August 21, 2025 • 35 mins
Download my free guide The Raíces Ritual for spiritual self-discovery.
That little voice inside your head has a way of keeping you small. The whispers of "I'm not good enough" or "Who do I think I am?" stop many of us before we even get started. But what if I told you that voice isn't actually yours?
Drawing from my own journey through teenage pregnancy, bankruptcy, and identity struggles, I explore how our harshest critic lives rent-free in our minds, shaped by childhood experiences, cultural expectations, and generational trauma. For those of us raised with "no seas presumida" messaging, shining too brightly felt dangerous – a lesson that followed me from high school classrooms to corporate boardrooms.
Self-sabotage isn't just negative self-talk; it's the actions we take (or avoid) that undermine our success. I share how fear of judgment kept me from launching this podcast for years and how I overcame the paralysis of perfectionism. The journey from self-doubt to self-compassion required practical tools: breath work to reset my nervous system, mirror work to rebuild self-trust, and boundaries to stop giving myself the leftovers after serving everyone else.
Healing begins when we recognize that the inner critic isn't truth – it's just old programming. Every time you choose kindness toward yourself, you're breaking cycles and healing generations forward and back. Remember: you are worthy of peace, love, joy, and success. Don't let that cabrona inner critic write your story. Tú eres la autora de tu vida.
Ready to go deeper? Join my one-on-one coaching program "The Inner Shift - De Adentro Pa' Afuera" where we'll clear the energy blocks and help you embody your authentic self. Visit dorapraxedis.com to learn more and download my free The Raíces Ritual for spiritual self-discovery.
Join the waitlist for The Inner Shift: 12 Week Coaching Program
Email: dora@dorapraxedis.com
Follow Dora on Instagram @dpraxedis
Check out the website: www.dorapraxedis.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dora (00:06):
Hi miji ta.
Let's be real for a second.
How many times have you toldyourself I'm not good enough?
Or who the hell do I think I am?
And boom, just like that, youstop yourself before you even
get started.
That little voice inside yourhead, esa cabrona, has a way of
keeping us small.
Today we're diving intoself-doubt, self-sabotage and
(00:30):
the inner critic.
All the ways we talk shit toourselves without even noticing.
Pero listen, healing startswith how we speak to ourselves.
Your relationship to you setsthe tone for everything else.
If you can shift the way youlove, hold and speak to yourself
(00:50):
, mijita, you will transformyour entire life.
Así que grab your cafecito,tecito or beverage of choice,
get cozy, or maybe pull out yourjournal and a pen.
This episode is going to feellike the loving yet real talk
you didn't know you needed.
(01:11):
Let's talk this out for what itis.
The inner critic is that littlemean girl or mean tío living
(01:32):
rent-free in your mind, the onethat whispers don't even try,
you'll fail.
Or mira, you're not smartenough, not pretty enough, not
disciplined enough.
Any of that sound familiar?
Here's the truth.
That voice, it's not even yours.
Nope, it comes from childhood,from cultura, from the survival
(02:03):
mode we had to live in.
Maybe it was a parent, maybe itwas society, maybe it was
generational trauma saying staysmall, don't make noise, don't
stand out oh goodness gracious.
I remember.
For me, this inner critic waswhen I was in school, like in
high school, and I would get abad grade.
I always felt that I needed toperform right and I needed to
make my mi papa super proudbecause I was a first gen and I
(02:28):
was a first born, a mujer,because he didn't have a guy
right, a boy, as his first born.
And so I always thought that Ineeded to prove myself.
And when it came to my grades Ithought, oh, I needed to get
straight A's and everything, butmy dad did not care, like
honestly did not care.
I think he got more upset withme when I drew on the walls with
(02:48):
chalk in art, because I waslike when I was in grade school
I had the three strikes andyou're out, kind of thing, or
like on the board, on thechalkboard, and the teacher
ended up like telling me oh, yougot to sit out or whatever.
I think I was talking to myfriends and not staying on task.
That's when I just decided tograb the chalk from the
(03:13):
chalkboard and just startdrawing on the wall, and I
remember my dad saying I'mdrawing on the walls and doing
stupid shit, and and I was like,oh my gosh, here we go.
And instead of like defendinghis kid, he like reprimanded me
even more.
So I know that was in a smallscale, but on a grander scale,
(03:35):
with my dad specifically, andall those around me, was when I
got pregnant at 16.
So I was my sophomore year inhigh school and I learned that
I'm pregnant with Philly.
Right, philly and I areexpecting.
And I decided, oh well, I'mgoing to figure life out, I'm
not going to tell my parentsuntil you know.
Way later.
And I was actually the maid ofhonor for my cousin's wedding,
(04:00):
and so I decided okay, I'm goingto wait until the wedding's
over, and then I'll tell them.
Four months into my pregnancy, Ileave them a letter on the
kitchen table.
I left one for my dad, phillyleft one for my mom explaining
you know, we're going to figurestuff out and I'm going to move
out, I'm going to take all mychivas and then go.
You know, live with Philly.
Well, little did I know that Ineeded to come back and I was
(04:27):
reported as a runaway.
My dad dropped me off, actuallythe day before the police come
knocking on the door take meback home.
And when I went to that policestation where I grew up in
Roselle Illinois, I saw my dadand my mom and my sisters were
sitting there crying.
They had no clue what was goingon, too little to understand
that their sister was pregnant.
(04:47):
And I would become like thelaughingstock, let's say, of the
family.
And everyone was going to in away like stop talking to us.
And for my parents keeping upthe appearances, keeping up with
the Joneses, like they caredabout what other people would
think, so, judging wise, myfriends just began to stop
(05:11):
talking to me.
My family stopped talking to usbecause they wanted to avoid
that like the plague right.
They didn't want theirdaughters getting pregnant or
doing anything like sexual rightToo early at 16 16.
But I kind of knew better, likePili wasn't my first boyfriend,
so, um, we'll leave it there.
So going through this good girlmentality was real, like that
(05:33):
was ingrained in my like bonesand when I started feeling that
judgment, especially with my dad, I could just tell that
something totally like cracked.
There was no going back.
So with my dad, I could justtell that something totally like
cracked, there was no goingback.
So with my dad, he told me hefelt completely disappointed in
me and ever since that pointforward, like I kind of grieved
(05:54):
my dad at 16 because that wasthe version of my dad, that he
was so loving and caring beforeup to that moment and then after
that it just went really southour relationship.
So with that whole situation Iwas so hard on myself I thought,
oh, I'm doomed.
I listened to everyone.
They're like oh you're, youknow you're not going to make it
(06:15):
out, just graduate high school,get a job, support your
daughter who knows if the babydaddy's going to stay with you.
And fast forward to now.
Philly and I are still together23 years.
Bumpy road, of course, but itwasn't easy.
And especially fighting thoseinner thoughts of thinking, oh,
(06:36):
I'm the worst daughter, I'm theworst mom, I'm the worst
girlfriend, I'm the worsteverything.
I'm the worst student, becausenow I have to balance my books
on one lap and balance mydaughter and the other trying to
feed her the bottle.
Like it was crazy.
