April 17, 2024 ā¢ 9 mins
Have you ever felt the weight of someone else's expectations tethering you down? That's where I found myself, trapped until I learned the freeing power of choosing myself. Join me as I share my intimate journey through the trials of setting personal boundaries and the subsequent victories that come with putting oneself first. Amid the backdrop of a challenging post-breakup period, I illuminate the strength found in distancing from negative influences and the courage it takes to sometimes say 'no.' The conversation isn't about severing ties for good; it's about carving out the necessary room for self-growth and the supporters who respect that space.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
So I don't know why a lot of y'all, you guys let
people around y'all dictatey'all life.
Why do you guys do this For alot of y'all that really want to
level up and y'all want toelevate y'all life and y'all
want to do what's best for you.
I'm always going to continue tosay this, but people around you
majority of them is not goingto like it.
When you want to level up andyou want to do what's best for
(00:20):
you and you choose yourself, yougot to sacrifice.
You got to put certain peopleto the side.
You got to put certainpriorities to the side.
Your kids will always comefirst, but if you really want to
go somewhere in life and itmeans that you have to sacrifice
like hanging out with yourfriends every single week, you
know going on dates that ismeaningless, that is costing you
(00:41):
your wallet, that you're alwaysbeing mentally drained because
you always gotta waste moneygoing through these birthday
parties or going to events.
If you wanna get to a certainposition or a certain place in
your life, you're gonna have todo a lot of sacrifices.
You're gonna have to just putcertain things to the side.
You're gonna have to say no alot, and that's why I always say
always choose yourself andalways do what is best for you.
(01:03):
And if your family and if yourfriends are not going to like it
, then oh well, the truestpeople that really love you for
free, they're going to respectit, they're going to accept it.
I'm not saying that you got tocut people off for your life
forever, but I'm just saying forme, when I was at a bad place
in my life, when I was justleaving and exiting a breakup, I
had to remove myself fromcertain people, people that were
(01:25):
not bringing me peace, peoplethat were so detrimental to my
mental health, people that justweren't for me, people that
would just gossip and just bringbad energy around me.
I know they feel some type ofway because I don't be around
them anymore, but I don't carebecause they don't ever look at
it like, oh, I have to protectmy mental peace.
I had to do what's best for me.
I had to put myself first.
I had to choose distance overdisrespect.
(01:48):
People are not going to like it.
When you choose yourself first,people are not going to like it
.
When you do what is best foryou and sometimes to get to the
next level, to go up.
You're going to have to makesacrifices.
You're going to have to say no.
When you say no, when you dowhat is best for you, that's
when you're going to really seewho is there for you, who really
loves you for free and nottrying to take advantage of you,
(02:09):
not trying to benefit you.
Stop trying to live your lifeletting other people control you
, because other people shouldnot control you and other people
should not own you.
God is the one who owns you.
You should fulfill your life.
You should do what it is thatyou want to do, and if that
means that you got to createsome distance over people, you
got to create some distance overfriendships.
You got to say no to certainevents.
(02:30):
You got to just stop showing up.
You got to show up for yourself.
Another thing is that when yousay no to things that do not
serve you, when you're saying noto people that does not align
with who you are, you are sayingyes to you.
People that does not align withwho you are, you are saying yes
to you.
When you are distancingyourself from things that does
not serve a purpose in your lifeanymore, you are getting closer
(02:51):
to who you are.
You are getting closer to yourblessings because you are
removing yourself from thingsthat do not serve you.
You are removing access frompeople and situations to things
that do not benefit you.
That does not bring any valueinto your life anymore.
So when you do that, not onlyare people who are going to feel
some type of way, but that'show you're going to know who's
(03:13):
really there for you.
You are choosing yourself.
You are getting closer to whatis best for you.
You are stepping into a versionthat you are meant to be and
sometimes, when you got toevolve from the version of you
right now, that means you'regonna have to leave certain
people behind.
It sucks to say this, but toget to the next level and to
become a better version ofyourself, you are gonna have to
(03:34):
leave some people behind.
A lot of people are not meantto be in your next path.
A lot of people are not meantto be in your next version of
yourself.
Some people are not meant to bein your journey.
Why am I now where I want to bein life is because you're still
holding on to people that wasmeant to be let go of.
(03:54):
You have to let go of certainpeople.
I know a lot of us.
We want to take certain peoplewith us because we want
everybody to win around us.
But if these people not onlythat they're not good for our
growth, but they're alsodistracting us from our purpose,
but if these are the kind ofpeople that they don't inspire
you, they're not feeding intoyour goals, they're not feeding
(04:15):
into your visions, they'realways the ones to shut it down.
You're not going to get blessedbecause you got too much
negative energies and negativeentities, their projections like
their failures.
