July 4, 2025 • 48 mins
Yes, you read the title correctly, it's an episode about US and other world governments attempting to create a real-life "gaydar" machine and/or a system to identify gay people. I wish I were making this up.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hey, hey, welcome back to Autumn Zodities. I'm Autumn. Well.
I got back from Portland, Oregon, not Maine, at around
two am, so roughly like twelve hours ago from when
I'm recording. So today's episode is it's gonna be an
absurd one. Nothing high stakes, you know, just some really stupid,
(00:54):
kind of ignorant ideas from what I assume are very
smart people. Without further ado, ladies, gentlemen, and others, I
present to you Gadar. In the nineteen fifties, there was
real danger afoot. The Communists, as our brave senators warned us,
(01:15):
had infiltrated the governments of the democratic world, and they
brought with them their most powerful weapon, the gays. As
Senator Kenneth Weary told the American people, only the most
naive could believe that the Communists' fifth column in the
United States would neglect to propagate and use homosexuals to
(01:35):
gain their treacherous ends. I told you there's going to
be some pretty ignorant shit. But it's funny the things
that scientists and doctors were able to come up with.
We needed this is still a senator talking. We needed
a device that could weed out these wily gays from
their patriotic heteropeers. Their mission was clear. They needed a
(01:57):
real life, fully functioning GAYDAR. The best minds in the
world got to work, and they didn't just stop in
America like this wasn't the only place in the world
attempting to build a GAYDAR. And the nineteen fifties, you
would think maybe that's when that would have stopped, but
it didn't in many parts of the world. In fact,
(02:18):
the best and the brightest are working to build one
even today. In nineteen fifty the best minds of the
US Senate, which you know are better than they are now.
Everyone's brains erotted now, were organized into a special task
force they called the Hoey Committee. Hoe Y, I hope
(02:39):
they had jackets made their mission to identify and root
out the insidious gaze hiding throughout America. And I'm saying
it like that because I myself am not straight. I
am a bisexual woman leaning more towards lesbian. I am
married to a man, but he is about the extent
of what I like and men. So I'm saying this
(03:02):
all jokingly. So it would not, as they quickly learned,
be as easy as they'd imagined, you know, because gayser wiley. Right,
they already said it. Senator Margaret Smith, during a meeting
with America's top medical minds, disappointedly asked, there's no quick
test like an X ray that discloses these things. And
X ray lady, first of all, like most X rays
(03:25):
look at bones, some look at tendons and muscles. But
you think that gainess is hiding in bones and tendons
and muscles. Again, some ignorant shit here, to her dismay,
the Surgeon General explained that homosexuality didn't show up on
most X rays. And most X rays, he said, And
(03:45):
I'm like, well, which ones do they show up on?
What does homosexuality show up on? What does it look like? Again,
this was the fifties. They didn't have the slightest clue
really about much of anything. And again, X like they
probably weren't even safe at the time. Nothing was regulated
back then, so I don't know what they could have
(04:07):
possibly been x ering. He the Surgeon General at least
was answering their questions, and most medical experts, for whatever reason,
rambled on with some nonsense about sexuality being complicated and
fluid and refused to hand over the machine the senators
apparently hoped would make all gay men in America start
(04:28):
glowing with the neon red light, so quite literally. I
don't know. Maybe that's where the phrase flaming homosexual originates from.
Like that, Okay, that's actually I wonder I didn't check
into that, But now that I think about it, I
will after I finish recording this episode, and I'll let
you know in the next one. After two years of research,
(04:50):
the Hoee Committee identified some fool proof facts about homosexuals. Though.
This is what they learned. Gay men, they announced could
be identified through a few clues. Here they are, they
were unmarried, They seldom refused to talk about themselves, and
they tended to have what the council called prissy habits.
(05:11):
And as we now know, lavender marriages were a thing
back then. We're gay men and women because it was
not legal to be gay, married each other because they're like, well,
I know I'm safe from you know, you try and
have sex with me because you're not interested. That was
very common, So the whole they're unmarried thing was kind
of a false equivalency there. They started a complex system
(05:33):
for tracking, eliminating, and destroying the lives of gay men,
and they seem to only think for some odd reason
that men are gay, but it's neither here nor there,
often crushing them so fully that they drove them to suicide.
So this is just horrendous. Like, again, who does it affect?
Who does someone else's sexuality directly affect? In what way
(05:57):
does it affect you? They get no special tree in
a lot of states, no protected status against discrimination based
on their sexuality. How does it affect anyone? Really? Truly?
I would like an explanation to anyone who you know
is a bigot, Please explain to me, enlighten me, enlighten
(06:20):
me as to how someone else's sexuality affects you personally.
And I don't want to hear anything about, well, they're
grooming the children. No. Even Tim Tebow, white Christian football player,
man came out in a recent interview he's working with
a trafficking organization and he said statistics out loud that
we've all known forever. And I was stunned because the
(06:44):
you know, talking head that he was doing the interview
with didn't have much to say about it. He said,
overwhelmingly and again, we all know this. Statistically, pedophiles are
white straight males, and even more often they're related to
their victim. Yeah, like, these are again statistics. It's not
an opinion, it's a fact. We all need to start
(07:06):
dealing in fact and stop just letting emotions and just
ignorant ask biasesweigh outweigh fact. The fact is most pedophiles
are white straight men. We all know this. And that's
not to say every there's so seriously I love how
(07:28):
like every oh, everybody's so sensitive. No, I'm not saying
every straight white man is a pedophile. Statistically, people who
are pedophiles happen to be white straight men. Again, if
it doesn't have anything to do with you, don't worry
about it. Everybody's always like no, no, nol men, no,
(07:51):
no mean okay, great, I'm glad not you. But overwhelmingly
this is who you need to look out for and
people that are really I handed to the children. It's okay.
I'm not gonna keep going, but we need to start
dealing in facts, like the Internet has. Social media has
rotted everyone's brains chat GPT, which isn't right most of
(08:15):
the time, Like, it's wrong a lot. I can't stand
seeing people use that as like a source. Chat GPT
is not a source. It learns based on what you do,
so it's pretty much as smart as you are, like
slightly smarter. But you know what I mean. Like and
if I'm wrong, I really don't care because I'm not
gonna use AI to search things. Number one, it's gonna
(08:37):
kill our entire planet. And if you think I'm if
you think I'm like overreacting or being alarmist, I'm not.
This shit is horrible, horrible for the environment. The output
of pollution UH is just unreal, and the water usage
for AI and everyone's using it to search the dumbest
(08:59):
shit you've ever seen in your life. Just stop. You
don't need to do that. A regular Google search will
suffice hell. Pick up a book, a paper book. Jesus H. Christ,
what's happening? And this is going to release on July fourth.
And somebody's gonna be like anti American. I'm not anti American.
You know what America stands for? I do. I know
(09:21):
all about America. I know the Constitution inside and out.
I have a fucking law degree. I'm not playing this
game anymore. We dealing in facts. I knew I was
gonna go off on a rant today. I've been traveling
and you know, just again the world in general. Anyway,
So they started a complex system for tracking, which is horrendous,
(09:42):
and we've seen it before and we're seeing it again,
and it caused a lot of suicides because people didn't
want to be outed, because you know, back then it
meant you lost your job, you lost everything, and really,
you know, not a moment too soon. As their report warned,
gay was contagious. Contagious, Okay, I want to help. Someone
was quoted as saying, one homosexual can pollute a government office.
(10:04):
How so they're probably just going to decorate it and
be funny and bring in things, you know, baked goods
and whatnot. What's the problem. Meanwhile, north of the border,
the Canadians, so like I said, it wasn't just Americans
who were being ignorant focks. It was also the Canadians
and many others I'm gonna get into it, were hard
at work on a special machine that they were convinced
(10:27):
could identify any gay man. And again they seem to
only focus on men. They called it, get ready, this
is bad. They called it the fruit machine. Yeah, which
in the nineteen sixties was something that you could name
a machine and nobody would have a problem with it.
And I feel like people would cheer for that now,
(10:47):
which is ridiculous. So the fruit Machine was a gigantic device,
described by those who have seen it as looking like
something out of science fiction. It had multiple cameras, giant
steel girders, and a special screen designed to project gay porn.
(11:08):
A suspected homosexual would be called into the security officials
office and told, we have evidence that you may be
a homosexual. What do you have to say about this?
If they denied it, the fruit Machine would be their judge.
They would be strapped in and shown a series of
mundane images which were every now and then spliced with
(11:30):
the odd picture of I guess a naked man or
something like that. While they watched, the researchers would measure
their pulse, skin reflexes, breathing, and pupillary response. And I
think they're just checking to see if they got a boner.
