about relationshipbuilding.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
These are all fundamentals.
So we've covered the body, thefitness, the family
relationships, the relationshipsin general, business.
I mean this all appliesExpansion.
I think I want to leave thelisteners with the prevailing
(30:49):
thought, the prevailing focus ofthis episode is that expansion
is an obligation.
In order for us to fulfill ourhighest possible version of
ourselves and fulfill ourobligation to God, then we must
expand in all of thesecategories to find that highest
(31:12):
version of ourselves.
So with that I think we wrap itup, guys.
We've covered a lot and lookforward to getting into the next
episode, but for now, hopefullyyou've got something to chew on
, hopefully you've got someactionable items to take home
with you, and we appreciate youguys tuning in to Aston
Incorporated.
All right guys.
Welcome back to AstonIncorporated.
I'm your host, wayne Aston, andthis is my co-host, dallin
Aston.
Good to be here.
Excited to be back in studiotoday, guys, episode five, and
we've got some reallyinteresting things to cover
today, excited to get into theweeds a little bit on philosophy
(00:20):
.
Today is one of thosephilosophy conversations that
we've been wanting to cover andyou know, as Dallin and I were
talking before we got intostudio, you know we're talking
about entrepreneurs in generaland there's some common
denominators that you may findor you may have experienced with
(00:42):
.
Let's make a distinction.
There's a business owner andthere's an entrepreneur.
They can be the same thing.
A lot of the time they're veryseparate things.
And then there's a thirdcategory slave to the business.
That's like it's a whole otheruncanny card, right, right.
(01:03):
And so you know, dallin, youknow in one of the previous
episodes was clear to definethat we're not just talking
about how to start a business orhow to be an entrepreneur in
general.
The goal for us, for you, is tohelp you determine how to
become a successful businessowner, slash, entrepreneur and
(01:26):
be able to scale something.
We think it's particularlyexciting if you can take this
from something to nothing ideaand make something special of it
.
So what I'd like to kick offwith Dallin is this idea of
balance.
It's a time management.
It's a time management conceptIn my mind and over the years
(01:51):
I've come to have the experiencewith many coaches, many life
coaches, many business coaches,many religious coaches, many
coaches of different kinds.
And you know, when we it'sreally easy to find the
billionaire who's fattened outof shape, divorced, with no
(02:14):
family, so super lonely, and buthe's got, you know, a billion
dollars Right, it's really easyto find that guy.
So you just go through the fouror 500, like the top businesses,
and make your own.
You know you can read enough tofigure this out.
So you know we're getting intoa conversation of what does it
(02:35):
mean to really have it all?
Yeah, the body, a healthy bodyand elite level body balance,
meaning a fantastic relationshipwith your wife, with your kids,
with your you know outer circle, family and friends, business
associates, strong relationships.
(02:58):
Then there's a pillar in, sothere's really four pillars.
For me, the third pillar isbeing that's my relationship
with God, my spirituality.
You know you don't have to be areligious person and part of
any organization to A believe inGod and B recognize that we're
(03:22):
much more powerful if we allowGod into our lives and we can
accept miracles can be done inpartnership with God, and so so
there you know, there's a dailyfocus on developing the
relationship with God and yourspirituality.
And then there's the business.
So of these four pillars,businesses business is only one
(03:43):
of the four pillars In my mindwhen we define, what does it
take to have it all?
Those are the things.
If you have all four of thosethings, then I think there's
some secret ingredients to truesuccess, true happiness and, I
think what everyone wants rightSay the four one more time.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So you have body balance being and business.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
It's like the four B's, the four B's, that's right,
you remember that and sonaturally your mind goes to.
Well, if I have to work 16hours a day in my business, how
am I supposed to have balance?
How am I supposed to balancethese other four pillars If
business is only 25% of theequation?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
but it takes 16 hours a day.
How is?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
that you want to chime in on with your knee-jerk
reaction to what I'm puttingdown here.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, my first thought is what do we define
success as?
And some people look at successas solely monetary right.
And those people might say, ohman, they're not taking into
account, and I think that's whyyou'll find so many billionaires
, like you're saying, that arephysically unhealthy.
(05:04):
Their relationships suffer.
