February 1, 2024 ā¢ 10 mins
Ever noticed a shift in the air when you share good news with a friend, only for their congratulations to seem a little less than genuine? It's as if you can almost hear the unspoken "but..." lingering in their response. That's the tangled web of jealousy and competition we're pulling apart, layer by nuanced layer, in our latest episode. I'll guide you through the murky waters of envy in friendships, spotlighting the sometimes imperceptible signs that a friend might begrudge your successes. From the sting of backhanded compliments to the schadenfreude lurking beneath their sympathy during your tough times, we're putting the spotlight on these uncomfortable realities, backed by personal accounts that hit close to home.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
So these are signs that your friends are not your
friends and they are secretlyjealous of you.
So sign number one is when yourfriends are just giving you a
hard time giving you acompliment or praising you.
Like you guys ever walked intoa birthday party or an event and
everyone was like oh my god,you look so nice.
(00:20):
That friend, that one specificfriend, is just like oh, I have
that dress, oh, I have thatoutfit.
I was wearing that outfit theother day.
I was killing it.
She can't give you a compliment,but she know everyone else is
giving you a compliment becauseshe knows, genuinely, privately,
you look really nice.
She just doesn't want to giveyou a compliment because she's
just an insecure person.
(00:40):
She makes the whole topic, shemakes the whole moment all about
her.
It kills her to say somethingnice to you.
That's how you know you got afriend that don't like you and
is jealous of you and you got tobe careful with these kind of
friends because they aredangerous.
They're the ones who alwayshave secret animosity towards
you.
I hated it when I would walkinto a room and I would tell my
(01:01):
friend like oh my god, you lookso cute, you look so nice and
she'll be like, right, thank you.
And like it would kill her.
It would kill her to saysomething so nice to me or to
uplift me or to encourage me,but then, when everyone else is
doing it around me, she justchanges the topic so fast, like
you guys ever been in a roomwhere people would be like, oh
my god, you look so nice, youlook so pretty today, and like
(01:23):
she would change the topic sofast.
And you ask her like hey, doyou think I look nice in this
office?
And she's like, yeah, soanyways, like she just changes
the topic so fast.
That's how you know that persondo not like you, that person
don't want the best for you,that person don't have good
intentions for you and theysecretly hate in on you.
Number two when you are at yourrock bottom, you guys are
(01:45):
bonding more, you guys arelaughing more, you guys are
smiling more.
Isn't it weird that when we gothrough tough things in our life
, especially adversity orchallenge, your friend or your
family member really bonds withyou more?
Like, let's say, you just gotout of a breakup and you're
crying to your friend or youcrying to your relative and
they're just listening to you.
(02:06):
They are so entertained by yourmisery.
They are so entertained by yourdownfall.
They're giving you that littlepep talk oh yeah, you're going
to be fine.
I told you this was going tohappen.
You should have listened to me.
You should have taken my advice.
This is what happens when younever listened to me and when
you are at your lowest moment,you guys are bonding more.
Like you feel like you guys areso much closer because that
(02:30):
friend or that relative or thatfamily member, they are very
intrigued by your misery.
They're very intrigued by yourdrama.
They are entertained that youare at your lowest point.
Imagine you are at your lowestpoint and someone is just
constantly there for you.
Like, how are you feeling now?
Are you still crying?
Are you still miserable?
Are you still crying about thatdude?
(02:50):
Are you mad because your momthrew you out?
Like, they're constantly likekind of throwing it in your face
and they're checking up on youconsistently, you know, just to
see if you're still crying, ifyou're still failing, if you're
still at your lowest low.
Now, when you start climbing tothe top, when you start getting
out of your rock bottom and youstart getting over that breakup
and you start getting that newjob and you losing weight and
(03:12):
you doing good for yourself,your friend is like looking at
you a little bit funny, like, oh, you acting a little bit weird.
Now you switching up, like whyare you not calling me anymore,
why are you not really around meanymore?
And you trying to just dobetter for yourself and you
trying to level up, you tryingto heal, you trying to grow from
your lows, and your friend isliterally like getting pissed
off because she sees you're notvulnerable, you're not in a dark
(03:34):
place anymore, so your successis threatening her.
Y'all friendship feels so good.
Y'all feel like y'all are soclose when you're doing that.