All that to say, yeah, they liked it, they were
stimulated by it. If your pupils expanded on the site
(11:53):
of gay porn, it meant that the pictures of naked
men excited you, or that the photo was perhaps a
little bit too dark because eyes also dilate in different
kinds of light. Good God, or maybe you know that
you were surprised, or probably nothing at all, since most
tests showed the fruit machine was wildly ineffective. Yeah, I'm
(12:15):
sure it wasn't effective. All the senators are in there,
they get in the fruit machine, every single one of
them pops a boner and they're like, this thing's broken.
It's like, no, I think. I think you just have
some some issues that you need to work out on
your own. Still, the Canadian government was nothing if not cautious.
Even if the machine didn't work, they forced everyone who
(12:36):
failed its test to resign from their jobs. Thereby, this
is what they thought saving Canada from the horrors of
having homosexuals walk through its streets, leading normal, healthy lives,
minding their own business, contributing to the economy, and living
their lives without hurting anyone. For the most part, the
(12:58):
United States Park Police played us special role in America's
mission to weed out homosexuals in government. They were put
on a special task force when the government received some
pretty hot intel providing an insight into the mind of
the homosexual man and get ready for it. It's big news.
Gay guys love parks. This groundbreaking stuff, really science. The
(13:23):
park police were expanded, with countless more officers brought in
to help them with their missions, which included weeding out
quote sex perverts, start with the pedophiles, and being gay
does not meaning you are a pedophile. It's a false equivalency. Again,
straight white men overwhelmingly are the pedophiles. Parks the government
had learned were popular cruising spots for gay men. Well, yeah,
(13:47):
because you've outlawed being gay, and so they have to
do it anonymously in random places so they don't get caught.
They needed a team to watch them. One group of
park police spent twelve hours from dusk to dawn staring
at the bathroom in Lafayette Park and placing bets on
whether or not the visitors were gay. In their report
(14:10):
to Congress, they declared, quote, I do not believe a
half a dozen legitimate persons go in there to answer
nature's call. God forbid somebody use the bathroom. No, Oh,
they couldn't possibly be in there going to a toilet, Like,
give me a break. Seriously, this is what money, government
money was, and the kind of things that still you know,
(14:31):
our budget is being spent ons insanity. Thanks to their
tireless efforts, the US government came to a very important conclusion.
Pretty much anyone who goes to the bathroom in a
public park can be assumed to be a homosexual. And
they took that intel very seriously, even firing a CIA
(14:51):
employee on the charge that they had been spotted hanging
around men's room in a park. God forbid. J Edgar Hoover,
who again there were rumors that he liked to cross
dress occasionally and was probably himself gay, personally pushed to
the FBI into leading what he called the sex debates program.
(15:15):
Put yourself on that listro for decades, they would stop
wasting so much time tracking down organized crime and domestic
terrorists and rapists and murderers, and instead they'd focus their
resources on America's real threat, the gay menace. That would
be a really good comic book character if somebody feels
like writing it, Like super fun. Any person accused of
(15:36):
being a closeted homosexual on the FBI's orders was to
be immediately reported to the Chief of Investigations. The FBI
would take over from there, and they would put every
resource at their disposal to work. Because no one's out
there committing any other crimes. And this isn't even a crime,
it's just what someone does in their private life. FBI
(15:59):
agents would followhim in to their homes, keep tabs on
witch bars and restaurants they ate at. Well, they probably should,
because I've got the food and drinker better than the
restaurants they go to, and have professional psychologists examine detailed
records of their habits, searching for those tail tale patterns
of gayness. Then they'd strike. Some eager FBI agents would
(16:20):
pull the suspected homosexuals in early while they were still
just loitering outside those notorious park bathrooms. Okay, what probable
cause do you have to pull someone in? Someone standing
somewhere is absolutely not a crime unless there are signs
everywhere that say no loitering, And even then, I think
it couldn't be any more than a misdemeanor or a
(16:41):
fine if someone was to enforce a no loitering sign.
The truly diligent, though, would wait until they were in
the middle of what they called an act of perversion,
and until they've gotten really good photographs of the act
before bringing them in in and probably before they themselves
got a and from someone in the bathroom, you know,
(17:02):
just for research, just they got to know. Come on,
this is ridiculous. I bet every single one of those
agents themselves was a closet at homosexual I would be
willing to bet quite a bit that there were many
of them. It was hard work or you know what
made them hard. It was hard work or perhaps work
(17:26):
that made them hard, or one of those two. But
it had to be done, apparently, and nobody understood that
more than legendary cross dresser j Edgar Hoover. After all,
if the rumors were true about him, he did have
an unfortunate habit of showing up at homosexual orgies, clear
proof that those contagious gays had rubbed off or you
(17:49):
know whatever, all over him. The quest for a full
proof way to spot gaze didn't end in the fifties,
like I said, and it wasn't limited to the US.
In fact, decade later, in twenty thirteen, so twelve years ago, Kuwaits,
Director of Public Health use of mind Car or mind Car,
took up the cause himself. Mind Car promised his people
(18:13):
that he would introduce sweeping reforms to improve the nation's Gadar,
declaring to the world quote, we will take stricter measures
to help us detect gaze, all right. His plan was
to revise Kuwait's visa stipulations to require doctors to certify
any incoming visitors as heterosexual. What before letting them into
(18:35):
the country. You're asking, how did they make that determination? Well,
that was not entirely clear on how doctors would indeed
test their patients for homosexuality, but he was confident that
it would be a simple procedure. Put on kim petris
and see if they start dancing. I don't know, try it,
it might work. He assured the press that any doctor
(18:58):
in any country would be able to run thorough test
for the Again, the very telltale physical markings of homosexuality.
So let's get into those physical markings, whatever they may be.
Mind car back down because of criticism in the international community,
FIFA expressed concern that his plan might bar some fans
(19:18):
from watching the twenty twenty two World Cup, which makes sense.
That concern was echoed by many in the US, who
suggested that the plan would bar everyone who likes soccer
from entering Kuwait, and then they all high fived each
other anyway, Again, there are people who are gay who
are athletes, so maybe don't alienate them. I don't know.
(19:41):
A twenty eighteen issue of Sinar Harran, a Malaysian newspaper,
came with the helpful checklist to the readers on how
to spot a gay So we're in a new country now,
We're in a totally new country now, and we're in
an even more recent time. The article came with a
checklist of the classic tailltale markings of homosexuality. Gay men,
(20:04):
as as it explained, love beards and I don't know
if they meant in just the facial hair or you know,
a beard a person, usually a woman who is used
as a surgate kind of girlfriend so that people don't
think that a man is gay. I've been a beard before,
on purpose to help out a friend. This was a
(20:24):
long time ago. Anyway, I'll get I'll tell you about it.
I'll tell you later. I won't out who it was.
They also love branded clothing, so I think they mean
like designer clothing. They're close to their families, which I'm like, hau,
Maybe they mean their mothers and like to go to
the gym. But once in the gym. I'll watch out
(20:45):
the homosexual male. They will not exercise, which I'm like, bullshit. Instead,
he will merely ogle the other men, his eyes lighting
up with joy whenever he spots a particularly handsome one. Well,
that's true, but they're also there working out. Nobody's going
do you ever? Oh my god, I'm just like picturing
going to a gym and seeing nothing but men staring
(21:07):
at other men and no one actually working out. That's okay.
I think I just walk out, like back out slowly,
beep beep beep, moonwalk it out the back door like nah,
I'd be like, all right, something weird's going on. Oh
now we're getting into lesbians. Finally, we're finally getting included
in the gaydar. Lesbians can be detected through their venomous
(21:30):
attitudes toward men, which again is stupid. All lesbians don't
hate all men. A lot of men do suck, a
lot of women suck. But okay, venomous attitudes towards men. No,
it's not like you hate men and that turns you
into a lesbian. Nothing turns you gay. But again, try
(21:53):
explaining that to the people that are attempting to create
a gaydar. Some sort whether it be a machine or
like a checklist of criteria toward women. Lesbians are open
and care free. Yeah, because we can let our guard
down because another woman most likely is not gonna rape
and kill us if we say no to them. Okay,
(22:13):
they'll hold each other's hands and hug each other openly.
Not me. I don't like hugs or anybody touching me
all that much. But they behave very differently around men.
Lesbians hate men. According to an article, what little joy
they get out of life they get from belittling them.
And that's not true. Massandry is not a thing. It's
(22:37):
just not. Massandry is not a hatred of men. It's
a hatred of a system that oppresses women. Patriarchy. And
if you don't know what that is, if you think
it's like just saying patriarchy means men, no, it means
a system designed by men to oppress women. And I again,
(22:58):
I don't want I'm gonna deal with fact. I don't
even want to go. You already know you've heard it before,
like women couldn't even have credit cards or own a
home or you know, be independent in any way, shape
or form until well in the United States late seventies
early eighties, Like that's in a lot of our lifetimes,
(23:22):
which is insanity. You know, clinical trials weren't of drugs
and medicines and other things medical devices. They were not
required to include women in clinical trials until I think
it was the nineties. So like every drug that's been
made to treat practically everything before then did not do
(23:45):
any sort of a trial on women. So we don't
even know, like the female body is not studied. We
know that problems unique only to the female body are
really given hardly any scientific funding. There's not lot of specialists.
