July 17, 2025 • 33 mins
Have you ever sat in your car before work, fighting back tears, wondering whose life you're actually living? That moment of existential questioning—when you realize you've been dimming your light to fit others' expectations—can be both terrifying and transformative.
This episode dives into the heart of authentic self-connection, exploring why we lose touch with our true essence and how to find our way back. As a first-generation Latina navigating multiple worlds, I share my personal journey from corporate burnout to spiritual awakening, and the painful realization that I was living someone else's version of success.
We explore the telltale signs of disconnection: the exhaustion from pretending everything's fine, the chronic people-pleasing, the numbness, and that persistent feeling that something essential is missing from your life. Through guided visualization and practical exercises, you'll begin to reconnect with the light that's always been within you—just buried beneath layers of conditioning, fear, and wounds.
The path back to yourself isn't always smooth, especially when family expectations and cultural pressures tell you to stay small or conform. But as we explore the six powerful steps to authenticity—creating silence to hear your inner voice, questioning inherited beliefs, revisiting childhood joys, expressing your truth, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion—you'll discover that reconnection is not just possible but necessary for your wellbeing.
Remember: "Tú eres la luz. You are the light." Your authentic self hasn't disappeared. It's waiting for you to wipe away the dust and recognize the power that's always been yours. Join me on this journey of reclaiming your essence, and let's shine together.
Listen to Episode 5: Your No Is Sacred: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Email: dora@dorapraxedis.com
Follow Dora on Instagram @dpraxedis
Follow Ay Mijita on Instagram @dora_ay.mijita
Check out the website: www.dorapraxedis.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dora (00:08):
Ay Mijita.
Welcome back to another episodeof Ay Mijita Embracing your
Roots, reclaim your Esencia.
Soy Dora Alicia Praxedis,intuitive healer, life coach,
mujer, first gen latina, andyour hermana and descamino de
sanación.
Today's episodeio se llama youAre the Light, reconnecting with
your Authentic Self.
(00:28):
I know life can be overwhelmingbetween familia, trabajo,
comunidad, cultura, so manyvoices telling us como ser, como
hablar, que sentir,expectations to live by.
Pero hoy I want to remind youtu eres la luz, you are the
light.
Your authentic self has alwaysbeen shining beneath all those
(00:57):
layers over the years.
Así que ponte cómoda, grab yourcafecito, la irebelita, if you
want, and let's dive in deep.
And before we start, quiero queme digas when was the last time
you felt truly you Like,cutting all the bullshit and
really being in your own skin,goofing off, diciendo disparates
, like holding yourself raw withno filter?
(01:19):
When was the last time?
Think about that.
While we journey through today'sepisode, let's start with why
we lose connection to ourauthentic self.
Desde chiquitas aprendemos acomplacer a todos Parents,
(01:41):
teachers, la cultura, the church, society, you name it.
There's a lot of under the sun.
We learn to shapeshift, to dimour light so we don't shine too
bright to stay safe.
Y la neta.
Trauma also disconnects usChildhood wounds, heartbreak,
loss, racism and, for me, beingfirst gen navigating two worlds
(02:05):
all of that nos hace esconderparts of ourselves.
Mijita, espero que pienses enesto.
Where in your life are youwearing a mask?
Where are you dimming yourlight to fit in?
So, for me, when I moved out ofmy parents' house at 18, with a
one and a half year old, Ithought I needed to prove to my
(02:26):
parents that I could do it on myown and my boyfriend at the
time, and I had to pay all thebills and I wasn't making all
that much money.
I was working at Walmart,getting paid a whopping like
seven dollars, and that wasminimum wage at the time.
Dollars, and that was minimumwage at the time.
(02:48):
So, ponle la semana, in a week,I would make like a good 150 to
200 bucks working part-time.
My boyfriend at the time,though, had a really good job.
He would make a lot of overtime, and so I was playing like this
house game.
Right when I was playing, wifeworked my little part-time job,
went to school full-time,commuted downtown to DePaul two
hours in, two hours back, and itwas quite the challenge, and I
(03:11):
had to keep up the charade thateverything was fine.
This is just the sacrifice, thehustle, the grind, because one
day it would pay off dividends.
And I thought, okay, well, thisis what I'm destined to.
Right Is going to school, do mycareer in accounting, and I'll
be fine, I'll be set Well.
A few years later, that's whenmy boyfriend lost his job making
(03:33):
quite a bit of money.
We went to making nothing atall and we were both jobless.
At one point I remember lookingat each other like who's going
to pay the bills?
How are we going to do this?
And, of course, pride sets in,where I did not want to ask my
parents for money, and so wejust had to kind of figure it
(03:55):
out and I'll definitely be goinginto that story at a later
point in time because, let'sjust say, it didn't end up so
well and we still ended upgetting married and spending on
a wedding that we didn't havemoney for and we weren't in the
best, let's say, in ourrelationship.
But that's where, for me, justholding it together meant I just
have to pretend likeeverything's fine when
everything is really not fine.
(04:16):
Disregard all my emotions,override all the things that I'm
feeling, like anger, resentment, like why am I doing this?
And yeah, it's just why was Iliving a life that wasn't for me
?
Let's just say at that point intime, on the opposite end of
that, after going through allthat turmoil, let's say I was
(04:37):
able to finally graduate and geta steady job, and after many
years of moving up the corporaterank, that's when I was able to
become successful.
And not everybody is inagreement with your success.
Let's say, because then, in thefamily especially, you're
portrayed as not being humble,that you need to stay true to
your culture and remember yourroots.
(04:58):
And that's where there's amuyong.
I was taught to shut up up andjust do as I'm said instead of
following my heart.
And everything needs to be alogical decision.
When I grew up, that's when Istarted realizing that wasn't
always what was best for me ormy interest of my family and
(05:19):
when I say family, I meant myimmediate family.