It's because their definitionof success is money.
And then you also have otherends of the spectrum where
people say my definition ofsuccess is physical health.
And then you have other aspectsof the life relationships.
They suffer relationshipsbecause they're in the gym for
(05:26):
so long, and I know people likethis.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So do I.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
yeah, yeah, their relationships suffer because
they're in there so much, orthey get obsessive, or their
finances lack because there's Imean, there's not that, and then
you have the balance.
Some people focus too much onthat side of thing that they
come off as needy or they comeoff as a little.
Do you know what I'm trying tosay?
(05:52):
And so I think it comes down towhat's our definition of
success and fulfillment, and Ithink, by the very definition of
how we're describing it, it isthat compilation of the four,
and you know, I mean you couldtweak it and make it your own,
as you should, but it's a very,very personal thing and I think
that's what sticks out to me themost about this is success is
(06:14):
largely dependent and determinedby you, and this, this balance
of the four, right, right.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I think that's important to realize.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It's like I could sit here and tell you my definition
, but when you internalize itfor yourself and say, yeah, you
know my, when I feel mostfulfilled is when my business is
going well, I feel physicallyhealthy, I have good
relationships and myrelationship with God is
powerful.
That's when I feel the mostfulfilled.
(06:46):
That's my definition of success.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So that's my initial knee jerk is.
You know it's a very personalthing, but at the same time
there are principles that can beapplied to anyone to build
their personal.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
I think the good news in this is that it's possible
to achieve that.
Yeah oh, 100%, because I thinka lot of the listeners are going
to be like how on earth do wedo that?
Like how specifically?
And so I'd have you considerthat the first piece of this
understanding, or this awareness, is that it's not a time
equation.
Okay, you naturally willprobably spend more time inside
(07:20):
of your business than you willin the gym.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I mean, that's a guarantee.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I will not spend eight hours in the gym, same
thing with family or same thingwith my.
Some of the things I do tocultivate my relationship with
God include meditation, you know, or you know you could attend
religious services or reading,you know certain books.
There's a lot of ways to, youknow, kind of expand your
spirituality, but you're notgoing to spend eight hours a day
(07:46):
doing that.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Whereas a lot of times you'll spend a lot of time
, people will spend eight hoursa day working.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
So work becomes a huge.
So how are we supposed to dothat then?
Yeah, if you're, if we'redescribing these allocations
based on time, then it instantlyis fails, because we're working
eight to 10 hours a day onaverage.
Most people probably work thatamount.
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, if you break down the 24 hour day, we all
have the same 24 hours.
So this truly is a timemanagement.
It's how to be the mosteffective with the same amount
of time that we have.
Yeah, Okay.
So this kind of touches on the,this mantra that I'll use from
time to time.
It's one of my favoritesEquality is a false God.
(08:31):
Okay, that's offensive at firstto a lot of people, like what
are you talking about?
How God made us all equal?
It's not what I'm saying.
Right, my choices and thatguy's choices are dramatically
different.
So the equality lies in thechoices I make in a day.
Okay, so don't watch TV.
For example, someone mightspend four hours a day in front
(08:53):
of a TV.
Well, that's a choice that Ihave an extra four hours to be
productive with, whether that'swith family, in the gym, and you
can guess where I'm spendingthese extra hours.
So, guys, it's not a timeequation.
What it really boils down to isa.
It's a focus on finding harmonyin these four areas.
It's a focus on harmony, notbalance.
(09:16):
So let's just take balance offthe table for a goal.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, I mean it's interesting because we have in
the four Bs, one of them isbalance, so it's almost it's
like okay, well, why are yousaying balance, balance, body?
You know what I mean, and so itmakes more sense to say finding
harmony.
Because, as we're describing,balance is relationship-wise.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Right, yeah, it's relationships.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, so you're finding harmony.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I like that so much more.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
And as you say that, it makes me think I've heard in
the workplace and for anyone whoworks in a corporate or
whatever that kind of space,I've actually heard this a lot
the leadership will say, oh, youneed a good work-life balance.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And then other people have.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, and other people have this thought oh,
that's impossible.
I've actually heard this before.
