April 15, 2024 • 41 mins
Ever stumbled upon the conundrum of whether to exchange passwords with your partner, or felt the weight of 'good lies' resting on your conscience? We tackle these intricate nuances of modern relationships, offering personal insights and diverse viewpoints. You'll hear us debate the balance between trust and privacy, as we dissect the complex dynamics of sharing our digital keys. Listener contributions add depth to the conversation, prompting us to reflect on the baggage we carry and the space we treasure within our most intimate connections.
Now, let's get real about the qualities that make relationships last beyond the initial spark. I share my experiences, including the challenge of nurturing love while navigating a demanding career in the military, revealing how life's pressures can shape our romantic decisions. We also consider the evolving landscape of commitment, where the dance of honesty and protection takes center stage. With candid discussions on what it takes to forge deep connections, this episode promises to leave you with a fresh perspective on finding and fostering love that's focused on growth and enjoyment, rather than just checking off a list.
Rounding off with a celebration of camaraderie, we shine the spotlight on our friend Sam's inspiring fitness journey and the supportive network within our community. Our conversation is a testament to the strength we derive from each other's successes and struggles, as we exchange advice and laughs in equal measure. Join us for an episode that's not just about relationships but also about the joy of companionship, the thrill of personal growth, and the beauty of embracing life's 'crazy' moments with those who stand by our sides.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
All right, all right, all right.
Good morning listeners.
It's April 15th, tax Day, andthis is B2Z Podcast.
How you doing, brandon?
I'm doing good.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I got to get those taxes off.
You know I'm last minute.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You haven't done yours yet.
No, I haven't done it.
I'll pay a little fee this year.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I got you, I got you.
Yeah, I hate taxes.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, I think that's generally the case with
everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah, I get bullied all year and then bullied one
more time here.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
pay this we're doing live session uh for today's
podcast, so thank you everyonefor joining in.
It's a little early in themorning it is, and today we have
a controversial topic.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Go ahead, zach.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yes, we're going to talk about relationships today,
and this was a big one.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
People were getting pretty excited when I posted the
teaser.
I like relationship talk.
Everybody's gone through it.
Everybody has a differentexperience, so it's nice to get
into relationships.
Maybe I'll learn somethingbecause I struggle for you comes
(01:42):
from Joanna.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
She says sharing passwords for social media or
phone.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Is that?
Is that a good thing to do in arelationship or a bad thing?
I think it's both.
If you're, if your relationshipcan handle that, then do it.
If you have a jealouscounterpart or partner, then I
wouldn't do it.
Me and mine.
We don't share passwords.
That shit pisses me off alittle bit.
I feel like I should have theability to go in your phone, not
(02:24):
to snoop, but just access to,like your wallet or something
like that.
You know, yeah, I don't thinkit's required, but I definitely
think it's a way that you couldshow somebody trust, um, or if
you're not hiding something andyou want them to feel
comfortable yeah unlock yourphone.
(02:46):
What about you?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm usually pretty open about my password to my
phone.
It's not anything complicated,it's just I won't give my actual
password, but I'm pretty openabout it.
If you want to go through myphone and go through that spider
(03:11):
web, then go for it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I have a password.
I don't guard it heavily, youknow.
I put it so, if I ever die,that they'll be able to unlock
it, so it's not too bad for arelationship.
The phone is never a good thing,like it's always a problem,
(03:33):
whether it's somebody who'soverstepping, sending a message
you know and then I don't know.
I think something should beprivate and then I don't know.
I think something should beprivate.
Just because you're in arelationship doesn't mean you
have to have everything of thathuman.
If you trust them, you trustthem.
It shouldn't matter whether youget access to their phone or
(03:55):
not.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Agree.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Out there?
Yeah, definitely, let us knowwhat you think.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Let's take a look.
Crazy Flip says it's a can ofworms.
Yeah, I definitely agree withthat.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, Bringing your phone into your relationship is
with old baggage and oldpictures and stuff.
That's a grenade, a little timebomb just waiting to happen.
You got to get rid of thatstuff or hide it very well.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, to me it's like spring cleaning you clean your
garage, you clean up the house,the closets.
You got to go through yourphone every once in a while.
Delete those old messages,delete those old pictures if
they don't mean anything to youanymore, which they shouldn't
right.
Yeah, yeah, I don't, man.
(04:56):
That's all I'm telling you,that's just.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would love access just to have that peace of mind.
But I would also like to keep apeace of mind.
You know what I mean Privateand it's just like or something
that isn't something that,something that's not always
tripped about.
I hate having a phone.
I think it's crazy how peopleget upset over phones, what
(05:22):
somebody said, what somebodysent you.
You know, as a tattoo artist,we get things sometimes that are
just off.
You know, titty pictures orpeople in the middle of the
night, you know, drunk and just.
You know venting.
They feel like tattooers aregood people for that.
(05:43):
So my phone sometimes lookslike shit.
You know venting.
They feel like tattooers aregood people for that.
So my phone sometimes lookslike shit, you know.
And then, yeah, I get a lot ofpictures of clients and stuff
like that.
So if you were to look throughmy phone and you had bad
intentions on your brain, youmight, you could be able to get
pissed off every single time youlook.
(06:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Perception.
I'm going to circle back towhat you first said, which was,
if you're in a position whereyou're trying to rebuild that
relationship, maybe it is betterto have open phones, open
(06:29):
connection, at that point.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, open dialogue is always best for any new
relationship.
You know you don't want tobring baggage from your last
relationship into the next one,because it does define certain
areas.
You make people pay for themistakes of your last partner.
You know, say you were cheatedon over and over and you kept
(06:51):
forgiving them.
The next guy is going to payfor that.
You know as well as his phone.
They're going to be all up inhis phone.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So I don't know.
This is my buddy, sebastian.
If you don't have enough trustto trust her phone, are you
supposed to trust her with yourrelationship?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
oh, that's a good one yeah, I think it goes both ways
right, like so yes, you shouldbe able to just trust her and
whatever she has going on in herphone is her business.
But that relies, that's, on theperson you know.
It sounds like he can trust hisyou know kudos to you, but a
(07:35):
lot of these people out herecan't be trusted.
You know, is Sebastian married.
Do you know this guy?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I know, I know him through the working dogs and
he's giving us as a podcast, alot of great feedback.
Okay, uh, to me outside lookingin and I've done, uh even a
work at his house, supersupportive um relationship that
he's in um so good.
Good Kudos to you, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But thank you, sebastian, that's coming from a
good place, it sounds like.
Yeah, trust is everything in arelationship.
Without that, you're not goingto go to many places, or you
might go to a lot of places, butyou're just not going to enjoy
each other.
You know, having thattransparency in your
relationship is key.
Having that transparency inyour relationship is key, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Want to jump to the next one.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, go to the next one.
Let's see what else we got.
So I'm going to go back to thatbig one.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Okay, I'm going to go to some red or green flags to
look for.
Okay red or green flags andthat came from Victoria.
She goes to Cal Poly, pomonaComputer engineer major.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Okay, red or green flags.
Red flag for me.
This is going to be petty, butthe first one is dirty shoes.
Have you walked around withsome dusty ass shoes?
Dirty shoes.