It's really hard to get you know, medication or surgery
for anything that you need regarding the female reproductive system.
(24:07):
But you know, men have a hard time getting it up.
And everybody's like, oh my god, here, please take these
pills so you have your dignity and can get an
erection even though God doesn't want you to have boners anymore.
Wouldn't that be great? Like No, I'm not, I'm just kidding.
(24:28):
I'm just I'm saying, like all the things that like if, if, if, again,
if men could get pregnant that I'm quoting, I think
it's it's not sign it might be signfeld if men
could get pregnant you get an abortion at an ATM
point blank period, like if men had the sort of
(24:49):
physical problems that women have. And also I'm tired of
hearing about how men and women's bodies are like the
same and women just need to like suck it up.
It's like, no men run on it twenty four hour
hormone cycle. Women run on a twenty eight day one.
Our bodies changed constantly. We don't even really know what
goes on. Like again, nothing's been studied. We don't even
(25:11):
know what goes on during our cycle. Like physiologically, there's
some more research being done, but you know, only in
the last year did doctors discover that women's brains swell
enormously while they're pregnant, or that you know, we carry
our own children's DNA inside of us for ourselves, inside
(25:35):
of us for the rest of our lives. These things
were only discovered in the last year. Again, I've got
I'm gonna go on these tangents and I'm sorry, but whatever,
Miss Andrey's not real if Okay, maybe some people do
hate all men, but again, I don't think it's all
(25:56):
these sweeping like declarations and just finite things. I don't know.
I'm gonna stop and I'm gonna move on. I'm tired,
so I'm probably little grumpier than usual. In two thousand
and eight, one Nicholas Rule and Nalini on Body of
Tufts University conducted an experiment into one of the greatest
(26:20):
questions that have plagued scientists for centuries, and that is,
do gay people have gay faces? Tune in to find
Tune in next week to find out. Now, I'll tell
you now. So they took pictures of heteros and homosexuals,
and they carefully chose to eliminate the effect of what
(26:40):
they called self presentation. They even photoshopped out their hair
and pasted them onto white backgrounds. So they're trying to
take anything out that isn't just the structure of the face,
and trying to leave nothing but their cheekbones and eyebrows
as hints into their sexuality. Then they showed the pictures
(27:01):
to a group of ninety people and asked them to
guess which faces were gay. The participants, according to Rule
and on Body, they claimed that they got the right
answer more often than not, thereby proving that everyone can
tell you're gay just by looking at you, even if
they don't realize it. And I'm like, I don't know
(27:22):
how that proves that it was ninety people? How often
did you repeat that? Okay? Apparently though, you know you're
not fooling anybody, so you might as well drop the act.
If you're closeted, everybody can just look at your face
and tell you're gay. Totally. I don't think that's true,
but okay. In twenty seventeen, Stanford professor Michael Kazinski took
spotting gay people by looking at their faces into the
(27:45):
new era. He turned that idea into what he claimed
was a working GAYDAR machine. Kazenski and his co author
one Yelun Wang had a facial recognition program scanned seventy
five thousand online dating profiles organized into groups of gay
(28:05):
and straight. Their AI And again, why the fuck are
we using this? Why are we using AI for dumb
shit like this? What does it have to do with anything?
What is it helping? Like God, oh, humanity? So the
AI program, it was programmed to identify patterns in quote,
(28:29):
gay facial features, what searching for the unique quirks that
unite all gay men. Then they pitted their machine against
humans to see who was better at identifying homosexuals. The
humans weren't much better at telling if someone was gay
by looking at their face than a coin flip, which duh,
which kind of ruins the entire point. If you only
(28:51):
have two choices, you've got a fifty percent chance of
being right. And this kind of ruined the entire point
of the study in the last entry. But anyway, the
point is that the machine got it right eighty one
percent of the time for gay men and seventy four
percent for lesbians. Finally, they had created an effective gaitar.
Now what are they gonna do with it? And who cares?
(29:15):
At least it was an effective gadar when looking at
people's tender profile pictures. When they tried using it on
pictures that people hadn't put up on dating apps, it
was slightly less effective or significantly. Really, still, they had
finally developed a machine that could identify the sexuality of
people who are actively and deliberately trying to make their
(29:36):
orientations as visible as possible. And again, that's like duh.
If you are on tender grinder whatever, and you're trying
to find someone to date, you wouldn't put like the
butchest photo of yourself up there unless you are like
a stone butch lesbian or something like that, you know
(29:56):
what I mean. You wouldn't be trying to like use
your link in profile picture or something like that. You're
gonna try and post things that make you look fun
and like who you really are to attract someone. So again,
these things make sense that they're I don't know, like
correlation is not causation. During the twenty fifteen conference of
(30:17):
the American Society of Human Genetics, a University of California
researcher named Tuck Nun made a bold declaration to the world.
He had isolated the gay gene and he's gonna weaponize
it into a gay bomb, just like in thirty Rock
And if you haven't seen that episode, oh sweet God. Specifically,
(30:39):
this Nun had found methylation marks sorry I choked on
that one, methylation marks that he believed could be connected
to homosexuality. His study had looked at thirty seven pairs
of identical male twins that consisted of one homosexual brother
and one heterosexual brother, and identified five methylation marks that
(31:01):
he claimed were clear biological indicators of homosexuality. And again
I say how so, and he said, well, sort of
kind of. Maybe. The scientific community wasn't very supportive for
good reason. They pointed out that he took or that
he looked at six thousand methylation marks in just thirty
(31:22):
seven sets of twins. That's a small sample group, which
made it pretty much inevitable that he'd be able to
find some kind of pattern between them, you know, just
by the sheer law of averages. And in this case,
Nune hadn't even found a very good pattern. It was
a pattern, but not a very good one. Even in
his test subjects, the gay ging he'd identified only showed
(31:44):
up in sixty seven percent of participants. So, no, those
aren't that's not great, that's not any sort of definitive proof. Again,
everybody's just trying to like make these statistics fit their
theory and doesn't seem to be working. There are some
devices that have been employed as gaydars, and they're still
(32:06):
fairly widespread today, like the penile plethysmograph. Yeah, that the
Czechoslovakian Czechoslovakian Army, I'm choking on all my words today.
We once used it to determine if men claiming to
be gay to avoid being drafted. We're telling the truth.
Give me a break. Here's how it works. Let me
(32:28):
just tell you. Let me tell you how the test works. First,
a scientist attaches a device shaped like a thin strip
of metal to the penis. It probably is a thin
strip of metal. Then he puts a variety of gay
pornography here we go, like the fruit machine or you
know whatever else they're attempting to determine the subject's response to.
And then they use the device to measure how erect
(32:49):
the man gets looking at each image. Admittedly, there are
probably easier ways to figure out someone's sexuality, like maybe,
for example, if a man attached is a thin strip
of metal to people's penises, shows them in gay porn
and then takes careful notes on how erect they get,
that might be a clue that he himself is gay.
(33:09):
But somehow, you know, this one is caught on and
is still used in various scientific studies today. Host Sweet
Jesus Okay. It has been hailed as one of the
most accurate sexuality tests known to man, and with good cause. Apparently,
this test has been proven to be an accurate determinant
(33:31):
of a man's sexual preferences. Get this, It's going to
blow you away thirty two percent of the time, and
that makes it the most effective, proven way to tell
somebody's sexuality other than literally just flipping a coin and
that's it. That's gaydar for you. Yeah, it's happening. Countries,
(33:55):
including the United States, are and have been spent money
on trying to figure out whether men largely just men lesbians? Really,
I only saw mentioned one time, are gay? Uh? Giving me?
Like I told you, this is just absurdity. You can't
(34:17):
make this kind of stuff up. It like things just
write themselves. I don't know how there aren't like better
movies and better original movies and shows out there now.
Because the absurdity of human beings and the things that
we choose to you know, hang our hats on the
hills we choose to die on. They're just sometimes the
(34:41):
most idiotic things you've ever heard. The fruit machine, give
me a break. I can tell a good bit of
the time, but with women, I have a harder time
honestly being able to tell whether you know they're into
(35:01):
women or not. Men A lot of the time it's
slightly easier to tell for me. I don't know but
I'm not saying everybody can tell. And if someone is
closeted like, that's their business. Don't ever try to like
out somebody that's horrendous and disgusting and could cause that
person to in their own lives, that's okay. And for
(35:26):
anybody that's like and again, I don't think anybody that
listens to this podcast would be like, well, why is
it a bad thing that the National Suicide Prevention Hotline
for LGBTQ plus people has been done away with? Why
is that a bad thing because of shit like this?
