January 24, 2024 • 17 mins
As a millennial, I've felt the sting of financial insecurity and the sense of duty to ensure my child isn't burdened with the same hardships. This episode is a deep and personal exploration into the world of financial literacy, where I open up about my journey through the tangled web of debt, and how I'm determined to give my daughter the financial freedom I had to fight for. I take an honest look at the generational cycle of financial struggles and the impact of parents' monetary decisions on their children.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
So in this content I get really real about parents
burdening their kids withfinancial struggles.
The whole point of this content.
I say everything to say that us, this generation, us
millennials we did not grow upwith good advice about finances,
about credit card debt, aboutstudent loans, about money.
(00:21):
We did not learn that.
We did not have the tools, theresources.
But now, since we're strugglingand a lot of start living
paycheck to paycheck and we arecurrently going through it right
now this right here, leaves agift.
Pain leaves a gift, povertyleaves a gift.
Adversity leaves a gift.
That is our lesson Us, asparents, that we're currently
(00:44):
going through financialstruggles.
That is a lesson that we'regoing through.
The biggest blessing of thisall we are supposed to teach our
kids, we are supposed toenforce our kids the resources,
the tools, the knowledge, thewisdom that we never had.
That's what we're supposed todo as parents.
If we are currently struggling,if we are living poverty, if
(01:07):
we're living financial struggles, if we have so much debt, we're
supposed to teach our kids.
We're supposed to show them theway.
We're supposed to pave them theway a life of greatness.
Because we went through it.
We're currently going throughit right now.
So us, as a mom, as a parent,as a father, we have to show our
(01:27):
kids that this is not normal.
I don't want my kids feelingpoverty.
I don't want my kids seeingthat I'm struggling, that I'm
going through financialstruggles, that I have trauma
because my parents could notteach me how to maintain my
money.
I want my kids to see wealth.
When I mean wealth, I meanfinancial freedom.
(01:47):
I want my kids to be exposed toopportunities.
I want my daughter to beexposed to new experiences.
I want my daughter to be inrooms that she thought she would
never be in because me, as hermom, I was very responsible and
I learned from my struggles.
Your lesson can get you to yourblessing.
Your lesson will be your kids'blessing.
(02:09):
You don't want your kids seeingpoverty.
You don't want your kids seeingstruggle.
We already seen that.
We've been through that.
We're currently going throughthat right now.
We got to do our best so thatour kids do not adapt to that
environment.
A lot of us did not follow ourgoals growing up because we
thought that that was not normal.
We thought that struggling wasnormal.
We thought that living paycheckto paycheck is normal.
(02:31):
I paved through this.
I paved the way for you as aparent, so that you can become
great, you can have a life ofabundance.
What a beautiful people forHaley's here.
So I really want to talk aboutthis because this has been
bothering me lately.
This right here stresses me theout.
It stresses me out y'all.
I really want to talk aboutthis because this has become the
(02:53):
new norm, especially for usmillennials.
But, parents, you got to stopputting your financial burdens
on your kids.
Parents, please stop puttingthe financial burden on your
kids.
I'm a mom, I'm a parent myself,but I see this so many freaking
times.
I see this within my family.
I see this outside of my family.
(03:15):
I see this with my friends, Isee this with people that I'm
really, really close to, and Isee a lot of kids just suffering
because they have their parentsfinancial burdens on their
shoulders.
It's essential, parents, forchildren to have the opportunity
to focus on their own financialwell-being and build a secure
future for themselves.
(03:35):
As parents, it is our job tounload so many pressure, unload
unnecessary weight for ourchildren, so our children can
prosper.
I know a lot of us arestruggling.
I know we are now all buildsfrom wealth.
I know a lot of us.
We were not builds with asilver spoon in our mouths.
But, parents, if you arestruggling right now, you are
(03:56):
living paycheck to paycheck.
You have so much debt that youowe.
Please don't pass that on toyour kids.
