How do I love like I've never been hurt? with Londin Angel Winters

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What is up babes? We are super excited.
We have something super special for you that we've been working
on for a long ass time and it iscalled a Grimoire, basically a
witchy ebook. Yeah, pretty much.
It comes from a long standing tradition of people writing
things down and passing them on.And the idea is that we have

(00:21):
reflection, stories, our own experience, and some rituals in
there for you to really get connected to your deepest inner
truths and figure out who you are from your own inner
philosophy. Fuck yeah.
Per the Babe Philosophy brand, we are calling your inner
philosopher out. Where can they find it?
Mama. So if you go to
babephilosophy.com, right there on the top, there is a little

(00:42):
thing for you to put your name and your e-mail in.
You do that, you confirm your subscription, and then boom,
there she is in your inbox. For free.
Go get it babes. We just had Doctor Adam Hodgkiss
on our podcast and learned how freaking important it is to get
your lab value is done so you can understand your biomarkers.

(01:04):
I check my biomarkers all the time.
Liv is newly inspired to check her biomarkers and we want women
to be getting their biomarkers tested so that they can live a
better and healthier freaking life.
To order your labs today, go to algorx.com and use code BABE
BABE for 10% off at checkout. Woohoo on this episode of Babe

(01:24):
Philosophy. When you learn how to love
through pain, this is. Fights that lead to lovemaking,
this is, you know, disagreementsthat just end up weaving that
rug tighter with each other. I mean, I see it in the
relationship that the two of youhave, like adversity just bonds
you deeper. Well, that can be true in a
sexual relationship. I mean, that's truly what I'm

(01:47):
living with, Justin. Like we're no longer afraid of
adversity because we, we know how to love through it and not
just love through it heart to heart, like friends, we know how
to fuck through it. We know how to meet it.
And you know how, you know how struggle and adversity and
difficulty it's, it's got a lot of fire, right?
Like it's got a lot of energy toit.

(02:09):
Well, imagine if that energy becomes the fuel for lovemaking.
This is Babe philosophy. A podcast where questions matter
more than answers, where liminalspaces are revered, and where
magic is practical. We are your hosts, Mellie Wolf,
and live wickedly. Welcome back to Babe the Last B.

(02:44):
We are here and this episode, Liv and I are always excited
about every episode, but this episode is equally extra
exciting for both Live and I because we have an extremely
special guest, Miss London AngelWinters, with us here today.
London is somebody that inspiresme beyond belief.

(03:07):
I can't even begin to. And I know she does this for so
many women, Liv included. Yeah, every time, anything that
comes out, it's hard not to pedestalize this woman because
she's. Really hard she's.
So fantastic. So I'm so excited.
Liv and I have read books that she's written.

(03:29):
She is deep in the tantric intimacy and conscious relating
world. And I will let her introduce
herself. Lyndon, tell us, who are you?
Hi. Hi, I'm happy to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.Who am I?
I am a chick that's living sexual yoga.

(03:52):
I mean, honestly, that's what I am.
I am an. I really AM.
Fuck yeah. I'm an author and a teacher, but
I honestly identify myself firstas a practitioner because what
is so great about sexual yoga isliving it.
And I move at the speed as an author of an and a teacher of
actually living it because that's where the fruit is.

(04:14):
And so I love it because I'm right there with all the women
trying to do this thing that is like hardcore vulnerable,
hardcore surrender, hardcore witchy magic, you know, just the
coolest stuff that there is, butcan take you to the mat, right?

(04:35):
Yes, loving. Loving can take you to the mat
when you do it with a unguarded body.
And that's what we'd be getting into today.
So spicy. Today we're gonna chat with
London about how the question is, how do I love?

(04:56):
Like I've never been hurt. And this question is something
that Liv. It's a question that Liv and I
have only recently begun to evenunderstand the actual meaning
of, in an embodied sense. Like very recently like.

(05:16):
Last couple months. Oh, this?
We're like. Available shit.
We can do this. We can do it this way.
How did we not know this for SO?Long don't have to be defensive,
guarded, hyper vigilant and masculine all the time.
What I. Can hold all of myself and not
be reactive. I don't.
I'm not constantly being abandoned and betrayed.

(05:39):
What? Yes, exactly.
So this is a super relevant topic for Liv and I and it's
what it's a big part of what angels teach or Angel London
Angel Winters teaches. And I think that this is such a
relevant piece of information tounpack for.

(06:01):
I mean, I would argue every single person that's ever had a
past because the past is something that kind of follows
us wherever we go. And it's really up to us how we
decide to integrate that narrative that we build based on
our past. So I would love lend London, if

(06:22):
you could dive into really what,what are we talking about when
we say love? Like I've never been hurt.
If you were to close your eyes and imagine yourself as like a
four year old, you know, like ready to give your love to the

(06:44):
world. We're all the unique this way.
Like, what did you do? Were you like singing at the top
of your lungs pretty much from morning to night?
Were you dressing in like 16 outfits a day?
Were you looking at people and smiling with the full force of
your heart when you walked by them?
Because hey, there's another human you know, can you, each of

