September 17, 2024 • 9 mins
What if the very people you trust with your dreams are the ones holding you back? In this eye-opening episode, I explore how toxic relationships—be with family, friends, —can stifle your ambitions and impede your personal growth. Remember, it's never too late to choose your well-being. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more empowering insights on personal growth and achieving your dreams.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
If you really want to kill a dream, you really want
to mess up your goals, tell itto someone who's very
small-minded.
You know how you really mess upyour goals in life is being
around people that you know.
You know you should haveoutgrew a long time ago.
It's being around people thatkeeps you stuck.
It's boxing yourself in into anenvironment that do not serve
(00:20):
you, that does not serve yourhighest good.
Is settling for less becauseyou think that there's nothing
better out there.
I really feel like fear keepsus stuck.
It's so normalized to stay inrelationships or even
friendships or to be aroundtoxic family members because a
lot of people have that fear notmeeting new people, of not
(00:41):
attracting somebody that theywant.
You pay a price for settlingfor less.
You pay a price for settlingfor less.
You pay a price for beingaround toxic environments that
no longer serve you, or you paya price just by being around
people where you feel like youdon't fit in, where you feel
like you are minimizing who youare.
Forget about trying to fit in.
How about you stand out?
(01:01):
I'd rather be by myself, right,and have so much peace in my
life and not block my blessingsand have amazing opportunities
come to me and have so much goodin my life than be around
people that I know is not goingto serve me.
If you want to kill a dream,I'm telling you.
Tell it to someone who's verysmall minded.
Tell it to someone who's verybitter, tell it to someone who
(01:23):
regret not going after theirgoals, not going after their
dreams.
This is why I truly believe inwhen you have things that you
are trying to obtain in yourlife, whether it's a dream, it's
a plan, it's a vision, whateverit is, I truly believe that you
just got to keep it to yourself.
You've got to keep the silence.
You do not need to be tellingeverybody One, it's nobody's
business.
(01:43):
Two, that's between you and God, that's not between you and
everybody else.
And also, once you're alreadytelling people your goals and
your vision, it's like a lot ofpeople are not going to believe
in you because they don'tbelieve in themselves, and a lot
of people out here they alreadygave up on their goals.
So what you think that they'regoing to do to you, they're
going to project their owninsecurities onto you.
(02:03):
I remember I was around a familymember the other day and I was
just having a conversation withhim on the phone.
I'm not going to lie, thisperson has like a dark mentality
, meaning like he went throughso much things in his life to
the point where he just doesn'tbelieve in hope, he doesn't
believe in faith.
And that kind of personality,that kind of um energy was just,
(02:26):
it was just putting a darkcloud over me.
You know, and I really lovethis person, but this is the
kind of person that doesn't takeaccountability or
responsibility for their actionsand they, they will never grow
up and they will never change.
And I'm telling you, thisperson is way, way, way above my
age.
You know, this person is intheir 50s.
But when you talk to like familymembers, or when you talk to
(02:49):
people that are just such in adark state of mind, or people
that just don't believe inthemselves, or people that just
you know they don't have joy orthey don't have peace, anything
that comes out of their mouth isalways something negative.
It's always something that'sgoing to put you down.
Being around people like thisis always going to minimize who
(03:10):
you are.
You're never going to want tofeel yourself.
You're always going to feellike you have to be a version of
yourself that can resonate withthem.
Because if you're around peopleand you want to talk about your
goals, you want to talk aboutthat.
You want to do better in life.
You want to talk about that.
You, you want to be the bestversion of you, that you want to
level up, that you want toelevate.
You know they're not going tobe happy for you, they're not
going to give you that positive,um energy, they're not going to
(03:31):
uplift you.
You know they're going toalways try to tear you down.
So that's why I always believethat if you want to kill your
dream, your and you shrinkyourself being around other
people.
That's how you kill a dream.
Instead, like, remove yourselffrom things that do not serve
you.
And I'm gonna just start tryingto know if you guys got like
toxic family or you guys gotpeople in your life that you
(03:53):
can't really get rid of themlike that, because y'all related
to them or y'all work with them.
There is a thing where you dohave to keep your distance.
You can keep your distance.
There is a thing calledboundaries and I truly, truly,
truly believe in boundaries.
I don't believe in just becauseyou're related to people, just
because you know them your wholelife.
(04:14):
I don't believe in the historygot to keep you in the misery.
I don't believe in havingunconditional love for people
that do not want the best foryou, that does not uplift you,
that does not want to see youdoing well in life.
