June 11, 2024 • 10 mins
Ever wondered why some relationships thrive while others seem constantly plagued by drama? What if the secret lies in how much you share with others? In today's episode, I tackle the often-overlooked importance of safeguarding your relationship and home from external influences that can bring negativity and chaos. Through compelling personal stories and family dynamics, I'll show you why it's vital to limit the number of people you let into your personal life. Drawing on experiences from our own relationships and those of our parents, I highlight how creating a sanctuary with your partner and children, free from too many external opinions, can lead to a happier and more peaceful home environment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
So one of my videos went viral on TikTok and I was
basically talking about why youshouldn't have everybody around
your relationship.
So I really want to talk aboutthis more specifically.
So this is exactly what I'msaying, ladies and gentlemen you
should not be having everybodyaround your relationship.
You cannot be trusting everyone.
I know I come from a big familyand I know as soon as everybody
(00:23):
is in my relationship, everyoneis involved.
Everyone is so nosy.
You cannot be trustingeverybody around your
relationship, especially if youguys are married.
The reason why my mom and my dadthey have a very successful and
they have a very happy marriage, but they aren't really happy
with each other and the reasonwhy is because they don't have a
lot of people in their homes.
My father puts my mom first andmy mom puts my dad first.
(00:45):
They don't have so many people,especially relatives, in their
homes.
They keep everybody away fromtheir relationship, away from
their marriage, and this is whyI always say you should always
keep people away from yourrelationship.
You should never have everybodyin your home every single week.
I don't care if it's a bestfriend, I don't care if it's a
relative.
Don't be having people insideof your home all the time.
(01:07):
You need to have that spacewith your partner.
It needs to be your sanctuary,that place of yours and your
partner and your kids.
That needs to be your peace.
So whenever outside negativityor outside trauma is going on,
don't bring that outside familydrama or outside unnecessary bs
inside of your home, because badenergy could really disrupt
(01:30):
good things that are happening.
Bad energy could just reallymess up someone's day.
From what I've been seeing isalways the friends that be
telling you oh, I would never dosuch a thing, that be doing it.
They're the ones who always beproving you wrong.
Like I told y'all in certain ofmy videos.
I never really talked about itspecifically but I had a friend
since elementary school.
Me and her were like sisters.
(01:52):
Since preschool and when I wasin high school I was with this
guy and while I was dating him,me and him would go through our
drama, me and him would gothrough our crap and she would
be the friend that I wouldconfide into.
She would be the friend that Iwould cry to.
You know she would always havesleepovers at my house, like me
and this girl.
We were really like sisters.
Come to find out when me andhim was going through so much.
(02:15):
When I was in the 12th gradeshe was dating him and she was
messing around with him and shewas sleeping with him.
So when I left him I alreadycut her off because I already
knew she was mad, weird and shewas just not someone I should be
trusting.
But she got with him rightafter I got with him and she was
still sleeping with him and shewas messing around with him.
I mean, long story short, theydidn't.
They never last.
(02:35):
He always apologizes to me.
He still apologizes to me tothis day.
I don't really care about it,but you can't be trusting
everybody.
It's always the people that youthink will never do something
to you be the ones that bestabbing you right in your back.
Not everybody around you wantsyou happy.
Not everybody around you wantsyour relationship or your
(02:56):
marriage to succeed.
My mom and my dad they have areally good marriage and my
mom's siblings.
Neither of them are in healthy,happy relationships.
They have toxic relationships.
Some of them went throughdivorces.
Some of them just got so muchdrama and negativity and because
they see my mom and my dad sohappy and that they're thriving
in their marriage, they betrying to mess my parents'
(03:18):
marriage up and I've been seeingthat since I was young.
Since I was young I had unclesand I had aunties trying to mess
up what my mom and my dad gotgoing on and I see that as
jealousy.
So I've been seeing that sinceI was young.
People don't really be happyfor you when you're happy, when
you're doing good, when you'redoing better than them.
Like your relationship shouldbe off limits.
(03:39):
I'm not saying that you can'thave family members around.
I'm not saying that you can'thave friends.
I'm saying don't have everybodyaround, don't have everyone in
your business, don't be havingyour neighbors in your business,
don't be having relatives.
Like I always said, relativesis not family.
You may be related to them, youmay see them every once in a
while doesn't mean that youtrust them, doesn't mean that
(03:59):
they should be in your home andinto your personal business.