(07:07):
you. I would be curious like it's
always fun to hear somebody's how do I love before I knew her
because you learned so much about them.
So let's start with you guys. Like how did you love before you
knew her? Like what?
What would your parents say? Like Oh my God when she was 3
she feeling the as. Soon as I closed my eyes and you

(07:28):
had us go back into that place, I could feel tears because I can
feel like the journey from that version of me to now and how
treacherous it has felt in my experience.
And it was very easy for me to connect to you.
I love to perform for people. I love to make them laugh, I
love to make them smile. You know, I'm pretty adept at

(07:49):
sussing out a mood and kind of figuring out how to like
container that person. And if they let me, you know,
shift whatever space they're in,give them that opportunity.
I'll provide the container. And hey, like you can shift this
if you want. Here's material, here's
material. And I, you know, that that got
smaller and shrunk, shrunk, shrunk, shrunk, shrunk, shrunk
until I was just needed to be perfect.
And instead of giving those things, it turned into like

(08:13):
survival mode defense mechanismsand inevitably pushing people
away and making them sad insteadof happy, Right.
Yeah. But I used to run around.
I, I used to tell all kinds of jokes.
I was also, I was a kid who would I would go dress up.
I would, I performed for my mom and dad all the time.
I performed for my aunts and uncles, my grandparents.

(08:35):
I would, you know, write poems or make art.
It didn't matter. I was just always creating
something to give somebody some joy.
That I think that's my love at its core.
I just want to hype you up. And if you think about the way
you held your body, right, your body was just in a free flow of
connection, right? Just a free flow.
And like not even like hooky connection.

(08:58):
Like are you liking me? Are you like more like I like
you. Let me help you.
I love you. Let me show you.
Hey, remember, life is fun. Yes.
Well, imagine if you had that with your beloved and that was
the thing that your beloved treasured the most about you.

(09:21):
Like today, like in this womanlybody.
Oh this feels so fucking relevant you have no idea.
So that's how you would love like you've never been hurt and
your work is to remove the junk that got put on that effulgent
heart. Mellie, what about you?

(09:41):
What did? What did you say?
I actually have a similar essence as Liv.
I would dress up and put on. I would literally put on shows.
I would rehearse them for maybe 30 minutes and then I would go
and I would put on a show wearing like the most absurd
clothing. Me and my best friend would like
dress up just like covered in silks.

(10:03):
Or sometimes we would dress up like we were men and like put on
a whole show about being a guy and how cool guys are and like,
you know, just trying to make people laugh.
And I was also really into arts and crafts.
Like I would I would paint things for people.
I would make friendship bracelets for people and give
out friendship bracelets like like everybody needed a

(10:23):
friendship bracelet. I acted like a friendship
bracelet was like what everybodywanted.
It was like I will make one for you, do not worry like.
It will be OK. I will give you a friendship
bracelet. And I also used to cook a lot
for my parents. I used to wake up early and you
know, when I was like little little, I wasn't allowed to use
the stove. So I would put eggs in the

(10:44):
microwave and I would microwave eggs and then I would also
microwave water and make tea from microwave water.
And then I would have my parentscome in.
Our kitchen was set up so that there was like a window where
you could go outside and almost like a fast food restaurant,
like a pickup window. And I would make them, I would

(11:07):
make them come. They tried to come into the
kitchen to make breakfast. I'm like, don't, no, no, no, I
made you breakfast. Go to the pickup window.
It would be waiting for you and it would be like microwaved eggs
and tea. Oh my God, that's so adorable.
Yes, that was me. So you imagine, what if you were

(11:30):
that free in sacred intimacy, right?
Like where you could really lay your love out there in the way
that your heart loves. Like if he was grumpy, you were
like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You sit down. I got some microwaved eggs that
I've been working on since I wasfour.

(11:52):
They have blown the last one up in the microwave.
It's a little dirty, but we got a new one.
But I mean, really imagine. And, and now I want you to take
it one step further, both of you.
Imagine if that was your sexing too.
Like now you're not a little girl.
Now you're actually making love with that much creativity, with

(12:14):
that much unbridled giving, withthat much unafraid of the
response, unafraid when you're that age like you're not.
Oh, people don't like friendshipbracelets.
You know, you don't you don't censor, you don't limit because

(12:34):
you are unlimited in love. Can you guys feel that what
you're describing is that you'reunlimited in love.
And this is what I love and why I live sexual yoga is that
devotion to becoming unlimited in love.
And I mean it. I really mean it.
Like, what else are we here to do?

(12:54):
You know, I mean like, yeah, youknow, it's fun to create and be
successful and like do the more alpha stuff like have a mission,
penetrate the world with a message that's all kick ass.
And I do that too. But how many of us Orient
ourselves towards being unlimited in how we give our and

(13:15):
reclaiming? I call it a phulgent because
it's like you can always feel when you touch this place that
when you were that age, you werelike this wellspring.
It was like there was a literally like a spring just
coming up from your central channel all the time.
Can you feel that, you know, like you just like you have that
creativity, you have that that drive to like practice for 30

(13:39):
minutes and then be like, I'm here and I'm ready.
I mean, just the way you guys introduced the podcast with the
song, like speaks to that part of us.
And in sexual yoga, that would be called the central channel.
And there's liquid love freely flowing and coming right out of
your expression. So like, imagine you have a

(14:00):
cauldron like that. Deep, low cauldron.
Yummy, yummy. You stir it, it gets hot and
bubbly. It melts the heart.
The heart breaks apart, gives you all this wisdom.
And then it just pours freely from your expression.
As a child, you had that non sexually.
As an adult woman, Oh my goodness, you can reclaim all of

(14:24):
that sexually. So then we look at, OK, what are
the conditions? How do we like set this up?
Yeah, that's totally what I'm thinking because you're, you're
saying these things and I love that you brought us back to
what's possible, right? Because the, my first thought
when I saw this question was like, there are versions of me
that would have been like, you can't, like I'm hurt.