Oh my God, if we're in aromantic situation and the first
(09:12):
time I meet you you have somedusty ass shoes on, I'm thinking
that's game changer.
Yeah, it's kind of like havingdirty nails for me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, it's like, oh, look atthat there.
You know, and nothing againsty'all.
This is mine, you know.
But if you show up and you gotsome Crocs and some dirty-ass
socks on or some Yeezy slideswith some dirty-ass socks on,
(09:37):
that's a wrap.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
You're not fucking with that, that's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know, that's a little
superficial, but I don't give afuck, I don't care about that,
but I just well.
What's another red flag?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
so I'll, I'll match you, but a green flag.
Okay, I have off that as, yeah,dirty shoes, that is bad.
But I do want like to me, agreen flag is if that person
feels comfortable.
Okay, not over the topcomfortable, um, but it does
(10:17):
feel comfortable.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
But respectful of you and that is it like when
they're in your house, whenthey're around you, just PDA.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yes, all the above, yeah, yeah, but you got to put
the time in, so maybe not rightoff the bat, but someone who you
feel is already putting thateffort right off the bat.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That's a green flag.
That's a green flag.
Yeah, to make you feel isalready putting that effort
right off the bat.
That's a green flag.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
That's a green flag to make you feel comfortable,
because I I like making peoplefeel comfortable right off the
bat okay, yeah, that could goboth ways for me.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You know, you put the , you put your feet up on my
once again we're talking about.
That's too comfortable yeahyeah, you put your feet up on my
leather couch.
We have a.
What the fuck are you doing?
Put your.
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Feet on the dash.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Manners, goddammit, you know that's a big one for me
Feet on the dash.
I'm out of feet on the dash.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I mean, it's usually a set of dirty feet too.
Yeah, you know, like, what'sanother red flag for you?
There's another place for them,and they're not on the dash.
I don't mind them out thewindow, I'll find that odd.
But not on the dash.
(11:33):
Relationships, guys, they'recrazy.
Red flags and green flags.
That's what we're going through.
And now what's a red flag forme?
Um, if you don't drive ambition, ambition is a huge red flag.
If you don't have any ambition,or you're not striving for
anything other than just to workand babies, you know, then
(12:02):
that's a problem.
I want you to have a little bitof dream in you.
You know, a little glimmer inyour eye, yeah, so if you don't
have ambition, that's a red flag, and if you have ambition,
that's a green flag.
No, how many seriousrelationships have you been in?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
At least half a dozen .
Okay, yeah, so I consider myserious relationships were the
ones I could put up with if theycould put up with for about a
year, year plus with if theycould put up with for about a
year, year plus.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Uh, so I got about six real good, serious
relationships in there.
Yeah, what do you think aboutthose people that uh jump in
from one relationship to thenext, serial monogamous or
serial daters or whateverthey're called, those people
that just continue to date.
They go from one to the next.
You ever dealt with anythinglike that?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Or have you ever been that?
I can't say I've ever been,that I've been told I'm too
picky.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, people have told me thatDoes a rebound work For
everybody out there listeningdoes a rebound person work?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Does a rebound person work?
And I'll even ask you this does, going back to the same person,
ever work in your mind?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
or your experience.
Yeah, I mean, I look atrelationships as things that you
choose, you want to put timeinto, just like a painting um,
it's a long, it's your long-termproject.
Um, I date with the idea ofbeing the last person I date you
(14:02):
know like, and I'm not big onmarriage.
So it is about commitment and astrong connection that keeps me
, not just a ring or religion.
No, I want to know that myperson is.
It's mine, you know, and that'snot in a possessive sense but,
(14:23):
like, in an energy way, like shewants to be around me.
I want to be around herRelationships.
I've always struggled with thembecause I'm very honest in them
.
You know, and sometimes yougotta lie.
You know what's a good lie in arelationship.
(14:45):
What's a good lie in arelationship?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
give me that well, so I felt very similar to you.
I feel like I'm very honest.
In general, I'll spit outsideways shit and sometimes it's
not what people want to hear orwhat they were expecting.
So I got that's similar withyou.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But what is a?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
lie to tell in a relationship A good lie.
She doesn't mean anything to me.
Oh shit, that was deep, that'sa good one and that's happened
to me.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Um, and I told that life and how did that affect the
future of that relationship?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
it usually eats me up before it eats them up.
So that lie eats me up, yeah,and I have to do something about
it.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I mean shoot.
There's several reasons.
Like they ask me oh, do I lookgood?
Yes, you look amazing today.
Does this taste good?
Mm-hmm, my mom gets on me allthe time about that.
She's like you got to learn howto lie better, you know?
Just like give a peace of minda little so people can have
(16:04):
their joy.
I'm not like that, you know.
I guess I'd be a hard person tobe with because I'm not like
that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So the food doesn't taste good.
You tell food tastes like shit.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I mean, is it worth it?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
What to lie or to not lie For the reaction.
Oh, so you, okay, in yourexperience, yeah, have you held
back on saying the lie?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
if I feel like it's gonna hurt the information's
gonna destroy you and like sendyou in a whirlwind, then I'll
probably I'll, I'll go around itand I'm going to tell you
because I tried.
I have a hard time with flying,but I'm going to roll it out
later, like maybe that couldhave used a little spice, or you
(16:57):
know.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Cleaned up a little bit.
Huh, cleaned it up a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, cleaned up a littlebit.
Huh, cleaned it up a little bityeah.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah yeah.
This is difficult too, becauseyou know I'm in a relationship,
so you know my lady's going tobe watching this and just
picking it apart.
So there's your shout out.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
But I think that goes both ways.
We're putting ourselves outthere from our experience, so I
actually learned what I thinkwe're doing in therapy today.
So this is podcasting.
We're getting our voices outthere, we're getting our
(17:38):
experiences out there.
We're hoping people learn fromour experiences and enjoy them.
But we're like a group supportout there.
We're hoping people learn fromour experiences and enjoy them,
but we're like a group supportsession.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, especially the feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I've been getting it's oh man.
I really enjoy your perspectiveon that.
So we're like, we're causing aThink tank yeah, think tank,
yeah, we're just kicking thinktank.
Yeah, yeah, kicking it around.
So I learned that therapy,sport, so I thought that was
(18:12):
really cool.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, so do you want to go into that?
That last, let's do it.
Yeah, just because we don'twant to hold back.
No, this is organic, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, so this came from and maybe some of you might
not know this about me.
I worked at a Lego store forabout four years while I first
started going to school.
This is my manager there,Dolores.
She's put up the question whysociety looks at marriage as
(18:47):
being the end game or the goalin relationships why does
society look at that?
And it's a caveat is this tiedinto religion?
Does religion make this, makemarriage bigger than what it is?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, I think it demeans it a little bit.
I think the more paperwork andgovernment sanctions they put on
it and permits you need, theworse off it is.
It's not about love anymore.
People use it as advancement.
You know, because everything isintertwined with our finances.
(19:29):
The end, all of religion, man.
You know I'm not a big enoughChristian to ask answer that
question.
I was asking some people theother day and everybody has a
different perspective.
I think it's intertwined withinreligion, just because it's a
(19:49):
proper way to go about aninteraction, a lifelong
interaction, with somebody andtreat them to their best.