My now husband and my kids andthat was a big heartbreak too is
breaking off the nucleus of thefamily with my dad, my mom and
my sisters.
That was something verydifficult for me to navigate,
and so I wanted to be part ofthe family right that I grew up
(05:41):
with.
But then again I was startingto become that mom, the wife,
the person, the breadwinner,eventually, after so much trial
and error.
So again, where in your lifeare you wearing a mask?
Where are you dimming yourlight to fit in?
Déjame compartirte algopersonal.
(06:04):
In my late 20s I was incorporate Buena posición, good
salary, todo bien on paper,right, pero inside I was dying.
I sit in my car, llorando,before work, thinking whose life
am I living?
Just the hustle and the grind,the going into work, punching in
, punching out, rushing to pickup my daughter, my son, from
(06:27):
daycare, all the motions, goinghome, making dinner, making sure
we're all good, the kids havethe homework, and then just the
loop-de-loop over and over theroutine every single day.
And I was showing up forsomeone else mi familia, my
jefes, my partner, mi pareja.
But I didn't even know what Iwanted anymore.
(06:49):
I seriously felt like a robotjust trying to survive, numb.
One day I whispered a prayer inmy car there has to be more to
life than this, like the hustleand the grind and the everyday.
And that moment cracked me open.
Poco a poquito, I started my ownhealing journey.
(07:10):
I started seeing a life coachthat was very spiritual.
I started listening tospiritual podcasts as well, and
that's where I got introduced toastrology and human design by
an astrologer and attended herclasses, and human design by an
astrologer and attended herclasses.
And then I got into Akashicrecord reading, which that is
definitely a different realmthat I didn't see myself many,
(07:32):
many years ago doing.
And all of this was connectingback to my soul.
That's why this work is soclose to my corazón, porque sé
lo que es sentirse perdidaFeeling so lost where you're
kind of spinning around like ina.
You know those carnival gameslike the teacup that you just
spin, spin, spin that's how Iwould feel.
(07:53):
So quiero preguntarte have youever felt like you're living
someone else's life, like youcheck all the boxes and you
think, oh, I'm on the right path, this is what I should be doing
, but something just feels off.
If you're brave enough to share, mandame un mensaje.
You never know who else mightfeel less alone hearing your
(08:18):
story.
It feels so sucky thinking thatyou're the only one when you're
really not.
And for me, I struggled a lotwith asking for help, and once I
started diving into these toolsand on this journey for my
self-discovery, I realizedthere's a lot more people out
there that feel the sense ofbeing stuck or feeling lost.
(08:39):
Okay, how can you tell if you'relost touch with your authentic
self?
Aquí te comparto some signs.
You're always people-pleasing,even when it hurts.
You.
Te sientes exhausted frompretending that everything's
okay, but at the end of the dayyou feel so spent and you feel
(08:59):
so tired, like energetically, nosabes ni que quieres anymore.
Like there's so much to choosefrom, so many options and
sometimes we get overwhelmedright With, like scrolling
through social or bombarded from, like all this capitalism,
right, so many things to buy,latest, greatest gadget, that
you're so overwhelmed thatsometimes you become numb, or
(09:21):
you just are in shock of so manydifferent decisions.
You have to make you feel numb,disconnected or simplemente,
meh, right.
That's when, also, we seeanxiety or restlessness out of
nowhere.
Like you're super anxious to gothrough social gatherings or at
(09:44):
night you can't sleep becauseyou have so many racing thoughts
that, for me, is definitely oneof the biggest ones that at
night I have all these ideas andthings and if I don't write it
down, like I usually have anotepad next to my nightstand
and I write stuff down all thetime, or else I lose those ideas
.
Because, if I know, if I go onmy phone and start writing a
note to myself, then I get likesidetracked with other things
(10:06):
such as oh, let me go check outthe news or let me check my
email real quick, and then I'mjust, you know, just time sucker
all over.
And the last one is you feelthis quiet ache inside, como que
algo te falta, like this voidthat you can't fill.
You feel the sense of justemptiness, and you don't do it
(10:28):
even with the passion.
It doesn't spark you anythinganymore.
That's when you need to reallyhone in on what am I feeling?
So does any of this soundfamiliar to you?
Take a moment, close your eyesand ask yourself where in my
life am I not being fully me?
Write it down.
(10:49):
The awareness is the first step,because that initial eye
opening is either a blessing ora curse, right?
Because darn if you do know anddarn if you don't know.
And awareness is key here,because if you don't know what
you don't know, right.
But once you start payingattention to the patterns, you
(11:12):
can then get ahead of it andplan accordingly, versus letting
all this other jazz outside ofyou really dictate your life,
your feelings, your thoughts,your emotions.
It's your body telling you, hey, we need to pay attention here.
Or your thoughts kind ofbringing this up.
(11:32):
For some reason I get thevision of this kid like at the
supermarket or at the store,like in the toy section,
throwing the tantrum you knowthat I want this toy.
Or at the store, like in thetoy section, throwing the
tantrum you know that I wantthis toy.
And that's kind of what yourbody, mind and spirit sometimes
do is they tug at you until youpay attention, until you sit
with it and really dissect whatis going on here.
(11:53):
So again, where in my life am Inot being fully?
Me Quiero que escuches estobien clarito.
I want you to hear this reallyclear, con amor, with love, that
tú eres la luz.
You are the light, yourauthentic self nunca se ha ido.
(12:16):
She's just been buried underexpectations, fear and wounds.
But underneath it all, you'restill wise, powerful, creative,
joyful, loving.
Think of a dusty espejo.
Your reflection neverdisappeared.
You just need to wipe away thelayers of the accumulated dust.
(12:39):
Now close your eyes, if you can, for a moment, and repeat after
me I am the light, I shine fromwithin and feel that down to
your core.
Feel that truth in your corazón, embrace it, embody it and
bring it to life.