And I had honors and advancedclasses, so I thought I was a
smart cookie.
But oh my, it was a lot of work.
I remember just sleeping likethree, four hours just to get my
(06:57):
homework done.
And my son actually just startedhigh school and let me tell you
it's triggering me as fuckright now because he's in soccer
.
He wakes up sometimes early forpractice.
He just started last week.
Like drop him off at before sixin the morning and then I have
to pick him up at five becausehe's practicing and then he has
honors classes too and a lot offucking homework.
(07:17):
I'm like, oh, I don't missthose days, but now everything's
on the fucking iPad.
So there you go.
But that's where it's sobeautiful in the same sense, and
I feel like full circle becauseI'm giving my kids a different
life, you know.
But they still feel thatjudgment, probably from us,
right, the expectation, but forme, having that judgment from
(07:39):
others was really harsh.
I would say I was expected todo a lot more than I could
endure at the time.
I worked three jobs during mysenior year, didn't really see
my daughter and she was aboutone and a half when I moved out
with Philly after graduatinghigh school and just building
(08:00):
your own family or building yourown foundation, working, going
to school, getting accepted to auniversity of your dreams, but
it was a lot to hang on to.
You know, it was a lot to gothrough.
And being able to always be thesuperstar or the A student
(08:21):
slowly began fading away becauseI needed to get by, I needed to
survive slowly began fadingaway because I needed to get by,
I needed to survive.
So I remember waking up and it'slike you got to do this, you
got to do it for your daughter,you got to do it.
I don't know where you're goingto find the strength, or else
you're going to be a failure,and I was so scared of being a
failure.
Everything that was told to methat I wouldn't succeed in
everything, I kind of transmutedthat to be the force for me to
(08:45):
move forward, for me to move onand keep continuing on, just so
el dia de mañana, you know, inthe future, my daughter didn't
say because of her I didn'tsucceed, or because of her I
didn't go to school and I didn'tdo all these big dreams that I
had for myself.
And so, going through thosemotions and being so crappy to
(09:07):
myself, I remember tellingmyself that I was so stupid,
that I was so dumb that you know, I would be paralyzed in fear
because I just cared so much ofwhat other people would think
about me.
So that inner voice, like it's,it's for real.
So let's just pause and thinkright now for a second.
(09:28):
What does your inner criticsound like?
Is it sarcastic?
Is it fearful?
Does it use your mom's voice?
Write it down or say it outloud.
Naming it is the first step toactually healing.
Out loud Naming it is the firststep to actually healing.
(09:52):
So take a moment here, pause orjust meditate on what comes up
(10:20):
for you.
Now let's get spicy, becausethat inner critic doesn't just
talk, she takes the wheel, shemakes you self-sabotage, you
procrastinate, you break downyour own promises, you ghost
yourself, you stop showing upfor the very thing you've been
(10:43):
praying for.
And let's be real, sometimesit's easier to quit than to risk
failing.
But guess what?
That's not just protection,that's self-sabotage dressed up
as safety.
So I'm going to be completelytransparent with you on this.
When I started this podcast Ithink I started last year in May
(11:07):
I dropped my first trailer andI try to figure stuff out, like
the tech and how to upload andall that, and I thought I needed
, like this fancy website andall these gadgets, right, I, my
sister gifted me a podcast bookand a podcast microphone, like
about five years ago duringCOVID, and I'm like, oh yeah,
(11:28):
I'm going to record.
Right, I was scared, shitless.
Like I was really, reallyscared because I was not liking
the sound of my voice or therewas something always in the
works, right, of working myselfup that, oh, people are not
going to like it.
I don't know what I'm going totalk about.
People are going to think I'mweird, like especially knowing
(11:51):
me as the accountant like I'mtalking about spirituality and
astrology and human design andall these things.
And I was actually justthinking about that this week,
about how, eight years ago, whenI hurt my back, I started
documenting mentally and on myphone like voice notes, and you
got to see my office.
I have like pads and pads andpads of paper, like legal pads
(12:15):
of all the notes.
I've taken my phone Like Ithink a few years ago I ran out
of storage and I needed toinvest in my Google drive and
upgrade, you know, for thestorage.
It's been a ride.
It's been eight years that I'vebeen at it, especially when this
podcast was born and I knewthat I wanted to call it iMijita
(12:37):
, so I ended up buying thedomain name for iMijitacom four
years back.
And for me, I think, sometimes,when you think of something and
you don't act upon it likesomeone and I don't know if this
has happened to you, butsomething you think about or you
dream about, all of a suddensomebody else kind of does it if
(12:57):
you don't act upon it.
So I felt like somebody else isgoing to come out with the damn
podcast and talk about thesethings and I'm not right,
they're going to beat me to thepunch.
But for some reason I've beenworking at it ever since and,
god willing, I was able to putthis out and it required so much
of me to be able to record, tobe vulnerable.
(13:17):
There was another thing I justput out this year, earlier.
This year was a post about tarotreading, or oracle card
readings, and I don't really dotarot.
It's more of oracle cards likethe ones I read at the end of
some episodes, and for me it's adivinity tool and I thought
(13:39):
people were gonna think that I'mvery odd, right, like what the
fuck is Dora doing with likeoracle cards and stuff?
I think I posted a story like acouple years back of me.
Oh no, it was like three, fouryears ago and I thought, oh, I
will do this right on the sideor whatnot, like I'll post
slides.
Yeah, no, didn't happen.
But again, it was all because Iwas getting in my head Like I
(13:59):
thought I needed to look acertain way, I needed to have
the lights, I needed to be alllike dolled up with makeup and
you know my hair and I need todress a certain part.
And that's where I was justgetting in my head and I'm happy
that I was able to overcomethat fear and actually put
something out.
But I sabotage myself so manytimes and I do that with so many
(14:21):
different things that I want toput out there, so many
offerings, how I want to help.
One of the things that I didn'tclaim my power was with
coaching, like being able tohelp individuals, specifically
women.
But I work with anyone.
I'm coaching them on what theirchallenges during their life.
(14:42):
You know where are they at thispoint in time and moment and I
thought I didn't know enough.
I thought, oh, I have to be thetherapist and I have to get all
these degrees and I have tosign up for all these classes
and so historically, especiallythese past few years, I've been
investing a lot in myself but Ijust didn't think I was worthy
enough.
I thought, oh, I'm just goingto sign up for the free stuff,
(15:02):
the webinars and stuff.
But this year I've actuallystarted dropping some money on
coaching, business coaches,spiritual collectives and the
like and working with otherhealers simultaneously, and
that's where I thought I neededmore credentials.
(15:23):
But what I was really afraid ofwas being judged being judged
that I didn't know enough or Iwasn't good enough, and that's
how I was starting to get in myown way.
But once I start working with aperson like I, just I don't
know what happens that theperson gets what they need and I
get what they need, and we tendto like reciprocate.
You know that energy.
(15:44):
I'm able to take a person fromfeeling overwhelmed, having the
challenge going through themotions, feeling like the world
is crumbling and falling apartall around them, and I'm able to
guide them to a place whereit's like calm, grounded.