And God seals everything foreverybody.
(20:10):
You know, whatever religionyou're getting married in, I
guess he seals it up for you.
I don't know, when I get married, it's not going to be because
God or my Christian roots, it'sjust because I'm devoting my
energy to this person.
You know, that's why I'll getmarried.
If there's religious benefitsto it, cool.
You know, it's like one ofthose coupons you get for bakers
(20:33):
Del Taco, you know all of thatstuff.
Yeah, if there's benefits to it, then sure I'll take them all.
All religious benefits, I'm allfor it.
But that's not why I would getmarried.
I want to get married for, somy kids can see me walk down the
aisle.
Change your mom's last name,but that's like political,
(20:58):
religious stuff.
You know I don't necessarilyneed that.
Yeah, and I don't necessarilyneed that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't want her to feel likeshe can't run away either.
You know I'm not here to chainyou up through paperwork or
anything like that.
Anytime you want to go, you cango, Because if you truly want
(21:20):
somebody happy, you know youjust want what's best for them.
That's a crazy statement, butit's true.
Yeah, it is true.
What else we got over there?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
So another, another piece of this, and I feel like
this is kind of interesting too.
I feel like this is kind ofinteresting too.
How do you feel about peoplethat pry into each other's
(21:59):
relationships and ask them whyaren't they?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
married, or why they did get married, or why their
parents got divorced or whatnot.
Yeah, mind your business.
That's none of your goddamnbusiness.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And how can you be, how do you say to people, how
can you be in a committedrelationship without putting
that title on it, like this ismy wife, this is my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well, if a title means something to you, then put
a title on it.
You know, some people don'tneed that to be in love.
Some people don't want theirlove defined.
You know, oh, this is marriage.
What if it's not?
What if it's not?
You know what if the Egyptianshad it right?
(22:41):
What if the Buddhists had itright?
You know who's to say.
But if it makes you feel goodand that's part of your ceremony
, you know, go for it, right.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And do you think so?
Let's tiptoe into somethingthat we're not entirely
experienced.
We're both heterosexual, we'reboth heterosexual.
We're putting out there Do youthink hetero, not married
couples are less common now thansame sex partners, or do you
(23:24):
think that's easily received?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I think the fact that we have so many types of
relationships is different.
I only know one, you know.
I only know one.
So no, I know a few others.
I haven't participated in any,but I've always been a
traditional if you can call thattraditional with my
(23:51):
relationships.
I don't think.
Yes, I think the balance iskind of evening out.
I still feel like heterosexualcouples are the majority,
because that is what we chose tocome from.
You know what I mean.
I believe this new swing withsexuality and relationship type
(24:19):
is it's needed.
It's needed because you know,for people who find it hard to
be in a relationship withoutcheating.
All right, they got a name foryou now and a specific group for
your ass.
So now you don't have to wreakhavoc on Beth over here, who's
in the Christianity dating pool,and just want something normal.
(24:42):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
So more things are becoming the norm.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah, it opens up, it becoming the norm.
Yeah, it opens up, it's moreaccepting.
People are becoming moreaccepting with the datings
because of the big revealing ofthey, them, their, the religious
spectrum, all of these things.
You know, life is evolving andthat's one of the things that's
(25:07):
kind of evolved heavily issexuality and the way that
people are approaching theirrelationships.
I know kings back in the dayused to have more than one wife
they used to sleep with.
They had known servants whowere concubines and whatnot, and
(25:32):
I see a lot of people kind ofgo back to those old ways.
But it's also influenced alittle bit by religion, you know
, and history.
So I don't think it's wrong andI don't think it's right.
I do think that as a man it ishard to tame that edge.
You know what I mean, which iswhy you get all these men who
(25:55):
cheat and I think it's cool thatall these youngsters get an
opportunity to.
You know, live it in adifferent fashion, because there
was no such thing as an openrelationship when we were
growing up.
If you was in an openrelationship, you was just
fucking other people, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, you didn't talk about it, no.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
No, you know it wasn't.
Oh yeah, you know we get hurtand if you did it it was
considered taboo or you had aswinger overtone.
But now, yeah, they're out heredoing it and I don't.
I don't like to share.
Okay, I don't like to share, soyou can't have none of mine.
(26:37):
You feel me?
I'm not sharing my food, mylady, my car.
You feel me I'm none of that.
My phone, you can't, can't makeno calls on my stuff.
Yeah, there's just some thingsthat I'm not sharing, and my
girl is one of them, me being agermaphobe Bro, are you kidding
me?
Yeah, if you, are you kiddingme?
(26:57):
Absolutely not.
These dudes be dirty out here.
You know I'm going to use mylady up when they send her home.
Absolutely not.
And to the open relationshipfolk out there, kudos to y'all
for having the mindset to beable to get through that type of
stuff, because, man, I don'tpossess it and it just shows me
(27:19):
that we are so different in thisworld because, I don't know, I
have all kinds of like.
It would be more acceptable ifit was a girl.
Do you feel me Like a dude Icouldn't be with, but it'd be
okay if it was a girl, becauseI'm selfish in my own ways.
You know what I mean, like I'mall fucked up.
So you know that's the problemwith these things, you're being
(27:41):
honest, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'sa good thing being honest.
But then I wouldn't want twoproblems, compounded problems.
I don't want that.
You know I like having oneproblem, one thing to fix.
You got all those ladies, man,and not to say that.
But y'all ladies be on ourhelmets, man.
(28:02):
We feel like we got to fix shitin relationships.
You know, when you're're angry,when you're upset, we feel like
we have to.
Uh, our ladies should be happy.
Men take that as a um, as anegative.
If we see our lady sad ormoping around the house and
stuff like that, we that is adirect correlation to a little
(28:23):
bit of our manhood, because howwe like not race, but how we
care for you is considered.
A lot of our worth is put onthat.
It's on that scale.
Stop moping around your man ifhe's dope.
Stop moping around this dude.
(28:44):
You'll break a good man downwith a bad attitude trying to
get what you want.
Or Stop moping around this dude.
You'll break a good man downwith a bad attitude Trying to
get what you want or just beingan asshole.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah, what I can add to that is just support.
I've had relationships where Ididn't have a lot of support and
I've had relationships where Idid have support, and that could
be the difference maker as well.
Yeah, Good support system likewe did hit a topic we dance
around the topic and I thinkthis is going to be our tease
into the next topic.
Our next one-on-one session isgoing to be probably religion
(29:20):
based, so shoot some questionsto the dm, stay tuned, as always
.
Yeah, but I think because we'retiptoeing around some cool shit
and I want to jump more into it.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh, can I say one thing, absolutely Okay, one
thing.
When we decided to talk aboutrelationships, I wanted to
challenge everybody to thinkabout a different type of
relationship, not just theintimate one with your
significant other, but therelationship that you have with
(29:58):
life, with your kids, with yourjob.
Which ones are heavy, whichones are heavy, which ones are
light.
You know, I feel like littleadjustments make a huge
difference in relationships andyou know, say, if you're single
and you like the flashy dudewho's a a hard person to be with
(30:21):
, like it's probably not goingto work out in your favor.
A small adjustment could, youknow, lead to happiness in a
different form.