(13:00):
Feel how that jolts throughyour body, that I am the light I
shine from within and we allcarry deep wounds that be from
our childhood, given fromancestors, but you are in the
power and control to change thattrajectory here and now and
(13:22):
going forward.
You never know who's watchingyou.
Some people celebrate you.
They want to be like you anddon't think of them as posers,
because they kind of are, butthey're not.
They just happen to look up toyou and there's some people that
think that you're their hero.
(13:43):
And the more we give ourselvespermission to do the things we
enjoy, the things that arecreative, even though they sound
super crazy, the more we givepermission to others to do the
same and follow in our footsteps, like, for example, doing this
podcast.
For me was the scariest thingever because I'm putting myself
(14:06):
out there.
At first I didn't like thesound of my voice, but then I
realized if I don't vocalize myown self and I don't trust
myself, my voice and I don'tstand up for what I believe in,
then who will?
It's having that courage tochange the things we do have
(14:29):
control over and letting go ofthe things that we don't and
surrendering those to divine, toGod, to spirit, to universe, to
act in our favor, becausesometimes we don't even know
what's more convenient for us.
Again, embody this.
(14:49):
I am the light I shine fromwithin.
Now vamos a hacer un ejerciciojuntos.
If you're safe and not driving,I invite you to close your eyes
, take a slow, deep breath inand exhale.
(15:09):
Visualiza a small glowing lightin the center of your chest.
Puede ser dorada, blanca, rosa,whatever feels right for you.
With every breath, feel thelight growing brighter.
Now gently ask yourself who amI beneath my roles and
(15:34):
responsibilities?
And again, take a deep breathin and exhale.
If you have thoughts that arecoming in, just remove them like
clouds and try to remain inthis state, present in the here
(15:59):
and now, and see what comes up.
(16:23):
What did I love to do as a niña?
Envision yourself as a littlegirl.
What did you enjoy doing?
What did you enjoy playing?
Was it running around?
Did you enjoy the recess atschool?
(16:48):
Or did you enjoy eating withyour friends?
Just observe.
Just observe and see what comesup now.
(17:11):
What brings me joy today?
Where am I hiding my true self?
(17:41):
What things am I doing thatmake me just hide who I truly am
, what part of me longs to comeout and shine.
(18:03):
Now, breathe into that light.
(18:24):
That is your little friend,your essence, and you're welcome
to stay here as long as youlike and when you're welcome to
stay here as long as you likeand when you're ready, open your
eyes, and I invite you toeither go back and replay this
and pause where you need to, andyou can also write down your
(18:50):
insights and journal about it.
You can also reach out on myInstagram or mandame, mensake
it's down in the show notes andI'd love to celebrate your light
with you.
So thank you for doing thisamazing work.
I know it's deep and it can godeep real quick, so celebrate
(19:10):
this moment that you permittedyourself to dig a little deeper.
Let's talk about how toreconnect with your authentic
self.
Aquí te comparto unos pasospoderosos.
(19:31):
Number one silence, the noise.
Toma tu tiempo en silencio.
Sit in that silence and let goof all the thoughts, meditate on
them, see what comes through.
You can also walk en lanaturaleza.
I love to take my doggy out fora walk and get reconnected with
Mother Earth.
(19:53):
The other thing I love to dositting in silence is to journal
and kind of automatic write onwhat comes through to me, all
the thoughts, all the thingsmaybe that are on my mind,
things that I have to do.
Give your inner voice thatspace to speak.
Give your inner voice thatspace to speak.
(20:17):
This is what I love to callsacred space, where you really
get in touch with your soul.
So ask yourself, what is mysoul trying to tell me?
Number two question your beliefs.
So ask yourself is this belieftruly mine or did someone else
give it to me?
This is where you could dig alittle more Like is that
(20:41):
something your parents taughtyou or that you learned
somewhere when you were young,and it might take you into
memory lane as to where thisthought or the circumstances
originally surfaced.
Did someone tell you in thepast that you were a certain way
?
Or maybe you were called dumbwhen you were little, but that
(21:03):
wasn't necessarily true.
Or do you remember a teacherque te regañó.
Just because you did somethingLike?
I remember I was so scared tospeak in public because I said a
swear word in front of my classin the second grade and
everyone laughed at me andeveryone was like ooh, and the
(21:25):
one thing I was trying toexpress was and I said this in
front of the classes my mom waspissed off, and pissed I guess I
didn't realize was a bad word.
So that caused me to shut downand not talk and speak in front
of others, and so reflect.
Whose voice do I hear in myhead when I doubt myself?
(21:47):
Number three revisit your joys.
Quién te cantaba?
As a child, like, what did youlove to do?
Was it painting, dancing,writing?
Bring it back.
Make sure your body feels thatfeeling again.
It is so powerful when weembody our emotions and have
that fun and that sense ofinnocence that we thought
(22:11):
everything was great, that wewere immortal, we loved life and
there was nothing that could gowrong.
And so it is.
Dancing, for one, I love somegood music and I can jam out,
and I love to put up the stereoand just dance and twirl around
(22:31):
and feel that in my body right,move my hips and shake it.
So that's one thing I love todo.
And so when did I feel mostalive as a child?
What thing caused you to bethat lively?
Let's say, maybe you were toldnot to do it because it didn't
(22:54):
seem right at the moment, or youwere being course corrected.
But bring it back and revisitit and try to re-parent yourself
in that way.
Number four express yourself.
That's where you can speak upand speak your truth, even if
your voice shakes, even if youfeel a knot in your throat.
What you have to say is sopowerful and it's you.
(23:18):
Honor that, honor what iscoming up, what wants to come
through you.
Someone else might need to hearthat message, and it could be
loving words or it could bewords that hurt, but if you
speak it out loud to yourself,you get it out of your system,
and so it's not suppressedanymore.
So in your journal.
(23:39):
If you can finish this sentencein your journal, if I wasn't
afraid, I would Now for me, Iwould speak my mind and I would
speak it with no filter.