We get to the root of theproblem and I'm able to do it
like within an hour or likewithin 30 minutes of working
(16:04):
with someone.
It's like amazing how thatstuff happens.
But at first I was so afraidthat people were just going to
think, oh, what does she knowabout my business?
Or like, mis cosas, misproblemas.
They sometimes would think thatI have a perfect life.
I'm like, whew, people onlyknew.
And I think that's where Iwanted to use this platform too,
(16:25):
is to talk about the real shitthat everybody goes through day
to day.
And what I go through and whatI've been through and you know
in the past, like, for example,money wise, I'm still working
through those money wounds.
It was what, like 12 years ago,I declared bankruptcy and that
was something that you wouldn'texpect from accountant.
(16:45):
Right, like to declarebankruptcy and have a shitty
like credit and all that.
But fortunately my husband andI have been able to crawl
ourselves out of that, thosehabits, and we still kind of go
through the motions.
Right, we endure some debt andthen we have to kind of crawl
out of it again and it's allthese patterns.
But again it's like the way youthink, it's the mindset.
It's not necessarily like yougot to save and you have to like
(17:08):
avoid that.
Sometimes it's more of what isthe life you want to live.
But then again, like are youwilling to take a risk, and then
you know you're going to makeit up, you know you're going to
get better.
But sometimes it's all in yourhead Right, and that's the one
(17:32):
thing that I had, and I stillcontinue to work on, is trying
to overcome those fears that I'mgoing to be broke, that I'm
going to be homeless, that I'mgoing to lose everything.
Because guess what?
I've already lost a lot ofdifferent times in my life.
I've lost everything.
Everything is burned to theground, and I later realized
that that's something that youjust build stronger.
And to top it off, here's thecultura piece.
So many of us grew up being tolddon't act too much, no seas
presumida.
We were trained to stay humble,quiet, small.
(17:54):
So when we try to shine, theold programming kicks in.
So I want you to take a moment,think back.
What was the last opportunity?
You had something you wanted sobadly and you stopped yourself.
What excuse did you use?
Was it I don't have time, or Idon't have money, or I'll do it
(18:22):
later.
Write that shit down, becausewhen we see the pattern, we can
then work on breaking it.
Okay, so now that we've draggedla criticona out into the light,
let's talk healing, because youcannot shame or bully yourself
into transformation.
Healing starts with compassion,with reparenting the inner
(18:43):
child.
What does that mean?
It means you give yourself whatyou didn't get.
You become la mama, theprotector, the cheerleader you
always needed.
You stop saying I'm broken andyou start saying I'm healing,
I'm learning, I'm growing.
So cut yourself some grace.
(19:14):
So one thing that I starteddoing in the mornings and then
throughout the day was to reallypause and think and hold myself
, like especially if I wasfeeling that emotional drive.
You know the emotions, thecrying unconsolably for no
reason, and that's where I wouldthen learn.
Later did I learn?
It was called emotionalregulation, but that's where I
(19:35):
would like ground myself, andthat could be walking outside
like feeling the grass in myfeet, like bare feet, and that I
learned from my coach myinitial coach and then I started
diving into astrology and humandesign to understand myself a
little bit better.
And that's like foreignlanguage if you don't get it,
(19:57):
and I totally see where you'recoming from if you don't
understand either of thosethings, but it really helped me
dig into.
Oh, this is why I am the way Iam, for example, being a
generator.
I like to start shit, but Idon't like to finish it
sometimes, and that is most ofus, most of the people in
population, and that I callnormal.
(20:19):
So at least that was a commonthread right with other people.
And so I've learned also, too,that I need to follow my gut,
like I have a sacral authorityfrom a human design perspective,
and if my gut says uh-huh, likeit's a yes, then I have to
honor that.
Sometimes my brain's like no,that's just, that's crazy, why,
why are we gonna go down thisroute?
(20:39):
It's not logically making senseright now.
But if I am like in my gut, ifI'm no, like I don't know about
that, like I have a funnyfeeling, well, I should honor
that, or else I'm going to endup paying 10 times more.
The other thing, too, is likehow you talk to yourself.
(21:00):
Would you talk to a friend likethat, se lo dirías a tu amiga,
se lo dirías a un niño, likewould you say well, I know, like
my kids, sometimes I want tosay you know, but would you
really say that to someone likea stranger?
Would you treat them like that?
And maybe you will right, maybeyou do say those things in your
head and you would say them outloud and you have diarrhea of
(21:22):
the mouth.
That's fine, but you want totreat yourself with respect,
like you need to respect that.
But I respect that, right,that's like a golden rule
somewhere and that's where Iwould catch myself having these
negative self-talks, especiallyif I make a mistake at work
specifically.
Oh my God, I would cry.
(21:43):
I know my coworkers have seenme cry at my desk because I made
a big ass mistake and it usedto be $600.
Now it's like more in thethousands or, if not, millions,
and of course, that's not okay,right?
I mean, as life goes on, it'sjust bigger stakes, bigger
responsibilities that you haveflipping that script for myself
(22:11):
on.
Okay, all right, dora, wefucked up.
Right now, we screwed this up.
But how can we make it right?
How can we do thisprospectively and what was the
issue?
What happened?
So we can fix it?
Moving forward, and sometimesbeautiful things happen from
mistakes, like you end uplearning and investigating and
if you're like me, I doubt myworld as to what's credible,
what's not, and I tend to liketake everything apart and try to
(22:33):
build it together, like I'mgood at that.
So now it's like mistakeshappen because it's an
opportunity.
Take it as that.
Take it as an opportunity thatI'm going to get better, that
this is just another iterationand we're not going to do it
perfect.
That's what life is all about.
(22:54):
Like I know, ai is supposedlyperfection right, that they're
going to replace like a bunch ofstuff that we do, but making a
mistake proves you're human, youknow we have that connection,
connection, and so takeadvantage of that.
Take advantage of thoselearning opportunities.
And failure is the firstattempt in learning.
(23:14):
That be learning something new,learning something for the 10th
time, like you keep on at itright, you keep on practicing,
you keep on going through themotions because it's going to
get better and better, like thewine.
You know you got to keep itgoing.
So grab your journal and writedown three things your inner
critic says to you on repeat.
(23:35):
Now reframe each one of those.
For example, I'm not enough.
You can reframe that with.
I am rooted in my ancestors'strength.
I am more than enough.
I am rooted in my ancestors'strength.
I am more than enough.
Or I'm always messing things up.
You can reframe that with.
I'm learning.
Every mistake is wisdom for mypath, and I'll give you one more
(23:59):
.
I'll never get it right.
You can reframe that to.
I am already on my way.
My timing is perfect.
Now let's get into practical,porque we need tools, otherwise
that inner critic will keeprunning the show.
Here are some of my go-tosBreath work Just three deep
(24:27):
breaths to reset your nervoussystem when you're spiraling out
of control.
That, or you could do the boxmethod, which is four breaths in
, hold it for four, and thenfour breaths out, or four counts
, not breaths, and then, whenyou breathe out for four, you
hold it at the end there forfour, and then you repeat three
more times, or how many ever youfeel like you need.
(24:50):
The next that I like to do ismirror work.