(14:45):
There's no, there is no loving. Like I'm not hurt.
I am fucking hurt, right? And I realized there's like
this, like limiting little factor that forgot it was
possible to love without the hurt because I don't remember in
my consciousness what that's like.
So you brought me back to that place and I felt the like tears
of grieving of, oh, I'm disconnected from this, but this

(15:07):
is in here. This is in me.
And then as you were talking, I was like, I feel this with
Mellie all the time. And then I'm dying laughing
about like how we like to give love.
And I'm like, yeah, no shit. We started to pod dress
together. It's great.
Pink and I was thinking too. Yeah, like this podcast?
Is really that expression talking about?
Yeah, exactly. So now I'm like, oh, my God,
it's actually the way that I love dogs or my dog.

(15:29):
I'm like, oh, it is everywhere. And so then you started
mentioning conditions, and I'm like, OK, And then that's where
I am imposing my own limitations, that unlimited love
becomes inaccessible because I've chosen, oh, these
conditions mean that this is notaccessible here.
Yes. And so I'm actually, I am
wondering like London, what the fuck do we do about that?

(15:50):
Because it's, it's real lived experience that gets us to show
up in the face of those conditions as scared, as
guarded, as defensive. And I don't, I don't want to
like throw out my lived experience and say everybody's
safe to love because that's justnot practical.

(16:10):
I love with that time. I don't want to just continue to
perpetuate the narrative that giving my love is unsafe,
receiving love is unsafe. So I'm very curious if we
connect to that, OK, what do I do with this like concept and
idea that I can live unlimited, but I feel fucking limited.
What do I do about that? Yeah.

(16:32):
Yeah. Well, thank you very much for
asking. I would love to answer that
because that's kind of what I'm passionate about.
Well, the first thing to recognize is the child loves
like that because the child's never been hurt.
You know, I have a little 6 yearold and like she loves like that
because like the world's her oyster and mom and dad clap when

(16:55):
she performs, you know? And so there's that element of
she's just still in the divine blueprint, you know what I mean?
Like she's in the divine blueprint, she came from that.
She's just living it. She wears it all the time and
hardly anything challenges that.Well, then let's look at
ourselves. And like some of those early

(17:16):
slaps, some of those brutal hurts, Oh my God, early
adulthood, some freaking 2 by fours.
Not all of them other inflicted.Some of them destiny inflicted.
You know where you're just like,wait a minute, what miscarriage,
You know, like just shit happens.

(17:37):
And it's just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
And now you're the woman. And there's that real like
crossroads. Am I going to keep loving or am
I going to get vigilant? Am I going to keep loving or am
I going to like, for example, ifI've been punched in the belly,

(17:58):
you really think I'm going to stand in front of the the next
boxing glove and like soften my belly, which is kind of the
essence of what your question was?
Yes, it sounds crazy. It is crazy.
And I'm. I'm not going to keep this
simplistic. We're going to go into the
complexity of why that would be a stupid idea.
Yeah. I'm not going to be like

(18:20):
Pollyanna, like it's all cool, you know, because it's not.
Yeah, Mellie knows me well enough to know that is not my
message. But however the child loves
because the child's never been hurt.
The what I call awakened woman, a woman who's on the path of

(18:41):
awakening, who's using her sexuality to grow spiritually,
that's a key component here. If your sexuality is just about
good fuck and you don't care, we're in a different
conversation. But if you want your sexuality,
your sensuality, your yoni to become a sacred temple of

(19:01):
awakening, like more of a witchyway where you're like, you know,
I'm getting out of the way and finding out what moves through
me when I don't move, that's a whole shift into a more sexual
yoga point of view with me so far.
You know, like I'm going to makethis sexuality I have sacred.

(19:24):
OK, that's the shift. So that's the big pivot point
when we begin to get interested in that.
Now we're looking at what is my sexuality serving?
Is it serving my awakening? Is it serving my evolution like
my spiritual maturity? Or is it just serving my craving

(19:46):
for attention, my fears of beingabandoned like you?
You shift what your sexuality's serving from all of the wounds
and all of the shoring up to an awakening process.
So that's step one. Step 2.
Is the awakening. So I call that the awakened

(20:07):
woman. She's like waking up with this
stuff. Step 2 is the awakened woman
loves through hurt. The child loves because it's
never been hurt. The awakened woman loves not in
spite of hurt, not avoiding hurt, but through hurt.