Because when I was onrelationship and I would tell
outside relatives in my businesswhen me and him would make up,
when me and my partner wouldmake up, everybody just had that
negative perception about meand my partner.
And I remember when I would goto events or gatherings you know
people would talk about mybusiness because I told certain
(04:20):
people and it would just spreadaround and you never know who's
telling your business.
You don't want to have peoplearound.
That's going to disrupt yourhappiness, that's going to mess
up your peace, because thesepeople are in pieces or these
people are just not trustworthy,or these people just may have
so much drama going on in theirlife that they're bringing that
(04:41):
to your home.
That's another thing I'velearned now that I have a
daughter, now that I'm a singlemom.
Listen, if we're friends, ifwe're family, whatever, whatever
that you got going on in yourhousehold, when you come to my
household, don't bring thatdrama, don't bring that
negativity, because I don Don'tbring that negativity because I
don't want my daughter seeingthat, I don't want my daughter
feeling that and I don't want tofeel that energy in my home.
(05:02):
So that's something that youguys got to do.
You got to protect yourrelationship, you got to protect
your marriage and youdefinitely got to protect your
home.
Protect who goes in and out ofyour home.
Not everyone around you lovesyou for you.
Not everyone around you wantsyou to win.
Not everybody around you wantsto see you happy, wants to see
you thriving, wants to see youelevating.
Just because you're related tothese people or just because you
(05:24):
have family or just because youhave friends, don't mean they
all should be going inside ofyour home.
You need to protect yourhousehold, you need to protect
your kids, you need to protectyour relationship.
Y'all need to protect y'all.
Peace, peace right now is sohard.
It is so hard.
It's the most overpriced thingin the world.
You can't buy peace, you can'tbuy happiness.
That's something that comesfrom within and if you don't
(05:45):
have that man, you don't reallyhave anything.
One thing I noticed is thatpeople love when you're
heartbroken.
People love it when you're sad.
People love it when you'remiserable.
When I was going through aheartbreak, when I was going
through a breakup in myrelationship, everybody was
there to sit around and listento me crying all day and
listening to me being sad.
But as soon as I startedhealing, as soon as I started
(06:07):
doing what's best for me, what'sbest for my daughter, what's
best for my peace, nobody likedit.
Everybody's like oh, shechanged.
Oh, she don't want to hang outwith us anymore.
Oh, she thinks she's betterthan us.
Oh, she don't want to be aroundanymore.
No, I don't, because I'vehealed and I realized that when
I got rid of my ex, I got rid ofeverybody right after him,
because I got rid of people thatwere just phony.
(06:28):
I got rid of people that justdidn't want to see me win.
I got rid of people that didnot want to support me.
Like you got to pay attentionto the people that they're all
in your face when you're goingthrough your downfall.
They're all in your face whenyou're crying, because when
you're crying and when you're atyour rock bottom, when you're
at your lowest, I promise youyou're going to see more people
there for you and you're goingto see more people there for you
(06:49):
at the top.
I really, really noticed thatPeople say, oh, you don't know
who's there for you when you hitrock bottom.
No, you don't really know who'sthere for you when you reach to
the top, when you start toelevate, when you start doing
good, when you start to heal,that's when you see who's really
there for you.
When I was going through myheartbreak and I got rid of my
ex and I started doing myYouTube channel and I started
doing my podcast, that I thoughtthat was going to be there for
(07:14):
me, that was going to support me.
None of them supported me.
They would just look ateverything I do.
They would be all in my views,never in my likes Me.
When I saw that I was like yeah, these people are phony.
Like I got to get rid of thesepeople.
That's why you can't haveeveryone around your
relationship, around your home,just around you when you're
happy, when you're thriving,when you're at peace.
And I'm not saying you can'thave friends, I'm not saying you
should never have any family.
(07:35):
Just know who to have in yourcircle.
Know who to have in your home,because every spirit that walks
in your door is not a goodspirit.
These people be having bad,negative spirits and when they
leave out of your house you'rewondering why the energy in your
house is a little weird.
You know and you don't wantthat.
I'm very intuitive.
I tap into my discernment, Itap into my intuition and I'm
(07:56):
all about protecting my peace.
I'm all about breakinggenerational curves.
You got to be careful who yousurrounding yourself with,
especially when you're married.
You ever been to a vacationright which has significant
other?
You don't even have to bemarried.
The other couple was havingproblems in their trip.