I was talking to one of myclients about that the other day
and how I was talking aboutblack women specifically, like
how I would never attracted aton of black women, and they
(30:44):
were like, oh yeah, you know.
And I was like well, for meit's because they like a certain
type and I don't fit thedemographic type of flashy.
You feel me Like, you know, andwe were talking about a
specific type of girl who likesa specific type of man and she
was complaining oh, you know,these relationships, da-da-da,
(31:05):
and I'm like, whoa, like you,you dating shit.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you're not really datingmen, you know, but we're not out
there doing that type of stuff.
We're at home, you know, we'reat Home Depot.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
We're at AutoZone, we're doingthings, we're uh.
(31:25):
So if you're looking for aquality man man, it is not the
dude at the club shining infront of you, that's a weekend
warrior.
You know, like he puts on thatbest outfit.
It probably took two weeks tobuy those Balenciagas that he
had to save up for.
Catch me, catch a man like mein some vans chilling at the
(31:48):
park doing some yard work.
You know, I think switchingwhat you want and what you need
is huge in relationships.
So if you guys are single outthere, it's not about what you
want, it's about what you needand that's huge for you, because
(32:08):
you over there chasing thewrong thing.
You know it's like the dogchasing the semi tire like, okay
, buddy, one day you're gonnaget it and your ass is gonna get
level.
yeah, you're not gonna like it,and you know how many baby
daddies should we count up?
You know what I mean?
We know there's a lot of peopleout there that have gone to the
(32:28):
shiny dude rather than areliable dude, and I am a
reliable dude, I'm not a shinydude.
You could put a dude next to mewho's you know?
He's a peacock, you know, butI'm a fucking falcon.
You feel me so like, yeah, wedon't have the same shine and
stuff like that, but youdefinitely want to be on this
(32:51):
side.
So fucking change your mindseton relationships and when you're
approaching these things.
Yes, that motherfucker probablylooks good, you know.
Same for men, same for men.
Yes, she probably looks good.
But, brad, is that what youwant to sign up for?
What kind of human being?
You know, because there is alittle bit of truth to you know.
(33:15):
You put so much time into yourbody.
It is a little bit ofnarcissism, you know what I mean
.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
And that doesn't mean , don't do it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You know, be the best you can.
You know, look the best you canfor whatever that is, but do it
in a healthy manner.
Do it in a healthy manner.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yeah, and that brought two things to mind for
me.
That's kind of a younger versusgetting older mindset too.
You learn that, and you alsobrought something to the top for
me.
You also brought something tothe top for me.
When I was in the military.
I had a horrible toxicrelationship with the military.
(33:52):
I was a machine on that end.
I could get everything I neededcompleted, but all my other
relationships struggled in oneway or another.
Right, so that was a badrelationship with my workplace.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, right, so that was a bad relationship with my
workplace.
Mm-hmm, yeah, I meanrelationships.
They're just like getting a newcar.
It's all exciting in thebeginning.
Hey, look at this, like it doesthis, it does that, and then it
starts to feel normal.
So that's why you want to focuson the human being rather than
(34:28):
just the look of them, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
So you ready for a roundup?
Yeah, I got two quotes again.
Bring them on.
One's by the author CharlesDickens.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
The pain of parting is nothing compared to the joy
of meeting again.
So I feel like that goes alongwith.
Uh, maybe your relationshipdidn't work out the first time
around.
Maybe you can work out a secondtime.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
You believe that?
Yeah, yeah, you, yeah, yeah.
I'm in a relationship like that.
I'm in one like that yeah yeah,you, yeah, I'm in a
relationship like that.
I'm in one like that, where,but it takes two yes, oh yeah, I
can believe.
I can believe, till the cows gohome.
But you know I still be fuckingup, creating issues and all
(35:28):
kind of shit.
You know there's twocounterparts, but on my side,
yeah, ten toes down.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
And then I got a deep one by the philosopher Epicurus
you don't develop courage bybeing happy in your
relationships every day.
You develop it by survivingdifficult times and challenging
adversity, so I feel like thatfit in well to a good portion of
(36:00):
our show as well, mm hmm, somany people give up on
relationships?
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Mm, hmm, so many people give up on relationships.
They search for greener grass.
They put all that energy andthat knowledge from going
through the trauma into a newrelationship and I don't know.
(36:31):
Sometimes it's better to juststick with what you know rather
than go out there and try overand over and over.
I feel like there's this bigstigma about a person checking
all the boxes.
Like, if you're doing the workand you're egoless and stuff
(36:53):
like that, you're not going toput that on your spouse Like, oh
, you got to check all the boxesand they're like nah, you're a
piece of shit if you're tryingto make somebody do that.
Can you put that in the rounduptoo?
You're a piece of shit if youtry and make them do that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
So, yeah, be open.
Be open, guys.
Relationships are supposed tobe fun.
We get in them and we treatthem like contracts and it's
just like you do this.
I fucking hate you.
That's a deal breaker.
Then we go in and we put allthis negativity.
(37:31):
He better have this.
She better have that.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Some of the funnest relationships I had were
borderline red flags, orangeflags, but it was fun for the
time being.
Yeah, is that fun now and everyday?
Yeah, fuck, no, I enjoy alittle crazy.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I do.
I enjoy a little bit of crazy.
That shit is fun.
It was when I was younger and Ihad the energy for it.
Oh man, not now, but definitelynot now.
Definitely not now.
It's a different type of crazy.
Now that's out here, you knowshe might bring a dude home.
Talking about this.
Is us like?
(38:10):
No, that's not us, you know,that's you on that note.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
You want to shout out our next guest, who we got?
Oh, my buddy Spike, yes yes,yes, yes, oh.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
We got one of my buddies coming up and for the
next interview.
He's amazing.
He's a shop owner out ofMarietta.
He owns Captain Tattoo.
He's been tattooing around 22years.
This is going to be a supersolid interview interview.
(38:43):
Nothing against the lastinterview, it's just a different
type.
You know, if you're expectingtattoo tips, you're probably not
going to get it, but we willget a lot of good stories and
Spike is an interestingcharacter that has been pivotal
in my years of tattooing.
He's been there since day one.
He fixed my machines and I'vekept that contact and I'm gonna
(39:03):
bring him to you guys so you cancheck his personality out.
He's cool, captain tattoo and,uh, marietta.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
All right, spike more at spike more on a big shout
out to spike and and shout outto michael uh welsh too, for
being our first guest.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
First guest.
Hopefully you guys like that.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, I'd also like to shout out we did have
technical issues.
We had technical issues.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
So if you were listening, to that last episode
and it sounded pretty shoddy.
I apologize.
We thought it'd be cool for ournew guest to open up a brand
new mic.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
And that mic was damaged.
We got the silver Fox out, yeah, so we got a brand new mic.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, we're classy.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah, we got the arm, so we're getting good.
Okay, I'd like to shout out mybuddy.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
He keeps giving me support, so I'm going to shout
him out Rob, rob, he was mygunner, oh old gunny Rob.
Yeah, in Afghanistan and he'sworking his way up the military
ladder.
I'm proud of him, okay, I'mreally proud of him.
He's going to be, he's going toprobably do his 20 years,
retire and all that.