I truly don't believe in that.
I feel like I don't care if I'mrelated to you.
I don't care if I've known youfor so many years.
I don't care if we have historytogether.
(04:36):
I'm not going to be miserablebecause of you.
I feel like nowadays, a lot ofpeople, a lot of y'all, got to
just put yourselves first.
Stop putting these friendshipsbefore y'all If these
friendships is not serving you.
Stop trying to minimizeyourself for who you are.
If you are a person and youwant to do something in your
life and you want to do aspecific thing in your life and
you want to go about it acertain way and the people that
(04:58):
are around you they don'tresonate, they don't really
understand, then keep yourdistance Doesn't mean that you
got to have drama with them.
Does not mean that you got tocut them off.
But what are these people doingto inspire you, to motivate you
Instead?
These are the kind of peopleand environment that's going to
distract you from your purpose.
They're going to distract youfrom your mission, from your
(05:18):
goals, and that's why I'm sayingif you want to kill your goals,
be around people where you knowyou don't fit in.
That kind of environment isreally going to hurt you.
I had to remove myself fromcertain friendships because I
just got tired of being aroundfemales that all they do is
complain, make excuses, bebitter.
(05:38):
I just can't stand that energy.
I understand we're goingthrough dark times.
I understand life is hard.
I understand we're all in thestruggle like, trust me, I
understand.
But to keep complaining aboutit, keep making excuses about it
, like that energy really drainsme, it really like stresses me
out.
And then I'm the type of personwhere I carry people's burdens,
you know, and I lose sleep atnight because of it.
(06:00):
So when you truly be yourselfand you choose yourself,
everything else will choose youtoo.
And when you are livingauthentically, you being
genuinely yourself, you freeyourself from so many burdens.
You free yourself from thingsthat are so unnecessary in your
life.
You know it's like Godseparates you from things that
should not be in your path.
It's like God separates youfrom things that should not be
(06:20):
in your path, and that's justwhat it is.
He transitions you to somethingthat is better for you, to
something that is greater foryou, or even people that is
better for you, people that aregoing to help you in your path,
people that are going to inspireyou, people that are going to
help you move to the next level.
I just feel like a lot of theproblems that people have
nowadays being distracted, notbeing themselves, not feeling
(06:44):
free is because of theenvironment that they surround
themselves in.
And I am here to tell you like,stop following the crowd.
This is a time for you whereyou kind of got to be selfish,
where you got to put yourselffirst, where you got to put your
mental health and yourpriorities Number one, like no
(07:05):
friendship.
No other family member besidesyour kids can go before that.
If you really have goals andyou really have vision, don't
let anybody distract you fromthat, because you're the one
who's going to be living inregret and resentment later.
You know you're the one who'sgoing to be bitter about it
later.
When you wasted all this time.
You know following people thatyou should have been left go a
long time ago.
When god wants to bless you.
That blessing is just for you.
(07:26):
It's not for the people aroundyou, it's not for your friends,
it's not for your significantother, it's not for your family,
it's not for your neighbors,it's not for your co-workers
like sometimes, that blessing isjust for you.
When you want to take everybodyalong with you, you block your
blessings.
You miss out on what God hasgot for you, because that was
just meant for you, not foranybody else.
(07:47):
So, instead of shrinkingyourself, instead of minimizing
yourself, following the crowd,doing what everybody else is
doing, put yourself first,choose you.
And, like I said, I've beenthere.
I've been there before when I'mjust hanging around people and
I'm just like, why, why am Ihere?
Like, why do I subject myselfto this?
Like, why do I allow this?
You get treated the way thatyou are allowed to be treated.
(08:09):
Life hands you what you give.
What you give is what you getyou around toxic people.
You're going to get toxicenergy back.
You're not doing enough on yourpart and you're going to see
why the results that you wantednever came through.
You got to just start lockingin on your goals and on your
dreams.
It's never too late to get backto you.
It's never too late to chooseyourself.
(08:30):
Don't ever limit your potential.
Don't ever box yourself in.
I've noticed that when I let goof certain relationships in my
life or friendships that even Ijust outgrew, it was never a
loss, it was just all a lessonlearned.
These people had to leave outof my life so I can grow, so I
can evolve, and maybe vice versa.
Maybe you gotta leave certainpeople's life.
(08:50):
If you're the one who's reallytrying to get things done,
you're the one who's matureheaded, you're the one who's
more wise.
