December 4, 2024 ā¢ 9 mins
Ever feel overwhelmed by the commercial frenzy of holiday gift-giving? You're not alone. This episode shines a light on the unspoken stress many face during the festive season, from the financial burdens to the emotional challenges like dealing with loss or relationship changes. Sharing personal stories and insights, I empathize with those who find themselves struggling and offer a refreshing perspective on how to find genuine happiness. Discover how small, meaningful activities and creating lasting memories can replace the stress of material expectations, leading to a more fulfilled and joyful holiday experience.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
What a beautiful people for Haley's here.
So I'm constantly alwayshearing that people just don't
like the holidays, that peoplehate it because it's just
becoming such a burden and it'sbecoming stressful.
And I understand for the peoplethat has lost a loved one.
They don't really have a family, they don't really have a loved
one, they don't have a supportsystem.
Like I understand the griefpart.
(00:20):
I understand if you're doingholidays without that person,
without that family member, butI just feel like nowadays it's
just becoming such a burden.
I feel like holidays aresupposed to be joyous time.
It's supposed to be the time ofthe year, it's supposed to be
how you want it to be.
And I'm just constantly hearingfrom so many people that it's
just becoming a burden.
It's becoming the moststressful, most depressing time
(00:41):
of year.
And let me just tell you, evenif you lost a loved one, even if
you're going through a divorce,if you're going through a
breakup, if you're going throughsomething um, very unfortunate,
very sad, you can still try toenjoy the holidays in your own
way.
You can take the time off togrieve, to be hurt, to be sad,
but you genuinely deserve to behappy, no matter what you're
going through.
Ladies and gentlemen, just knowthat you deserve to be happy,
(01:05):
even in the most joyfullest,even in the most hardest time of
the year, and I understand that.
It just really makes me sadthat a lot of people are
starting to hate it, notnecessarily because of a loved
one.
A lot of people that I know,like relatives, friends, a lot
of people that I know that Ihate it is because of finances.
I'm starting to feel the burdenthat everybody else is feeling
(01:31):
because I am such a holidayperson.
I love the holidays.
Even when I was going throughone of the toughest breakups of
my entire life, I was leaving atoxic relationship.
I separated myself from so manypeople, especially family
members I still was loving theholidays because I saw it more
as peace.
I've seen it that I free myselffrom so much animosity, from so
(01:52):
much negativity, from so muchtoxicity, from so much stress.
I want to be around people thatcan fill my cup, that can give
me good energy.
I don't want to be aroundpeople that drains me.
Even when I was going throughso much like about two years ago
, I was really going through somuch emotionally, mentally, my
peace was so disrupted.
I was not in a good headspace.
Like I said, I was living oneof the most toxic relationships
(02:14):
ever.
I still found ways to make myholidays as joyful as I can,
doing things that makes me happy, which, to me, little things
really really make me happy,like going to see the tree,
going to the stores and hearingholiday music and, you know,
having a cup of coffee, or justdoing things with a friend that
I trust, or doing things withlike a sibling that I trust.
(02:36):
Doing something, you knowwhether it's by yourself or
you're doing it with a friend,or you're doing it with a family
member, or you're doing it withyour kids.
Little things like that, for me, it really goes the long way.
For you guys who have bigfamilies, you know you're
probably going through a budgetor a finance crisis.
I feel like you should not haveto take that burden upon
yourself.
I've noticed I don't know why,but this is especially in a lot
(02:59):
of families, and hispanicfamilies as well people don't
really care about your finances,people don't care about your
budget and they just want you tospend money on them.
Because they just want you tospend money on them, it benefits
them and it hurts your pocketand me.
I broke that cycle within myfamily.
I be telling them because I begoing through it too.
You know, the struggle is realand I tell them, like how about
(03:21):
we just don't gift each otherthis year?
Let's not gift each other,because the holidays should not
be about spending money.
It shouldn't be about thepresents.
It should be about really likefamily time.
It should be about having thattime with your loved ones,
making it special, making itmemorable, saying it right,
making it like memory, havingthat bond.
It should not be about thepresents.
(03:41):
And I had this conversation withmy sister the other day.
I was telling her I'm like Ihated that the holidays
everybody just focuses onspending money and buying
presents, even when they can'tafford to.
I was having that conversationwith her and I was like you know
, we should not buy each othergifts.
Let's not buy each other gifts.
Let's do something like.
Let's do an experience, let'smake a memory that we will all
(04:03):
enjoy.
The gifts is not going to bringus together.
The gifts is only going tobring everybody resentment.
Because I noticed, even withfamilies, when you buy one
person one gift and let's saythat gift is more expensive than
the others, the other familymember starts to be resentment,
they start to be bitter about it, people become ungrateful and
it's just so much drama.