(20:27):
Can you feel that? Even just that one line, Like if
that's all you heard, you're like, oh, I have a sense of
this. Yes, yeah.
And I literally thought of that's how I love this woman.
Yeah, straight up, I do. I do.
God, we were just talking about this.
Actually, Yeah. That is so beautiful.

(20:49):
And can you guys feel how there's so much trust there
because? It's it's like oxygen to me.
I trust Mellie. I trust I can breathe.
At the point there's no oxygen, we'll all be dead and who cares?
Yes, no, you're, you're so on track with what you're saying
because Omega blooms when Omega trusts.

(21:14):
It comes down to trust. This is how we don't get naive
like, you know, oh, the awakenedwoman loves through hurt.
Well, OK, so I'm just going to love, you know, you're crushing
me. Like, you know, I have this
blooming garden and you're just crushing the flowers.
But I'm going to keep loving. Yeah, that's.

(21:35):
The distortion in the soft womanera.
Yeah, and that's, and that's what we were doing before, you
know, just the no, the no boundaries, the I'm going to
take care of somebody else's trauma and I need to be
available for all the crap they throw at me if I'm actually
unconditionally loving. But like you said, they're
stomping on your garden. Yeah, and that's not serving

(22:01):
them either. Are they awakening?
If you're not, you know, there'sno one awakening in that.
That's kind of like putting a really pretty dress on
codependency, you know, like taking a lot of spirit, taking a
lot of spiritual ideas and like wrapping them around codependent
dynamic. But enter a different picture,

(22:22):
which is where we're serving awakening.
So the awakened woman loves through hurt.
Step 3 is what are you serving? And you're not serving the man,
for example, right. Like if you're in relationship
with men, you're not serving theman, you're serving the

(22:42):
consciousness that may or may not be coming through him.
You copy that. So in a moment where he's like
unaware, insensitive and reactive, like that's not
something that you're sexually worshipping.
And where people get into trouble is they just, I get this
idea. I want to be, I want to be a

(23:04):
dakini who's sexually worshiping.
And then he's throwing unaware, insensitive and reactive at you.
And, and you're like, yes, because I just want to be a yes.
I want to love like I've never been hurt.
I'm just going to be a yes. I'm an always open yes.
You know, TikTok like 6 months later, you're going to be like,

(23:24):
screw this dakini stuff. Like I think I got off the I got
on the wrong track and and you know what, screw it, you know?
But I've been doing this for almost 2 decades.
Like what makes it sustainable to live with this openness?
It's when you give up your childlike need to trust and you

(23:47):
land your trust in a moment. Like in this moment, I trust,
OK, I can breathe that into me. In this moment, I'm losing
trust. I can use my expression, I'm
losing trust. I'm losing trust.
This doesn't feel good to me. But you're you're, you're
expressing, you're expressing that moment to moment.

(24:10):
I'm trusting, I'm losing trust. And then by that, you're
awakening your partner because you're reflecting the
consciousness that is present ornot, but you're landing yourself
in love. You're trust, you're serving
love, You're not serving. It works out.
You're serving love, You're not serving.
Oh, I think I've pretty much realized that if I give you

(24:33):
something difficult, you'll collapse.
So I'm just going to hold back all the difficult and pretzel
out until I don't have any arms and I don't have any legs.
But this work, this relationshipis still going.
Yeah. Now that that is a good
metaphor. You know what I mean?
Yes, that's the thing that killsme the most is like watching
women get smaller and smaller inthe name of wanting to connect

(24:56):
to that central channel. Well, guess what?
That central channel that liquidlove is literally surging
through can become the basis of your life.
It can become the basis of your life and you can still kick ass
in the world and do amazing things in mission.
In fact, you can do more becauseyou get all the good ideas, you
get all the downloads of the codes, you get all of the re

(25:18):
nourishment you get, You know, you're like literally
regenerating in every moment instead of degenerating, instead
of like leaky bucket. It's that effulgent feeling that
you had as a child where your creativity had no end.
This is what I mean by loving like you've never been hurt.

(25:39):
How do I love like I've never been hurt?
First you find out what it looked like, and then you go
remove the barriers. Through real, raw relating,
through being courageous in the moment, through softening your
body and letting your voice say no instead of your body just
becoming a no. Say no instead of letting your

(26:05):
body become a no. Yes, yeah, that is OK.
That is bringing up so much for me because and I think this is
true for so many people and and what you said to earlier,
London, you said, you know, I'm just going to withhold because
you collapse every time I speak my truth, right?
That is like a tale as old as time.

(26:26):
That's like the epitome of codependency.
That's like where, so I, I go there all the time, my partner
goes there all the time. You know, it's like this is
something that I continue to check myself on over and over
and over again. And you know, what I'm hearing
you say is essentially like, youknow, you're using the word
love. It's like really connecting to

(26:47):
the intention of love, which is not, how do I make this work?
How do, how do we stay together?But what do I do that's most
true to me right now in, in my reality, that's most authentic
in my lived experience. How do I show up that way?
And that ultimately that is the most loving action and holding
that not as a reaction and not as a, you know, accusation, but

(27:08):
as just a feeling that you're having that's true to you that
isn't a, you know, an accusationor a projection and something
that, you know, I think that formyself, I am at the point in in
this evolution where I can initiate that conversation.