But when you're doing good andyou starting to get stronger,
you starting to heal fromanything that hurts you or puts
you down, she sees it like athreat.
She sees it like, oh, you'rechanging up, oh, you think that
you're better than her.
(03:55):
Like, oh, now you acting weird,now you acting funny because
you got a new job, because yougot a new man, or something like
that.
Like those are the kind offriends that they do not like
you, they don't want what's bestfor you and they secretly
hating on you.
So I'm gonna give you anotherexample of that.
I remember when I was in highschool I was bawling my eyes out
of my first boyfriend and I hada feeling that my closest
(04:16):
friend at that moment, she hadlike a low key crush on him,
because every time me and himwould argue, she would always
take his side in front of myface, but privately she would be
on my side, which I alwaysthought that was kind of weird.
I always thought that was kindof funny.
But I remember like I wouldalways cry, she'll just let me
cry and then she'll be like okay, okay, let's do something else,
let's just forget about it.
(04:37):
She would do it in a harsh wayand then I remember like I was
getting over the breakup and atthis point in my life, like that
ex he was already moved on toanother girl.
She will always throw that newrelationship in my face.
She'll be like, oh, but hemoved on to this girl, she's
pretty, she got a job.
Like she would always throw thatin my face and I'm like what
kind of friend would do that?
Like, what kind of friend wouldthrow like my hurt, my pain, in
(05:00):
my face?
Like that, because I'm healingfrom my relationship, what gives
you the right to throw that inmy face?
And that's how you know you gotfriends in your life or you got
family in your life that theydon't like you.
They don't want what's best foryou, because if they're quick
to see you doing better andyou're healing and you're not
bothered by the BS no more butthey want to throw that same
(05:22):
hurt in your face.
That's how you know they hateand know of you.
That's how you know you got afriend in me, in your face and
you got to really watch out.
Pay attention to the sign, sis.
Another sign you got friendsthat do not like you or they're
just secretly hating off you isyeah, ever for ladies, because
this content is really forladies.
So, yeah, ever like like theguy and all of a sudden, like
(05:43):
you bring this guy kind ofaround your friends and your
friends will do anything to likeembarrass you in front of him.
So, for example, they willbring up something that
privately happened between youand your friends at a private
time.
They will bring it up in frontof his face so they can
embarrass you.
So, for example, I rememberwhen I was dating someone and I
was in large friend groups, theydid not all want the best for
(06:04):
me.
But when I would bring my guyover, they would bring up the
time where I picked my nose inthe bathroom or the time I was
throwing up in the sleepover,like you, just not bringing up
the time like I was throwing upat a sleepover because I got
drunk.
Make it make sense.
This is how you know.
This is exactly what I'mtalking about, ladies.
Let's say, you bring the guyyou're dating or the guy that
you like around, your friends oryour relatives.
(06:26):
They'd be like girl, there'ssomething on your teeth, there's
something in your hair.
Like, go fix your hair, go fixyour teeth, you got something in
your teeth.
Why would you embarrass me likethat?
Why would you embarrass yourfriend like that?
If that's really your friend orthat's someone you really love
and someone you really respect,you know you will give them the
eye, you will give them the codelike you know.
Like going to the bathroom,let's clean up.
But you wouldn't be like, oh,you got something in your teeth,
(06:49):
or you got something in yourhair, there's something on your
pants.
You wouldn't do something likethat just to try to embarrass
her, just to make the energy inthe room.
I'm all about you now making funof your friend.
One, that's bullying.
Two, it's not funny.
And three, you just a hater.
You just a hater because a realfriend, a real family member, a
real person will neverembarrass you like that, will
(07:10):
never make anyone make you feellow.
A real friend in your cornerwill never try to make you feel
low, especially in front ofsomeone that you like or someone
that you're dating.
A real person is gonna be like,oh, let's go to the bathroom
real quick.
And they're gonna tell you like, oh, fix your hair, fix your
teeth, something.
But for you to just do that soloud and obnoxious.
Now I know you just a hater.
Now I know you just wannaembarrass me and make fun of me
(07:32):
and make this guy not like meand make this guy look at me
some type of way.
So, ladies, just be carefulbecause sometimes the jealousy
isn't them jokes, it be in thosehidden jokes and you gotta
catch on and you gotta pee gamereal fast.