You and your partner.
You're trying to mediate thesituation, try to be peaceful,
(08:17):
but you got to be careful whoyou have around you, who has
access to you.
Just because you're doing goodand you got people in your face
smiling, it does not mean thatthey're really happy for you.
And I've said this before whenI was with my ex and me and him
was going through our drama,there was so many people that
was just wishing for us to justbreak up, wishing for us to end.
(08:40):
You know it could be comingfrom a good place, but I learned
not to be telling nobody mybusiness anymore, not to be
telling anybody my relationshipanymore.
Now, if y'all in a relationshipand y'all know y'all
relationship is toxic and I'mnot talking about physical abuse
, I'm just talking about likeemotionally, mental, I'm just
talking about like therelationship is not good for you
(09:01):
.
Before you open up your mouthand tell your family and tell
your friends, make sure you endit with that person first before
you go opening up your mouth,because once you tell your
business, you tell your drama toother people.
They're going to add on to thedrama.
They're going to be like ohyeah, you should just leave this
person Like they're going tohype it up.
They're going to put thatbattery in your bag and it's
(09:22):
only going to make it worse.
Whatever you and your partnergot going on, even if you don't
want to break up with them, evenif you're not breaking up,
you're just going through arough time.
Try to keep that to yourself,because as soon as you're going
through a rough time or you'regoing through rough seasons,
people on the outside is goingto be like oh yeah, y'all should
just break up.
You're never happy.
They're already feeding on thatbad energy.
(09:42):
And then you're going to startto believe it, and whatever you
start to believe is what you'regoing to continue to see.
Relationships is not easy,especially if you want marriage.
Marriage is forever.
You don't just walk up and justleave that person because
you're going through tough times.
And pay attention to the peoplethat you surround yourself with
, because if they're inunhealthy relationships and
(10:03):
they're in toxic marriages orthere were partners that treat
them bad, they're going to giveyou bad advice.
They're going to give you badadvice.
Basically, what I'm trying tosay is don't be having everybody
around your relationship.
Don't be telling everybodyabout your relationship.
Always protect your loved ones,your peace, your home, your car
, your car.
Protect what you got.
(10:24):
Protect it.
You could be in the mosthappiest relationship.
Protect it.
Don't tell everybody thatyou're in the most happiest
relationship, becauseeverybody's not going to be
happy for you.
You know people are going to bewishing bad on you.
That is the content for todayand if you like this content,
please like, comment andsubscribe, and I'll be back for
more videos.
So one of my videos went viral on TikTok and I was
basically talking about why youshouldn't have everybody around
your relationship.
So I really want to talk aboutthis more specifically.
So this is exactly what I'msaying, ladies and gentlemen you
should not be having everybodyaround your relationship.
You cannot be trusting everyone.
I know I come from a big familyand I know as soon as everybody
(00:23):
is in my relationship, everyoneis involved.
Everyone is so nosy.
You cannot be trustingeverybody around your
relationship, especially if youguys are married.
The reason why my mom and my dadthey have a very successful and
they have a very happy marriage, but they aren't really happy
with each other and the reasonwhy is because they don't have a
lot of people in their homes.
My father puts my mom first andmy mom puts my dad first.
(00:45):
They don't have so many people,especially relatives, in their
homes.
They keep everybody away fromtheir relationship, away from
their marriage, and this is whyI always say you should always
keep people away from yourrelationship.
You should never have everybodyin your home every single week.
I don't care if it's a bestfriend, I don't care if it's a
relative.
Don't be having people insideof your home all the time.
(01:07):
You need to have that spacewith your partner.
It needs to be your sanctuary,that place of yours and your
partner and your kids.
That needs to be your peace.
So whenever outside negativityor outside trauma is going on,
don't bring that outside familydrama or outside unnecessary bs
inside of your home, because badenergy could really disrupt
(01:30):
good things that are happening.
Bad energy could just reallymess up someone's day.
From what I've been seeing isalways the friends that be
telling you oh, I would never dosuch a thing, that be doing it.
They're the ones who always beproving you wrong.
Like I told y'all in certain ofmy videos.
I never really talked about itspecifically but I had a friend
since elementary school.
Me and her were like sisters.
(01:52):
Since preschool and when I wasin high school I was with this
guy and while I was dating him,me and him would go through our
drama, me and him would gothrough our crap and she would
be the friend that I wouldconfide into.
She would be the friend that Iwould cry to.