You just gotta let these peoplego, because they need to learn
how to grow without you.
And I hope you guys like thiscontent and if you did, please
like comment and subscribe andI'll be back for more videos.
If you really want to kill a dream, you really want
to mess up your goals, tell itto someone who's very
small-minded.
You know how you really mess upyour goals in life is being
around people that you know.
You know you should haveoutgrew a long time ago.
It's being around people thatkeeps you stuck.
It's boxing yourself in into anenvironment that do not serve
(00:20):
you, that does not serve yourhighest good.
Is settling for less becauseyou think that there's nothing
better out there.
I really feel like fear keepsus stuck.
It's so normalized to stay inrelationships or even
friendships or to be aroundtoxic family members because a
lot of people have that fear notmeeting new people, of not
(00:41):
attracting somebody that theywant.
You pay a price for settlingfor less.
You pay a price for settlingfor less.
You pay a price for beingaround toxic environments that
no longer serve you, or you paya price just by being around
people where you feel like youdon't fit in, where you feel
like you are minimizing who youare.
Forget about trying to fit in.
How about you stand out?
(01:01):
I'd rather be by myself, right,and have so much peace in my
life and not block my blessingsand have amazing opportunities
come to me and have so much goodin my life than be around
people that I know is not goingto serve me.
If you want to kill a dream,I'm telling you.
Tell it to someone who's verysmall minded.
Tell it to someone who's verybitter, tell it to someone who
(01:23):
regret not going after theirgoals, not going after their
dreams.
This is why I truly believe inwhen you have things that you
are trying to obtain in yourlife, whether it's a dream, it's
a plan, it's a vision, whateverit is, I truly believe that you
just got to keep it to yourself.
You've got to keep the silence.
You do not need to be tellingeverybody One, it's nobody's
business.
(01:43):
Two, that's between you and God, that's not between you and
everybody else.
And also, once you're alreadytelling people your goals and
your vision, it's like a lot ofpeople are not going to believe
in you because they don'tbelieve in themselves, and a lot
of people out here they alreadygave up on their goals.
So what you think that they'regoing to do to you, they're
going to project their owninsecurities onto you.
(02:03):
I remember I was around a familymember the other day and I was
just having a conversation withhim on the phone.
I'm not going to lie, thisperson has like a dark mentality
, meaning like he went throughso much things in his life to
the point where he just doesn'tbelieve in hope, he doesn't
believe in faith.
And that kind of personality,that kind of um energy was just,
(02:26):
it was just putting a darkcloud over me.
You know, and I really lovethis person, but this is the
kind of person that doesn't takeaccountability or
responsibility for their actionsand they, they will never grow
up and they will never change.
And I'm telling you, thisperson is way, way, way above my
age.
You know, this person is intheir 50s.
But when you talk to like familymembers, or when you talk to
(02:49):
people that are just such in adark state of mind, or people
that just don't believe inthemselves, or people that just
you know they don't have joy orthey don't have peace, anything
that comes out of their mouth isalways something negative.
It's always something that'sgoing to put you down.
Being around people like thisis always going to minimize who
(03:10):
you are.
You're never going to want tofeel yourself.
You're always going to feellike you have to be a version of
yourself that can resonate withthem.
Because if you're around peopleand you want to talk about your
goals, you want to talk aboutthat.
You want to do better in life.
You want to talk about that.
You, you want to be the bestversion of you, that you want to
level up, that you want toelevate.
You know they're not going tobe happy for you, they're not
going to give you that positive,um energy, they're not going to
(03:31):
uplift you.
You know they're going toalways try to tear you down.
So that's why I always believethat if you want to kill your
dream, your and you shrinkyourself being around other
people.
That's how you kill a dream.
Instead, like, remove yourselffrom things that do not serve
you.
And I'm gonna just start tryingto know if you guys got like
toxic family or you guys gotpeople in your life that you
(03:53):
can't really get rid of themlike that, because y'all related
to them or y'all work with them.
There is a thing where you dohave to keep your distance.
You can keep your distance.
There is a thing calledboundaries and I truly, truly,
truly believe in boundaries.
I don't believe in just becauseyou're related to people, just
because you know them your wholelife.
(04:14):
I don't believe in the historygot to keep you in the misery.
I don't believe in havingunconditional love for people
that do not want the best foryou, that does not uplift you,
that does not want to see youdoing well in life.
I truly don't believe in that.
I feel like I don't care if I'mrelated to you.
I don't care if I've known youfor so many years.
