April 12, 2024 • 6 mins
Have you ever found yourself weighed down by the worries of those around you, feeling as though every problem in your friend's or family member's life suddenly becomes your own? This episode is for those of us who can’t seem to stop our natural inclination to give, give, and give some more. I open up about the personal journey of striking a balance between being there for others and prioritizing my own mental health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
So y'all cannot be helping everyone and I wanted to
make this content because I begiving advice to people,
especially family members andfriends, and I be giving them so
much of my time and my energybecause I want to see them win
and I want to support them and Iwant to help them.
And where does that got me?
That mentally drains my energy,that messes up my peace, that
(00:21):
stresses me out.
You cannot be helping people somuch that their problems become
your problems because now youare carrying their burdens and
that's not right and that's notfair to you.
A lot of us we are justnaturally givers and we are
empaths, so we feel so manypeople's energy and we take on
so many people's like energy,aura and burdens and we don't
(00:44):
notice.
But that really damages ourmental peace.
That really damages, like, ourstress levels, because now we
worrying about other people'sproblems, which we should be
focusing on our own issues.
And I wanted to tell y'all likey'all can't be helping and
going above and beyond forpeople that do not want help,
that does not want to take youradvice.
Y'all can't be trying to behelping people that are so stuck
(01:05):
in their ways that they don'twant to learn.
They don't want to grow, theydon't want to change.
There's people out here thaty'all be trying to help and
y'all be giving y'all advice toand y'all be trying to guide,
and they're so stuck in theirways they don't want to grow up,
they don't want to change, theydon't want to do better for
themselves.
You want to help people so much, but you're losing yourself in
the process of helping them out.
(01:25):
Notice that when you are helpingpeople with their problems,
make sure you recognize whentheir problems are becoming your
problems, because you arewalking around with so much
burdens that you don't need tobe walking around.
You have so much unnecessaryburdens and problems and issues
from other people when youshould be focusing more on
yourself, and that's why Ialways say that sometimes it's
(01:46):
okay to be selfish.
Sometimes you have to beselfish, not because you're a
mean person, not because you'rea greedy person, not because you
want to see other people suffer.
It's not even about that.
It's just sometimes you want tojust focus on yourself and you
want to protect your peace andyou want to do what's best for
you.
You got to just let otherpeople learn things on their own
(02:06):
.
When you hit rock bottom, whowas there for you.
A lot of people that y'all becounting on don't even be there
for you.
When you going through yourstuff, you got to remember that
you got out of it on your ownand with God, but you got out of
it on your own.
You had to do it for yourself.
You had to make it happen foryourself.
You can't be going above andbeyond for other people that
does not want the help, becausethese are the kind of people
(02:28):
that will take advantage of you.
They take advantage of yourkindness, they take advantage of
your generosity, and I say thisbecause I was giving someone
advice and I was trying to helpsomeone out, like a couple of
days ago, but they didn't wantmy advice, they just wanted to
be stuck in their ways.
They wanted to be stuck intheir ways.
They wanted to continuefocusing on drama.
(02:48):
They wanted to continuefocusing on things that were not
good for them.
And when you around people thatdon't want what's best for
themselves, you're gonna bearound people that don't want
what's best for you, because ifthey really want what's best for
you, they would work on beinggood for themselves so that when
you guys are around, it's goodenergy, is good vibes, you guys
are feeding off good energy, butwhen you around people that are
constantly complaining andvictimizing themselves and they
(03:10):
don't see no wrong, they don'ttake accountability, they don't
take responsibility for theiractions, that really drains you.
These people are like vampires.
They drain your energy.
You have to be careful who youput your energy and your time
into, because you cannot helpeveryone, especially when it be
your own family, especially whenit be your own friends.
You can be having otherpeople's problems becoming your
(03:33):
problems, and that'd be theissue.