It is not fair to them.
That's not the life that theysigned up for.
They did not sign up to takecare of your debt and I see this
happening so many times.
As parents because I'm a mom weshould never put the burden on
our children, and I have to saythis because and I'm very
(04:19):
passionate about this topic isbecause within my own family, I
don't like to put my family'sbusiness out there, but my mom
and my father, they are happilymarried till this day they are
happily married.
And my parents, they go onvacation like five, six times a
year.
I don't care that they go onvacation.
The thing about it that bothersme is that my parents they
racked up so much credit carddebt because they are financing
(04:43):
their lifestyle.
At this point Now, my parentsare living way above their means
.
So when me and my sister, wesee the credit card statements
or we see overdue bills comingin the mail, that puts a burden
on me and my sister.
Me and my sister are the onessuffering in silence about this.
It's not fair for parents tolive a life of luxury that they
(05:04):
cannot afford at that moment.
As parents, we should want ourkids to do great in life.
We should want our kids to dobetter.
We should want nothing but thebest for our children, and we
are the ones who are blockingtheir blessings.
You know why?
Because our burdens wereputting it on to the next
generation.
Me.
When I graduated out of college, I took out two loans.
(05:24):
Until this day, right now, I amstill paying for it.
I'm about to have a five yearold daughter, but you know what?
I'm going to make sure thatwhen my daughter gets older, she
does not have to worry about mystudent loans.
My loans is not affecting her.
My credit card debt is notaffecting her.
I don't have credit card debt,but I have student loans.
And right now, as a mom, it ismy responsible that I pay off my
(05:48):
student loans so that when mydaughter wants to go to college
or she wants to apply for acredit card or whatever it is
that she wants to do, herblessings is not being blocked
because of my financial burdens.
Parents, I know it's hard tolive in this world right now.
I know that inflation is waytoo high.
I know that the economy is hardto make a living out of here.
(06:09):
I know especially if you'reliving in New York, you need
about three jobs to make endsmean.
I understand that we're allstruggling, maybe in different
areas, maybe around the samearea.
I understand that.
But I strongly am againstparents that put burdens on
their kids.
It's just not right.
Me as my parents' kids, me andmy sister, we are stressed out
(06:31):
because we are stressed out andwe be having anxiety.
Me and my sister, we talk aboutthis all the time.
Our parents owes this.
Our parents owes that, like,what are we going to do?
And as much as I try not to letit get to me, I feel like I am
responsible for that and Ishould never have to feel
responsible for that, becausethose are not my choices, those
are not the mistakes that I'vedone.
(06:51):
Those are my parents.
At the end of the day, I'mstill their child.
They are still my parents.
I should not be responsible fortwo grown adults.
I should not be responsible forthe decisions that they make.
They want to live above theirmeans and this is not just with
my family.
I see this so many times inother people's household,
especially my family, from whatI see outside of my household,
(07:14):
like other relatives, I see thishappening all the time.
The siblings they are takingcare of their mom because their
mom couldn't pay their rent.
Their mom has negligence onpaying credit card bills, the
parents are not up to date withtheir car notes, the parents are
not up to date with their rent.
The parents can't even affordto pay their rent.
And I have no situations whereI have friends that they had to
(07:34):
quit college and they had towork a second job just to help
their mom and their father paytheir own bills.
Listen, you do what you want todo in your household.
You do what you want to do withyour family.
I don't believe, as a parent,you should have your kids quit
college, quit following theirgoals, quit following their
dreams, because they have tohelp you out.
(07:55):
As a parent, you should haveall of that figured out before
your kids get older, before yourkids are even here.
You should try to at leastminimize as much debt, as much
bills, as you can as possible,because you do not want to live
a life owing money to thegovernment, owing money to
credit card companies, owingmoney to student loans, and your
(08:16):
child has to be the onesuffering behind that.
Me and my sister, we talk aboutthis all the time, and I owe
student loans, yes, but it is myjob to pay off my student loans
, not my daughter's job.