You know she would always havesleepovers at my house, like me
and this girl.
We were really like sisters.
Come to find out when me andhim was going through so much.
(02:15):
When I was in the 12th gradeshe was dating him and she was
messing around with him and shewas sleeping with him.
So when I left him I alreadycut her off because I already
knew she was mad, weird and shewas just not someone I should be
trusting.
But she got with him rightafter I got with him and she was
still sleeping with him and shewas messing around with him.
I mean, long story short, theydidn't.
They never last.
(02:35):
He always apologizes to me.
He still apologizes to me tothis day.
I don't really care about it,but you can't be trusting
everybody.
It's always the people that youthink will never do something
to you be the ones that bestabbing you right in your back.
Not everybody around you wantsyou happy.
Not everybody around you wantsyour relationship or your
(02:56):
marriage to succeed.
My mom and my dad they have areally good marriage and my
mom's siblings.
Neither of them are in healthy,happy relationships.
They have toxic relationships.
Some of them went throughdivorces.
Some of them just got so muchdrama and negativity and because
they see my mom and my dad sohappy and that they're thriving
in their marriage, they betrying to mess my parents'
(03:18):
marriage up and I've been seeingthat since I was young.
Since I was young I had unclesand I had aunties trying to mess
up what my mom and my dad gotgoing on and I see that as
jealousy.
So I've been seeing that sinceI was young.
People don't really be happyfor you when you're happy, when
you're doing good, when you'redoing better than them.
Like your relationship shouldbe off limits.
(03:39):
I'm not saying that you can'thave family members around.
I'm not saying that you can'thave friends.
I'm saying don't have everybodyaround, don't have everyone in
your business, don't be havingyour neighbors in your business,
don't be having relatives.
Like I always said, relativesis not family.
You may be related to them, youmay see them every once in a
while doesn't mean that youtrust them, doesn't mean that
(03:59):
they should be in your home andinto your personal business.
Because when I was onrelationship and I would tell
outside relatives in my businesswhen me and him would make up,
when me and my partner wouldmake up, everybody just had that
negative perception about meand my partner.
And I remember when I would goto events or gatherings you know
people would talk about mybusiness because I told certain
(04:20):
people and it would just spreadaround and you never know who's
telling your business.
You don't want to have peoplearound.
That's going to disrupt yourhappiness, that's going to mess
up your peace, because thesepeople are in pieces or these
people are just not trustworthy,or these people just may have
so much drama going on in theirlife that they're bringing that
(04:41):
to your home.
That's another thing I'velearned now that I have a
daughter, now that I'm a singlemom.
Listen, if we're friends, ifwe're family, whatever, whatever
that you got going on in yourhousehold, when you come to my
household, don't bring thatdrama, don't bring that
negativity, because I don Don'tbring that negativity because I
don't want my daughter seeingthat, I don't want my daughter
feeling that and I don't want tofeel that energy in my home.
(05:02):
So that's something that youguys got to do.
You got to protect yourrelationship, you got to protect
your marriage and youdefinitely got to protect your
home.
Protect who goes in and out ofyour home.
Not everyone around you lovesyou for you.
Not everyone around you wantsyou to win.
Not everybody around you wantsto see you happy, wants to see
you thriving, wants to see youelevating.
Just because you're related tothese people or just because you
(05:24):
have family or just because youhave friends, don't mean they
all should be going inside ofyour home.
You need to protect yourhousehold, you need to protect
your kids, you need to protectyour relationship.
Y'all need to protect y'all.
Peace, peace right now is sohard.
It is so hard.
It's the most overpriced thingin the world.
You can't buy peace, you can'tbuy happiness.
That's something that comesfrom within and if you don't
(05:45):
have that man, you don't reallyhave anything.
One thing I noticed is thatpeople love when you're
heartbroken.
People love it when you're sad.
People love it when you'remiserable.
When I was going through aheartbreak, when I was going
through a breakup in myrelationship, everybody was
there to sit around and listento me crying all day and
listening to me being sad.
But as soon as I startedhealing, as soon as I started
(06:07):
doing what's best for me, what'sbest for my daughter, what's
best for my peace, nobody likedit.
Everybody's like oh, shechanged.
Oh, she don't want to hang outwith us anymore.
Oh, she thinks she's betterthan us.
Oh, she don't want to be aroundanymore.