That'd be the reason why a lotof your vibration is low and
y'all are operating from a lowfrequency and you guys are
constantly like disappointed, oryou guys are upset, or you guys
are stressed out because youguys are carrying other people's
problems.
You got to let people learn thehard way, because I had to learn
certain things on my own, andwhen I learned on my own, I got
(03:55):
wiser, I got better, I gotstronger, and when you keep
enabling people that don't wantto grow, they're never going to
change.
They're always going to bestuck in their ways because
they're used to people babyingthem.
We be letting the outsideenergy disrupt our internal
peace, and you know why.
It's because we want the bestfor the people that we love.
We really want to be there forthem.
(04:16):
We're really trying to guidethem, but sometimes, when you
focus on them a little bit toomuch and you exhaust all your
options trying to help them out,you really hurt yourself.
You are doing more damage thangood to yourself.
You have to protect your peaceand you got to have boundaries,
and that's why I'm such a big.
I'm a big person when it comesto boundaries, because you don't
(04:39):
let other people's issues oroutside negativity come into
your life and disrupt your peace, because that's not fair to you
.
Why would you want to walkaround carrying other people's
burdens and other people'sstress when it has nothing to do
with you?
And if you are giving thesepeople good advice and you're
trying to help them out andyou're trying to be there for
(05:00):
them and they don't want themhelp, you are wasting your time
and your energy.
All that time you could havebeen doing.
You could have been focused onsomething else that's going to
benefit you, but instead it'sgoing to hurt you in the long
run and you're the one who'sgoing to be stressed out.
What I'm trying to say with thiswhole content is that you
cannot be helping everybody out.
Sometimes you just got to learnhow to be a little bit selfish,
(05:24):
and one thing I've learnedabout that is that people learn
when they hit their rock bottom.
But when they constantly gotpeople babying them and enabling
their behavior and they'restuck in this victimized
mentality, they they're notgonna learn because they're used
to everyone picking them up.
But don't lose yourself in theprocess trying to help out your
family and your friends.
Don't lose your peace becauseother people around you aren't
(05:46):
in pieces.
That's all I gotta say to that,and I hope this content can
help somebody out and if it did,please like, comment and
subscribe.
So y'all cannot be helping everyone and I wanted to
make this content because I begiving advice to people,
especially family members andfriends, and I be giving them so
much of my time and my energybecause I want to see them win
and I want to support them and Iwant to help them.
And where does that got me?
That mentally drains my energy,that messes up my peace, that
(00:21):
stresses me out.
You cannot be helping people somuch that their problems become
your problems because now youare carrying their burdens and
that's not right and that's notfair to you.
A lot of us we are justnaturally givers and we are
empaths, so we feel so manypeople's energy and we take on
so many people's like energy,aura and burdens and we don't
(00:44):
notice.
But that really damages ourmental peace.
That really damages, like, ourstress levels, because now we
worrying about other people'sproblems, which we should be
focusing on our own issues.
And I wanted to tell y'all likey'all can't be helping and
going above and beyond forpeople that do not want help,
that does not want to take youradvice.
Y'all can't be trying to behelping people that are so stuck
(01:05):
in their ways that they don'twant to learn.
They don't want to grow, theydon't want to change.
There's people out here thaty'all be trying to help and
y'all be giving y'all advice toand y'all be trying to guide,
and they're so stuck in theirways they don't want to grow up,
they don't want to change, theydon't want to do better for
themselves.
You want to help people so much, but you're losing yourself in
the process of helping them out.
(01:25):
Notice that when you are helpingpeople with their problems,
make sure you recognize whentheir problems are becoming your
problems, because you arewalking around with so much
burdens that you don't need tobe walking around.
You have so much unnecessaryburdens and problems and issues
from other people when youshould be focusing more on
yourself, and that's why Ialways say that sometimes it's
(01:46):
okay to be selfish.
Sometimes you have to beselfish, not because you're a
mean person, not because you'rea greedy person, not because you
want to see other people suffer.