Not my daughter's job to beresponsible for my decisions
that I made when she wasn't here.
I want my daughter to prosper.
(08:38):
I want my daughter to have agreat future.
I want my daughter to grow upand not have so much burdens
that I had to go through.
Us, as parents, ourresponsibility, is that,
especially if you are strugglingor if you are in poverty or you
are living paycheck to paycheck, I believe that the struggles
that you are going throughyou're supposed to learn from me
, grow from me, evolve from meand teach your children and
(09:01):
enforce them not to do the samemistakes that you did.
I rather pave the way for mydaughter.
I rather struggle, livepaycheck to paycheck, before my
daughter has to struggle, livepaycheck to paycheck, because
I'm learning from my mistakes,I'm learning from my decisions,
I'm becoming wiser from thechoices that I've made, and I
refuse for my daughter to gothrough what I had to go through
(09:22):
.
I refuse to pass on thatgenerational trauma to my kids.
Parents, whatever financialstruggles that you are going
through, teach your children tomake wiser decisions.
It's okay if you have financialstruggles right now, but it's
not okay for your children tothink that this is normal and
they repeat the same cycle tothe next generation.
You don't ever want to do thatas a parent.
(09:44):
You don't ever want yourchildren to think that to be in
credit card debt, to owe studentloans, to owe money for the
rest of your life, to struggle,to be in poverty, to have a
limited mindset, that affectsyour children later down the
road.
I know people that they had toquit college, that they had to
work multiple jobs just to helptheir parents out those friends
(10:04):
of mine.
They have resentment.
They have so much anger towardstheir families because their
family didn't make the rightdecisions when they knew they
should have done better.
They knew that they should havedone better and now that they
have these kids getting olderand helping them out and
becoming a little bit moreindependent, the burden fall on
these kids' shoulders and it'snot fair.
It's not right.
You should want your kids tohave nothing but greatness,
(10:28):
nothing blocking their blessings.
Some kids they feel obligated.
Me and my sister, we feelobligated to help our parents
because we don't ever want ourparents to suffer.
But what is that doing for meand my sister?
That's kind of taken away fromminds and my sister's future and
our kids, because me and mysister we always want to do
right by our family.
(10:48):
We never want our family tosuffer.
But if me and my sister gotother bills to take care of and
we got kids and we got ourapartments, we got our homes to
take care of, that puts onmental pressure.
That puts on so much load on meand my sister.
And I'm speaking about myfamily because I want to be a
little bit personal, I don'twant to put my family's business
(11:09):
out there, but this is thetruth.
This is the truth and this isexactly what's going on.
Being in debt is becoming thenew norm, especially for a lot
of families, and it's becomingso normalized that the next
generation is taking care of it,that the next generation has
this burden of taking care oftheir parents or their
grandparents, theirresponsibility.
(11:30):
How do you want your kids to dogreat when they already have
unnecessary burdens from yourmistakes.
That's something that you haveto do as a parent.
You got to make sure that whileyou're struggling in the
process, while you're trying tomake ends meet, while you're
trying to Pay your bills, thatyour child don't think that
that's normal, that you showyour child listen.
(11:51):
I went through the struggle andnow I came out of it and I
learned from my decisions, andthis is not something that I
want you to do.
I don't want you to repeat mymistakes.
Instead, I want you to do this.
I want you to do better, I wantyou to elevate.
I don't want you to go throughwhat I went through.
I paved the way for you, foryou to know that there's better
opportunities.
Our kids should never have tosuffer.
(12:13):
Our kids should never have toquit their goals, should never
have to quit their dreamsbecause they have the pressure,
they have the mental load, theyhave the stress, they have the
anxiety, they have thedepression of taking care of
their parents, financialresponsibilities or, let's say,
you even have credit card bills.
Let's say you have so much debt.