You guys like Gaydar Gaydar. Different countries governments are spending
(35:54):
their money on tests to determine whether or not people gay.
And again, to what end? Where is that leading to
the first people? Some of the first people rounded up
during the Holocaust were gay men. That's what the upside
down pink triangle is. That's what their their clothes were
(36:15):
marked with when they went to or when they were
sent to not win. They didn't go on their own
when they were taken and forced into concentration camps. There
are so many people that just like, don't have any
empathy anymore, and I don't understand it. It's I don't. Again,
I don't understand, like how and I feel like I'm
(36:36):
getting serious here, but I don't understand how who somebody
chooses to love, or what they choose to do with
their own lives or sexuality has any bearing whatsoever on
another person. Like, as long as they're being safe, as
long as they're not hurting anybody, why do you care
(36:57):
what anyone else does? Long as you're following, you know,
as long as you're being safe and not hurting anybody, again,
what does it matter? I just don't understand anybody who says,
why do they need gay pride? There's not a month
for veterans. Yes there is, Yes, there are. The month
(37:18):
before May is like Military service Members month or something
like that. They have a month. Let's deal in facts.
Let's come back to reality, everybody. Let's stop this bullshit, division, divisiveness,
constantly being on the defensive, Like, that's why we still
(37:40):
need pride, That's why we need it because of things
like this, because of attacks on drag performers and things
like that. I know this was last summer, but it's it. God,
it bears repeating attempting to frame drag performers and gay people.
In gen as groomers and pedophiles, when in fact straight
(38:03):
white men. It's straight white men, and again not all
straight white men. Shut the fuck up. If it's not you,
I don't care. I don't care me personally. I think
every pedophile and you're probably gonna be like, this is controversial.
But if you think it's controversial, okay, I think really
the death penalty should be reserved for pedophiles, point blank, period. Pedophiles,
(38:27):
sexual predators. Kill them, They'll never be rehabilitated, never, ever, ever, ever.
Gay people are having sex with I'm not saying all,
and this happens with straight people too, but they're having
consensual sexual relationships with people who are of legal age
(38:49):
to consent to those relationships or encounters, and that's the
most important thing, as long as the other person participating
in a sexual act. And also, why everything about gay
people made sexual? Is it because people who are obsessed
with gay people are latent homosexual? I think it is.
(39:10):
Why else would you be so vehement and just vicious
in attacking a group of people. Again, I don't understand.
And the verse in the Bible that they liked, quote
about laying with another man that got changed by King
JAMESY who was gay, who had sex with men. He
changed the Bible, the King James version of the Bible.
(39:33):
The original verse said they shall not that man shall
not lie with a boy talking about pedophilia, and King
James changed it. Look, I have studied the Bible. I
didn't want to. I came from an evangelical family. I've
studied the shit out of it. I know what's in there,
and I'm tired of people twisting it or using an
(39:55):
updated version, a version of the Bible, updated by a
king who fucked men talking about man shall not lie
with men because he's trying to cover his own ass,
but he wills on. This is a very adult episode.
I've said some pretty pretty perverse things. Anyway, Just let's
(40:16):
all just chill the fuck out, can we? And again,
I'm cussing a lot today. I don't really care. I'm
an adult, hopefully you're an adult. You're not my mom,
and I'll say whatever I want. You're not my mom
and you never will be. That was a heavy, heavy sigh,
happy fourth of whatever the fuck to you Tomorrow, I'm not.
(40:37):
My dad's birthday is the fifth, and so I will
be attending his birthday party. I will not be celebrating
a day of independence because quite literally, I'm I'm not
fully independent as a woman living in a red state
whose reproductive rights have indeed been taken and people are
being taken off the streets by jackass with Amazon bests
(41:01):
on and patches that say police and let me tell
you right now, come to my door, let me see it,
let me see you. Try to kidnap somebody in a
parking lot. I don't care. I'll jump on your back
like a spider monkey. I will put a hurting on you.
I will fuck you up. I'm not dealing with this shit.
Everybody needs to like not be neutral on any of
(41:23):
these issues anymore. We got to step up. I'm not
like trying to say let's go out and be violent. No,
don't do that. But if you do see something that
you know is a clear violation of human rights, because
get this, I don't know if you know this, uh,
being an immigrant who came to this country illegally, which
(41:43):
just means that you haven't, like, you know, jumped through
all the hoops which are incredibly difficult to do. That's
a misdemeanor. It's a misdemeanor. Infraction. Just FYI, it's not
drag them out of their house, bomb their which I've seen,
leave their kids in a truck while you kidnap their
(42:04):
mother out of a parking lot. It's a misdemeanor. Why
are they going to some camp in Florida? Why are
they being incarceration? Like, if you want to deport them, fine,
but it is a misdemeanor offence. It does not require
bounty hunters who are which I've been finding out more
(42:25):
and more. These are facts. These are deputized corrections officers
that are posing as federal agents. Okay, they want you
to believe they're federal, not all of them. But I
don't know. I think we just need to be careful.
This is a really slippery slope. The slope has been
slippery for a while. I feel like we're slipping down it.
(42:46):
I just don't understand why people hate so much, Like
it's it's baffling to me. I don't hate anybody, you know.
That's that's giving your energy and letting someone else affect
your life. Like, what's the point of hating anyone? Why
do not? Are you that bored with your own life?
Do you not have anything else going on like you
(43:09):
don't have love in your life, you don't have a family,
you don't have anything else to live for, but your
hatred of people who aren't bothering you. And also again
on the immigrant tip, they pay into Social Security and
every other you know their text, their paychecks are taxed.
They are not eligible for government assistance. This is bullshit
(43:34):
that's being pushed at you. Again. Facts. We need to
start dealing in facts, not on the internet, chat, gpting
or just saying shit on you know, whatever social media
app you're on, and the echo chamber below you of
jackasses who all look the same and have never left
(43:55):
their hometown. Just again, well, I think I just answered
my own question. Why is so much hate? Are they
just bored? Yeah? I think they are. I think some
people are just bored and looking for something to hang
or they're deflecting, like many people who take up the
Cross against Homosexuality turn out to be homosexuals, or so
(44:19):
many like youth pastors, cops, et cetera, that are anti
you know, oh, anti pedophilia, gay people are grooming our
children turn out to be pedophiles. And again I'm not
making that up. If you can get online, you can
look at the amount of their social media handles that
(44:42):
go or like Instagram handles, thread handles that only cover
that kind of thing, and like I think it was
the other day there were twenty nine white men arrested
for pedophilia or a child sex trafficking ring. What's wrong
with everyone? Like I, why is this a thing? I
(45:05):
don't understand? There's so much Just like again, we need
to just get rid of them. They need to be eliminated.
Pedophiles need to be eliminated. I'm gonna get on a list.
I'm gonna get on a fucking watch list. I'm scared,
and I'm gonna stop talking all that to say, why
waste your life, your energy, your time, like your your wellness,
(45:28):
your well being on hating when you could just go
talk to someone from the community that you hate so much,
Go talk to them and see if you still hate them,
you know what I mean, Like you might have more
in common with them. And then you think that we're
all human beings, we all live on the same planet,
(45:48):
we're all technically on the same team. Why are we
turning on each other the way that we are? Like,
I know this has always happened, but I feel like
this particular point in history is just like a powder
keg for lack of a better word or term, and
I kind of wish I didn't use it. Okay, anyway,
(46:10):
all that to say, do what you want. If you're
in the United States and you you know, if you
feel like celebrating, celebrate. If you feel like celebrating something else,
do that tomorrow, like just or today. Sorry, it'll be
releasing on the fourth of July. You know this, this
(46:30):
holiday is about independence from a king. And I just
can't imagine, you know, any of them seeing us now
and being like, oh, yeah, this is exactly what I
pictured for. They'd be horrified. They'd be like, what's going on?
Why are people just saying whatever they want to say?
(46:52):
And no one's being held accountable? And just all right,
I'm done. I'm gonna stop talking you guys again. I'm
preaching to the you know, to the converted. You guys,
I know, don't hate. I hope you don't. A new way.
There's certain people I don't like, you know. I don't
(47:13):
sit around thinking about them and like going out of
my way to make their lives miserable. I don't do
that unless like somebody really really crosses me and then
I do it tenfold. But it's quick and effective usually
when I do it, and then I don't think about
it again. Anyway, If you like what you hear, you
can hear more episodes every Friday, released on all podcast platforms.
(47:37):
You can buy me on social media on Instagram at
Autumns Podcast, Facebook, Autumns Audities, also Threads, Autumns Podcast, and
Patreon at Autumn's Audities. I will get around recording to
recording bonus episodes, hopefully this weekend, since it's going to
be a long weekend, and I'll get those out to
(47:57):
you because I do value you and and and appreciate
you so very much, and I do appreciate all of
you listening. And remember, if it's creepy and weird, you'll
find it here. H
Hey, hey, welcome back to Autumn Zodities. I'm Autumn. Well.