So that is legit.
What it sounds like is going tothe mirror, looking at yourself
in your eyes and saying I loveyou, I trust you, you are enough
.
So I dare you to do that.
(25:10):
Well, not right now, if you'redriving in that I mean if you
are a stoplight or that, you cando it but go to the mirror and
say those things I love you, Itrust you, you are enough and
look at yourself in the eyes.
You know Ojo, ojo, like.
Look deep in those eyes becauseyou are beautiful in and out.
(25:34):
My next one is affirmations andlimpias.
So you can definitely writesome affirmations down and you
can cleanse your energy withherbs, the huevo or even a
shower with intention cleanseyour energy with herbs, the
huevo or even a shower withintention.
The last one is boundaries withyourself, and this one's a
(25:56):
little more like I don't want tosay high difficulty level, but
this one takes a little bit ofaccountability with yourself,
because you have to stop overcommitting, stop promising la
luna y las estrellas to everyoneelse in the world while giving
yourself las millajas, thecrumbs.
So my favorite thing to do toground myself and maybe this is
(26:17):
an extra bonus one is I pulloracle cards in the morning or I
journal and then I do a limpiaespecially with the palo santo
is my go-to in the morning.
I do three circles and I say Irelease all negative energy.
I release all negative energy.
I release all negative energy,and that's especially when I'm
(26:39):
feeling heavy.
So before I usually do thosethings, I feel the heaviness and
I feel chaotic at times, andI'll probably sometimes do it
during the day as well, if I'mfeeling like after a meeting,
I'm like, oh, that person hadlike heavy energy, or that was a
lot or I felt overwhelmed or Ifeel it coming on, and that's
(26:59):
where doing that piece ofrealignment will center you, to
then be able to think clear.
So when they say, when you'regoing through a problem or
you're doing something like veryintensive, you need to step
away, sometimes, take a break,well, I was notorious, and I'm
(27:21):
still notorious, for justworking through my lunch and
that.
But if you take those thatminute break or you know, take
that time to yourself, a fewminutes, you will notice a shift
and for some reason, theanswers will come to you.
So trust that.
So, in reflection of this,what's one tool you can commit
(27:42):
to this week?
I mean, I'm not saying forever,I'm just saying maybe seven
days, breath work, thejournaling, maybe a limpia,
write it down and actually do it.
This is how transformationhappens Little by little, brick
by brick.
We're building this journeytogether.
(28:02):
Mijita, aquí está la verdad.
The inner critic isn't truth,it's just a voice from
conditioning, it's oldprogramming and healing.
It's reclaiming your voice,your essence, your poder.
Every time you choose to speakkindly to yourself, you're
(28:24):
breaking cycles.
Every time you choose self-loveinstead of self-sabotage,
you're healing generationsforward and generations back.
So I used to really lose myself,and being the accountant at
work and I actually thought thatwas my identity, was what I did
(28:46):
at work, and little did I knowI was in so much more capacity
to do so much other thingsbesides work.
Right, I'm not every time Iwould introduce myself.
It would be I'm the accountantor I'm an accountant, and it
wasn't just that.
It's like I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I volunteer in
my community, I'm a presidentof the board at an organization.
(29:09):
I love All these various things.
I volunteer on the weekdays.
I'm a soccer coach.
I love to work with individualson their challenges.
I'm a life coach, I'm a healerAll these various things, all
these facets.
We are multifaceted people andI can multitask.
(29:29):
So when I lost myself in themode of like I'm an accountant,
instead of like showing up in mytrue self, I would actually
code switch at work.
I would walk in through thedoor and I would be like
business, dora, you know, like Ihave to keep my life outside.
I can't cry at work, I can't doanything at work.
Like I felt like I was robotic,like zombie mode.
I can't cry at work, I can't doanything at work.
I felt like I was robotic, likezombie mode, and that was such
(29:52):
a crappy era I felt like a blackhole somehow that I would just
go into there and I had noemotions, no feelings.
I would just go to work and Iwould be nice.
I mean, it wasn't like I wasjust completely robotic with no
emotions, but I would be nice.
It's just it wasn't the me,like my throat chakra or you
(30:14):
know, being able to verbalizesomething took me so long, like
people.
I remember when the president ofthe company told me I need to
be more assertive and I thoughtthat was, I need to be a bitch,
and that was totally not.
It got the wrong memo.
So I didn't really work withpeople.
I didn't ask for help.
I thought I had to be thechingona at work too and I had
to figure it all out on my own.
(30:35):
And you know the other thingtoo I would show up sick, like
this is way before COVID, but Iwould be like drugged up on
antibiotics and NyQuil andDayQuil and the works and
everything and sinuses orwhatever I've worked through ear
infections, migraines andeverything.
And then when people would come, oh, she missed work because
she had a migraine or oh, shewas sick.
(30:56):
I'm like oh, my parents taughtme you got to work because you
got to get that money.
You got to work hard.
And that's where I didn'trealize I was so overriding all
my boundaries Well, I didn'teven have boundaries back then
but I was not honoring myself.
I would work through like Ilegit because we live in Chicago
(31:17):
I would drive to the office inlike a severe snowstorm and my
daughter I would take mydaughter with me and she would
help out and people call mecrazy because it's like what are
you doing here?
I live like an hour away.
It would take me two hours inthe snow with rear wheel
transmission or whatever in myDodge Charger and it would take
(31:41):
me two hours to get to work andI couldn't even stop at the
stoplight because I would justget stuck in the snow.
That was how much of adedicated worker I was.
But I didn't realize I wasn'tbeing my authentic self and I
wasn't using my authentic voice.
I was actually being the goodgirl.
I was being the one that wasconditioned to be like oh yes,
whatever you say, the peoplepleaser the one that got shit
(32:03):
done and did it with a smile.
That's how, how I was, andinstead of now, where I actually
advocate for myself, for myteam and my teammates, I'm like,
wait, this doesn't make sense.
Can you explain it to me alittle more, or a little more
detail, or help me understandthis?
Because I'm not following andbefore it was kind of like, oh,
I would just take notes and it'slike, okay, cool, I'll have it
(32:24):
done, and I would actually do alot of manual work that was so
unnecessary, the busy work, andI don't know if it was because I
thought people needed me, orlike job security, that it was
all living in my head.
But yeah, no, documentationshould be real, like being able
to roll out processes and allthat.
Like now I understand why.
So you don't wanna be stuckdoing the grunt work, right, you
(32:48):
want to optimize things.
So that's where I finally wentfrom losing myself and everyone
else's needs and finallyreclaiming the Dora.
That was me, the real me.
Mijita, you are worthy.
If nobody has told you that,you are fucking worthy.
Worthy of peace, of love, ofjoy, of success.
Don't let that cabrona innercritic write your story.
(33:11):
You get to write it everysingle day when you wake up.
You get to dictate what's themood today.
What am I going to do?
Tú eres la autora de tu vida.
Thank you, if today's episodespoke to you, share with a
(33:51):
friend who needs to hear thisand if you're ready to go deeper
, to break these patterns andreclaim your esencia, join me
inside of my one-on-one coachingprogram.