You want to make sure that whenyour kids get older and they
(12:36):
want to apply for a credit cardor they want to lease a car, or
they want to lease somethingthat is valuable to them so that
they can build up their credit.
You want to make sure that youare not blocking their blessings
.
If you know you owe money tocertain companies.
If you have children that istrying to apply for a credit
card because they want to buildup their credit, the credit card
company is going to say I'msorry we got to decline you
(12:58):
because that household owes memoney.
You are blocking theirblessings.
I know we don't have it easy.
I know we don't.
I know we're struggling.
I know some of us right nowwe're working two to three jobs
just to make it.
I understand that it's hard.
It's hard.
I've seen my grandmotherstruggle.
I've been seeing my grandmastruggle since I was young.
Since I was young, I've beenseeing this lady struggle.
(13:20):
A lot of my grandmother's kidsare always stressed out.
I've seen my mom being stressedout because my grandmother she
was very negligent with some ofher bills.
There was moments where me andother cousins we had to come
together to make sure that herbills were paid, that she was
doing okay.
But as a parent me I'm 29,.
(13:41):
I'm about to be 30 years old.
I have a young daughter.
I can never put my daughterthrough that because I know how
that feels.
I know how it feels to watchyour parents make reckless
financial decisions and even ifit's not reckless, even if it
was something that they had todo, I see the burdens that it
created for the kids.
Your kids are never going towant to follow their goals
(14:02):
because they have to take careof you and your financial issues
.
Your kids starts to becomehaving a limited mindset where
they think that this is normal.
It stops them from being great,it stops them from elevating it
.
But helping you, sometimes itdamages them.
It damages their mindset.
It messes up their future.
I know our kids are going tohave some type of trauma growing
(14:25):
up.
That is something that is veryinevitable.
But if you can control thedecisions you make so it does
not affect your kids, then do it.
That's what you're supposed todo as a parent.
You should control thedecisions that you make so that
your child doesn't be blockedfrom their greatness.
And again, I'm not trying to bea bitch, I'm not trying to be
(14:47):
mean.
I'm giving you all my advicebecause I see this happening so
much.
This is becoming so normal andit's not just in my family.
I've seen this with friendships.
I've seen this with otherrelatives.
When you are paying for yourparents' mistakes, you do not
have peace, and when you don'thave peace, your mental health
is at risk.
When you don't have peace, yourmental health is at risk.
(15:09):
I told my sister if I can helpsomeone else out there, if I
could give advice.
My advice is, as you growing upteenagers, or you in your early
20s or anyone right now, ifyour parents are healthy and
they're alive, they have theability to work.
Focus on you right now, focuson your future, focus on your
kids, focus on your household,focus on you becoming great.
(15:32):
Don't let no one block yourblessings no family, no friends.
Be great first and while you'rein the process of being where
you want to be, if you want tohelp them, you can help them,
but you can't help someone thatdoes not want to help themselves
and you can't help other peoplewhen you know you got to put
yourself first and you know yougot to climb up the ladder and
you know you got to get to whereyou want to be.
(15:54):
It's already hard out here.
It's not fair for you as theadult or as the child, because a
lot of us are adults alreadybut we're still the kids
suffering from this.
It's just not fair for you totake out of food, to take out of
money out of your kids pocketsor out of your kids bank account
and you are struggling becauseyour parents are struggling.
(16:14):
It's not fair.
So if this is where you atright now, put you in your
household, put your kids firstand then, if you want to help
your family out, you can helpyour family out, but you don't
suffer because your family issuffering.
Don't put that burden on yourkids and don't show your kids
that that is okay, because us,as kids, we feel energy.
We feel it.
We feel when things are notgoing right.
(16:35):
We know when our mom is nothappy, we know when our dad is
not happy.
We know when our parents arestruggling financially.
Your kids need you to be good.
Your kids need you to be okay.
Your kids need you to be fine.
Our kids are going to shape thefuture and if we want our kids
to be great, we got to be great.