Oh, that's impossible Becauseyou can't have a balance.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
And I agree in the sense that you cannot have a
time balance but, I disagree inthe sense you can have harmony,
yeah Right, and so I love that.
You said that that's powerful.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And you could put whatever words on this you want.
You don't want to call it, youdon't want to use four Bs, then
it's fitness, it's family, it'sspirituality and it's finances
or business or work right.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I almost kind of want to find an F word for the
spirit shout.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah, okay, yeah, four S, yeah, you can come up
with your own thing.
We're conveying high levelconcepts, so let's talk about
body for a second.
How powerful has it been foryou?
Because you're a fit guy.
I mean, you've got shouldersand two different zip codes and
you know you've convention athousand pounds.
So you obviously have done somework in the category of body.
(11:06):
So what is the prize for youLike?
What's the payoff other thanlooking great, like you know?
Let's talk about body for asecond.
Like how does that impact?
Harmony in these other areas.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah, you know, it's interesting.
You asked me this becauseactually two weeks ago.
So the current kind of myfitness journey is pretty strict
and I won't get necessarilyinto the, but it's fairly
straight.
I mean, you know right, and Ihad a friend the other day I was
(11:40):
eating my steak for breakfastwith, so I was eating the steak
and the hummus and my, yeah, Ithrew some two cups of oats in
my blender and just blended itwith water.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Still cut oats and water.
Yeah, and I'm drinking that inmy clean car, pure car.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, my buddy comes in.
He's my roommate.
He walks in, he goes.
You know why on earth are youdoing that?
That is, you are a psychopath.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
That's what he said to me.
He said you're a psychopath.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Man it's fun to talk about this because I looked at
him and I was like you know,that's a good question, like why
?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
right, this is not enjoyable for me.
No, I don't enjoy it.
No, eating for results is notenjoyable, right, right.
And I looked at him and I waslike I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It, you know, looking good is kind of a cherry on top
.
You know, for me, the realthing I think for me is, you
know, with fitness, with workingon something, you can see the
results very, you know, visuallyin that way and you can feel it
.
For me, I can feel a differencein just my energy level, my,
(12:51):
you know, my confidence.
You know there's a lot ofdifferent things that come from
it, but for me it's thediscipline required to get there
.
It's what's most valuable to me, because before I would do all
this, I felt a serious lack ofdiscipline.
I mean, and I still did coolstuff, I still would, and I
still was a hustler.
I feel like I've always beenthat way.
(13:12):
But when you start introducingthe concept of true discipline,
the only way to get elite levelresults physically is to be
extremely disciplined, and Ibelieve that freedom is a direct
result of discipline.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, jocco, jocco, jocco, jocco.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Discipline equals freedom.
Yeah, absolutely Right and so,when we think about it, my
answer to him was it instillswithin me a greater ability to
be disciplined with myself.
And then there are times whereI'm like I don't want to eat
this right now.
Oh, but you know what I'mdisciplined, this is what I do,
this is who I am, so I'll do it,or I'll be at the gym and I can
go early right now.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So that stake in the morning with two cups of you
know, steel cutouts and water?
Why that specifically?
That seems just as clean asthere's no fluff in there.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Right, I mean, there is a clear path that I'm
following and again it's youknow, I've gone through and done
my due diligence.
I've asked you a lot, you know,and tried to get everything
that I can in regard toeducation.
Okay, how am I gonna reach, howam I gonna be the way that I
want to be?
Yeah, and I think that ties thebody, it's like.
Well, physically I feel moreconfident, I feel more energized
(14:25):
, I feel more powerful, andthose three things bleed into
every other aspect of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Okay, listeners, there's some gold right there.
What I wanna underscore andmake sure everybody heard
correctly, is Dallin and I sharethe same thing, but Dallin's
explaining is he feels a greaterdegree of inner power that
comes from knowing that he's onthis disciplined path.
(14:55):
So there's a self-confidencebooster of being disciplined and
there's a self-confidencebooster in looking the way you
want to look and feeling the wayyou want to feel.
Your energy level is differentFor me.
I like to walk into a boardroomand my shirt's a little tighter
than everyone else's.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
And they can see that I'm very determined about my
regiment.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I commonly try to avoid lunch.