(40:14):
Yeah, totally, shout out what Idid and I'm super proud of him
for that.
Oh, shout out, rob, appreciateyour service.
Brother, they're not the same,but I worked with them both at
Lego One.
Sam, he's been giving us a tonof support.
He's probably going to be thenext Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He's hitting the gym like crazy, oh damn.
And my buddy Tomas.
(40:40):
I tell him I go.
It's like you get tiered advice.
It goes from Brandon to me, tohim and then back around the
circle again, because I getadvice from him as well.
Yeah, so a big shout out to him, Shout out to all our
supporters.
This is fun.
This is the end of our show.
I hope you guys have a greatday.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening, bye.
All right, all right, all right.
Good morning listeners.
It's April 15th, tax Day, andthis is B2Z Podcast.
How you doing, brandon?
I'm doing good.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I got to get those taxes off.
You know I'm last minute.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You haven't done yours yet.
No, I haven't done it.
I'll pay a little fee this year.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I got you, I got you.
Yeah, I hate taxes.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, I think that's generally the case with
everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah, I get bullied all year and then bullied one
more time here.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
pay this we're doing live session uh for today's
podcast, so thank you everyonefor joining in.
It's a little early in themorning it is, and today we have
a controversial topic.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Go ahead, zach.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yes, we're going to talk about relationships today,
and this was a big one.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
People were getting pretty excited when I posted the
teaser.
I like relationship talk.
Everybody's gone through it.
Everybody has a differentexperience, so it's nice to get
into relationships.
Maybe I'll learn somethingbecause I struggle for you comes
(01:42):
from Joanna.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
She says sharing passwords for social media or
phone.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Is that?
Is that a good thing to do in arelationship or a bad thing?
I think it's both.
If you're, if your relationshipcan handle that, then do it.
If you have a jealouscounterpart or partner, then I
wouldn't do it.
Me and mine.
We don't share passwords.
That shit pisses me off alittle bit.
I feel like I should have theability to go in your phone, not
(02:24):
to snoop, but just access to,like your wallet or something
like that.
You know, yeah, I don't thinkit's required, but I definitely
think it's a way that you couldshow somebody trust, um, or if
you're not hiding something andyou want them to feel
comfortable yeah unlock yourphone.
(02:46):
What about you?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm usually pretty open about my password to my
phone.
It's not anything complicated,it's just I won't give my actual
password, but I'm pretty openabout it.
If you want to go through myphone and go through that spider
(03:11):
web, then go for it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I have a password.
I don't guard it heavily, youknow.
I put it so, if I ever die,that they'll be able to unlock
it, so it's not too bad for arelationship.
The phone is never a good thing,like it's always a problem,
(03:33):
whether it's somebody who'soverstepping, sending a message
you know and then I don't know.
I think something should beprivate and then I don't know.
I think something should beprivate.
Just because you're in arelationship doesn't mean you
have to have everything of thathuman.
If you trust them, you trustthem.
It shouldn't matter whether youget access to their phone or
(03:55):
not.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Agree.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Out there?
Yeah, definitely, let us knowwhat you think.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Let's take a look.
Crazy Flip says it's a can ofworms.
Yeah, I definitely agree withthat.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, Bringing your phone into your relationship is
with old baggage and oldpictures and stuff.
That's a grenade, a little timebomb just waiting to happen.
You got to get rid of thatstuff or hide it very well.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, to me it's like spring cleaning you clean your
garage, you clean up the house,the closets.
You got to go through yourphone every once in a while.
Delete those old messages,delete those old pictures if
they don't mean anything to youanymore, which they shouldn't
right.
Yeah, yeah, I don't, man.
(04:56):
That's all I'm telling you,that's just.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would love access just to have that peace of mind.
But I would also like to keep apeace of mind.
You know what I mean Privateand it's just like or something
that isn't something that,something that's not always
tripped about.
I hate having a phone.
I think it's crazy how peopleget upset over phones, what
(05:22):
somebody said, what somebodysent you.
You know, as a tattoo artist,we get things sometimes that are
just off.
You know, titty pictures orpeople in the middle of the
night, you know, drunk and just.
You know venting.
They feel like tattooers aregood people for that.
(05:43):
So my phone sometimes lookslike shit.
You know venting.
They feel like tattooers aregood people for that.
So my phone sometimes lookslike shit, you know.
And then, yeah, I get a lot ofpictures of clients and stuff
like that.
So if you were to look throughmy phone and you had bad
intentions on your brain, youmight, you could be able to get
pissed off every single time youlook.
(06:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Perception.
I'm going to circle back towhat you first said, which was,
if you're in a position whereyou're trying to rebuild that
relationship, maybe it is betterto have open phones, open
(06:29):
connection, at that point.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, open dialogue is always best for any new
relationship.
You know you don't want tobring baggage from your last
relationship into the next one,because it does define certain
areas.
You make people pay for themistakes of your last partner.
You know, say you were cheatedon over and over and you kept
(06:51):
forgiving them.
The next guy is going to payfor that.
You know as well as his phone.
They're going to be all up inhis phone.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So I don't know.
This is my buddy, sebastian.
If you don't have enough trustto trust her phone, are you
supposed to trust her with yourrelationship?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
oh, that's a good one yeah, I think it goes both ways
right, like so yes, you shouldbe able to just trust her and
whatever she has going on in herphone is her business.
But that relies, that's, on theperson you know.
It sounds like he can trust hisyou know kudos to you, but a
(07:35):
lot of these people out herecan't be trusted.
You know, is Sebastian married.
Do you know this guy?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I know, I know him through the working dogs and
he's giving us as a podcast, alot of great feedback.
Okay, uh, to me outside lookingin and I've done, uh even a
work at his house, supersupportive um relationship that
he's in um so good.
Good Kudos to you, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
But thank you, sebastian, that's coming from a
good place, it sounds like.
Yeah, trust is everything in arelationship.
Without that, you're not goingto go to many places, or you
might go to a lot of places, butyou're just not going to enjoy
each other.
You know, having thattransparency in your
relationship is key.
Having that transparency inyour relationship is key, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Want to jump to the next one.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, go to the next one.
Let's see what else we got.
So I'm going to go back to thatbig one.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Okay, I'm going to go to some red or green flags to
look for.
Okay red or green flags andthat came from Victoria.
She goes to Cal Poly, pomonaComputer engineer major.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Okay, red or green flags.
Red flag for me.
This is going to be petty, butthe first one is dirty shoes.
Have you walked around withsome dusty ass shoes?
Dirty shoes.
Oh my God, if we're in aromantic situation and the first
(09:12):
time I meet you you have somedusty ass shoes on, I'm thinking
that's game changer.
Yeah, it's kind of like havingdirty nails for me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, it's like, oh, look atthat there.
You know, and nothing againsty'all.
This is mine, you know.
But if you show up and you gotsome Crocs and some dirty-ass
socks on or some Yeezy slideswith some dirty-ass socks on,
(09:37):
that's a wrap.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
You're not fucking with that, that's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know, that's a little
superficial, but I don't give afuck, I don't care about that,
but I just well.
What's another red flag?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
so I'll, I'll match you, but a green flag.
Okay, I have off that as, yeah,dirty shoes, that is bad.