(27:29):
Now I have found the strength inmyself to go, OK, I'm really
connected to this feeling I'm having and I know what's
happening. I can I have eyes on this being
maybe much more than the situation at hand.
You know, maybe this is a triggered experience that's
reminding me of an experience that happened however long ago

(27:51):
that or the a cycle I've been through many, many times in my
life. And I, I feel that now in the
face of Matt, my partner, I havethe courage the majority of the
time to say, hey, this is, this is hard for me to do right now.
I'm, I'm having this feeling right now like this is coming up

(28:12):
for me right now. And I'm able to do that in a way
that is loving in the sense thatI'm not making it his problem,
I'm not making it his fault. I'm not making it, you know,
anything he necessarily did or didn't do.
It's just a reality that I'm sitting in, in this moment in my
own internal ecosystem. And then but what?

(28:33):
And sometimes that is so well received because he can connect
to the truth with me. He can connect to that love with
me. He can see what I'm doing.
He can see that, oh, OK, this isher truth.
She's not making it my problem. I can hold her in that.
And those are, you know, those are the ideal situations, right?
And then there are the times when he can't and he does react

(28:57):
or he does collapse or he does get defensive or he does, you
know, do that. Well, that sounds like a you
problem, You know, like fuck off.
And that that space I get chokedbecause in my experience, I'm
like, wait, that's not what was supposed to happen.
You were supposed to be able to hold my truth.
What happened, You know, and I think that in my evolution is

(29:22):
the sticking point for me where it's like, OK, I I have that
first bridge, but then once I cross that first bridge, I'm so
wrong vulnerable in my experience that if there's
another bridge to cross, I don'tknow if I can keep holding that.
You know what I mean? Like, are you following what I'm
saying? It's it's it's a multi part,
like onion experience where it'slike, OK, yes, speak your truth,

(29:46):
be honest, be truthful, be loving.
And then what happens if they docollapse in front of you?
What happens if there is this pattern of OK, you they can't
hold, they can't hold what you're even if you are coming
with the truth, the love and andyou are omitting the accusations
and the projections. And now you're sitting in a

(30:08):
space. And I think one that's
particularly sensitive and challenging to walk around is in
the bedroom, is in physical intimacy, is in the space of
like, you know, I want to do this or I want to touch you this
way. And for them to be like, fuck
no, you know, And then it's like.
What do I do now? You know, I would love to hear

(30:29):
like the next layer of the onionwhen you're actually in that
space where you have opened yourself.
You know, you are that rawness of that Omega experience and
you're still facing rejection. You're still facing the the
harsh the wall. Great.

(30:50):
Question I know I hear women going through this every day.
I'm always hearing this is like I'm bringing my best and he
can't handle me right. So I go back to that very potent
line loves through hurt. You can probably already feel

(31:14):
the answer just in that line loves through hurt, not even in
spite of hurt, right? If we said Love's in spite of
hurt, you'd be like, you'd have to be like, write him off.
You'd have to be like, well, he's collapsing, but I'm not
going to. And you've just literally
separated yourself from the relational field, which can be

(31:37):
healthy if you're with an abuser, You know, like nobody's
saying like, you know, stick around for the knife.
But ideally our spiritual evolution comes from oneness.
It's from recognizing like thereare not 2.
And so how do we merge with thisfield with not like losing the

(31:58):
wisdom you guys with me or am I getting a little esoteric?
I'm with you. OK, 'cause like there's a gift
in learning how to relate to a lover.
And the gift is you're learning how to relate to all of
existence when you Make Love andyou learn how to have a full
body orgasm where everything surrenders and you're just whole
body's like a billowing sheet. You're learning how to die a

(32:22):
beautiful death. You're learning how to like
annihilate yourself in love. And and that goes from the big
stuff like full body release into orgasm and not worrying
about completely losing your identity to the little stuff
like how do you be love in the face of unloved when he
collapses, That's what you're facing.

(32:44):
You're facing like, how do I be love in the face of unloved?
Because guess what? Your collapse is really making
me want to collapse, right? His reactivity begets your
reactivity begets his reactivity.
And now have your guys ever ended up in a fight where you
can't even remember what it's about?
Like, I don't even know what we're fighting about anymore.

(33:04):
I don't even know how we got here.
That's just reactivity causing reactivity causing reactivity.
So what we're learning how to dois love through the pain, and
the pain is teaching us about surrender.
So orgasm's teaching us about surrender.
Death is teaching about surrender.
And I'm talking about the death of anything.

(33:24):
You lose something that's precious to you, you're facing a
death. How do I surrender then?
How do I surrender then? How do I surrender then?
So the way to surrender in almost any condition, almost any
moment, you can't control 90% ofthe conditions that arise in
your field. You can try, but that requires
the vigilance. If you're going to let go of the

(33:46):
vigilance, you're really truly facing a field of chaos.
But you learn how to surrender in.
And how you learn how to surrender in is you learn how to
literally breathe with what is occurring.
So let's say, you know, you say,hey, I have a sexy idea.
I wanna, and you lay something out that's really vulnerable to

(34:08):
say sexually. And he looks at you like, huh?
And you're just like, like the shame of your whole childhood,
just like cascades upon you. Oh my God, I really am a freak.
I mean, no wonder why I never mentioned that to anybody.
Yeah. Well, in that moment, you have a

(34:30):
couple options. You can like, go into a shame
cycle embodied. You know you can stop breathing.
You can you can curl in, you cantense up and then you can let
the cascade of like self loathing head head in that would
be resisting the moment. Or you could peel back and peel

(34:50):
back and take a deep breath withthe divine itself and love
through the moment. I see this is really hard for
me. Oh my God, I see, I see.
I'm afraid that there's something wrong with me.
I feel, I feel like I'm at my edge at this moment.