They're putting that out ontoyou and then you're not going to
feel inspired, you're not goingto feel motivated, you're not
going to feel like is it evenworth it?
You're going to feel like allyour goals is useless because
you got people around you thatgave up.
(04:37):
You got people around you thatsettled in their life, so
they're going to put theirprojections onto you.
You're going to have peoplethat are not going to believe in
your vision.
You're going to have peoplethat is not going to believe in
your goals.
They're going to try to humbleyou.
They're going to try tominimize your goals and who you
are.
And another thing I want to sayis that when you lose people
(04:57):
along the way of your path togreatness.
You did not lose anybody.
You didn't lose anyone.
That's just god clearing thepath for you.
Like I've noticed that in myjourney for me to get to where I
want to be and I'm stillcurrently going through the
process I'm still currentlygoing through a journey I
realized, realized that I didn'tlose anybody.
God just removed people thatwere not for me.
(05:19):
God removed people that neededto be let go.
God removed people that were adistraction, that was just
bringing bad energy to my life,that was just hurting me from my
growth.
And that's how y'all gotta lookat it.
Don't look at things likeyou're losing and all these bad
things is happening to you.
No, god is processing you.
He's preparing you for what youask for.
He's preparing you for what youwant in your life, to get to
(05:42):
where you want in your life,whether it's success, whether
it's wealthy, whether it's to behappy, whether it's to be
joyful, whether it's to havepeace.
You're gonna go through somethings.
It's not an easy path.
It's not an easy journey.
You're going to go through somethings In order to add to your
life.
You're going to have tosubtract For y'all that really
want to be successful and youguys have a vision you can't be
(06:03):
telling everybody, because whatI noticed is that people,
especially like your friends oreven family, they keep you boxed
in, they settled in their lifeor they don't believe in
themselves to reach theirpotential.
So they will project that ontoyou.
People will try to dim yourshine, people will try to shut
(06:23):
down your goals and that's why Ialways say you got to keep it
to yourself.
But you cannot be having thesepeople around you because these
people are going to feednegativity into you and you're
going to start to believe itPeople that you surround
yourself with, whether youbelieve it or not.
But you start to become likethat.
If you around people that arelazy, if you around people that
are broke, if you around peoplethat are just drama, you start
(06:46):
to attract that type of energyinto your life.
When I was around a friend thatshe always had drama, she
always played victim.
That energy was always cominginto my life because I was
always around her and, like whenI was around her, I was
mentally drained, I wasexhausted, I was so depressed
like she would bring myvibration so low.
So that's why I'm saying likeyou gotta put yourself first,
(07:08):
you gotta choose yourself.
And when you choose yourself,when you choose you, when you do
what is best for you, a lot ofpeople's not gonna like it.
When you want to do what makesyou happy, when you want to
climb the ladder, recognize thatgod is going to clear the path
for you.
You're going to lose peoplealong the way, and it's not that
you're losing people becausethese people weren't really
meant for you.
If you weren't losing them,that means that they would
(07:29):
appreciate, they would supportyou, they would celebrate, they
will make you happy.
But if they're not doing that,god is gonna remove them from
your path because they're gonnahurt you from growing, they're
gonna hurt you from succeeding.
In order to add to your life,you're going to have to subtract
, and that means people.
Maybe that's the environmentthat you're in, maybe that's the
friends that you surroundyourself with, maybe it's the
(07:49):
mindset that you're so used to.
Everything is all about energy,everything is about mindset,
and whatever you continue to bearound or whatever you continue
to believe, that's exactly whatyou're going to be.
And another thing I want to sayis that stop trying to fit in
with the crowd.
If you don't fit in.
You weren't meant to fit in.
You were meant to stand out.
You were meant to be different.
(08:09):
I don't follow the crowd.
I'm the one that I willseparate myself from me.
I will do whatever is best forme.
I will continue to believe inmy vision.
No one is going to stop that.
If you got people around youthat is just dreaming and they
have such a scarcity mindset,that's what you're going to
continue to believe.
You reap what you sow.
If you around people that arereally not good for you, you're
(08:31):
going to sow negativity intoyour subconscious, into your
life, into your habits.
So don't let people around yousilence you.
Don't let people silence yourpower.
Don't let other people dim yourlight.
Don't let other people controlyou.
Don't let people silence yourpower.
Don't let other people dim yourlight.
Don't let other people controlyou.
If you want to go somewhere inlife, if you have a vision for
yourself, if you want to do whatis best for you, then continue
to do that.
(08:52):
Don't let other people blockyour blessings.
Don't let any hater or anynaysayer stop you from you
becoming what you're meant to be.
A lot of that is justprojection, but that ain't got
nothing to do with you.
That's the life that they chose.
Don't mean that you have tosettle because everyone around
you has settled, and it's thesame in relationships, because
other people around you aretoxic relationships Don't mean
(09:15):
you got to copy.