But I do want like to me, agreen flag is if that person
feels comfortable.
Okay, not over the topcomfortable, um, but it does
(10:17):
feel comfortable.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
But respectful of you and that is it like when
they're in your house, whenthey're around you, just PDA.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yes, all the above, yeah, yeah, but you got to put
the time in, so maybe not rightoff the bat, but someone who you
feel is already putting thateffort right off the bat.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That's a green flag.
That's a green flag.
Yeah, to make you feel isalready putting that effort
right off the bat.
That's a green flag.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
That's a green flag to make you feel comfortable,
because I I like making peoplefeel comfortable right off the
bat okay, yeah, that could goboth ways for me.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You know, you put the , you put your feet up on my
once again we're talking about.
That's too comfortable yeahyeah, you put your feet up on my
leather couch.
We have a.
What the fuck are you doing?
Put your.
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Feet on the dash.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Manners, goddammit, you know that's a big one for me
Feet on the dash.
I'm out of feet on the dash.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I mean, it's usually a set of dirty feet too.
Yeah, you know, like, what'sanother red flag for you?
There's another place for them,and they're not on the dash.
I don't mind them out thewindow, I'll find that odd.
But not on the dash.
(11:33):
Relationships, guys, they'recrazy.
Red flags and green flags.
That's what we're going through.
And now what's a red flag forme?
Um, if you don't drive ambition, ambition is a huge red flag.
If you don't have any ambition,or you're not striving for
anything other than just to workand babies, you know, then
(12:02):
that's a problem.
I want you to have a little bitof dream in you.
You know, a little glimmer inyour eye, yeah, so if you don't
have ambition, that's a red flag, and if you have ambition,
that's a green flag.
No, how many seriousrelationships have you been in?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
At least half a dozen .
Okay, yeah, so I consider myserious relationships were the
ones I could put up with if theycould put up with for about a
year, year plus with if theycould put up with for about a
year, year plus.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Uh, so I got about six real good, serious
relationships in there.
Yeah, what do you think aboutthose people that uh jump in
from one relationship to thenext, serial monogamous or
serial daters or whateverthey're called, those people
that just continue to date.
They go from one to the next.
You ever dealt with anythinglike that?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Or have you ever been that?
I can't say I've ever been,that I've been told I'm too
picky.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, people have told me thatDoes a rebound work For
everybody out there listeningdoes a rebound person work?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Does a rebound person work?
And I'll even ask you this does, going back to the same person,
ever work in your mind?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
or your experience.
Yeah, I mean, I look atrelationships as things that you
choose, you want to put timeinto, just like a painting um,
it's a long, it's your long-termproject.
Um, I date with the idea ofbeing the last person I date you
(14:02):
know like, and I'm not big onmarriage.
So it is about commitment and astrong connection that keeps me
, not just a ring or religion.
No, I want to know that myperson is.
It's mine, you know, and that'snot in a possessive sense but,
(14:23):
like, in an energy way, like shewants to be around me.
I want to be around herRelationships.
I've always struggled with thembecause I'm very honest in them
.
You know, and sometimes yougotta lie.
You know what's a good lie in arelationship.
(14:45):
What's a good lie in arelationship?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
give me that well, so I felt very similar to you.
I feel like I'm very honest.
In general, I'll spit outsideways shit and sometimes it's
not what people want to hear orwhat they were expecting.
So I got that's similar withyou.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But what is a?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
lie to tell in a relationship A good lie.
She doesn't mean anything to me.
Oh shit, that was deep, that'sa good one and that's happened
to me.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Um, and I told that life and how did that affect the
future of that relationship?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
it usually eats me up before it eats them up.
So that lie eats me up, yeah,and I have to do something about
it.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I mean shoot.
There's several reasons.
Like they ask me oh, do I lookgood?
Yes, you look amazing today.
Does this taste good?
Mm-hmm, my mom gets on me allthe time about that.
She's like you got to learn howto lie better, you know?
Just like give a peace of minda little so people can have
(16:04):
their joy.
I'm not like that, you know.
I guess I'd be a hard person tobe with because I'm not like
that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So the food doesn't taste good.
You tell food tastes like shit.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I mean, is it worth it?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
What to lie or to not lie For the reaction.
Oh, so you, okay, in yourexperience, yeah, have you held
back on saying the lie?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
if I feel like it's gonna hurt the information's
gonna destroy you and like sendyou in a whirlwind, then I'll
probably I'll, I'll go around itand I'm going to tell you
because I tried.
I have a hard time with flying,but I'm going to roll it out
later, like maybe that couldhave used a little spice, or you
(16:57):
know.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Cleaned up a little bit.
Huh, cleaned it up a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, cleaned up a littlebit.
Huh, cleaned it up a little bityeah.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah yeah.
This is difficult too, becauseyou know I'm in a relationship,
so you know my lady's going tobe watching this and just
picking it apart.
So there's your shout out.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
But I think that goes both ways.
We're putting ourselves outthere from our experience, so I
actually learned what I thinkwe're doing in therapy today.
So this is podcasting.
We're getting our voices outthere, we're getting our
(17:38):
experiences out there.
We're hoping people learn fromour experiences and enjoy them.
But we're like a group supportout there.
We're hoping people learn fromour experiences and enjoy them,
but we're like a group supportsession.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, especially the feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I've been getting it's oh man.
I really enjoy your perspectiveon that.
So we're like, we're causing aThink tank yeah, think tank,
yeah, we're just kicking thinktank.
Yeah, yeah, kicking it around.
So I learned that therapy,sport, so I thought that was
(18:12):
really cool.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, so do you want to go into that?
That last, let's do it.
Yeah, just because we don'twant to hold back.
No, this is organic, guys.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, so this came from and maybe some of you might
not know this about me.
I worked at a Lego store forabout four years while I first
started going to school.
This is my manager there,Dolores.
She's put up the question whysociety looks at marriage as
(18:47):
being the end game or the goalin relationships why does
society look at that?
And it's a caveat is this tiedinto religion?
Does religion make this, makemarriage bigger than what it is?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, I think it demeans it a little bit.
I think the more paperwork andgovernment sanctions they put on
it and permits you need, theworse off it is.
It's not about love anymore.
People use it as advancement.
You know, because everything isintertwined with our finances.
(19:29):
The end, all of religion, man.
You know I'm not a big enoughChristian to ask answer that
question.
I was asking some people theother day and everybody has a
different perspective.
I think it's intertwined withinreligion, just because it's a
(19:49):
proper way to go about aninteraction, a lifelong
interaction, with somebody andtreat them to their best.
And God seals everything foreverybody.
(20:10):
You know, whatever religionyou're getting married in, I
guess he seals it up for you.
I don't know, when I get married, it's not going to be because
God or my Christian roots, it'sjust because I'm devoting my
energy to this person.
You know, that's why I'll getmarried.
If there's religious benefitsto it, cool.
You know, it's like one ofthose coupons you get for bakers
(20:33):
Del Taco, you know all of thatstuff.
Yeah, if there's benefits to it, then sure I'll take them all.
All religious benefits, I'm allfor it.
But that's not why I would getmarried.
I want to get married for, somy kids can see me walk down the
aisle.