And so that is something Iwould probably put in my journal
and not say to anyone else.
And keep it to myself and don'thold back.
(24:02):
Put it on there.
You can rip it up afterwards ifyou don't feel comfortable
leaving it in your journal, ormy favorite is to burn it in a
safe spot, because then thatmeans I'm letting that shit go.
I'm not holding on to itanymore Now.
Number five is set boundaries.
So boundaries son actos de amor, and I have an episode on this
(24:26):
that you can go back and listento and I'll link it in the show
notes below.
But they protect your light,they protect your space and,
again, your boundaries are likea sacred house.
I like to use that analogybecause you can invite people to
the fence and come like theneighbor.
You can talk over the fenceright, or you can invite people
(24:47):
to your house for a party, oryou can invite them to dinner,
and that's where you have a moreintimate conversation and they
get to know you better.
So reflect on where do I needto say no to honor myself?
For me, this one kind of hitsbecause I actually just had a
(25:09):
dream last night about it iswork.
I love to work and I am aworkaholic and I take after my
dad on that and I have a hardtime saying no to things at work
and stopping work and I have tobe very intentional about my
time and my energy and my mindand my focus, because sometimes
I get lost in my work and Iforget to eat and I forget to
(25:31):
tend to the family and thethings at home, and my husband's
really good at reminding meabout that, but that's where I
have to tend to the family andthe things at home, and my
husband's really good atreminding me about that.
But that's where I have to setmy boundaries of this is the
time I have to work from, youknow, 830 in the morning to 435
o'clock at the latest.
I got to be out that doorbecause I have to go to the gym
or I have to do this, and I haveto purposely schedule things in
order to drop everything atwork so I can leave.
(25:53):
So that's one area where I setmy boundaries.
Now, the last one here is numbersix be kind to yourself.
Now I'm taking a deep breath onthis one, because healing it's
not linear and sometimes wetreat ourselves worse than we
(26:18):
would treat anyone else in thisworld, like would you talk to
your friend the way you talk toyourself?
Like, for example, when I makea mistake in the past and
sometimes I go there, but Ireally catch myself really soon,
really quick, when I make amistake I would tell myself that
(26:38):
I'm a you know, pendeja, or I'ma dumbass, or you know kind of
put myself down and I would feelreally, really, really guilty
and I know my coworkers wouldsee me go through that spiral.
And so now I catch myself doingthose things because I would
never say anything like that toanyone not even my kids, my
husband or like much less acoworker or someone else Because
(27:03):
that feels so crummy.
I understand that I would feelguilty and shitty for the
mistake, but the best thing todo there is just own it, take
responsibility for your actionsand try to remediate.
And take note on what things doI have to do in order for that
not to happen again?
And it might happen again, butin a different way, and that's
(27:25):
where you just keep learningwrong and that's something I
thought all my life was.
Being a failure is such a badthing, but it's actually
something that has taught me somany different lessons in my
life that has made me the womanI am today.
So healing again is not linearand you have to give yourself
(27:50):
some grace.
You are a chingona and you needto step it up and know that you
need to treat yourself betterthan anyone in this world,
because you are invaluable.
You are your biggest asset inthis world and what you have in
your heart and in your mind,just share it with the world.
So the mantra here is I givemyself permission to grow slowly
(28:15):
.
Now I want you to choose one ofthese steps and commit to this
week.
You can send me an email or DMme on Cuál Vas a Practicar.
I'm curious to see which onekind of panned out for you this
week.
Quiero compartir una question.
(28:35):
I get a lot from my clients andpeople.
I know, and this one wassomething I struggled with many,
many years, and it's Dora.
I'm afraid to show my true selfbecause my familia might judge
me.
I love them, pero siento quethey won't understand.
Nay mijita, I feel you this isso real and showing up as your
(28:58):
authentic self can feel veryscary, especially in familias
where there's a lot ofexpectativas and me coming from
one of them making this story inmy head that you know I have to
do as my father says, as myfather does.
You know, that is somethingthat I fought with for the
(29:19):
longest time.
I would get that nudo en lagarganta right, that knot in
your throat, every time that Iwould try to talk to my parents
I thought I couldn't be heard ormy sisters, even like they were
younger.
They didn't really understandwhat I was going through living
at home and then, as an adult,like there's decisions I take
that people don't understand.
(29:40):
They don't see why or where I'mgoing with this right, my
decision, and I have the vision.
I know what I want in my lifeand that's the thing you have to
honor is what is your result orthe goal that you're trying to
shoot for, and people don'tnecessarily have to understand
it.
You can go through life makingyour own decisions, because it's
(30:03):
your life.
You need to be the one thatlives your life to the fullest,
embodying and again, takingresponsibility for your actions.
Right, if you take a wrong turnhere or there.
And again taking responsibilityfor your actions right, if you
take a wrong turn here or there,it's not necessarily the wrong
turn, it's just a detour for nowand you'll get back on.
(30:23):
You'll get back on the highwayor to the GPS.
It's like where you put theaddress in and you, you know,
just go a wrong way or something, and you discover something new
, and that's where you have tobe open to receiving.
You were meant to go down thatroad, you were meant to go
through that experience.
So it's like you discoverthings on your own and that's
(30:48):
part of this adventure of life,is going through that journey,
and those are the things thatshape you, and I strongly
believe God, divine, universe,spirit shapes you in mysterious
ways.
But at the end of the day,remember you deserve to be seen
(31:09):
and loved for who you really are.
So I dare you to think aboutthis question.
What's one part of yourselfyou've been hiding out of fear?
And really sit with that?
You could send me your story,cariño, and let's close with
(31:37):
unas afirmaciones poderosas.
So repeat conmigo, or justlisten y recibe.
Soy la luz.
I shine from within.
Mi autenticidad es sagrada.
My authenticity is sacred.
I trust my inner wisdom.