If you like this content, shareyour thoughts.
(16:56):
Just share your thoughts.
If you made it this far in myvideo.
Just share your thoughts.
Tell me how you relate to thistopic.
Tell me if you're currentlygoing through this right now.
So in this content I get really real about parents
burdening their kids withfinancial struggles.
The whole point of this content.
I say everything to say that us, this generation, us
millennials we did not grow upwith good advice about finances,
about credit card debt, aboutstudent loans, about money.
(00:21):
We did not learn that.
We did not have the tools, theresources.
But now, since we're strugglingand a lot of start living
paycheck to paycheck and we arecurrently going through it right
now this right here, leaves agift.
Pain leaves a gift, povertyleaves a gift.
Adversity leaves a gift.
That is our lesson Us, asparents, that we're currently
(00:44):
going through financialstruggles.
That is a lesson that we'regoing through.
The biggest blessing of thisall we are supposed to teach our
kids, we are supposed toenforce our kids the resources,
the tools, the knowledge, thewisdom that we never had.
That's what we're supposed todo as parents.
If we are currently struggling,if we are living poverty, if
(01:07):
we're living financial struggles, if we have so much debt, we're
supposed to teach our kids.
We're supposed to show them theway.
We're supposed to pave them theway a life of greatness.
Because we went through it.
We're currently going throughit right now.
So us, as a mom, as a parent,as a father, we have to show our
(01:27):
kids that this is not normal.
I don't want my kids feelingpoverty.
I don't want my kids seeingthat I'm struggling, that I'm
going through financialstruggles, that I have trauma
because my parents could notteach me how to maintain my
money.
I want my kids to see wealth.
When I mean wealth, I meanfinancial freedom.
(01:47):
I want my kids to be exposed toopportunities.
I want my daughter to beexposed to new experiences.
I want my daughter to be inrooms that she thought she would
never be in because me, as hermom, I was very responsible and
I learned from my struggles.
Your lesson can get you to yourblessing.
Your lesson will be your kids'blessing.
(02:09):
You don't want your kids seeingpoverty.
You don't want your kids seeingstruggle.
We already seen that.
We've been through that.
We're currently going throughthat right now.
We got to do our best so thatour kids do not adapt to that
environment.
A lot of us did not follow ourgoals growing up because we
thought that that was not normal.
We thought that struggling wasnormal.
We thought that living paycheckto paycheck is normal.
(02:31):
I paved through this.
I paved the way for you as aparent, so that you can become
great, you can have a life ofabundance.
What a beautiful people forHaley's here.
So I really want to talk aboutthis because this has been
bothering me lately.
This right here stresses me theout.
It stresses me out y'all.
I really want to talk aboutthis because this has become the
(02:53):
new norm, especially for usmillennials.
But, parents, you got to stopputting your financial burdens
on your kids.
Parents, please stop puttingthe financial burden on your
kids.
I'm a mom, I'm a parent myself,but I see this so many freaking
times.
I see this within my family.
I see this outside of my family.
(03:15):
I see this with my friends, Isee this with people that I'm
really, really close to, and Isee a lot of kids just suffering
because they have their parentsfinancial burdens on their
shoulders.
It's essential, parents, forchildren to have the opportunity
to focus on their own financialwell-being and build a secure
future for themselves.
(03:35):
As parents, it is our job tounload so many pressure, unload
unnecessary weight for ourchildren, so our children can
prosper.
I know a lot of us arestruggling.
I know we are now all buildsfrom wealth.
I know a lot of us.
We were not builds with asilver spoon in our mouths.
But, parents, if you arestruggling right now, you are
(03:56):
living paycheck to paycheck.
You have so much debt that youowe.
Please don't pass that on toyour kids.
It is not fair to them.
That's not the life that theysigned up for.
They did not sign up to takecare of your debt and I see this
happening so many times.