(35:14):
I feel like I can barely even breathe.
You know, you're just being withthe moment as it's occurring and
you're just little by little releasing your resistance.
You're seeing, you're feeling, you're breathing, you're
softening, and you're just meeting this moment that is so
perfectly divined to help you unravel probably 1,000,000 chain

(35:37):
links from the past. And then the next thing you
know, you're a little more sexually free because you can
meet the worst fear moment. Like you name a desire and you
get shamed and then you still breathe.
You can meet that moment you loved through hurt, and when
you're not afraid of hurts coming because you know how to

(35:59):
love through hurt, you are a little bit more like that four
year old version of you. But you chose to love like
you've never been hurt and that four year old love because it's
never been. And when you do this, two things
occur. Your partner will either meet
you there or they won't, but you're releasing the Velcro from

(36:20):
those really old patterns like you're letting go of your side
of the Velcro continually and then your partner, because
they're you're no longer Velcroed together in this
limiting pattern. Your partner might, I see this
all the time, just suddenly be like, wow, I had this big
awakening. I don't need to do that anymore.

(36:41):
I can be with your desires. Like I don't know what I was
thinking, 'cause you've up leveled vibrationally the whole
thing and then he just goes right with you.
If he wants to grow, he usually just kind of like there's just
spaciousness and inside of spaciousness, things resolve
magically. Or your partner may not want to

(37:01):
grow. Like they might be holding on.
Maybe they got so shamed in their childhood that your
opening is too much for them andthey don't want to be that open.
They were colluding with you in closure and you let go of the
closure. They don't want to, they don't
want you to do that. Like, hey, what happened?
We used to live small together. And then it's just much easier

(37:22):
to let it go because you've completed that karma.
It's like you just kind of have that experience of like bowing
to each other, like, OK, I thinkthis has completed.
And then if you stay wide open, not always open, but wide open
to love to your central channel,to liquid love, to knowing how
you want to give your love before you die, you'll call in

(37:44):
another partner like that. I mean, you really will.
I see it all the time because you're now going to the universe
is going to play with you where you're at now.
But then that partner is going to bring a whole new set of Boga
yoga. You know, like now you've got a
whole another stuff that you're going to meet.
And ultimately, what's so beautiful about learning the

(38:05):
skill of loving through pain is like, eventually you will meet
that beloved where it becomes a path together.
Like, there's glue and you're doing this together.
And when you learn how to love through pain, this is fights
that lead to lovemaking. This is, you know, disagreements
that just end up weaving that rug tighter with each other.

(38:28):
I mean, I see it in the relationship that the two of you
have, Like, adversity just bondsyou deeper.
Well, that can be true in a sexual relationship.
Yeah, I mean, that's truly what I'm living with, Justin.
Like we're no longer afraid of adversity because we we know how
to love through it and not just love through it heart to heart.

(38:48):
Like friends. We know how to fuck through it.
We know how to meet it. Yeah, we know how to meet it.
And you know how, you know how struggle and adversity and
difficulty it's it's got a lot of fire, right?
Like, it's got a lot of energy to it.
Well, imagine if that energy becomes the fuel for lovemaking

(39:11):
and not in a toxic way, like, fight, you know, like, couples
that have makeup sex and, like, are sort of, like, using their
hate for each other to fuel their genitals.
We all know what that feels like.
But I mean, like, yeah, like, that's fun, but it's really
destructive. You know, like, you can't get
anything done in the day becausethe relationship's so much

(39:32):
drama. I'm more talking about that
sexual yoga thing where it's just energy and you channel
energy sexually. And by that, you're growing from
you. Remember how I said you're in
service to your sexuality, awakening you?
Well, this is what we're really talking about is you are a
master of energy and you learn how to be with the intensity and

(39:57):
channel the intensity into awakening.
It gets a little esoteric, but Ithink you guys can feel what I'm
saying. It's it's profound.
It's profound and it's availableto householders.
Before you had to live in a monastery to know and learn and
do. But this, this technology is

(40:17):
entering the household space. It is, It is.
And the ability to like, Rocket is speeding up.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
And that's special because the amount of awakening that comes
out of this, when you have two people living and loving at this

(40:37):
level, you guys become unstoppable in bringing rippling
your awakening into the world. Yeah, it's actually, it's, it's
like a whole new chapter in relating for us as a human, as a
as a human race. Well, this makes me want to

(40:58):
maybe touch a little bit into because you mentioned sexual
yoga multiple times and maybe wecan open that can of worms a
little bit. I wanna I do want to roll back
to something I just noticed about you.
And this is actually something that I've just saw in you just,
you know, well, I heard that my first introduction to you is the
book that Mellie playing with fire.