The inner shift de adentro paraafuera.
This is where we go all in onhealing the wounds, clearing the
energy and embodying yourauthentic self.
You can learn more at www.
dorapraxedis.
com and it's right there on mywebsite and you can also get a
(34:15):
free um freebie the Raiceschecklist that I put together.
It covers everything from thelimpia astrology um birth charts
and a little bit more about myoffering the one-on-one coaching
.
Or you can reach out to me viaemail at dora D-O-R-A at
(34:38):
dorapraxedis.
com.
You can also follow me onInstagram @dpraxedis, and you
can also send me a DM with yourbiggest takeaway.
Let's keep that conversationgoing and I'm so curious to see
what your takeaways are fromtoday's episode.
And remember, embrace yourraices, reclaim your esencia.
(35:01):
Nos vemos pronto Con cariño.
Les mando un fuerte abrazo.
Que estén bien, and we'll seeyou next time.
Hi miji ta.
Let's be real for a second.
How many times have you toldyourself I'm not good enough?
Or who the hell do I think I am?
And boom, just like that, youstop yourself before you even
get started.
That little voice inside yourhead, esa cabrona, has a way of
keeping us small.
Today we're diving intoself-doubt, self-sabotage and
(00:30):
the inner critic.
All the ways we talk shit toourselves without even noticing.
Pero listen, healing startswith how we speak to ourselves.
Your relationship to you setsthe tone for everything else.
If you can shift the way youlove, hold and speak to yourself
(00:50):
, mijita, you will transformyour entire life.
Así que grab your cafecito,tecito or beverage of choice,
get cozy, or maybe pull out yourjournal and a pen.
This episode is going to feellike the loving yet real talk
you didn't know you needed.
(01:11):
Let's talk this out for what itis.
The inner critic is that littlemean girl or mean tío living
(01:32):
rent-free in your mind, the onethat whispers don't even try,
you'll fail.
Or mira, you're not smartenough, not pretty enough, not
disciplined enough.
Any of that sound familiar?
Here's the truth.
That voice, it's not even yours.
Nope, it comes from childhood,from cultura, from the survival
(02:03):
mode we had to live in.
Maybe it was a parent, maybe itwas society, maybe it was
generational trauma saying staysmall, don't make noise, don't
stand out oh goodness gracious.
I remember.
For me, this inner critic waswhen I was in school, like in
high school, and I would get abad grade.
I always felt that I needed toperform right and I needed to
make my mi papa super proudbecause I was a first gen and I
(02:28):
was a first born, a mujer,because he didn't have a guy
right, a boy, as his first born.
And so I always thought that Ineeded to prove myself.
And when it came to my grades Ithought, oh, I needed to get
straight A's and everything, butmy dad did not care, like
honestly did not care.
I think he got more upset withme when I drew on the walls with
(02:48):
chalk in art, because I waslike when I was in grade school
I had the three strikes andyou're out, kind of thing, or
like on the board, on thechalkboard, and the teacher
ended up like telling me oh, yougot to sit out or whatever.
I think I was talking to myfriends and not staying on task.
That's when I just decided tograb the chalk from the
(03:13):
chalkboard and just startdrawing on the wall, and I
remember my dad saying I'mdrawing on the walls and doing
stupid shit, and and I was like,oh my gosh, here we go.
And instead of like defendinghis kid, he like reprimanded me
even more.
So I know that was in a smallscale, but on a grander scale,
(03:35):
with my dad specifically, andall those around me, was when I
got pregnant at 16.
So I was my sophomore year inhigh school and I learned that
I'm pregnant with Philly.
Right, philly and I areexpecting.
And I decided, oh well, I'mgoing to figure life out, I'm
not going to tell my parentsuntil you know.
Way later.
And I was actually the maid ofhonor for my cousin's wedding,
(04:00):
and so I decided okay, I'm goingto wait until the wedding's
over, and then I'll tell them.
Four months into my pregnancy, Ileave them a letter on the
kitchen table.
I left one for my dad, phillyleft one for my mom explaining
you know, we're going to figurestuff out and I'm going to move
out, I'm going to take all mychivas and then go.
You know, live with Philly.
Well, little did I know that Ineeded to come back and I was
(04:27):
reported as a runaway.
My dad dropped me off, actuallythe day before the police come
knocking on the door take meback home.
And when I went to that policestation where I grew up in
Roselle Illinois, I saw my dadand my mom and my sisters were
sitting there crying.
They had no clue what was goingon, too little to understand
that their sister was pregnant.
(04:47):
And I would become like thelaughingstock, let's say, of the
family.
And everyone was going to in away like stop talking to us.
And for my parents keeping upthe appearances, keeping up with
the Joneses, like they caredabout what other people would
think, so, judging wise, myfriends just began to stop
(05:11):
talking to me.
My family stopped talking to usbecause they wanted to avoid
that like the plague right.
They didn't want theirdaughters getting pregnant or
doing anything like sexual rightToo early at 16 16.
But I kind of knew better, likePili wasn't my first boyfriend,
so, um, we'll leave it there.
So going through this good girlmentality was real, like that
(05:33):
was ingrained in my like bonesand when I started feeling that
judgment, especially with my dad, I could just tell that
something totally like cracked.
There was no going back.
So with my dad, I could justtell that something totally like
cracked, there was no goingback.
So with my dad, he told me hefelt completely disappointed in
me and ever since that pointforward, like I kind of grieved
(05:54):
my dad at 16 because that wasthe version of my dad, that he
was so loving and caring beforeup to that moment and then after
that it just went really southour relationship.
So with that whole situation Iwas so hard on myself I thought,
oh, I'm doomed.
I listened to everyone.
They're like oh you're, youknow you're not going to make it
(06:15):
out, just graduate high school,get a job, support your
daughter who knows if the babydaddy's going to stay with you.
And fast forward to now.
Philly and I are still together23 years.
Bumpy road, of course, but itwasn't easy.
And especially fighting thoseinner thoughts of thinking, oh,
(06:36):
I'm the worst daughter, I'm theworst mom, I'm the worst
girlfriend, I'm the worsteverything.
I'm the worst student, becausenow I have to balance my books
on one lap and balance mydaughter and the other trying to
feed her the bottle.
Like it was crazy.
And I had honors and advancedclasses, so I thought I was a
smart cookie.
But oh my, it was a lot of work.
I remember just sleeping likethree, four hours just to get my
(06:57):
homework done.
And my son actually just startedhigh school and let me tell you
it's triggering me as fuckright now because he's in soccer
.
He wakes up sometimes early forpractice.
He just started last week.
Like drop him off at before sixin the morning and then I have
to pick him up at five becausehe's practicing and then he has
honors classes too and a lot offucking homework.
(07:17):
I'm like, oh, I don't missthose days, but now everything's
on the fucking iPad.
So there you go.
But that's where it's sobeautiful in the same sense, and
I feel like full circle becauseI'm giving my kids a different
life, you know.
But they still feel thatjudgment, probably from us,
right, the expectation, but forme, having that judgment from
(07:39):
others was really harsh.
I would say I was expected todo a lot more than I could
endure at the time.