So for my mental peace, for mywellbeing and for my bank
(04:27):
account because I come from ahuge family I tell them we're
not doing this gift giving.
I just want to take care of mydaughter, my child, I want to
take care of my home and whenChristmas comes, I just want us
all to do something together.
Let's all do an event, let'sall be together.
Let's just make it family time,not gift giving time.
So I feel like, for a lot ofpeople, if they're not losing,
(04:50):
if they're not grieving a lovedone or a relationship, a breakup
, a divorce, whatever it is, Ifeel like the reason why a lot
of y'all just have this burdenduring the holidays is because
y'all know y'all got to splurgeso much, whether it's on y'all
family, whether it's on y'allfriends, whether it's on y'all
coworkers, and that just becomestoo stressful.
Even y'all neighbors y'allsplurge on y'all neighbors.
(05:10):
I just find this so stressful.
I find it sometimes.
I'm gonna be honest, I kind offind it unnecessary.
I stand on this.
But if you do not want to buyfamily members a gift, don't do
it.
Just do not do it.
Tell them listen, we're notdoing gifts this year.
Let's not buy each other gifts.
Let's just enjoy the day.
(05:30):
Let's just seize the moment.
Let's do an experience.
I feel like your real family,your real friends.
Whoever you surround yourselfwith, whoever is in your inner
circle, should understand.
I just hear so manyconversations of me, especially
within my family.
I just hear so manyconversations like oh, this is
the most stressful time.
I got to buy this, I got to buythis, then I'm going to be in
(05:52):
credit card debt, then I got allthese bills to pay.
And it shouldn't have to belike that.
The holidays should not have tobe like that.
It should not have to bestressful.
You should not be going in debtfor your family.
You shouldn't no-transcript gotthem something and then you
(06:27):
going in credit card debt or youstruggling with your bills.
That's not fair for you either,and I think that's where the
burden and that's where theresentment and that's why a lot
of people hate the holidays.
The holidays shouldn't be aboutthat.
I don't believe it should beabout going in debt, going
bankrupt, just to put a smile onother people's face and you're
left alone picking up the pieces.
(06:47):
You're left alone, sufferingbehind closed doors.
I do not like that.
I just think that is so toxicand for so many years growing up
I've seen this happen so manytimes and for me, all I want for
this Christmas is just the giftof peace for everybody.
Not just for me, but foreverybody.
I want everybody to have peace.
Don't worry about buying mesomething.
Don't worry about buying mychild something.
(07:08):
Worry about your bills.
Worry about you.
Catch up on what you have tocatch up on, like the holidays
should just be about celebratingit with your loved ones and
doing things, doing littlethings that can make you happy,
even if it's going to anexperience, even if you guys are
just having game night or movienight or you guys are cooking
dinner together.
You don't have to spend moneyto make the holidays memorable.
(07:30):
You don't have to waste so muchmoney.
You don't have to go into debt.
You don't have to max out yourcredit cards just to make it the
season.
I feel like if we do thingsstrategically, financially, a
lot of people wouldn't have thisburden.
All I'm saying is I know y'allwant to give something to y'all
kids.
Y'all kids go first, butoutside of that, don't force it,
don't force yourself to splurgemoney on other people.
(07:53):
If you are going through a hardtime financially and the reason
why I say this is becausepeople don't like the season,
really because of a financialstandpoint and what I'm trying
to tell y'all is if you can't doit, don't do it.
Take care of your kids first,if that's what you want to do.
If you want to spend money onyour kids, then go for it.
If you have more than enoughmoney to spend on your whole
(08:14):
family, spend on your friends,spend on your loved ones, then
go for it.
But if you financially cannotdo it because you have a goal,
you have a plan, you're tryingto catch ahead of your bills or
you're probably struggling rightnow, or you just cannot do it,
or you just don't want to do itthen don't do it.
I feel like right now we'reliving in a world where
everybody's just counting favors.
(08:35):
I can't stand when I'm out withfriends and they're like oh, I
got you, so you got me next time.
Like why are we counting favors?
If you're going through a lossor if you're grieving, know that
you are not alone, but alsoremember that you do deserve to
be happy.
You do deserve to find the joy,even in the midst of this chaos
or this rough time.
(08:55):
You don't have to be sad allday, every day.
God did not bring you this farjust so he could lose you.
And for those who arefinancially struggling or going
through a financial crisis,please be smart about your
decisions.
This holiday season, don't goover for people that it's not
really going to go over for youor your kids.
And if you want to go over forpeople and it's genuine, don't
(09:18):
always expect something inreturn.
That's where you're alwaysgoing to be disappointed and
you're going to have resentmentand you're going to be bitter
and I see this all the time like, oh, I got this person such a
nice gift and they got me thiscrappy gift.
Listen, if you got them a nicegift and it's from your heart,
then be happy that you got thema nice gift.