I got back from Portland, Oregon, not Maine, at around
two am, so roughly like twelve hours ago from when
I'm recording. So today's episode is it's gonna be an
absurd one. Nothing high stakes, you know, just some really stupid,
(00:54):
kind of ignorant ideas from what I assume are very
smart people. Without further ado, ladies, gentlemen, and others, I
present to you Gadar. In the nineteen fifties, there was
real danger afoot. The Communists, as our brave senators warned us,
(01:15):
had infiltrated the governments of the democratic world, and they
brought with them their most powerful weapon, the gays. As
Senator Kenneth Weary told the American people, only the most
naive could believe that the Communists' fifth column in the
United States would neglect to propagate and use homosexuals to
(01:35):
gain their treacherous ends. I told you there's going to
be some pretty ignorant shit. But it's funny the things
that scientists and doctors were able to come up with.
We needed this is still a senator talking. We needed
a device that could weed out these wily gays from
their patriotic heteropeers. Their mission was clear. They needed a
(01:57):
real life, fully functioning GAYDAR. The best minds in the
world got to work, and they didn't just stop in
America like this wasn't the only place in the world
attempting to build a GAYDAR. And the nineteen fifties, you
would think maybe that's when that would have stopped, but
it didn't in many parts of the world. In fact,
(02:18):
the best and the brightest are working to build one
even today. In nineteen fifty the best minds of the
US Senate, which you know are better than they are now.
Everyone's brains erotted now, were organized into a special task
force they called the Hoey Committee. Hoe Y, I hope
(02:39):
they had jackets made their mission to identify and root
out the insidious gaze hiding throughout America. And I'm saying
it like that because I myself am not straight. I
am a bisexual woman leaning more towards lesbian. I am
married to a man, but he is about the extent
of what I like and men. So I'm saying this
(03:02):
all jokingly. So it would not, as they quickly learned,
be as easy as they'd imagined, you know, because gayser wiley. Right,
they already said it. Senator Margaret Smith, during a meeting
with America's top medical minds, disappointedly asked, there's no quick
test like an X ray that discloses these things. And
X ray lady, first of all, like most X rays
(03:25):
look at bones, some look at tendons and muscles. But
you think that gainess is hiding in bones and tendons
and muscles. Again, some ignorant shit here, to her dismay,
the Surgeon General explained that homosexuality didn't show up on
most X rays. And most X rays, he said, And
(03:45):
I'm like, well, which ones do they show up on?
What does homosexuality show up on? What does it look like? Again,
this was the fifties. They didn't have the slightest clue
really about much of anything. And again, X like they
probably weren't even safe at the time. Nothing was regulated
back then, so I don't know what they could have
(04:07):
possibly been x ering. He the Surgeon General at least
was answering their questions, and most medical experts, for whatever reason,
rambled on with some nonsense about sexuality being complicated and
fluid and refused to hand over the machine the senators
apparently hoped would make all gay men in America start
(04:28):
glowing with the neon red light, so quite literally. I
don't know. Maybe that's where the phrase flaming homosexual originates from.
Like that, Okay, that's actually I wonder I didn't check
into that, But now that I think about it, I
will after I finish recording this episode, and I'll let
you know in the next one. After two years of research,
(04:50):
the Hoee Committee identified some fool proof facts about homosexuals. Though.
This is what they learned. Gay men, they announced could
be identified through a few clues. Here they are, they
were unmarried, They seldom refused to talk about themselves, and
they tended to have what the council called prissy habits.
(05:11):
And as we now know, lavender marriages were a thing
back then. We're gay men and women because it was
not legal to be gay, married each other because they're like, well,
I know I'm safe from you know, you try and
have sex with me because you're not interested. That was
very common, So the whole they're unmarried thing was kind
of a false equivalency there. They started a complex system
(05:33):
for tracking, eliminating, and destroying the lives of gay men,
and they seem to only think for some odd reason
that men are gay, but it's neither here nor there,
often crushing them so fully that they drove them to suicide.
So this is just horrendous. Like, again, who does it affect?
Who does someone else's sexuality directly affect? In what way
(05:57):
does it affect you? They get no special tree in
a lot of states, no protected status against discrimination based
on their sexuality. How does it affect anyone? Really? Truly?
I would like an explanation to anyone who you know
is a bigot, Please explain to me, enlighten me, enlighten
(06:20):
me as to how someone else's sexuality affects you personally.
And I don't want to hear anything about, well, they're
grooming the children. No. Even Tim Tebow, white Christian football player,
man came out in a recent interview he's working with
a trafficking organization and he said statistics out loud that
we've all known forever. And I was stunned because the
(06:44):
you know, talking head that he was doing the interview
with didn't have much to say about it. He said,
overwhelmingly and again, we all know this. Statistically, pedophiles are
white straight males, and even more often they're related to
their victim. Yeah, like, these are again statistics. It's not
an opinion, it's a fact. We all need to start
(07:06):
dealing in fact and stop just letting emotions and just
ignorant ask biasesweigh outweigh fact. The fact is most pedophiles
are white straight men. We all know this. And that's
not to say every there's so seriously I love how
(07:28):
like every oh, everybody's so sensitive. No, I'm not saying
every straight white man is a pedophile. Statistically, people who
are pedophiles happen to be white straight men. Again, if
it doesn't have anything to do with you, don't worry
about it. Everybody's always like no, no, nol men, no,
(07:51):
no mean okay, great, I'm glad not you. But overwhelmingly
this is who you need to look out for and
people that are really I handed to the children. It's okay.
I'm not gonna keep going, but we need to start
dealing in facts, like the Internet has. Social media has
rotted everyone's brains chat GPT, which isn't right most of
(08:15):
the time, Like, it's wrong a lot. I can't stand
seeing people use that as like a source. Chat GPT
is not a source. It learns based on what you do,
so it's pretty much as smart as you are, like
slightly smarter. But you know what I mean. Like and
if I'm wrong, I really don't care because I'm not
gonna use AI to search things. Number one, it's gonna
(08:37):
kill our entire planet. And if you think I'm if
you think I'm like overreacting or being alarmist, I'm not.
This shit is horrible, horrible for the environment. The output
of pollution UH is just unreal, and the water usage
for AI and everyone's using it to search the dumbest
(08:59):
shit you've ever seen in your life. Just stop. You
don't need to do that. A regular Google search will
suffice hell. Pick up a book, a paper book. Jesus H. Christ,
what's happening? And this is going to release on July fourth.
And somebody's gonna be like anti American. I'm not anti American.
You know what America stands for? I do. I know
(09:21):
all about America. I know the Constitution inside and out.
I have a fucking law degree. I'm not playing this
game anymore. We dealing in facts. I knew I was
gonna go off on a rant today. I've been traveling
and you know, just again the world in general. Anyway,
So they started a complex system for tracking, which is horrendous,
(09:42):
and we've seen it before and we're seeing it again,
and it caused a lot of suicides because people didn't
want to be outed, because you know, back then it
meant you lost your job, you lost everything, and really,
you know, not a moment too soon. As their report warned,
gay was contagious. Contagious, Okay, I want to help. Someone
was quoted as saying, one homosexual can pollute a government office.
(10:04):
How so they're probably just going to decorate it and
be funny and bring in things, you know, baked goods
and whatnot. What's the problem. Meanwhile, north of the border,
the Canadians, so like I said, it wasn't just Americans
who were being ignorant focks. It was also the Canadians
and many others I'm gonna get into it, were hard
at work on a special machine that they were convinced
(10:27):
could identify any gay man. And again they seem to
only focus on men. They called it, get ready, this
is bad. They called it the fruit machine. Yeah, which
in the nineteen sixties was something that you could name
a machine and nobody would have a problem with it.
And I feel like people would cheer for that now,
(10:47):
which is ridiculous. So the fruit Machine was a gigantic device,
described by those who have seen it as looking like
something out of science fiction. It had multiple cameras, giant
steel girders, and a special screen designed to project gay porn.
(11:08):
A suspected homosexual would be called into the security officials
office and told, we have evidence that you may be
a homosexual. What do you have to say about this?
If they denied it, the fruit Machine would be their judge.
They would be strapped in and shown a series of
mundane images which were every now and then spliced with
(11:30):
the odd picture of I guess a naked man or
something like that. While they watched, the researchers would measure
their pulse, skin reflexes, breathing, and pupillary response. And I
think they're just checking to see if they got a boner.