As parents because I'm a mom weshould never put the burden on
our children, and I have to saythis because and I'm very
(04:19):
passionate about this topic isbecause within my own family, I
don't like to put my family'sbusiness out there, but my mom
and my father, they are happilymarried till this day they are
happily married.
And my parents, they go onvacation like five, six times a
year.
I don't care that they go onvacation.
The thing about it that bothersme is that my parents they
racked up so much credit carddebt because they are financing
(04:43):
their lifestyle.
At this point Now, my parentsare living way above their means
.
So when me and my sister, wesee the credit card statements
or we see overdue bills comingin the mail, that puts a burden
on me and my sister.
Me and my sister are the onessuffering in silence about this.
It's not fair for parents tolive a life of luxury that they
(05:04):
cannot afford at that moment.
As parents, we should want ourkids to do great in life.
We should want our kids to dobetter.
We should want nothing but thebest for our children, and we
are the ones who are blockingtheir blessings.
You know why?
Because our burdens wereputting it on to the next
generation.
Me.
When I graduated out of college, I took out two loans.
(05:24):
Until this day, right now, I amstill paying for it.
I'm about to have a five yearold daughter, but you know what?
I'm going to make sure thatwhen my daughter gets older, she
does not have to worry about mystudent loans.
My loans is not affecting her.
My credit card debt is notaffecting her.
I don't have credit card debt,but I have student loans.
And right now, as a mom, it ismy responsible that I pay off my
(05:48):
student loans so that when mydaughter wants to go to college
or she wants to apply for acredit card or whatever it is
that she wants to do, herblessings is not being blocked
because of my financial burdens.
Parents, I know it's hard tolive in this world right now.
I know that inflation is waytoo high.
I know that the economy is hardto make a living out of here.
(06:09):
I know especially if you'reliving in New York, you need
about three jobs to make endsmean.
I understand that we're allstruggling, maybe in different
areas, maybe around the samearea.
I understand that.
But I strongly am againstparents that put burdens on
their kids.
It's just not right.
Me as my parents' kids, me andmy sister, we are stressed out
(06:31):
because we are stressed out andwe be having anxiety.
Me and my sister, we talk aboutthis all the time.
Our parents owes this.
Our parents owes that, like,what are we going to do?
And as much as I try not to letit get to me, I feel like I am
responsible for that and Ishould never have to feel
responsible for that, becausethose are not my choices, those
are not the mistakes that I'vedone.
(06:51):
Those are my parents.
At the end of the day, I'mstill their child.
They are still my parents.
I should not be responsible fortwo grown adults.
I should not be responsible forthe decisions that they make.
They want to live above theirmeans and this is not just with
my family.
I see this so many times inother people's household,
especially my family, from whatI see outside of my household,
(07:14):
like other relatives, I see thishappening all the time.
The siblings they are takingcare of their mom because their
mom couldn't pay their rent.
Their mom has negligence onpaying credit card bills, the
parents are not up to date withtheir car notes, the parents are
not up to date with their rent.
The parents can't even affordto pay their rent.
And I have no situations whereI have friends that they had to
(07:34):
quit college and they had towork a second job just to help
their mom and their father paytheir own bills.
Listen, you do what you want todo in your household.
You do what you want to do withyour family.
I don't believe, as a parent,you should have your kids quit
college, quit following theirgoals, quit following their
dreams, because they have tohelp you out.
(07:55):
As a parent, you should haveall of that figured out before
your kids get older, before yourkids are even here.
You should try to at leastminimize as much debt, as much
bills, as you can as possible,because you do not want to live
a life owing money to thegovernment, owing money to
credit card companies, owingmoney to student loans, and your
(08:16):
child has to be the onesuffering behind that.
Me and my sister, we talk aboutthis all the time, and I owe
student loans, yes, but it is myjob to pay off my student loans
, not my daughter's job.
Not my daughter's job to beresponsible for my decisions
that I made when she wasn't here.
I want my daughter to prosper.
(08:38):
I want my daughter to have agreat future.