And if they get you a crappygift, then just accept it.
Just accept it as long as yourintentions was pure and genuine.
(09:40):
That's really all that matters.
God will multiply that back foryou Like, comment, share and
subscribe, and I'll be back formore videos.
What a beautiful people for Haley's here.
So I'm constantly alwayshearing that people just don't
like the holidays, that peoplehate it because it's just
becoming such a burden and it'sbecoming stressful.
And I understand for the peoplethat has lost a loved one.
They don't really have a family, they don't really have a loved
one, they don't have a supportsystem.
Like I understand the griefpart.
(00:20):
I understand if you're doingholidays without that person,
without that family member, butI just feel like nowadays it's
just becoming such a burden.
I feel like holidays aresupposed to be joyous time.
It's supposed to be the time ofthe year, it's supposed to be
how you want it to be.
And I'm just constantly hearingfrom so many people that it's
just becoming a burden.
It's becoming the moststressful, most depressing time
(00:41):
of year.
And let me just tell you, evenif you lost a loved one, even if
you're going through a divorce,if you're going through a
breakup, if you're going throughsomething um, very unfortunate,
very sad, you can still try toenjoy the holidays in your own
way.
You can take the time off togrieve, to be hurt, to be sad,
but you genuinely deserve to behappy, no matter what you're
going through.
Ladies and gentlemen, just knowthat you deserve to be happy,
(01:05):
even in the most joyfullest,even in the most hardest time of
the year, and I understand that.
It just really makes me sadthat a lot of people are
starting to hate it, notnecessarily because of a loved
one.
A lot of people that I know,like relatives, friends, a lot
of people that I know that Ihate it is because of finances.
I'm starting to feel the burdenthat everybody else is feeling
(01:31):
because I am such a holidayperson.
I love the holidays.
Even when I was going throughone of the toughest breakups of
my entire life, I was leaving atoxic relationship.
I separated myself from so manypeople, especially family
members I still was loving theholidays because I saw it more
as peace.
I've seen it that I free myselffrom so much animosity, from so
(01:52):
much negativity, from so muchtoxicity, from so much stress.
I want to be around people thatcan fill my cup, that can give
me good energy.
I don't want to be aroundpeople that drains me.
Even when I was going throughso much like about two years ago
, I was really going through somuch emotionally, mentally, my
peace was so disrupted.
I was not in a good headspace.
Like I said, I was living oneof the most toxic relationships
(02:14):
ever.
I still found ways to make myholidays as joyful as I can,
doing things that makes me happy, which, to me, little things
really really make me happy,like going to see the tree,
going to the stores and hearingholiday music and, you know,
having a cup of coffee, or justdoing things with a friend that
I trust, or doing things withlike a sibling that I trust.
(02:36):
Doing something, you knowwhether it's by yourself or
you're doing it with a friend,or you're doing it with a family
member, or you're doing it withyour kids.
Little things like that, for me, it really goes the long way.
For you guys who have bigfamilies, you know you're
probably going through a budgetor a finance crisis.
I feel like you should not haveto take that burden upon
yourself.
I've noticed I don't know why,but this is especially in a lot
(02:59):
of families, and hispanicfamilies as well people don't
really care about your finances,people don't care about your
budget and they just want you tospend money on them.
Because they just want you tospend money on them, it benefits
them and it hurts your pocketand me.
I broke that cycle within myfamily.
I be telling them because I begoing through it too.
You know, the struggle is realand I tell them, like how about
(03:21):
we just don't gift each otherthis year?
Let's not gift each other,because the holidays should not
be about spending money.
It shouldn't be about thepresents.
It should be about really likefamily time.
It should be about having thattime with your loved ones,
making it special, making itmemorable, saying it right,
making it like memory, havingthat bond.
It should not be about thepresents.
(03:41):
And I had this conversation withmy sister the other day.
I was telling her I'm like Ihated that the holidays
everybody just focuses onspending money and buying
presents, even when they can'tafford to.
I was having that conversationwith her and I was like you know
, we should not buy each othergifts.
Let's not buy each other gifts.
Let's do something like.
Let's do an experience, let'smake a memory that we will all
(04:03):
enjoy.
The gifts is not going to bringus together.
The gifts is only going tobring everybody resentment.
Because I noticed, even withfamilies, when you buy one
person one gift and let's saythat gift is more expensive than
the others, the other familymember starts to be resentment,
they start to be bitter about it, people become ungrateful and
it's just so much drama.
So for my mental peace, for mywellbeing and for my bank
(04:27):
account because I come from ahuge family I tell them we're
not doing this gift giving.
I just want to take care of mydaughter, my child, I want to
take care of my home and whenChristmas comes, I just want us
all to do something together.
Let's all do an event, let'sall be together.