I worked three jobs during mysenior year, didn't really see
my daughter and she was aboutone and a half when I moved out
with Philly after graduatinghigh school and just building
(08:00):
your own family or building yourown foundation, working, going
to school, getting accepted to auniversity of your dreams, but
it was a lot to hang on to.
You know, it was a lot to gothrough.
And being able to always be thesuperstar or the A student
(08:21):
slowly began fading away becauseI needed to get by, I needed to
survive slowly began fadingaway because I needed to get by,
I needed to survive.
So I remember waking up and it'slike you got to do this, you
got to do it for your daughter,you got to do it.
I don't know where you're goingto find the strength, or else
you're going to be a failure,and I was so scared of being a
failure.
Everything that was told to methat I wouldn't succeed in
everything, I kind of transmutedthat to be the force for me to
(08:45):
move forward, for me to move onand keep continuing on, just so
el dia de mañana, you know, inthe future, my daughter didn't
say because of her I didn'tsucceed, or because of her I
didn't go to school and I didn'tdo all these big dreams that I
had for myself.
And so, going through thosemotions and being so crappy to
(09:07):
myself, I remember tellingmyself that I was so stupid,
that I was so dumb that you know, I would be paralyzed in fear
because I just cared so much ofwhat other people would think
about me.
So that inner voice, like it's,it's for real.
So let's just pause and thinkright now for a second.
(09:28):
What does your inner criticsound like?
Is it sarcastic?
Is it fearful?
Does it use your mom's voice?
Write it down or say it outloud.
Naming it is the first step toactually healing.
Out loud Naming it is the firststep to actually healing.
(09:52):
So take a moment here, pause orjust meditate on what comes up
(10:20):
for you.
Now let's get spicy, becausethat inner critic doesn't just
talk, she takes the wheel, shemakes you self-sabotage, you
procrastinate, you break downyour own promises, you ghost
yourself, you stop showing upfor the very thing you've been
(10:43):
praying for.
And let's be real, sometimesit's easier to quit than to risk
failing.
But guess what?
That's not just protection,that's self-sabotage dressed up
as safety.
So I'm going to be completelytransparent with you on this.
When I started this podcast Ithink I started last year in May
(11:07):
I dropped my first trailer andI try to figure stuff out, like
the tech and how to upload andall that, and I thought I needed
, like this fancy website andall these gadgets, right, I, my
sister gifted me a podcast bookand a podcast microphone, like
about five years ago duringCOVID, and I'm like, oh yeah,
(11:28):
I'm going to record.
Right, I was scared, shitless.
Like I was really, reallyscared because I was not liking
the sound of my voice or therewas something always in the
works, right, of working myselfup that, oh, people are not
going to like it.
I don't know what I'm going totalk about.
People are going to think I'mweird, like especially knowing
(11:51):
me as the accountant like I'mtalking about spirituality and
astrology and human design andall these things.
And I was actually justthinking about that this week,
about how, eight years ago, whenI hurt my back, I started
documenting mentally and on myphone like voice notes, and you
got to see my office.
I have like pads and pads andpads of paper, like legal pads
(12:15):
of all the notes.
I've taken my phone Like Ithink a few years ago I ran out
of storage and I needed toinvest in my Google drive and
upgrade, you know, for thestorage.
It's been a ride.
It's been eight years that I'vebeen at it, especially when this
podcast was born and I knewthat I wanted to call it iMijita
(12:37):
, so I ended up buying thedomain name for iMijitacom four
years back.
And for me, I think, sometimes,when you think of something and
you don't act upon it likesomeone and I don't know if this
has happened to you, butsomething you think about or you
dream about, all of a suddensomebody else kind of does it if
(12:57):
you don't act upon it.
So I felt like somebody else isgoing to come out with the damn
podcast and talk about thesethings and I'm not right,
they're going to beat me to thepunch.
But for some reason I've beenworking at it ever since and,
god willing, I was able to putthis out and it required so much
of me to be able to record, tobe vulnerable.
(13:17):
There was another thing I justput out this year, earlier.
This year was a post about tarotreading, or oracle card
readings, and I don't really dotarot.
It's more of oracle cards likethe ones I read at the end of
some episodes, and for me it's adivinity tool and I thought
(13:39):
people were gonna think that I'mvery odd, right, like what the
fuck is Dora doing with likeoracle cards and stuff?
I think I posted a story like acouple years back of me.
Oh no, it was like three, fouryears ago and I thought, oh, I
will do this right on the sideor whatnot, like I'll post
slides.
Yeah, no, didn't happen.
But again, it was all because Iwas getting in my head Like I
(13:59):
thought I needed to look acertain way, I needed to have
the lights, I needed to be alllike dolled up with makeup and
you know my hair and I need todress a certain part.
And that's where I was justgetting in my head and I'm happy
that I was able to overcomethat fear and actually put
something out.
But I sabotage myself so manytimes and I do that with so many
(14:21):
different things that I want toput out there, so many
offerings, how I want to help.
One of the things that I didn'tclaim my power was with
coaching, like being able tohelp individuals, specifically
women.
But I work with anyone.
I'm coaching them on what theirchallenges during their life.
(14:42):
You know where are they at thispoint in time and moment and I
thought I didn't know enough.
I thought, oh, I have to be thetherapist and I have to get all
these degrees and I have tosign up for all these classes
and so historically, especiallythese past few years, I've been
investing a lot in myself but Ijust didn't think I was worthy
enough.
I thought, oh, I'm just goingto sign up for the free stuff,
(15:02):
the webinars and stuff.
But this year I've actuallystarted dropping some money on
coaching, business coaches,spiritual collectives and the
like and working with otherhealers simultaneously, and
that's where I thought I neededmore credentials.
(15:23):
But what I was really afraid ofwas being judged being judged
that I didn't know enough or Iwasn't good enough, and that's
how I was starting to get in myown way.
But once I start working with aperson like I, just I don't
know what happens that theperson gets what they need and I
get what they need, and we tendto like reciprocate.
You know that energy.
(15:44):
I'm able to take a person fromfeeling overwhelmed, having the
challenge going through themotions, feeling like the world
is crumbling and falling apartall around them, and I'm able to
guide them to a place whereit's like calm, grounded.
We get to the root of theproblem and I'm able to do it
like within an hour or likewithin 30 minutes of working
(16:04):
with someone.
It's like amazing how thatstuff happens.
But at first I was so afraidthat people were just going to
think, oh, what does she knowabout my business?
Or like, mis cosas, misproblemas.
They sometimes would think thatI have a perfect life.
I'm like, whew, people onlyknew.
And I think that's where Iwanted to use this platform too,
(16:25):
is to talk about the real shitthat everybody goes through day
to day.
And what I go through and whatI've been through and you know
in the past, like, for example,money wise, I'm still working
through those money wounds.
It was what, like 12 years ago,I declared bankruptcy and that
was something that you wouldn'texpect from accountant.
(16:45):
Right, like to declarebankruptcy and have a shitty
like credit and all that.
But fortunately my husband andI have been able to crawl
ourselves out of that, thosehabits, and we still kind of go
through the motions.