I want my daughter to grow upand not have so much burdens
that I had to go through.
Us, as parents, ourresponsibility, is that,
especially if you are strugglingor if you are in poverty or you
are living paycheck to paycheck, I believe that the struggles
that you are going throughyou're supposed to learn from me
, grow from me, evolve from meand teach your children and
(09:01):
enforce them not to do the samemistakes that you did.
I rather pave the way for mydaughter.
I rather struggle, livepaycheck to paycheck, before my
daughter has to struggle, livepaycheck to paycheck, because
I'm learning from my mistakes,I'm learning from my decisions,
I'm becoming wiser from thechoices that I've made, and I
refuse for my daughter to gothrough what I had to go through
(09:22):
.
I refuse to pass on thatgenerational trauma to my kids.
Parents, whatever financialstruggles that you are going
through, teach your children tomake wiser decisions.
It's okay if you have financialstruggles right now, but it's
not okay for your children tothink that this is normal and
they repeat the same cycle tothe next generation.
You don't ever want to do thatas a parent.
(09:44):
You don't ever want yourchildren to think that to be in
credit card debt, to owe studentloans, to owe money for the
rest of your life, to struggle,to be in poverty, to have a
limited mindset, that affectsyour children later down the
road.
I know people that they had toquit college, that they had to
work multiple jobs just to helptheir parents out those friends
(10:04):
of mine.
They have resentment.
They have so much anger towardstheir families because their
family didn't make the rightdecisions when they knew they
should have done better.
They knew that they should havedone better and now that they
have these kids getting olderand helping them out and
becoming a little bit moreindependent, the burden fall on
these kids' shoulders and it'snot fair.
It's not right.
You should want your kids tohave nothing but greatness,
(10:28):
nothing blocking their blessings.
Some kids they feel obligated.
Me and my sister, we feelobligated to help our parents
because we don't ever want ourparents to suffer.
But what is that doing for meand my sister?
That's kind of taken away fromminds and my sister's future and
our kids, because me and mysister we always want to do
right by our family.
(10:48):
We never want our family tosuffer.
But if me and my sister gotother bills to take care of and
we got kids and we got ourapartments, we got our homes to
take care of, that puts onmental pressure.
That puts on so much load on meand my sister.
And I'm speaking about myfamily because I want to be a
little bit personal, I don'twant to put my family's business
(11:09):
out there, but this is thetruth.
This is the truth and this isexactly what's going on.
Being in debt is becoming thenew norm, especially for a lot
of families, and it's becomingso normalized that the next
generation is taking care of it,that the next generation has
this burden of taking care oftheir parents or their
grandparents, theirresponsibility.
(11:30):
How do you want your kids to dogreat when they already have
unnecessary burdens from yourmistakes.
That's something that you haveto do as a parent.
You got to make sure that whileyou're struggling in the
process, while you're trying tomake ends meet, while you're
trying to Pay your bills, thatyour child don't think that
that's normal, that you showyour child listen.
(11:51):
I went through the struggle andnow I came out of it and I
learned from my decisions, andthis is not something that I
want you to do.
I don't want you to repeat mymistakes.
Instead, I want you to do this.
I want you to do better, I wantyou to elevate.
I don't want you to go throughwhat I went through.
I paved the way for you, foryou to know that there's better
opportunities.
Our kids should never have tosuffer.
(12:13):
Our kids should never have toquit their goals, should never
have to quit their dreamsbecause they have the pressure,
they have the mental load, theyhave the stress, they have the
anxiety, they have thedepression of taking care of
their parents, financialresponsibilities or, let's say,
you even have credit card bills.
Let's say you have so much debt.
You want to make sure that whenyour kids get older and they
(12:36):
want to apply for a credit cardor they want to lease a car, or
they want to lease somethingthat is valuable to them so that
they can build up their credit.
You want to make sure that youare not blocking their blessings
.
If you know you owe money tocertain companies.