Another sign you got peoplearound you that do not like you,
that are secretly hating offyou, is when you got goals, when
(07:54):
you got visions, when you wannalevel up in your life, when you
wanna elevate.
You got people that just belike oh you're bougie.
Like, why you think like that?
Humble yourself, maybe youshould humble yourself a little
bit.
Or you think you're better thaneveryone else?
Like, maybe you should humbleyourself.
And it's like when you havepeople like that in your circle
one, you're not bougie.
Number two you should neverhumble yourself.
(08:15):
The reason why they saying thatis because they're projecting
their own insecurity onto you.
They gave up on their dreams,they gave up on their vision.
So of course it's gonnairritate them when they see you
trying to do better, when yougot big goals, when you got big
visions.
That's why you always gottakeep your goals to yourself.
Keep it very silent.
Don't tell anyone, because thenext person is not gonna believe
(08:37):
in your vision the way youbelieve in it.
That vision wasn't put on them.
That vision was put on you,especially when you got people
that they just want to staystagnant and they don't want to
do better for themselves andthey are okay being mediocre.
Don't ever tell them your goals.
Don't ever tell them yourvision, because they want you at
the same level that they are at.
If they're living paycheck topaycheck, if they're collecting
(08:58):
food stamps, that's exactlywhere they want you.
They don't want you to grow.
They don't want you to dobetter.
This is how you know you gotpeople that really don't like
you.
So when they see opportunitiesthat are for you but they don't
even want to tell you about it,they keep it quiet.
For example, let's say some ofyou guys are into modeling or
you guys are into podcasts.
If they see opportunities onsocial media or in their college
(09:22):
or in their school or in theirworkplace, they're not going to
put you on.
They're not going to put you on.
They're going to keep it tothemselves because they don't
want your success to surpasstheir goals.
They don't want your success tobe better than theirs.
They don't want you to flourish.
That's what it is, especiallywithout them.
They do not want you toflourish.
They do not want you in yourhighest element.
They don't want you doingbigger things for yourself.
(09:44):
Real friends, real family isgoing to put you on.
Those that gate keep it'sbecause they know you got the
potential to do so much better.
They know that you got thepotential to rise, to elevate,
to become the highest version ofyourself, and they don't want
you to have that attention.
So if they are gate keepingopportunities from you, it's
because they really do not wantthe best for you.
(10:06):
To my girlies that watch thiscontent please like, comment and
subscribe, and I'll be back formore videos.
So these are signs that your friends are not your
friends and they are secretlyjealous of you.
So sign number one is when yourfriends are just giving you a
hard time giving you acompliment or praising you.
Like you guys ever walked intoa birthday party or an event and
everyone was like oh my god,you look so nice.
(00:20):
That friend, that one specificfriend, is just like oh, I have
that dress, oh, I have thatoutfit.
I was wearing that outfit theother day.
I was killing it.
She can't give you a compliment,but she know everyone else is
giving you a compliment becauseshe knows, genuinely, privately,
you look really nice.
She just doesn't want to giveyou a compliment because she's
just an insecure person.
(00:40):
She makes the whole topic, shemakes the whole moment all about
her.
It kills her to say somethingnice to you.
That's how you know you got afriend that don't like you and
is jealous of you and you got tobe careful with these kind of
friends because they aredangerous.
They're the ones who alwayshave secret animosity towards
you.
I hated it when I would walkinto a room and I would tell my
(01:01):
friend like oh my god, you lookso cute, you look so nice and
she'll be like, right, thank you.
And like it would kill her.
It would kill her to saysomething so nice to me or to
uplift me or to encourage me,but then, when everyone else is
doing it around me, she justchanges the topic so fast, like
you guys ever been in a roomwhere people would be like, oh
my god, you look so nice, youlook so pretty today, and like
(01:23):
she would change the topic sofast.
And you ask her like hey, doyou think I look nice in this
office?
And she's like, yeah, soanyways, like she just changes
the topic so fast.
That's how you know that persondo not like you, that person
don't want the best for you,that person don't have good
intentions for you and theysecretly hate in on you.
Number two when you are at yourrock bottom, you guys are
(01:45):
bonding more, you guys arelaughing more, you guys are
smiling more.