Don't mean you got to follow.
Do what is best for you.
Always choose yourself first.
And that's all I got to say.
And if you like this content,please like, comment and
subscribe.
Also, check out my Amazonstorefront.
It's going to be linked in thedescription below and I'll be
back for more videos.
So I don't know why a lot of y'all, you guys let
people around y'all dictatey'all life.
Why do you guys do this For alot of y'all that really want to
level up and y'all want toelevate y'all life and y'all
want to do what's best for you.
I'm always going to continue tosay this, but people around you
majority of them is not goingto like it.
When you want to level up andyou want to do what's best for
(00:20):
you and you choose yourself, yougot to sacrifice.
You got to put certain peopleto the side.
You got to put certainpriorities to the side.
Your kids will always comefirst, but if you really want to
go somewhere in life and itmeans that you have to sacrifice
like hanging out with yourfriends every single week, you
know going on dates that ismeaningless, that is costing you
(00:41):
your wallet, that you're alwaysbeing mentally drained because
you always gotta waste moneygoing through these birthday
parties or going to events.
If you wanna get to a certainposition or a certain place in
your life, you're gonna have todo a lot of sacrifices.
You're gonna have to just putcertain things to the side.
You're gonna have to say no alot, and that's why I always say
always choose yourself andalways do what is best for you.
(01:03):
And if your family and if yourfriends are not going to like it
, then oh well, the truestpeople that really love you for
free, they're going to respectit, they're going to accept it.
I'm not saying that you got tocut people off for your life
forever, but I'm just saying forme, when I was at a bad place
in my life, when I was justleaving and exiting a breakup, I
had to remove myself fromcertain people, people that were
(01:25):
not bringing me peace, peoplethat were so detrimental to my
mental health, people that justweren't for me, people that
would just gossip and just bringbad energy around me.
I know they feel some type ofway because I don't be around
them anymore, but I don't carebecause they don't ever look at
it like, oh, I have to protectmy mental peace.
I had to do what's best for me.
I had to put myself first.
I had to choose distance overdisrespect.
(01:48):
People are not going to like it.
When you choose yourself first,people are not going to like it
.
When you do what is best foryou and sometimes to get to the
next level, to go up.
You're going to have to makesacrifices.
You're going to have to say no.
When you say no, when you dowhat is best for you, that's
when you're going to really seewho is there for you, who really
loves you for free and nottrying to take advantage of you,
(02:09):
not trying to benefit you.
Stop trying to live your lifeletting other people control you
, because other people shouldnot control you and other people
should not own you.
God is the one who owns you.
You should fulfill your life.
You should do what it is thatyou want to do, and if that
means that you got to createsome distance over people, you
got to create some distance overfriendships.
You got to say no to certainevents.
(02:30):
You got to just stop showing up.
You got to show up for yourself.
Another thing is that when yousay no to things that do not
serve you, when you're saying noto people that does not align
with who you are, you are sayingyes to you.
People that does not align withwho you are, you are saying yes
to you.
When you are distancingyourself from things that does
not serve a purpose in your lifeanymore, you are getting closer
(02:51):
to who you are.
You are getting closer to yourblessings because you are
removing yourself from thingsthat do not serve you.
You are removing access frompeople and situations to things
that do not benefit you.
That does not bring any valueinto your life anymore.
So when you do that, not onlyare people who are going to feel
some type of way, but that'show you're going to know who's
(03:13):
really there for you.
You are choosing yourself.
You are getting closer to whatis best for you.
You are stepping into a versionthat you are meant to be and
sometimes, when you got toevolve from the version of you
right now, that means you'regonna have to leave certain
people behind.
It sucks to say this, but toget to the next level and to
become a better version ofyourself, you are gonna have to
(03:34):
leave some people behind.
A lot of people are not meantto be in your next path.
A lot of people are not meantto be in your next version of
yourself.
Some people are not meant to bein your journey.
Why am I now where I want to bein life is because you're still
holding on to people that wasmeant to be let go of.
(03:54):
You have to let go of certainpeople.
I know a lot of us.
We want to take certain peoplewith us because we want
everybody to win around us.
But if these people not onlythat they're not good for our
growth, but they're alsodistracting us from our purpose,
but if these are the kind ofpeople that they don't inspire
you, they're not feeding intoyour goals, they're not feeding
(04:15):
into your visions, they'realways the ones to shut it down.
You're not going to get blessedbecause you got too much
negative energies and negativeentities, their projections like
their failures.
They're putting that out ontoyou and then you're not going to
feel inspired, you're not goingto feel motivated, you're not
going to feel like is it evenworth it?
You're going to feel like allyour goals is useless because
you got people around you thatgave up.
(04:37):
You got people around you thatsettled in their life, so
they're going to put theirprojections onto you.
You're going to have peoplethat are not going to believe in
your vision.