If you have children that istrying to apply for a credit
card because they want to buildup their credit, the credit card
company is going to say I'msorry we got to decline you
(12:58):
because that household owes memoney.
You are blocking theirblessings.
I know we don't have it easy.
I know we don't.
I know we're struggling.
I know some of us right nowwe're working two to three jobs
just to make it.
I understand that it's hard.
It's hard.
I've seen my grandmotherstruggle.
I've been seeing my grandmastruggle since I was young.
Since I was young, I've beenseeing this lady struggle.
(13:20):
A lot of my grandmother's kidsare always stressed out.
I've seen my mom being stressedout because my grandmother she
was very negligent with some ofher bills.
There was moments where me andother cousins we had to come
together to make sure that herbills were paid, that she was
doing okay.
But as a parent me I'm 29,.
(13:41):
I'm about to be 30 years old.
I have a young daughter.
I can never put my daughterthrough that because I know how
that feels.
I know how it feels to watchyour parents make reckless
financial decisions and even ifit's not reckless, even if it
was something that they had todo, I see the burdens that it
created for the kids.
Your kids are never going towant to follow their goals
(14:02):
because they have to take careof you and your financial issues
.
Your kids starts to becomehaving a limited mindset where
they think that this is normal.
It stops them from being great,it stops them from elevating it
.
But helping you, sometimes itdamages them.
It damages their mindset.
It messes up their future.
I know our kids are going tohave some type of trauma growing
(14:25):
up.
That is something that is veryinevitable.
But if you can control thedecisions you make so it does
not affect your kids, then do it.
That's what you're supposed todo as a parent.
You should control thedecisions that you make so that
your child doesn't be blockedfrom their greatness.
And again, I'm not trying to bea bitch, I'm not trying to be
(14:47):
mean.
I'm giving you all my advicebecause I see this happening so
much.
This is becoming so normal andit's not just in my family.
I've seen this with friendships.
I've seen this with otherrelatives.
When you are paying for yourparents' mistakes, you do not
have peace, and when you don'thave peace, your mental health
is at risk.
When you don't have peace, yourmental health is at risk.
(15:09):
I told my sister if I can helpsomeone else out there, if I
could give advice.
My advice is, as you growing upteenagers, or you in your early
20s or anyone right now, ifyour parents are healthy and
they're alive, they have theability to work.
Focus on you right now, focuson your future, focus on your
kids, focus on your household,focus on you becoming great.
(15:32):
Don't let no one block yourblessings no family, no friends.
Be great first and while you'rein the process of being where
you want to be, if you want tohelp them, you can help them,
but you can't help someone thatdoes not want to help themselves
and you can't help other peoplewhen you know you got to put
yourself first and you know yougot to climb up the ladder and
you know you got to get to whereyou want to be.
(15:54):
It's already hard out here.
It's not fair for you as theadult or as the child, because a
lot of us are adults alreadybut we're still the kids
suffering from this.
It's just not fair for you totake out of food, to take out of
money out of your kids pocketsor out of your kids bank account
and you are struggling becauseyour parents are struggling.
(16:14):
It's not fair.
So if this is where you atright now, put you in your
household, put your kids firstand then, if you want to help
your family out, you can helpyour family out, but you don't
suffer because your family issuffering.
Don't put that burden on yourkids and don't show your kids
that that is okay, because us,as kids, we feel energy.
We feel it.
We feel when things are notgoing right.
(16:35):
We know when our mom is nothappy, we know when our dad is
not happy.
We know when our parents arestruggling financially.
Your kids need you to be good.
Your kids need you to be okay.
Your kids need you to be fine.
Our kids are going to shape thefuture and if we want our kids
to be great, we got to be great.
If you like this content, shareyour thoughts.
(16:56):
Just share your thoughts.
If you made it this far in myvideo.
Just share your thoughts.
Tell me how you relate to thistopic.
Tell me if you're currentlygoing through this right now.
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