(32:00):
Merezco vivir mi verdad.
I deserve to live my truth.
I am free to be me Now.
Breathe it in mijita.
You are powerful.
(32:23):
Gracias, gracias, gracias porcompartir ese espacio conmigo.
Thank you for being here todayand sharing the space.
Remember, you are the light.
(32:45):
Nunca lo olvides.
If this episode resonó contigo,compártelo con tus amigas o
compadres.
Leave me a review on Spotify orApple Podcasts.
It truly helps us reach morepeople that need this message.
Or come say hi on Instagram atDeepRaxedis, or visit my website
, doraraxediscom.
(33:06):
And if you're ready to godeeper into sanación, check out
my one-on-one coaching Untilnext time.
Keep shining, hermoso sol.
Te mando un abrazo bien fuerte,chao.
Ay Mijita.
Welcome back to another episodeof Ay Mijita Embracing your
Roots, reclaim your Esencia.
Soy Dora Alicia Praxedis,intuitive healer, life coach,
mujer, first gen latina, andyour hermana and descamino de
sanación.
Today's episodeio se llama youAre the Light, reconnecting with
your Authentic Self.
(00:28):
I know life can be overwhelmingbetween familia, trabajo,
comunidad, cultura, so manyvoices telling us como ser, como
hablar, que sentir,expectations to live by.
Pero hoy I want to remind youtu eres la luz, you are the
light.
Your authentic self has alwaysbeen shining beneath all those
(00:57):
layers over the years.
Así que ponte cómoda, grab yourcafecito, la irebelita, if you
want, and let's dive in deep.
And before we start, quiero queme digas when was the last time
you felt truly you Like,cutting all the bullshit and
really being in your own skin,goofing off, diciendo disparates
, like holding yourself raw withno filter?
(01:19):
When was the last time?
Think about that.
While we journey through today'sepisode, let's start with why
we lose connection to ourauthentic self.
Desde chiquitas aprendemos acomplacer a todos Parents,
(01:41):
teachers, la cultura, the church, society, you name it.
There's a lot of under the sun.
We learn to shapeshift, to dimour light so we don't shine too
bright to stay safe.
Y la neta.
Trauma also disconnects usChildhood wounds, heartbreak,
loss, racism and, for me, beingfirst gen navigating two worlds
(02:05):
all of that nos hace esconderparts of ourselves.
Mijita, espero que pienses enesto.
Where in your life are youwearing a mask?
Where are you dimming yourlight to fit in?
So, for me, when I moved out ofmy parents' house at 18, with a
one and a half year old, Ithought I needed to prove to my
(02:26):
parents that I could do it on myown and my boyfriend at the
time, and I had to pay all thebills and I wasn't making all
that much money.
I was working at Walmart,getting paid a whopping like
seven dollars, and that wasminimum wage at the time.
Dollars, and that was minimumwage at the time.
(02:48):
So, ponle la semana, in a week,I would make like a good 150 to
200 bucks working part-time.
My boyfriend at the time,though, had a really good job.
He would make a lot of overtime, and so I was playing like this
house game.
Right when I was playing, wifeworked my little part-time job,
went to school full-time,commuted downtown to DePaul two
hours in, two hours back, and itwas quite the challenge, and I
(03:11):
had to keep up the charade thateverything was fine.
This is just the sacrifice, thehustle, the grind, because one
day it would pay off dividends.
And I thought, okay, well, thisis what I'm destined to.
Right Is going to school, do mycareer in accounting, and I'll
be fine, I'll be set Well.
A few years later, that's whenmy boyfriend lost his job making
(03:33):
quite a bit of money.
We went to making nothing atall and we were both jobless.
At one point I remember lookingat each other like who's going
to pay the bills?
How are we going to do this?
And, of course, pride sets in,where I did not want to ask my
parents for money, and so wejust had to kind of figure it
(03:55):
out and I'll definitely be goinginto that story at a later
point in time because, let'sjust say, it didn't end up so
well and we still ended upgetting married and spending on
a wedding that we didn't havemoney for and we weren't in the
best, let's say, in ourrelationship.
But that's where, for me, justholding it together meant I just
have to pretend likeeverything's fine when
everything is really not fine.
(04:16):
Disregard all my emotions,override all the things that I'm
feeling, like anger, resentment, like why am I doing this?
And yeah, it's just why was Iliving a life that wasn't for me
?
Let's just say at that point intime, on the opposite end of
that, after going through allthat turmoil, let's say I was
(04:37):
able to finally graduate and geta steady job, and after many
years of moving up the corporaterank, that's when I was able to
become successful.
And not everybody is inagreement with your success.
Let's say, because then, in thefamily especially, you're
portrayed as not being humble,that you need to stay true to
your culture and remember yourroots.
(04:58):
And that's where there's amuyong.
I was taught to shut up up andjust do as I'm said instead of
following my heart.
And everything needs to be alogical decision.
When I grew up, that's when Istarted realizing that wasn't
always what was best for me ormy interest of my family and
(05:19):
when I say family, I meant myimmediate family.
My now husband and my kids andthat was a big heartbreak too is
breaking off the nucleus of thefamily with my dad, my mom and
my sisters.
That was something verydifficult for me to navigate,
and so I wanted to be part ofthe family right that I grew up
(05:41):
with.
But then again I was startingto become that mom, the wife,
the person, the breadwinner,eventually, after so much trial
and error.
So again, where in your lifeare you wearing a mask?
Where are you dimming yourlight to fit in?
Déjame compartirte algopersonal.
(06:04):
In my late 20s I was incorporate Buena posición, good
salary, todo bien on paper,right, pero inside I was dying.
I sit in my car, llorando,before work, thinking whose life
am I living?
Just the hustle and the grind,the going into work, punching in
, punching out, rushing to pickup my daughter, my son, from
(06:27):
daycare, all the motions, goinghome, making dinner, making sure
we're all good, the kids havethe homework, and then just the
loop-de-loop over and over theroutine every single day.