All that to say, yeah, they liked it, they were
stimulated by it. If your pupils expanded on the site
(11:53):
of gay porn, it meant that the pictures of naked
men excited you, or that the photo was perhaps a
little bit too dark because eyes also dilate in different
kinds of light. Good God, or maybe you know that
you were surprised, or probably nothing at all, since most
tests showed the fruit machine was wildly ineffective. Yeah, I'm
(12:15):
sure it wasn't effective. All the senators are in there,
they get in the fruit machine, every single one of
them pops a boner and they're like, this thing's broken.
It's like, no, I think. I think you just have
some some issues that you need to work out on
your own. Still, the Canadian government was nothing if not cautious.
Even if the machine didn't work, they forced everyone who
(12:36):
failed its test to resign from their jobs. Thereby, this
is what they thought saving Canada from the horrors of
having homosexuals walk through its streets, leading normal, healthy lives,
minding their own business, contributing to the economy, and living
their lives without hurting anyone. For the most part, the
(12:58):
United States Park Police played us special role in America's
mission to weed out homosexuals in government. They were put
on a special task force when the government received some
pretty hot intel providing an insight into the mind of
the homosexual man and get ready for it. It's big news.
Gay guys love parks. This groundbreaking stuff, really science. The
(13:23):
park police were expanded, with countless more officers brought in
to help them with their missions, which included weeding out
quote sex perverts, start with the pedophiles, and being gay
does not meaning you are a pedophile. It's a false equivalency. Again,
straight white men overwhelmingly are the pedophiles. Parks the government
had learned were popular cruising spots for gay men. Well, yeah,
(13:47):
because you've outlawed being gay, and so they have to
do it anonymously in random places so they don't get caught.
They needed a team to watch them. One group of
park police spent twelve hours from dusk to dawn staring
at the bathroom in Lafayette Park and placing bets on
whether or not the visitors were gay. In their report
(14:10):
to Congress, they declared, quote, I do not believe a
half a dozen legitimate persons go in there to answer
nature's call. God forbid somebody use the bathroom. No, Oh,
they couldn't possibly be in there going to a toilet, Like,
give me a break. Seriously, this is what money, government
money was, and the kind of things that still you know,
(14:31):
our budget is being spent ons insanity. Thanks to their
tireless efforts, the US government came to a very important conclusion.
Pretty much anyone who goes to the bathroom in a
public park can be assumed to be a homosexual. And
they took that intel very seriously, even firing a CIA
(14:51):
employee on the charge that they had been spotted hanging
around men's room in a park. God forbid. J Edgar Hoover,
who again there were rumors that he liked to cross
dress occasionally and was probably himself gay, personally pushed to
the FBI into leading what he called the sex debates program.
(15:15):
Put yourself on that listro for decades, they would stop
wasting so much time tracking down organized crime and domestic
terrorists and rapists and murderers, and instead they'd focus their
resources on America's real threat, the gay menace. That would
be a really good comic book character if somebody feels
like writing it, Like super fun. Any person accused of
(15:36):
being a closeted homosexual on the FBI's orders was to
be immediately reported to the Chief of Investigations. The FBI
would take over from there, and they would put every
resource at their disposal to work. Because no one's out
there committing any other crimes. And this isn't even a crime,
it's just what someone does in their private life. FBI
(15:59):
agents would followhim in to their homes, keep tabs on
witch bars and restaurants they ate at. Well, they probably should,
because I've got the food and drinker better than the
restaurants they go to, and have professional psychologists examine detailed
records of their habits, searching for those tail tale patterns
of gayness. Then they'd strike. Some eager FBI agents would
(16:20):
pull the suspected homosexuals in early while they were still
just loitering outside those notorious park bathrooms. Okay, what probable
cause do you have to pull someone in? Someone standing
somewhere is absolutely not a crime unless there are signs
everywhere that say no loitering, And even then, I think
it couldn't be any more than a misdemeanor or a
(16:41):
fine if someone was to enforce a no loitering sign.
The truly diligent, though, would wait until they were in
the middle of what they called an act of perversion,
and until they've gotten really good photographs of the act
before bringing them in in and probably before they themselves
got a and from someone in the bathroom, you know,
(17:02):
just for research, just they got to know. Come on,
this is ridiculous. I bet every single one of those
agents themselves was a closet at homosexual I would be
willing to bet quite a bit that there were many
of them. It was hard work or you know what
made them hard. It was hard work or perhaps work
(17:26):
that made them hard, or one of those two. But
it had to be done, apparently, and nobody understood that
more than legendary cross dresser j Edgar Hoover. After all,
if the rumors were true about him, he did have
an unfortunate habit of showing up at homosexual orgies, clear
proof that those contagious gays had rubbed off or you
(17:49):
know whatever, all over him. The quest for a full
proof way to spot gaze didn't end in the fifties,
like I said, and it wasn't limited to the US.
In fact, decade later, in twenty thirteen, so twelve years ago, Kuwaits,
Director of Public Health use of mind Car or mind Car,
took up the cause himself. Mind Car promised his people
(18:13):
that he would introduce sweeping reforms to improve the nation's Gadar,
declaring to the world quote, we will take stricter measures
to help us detect gaze, all right. His plan was
to revise Kuwait's visa stipulations to require doctors to certify
any incoming visitors as heterosexual. What before letting them into
(18:35):
the country. You're asking, how did they make that determination? Well,
that was not entirely clear on how doctors would indeed
test their patients for homosexuality, but he was confident that
it would be a simple procedure. Put on kim petris
and see if they start dancing. I don't know, try it,
it might work. He assured the press that any doctor
(18:58):
in any country would be able to run thorough test
for the Again, the very telltale physical markings of homosexuality.
So let's get into those physical markings, whatever they may be.
Mind car back down because of criticism in the international community,
FIFA expressed concern that his plan might bar some fans
(19:18):
from watching the twenty twenty two World Cup, which makes sense.
That concern was echoed by many in the US, who
suggested that the plan would bar everyone who likes soccer
from entering Kuwait, and then they all high fived each
other anyway, Again, there are people who are gay who
are athletes, so maybe don't alienate them. I don't know.
(19:41):
A twenty eighteen issue of Sinar Harran, a Malaysian newspaper,
came with the helpful checklist to the readers on how
to spot a gay So we're in a new country now,
We're in a totally new country now, and we're in
an even more recent time. The article came with a
checklist of the classic tailltale markings of homosexuality. Gay men,
(20:04):
as as it explained, love beards and I don't know
if they meant in just the facial hair or you know,
a beard a person, usually a woman who is used
as a surgate kind of girlfriend so that people don't
think that a man is gay. I've been a beard before,
on purpose to help out a friend. This was a
(20:24):
long time ago. Anyway, I'll get I'll tell you about it.
I'll tell you later. I won't out who it was.
They also love branded clothing, so I think they mean
like designer clothing. They're close to their families, which I'm like, hau,
Maybe they mean their mothers and like to go to
the gym. But once in the gym. I'll watch out
(20:45):
the homosexual male. They will not exercise, which I'm like, bullshit. Instead,
he will merely ogle the other men, his eyes lighting
up with joy whenever he spots a particularly handsome one. Well,
that's true, but they're also there working out. Nobody's going
do you ever? Oh my god, I'm just like picturing
going to a gym and seeing nothing but men staring
(21:07):
at other men and no one actually working out. That's okay.
I think I just walk out, like back out slowly,
beep beep beep, moonwalk it out the back door like nah,
I'd be like, all right, something weird's going on. Oh
now we're getting into lesbians. Finally, we're finally getting included
in the gaydar. Lesbians can be detected through their venomous
(21:30):
attitudes toward men, which again is stupid. All lesbians don't
hate all men. A lot of men do suck, a
lot of women suck. But okay, venomous attitudes towards men. No,
it's not like you hate men and that turns you
into a lesbian. Nothing turns you gay. But again, try
(21:53):
explaining that to the people that are attempting to create
a gaydar. Some sort whether it be a machine or
like a checklist of criteria toward women. Lesbians are open
and care free. Yeah, because we can let our guard
down because another woman most likely is not gonna rape
and kill us if we say no to them. Okay,
(22:13):
they'll hold each other's hands and hug each other openly.
Not me. I don't like hugs or anybody touching me
all that much. But they behave very differently around men.
Lesbians hate men. According to an article, what little joy
they get out of life they get from belittling them.
And that's not true. Massandry is not a thing. It's
(22:37):
just not. Massandry is not a hatred of men. It's
a hatred of a system that oppresses women. Patriarchy. And
if you don't know what that is, if you think
it's like just saying patriarchy means men, no, it means
a system designed by men to oppress women. And I again,
(22:58):
I don't want I'm gonna deal with fact. I don't
even want to go. You already know you've heard it before,
like women couldn't even have credit cards or own a
home or you know, be independent in any way, shape
or form until well in the United States late seventies
early eighties, Like that's in a lot of our lifetimes,
(23:22):
which is insanity. You know, clinical trials weren't of drugs
and medicines and other things medical devices. They were not
required to include women in clinical trials until I think
it was the nineties. So like every drug that's been
made to treat practically everything before then did not do
(23:45):
any sort of a trial on women. So we don't
even know, like the female body is not studied. We
know that problems unique only to the female body are
really given hardly any scientific funding. There's not lot of specialists.