Right, we endure some debt andthen we have to kind of crawl
out of it again and it's allthese patterns.
But again it's like the way youthink, it's the mindset.
It's not necessarily like yougot to save and you have to like
(17:08):
avoid that.
Sometimes it's more of what isthe life you want to live.
But then again, like are youwilling to take a risk, and then
you know you're going to makeit up, you know you're going to
get better.
But sometimes it's all in yourhead Right, and that's the one
(17:32):
thing that I had, and I stillcontinue to work on, is trying
to overcome those fears that I'mgoing to be broke, that I'm
going to be homeless, that I'mgoing to lose everything.
Because guess what?
I've already lost a lot ofdifferent times in my life.
I've lost everything.
Everything is burned to theground, and I later realized
that that's something that youjust build stronger.
And to top it off, here's thecultura piece.
So many of us grew up being tolddon't act too much, no seas
presumida.
We were trained to stay humble,quiet, small.
(17:54):
So when we try to shine, theold programming kicks in.
So I want you to take a moment,think back.
What was the last opportunity?
You had something you wanted sobadly and you stopped yourself.
What excuse did you use?
Was it I don't have time, or Idon't have money, or I'll do it
(18:22):
later.
Write that shit down, becausewhen we see the pattern, we can
then work on breaking it.
Okay, so now that we've draggedla criticona out into the light,
let's talk healing, because youcannot shame or bully yourself
into transformation.
Healing starts with compassion,with reparenting the inner
(18:43):
child.
What does that mean?
It means you give yourself whatyou didn't get.
You become la mama, theprotector, the cheerleader you
always needed.
You stop saying I'm broken andyou start saying I'm healing,
I'm learning, I'm growing.
So cut yourself some grace.
(19:14):
So one thing that I starteddoing in the mornings and then
throughout the day was to reallypause and think and hold myself
, like especially if I wasfeeling that emotional drive.
You know the emotions, thecrying unconsolably for no
reason, and that's where I wouldthen learn.
Later did I learn?
It was called emotionalregulation, but that's where I
(19:35):
would like ground myself, andthat could be walking outside
like feeling the grass in myfeet, like bare feet, and that I
learned from my coach myinitial coach and then I started
diving into astrology and humandesign to understand myself a
little bit better.
And that's like foreignlanguage if you don't get it,
(19:57):
and I totally see where you'recoming from if you don't
understand either of thosethings, but it really helped me
dig into.
Oh, this is why I am the way Iam, for example, being a
generator.
I like to start shit, but Idon't like to finish it
sometimes, and that is most ofus, most of the people in
population, and that I callnormal.
(20:19):
So at least that was a commonthread right with other people.
And so I've learned also, too,that I need to follow my gut,
like I have a sacral authorityfrom a human design perspective,
and if my gut says uh-huh, likeit's a yes, then I have to
honor that.
Sometimes my brain's like no,that's just, that's crazy, why,
why are we gonna go down thisroute?
(20:39):
It's not logically making senseright now.
But if I am like in my gut, ifI'm no, like I don't know about
that, like I have a funnyfeeling, well, I should honor
that, or else I'm going to endup paying 10 times more.
The other thing, too, is likehow you talk to yourself.
(21:00):
Would you talk to a friend likethat, se lo dirías a tu amiga,
se lo dirías a un niño, likewould you say well, I know, like
my kids, sometimes I want tosay you know, but would you
really say that to someone likea stranger?
Would you treat them like that?
And maybe you will right, maybeyou do say those things in your
head and you would say them outloud and you have diarrhea of
(21:22):
the mouth.
That's fine, but you want totreat yourself with respect,
like you need to respect that.
But I respect that, right,that's like a golden rule
somewhere and that's where Iwould catch myself having these
negative self-talks, especiallyif I make a mistake at work
specifically.
Oh my God, I would cry.
(21:43):
I know my coworkers have seenme cry at my desk because I made
a big ass mistake and it usedto be $600.
Now it's like more in thethousands or, if not, millions,
and of course, that's not okay,right?
I mean, as life goes on, it'sjust bigger stakes, bigger
responsibilities that you haveflipping that script for myself
(22:11):
on.
Okay, all right, dora, wefucked up.
Right now, we screwed this up.
But how can we make it right?
How can we do thisprospectively and what was the
issue?
What happened?
So we can fix it?
Moving forward, and sometimesbeautiful things happen from
mistakes, like you end uplearning and investigating and
if you're like me, I doubt myworld as to what's credible,
what's not, and I tend to liketake everything apart and try to
(22:33):
build it together, like I'mgood at that.
So now it's like mistakeshappen because it's an
opportunity.
Take it as that.
Take it as an opportunity thatI'm going to get better, that
this is just another iterationand we're not going to do it
perfect.
That's what life is all about.
(22:54):
Like I know, ai is supposedlyperfection right, that they're
going to replace like a bunch ofstuff that we do, but making a
mistake proves you're human, youknow we have that connection,
connection, and so takeadvantage of that.
Take advantage of thoselearning opportunities.
And failure is the firstattempt in learning.
(23:14):
That be learning something new,learning something for the 10th
time, like you keep on at itright, you keep on practicing,
you keep on going through themotions because it's going to
get better and better, like thewine.
You know you got to keep itgoing.
So grab your journal and writedown three things your inner
critic says to you on repeat.
(23:35):
Now reframe each one of those.
For example, I'm not enough.
You can reframe that with.
I am rooted in my ancestors'strength.
I am more than enough.
I am rooted in my ancestors'strength.
I am more than enough.
Or I'm always messing things up.
You can reframe that with.
I'm learning.
Every mistake is wisdom for mypath, and I'll give you one more
(23:59):
.
I'll never get it right.
You can reframe that to.
I am already on my way.
My timing is perfect.
Now let's get into practical,porque we need tools, otherwise
that inner critic will keeprunning the show.
Here are some of my go-tosBreath work Just three deep
(24:27):
breaths to reset your nervoussystem when you're spiraling out
of control.
That, or you could do the boxmethod, which is four breaths in
, hold it for four, and thenfour breaths out, or four counts
, not breaths, and then, whenyou breathe out for four, you
hold it at the end there forfour, and then you repeat three
more times, or how many ever youfeel like you need.
(24:50):
The next that I like to do ismirror work.
So that is legit.
What it sounds like is going tothe mirror, looking at yourself
in your eyes and saying I loveyou, I trust you, you are enough
.
So I dare you to do that.
(25:10):
Well, not right now, if you'redriving in that I mean if you
are a stoplight or that, you cando it but go to the mirror and
say those things I love you, Itrust you, you are enough and
look at yourself in the eyes.
You know Ojo, ojo, like.
Look deep in those eyes becauseyou are beautiful in and out.
(25:34):
My next one is affirmations andlimpias.
So you can definitely writesome affirmations down and you
can cleanse your energy withherbs, the huevo or even a
shower with intention cleanseyour energy with herbs, the
huevo or even a shower withintention.
The last one is boundaries withyourself, and this one's a
(25:56):
little more like I don't want tosay high difficulty level, but
this one takes a little bit ofaccountability with yourself,
because you have to stop overcommitting, stop promising la
luna y las estrellas to everyoneelse in the world while giving
yourself las millajas, thecrumbs.