And I was showing up forsomeone else mi familia, my
jefes, my partner, mi pareja.
But I didn't even know what Iwanted anymore.
(06:49):
I seriously felt like a robotjust trying to survive, numb.
One day I whispered a prayer inmy car there has to be more to
life than this, like the hustleand the grind and the everyday.
And that moment cracked me open.
Poco a poquito, I started my ownhealing journey.
(07:10):
I started seeing a life coachthat was very spiritual.
I started listening tospiritual podcasts as well, and
that's where I got introduced toastrology and human design by
an astrologer and attended herclasses, and human design by an
astrologer and attended herclasses.
And then I got into Akashicrecord reading, which that is
definitely a different realmthat I didn't see myself many,
(07:32):
many years ago doing.
And all of this was connectingback to my soul.
That's why this work is soclose to my corazón, porque sé
lo que es sentirse perdidaFeeling so lost where you're
kind of spinning around like ina.
You know those carnival gameslike the teacup that you just
spin, spin, spin that's how Iwould feel.
(07:53):
So quiero preguntarte have youever felt like you're living
someone else's life, like youcheck all the boxes and you
think, oh, I'm on the right path, this is what I should be doing
, but something just feels off.
If you're brave enough to share, mandame un mensaje.
You never know who else mightfeel less alone hearing your
(08:18):
story.
It feels so sucky thinking thatyou're the only one when you're
really not.
And for me, I struggled a lotwith asking for help, and once I
started diving into these toolsand on this journey for my
self-discovery, I realizedthere's a lot more people out
there that feel the sense ofbeing stuck or feeling lost.
(08:39):
Okay, how can you tell if you'relost touch with your authentic
self?
Aquí te comparto some signs.
You're always people-pleasing,even when it hurts.
You.
Te sientes exhausted frompretending that everything's
okay, but at the end of the dayyou feel so spent and you feel
(08:59):
so tired, like energetically, nosabes ni que quieres anymore.
Like there's so much to choosefrom, so many options and
sometimes we get overwhelmedright With, like scrolling
through social or bombarded from, like all this capitalism,
right, so many things to buy,latest, greatest gadget, that
you're so overwhelmed thatsometimes you become numb, or
(09:21):
you just are in shock of so manydifferent decisions.
You have to make you feel numb,disconnected or simplemente,
meh, right.
That's when, also, we seeanxiety or restlessness out of
nowhere.
Like you're super anxious to gothrough social gatherings or at
(09:44):
night you can't sleep becauseyou have so many racing thoughts
that, for me, is definitely oneof the biggest ones that at
night I have all these ideas andthings and if I don't write it
down, like I usually have anotepad next to my nightstand
and I write stuff down all thetime, or else I lose those ideas
.
Because, if I know, if I go onmy phone and start writing a
note to myself, then I get likesidetracked with other things
(10:06):
such as oh, let me go check outthe news or let me check my
email real quick, and then I'mjust, you know, just time sucker
all over.
And the last one is you feelthis quiet ache inside, como que
algo te falta, like this voidthat you can't fill.
You feel the sense of justemptiness, and you don't do it
(10:28):
even with the passion.
It doesn't spark you anythinganymore.
That's when you need to reallyhone in on what am I feeling?
So does any of this soundfamiliar to you?
Take a moment, close your eyesand ask yourself where in my
life am I not being fully me?
Write it down.
(10:49):
The awareness is the first step,because that initial eye
opening is either a blessing ora curse, right?
Because darn if you do know anddarn if you don't know.
And awareness is key here,because if you don't know what
you don't know, right.
But once you start payingattention to the patterns, you
(11:12):
can then get ahead of it andplan accordingly, versus letting
all this other jazz outside ofyou really dictate your life,
your feelings, your thoughts,your emotions.
It's your body telling you, hey, we need to pay attention here.
Or your thoughts kind ofbringing this up.
(11:32):
For some reason I get thevision of this kid like at the
supermarket or at the store,like in the toy section,
throwing the tantrum you knowthat I want this toy.
Or at the store, like in thetoy section, throwing the
tantrum you know that I wantthis toy.
And that's kind of what yourbody, mind and spirit sometimes
do is they tug at you until youpay attention, until you sit
with it and really dissect whatis going on here.
(11:53):
So again, where in my life am Inot being fully?
Me Quiero que escuches estobien clarito.
I want you to hear this reallyclear, con amor, with love, that
tú eres la luz.
You are the light, yourauthentic self nunca se ha ido.
(12:16):
She's just been buried underexpectations, fear and wounds.
But underneath it all, you'restill wise, powerful, creative,
joyful, loving.
Think of a dusty espejo.
Your reflection neverdisappeared.
You just need to wipe away thelayers of the accumulated dust.
(12:39):
Now close your eyes, if you can, for a moment, and repeat after
me I am the light, I shine fromwithin and feel that down to
your core.
Feel that truth in your corazón, embrace it, embody it and
bring it to life.
(13:00):
Feel how that jolts throughyour body, that I am the light I
shine from within and we allcarry deep wounds that be from
our childhood, given fromancestors, but you are in the
power and control to change thattrajectory here and now and
(13:22):
going forward.
You never know who's watchingyou.
Some people celebrate you.
They want to be like you anddon't think of them as posers,
because they kind of are, butthey're not.
They just happen to look up toyou and there's some people that
think that you're their hero.
(13:43):
And the more we give ourselvespermission to do the things we
enjoy, the things that arecreative, even though they sound
super crazy, the more we givepermission to others to do the
same and follow in our footsteps, like, for example, doing this
podcast.
For me was the scariest thingever because I'm putting myself
(14:06):
out there.
At first I didn't like thesound of my voice, but then I
realized if I don't vocalize myown self and I don't trust
myself, my voice and I don'tstand up for what I believe in,
then who will?