I don't like to go have lunchwith people.
Because, if I do that, then I'meating breads and pastas or
something that probably it's alot easier to go off of my meal
plan.
It's a very strict meal planthat I'm using and, guys, this
isn't just a natural knowing.
(15:43):
I mean I want you guys to know,I was raised in athletics.
I mean I was a team captain ofthe state championship football
team and we were undefeated andall of this.
So we learned about work ethic,but no one ever taught me about
nutrition.
I mean, shout out to some of mycoaches, man, I have one of the
(16:05):
most elite nutrition coaches onearth, mike Manfrey.
Another one overall coachGarrett Kohelo, and Shane Hugley
has also been a big part ofteaching me nutrition and the
right way to work out.
But I'll tell you, guys, Ispent years and years and years
(16:26):
in the gym eating the wrongthings, working my guts out in
the gym or what I thought wasworking my guts out.
Turns out I was never pushingenough weight or doing enough
reps to make a difference, so Iwas kind of I mean, I've always
been quote unquote fit.
I've never been heavier than Iwanna be, but I've never been
(16:49):
the ripped, muscular, bigger guylike I have ambition to be and
like I'm striving to be rightnow.
It took coaches and it tooksome training.
It wasn't until maybe only fouryears ago when I got super
serious and I said I'm tired oflike working so hard in the gym.
I'm gonna hire some pros Like Ihave blind spots.
I gotta figure this out becausethe details matter.
(17:13):
I've gotta figure out thedetails and then build a plan of
discipline like you're talkingabout, inside of those fine
details.
And it's incredible whathappens when you know the
details.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Well, seeing what's interesting to me is I have a
newfound respect.
When I am at the gym or I'mjust somewhere and I see someone
that is super, super and I cantell their fit because I know
what goes into that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, and I'm likethis is so hard for me.
Oh yeah, you know, the firstweek I started doing this, my
(17:47):
body hurt.
I remember the first time I didlegs on this really flushed out
regime that I'm doing.
I went home and I literally wason my bed like on the couch
working, and I woke up a coupleof hours and I was so exhausted
Because I was like this isintroducing something totally
new to my body.
And then I'm eating and I'mlike, oh my gosh, this is so
hard, yeah.
But then you keep doing it andthat's when I think, the
(18:10):
confidence and the ability tosay, oh wow, I'm feeling
different, it's when youcontinue to do it and say you
know it's cause it.
Let's be honest, it's more thanjust looking good.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh, it is, it is so it's In fact that's not a
powerful enough motivator to dothis.
No, no, no, when you get into,like eating, the number of clean
calories at night.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
It's not enjoyable at all.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
No, no, yeah, looking good is just a byproduct, but
the feeling good and thelongevity and the power that
comes from it.
I'd also have you consider thatanyone listening today I'd have
you consider that you don't getto take a break from your body.
Yeah, your body goes with youeverywhere, so it's a 24 seven
(18:56):
constant, whereas the otherpillars are not Interesting.
Your family relationships arenot a 24 seven constant, your
business certainly is not.
Now, your relationship with Godcan be, but if you're asleep
and dreaming, it's not a, it'snot to me, it's not.
(19:16):
There's not directconsciousness on it.
Now, with body, sleeping isbuilding.
Yeah, so there's a plan there'sa sleep plan that accompanies
the meal plan.
That accompanies the workout.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
You're not getting stronger in the gym, you're
breaking it down and so thesleeping.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So now, now you're in a challenge, like the die hard
entrepreneurs who wanna work allnight on the laptop and try and
sleep on four hours a day,waking before in.
I would have you consider ifyou actually got enough sleep
seven, eight hours of sleep.
Your brain was repaired, yourmuscles were repaired and you
(19:54):
really put in that hard work,both on the meal plan and the
workout and your body was intune and you have that inner
power.
You probably will produce twiceas much as you could, right?
If you only got four hours ofsleep and you were banging away
on the laptop in your flow state.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
So it's something to consider guys.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's gonna be different for everybody.
There's gonna be guys thatbelieve that you know they work
the best on five hours of sleep.
Arnold Schwarzenegger himselfnow says that he probably only
needs six hours of sleep a night.