It's really hard to get you know, medication or surgery
for anything that you need regarding the female reproductive system.
(24:07):
But you know, men have a hard time getting it up.
And everybody's like, oh my god, here, please take these
pills so you have your dignity and can get an
erection even though God doesn't want you to have boners anymore.
Wouldn't that be great? Like No, I'm not, I'm just kidding.
(24:28):
I'm just I'm saying, like all the things that like if, if, if, again,
if men could get pregnant that I'm quoting, I think
it's it's not sign it might be signfeld if men
could get pregnant you get an abortion at an ATM
point blank period, like if men had the sort of
(24:49):
physical problems that women have. And also I'm tired of
hearing about how men and women's bodies are like the
same and women just need to like suck it up.
It's like, no men run on it twenty four hour
hormone cycle. Women run on a twenty eight day one.
Our bodies changed constantly. We don't even really know what
goes on. Like again, nothing's been studied. We don't even
(25:11):
know what goes on during our cycle. Like physiologically, there's
some more research being done, but you know, only in
the last year did doctors discover that women's brains swell
enormously while they're pregnant, or that you know, we carry
our own children's DNA inside of us for ourselves, inside
(25:35):
of us for the rest of our lives. These things
were only discovered in the last year. Again, I've got
I'm gonna go on these tangents and I'm sorry, but whatever,
Miss Andrey's not real if Okay, maybe some people do
hate all men, but again, I don't think it's all
(25:56):
these sweeping like declarations and just finite things. I don't know.
I'm gonna stop and I'm gonna move on. I'm tired,
so I'm probably little grumpier than usual. In two thousand
and eight, one Nicholas Rule and Nalini on Body of
Tufts University conducted an experiment into one of the greatest
(26:20):
questions that have plagued scientists for centuries, and that is,
do gay people have gay faces? Tune in to find
Tune in next week to find out. Now, I'll tell
you now. So they took pictures of heteros and homosexuals,
and they carefully chose to eliminate the effect of what
(26:40):
they called self presentation. They even photoshopped out their hair
and pasted them onto white backgrounds. So they're trying to
take anything out that isn't just the structure of the face,
and trying to leave nothing but their cheekbones and eyebrows
as hints into their sexuality. Then they showed the pictures
(27:01):
to a group of ninety people and asked them to
guess which faces were gay. The participants, according to Rule
and on Body, they claimed that they got the right
answer more often than not, thereby proving that everyone can
tell you're gay just by looking at you, even if
they don't realize it. And I'm like, I don't know
(27:22):
how that proves that it was ninety people? How often
did you repeat that? Okay? Apparently though, you know you're
not fooling anybody, so you might as well drop the act.
If you're closeted, everybody can just look at your face
and tell you're gay. Totally. I don't think that's true,
but okay. In twenty seventeen, Stanford professor Michael Kazinski took
spotting gay people by looking at their faces into the
(27:45):
new era. He turned that idea into what he claimed
was a working GAYDAR machine. Kazenski and his co author
one Yelun Wang had a facial recognition program scanned seventy
five thousand online dating profiles organized into groups of gay
(28:05):
and straight. Their AI And again, why the fuck are
we using this? Why are we using AI for dumb
shit like this? What does it have to do with anything?
What is it helping? Like God, oh, humanity? So the
AI program, it was programmed to identify patterns in quote,
(28:29):
gay facial features, what searching for the unique quirks that
unite all gay men. Then they pitted their machine against
humans to see who was better at identifying homosexuals. The
humans weren't much better at telling if someone was gay
by looking at their face than a coin flip, which duh,
which kind of ruins the entire point. If you only
(28:51):
have two choices, you've got a fifty percent chance of
being right. And this kind of ruined the entire point
of the study in the last entry. But anyway, the
point is that the machine got it right eighty one
percent of the time for gay men and seventy four
percent for lesbians. Finally, they had created an effective gaitar.
Now what are they gonna do with it? And who cares?
(29:15):
At least it was an effective gadar when looking at
people's tender profile pictures. When they tried using it on
pictures that people hadn't put up on dating apps, it
was slightly less effective or significantly. Really, still, they had
finally developed a machine that could identify the sexuality of
people who are actively and deliberately trying to make their
(29:36):
orientations as visible as possible. And again, that's like duh.
If you are on tender grinder whatever, and you're trying
to find someone to date, you wouldn't put like the
butchest photo of yourself up there unless you are like
a stone butch lesbian or something like that, you know
(29:56):
what I mean. You wouldn't be trying to like use
your link in profile picture or something like that. You're
gonna try and post things that make you look fun
and like who you really are to attract someone. So again,
these things make sense that they're I don't know, like
correlation is not causation. During the twenty fifteen conference of
(30:17):
the American Society of Human Genetics, a University of California
researcher named Tuck Nun made a bold declaration to the world.
He had isolated the gay gene and he's gonna weaponize
it into a gay bomb, just like in thirty Rock
And if you haven't seen that episode, oh sweet God. Specifically,
(30:39):
this Nun had found methylation marks sorry I choked on
that one, methylation marks that he believed could be connected
to homosexuality. His study had looked at thirty seven pairs
of identical male twins that consisted of one homosexual brother
and one heterosexual brother, and identified five methylation marks that
(31:01):
he claimed were clear biological indicators of homosexuality. And again
I say how so, and he said, well, sort of
kind of. Maybe. The scientific community wasn't very supportive for
good reason. They pointed out that he took or that
he looked at six thousand methylation marks in just thirty
(31:22):
seven sets of twins. That's a small sample group, which
made it pretty much inevitable that he'd be able to
find some kind of pattern between them, you know, just
by the sheer law of averages. And in this case,
Nune hadn't even found a very good pattern. It was
a pattern, but not a very good one. Even in
his test subjects, the gay ging he'd identified only showed
(31:44):
up in sixty seven percent of participants. So, no, those
aren't that's not great, that's not any sort of definitive proof. Again,
everybody's just trying to like make these statistics fit their
theory and doesn't seem to be working. There are some
devices that have been employed as gaydars, and they're still
(32:06):
fairly widespread today, like the penile plethysmograph. Yeah, that the
Czechoslovakian Czechoslovakian Army, I'm choking on all my words today.
We once used it to determine if men claiming to
be gay to avoid being drafted. We're telling the truth.
Give me a break. Here's how it works. Let me
(32:28):
just tell you. Let me tell you how the test works. First,
a scientist attaches a device shaped like a thin strip
of metal to the penis. It probably is a thin
strip of metal. Then he puts a variety of gay
pornography here we go, like the fruit machine or you
know whatever else they're attempting to determine the subject's response to.
And then they use the device to measure how erect
(32:49):
the man gets looking at each image. Admittedly, there are
probably easier ways to figure out someone's sexuality, like maybe,
for example, if a man attached is a thin strip
of metal to people's penises, shows them in gay porn
and then takes careful notes on how erect they get,
that might be a clue that he himself is gay.
(33:09):
But somehow, you know, this one is caught on and
is still used in various scientific studies today. Host Sweet
Jesus Okay. It has been hailed as one of the
most accurate sexuality tests known to man, and with good cause. Apparently,
this test has been proven to be an accurate determinant
(33:31):
of a man's sexual preferences. Get this, It's going to
blow you away thirty two percent of the time, and
that makes it the most effective, proven way to tell
somebody's sexuality other than literally just flipping a coin and
that's it. That's gaydar for you. Yeah, it's happening. Countries,
(33:55):
including the United States, are and have been spent money
on trying to figure out whether men largely just men lesbians? Really,
I only saw mentioned one time, are gay? Uh? Giving me?
Like I told you, this is just absurdity. You can't
(34:17):
make this kind of stuff up. It like things just
write themselves. I don't know how there aren't like better
movies and better original movies and shows out there now.
Because the absurdity of human beings and the things that
we choose to you know, hang our hats on the
hills we choose to die on. They're just sometimes the
(34:41):
most idiotic things you've ever heard. The fruit machine, give
me a break. I can tell a good bit of
the time, but with women, I have a harder time
honestly being able to tell whether you know they're into
(35:01):
women or not. Men A lot of the time it's
slightly easier to tell for me. I don't know but
I'm not saying everybody can tell. And if someone is
closeted like, that's their business. Don't ever try to like
out somebody that's horrendous and disgusting and could cause that
person to in their own lives, that's okay. And for
(35:26):
anybody that's like and again, I don't think anybody that
listens to this podcast would be like, well, why is
it a bad thing that the National Suicide Prevention Hotline
for LGBTQ plus people has been done away with? Why
is that a bad thing because of shit like this?