Change your mom's last name,but that's like political,
(20:58):
religious stuff.
You know I don't necessarilyneed that.
Yeah, and I don't necessarilyneed that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't want her to feel likeshe can't run away either.
You know I'm not here to chainyou up through paperwork or
anything like that.
Anytime you want to go, you cango, Because if you truly want
(21:20):
somebody happy, you know youjust want what's best for them.
That's a crazy statement, butit's true.
Yeah, it is true.
What else we got over there?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
So another, another piece of this, and I feel like
this is kind of interesting too.
I feel like this is kind ofinteresting too.
How do you feel about peoplethat pry into each other's
(21:59):
relationships and ask them whyaren't they?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
married, or why they did get married, or why their
parents got divorced or whatnot.
Yeah, mind your business.
That's none of your goddamnbusiness.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And how can you be, how do you say to people, how
can you be in a committedrelationship without putting
that title on it, like this ismy wife, this is my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well, if a title means something to you, then put
a title on it.
You know, some people don'tneed that to be in love.
Some people don't want theirlove defined.
You know, oh, this is marriage.
What if it's not?
What if it's not?
You know what if the Egyptianshad it right?
(22:41):
What if the Buddhists had itright?
You know who's to say.
But if it makes you feel goodand that's part of your ceremony
, you know, go for it, right.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And do you think so?
Let's tiptoe into somethingthat we're not entirely
experienced.
We're both heterosexual, we'reboth heterosexual.
We're putting out there Do youthink hetero, not married
couples are less common now thansame sex partners, or do you
(23:24):
think that's easily received?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I think the fact that we have so many types of
relationships is different.
I only know one, you know.
I only know one.
So no, I know a few others.
I haven't participated in any,but I've always been a
traditional if you can call thattraditional with my
(23:51):
relationships.
I don't think.
Yes, I think the balance iskind of evening out.
I still feel like heterosexualcouples are the majority,
because that is what we chose tocome from.
You know what I mean.
I believe this new swing withsexuality and relationship type
(24:19):
is it's needed.
It's needed because you know,for people who find it hard to
be in a relationship withoutcheating.
All right, they got a name foryou now and a specific group for
your ass.
So now you don't have to wreakhavoc on Beth over here, who's
in the Christianity dating pool,and just want something normal.
(24:42):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
So more things are becoming the norm.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah, it opens up, it becoming the norm.
Yeah, it opens up, it's moreaccepting.
People are becoming moreaccepting with the datings
because of the big revealing ofthey, them, their, the religious
spectrum, all of these things.
You know, life is evolving andthat's one of the things that's
(25:07):
kind of evolved heavily issexuality and the way that
people are approaching theirrelationships.
I know kings back in the dayused to have more than one wife
they used to sleep with.
They had known servants whowere concubines and whatnot, and
(25:32):
I see a lot of people kind ofgo back to those old ways.
But it's also influenced alittle bit by religion, you know
, and history.
So I don't think it's wrong andI don't think it's right.
I do think that as a man it ishard to tame that edge.
You know what I mean, which iswhy you get all these men who
(25:55):
cheat and I think it's cool thatall these youngsters get an
opportunity to.
You know, live it in adifferent fashion, because there
was no such thing as an openrelationship when we were
growing up.
If you was in an openrelationship, you was just
fucking other people, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, you didn't talk about it, no.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
No, you know it wasn't.
Oh yeah, you know we get hurtand if you did it it was
considered taboo or you had aswinger overtone.
But now, yeah, they're out heredoing it and I don't.
I don't like to share.
Okay, I don't like to share, soyou can't have none of mine.
(26:37):
You feel me?
I'm not sharing my food, mylady, my car.
You feel me I'm none of that.
My phone, you can't, can't makeno calls on my stuff.
Yeah, there's just some thingsthat I'm not sharing, and my
girl is one of them, me being agermaphobe Bro, are you kidding
me?
Yeah, if you, are you kiddingme?
(26:57):
Absolutely not.
These dudes be dirty out here.
You know I'm going to use mylady up when they send her home.
Absolutely not.
And to the open relationshipfolk out there, kudos to y'all
for having the mindset to beable to get through that type of
stuff, because, man, I don'tpossess it and it just shows me
(27:19):
that we are so different in thisworld because, I don't know, I
have all kinds of like.
It would be more acceptable ifit was a girl.
Do you feel me Like a dude Icouldn't be with, but it'd be
okay if it was a girl, becauseI'm selfish in my own ways.
You know what I mean, like I'mall fucked up.
So you know that's the problemwith these things, you're being
(27:41):
honest, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'sa good thing being honest.
But then I wouldn't want twoproblems, compounded problems.
I don't want that.
You know I like having oneproblem, one thing to fix.
You got all those ladies, man,and not to say that.
But y'all ladies be on ourhelmets, man.
(28:02):
We feel like we got to fix shitin relationships.
You know, when you're're angry,when you're upset, we feel like
we have to.
Uh, our ladies should be happy.
Men take that as a um, as anegative.
If we see our lady sad ormoping around the house and
stuff like that, we that is adirect correlation to a little
(28:23):
bit of our manhood, because howwe like not race, but how we
care for you is considered.
A lot of our worth is put onthat.
It's on that scale.
Stop moping around your man ifhe's dope.
Stop moping around this dude.
(28:44):
You'll break a good man downwith a bad attitude trying to
get what you want.
Or Stop moping around this dude.
You'll break a good man downwith a bad attitude Trying to
get what you want or just beingan asshole.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah, what I can add to that is just support.
I've had relationships where Ididn't have a lot of support and
I've had relationships where Idid have support, and that could
be the difference maker as well.
Yeah, Good support system likewe did hit a topic we dance
around the topic and I thinkthis is going to be our tease
into the next topic.
Our next one-on-one session isgoing to be probably religion
(29:20):
based, so shoot some questionsto the dm, stay tuned, as always
.
Yeah, but I think because we'retiptoeing around some cool shit
and I want to jump more into it.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh, can I say one thing, absolutely Okay, one
thing.
When we decided to talk aboutrelationships, I wanted to
challenge everybody to thinkabout a different type of
relationship, not just theintimate one with your
significant other, but therelationship that you have with
(29:58):
life, with your kids, with yourjob.
Which ones are heavy, whichones are heavy, which ones are
light.
You know, I feel like littleadjustments make a huge
difference in relationships andyou know, say, if you're single
and you like the flashy dudewho's a a hard person to be with
(30:21):
, like it's probably not goingto work out in your favor.
A small adjustment could, youknow, lead to happiness in a
different form.
I was talking to one of myclients about that the other day
and how I was talking aboutblack women specifically, like
how I would never attracted aton of black women, and they
(30:44):
were like, oh yeah, you know.
And I was like well, for meit's because they like a certain
type and I don't fit thedemographic type of flashy.
You feel me Like, you know, andwe were talking about a
specific type of girl who likesa specific type of man and she
was complaining oh, you know,these relationships, da-da-da,
(31:05):
and I'm like, whoa, like you,you dating shit.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you're not really datingmen, you know, but we're not out
there doing that type of stuff.
We're at home, you know, we'reat Home Depot.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
We're at AutoZone, we're doingthings, we're uh.