No, I don't, because I'vehealed and I realized that when
I got rid of my ex, I got rid ofeverybody right after him,
because I got rid of people thatwere just phony.
(06:28):
I got rid of people that justdidn't want to see me win.
I got rid of people that didnot want to support me.
Like you got to pay attentionto the people that they're all
in your face when you're goingthrough your downfall.
They're all in your face whenyou're crying, because when
you're crying and when you're atyour rock bottom, when you're
at your lowest, I promise youyou're going to see more people
there for you and you're goingto see more people there for you
(06:49):
at the top.
I really, really noticed thatPeople say, oh, you don't know
who's there for you when you hitrock bottom.
No, you don't really know who'sthere for you when you reach to
the top, when you start toelevate, when you start doing
good, when you start to heal,that's when you see who's really
there for you.
When I was going through myheartbreak and I got rid of my
ex and I started doing myYouTube channel and I started
doing my podcast, that I thoughtthat was going to be there for
(07:14):
me, that was going to support me.
None of them supported me.
They would just look ateverything I do.
They would be all in my views,never in my likes Me.
When I saw that I was like yeah, these people are phony.
Like I got to get rid of thesepeople.
That's why you can't haveeveryone around your
relationship, around your home,just around you when you're
happy, when you're thriving,when you're at peace.
And I'm not saying you can'thave friends, I'm not saying you
should never have any family.
(07:35):
Just know who to have in yourcircle.
Know who to have in your home,because every spirit that walks
in your door is not a goodspirit.
These people be having bad,negative spirits and when they
leave out of your house you'rewondering why the energy in your
house is a little weird.
You know and you don't wantthat.
I'm very intuitive.
I tap into my discernment, Itap into my intuition and I'm
(07:56):
all about protecting my peace.
I'm all about breakinggenerational curves.
You got to be careful who yousurrounding yourself with,
especially when you're married.
You ever been to a vacationright which has significant
other?
You don't even have to bemarried.
The other couple was havingproblems in their trip.
You and your partner.
You're trying to mediate thesituation, try to be peaceful,
(08:17):
but you got to be careful whoyou have around you, who has
access to you.
Just because you're doing goodand you got people in your face
smiling, it does not mean thatthey're really happy for you.
And I've said this before whenI was with my ex and me and him
was going through our drama,there was so many people that
was just wishing for us to justbreak up, wishing for us to end.
(08:40):
You know it could be comingfrom a good place, but I learned
not to be telling nobody mybusiness anymore, not to be
telling anybody my relationshipanymore.
Now, if y'all in a relationshipand y'all know y'all
relationship is toxic and I'mnot talking about physical abuse
, I'm just talking about likeemotionally, mental, I'm just
talking about like therelationship is not good for you
(09:01):
.
Before you open up your mouthand tell your family and tell
your friends, make sure you endit with that person first before
you go opening up your mouth,because once you tell your
business, you tell your drama toother people.
They're going to add on to thedrama.
They're going to be like ohyeah, you should just leave this
person Like they're going tohype it up.
They're going to put thatbattery in your bag and it's
(09:22):
only going to make it worse.
Whatever you and your partnergot going on, even if you don't
want to break up with them, evenif you're not breaking up,
you're just going through arough time.
Try to keep that to yourself,because as soon as you're going
through a rough time or you'regoing through rough seasons,
people on the outside is goingto be like oh yeah, y'all should
just break up.
You're never happy.
They're already feeding on thatbad energy.
(09:42):
And then you're going to startto believe it, and whatever you
start to believe is what you'regoing to continue to see.
Relationships is not easy,especially if you want marriage.
Marriage is forever.
You don't just walk up and justleave that person because
you're going through tough times.
And pay attention to the peoplethat you surround yourself with
, because if they're inunhealthy relationships and
(10:03):
they're in toxic marriages orthere were partners that treat
them bad, they're going to giveyou bad advice.
They're going to give you badadvice.
Basically, what I'm trying tosay is don't be having everybody
around your relationship.
Don't be telling everybodyabout your relationship.
Always protect your loved ones,your peace, your home, your car
, your car.
Protect what you got.
(10:24):
Protect it.
You could be in the mosthappiest relationship.
Protect it.
Don't tell everybody thatyou're in the most happiest
relationship, becauseeverybody's not going to be
happy for you.
You know people are going to bewishing bad on you.
That is the content for todayand if you like this content,
please like, comment andsubscribe, and I'll be back for
more videos.
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