You guys like Gaydar Gaydar. Different countries governments are spending
(35:54):
their money on tests to determine whether or not people gay.
And again, to what end? Where is that leading to
the first people? Some of the first people rounded up
during the Holocaust were gay men. That's what the upside
down pink triangle is. That's what their their clothes were
(36:15):
marked with when they went to or when they were
sent to not win. They didn't go on their own
when they were taken and forced into concentration camps. There
are so many people that just like, don't have any
empathy anymore, and I don't understand it. It's I don't. Again,
I don't understand, like how and I feel like I'm
(36:36):
getting serious here, but I don't understand how who somebody
chooses to love, or what they choose to do with
their own lives or sexuality has any bearing whatsoever on
another person. Like, as long as they're being safe, as
long as they're not hurting anybody, why do you care
(36:57):
what anyone else does? Long as you're following, you know,
as long as you're being safe and not hurting anybody, again,
what does it matter? I just don't understand anybody who says,
why do they need gay pride? There's not a month
for veterans. Yes there is, Yes, there are. The month
(37:18):
before May is like Military service Members month or something
like that. They have a month. Let's deal in facts.
Let's come back to reality, everybody. Let's stop this bullshit, division, divisiveness,
constantly being on the defensive, Like, that's why we still
(37:40):
need pride, That's why we need it because of things
like this, because of attacks on drag performers and things
like that. I know this was last summer, but it's it. God,
it bears repeating attempting to frame drag performers and gay people.
In gen as groomers and pedophiles, when in fact straight
(38:03):
white men. It's straight white men, and again not all
straight white men. Shut the fuck up. If it's not you,
I don't care. I don't care me personally. I think
every pedophile and you're probably gonna be like, this is controversial.
But if you think it's controversial, okay, I think really
the death penalty should be reserved for pedophiles, point blank, period. Pedophiles,
(38:27):
sexual predators. Kill them, They'll never be rehabilitated, never, ever, ever, ever.
Gay people are having sex with I'm not saying all,
and this happens with straight people too, but they're having
consensual sexual relationships with people who are of legal age
(38:49):
to consent to those relationships or encounters, and that's the
most important thing, as long as the other person participating
in a sexual act. And also, why everything about gay
people made sexual? Is it because people who are obsessed
with gay people are latent homosexual? I think it is.
(39:10):
Why else would you be so vehement and just vicious
in attacking a group of people. Again, I don't understand.
And the verse in the Bible that they liked, quote
about laying with another man that got changed by King
JAMESY who was gay, who had sex with men. He
changed the Bible, the King James version of the Bible.
(39:33):
The original verse said they shall not that man shall
not lie with a boy talking about pedophilia, and King
James changed it. Look, I have studied the Bible. I
didn't want to. I came from an evangelical family. I've
studied the shit out of it. I know what's in there,
and I'm tired of people twisting it or using an
(39:55):
updated version, a version of the Bible, updated by a
king who fucked men talking about man shall not lie
with men because he's trying to cover his own ass,
but he wills on. This is a very adult episode.
I've said some pretty pretty perverse things. Anyway, Just let's
(40:16):
all just chill the fuck out, can we? And again,
I'm cussing a lot today. I don't really care. I'm
an adult, hopefully you're an adult. You're not my mom,
and I'll say whatever I want. You're not my mom
and you never will be. That was a heavy, heavy sigh,
happy fourth of whatever the fuck to you Tomorrow, I'm not.
(40:37):
My dad's birthday is the fifth, and so I will
be attending his birthday party. I will not be celebrating
a day of independence because quite literally, I'm I'm not
fully independent as a woman living in a red state
whose reproductive rights have indeed been taken and people are
being taken off the streets by jackass with Amazon bests
(41:01):
on and patches that say police and let me tell
you right now, come to my door, let me see it,
let me see you. Try to kidnap somebody in a
parking lot. I don't care. I'll jump on your back
like a spider monkey. I will put a hurting on you.
I will fuck you up. I'm not dealing with this shit.
Everybody needs to like not be neutral on any of
(41:23):
these issues anymore. We got to step up. I'm not
like trying to say let's go out and be violent. No,
don't do that. But if you do see something that
you know is a clear violation of human rights, because
get this, I don't know if you know this, uh,
being an immigrant who came to this country illegally, which
(41:43):
just means that you haven't, like, you know, jumped through
all the hoops which are incredibly difficult to do. That's
a misdemeanor. It's a misdemeanor. Infraction. Just FYI, it's not
drag them out of their house, bomb their which I've seen,
leave their kids in a truck while you kidnap their
(42:04):
mother out of a parking lot. It's a misdemeanor. Why
are they going to some camp in Florida? Why are
they being incarceration? Like, if you want to deport them, fine,
but it is a misdemeanor offence. It does not require
bounty hunters who are which I've been finding out more
(42:25):
and more. These are facts. These are deputized corrections officers
that are posing as federal agents. Okay, they want you
to believe they're federal, not all of them. But I
don't know. I think we just need to be careful.
This is a really slippery slope. The slope has been
slippery for a while. I feel like we're slipping down it.
(42:46):
I just don't understand why people hate so much, Like
it's it's baffling to me. I don't hate anybody, you know.
That's that's giving your energy and letting someone else affect
your life. Like, what's the point of hating anyone? Why
do not? Are you that bored with your own life?
Do you not have anything else going on like you
(43:09):
don't have love in your life, you don't have a family,
you don't have anything else to live for, but your
hatred of people who aren't bothering you. And also again
on the immigrant tip, they pay into Social Security and
every other you know their text, their paychecks are taxed.
They are not eligible for government assistance. This is bullshit
(43:34):
that's being pushed at you. Again. Facts. We need to
start dealing in facts, not on the internet, chat, gpting
or just saying shit on you know, whatever social media
app you're on, and the echo chamber below you of
jackasses who all look the same and have never left
(43:55):
their hometown. Just again, well, I think I just answered
my own question. Why is so much hate? Are they
just bored? Yeah? I think they are. I think some
people are just bored and looking for something to hang
or they're deflecting, like many people who take up the
Cross against Homosexuality turn out to be homosexuals, or so
(44:19):
many like youth pastors, cops, et cetera, that are anti
you know, oh, anti pedophilia, gay people are grooming our
children turn out to be pedophiles. And again I'm not
making that up. If you can get online, you can
look at the amount of their social media handles that
(44:42):
go or like Instagram handles, thread handles that only cover
that kind of thing, and like I think it was
the other day there were twenty nine white men arrested
for pedophilia or a child sex trafficking ring. What's wrong
with everyone? Like I, why is this a thing? I
(45:05):
don't understand? There's so much Just like again, we need
to just get rid of them. They need to be eliminated.
Pedophiles need to be eliminated. I'm gonna get on a list.
I'm gonna get on a fucking watch list. I'm scared,
and I'm gonna stop talking all that to say, why
waste your life, your energy, your time, like your your wellness,
(45:28):
your well being on hating when you could just go
talk to someone from the community that you hate so much,
Go talk to them and see if you still hate them,
you know what I mean, Like you might have more
in common with them. And then you think that we're
all human beings, we all live on the same planet,
(45:48):
we're all technically on the same team. Why are we
turning on each other the way that we are? Like,
I know this has always happened, but I feel like
this particular point in history is just like a powder
keg for lack of a better word or term, and
I kind of wish I didn't use it. Okay, anyway,
(46:10):
all that to say, do what you want. If you're
in the United States and you you know, if you
feel like celebrating, celebrate. If you feel like celebrating something else,
do that tomorrow, like just or today. Sorry, it'll be
releasing on the fourth of July. You know this, this
(46:30):
holiday is about independence from a king. And I just
can't imagine, you know, any of them seeing us now
and being like, oh, yeah, this is exactly what I
pictured for. They'd be horrified. They'd be like, what's going on?
Why are people just saying whatever they want to say?
(46:52):
And no one's being held accountable? And just all right,
I'm done. I'm gonna stop talking you guys again. I'm
preaching to the you know, to the converted. You guys,
I know, don't hate. I hope you don't. A new way.
There's certain people I don't like, you know. I don't
(47:13):
sit around thinking about them and like going out of
my way to make their lives miserable. I don't do
that unless like somebody really really crosses me and then
I do it tenfold. But it's quick and effective usually
when I do it, and then I don't think about
it again. Anyway, If you like what you hear, you
can hear more episodes every Friday, released on all podcast platforms.
(47:37):
You can buy me on social media on Instagram at
Autumns Podcast, Facebook, Autumns Audities, also Threads, Autumns Podcast, and
Patreon at Autumn's Audities. I will get around recording to
recording bonus episodes, hopefully this weekend, since it's going to
be a long weekend, and I'll get those out to
(47:57):
you because I do value you and and and appreciate
you so very much, and I do appreciate all of
you listening. And remember, if it's creepy and weird, you'll
find it here. H
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