Let's just make it family time,not gift giving time.
So I feel like, for a lot ofpeople, if they're not losing,
(04:50):
if they're not grieving a lovedone or a relationship, a breakup
, a divorce, whatever it is, Ifeel like the reason why a lot
of y'all just have this burdenduring the holidays is because
y'all know y'all got to splurgeso much, whether it's on y'all
family, whether it's on y'allfriends, whether it's on y'all
coworkers, and that just becomestoo stressful.
Even y'all neighbors y'allsplurge on y'all neighbors.
(05:10):
I just find this so stressful.
I find it sometimes.
I'm gonna be honest, I kind offind it unnecessary.
I stand on this.
But if you do not want to buyfamily members a gift, don't do
it.
Just do not do it.
Tell them listen, we're notdoing gifts this year.
Let's not buy each other gifts.
Let's just enjoy the day.
(05:30):
Let's just seize the moment.
Let's do an experience.
I feel like your real family,your real friends.
Whoever you surround yourselfwith, whoever is in your inner
circle, should understand.
I just hear so manyconversations of me, especially
within my family.
I just hear so manyconversations like oh, this is
the most stressful time.
I got to buy this, I got to buythis, then I'm going to be in
(05:52):
credit card debt, then I got allthese bills to pay.
And it shouldn't have to belike that.
The holidays should not have tobe like that.
It should not have to bestressful.
You should not be going in debtfor your family.
You shouldn't no-transcript gotthem something and then you
(06:27):
going in credit card debt or youstruggling with your bills.
That's not fair for you either,and I think that's where the
burden and that's where theresentment and that's why a lot
of people hate the holidays.
The holidays shouldn't be aboutthat.
I don't believe it should beabout going in debt, going
bankrupt, just to put a smile onother people's face and you're
left alone picking up the pieces.
(06:47):
You're left alone, sufferingbehind closed doors.
I do not like that.
I just think that is so toxicand for so many years growing up
I've seen this happen so manytimes and for me, all I want for
this Christmas is just the giftof peace for everybody.
Not just for me, but foreverybody.
I want everybody to have peace.
Don't worry about buying mesomething.
Don't worry about buying mychild something.
(07:08):
Worry about your bills.
Worry about you.
Catch up on what you have tocatch up on, like the holidays
should just be about celebratingit with your loved ones and
doing things, doing littlethings that can make you happy,
even if it's going to anexperience, even if you guys are
just having game night or movienight or you guys are cooking
dinner together.
You don't have to spend moneyto make the holidays memorable.
(07:30):
You don't have to waste so muchmoney.
You don't have to go into debt.
You don't have to max out yourcredit cards just to make it the
season.
I feel like if we do thingsstrategically, financially, a
lot of people wouldn't have thisburden.
All I'm saying is I know y'allwant to give something to y'all
kids.
Y'all kids go first, butoutside of that, don't force it,
don't force yourself to splurgemoney on other people.
(07:53):
If you are going through a hardtime financially and the reason
why I say this is becausepeople don't like the season,
really because of a financialstandpoint and what I'm trying
to tell y'all is if you can't doit, don't do it.
Take care of your kids first,if that's what you want to do.
If you want to spend money onyour kids, then go for it.
If you have more than enoughmoney to spend on your whole
(08:14):
family, spend on your friends,spend on your loved ones, then
go for it.
But if you financially cannotdo it because you have a goal,
you have a plan, you're tryingto catch ahead of your bills or
you're probably struggling rightnow, or you just cannot do it,
or you just don't want to do itthen don't do it.
I feel like right now we'reliving in a world where
everybody's just counting favors.
(08:35):
I can't stand when I'm out withfriends and they're like oh, I
got you, so you got me next time.
Like why are we counting favors?
If you're going through a lossor if you're grieving, know that
you are not alone, but alsoremember that you do deserve to
be happy.
You do deserve to find the joy,even in the midst of this chaos
or this rough time.
(08:55):
You don't have to be sad allday, every day.
God did not bring you this farjust so he could lose you.
And for those who arefinancially struggling or going
through a financial crisis,please be smart about your
decisions.
This holiday season, don't goover for people that it's not
really going to go over for youor your kids.
And if you want to go over forpeople and it's genuine, don't
(09:18):
always expect something inreturn.
That's where you're alwaysgoing to be disappointed and
you're going to have resentmentand you're going to be bitter
and I see this all the time like, oh, I got this person such a
nice gift and they got me thiscrappy gift.
Listen, if you got them a nicegift and it's from your heart,
then be happy that you got thema nice gift.
And if they get you a crappygift, then just accept it.
Just accept it as long as yourintentions was pure and genuine.
(09:40):
That's really all that matters.
God will multiply that back foryou Like, comment, share and
subscribe, and I'll be back formore videos.
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