It's having that courage tochange the things we do have
(14:29):
control over and letting go ofthe things that we don't and
surrendering those to divine, toGod, to spirit, to universe, to
act in our favor, becausesometimes we don't even know
what's more convenient for us.
Again, embody this.
(14:49):
I am the light I shine fromwithin.
Now vamos a hacer un ejerciciojuntos.
If you're safe and not driving,I invite you to close your eyes
, take a slow, deep breath inand exhale.
(15:09):
Visualiza a small glowing lightin the center of your chest.
Puede ser dorada, blanca, rosa,whatever feels right for you.
With every breath, feel thelight growing brighter.
Now gently ask yourself who amI beneath my roles and
(15:34):
responsibilities?
And again, take a deep breathin and exhale.
If you have thoughts that arecoming in, just remove them like
clouds and try to remain inthis state, present in the here
(15:59):
and now, and see what comes up.
(16:23):
What did I love to do as a niña?
Envision yourself as a littlegirl.
What did you enjoy doing?
What did you enjoy playing?
Was it running around?
Did you enjoy the recess atschool?
(16:48):
Or did you enjoy eating withyour friends?
Just observe.
Just observe and see what comesup now.
(17:11):
What brings me joy today?
Where am I hiding my true self?
(17:41):
What things am I doing thatmake me just hide who I truly am
, what part of me longs to comeout and shine.
(18:03):
Now, breathe into that light.
(18:24):
That is your little friend,your essence, and you're welcome
to stay here as long as youlike and when you're welcome to
stay here as long as you likeand when you're ready, open your
eyes, and I invite you toeither go back and replay this
and pause where you need to, andyou can also write down your
(18:50):
insights and journal about it.
You can also reach out on myInstagram or mandame, mensake
it's down in the show notes andI'd love to celebrate your light
with you.
So thank you for doing thisamazing work.
I know it's deep and it can godeep real quick, so celebrate
(19:10):
this moment that you permittedyourself to dig a little deeper.
Let's talk about how toreconnect with your authentic
self.
Aquí te comparto unos pasospoderosos.
(19:31):
Number one silence, the noise.
Toma tu tiempo en silencio.
Sit in that silence and let goof all the thoughts, meditate on
them, see what comes through.
You can also walk en lanaturaleza.
I love to take my doggy out fora walk and get reconnected with
Mother Earth.
(19:53):
The other thing I love to dositting in silence is to journal
and kind of automatic write onwhat comes through to me, all
the thoughts, all the thingsmaybe that are on my mind,
things that I have to do.
Give your inner voice thatspace to speak.
Give your inner voice thatspace to speak.
(20:17):
This is what I love to callsacred space, where you really
get in touch with your soul.
So ask yourself, what is mysoul trying to tell me?
Number two question your beliefs.
So ask yourself is this belieftruly mine or did someone else
give it to me?
This is where you could dig alittle more Like is that
(20:41):
something your parents taughtyou or that you learned
somewhere when you were young,and it might take you into
memory lane as to where thisthought or the circumstances
originally surfaced.
Did someone tell you in thepast that you were a certain way
?
Or maybe you were called dumbwhen you were little, but that
(21:03):
wasn't necessarily true.
Or do you remember a teacherque te regañó.
Just because you did somethingLike?
I remember I was so scared tospeak in public because I said a
swear word in front of my classin the second grade and
everyone laughed at me andeveryone was like ooh, and the
(21:25):
one thing I was trying toexpress was and I said this in
front of the classes my mom waspissed off, and pissed I guess I
didn't realize was a bad word.
So that caused me to shut downand not talk and speak in front
of others, and so reflect.
Whose voice do I hear in myhead when I doubt myself?
(21:47):
Number three revisit your joys.
Quién te cantaba?
As a child, like, what did youlove to do?
Was it painting, dancing,writing?
Bring it back.
Make sure your body feels thatfeeling again.
It is so powerful when weembody our emotions and have
that fun and that sense ofinnocence that we thought
(22:11):
everything was great, that wewere immortal, we loved life and
there was nothing that could gowrong.
And so it is.
Dancing, for one, I love somegood music and I can jam out,
and I love to put up the stereoand just dance and twirl around
(22:31):
and feel that in my body right,move my hips and shake it.
So that's one thing I love todo.
And so when did I feel mostalive as a child?
What thing caused you to bethat lively?
Let's say, maybe you were toldnot to do it because it didn't
(22:54):
seem right at the moment, or youwere being course corrected.
But bring it back and revisitit and try to re-parent yourself
in that way.
Number four express yourself.
That's where you can speak upand speak your truth, even if
your voice shakes, even if youfeel a knot in your throat.
What you have to say is sopowerful and it's you.
(23:18):
Honor that, honor what iscoming up, what wants to come
through you.
Someone else might need to hearthat message, and it could be
loving words or it could bewords that hurt, but if you
speak it out loud to yourself,you get it out of your system,
and so it's not suppressedanymore.
So in your journal.
(23:39):
If you can finish this sentencein your journal, if I wasn't
afraid, I would Now for me, Iwould speak my mind and I would
speak it with no filter.
And so that is something Iwould probably put in my journal
and not say to anyone else.
And keep it to myself and don'thold back.
(24:02):
Put it on there.
You can rip it up afterwards ifyou don't feel comfortable
leaving it in your journal, ormy favorite is to burn it in a
safe spot, because then thatmeans I'm letting that shit go.
I'm not holding on to itanymore Now.
Number five is set boundaries.
So boundaries son actos de amor, and I have an episode on this
(24:26):
that you can go back and listento and I'll link it in the show
notes below.
But they protect your light,they protect your space and,
again, your boundaries are likea sacred house.
I like to use that analogybecause you can invite people to
the fence and come like theneighbor.
You can talk over the fenceright, or you can invite people
(24:47):
to your house for a party, oryou can invite them to dinner,
and that's where you have a moreintimate conversation and they
get to know you better.