Isn't it weird that when we gothrough tough things in our life
, especially adversity orchallenge, your friend or your
family member really bonds withyou more?
Like, let's say, you just gotout of a breakup and you're
crying to your friend or youcrying to your relative and
they're just listening to you.
(02:06):
They are so entertained by yourmisery.
They are so entertained by yourdownfall.
They're giving you that littlepep talk oh yeah, you're going
to be fine.
I told you this was going tohappen.
You should have listened to me.
You should have taken my advice.
This is what happens when younever listened to me and when
you are at your lowest moment,you guys are bonding more.
Like you feel like you guys areso much closer because that
(02:30):
friend or that relative or thatfamily member, they are very
intrigued by your misery.
They're very intrigued by yourdrama.
They are entertained that youare at your lowest point.
Imagine you are at your lowestpoint and someone is just
constantly there for you.
Like, how are you feeling now?
Are you still crying?
Are you still miserable?
Are you still crying about thatdude?
(02:50):
Are you mad because your momthrew you out?
Like, they're constantly likekind of throwing it in your face
and they're checking up on youconsistently, you know, just to
see if you're still crying, ifyou're still failing, if you're
still at your lowest low.
Now, when you start climbing tothe top, when you start getting
out of your rock bottom and youstart getting over that breakup
and you start getting that newjob and you losing weight and
(03:12):
you doing good for yourself,your friend is like looking at
you a little bit funny, like, oh, you acting a little bit weird.
Now you switching up, like whyare you not calling me anymore,
why are you not really around meanymore?
And you trying to just dobetter for yourself and you
trying to level up, you tryingto heal, you trying to grow from
your lows, and your friend isliterally like getting pissed
off because she sees you're notvulnerable, you're not in a dark
(03:34):
place anymore, so your successis threatening her.
Y'all friendship feels so good.
Y'all feel like y'all are soclose when you're doing that.
But when you're doing good andyou starting to get stronger,
you starting to heal fromanything that hurts you or puts
you down, she sees it like athreat.
She sees it like, oh, you'rechanging up, oh, you think that
you're better than her.
(03:55):
Like, oh, now you acting weird,now you acting funny because
you got a new job, because yougot a new man, or something like
that.
Like those are the kind offriends that they do not like
you, they don't want what's bestfor you and they secretly
hating on you.
So I'm gonna give you anotherexample of that.
I remember when I was in highschool I was bawling my eyes out
of my first boyfriend and I hada feeling that my closest
(04:16):
friend at that moment, she hadlike a low key crush on him,
because every time me and himwould argue, she would always
take his side in front of myface, but privately she would be
on my side, which I alwaysthought that was kind of weird.
I always thought that was kindof funny.
But I remember like I wouldalways cry, she'll just let me
cry and then she'll be like okay, okay, let's do something else,
let's just forget about it.
(04:37):
She would do it in a harsh wayand then I remember like I was
getting over the breakup and atthis point in my life, like that
ex he was already moved on toanother girl.
She will always throw that newrelationship in my face.
She'll be like, oh, but hemoved on to this girl, she's
pretty, she got a job.
Like she would always throw thatin my face and I'm like what
kind of friend would do that?
Like, what kind of friend wouldthrow like my hurt, my pain, in
(05:00):
my face?
Like that, because I'm healingfrom my relationship, what gives
you the right to throw that inmy face?
And that's how you know you gotfriends in your life or you got
family in your life that theydon't like you.
They don't want what's best foryou, because if they're quick
to see you doing better andyou're healing and you're not
bothered by the BS no more butthey want to throw that same
(05:22):
hurt in your face.
That's how you know they hateand know of you.
That's how you know you got afriend in me, in your face and
you got to really watch out.
Pay attention to the sign, sis.
Another sign you got friendsthat do not like you or they're
just secretly hating off you isyeah, ever for ladies, because
this content is really forladies.
So, yeah, ever like like theguy and all of a sudden, like
(05:43):
you bring this guy kind ofaround your friends and your
friends will do anything to likeembarrass you in front of him.
So, for example, they willbring up something that
privately happened between youand your friends at a private
time.
They will bring it up in frontof his face so they can
embarrass you.
So, for example, I rememberwhen I was dating someone and I
was in large friend groups, theydid not all want the best for
(06:04):
me.