So I'm not gonna sit and sayyou know you need eight hours of
sleep.
I'm just suggesting that aconscious effort on body.
(20:35):
You find what works for you.
Well, it's kind of thefoundation that supports the
other three pillars, right, butif you take body out of it, I
think everything else suffers,personally, for sure.
So I think that's probablypriority one is get the focus on
the body right and everythingwill follow that Interesting.
You'll have more power inbusiness.
(20:56):
You'll have a betterrelationship with your wife and
kids.
For sure.
You'll be a better example toyour wife and kids, right, and
in you know, your relationshipwith God.
I feel like, personally, if I'mbuilding my body into the best
possible version it physicallyis, then I'm doing right by God.
(21:16):
Well, yeah See, I'm a stewardof the body.
I don't own my body.
He's allowed me to be inside ofthis amazing body.
So it's kind of back to theparallel of talents we were
talking about a couple of weeksago.
There's an obligation as asteward to do certain things a
certain way, and so in my mindit's even bigger than me.
(21:38):
It's like I woke up today.
I will he let me wake up today,right?
He let my heartbeat and mylungs fill with air and my brain
to function, and not everyonegets that every day.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
So now I have to, I have to take care of it.
That's right, that's not onlytake care of it.
Maybe it's another step further, as I'm thinking about this
here with you is maybe it's.
I have to magnify it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah, yeah, maybe you know absolutely.
That's absolutely what I'm whatI'm getting at here, and so
let's talk about familyrelationships a little bit.
Family relationships this isgoing to be different for
everyone.
This is a very, you know, youhave lots of traditions
(22:26):
depending on where you live andwhat organizations you're
affiliated with.
So there's a lot of familytradition and opportunity,
holidays that are natural kindof family gatherings.
But how do you, how have youobserved or how in your mind is
are some of the things thatcould, that could expand family
(22:48):
relationships and kind ofaccomplish this successful
harmony in what we're talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yeah, that's a good question and again, I think that
would be different for everyone.
I mean for me personally.
I'm not married, I don't havekids you know.
So mine would be different thanyours, but I am an older brother
to four siblings and you knowI'm a son and I obviously have,
you know, friend relationshipsthat are really close and I
think for me it's.
(23:15):
I'll give you just a quickexample Devin little brother,
he's 13.
And you know I'll go hang outwith him just a couple times a
month.
I so I live 45 minutes away,right, but I'll make the
conscious effort to say hey, youknow I'm going to come just see
him, and he's one of theexamples of siblings.
(23:36):
But but because I've done thatover the past several this is
just very current situation,because I've done that for a
while He'll call me randomly,like FaceTime, like yesterday.
Let me give you an example ofthis, and I think this ties into
the overarching idea that Iwant to get across.
He FaceTimed me yesterdaybecause he knows that I love NF.
(23:59):
Okay, so my favorite artist ofall time.
Nf Devin knows that I love himand he started listening to NF
and yesterday he texted me.
He goes hey, I learned theentire lyrics to this song.
I can rap it and he's 13, right, so cool.
He said I learned the entiresong and I was like no way Right
(24:20):
.
And then he FaceTimed me.
He's like I want to show you.
He FaceTimed me and he puts onthe music and he wraps the
entire song.
I thought it was awesome, but Iwas like, well, why would he
have done that?
You know, and it really like itwas such a simple thing, but it
actually hit me pretty deep.
It made me think about thisprinciple of how can you
(24:42):
cultivate a family relationship,a friend relationship that is
so deep that person completelyand holistically just trusts you
and just loves you and viceversa.
Yeah Right, you're not in it toget something, you're not in it
to gain anything.
You're in it because you lovethem and they love you and
(25:06):
that's just.
You know, that's just how it is.
And I think when you put andagain, this is not a factor of
time, but when you put effort, Ithink it's a matter of effort.
When it is time, it's qualityover quantity here, right, right
, it's like he knows.
And same thing with my othersiblings, my sisters.
They know that I put in effort.
(25:28):
I'll send them a text.
Hey, just thinking about it.
I hope you're doing that.
Yeah, check-ins, I'll send thema song that I thought was
meaningful, and I've done this alot actually.
It's like, hey, this song mademe think of you.