You're going to have peoplethat is not going to believe in
your goals.
They're going to try to humbleyou.
They're going to try tominimize your goals and who you
are.
And another thing I want to sayis that when you lose people
(04:57):
along the way of your path togreatness.
You did not lose anybody.
You didn't lose anyone.
That's just god clearing thepath for you.
Like I've noticed that in myjourney for me to get to where I
want to be and I'm stillcurrently going through the
process I'm still currentlygoing through a journey I
realized, realized that I didn'tlose anybody.
God just removed people thatwere not for me.
(05:19):
God removed people that neededto be let go.
God removed people that were adistraction, that was just
bringing bad energy to my life,that was just hurting me from my
growth.
And that's how y'all gotta lookat it.
Don't look at things likeyou're losing and all these bad
things is happening to you.
No, god is processing you.
He's preparing you for what youask for.
He's preparing you for what youwant in your life, to get to
(05:42):
where you want in your life,whether it's success, whether
it's wealthy, whether it's to behappy, whether it's to be
joyful, whether it's to havepeace.
You're gonna go through somethings.
It's not an easy path.
It's not an easy journey.
You're going to go through somethings In order to add to your
life.
You're going to have tosubtract For y'all that really
want to be successful and youguys have a vision you can't be
(06:03):
telling everybody, because whatI noticed is that people,
especially like your friends oreven family, they keep you boxed
in, they settled in their lifeor they don't believe in
themselves to reach theirpotential.
So they will project that ontoyou.
People will try to dim yourshine, people will try to shut
(06:23):
down your goals and that's why Ialways say you got to keep it
to yourself.
But you cannot be having thesepeople around you because these
people are going to feednegativity into you and you're
going to start to believe itPeople that you surround
yourself with, whether youbelieve it or not.
But you start to become likethat.
If you around people that arelazy, if you around people that
are broke, if you around peoplethat are just drama, you start
(06:46):
to attract that type of energyinto your life.
When I was around a friend thatshe always had drama, she
always played victim.
That energy was always cominginto my life because I was
always around her and, like whenI was around her, I was
mentally drained, I wasexhausted, I was so depressed
like she would bring myvibration so low.
So that's why I'm saying likeyou gotta put yourself first,
(07:08):
you gotta choose yourself.
And when you choose yourself,when you choose you, when you do
what is best for you, a lot ofpeople's not gonna like it.
When you want to do what makesyou happy, when you want to
climb the ladder, recognize thatgod is going to clear the path
for you.
You're going to lose peoplealong the way, and it's not that
you're losing people becausethese people weren't really
meant for you.
If you weren't losing them,that means that they would
(07:29):
appreciate, they would supportyou, they would celebrate, they
will make you happy.
But if they're not doing that,god is gonna remove them from
your path because they're gonnahurt you from growing, they're
gonna hurt you from succeeding.
In order to add to your life,you're going to have to subtract
, and that means people.
Maybe that's the environmentthat you're in, maybe that's the
friends that you surroundyourself with, maybe it's the
(07:49):
mindset that you're so used to.
Everything is all about energy,everything is about mindset,
and whatever you continue to bearound or whatever you continue
to believe, that's exactly whatyou're going to be.
And another thing I want to sayis that stop trying to fit in
with the crowd.
If you don't fit in.
You weren't meant to fit in.
You were meant to stand out.
You were meant to be different.
(08:09):
I don't follow the crowd.
I'm the one that I willseparate myself from me.
I will do whatever is best forme.
I will continue to believe inmy vision.
No one is going to stop that.
If you got people around youthat is just dreaming and they
have such a scarcity mindset,that's what you're going to
continue to believe.
You reap what you sow.
If you around people that arereally not good for you, you're
(08:31):
going to sow negativity intoyour subconscious, into your
life, into your habits.
So don't let people around yousilence you.
Don't let people silence yourpower.
Don't let other people dim yourlight.
Don't let other people controlyou.
Don't let people silence yourpower.
Don't let other people dim yourlight.
Don't let other people controlyou.
If you want to go somewhere inlife, if you have a vision for
yourself, if you want to do whatis best for you, then continue
to do that.
(08:52):
Don't let other people blockyour blessings.
Don't let any hater or anynaysayer stop you from you
becoming what you're meant to be.
A lot of that is justprojection, but that ain't got
nothing to do with you.
That's the life that they chose.
Don't mean that you have tosettle because everyone around
you has settled, and it's thesame in relationships, because
other people around you aretoxic relationships Don't mean
(09:15):
you got to copy.
Don't mean you got to follow.
Do what is best for you.
Always choose yourself first.
And that's all I got to say.
And if you like this content,please like, comment and
subscribe.
Also, check out my Amazonstorefront.
It's going to be linked in thedescription below and I'll be
back for more videos.
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