But when I would bring my guyover, they would bring up the
time where I picked my nose inthe bathroom or the time I was
throwing up in the sleepover,like you, just not bringing up
the time like I was throwing upat a sleepover because I got
drunk.
Make it make sense.
This is how you know.
This is exactly what I'mtalking about, ladies.
Let's say, you bring the guyyou're dating or the guy that
you like around, your friends oryour relatives.
(06:26):
They'd be like girl, there'ssomething on your teeth, there's
something in your hair.
Like, go fix your hair, go fixyour teeth, you got something in
your teeth.
Why would you embarrass me likethat?
Why would you embarrass yourfriend like that?
If that's really your friend orthat's someone you really love
and someone you really respect,you know you will give them the
eye, you will give them the codelike you know.
Like going to the bathroom,let's clean up.
But you wouldn't be like, oh,you got something in your teeth,
(06:49):
or you got something in yourhair, there's something on your
pants.
You wouldn't do something likethat just to try to embarrass
her, just to make the energy inthe room.
I'm all about you now making funof your friend.
One, that's bullying.
Two, it's not funny.
And three, you just a hater.
You just a hater because a realfriend, a real family member, a
real person will neverembarrass you like that, will
(07:10):
never make anyone make you feellow.
A real friend in your cornerwill never try to make you feel
low, especially in front ofsomeone that you like or someone
that you're dating.
A real person is gonna be like,oh, let's go to the bathroom
real quick.
And they're gonna tell you like, oh, fix your hair, fix your
teeth, something.
But for you to just do that soloud and obnoxious.
Now I know you just a hater.
Now I know you just wannaembarrass me and make fun of me
(07:32):
and make this guy not like meand make this guy look at me
some type of way.
So, ladies, just be carefulbecause sometimes the jealousy
isn't them jokes, it be in thosehidden jokes and you gotta
catch on and you gotta pee gamereal fast.
Another sign you got peoplearound you that do not like you,
that are secretly hating offyou, is when you got goals, when
(07:54):
you got visions, when you wannalevel up in your life, when you
wanna elevate.
You got people that just belike oh you're bougie.
Like, why you think like that?
Humble yourself, maybe youshould humble yourself a little
bit.
Or you think you're better thaneveryone else?
Like, maybe you should humbleyourself.
And it's like when you havepeople like that in your circle
one, you're not bougie.
Number two you should neverhumble yourself.
(08:15):
The reason why they saying thatis because they're projecting
their own insecurity onto you.
They gave up on their dreams,they gave up on their vision.
So of course it's gonnairritate them when they see you
trying to do better, when yougot big goals, when you got big
visions.
That's why you always gottakeep your goals to yourself.
Keep it very silent.
Don't tell anyone, because thenext person is not gonna believe
(08:37):
in your vision the way youbelieve in it.
That vision wasn't put on them.
That vision was put on you,especially when you got people
that they just want to staystagnant and they don't want to
do better for themselves andthey are okay being mediocre.
Don't ever tell them your goals.
Don't ever tell them yourvision, because they want you at
the same level that they are at.
If they're living paycheck topaycheck, if they're collecting
(08:58):
food stamps, that's exactlywhere they want you.
They don't want you to grow.
They don't want you to dobetter.
This is how you know you gotpeople that really don't like
you.
So when they see opportunitiesthat are for you but they don't
even want to tell you about it,they keep it quiet.
For example, let's say some ofyou guys are into modeling or
you guys are into podcasts.
If they see opportunities onsocial media or in their college
(09:22):
or in their school or in theirworkplace, they're not going to
put you on.
They're not going to put you on.
They're going to keep it tothemselves because they don't
want your success to surpasstheir goals.
They don't want your success tobe better than theirs.
They don't want you to flourish.
That's what it is, especiallywithout them.
They do not want you toflourish.
They do not want you in yourhighest element.
They don't want you doingbigger things for yourself.
(09:44):
Real friends, real family isgoing to put you on.
Those that gate keep it'sbecause they know you got the
potential to do so much better.
They know that you got thepotential to rise, to elevate,
to become the highest version ofyourself, and they don't want
you to have that attention.
So if they are gate keepingopportunities from you, it's
because they really do not wantthe best for you.
(10:06):
To my girlies that watch thiscontent please like, comment and
subscribe, and I'll be back formore videos.
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