It takes, see, and the time isirrelevant at that point, it's
just like just something that Ido and I'm not having to plan
this out through my day, I'm nothaving to sit down in my daily
(25:48):
planning session and say, okay,now 30 minutes to cultivate
family, really you know, yeah,you're not going to do it.
You're not going to map it outlike that.
No absolutely not.
You know, and I think when youcan transition from oh, I have
to have two hours at night tojust soul, you know, and
everything's different foreveryone, right, but for me what
(26:10):
I found the most effective isjust to say today, how can I be,
how can I show them effort?
And sometimes that does looklike I'm going to have two hours
tonight for them, I'm going toplan a three hour little outing
with them.
Sometimes it does incorporatetime, but I don't think time is
the leading factor.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I think you hit it right on the head that the
quality of what you're puttingout there is the key to it,
because we're talking aboutresults, guys.
We're not talking about 24hours in a day.
Okay, I'd have you considerthat you can accomplish 10 weeks
worth of work in a week ifyou're effective with the
(26:52):
delivery Right.
Okay, that could apply tobusiness.
It could apply to everythingwe're talking about In the
family scenario.
One concept that I live and dieby is if you're the person in
front of me, then by default,you're the most important person
in the world to me and I canlook you in the eyes, like I am,
(27:15):
and I can genuinely tell youright now, in this moment,
you're the most important personin the world to me.
Try that in a business meeting.
Try that with your wife, youguys.
Try that with your kids.
I mean, it applies toeverything when you can really
focus yourself on what Downeywas saying love, love is the
(27:39):
driver.
What can I contribute to thisinteraction?
It's little stuff.
It's looking someone in theeyes, it's being vulnerable,
it's authentic communicationWith five kids and raising kids
in the day and age that we're in, social media and cell phones
are a serious issue.
(28:01):
It's tough to get these girls toput the phone down, and social
media addiction is a real thing.
People really spend a lot oftime on this, but I've been
experimenting with fatherlytactics of maybe we should go to
dinner and put our phones inthe car and leave them in the
(28:23):
car so that we don't have that,because how annoying is it when
we're all sitting at PF Changsand everyone's got their phone
out, you see, these memes onsocial media.
It's like we're all zombies.
So, guys, it's just effort, butit's a conscious, focused,
targeted.
What do I want out of arelationship?
(28:45):
So another concept ROI we'regoing to talk about.
In the business sense of it,ROI stands for return on
investment and I'd have youconsider that the more
enlightened, the moreenlightened definition of that
is return on involvement.
(29:08):
So whatever I put into arelationship, it's likely I'll
get it back.
But I shouldn't have anexpectation on getting something
back.
I've got to be willing to jumpout of the plane with no net and
no guarantees that anythingcomes back to me.
So there's a real authenticlevel of a willingness to pour
into someone my love and mygenuine care for them, without
(29:33):
an expectation of some stringsattached.
And that's really criticalraising teenagers, because they
just don't typically reciprocate.
So for those of you guys thatare raising teenagers, just know
that most of the time I don'tget the instant gratification of
(29:54):
reciprocation With adults.
It's a quick path to buildingauthentic relationships when I
look someone in the eye and Ihave a meeting and I'm hugging
someone the first time I meetthem.
Those are things that areuncommon and it can be shocking
to some people, but as humans weall have these needs and
(30:19):
feeling loved and appreciated isa big one.
It's a big one.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So we're talking about communication, we're
talking about relationshipbuilding.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
These are all fundamentals.
So we've covered the body, thefitness, the family
relationships, the relationshipsin general, business.
I mean this all appliesExpansion.
I think I want to leave thelisteners with the prevailing
(30:49):
thought, the prevailing focus ofthis episode is that expansion
is an obligation.
In order for us to fulfill ourhighest possible version of
ourselves and fulfill ourobligation to God, then we must
expand in all of thesecategories to find that highest
(31:12):
version of ourselves.
So with that I think we wrap itup, guys.
We've covered a lot and lookforward to getting into the next
episode, but for now, hopefullyyou've got something to chew on
, hopefully you've got someactionable items to take home
with you, and we appreciate youguys tuning in to Aston
Incorporated.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.