(41:19):
That's what it's called, right, Playing with fire.
She was like, you have to listento this book.
And I was like, I, I listen to that book really fast.
It was like it took me like 2 days I think.
I was like, Oh my God, they there are relationships like
this. Oh my God, how are these?
Oh my God, this is amazing. Yeah.
Plug for the book. Yeah, literally yes, yes, if you
want to know what's possible andhow small you're playing in your

(41:41):
current relationship. Listen to this book.
They are so much more available to you and your partner and the
US of it all. And then, you know, following
you on Instagram and just kind of like, even just like watching
how you move in your body, like I can see you feeling, I can see
you in your flow. I can kind of just literally
visually see and hear from you, your trust period.

(42:05):
And even in the way that you speak, it's never about any
anything outside of you. You're always just speaking
about these things as these are elements of the world.
These these are elements that I can be with, dance with, flow
with, move through. And it's not mine or his or
theirs. It just is.
It's very neutral in the way that you speak about it, but you

(42:26):
don't bypass it either. You're being with it.
And I was, I just kept thinking like as you were talking, I was
like, Oh my God, I'm having a little bit of like a light board
moment of my big body fear is ofbeing betrayed again.
And through your speaking and you're talking about trust and

(42:48):
even just like seeing your embodiment and going oh, like
when an an energy that is uncomfortable, like betrayal,
betrayal fucking hurts. What if instead of stiffening, I
just move it and then I just think the only way I get to the
space of feeling that and going,Oh, I can be present with this.

(43:08):
I can love through this. I can move.
This is if I trust, if I have trust in myself, in this energy,
in this is a moment. This isn't forever.
If I have that trust, even in even in your when you this, you
blew my mind when you were like,I can say out loud, I'm losing
trust. I can say that out loud to

(43:29):
someone. I can say that to my partner,
who I'm just supposed to implicitly trust all the time.
Whoa. That like opened my mind up.
And I'm like, that also takes trust, right?
So there's actually no real fearof being betrayed.
If I trust that I can be with betrayal.
Oh, I might I the chances that somebody does something that

(43:51):
feels like betrayal to me are 110% because I'm a person
interacting with other people inthe world and I deeply desire
intimacy. And I'm going to stay open to
that. I will be betrayed again.
That will just happen. And I can't trust myself to be
with betrayal. And I just feel like there's a
link between, and correct me if I'm wrong, I just perceive I'm
seeing this. There's a link between your

(44:13):
sexual yoga practice and your level of embodiment and how you
can trust yourself and how you can trust what you're feeling
and you can trust the present moment and let go of the past
and let go of the future. So you can just be here right
now, let the experience happen and then, you know, when you're
on the other side, if you need to make a choice to leave
because you're like, Oh no, thisis just abusive or, you know,

(44:36):
lean in more or whatever your choice might be after the actual
experience. But I feel like I'm seeing those
two things. OK, OK, good.
She's nodding. So I would love to, I would love
to hear a little bit more about how the sexual yoga practice,
what that is really, and then how that can maybe help engender
this trust in the self and in everything.

(44:58):
Ultimately, the surrender reallyis just trusting everything.
How can people actually are likeour most of our listeners are
women, You know it from, you know, 25 to 35.
How can they start embodying that?
So that way there is this possibility of loving like
you've never been hurt. Yeah, that was a dope question.

(45:20):
That was a dope question. I was so blown away by your I'm
really actually blown away by your insight because you're
seeing something that I haven't said, but it's so important.
I just taught a women's weekend last weekend and there was a
whole segment on, you know, my tagline is how do I love before

(45:41):
I knew her? And so I get people coming all
the time, like how? And I wrote, I taught an entire
segment. And the title of the segment was
your inner marriage is the only,only thing that gives you the
ability to love like you've never been hurt.
It's not the it's not the guy. It's not the, you know, great

(46:04):
relationship. It's not that you finally met
like somebody that you can trust, right?
That's the illusion. You know, thanks to Disney, we
all think we're just waiting forthe Prince, you know, And then,
Oh my God, you're here. Let me let down my hair and now
I can trust you know what I mean?
I couldn't. Try to let their hair down.
I'm like, yeah. Like I couldn't trust my evil

(46:25):
stepmom, but Oh my gosh, here I can trust you climb up into my
world. So like there's this idea that
we're all outsourcing what what do we trust?
And, and it's very sexy in sexual yoga to give a man your
trust, you know, like just so you know, the the Omega

(46:50):
principle in men and women. But when you're in that more
Omega place where you're love inyour love driven side, you feel
loved by being loved. But when you're in your more
alpha side, which is more purposeful and forward moving
and like create, you know, creating, penetrating the world

(47:10):
with your creations, it you're loved when you're trusted and
you feel how true that is. Like if you have a creative
project with a friend and they don't trust your ideas, you
start to feel like unloved. Well, that's how a lot of men
feel in relationship. Like if they're not trusted,
they feel unloved. You could say to a man, I love

(47:31):
you and he's like, great. But if you say I trust you, he's
like ha ha right? Well women intuit this and so
they constantly want to give their man their trust because
nothing makes him bigger than that.
But The thing is if you are giving your trust to a mere

(47:53):
mortal, I mean what you said is totally true.
Like of course he's going to betray you.
He's going to betray you like 6 times before Sunday, maybe not
in huge ways that lead to break UPS.
Like he's not going to necessarily cheat on you 6 times
till Sunday. And if he does, fuck him.
But let's say he says, oh, honey, yeah, I'll change the
filter on the AC unit today. I I'll get to it.