(31:25):
So if you're looking for aquality man man, it is not the
dude at the club shining infront of you, that's a weekend
warrior.
You know, like he puts on thatbest outfit.
It probably took two weeks tobuy those Balenciagas that he
had to save up for.
Catch me, catch a man like mein some vans chilling at the
(31:48):
park doing some yard work.
You know, I think switchingwhat you want and what you need
is huge in relationships.
So if you guys are single outthere, it's not about what you
want, it's about what you needand that's huge for you, because
(32:08):
you over there chasing thewrong thing.
You know it's like the dogchasing the semi tire like, okay
, buddy, one day you're gonnaget it and your ass is gonna get
level.
yeah, you're not gonna like it,and you know how many baby
daddies should we count up?
You know what I mean?
We know there's a lot of peopleout there that have gone to the
(32:28):
shiny dude rather than areliable dude, and I am a
reliable dude, I'm not a shinydude.
You could put a dude next to mewho's you know?
He's a peacock, you know, butI'm a fucking falcon.
You feel me so like, yeah, wedon't have the same shine and
stuff like that, but youdefinitely want to be on this
(32:51):
side.
So fucking change your mindseton relationships and when you're
approaching these things.
Yes, that motherfucker probablylooks good, you know.
Same for men, same for men.
Yes, she probably looks good.
But, brad, is that what youwant to sign up for?
What kind of human being?
You know, because there is alittle bit of truth to you know.
(33:15):
You put so much time into yourbody.
It is a little bit ofnarcissism, you know what I mean
.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
And that doesn't mean , don't do it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You know, be the best you can.
You know, look the best you canfor whatever that is, but do it
in a healthy manner.
Do it in a healthy manner.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yeah, and that brought two things to mind for
me.
That's kind of a younger versusgetting older mindset too.
You learn that, and you alsobrought something to the top for
me.
You also brought something tothe top for me.
When I was in the military.
I had a horrible toxicrelationship with the military.
(33:52):
I was a machine on that end.
I could get everything I neededcompleted, but all my other
relationships struggled in oneway or another.
Right, so that was a badrelationship with my workplace.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, right, so that was a bad relationship with my
workplace.
Mm-hmm, yeah, I meanrelationships.
They're just like getting a newcar.
It's all exciting in thebeginning.
Hey, look at this, like it doesthis, it does that, and then it
starts to feel normal.
So that's why you want to focuson the human being rather than
(34:28):
just the look of them, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
So you ready for a roundup?
Yeah, I got two quotes again.
Bring them on.
One's by the author CharlesDickens.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
The pain of parting is nothing compared to the joy
of meeting again.
So I feel like that goes alongwith.
Uh, maybe your relationshipdidn't work out the first time
around.
Maybe you can work out a secondtime.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
You believe that?
Yeah, yeah, you, yeah, yeah.
I'm in a relationship like that.
I'm in one like that yeah yeah,you, yeah, I'm in a
relationship like that.
I'm in one like that, where,but it takes two yes, oh yeah, I
can believe.
I can believe, till the cows gohome.
But you know I still be fuckingup, creating issues and all
(35:28):
kind of shit.
You know there's twocounterparts, but on my side,
yeah, ten toes down.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
And then I got a deep one by the philosopher Epicurus
you don't develop courage bybeing happy in your
relationships every day.
You develop it by survivingdifficult times and challenging
adversity, so I feel like thatfit in well to a good portion of
(36:00):
our show as well, mm hmm, somany people give up on
relationships?
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Mm, hmm, so many people give up on relationships.
They search for greener grass.
They put all that energy andthat knowledge from going
through the trauma into a newrelationship and I don't know.
(36:31):
Sometimes it's better to juststick with what you know rather
than go out there and try overand over and over.
I feel like there's this bigstigma about a person checking
all the boxes.
Like, if you're doing the workand you're egoless and stuff
(36:53):
like that, you're not going toput that on your spouse Like, oh
, you got to check all the boxesand they're like nah, you're a
piece of shit if you're tryingto make somebody do that.
Can you put that in the rounduptoo?
You're a piece of shit if youtry and make them do that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
So, yeah, be open.
Be open, guys.
Relationships are supposed tobe fun.
We get in them and we treatthem like contracts and it's
just like you do this.
I fucking hate you.
That's a deal breaker.
Then we go in and we put allthis negativity.
(37:31):
He better have this.
She better have that.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Some of the funnest relationships I had were
borderline red flags, orangeflags, but it was fun for the
time being.
Yeah, is that fun now and everyday?
Yeah, fuck, no, I enjoy alittle crazy.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I do.
I enjoy a little bit of crazy.
That shit is fun.
It was when I was younger and Ihad the energy for it.
Oh man, not now, but definitelynot now.
Definitely not now.
It's a different type of crazy.
Now that's out here, you knowshe might bring a dude home.
Talking about this.
Is us like?
(38:10):
No, that's not us, you know,that's you on that note.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
You want to shout out our next guest, who we got?
Oh, my buddy Spike, yes yes,yes, yes, oh.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
We got one of my buddies coming up and for the
next interview.
He's amazing.
He's a shop owner out ofMarietta.
He owns Captain Tattoo.
He's been tattooing around 22years.
This is going to be a supersolid interview interview.
(38:43):
Nothing against the lastinterview, it's just a different
type.
You know, if you're expectingtattoo tips, you're probably not
going to get it, but we willget a lot of good stories and
Spike is an interestingcharacter that has been pivotal
in my years of tattooing.
He's been there since day one.
He fixed my machines and I'vekept that contact and I'm gonna
(39:03):
bring him to you guys so you cancheck his personality out.
He's cool, captain tattoo and,uh, marietta.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
All right, spike more at spike more on a big shout
out to spike and and shout outto michael uh welsh too, for
being our first guest.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
First guest.
Hopefully you guys like that.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, I'd also like to shout out we did have
technical issues.
We had technical issues.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
So if you were listening, to that last episode
and it sounded pretty shoddy.
I apologize.
We thought it'd be cool for ournew guest to open up a brand
new mic.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
And that mic was damaged.
We got the silver Fox out, yeah, so we got a brand new mic.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, we're classy.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah, we got the arm, so we're getting good.
Okay, I'd like to shout out mybuddy.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
He keeps giving me support, so I'm going to shout
him out Rob, rob, he was mygunner, oh old gunny Rob.
Yeah, in Afghanistan and he'sworking his way up the military
ladder.
I'm proud of him, okay, I'mreally proud of him.
He's going to be, he's going toprobably do his 20 years,
retire and all that.
(40:14):
Yeah, totally, shout out what Idid and I'm super proud of him
for that.
Oh, shout out, rob, appreciateyour service.
Brother, they're not the same,but I worked with them both at
Lego One.
Sam, he's been giving us a tonof support.
He's probably going to be thenext Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He's hitting the gym like crazy, oh damn.
And my buddy Tomas.
(40:40):
I tell him I go.
It's like you get tiered advice.
It goes from Brandon to me, tohim and then back around the
circle again, because I getadvice from him as well.
Yeah, so a big shout out to him, Shout out to all our
supporters.
This is fun.
This is the end of our show.
I hope you guys have a greatday.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening, bye.
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