So my favorite thing to do toground myself and maybe this is
(26:17):
an extra bonus one is I pulloracle cards in the morning or I
journal and then I do a limpiaespecially with the palo santo
is my go-to in the morning.
I do three circles and I say Irelease all negative energy.
I release all negative energy.
I release all negative energy,and that's especially when I'm
(26:39):
feeling heavy.
So before I usually do thosethings, I feel the heaviness and
I feel chaotic at times, andI'll probably sometimes do it
during the day as well, if I'mfeeling like after a meeting,
I'm like, oh, that person hadlike heavy energy, or that was a
lot or I felt overwhelmed or Ifeel it coming on, and that's
(26:59):
where doing that piece ofrealignment will center you, to
then be able to think clear.
So when they say, when you'regoing through a problem or
you're doing something like veryintensive, you need to step
away, sometimes, take a break,well, I was notorious, and I'm
(27:21):
still notorious, for justworking through my lunch and
that.
But if you take those thatminute break or you know, take
that time to yourself, a fewminutes, you will notice a shift
and for some reason, theanswers will come to you.
So trust that.
So, in reflection of this,what's one tool you can commit
(27:42):
to this week?
I mean, I'm not saying forever,I'm just saying maybe seven
days, breath work, thejournaling, maybe a limpia,
write it down and actually do it.
This is how transformationhappens Little by little, brick
by brick.
We're building this journeytogether.
(28:02):
Mijita, aquí está la verdad.
The inner critic isn't truth,it's just a voice from
conditioning, it's oldprogramming and healing.
It's reclaiming your voice,your essence, your poder.
Every time you choose to speakkindly to yourself, you're
(28:24):
breaking cycles.
Every time you choose self-loveinstead of self-sabotage,
you're healing generationsforward and generations back.
So I used to really lose myself,and being the accountant at
work and I actually thought thatwas my identity, was what I did
(28:46):
at work, and little did I knowI was in so much more capacity
to do so much other thingsbesides work.
Right, I'm not every time Iwould introduce myself.
It would be I'm the accountantor I'm an accountant, and it
wasn't just that.
It's like I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I volunteer in
my community, I'm a presidentof the board at an organization.
(29:09):
I love All these various things.
I volunteer on the weekdays.
I'm a soccer coach.
I love to work with individualson their challenges.
I'm a life coach, I'm a healerAll these various things, all
these facets.
We are multifaceted people andI can multitask.
(29:29):
So when I lost myself in themode of like I'm an accountant,
instead of like showing up in mytrue self, I would actually
code switch at work.
I would walk in through thedoor and I would be like
business, dora, you know, like Ihave to keep my life outside.
I can't cry at work, I can't doanything at work.
Like I felt like I was robotic,like zombie mode.
I can't cry at work, I can't doanything at work.
I felt like I was robotic, likezombie mode, and that was such
(29:52):
a crappy era I felt like a blackhole somehow that I would just
go into there and I had noemotions, no feelings.
I would just go to work and Iwould be nice.
I mean, it wasn't like I wasjust completely robotic with no
emotions, but I would be nice.
It's just it wasn't the me,like my throat chakra or you
(30:14):
know, being able to verbalizesomething took me so long, like
people.
I remember when the president ofthe company told me I need to
be more assertive and I thoughtthat was, I need to be a bitch,
and that was totally not.
It got the wrong memo.
So I didn't really work withpeople.
I didn't ask for help.
I thought I had to be thechingona at work too and I had
to figure it all out on my own.
(30:35):
And you know the other thingtoo I would show up sick, like
this is way before COVID, but Iwould be like drugged up on
antibiotics and NyQuil andDayQuil and the works and
everything and sinuses orwhatever I've worked through ear
infections, migraines andeverything.
And then when people would come, oh, she missed work because
she had a migraine or oh, shewas sick.
(30:56):
I'm like oh, my parents taughtme you got to work because you
got to get that money.
You got to work hard.
And that's where I didn'trealize I was so overriding all
my boundaries Well, I didn'teven have boundaries back then
but I was not honoring myself.
I would work through like Ilegit because we live in Chicago
(31:17):
I would drive to the office inlike a severe snowstorm and my
daughter I would take mydaughter with me and she would
help out and people call mecrazy because it's like what are
you doing here?
I live like an hour away.
It would take me two hours inthe snow with rear wheel
transmission or whatever in myDodge Charger and it would take
(31:41):
me two hours to get to work andI couldn't even stop at the
stoplight because I would justget stuck in the snow.
That was how much of adedicated worker I was.
But I didn't realize I wasn'tbeing my authentic self and I
wasn't using my authentic voice.
I was actually being the goodgirl.
I was being the one that wasconditioned to be like oh yes,
whatever you say, the peoplepleaser the one that got shit
(32:03):
done and did it with a smile.
That's how, how I was, andinstead of now, where I actually
advocate for myself, for myteam and my teammates, I'm like,
wait, this doesn't make sense.
Can you explain it to me alittle more, or a little more
detail, or help me understandthis?
Because I'm not following andbefore it was kind of like, oh,
I would just take notes and it'slike, okay, cool, I'll have it
(32:24):
done, and I would actually do alot of manual work that was so
unnecessary, the busy work, andI don't know if it was because I
thought people needed me, orlike job security, that it was
all living in my head.
But yeah, no, documentationshould be real, like being able
to roll out processes and allthat.
Like now I understand why.
So you don't wanna be stuckdoing the grunt work, right, you
(32:48):
want to optimize things.
So that's where I finally wentfrom losing myself and everyone
else's needs and finallyreclaiming the Dora.
That was me, the real me.
Mijita, you are worthy.
If nobody has told you that,you are fucking worthy.
Worthy of peace, of love, ofjoy, of success.
Don't let that cabrona innercritic write your story.
(33:11):
You get to write it everysingle day when you wake up.
You get to dictate what's themood today.
What am I going to do?
Tú eres la autora de tu vida.
Thank you, if today's episodespoke to you, share with a
(33:51):
friend who needs to hear thisand if you're ready to go deeper
, to break these patterns andreclaim your esencia, join me
inside of my one-on-one coachingprogram.
The inner shift de adentro paraafuera.
This is where we go all in onhealing the wounds, clearing the
energy and embodying yourauthentic self.
You can learn more at www.
dorapraxedis.
com and it's right there on mywebsite and you can also get a
(34:15):
free um freebie the Raiceschecklist that I put together.
It covers everything from thelimpia astrology um birth charts
and a little bit more about myoffering the one-on-one coaching
.
Or you can reach out to me viaemail at dora D-O-R-A at
(34:38):
dorapraxedis.
com.
You can also follow me onInstagram @dpraxedis, and you
can also send me a DM with yourbiggest takeaway.
Let's keep that conversationgoing and I'm so curious to see
what your takeaways are fromtoday's episode.
And remember, embrace yourraices, reclaim your esencia.
(35:01):
Nos vemos pronto Con cariño.
Les mando un fuerte abrazo.
Que estén bien, and we'll seeyou next time.
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