I don't care if we have historytogether.
(04:36):
I'm not going to be miserablebecause of you.
I feel like nowadays, a lot ofpeople, a lot of y'all, got to
just put yourselves first.
Stop putting these friendshipsbefore y'all If these
friendships is not serving you.
Stop trying to minimizeyourself for who you are.
If you are a person and youwant to do something in your
life and you want to do aspecific thing in your life and
you want to go about it acertain way and the people that
(04:58):
are around you they don'tresonate, they don't really
understand, then keep yourdistance Doesn't mean that you
got to have drama with them.
Does not mean that you got tocut them off.
But what are these people doingto inspire you, to motivate you
Instead?
These are the kind of peopleand environment that's going to
distract you from your purpose.
They're going to distract youfrom your mission, from your
(05:18):
goals, and that's why I'm sayingif you want to kill your goals,
be around people where you knowyou don't fit in.
That kind of environment isreally going to hurt you.
I had to remove myself fromcertain friendships because I
just got tired of being aroundfemales that all they do is
complain, make excuses, bebitter.
(05:38):
I just can't stand that energy.
I understand we're goingthrough dark times.
I understand life is hard.
I understand we're all in thestruggle like, trust me, I
understand.
But to keep complaining aboutit, keep making excuses about it
, like that energy really drainsme, it really like stresses me
out.
And then I'm the type of personwhere I carry people's burdens,
you know, and I lose sleep atnight because of it.
(06:00):
So when you truly be yourselfand you choose yourself,
everything else will choose youtoo.
And when you are livingauthentically, you being
genuinely yourself, you freeyourself from so many burdens.
You free yourself from thingsthat are so unnecessary in your
life.
You know it's like Godseparates you from things that
should not be in your path.
It's like God separates youfrom things that should not be
(06:20):
in your path, and that's justwhat it is.
He transitions you to somethingthat is better for you, to
something that is greater foryou, or even people that is
better for you, people that aregoing to help you in your path,
people that are going to inspireyou, people that are going to
help you move to the next level.
I just feel like a lot of theproblems that people have
nowadays being distracted, notbeing themselves, not feeling
(06:44):
free is because of theenvironment that they surround
themselves in.
And I am here to tell you like,stop following the crowd.
This is a time for you whereyou kind of got to be selfish,
where you got to put yourselffirst, where you got to put your
mental health and yourpriorities Number one, like no
(07:05):
friendship.
No other family member besidesyour kids can go before that.
If you really have goals andyou really have vision, don't
let anybody distract you fromthat, because you're the one
who's going to be living inregret and resentment later.
You know you're the one who'sgoing to be bitter about it
later.
When you wasted all this time.
You know following people thatyou should have been left go a
long time ago.
When god wants to bless you.
That blessing is just for you.
(07:26):
It's not for the people aroundyou, it's not for your friends,
it's not for your significantother, it's not for your family,
it's not for your neighbors,it's not for your co-workers
like sometimes, that blessing isjust for you.
When you want to take everybodyalong with you, you block your
blessings.
You miss out on what God hasgot for you, because that was
just meant for you, not foranybody else.
(07:47):
So, instead of shrinkingyourself, instead of minimizing
yourself, following the crowd,doing what everybody else is
doing, put yourself first,choose you.
And, like I said, I've beenthere.
I've been there before when I'mjust hanging around people and
I'm just like, why, why am Ihere?
Like, why do I subject myselfto this?
Like, why do I allow this?
You get treated the way thatyou are allowed to be treated.
(08:09):
Life hands you what you give.
What you give is what you getyou around toxic people.
You're going to get toxicenergy back.
You're not doing enough on yourpart and you're going to see
why the results that you wantednever came through.
You got to just start lockingin on your goals and on your
dreams.
It's never too late to get backto you.
It's never too late to chooseyourself.
(08:30):
Don't ever limit your potential.
Don't ever box yourself in.
I've noticed that when I let goof certain relationships in my
life or friendships that even Ijust outgrew, it was never a
loss, it was just all a lessonlearned.
These people had to leave outof my life so I can grow, so I
can evolve, and maybe vice versa.
Maybe you gotta leave certainpeople's life.
(08:50):
If you're the one who's reallytrying to get things done,
you're the one who's matureheaded, you're the one who's
more wise.
You just gotta let these peoplego, because they need to learn
how to grow without you.
And I hope you guys like thiscontent and if you did, please
like comment and subscribe andI'll be back for more videos.
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