So reflect on where do I needto say no to honor myself?
For me, this one kind of hitsbecause I actually just had a
(25:09):
dream last night about it iswork.
I love to work and I am aworkaholic and I take after my
dad on that and I have a hardtime saying no to things at work
and stopping work and I have tobe very intentional about my
time and my energy and my mindand my focus, because sometimes
I get lost in my work and Iforget to eat and I forget to
(25:31):
tend to the family and thethings at home, and my husband's
really good at reminding meabout that, but that's where I
have to tend to the family andthe things at home, and my
husband's really good atreminding me about that.
But that's where I have to setmy boundaries of this is the
time I have to work from, youknow, 830 in the morning to 435
o'clock at the latest.
I got to be out that doorbecause I have to go to the gym
or I have to do this, and I haveto purposely schedule things in
order to drop everything atwork so I can leave.
(25:53):
So that's one area where I setmy boundaries.
Now, the last one here is numbersix be kind to yourself.
Now I'm taking a deep breath onthis one, because healing it's
not linear and sometimes wetreat ourselves worse than we
(26:18):
would treat anyone else in thisworld, like would you talk to
your friend the way you talk toyourself?
Like, for example, when I makea mistake in the past and
sometimes I go there, but Ireally catch myself really soon,
really quick, when I make amistake I would tell myself that
(26:38):
I'm a you know, pendeja, or I'ma dumbass, or you know kind of
put myself down and I would feelreally, really, really guilty
and I know my coworkers wouldsee me go through that spiral.
And so now I catch myself doingthose things because I would
never say anything like that toanyone not even my kids, my
husband or like much less acoworker or someone else Because
(27:03):
that feels so crummy.
I understand that I would feelguilty and shitty for the
mistake, but the best thing todo there is just own it, take
responsibility for your actionsand try to remediate.
And take note on what things doI have to do in order for that
not to happen again?
And it might happen again, butin a different way, and that's
(27:25):
where you just keep learningwrong and that's something I
thought all my life was.
Being a failure is such a badthing, but it's actually
something that has taught me somany different lessons in my
life that has made me the womanI am today.
So healing again is not linearand you have to give yourself
(27:50):
some grace.
You are a chingona and you needto step it up and know that you
need to treat yourself betterthan anyone in this world,
because you are invaluable.
You are your biggest asset inthis world and what you have in
your heart and in your mind,just share it with the world.
So the mantra here is I givemyself permission to grow slowly
(28:15):
.
Now I want you to choose one ofthese steps and commit to this
week.
You can send me an email or DMme on Cuál Vas a Practicar.
I'm curious to see which onekind of panned out for you this
week.
Quiero compartir una question.
(28:35):
I get a lot from my clients andpeople.
I know, and this one wassomething I struggled with many,
many years, and it's Dora.
I'm afraid to show my true selfbecause my familia might judge
me.
I love them, pero siento quethey won't understand.
Nay mijita, I feel you this isso real and showing up as your
(28:58):
authentic self can feel veryscary, especially in familias
where there's a lot ofexpectativas and me coming from
one of them making this story inmy head that you know I have to
do as my father says, as myfather does.
You know, that is somethingthat I fought with for the
(29:19):
longest time.
I would get that nudo en lagarganta right, that knot in
your throat, every time that Iwould try to talk to my parents
I thought I couldn't be heard ormy sisters, even like they were
younger.
They didn't really understandwhat I was going through living
at home and then, as an adult,like there's decisions I take
that people don't understand.
(29:40):
They don't see why or where I'mgoing with this right, my
decision, and I have the vision.
I know what I want in my lifeand that's the thing you have to
honor is what is your result orthe goal that you're trying to
shoot for, and people don'tnecessarily have to understand
it.
You can go through life makingyour own decisions, because it's
(30:03):
your life.
You need to be the one thatlives your life to the fullest,
embodying and again, takingresponsibility for your actions.
Right, if you take a wrong turnhere or there.
And again taking responsibilityfor your actions right, if you
take a wrong turn here or there,it's not necessarily the wrong
turn, it's just a detour for nowand you'll get back on.
(30:23):
You'll get back on the highwayor to the GPS.
It's like where you put theaddress in and you, you know,
just go a wrong way or something, and you discover something new
, and that's where you have tobe open to receiving.
You were meant to go down thatroad, you were meant to go
through that experience.
So it's like you discoverthings on your own and that's
(30:48):
part of this adventure of life,is going through that journey,
and those are the things thatshape you, and I strongly
believe God, divine, universe,spirit shapes you in mysterious
ways.
But at the end of the day,remember you deserve to be seen
(31:09):
and loved for who you really are.
So I dare you to think aboutthis question.
What's one part of yourselfyou've been hiding out of fear?
And really sit with that?
You could send me your story,cariño, and let's close with
(31:37):
unas afirmaciones poderosas.
So repeat conmigo, or justlisten y recibe.
Soy la luz.
I shine from within.
Mi autenticidad es sagrada.
My authenticity is sacred.
I trust my inner wisdom.
(32:00):
Merezco vivir mi verdad.
I deserve to live my truth.
I am free to be me Now.
Breathe it in mijita.
You are powerful.
(32:23):
Gracias, gracias, gracias porcompartir ese espacio conmigo.
Thank you for being here todayand sharing the space.
Remember, you are the light.
(32:45):
Nunca lo olvides.
If this episode resonó contigo,compártelo con tus amigas o
compadres.
Leave me a review on Spotify orApple Podcasts.
It truly helps us reach morepeople that need this message.
Or come say hi on Instagram atDeepRaxedis, or visit my website
, doraraxediscom.
(33:06):
And if you're ready to godeeper into sanación, check out
my one-on-one coaching Untilnext time.
Keep shining, hermoso sol.
Te mando un abrazo bien fuerte,chao.
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