It's not even about that.
It's just sometimes you want tojust focus on yourself and you
want to protect your peace andyou want to do what's best for
you.
You got to just let otherpeople learn things on their own
(02:06):
.
When you hit rock bottom, whowas there for you.
A lot of people that y'all becounting on don't even be there
for you.
When you going through yourstuff, you got to remember that
you got out of it on your ownand with God, but you got out of
it on your own.
You had to do it for yourself.
You had to make it happen foryourself.
You can't be going above andbeyond for other people that
does not want the help, becausethese are the kind of people
(02:28):
that will take advantage of you.
They take advantage of yourkindness, they take advantage of
your generosity, and I say thisbecause I was giving someone
advice and I was trying to helpsomeone out, like a couple of
days ago, but they didn't wantmy advice, they just wanted to
be stuck in their ways.
They wanted to be stuck intheir ways.
They wanted to continuefocusing on drama.
(02:48):
They wanted to continuefocusing on things that were not
good for them.
And when you around people thatdon't want what's best for
themselves, you're gonna bearound people that don't want
what's best for you, because ifthey really want what's best for
you, they would work on beinggood for themselves so that when
you guys are around, it's goodenergy, is good vibes, you guys
are feeding off good energy, butwhen you around people that are
constantly complaining andvictimizing themselves and they
(03:10):
don't see no wrong, they don'ttake accountability, they don't
take responsibility for theiractions, that really drains you.
These people are like vampires.
They drain your energy.
You have to be careful who youput your energy and your time
into, because you cannot helpeveryone, especially when it be
your own family, especially whenit be your own friends.
You can be having otherpeople's problems becoming your
(03:33):
problems, and that'd be theissue.
That'd be the reason why a lotof your vibration is low and
y'all are operating from a lowfrequency and you guys are
constantly like disappointed, oryou guys are upset, or you guys
are stressed out because youguys are carrying other people's
problems.
You got to let people learn thehard way, because I had to learn
certain things on my own, andwhen I learned on my own, I got
(03:55):
wiser, I got better, I gotstronger, and when you keep
enabling people that don't wantto grow, they're never going to
change.
They're always going to bestuck in their ways because
they're used to people babyingthem.
We be letting the outsideenergy disrupt our internal
peace, and you know why.
It's because we want the bestfor the people that we love.
We really want to be there forthem.
(04:16):
We're really trying to guidethem, but sometimes, when you
focus on them a little bit toomuch and you exhaust all your
options trying to help them out,you really hurt yourself.
You are doing more damage thangood to yourself.
You have to protect your peaceand you got to have boundaries,
and that's why I'm such a big.
I'm a big person when it comesto boundaries, because you don't
(04:39):
let other people's issues oroutside negativity come into
your life and disrupt your peace, because that's not fair to you
.
Why would you want to walkaround carrying other people's
burdens and other people'sstress when it has nothing to do
with you?
And if you are giving thesepeople good advice and you're
trying to help them out andyou're trying to be there for
(05:00):
them and they don't want themhelp, you are wasting your time
and your energy.
All that time you could havebeen doing.
You could have been focused onsomething else that's going to
benefit you, but instead it'sgoing to hurt you in the long
run and you're the one who'sgoing to be stressed out.
What I'm trying to say with thiswhole content is that you
cannot be helping everybody out.
Sometimes you just got to learnhow to be a little bit selfish,
(05:24):
and one thing I've learnedabout that is that people learn
when they hit their rock bottom.
But when they constantly gotpeople babying them and enabling
their behavior and they'restuck in this victimized
mentality, they they're notgonna learn because they're used
to everyone picking them up.
But don't lose yourself in theprocess trying to help out your
family and your friends.
Don't lose your peace becauseother people around you aren't
(05:46):
in pieces.
That's all I gotta say to that,and I hope this content can
help somebody out and if it did,please like, comment and
subscribe.
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