(48:15):
I'll get to it. And then you end your day at
like 9:00 PM, you walk out of your studio and you're like,
there's the filter. Like I'm done caked and shit.
You know, no wonder why I'm, I'mwheezing.
And so these are betrayals of trust.
And if you are trying to put your trust in a mere mortal,

(48:37):
best of luck. You know there there's no mere
mortal that's going to like, deliver every time.
But here's the thing. Omega blooms when Omega trusts.
So how do you take sovereignty over your bloom?
Like, how do you know how to be surging in liquid love through
your central channel pretty muchalmost every day if there's

(49:00):
nothing about the occurring world you can really trust,
especially lately? I mean, every time you wake up,
there's some massive new thing going on that challenges your
trust. You know, you're just like,
whoa, like, this is nuts. This is changing so fast.
You know, we're on a rock crawling through space.
And that's just the small of it,you know?

(49:21):
So it's very hard to trust. It's very hard to trust.
There's only one thing you can actually trust.
And I'm gonna tell you what it is.
And you question for yourself whether this is true or not.
So if you close your eyes right now and you take all of your
thoughts and you put them to theright and like, not in a bad

(49:44):
way, not like, oh, there's my thoughts, I can't meditate.
But like your beautiful thoughts, like the things that
inspire you to think about. And you take them off like a
garment that you love. And you just place them to the
right. And then you identify all the
feelings and sensations and likestimulations, and you put those
like a beautiful garment off to the left.

(50:05):
And so now anytime a thought or a feeling rises, you're just
channelling it to the right and the left.
What is left? How do you even know you're here
if you don't have any thinking and feeling either of you want
to say what's here? When you stop thinking and
feeling it feels, what do you notice?
Just pure presence. Just pure presence and
observation of. Yes, knowing, right, pure

(50:28):
presence. And now I want you to imagine
when you looked in the mirror this morning, what was looking
back? That same pure presence, Right?
And now remember a time when youwere a child and you looked in
the mirror. What was looking back?
That same pure presence. And so you can open your eyes.
That pure presence has never changed, ever.

(50:52):
It's undisturbable, it's unflappable, and it's totally
intimate with your moment, everymoment.
The part of you that even knows you're here, part of you that
even knows anything, separate from the constant change and
flow of thoughts and feelings. That's pure presence, what would
be called pure awareness. That's trustworthy.

(51:18):
So the right, the awakened womanis in constant deep fuck with
that. Now that's what Justin and I
call the seer. Seer just resting there as the
constant knower. And then your feeler is all of
the color and all of the change and all of the chaos, the
wonderful crazy chaos. And when you maintain constant

(51:43):
deep fuck with your seer, you will always bloom.
No one can take your bloom away.There's no condition,
circumstance, event, betrayal, whatever.
Because the betrayal happens. And you.
That was awesome. That was really good typing.
That was just amazing. I just like have to take a

(52:05):
moment to appreciate. That's just so good.
This is the culprit. Hi, did you love that?
She's like betrayal. No, that's.
So fun, but imagine like a betrayal happens and now you
have your seer and your seer says to your feeler who's deeply

(52:28):
in this life experience, like who loved that person and wanted
it to work. Your seer says, I see you
hurting. And then your feeler is
completely held by trust. Like, you know, the kind of
thing that like the constant, what I call the eternal embrace,
I don't call it that. A lot of people call it that,
but you know what I mean? Like that's what I'm speaking to
is the eternal embrace that has never once gone anywhere on you.

(52:52):
It's always been there and it always will be there.
And you want to get your feeler connected to that.
And when you do, you begin loving like an Oracle, because
now you're bringing this to you,but also to Him.
How that sounds sexy as. Book.
It's sexy. I'm like, I want to love.
Like an organ you guys, it is sexy as fuck because you are now

(53:16):
inspiring him with the wisdom and the wideness and the full on
courage, sensitivity, non reactivity of divine love.
And is this your, and this is what you said as like you speak
of it in kind of a neutral way because ultimately what you
realize is you're just the vessel and something so much

(53:40):
bigger is moving through you. When you get out of the way,
you'll be blown away by how fucking big the enormity of
being is. And then you become that
sexually. Watch his eyes pop out, watch
him shape up so he doesn't get shipped out.
You know what I mean? Like it becomes something so

(54:02):
worthy of sexual worship and inspires consciousness from him.
And then, you know, in moments when you're lagging, he is that
for you. And this is what Justin and I
call a sacred relationship whereyou're doing this for and with
each other, where you're growingsexually and spiritually
together and where you're using the polarities not because you

(54:28):
believe in duality. Like polarity at its essence is
is like the sickest form of duality, you know, like, are you
really masculine or feminine? Come on, does your consciousness
need a penis to be consciousness?
Like what? Like what absurdity are we
trying to say? Does your?
Consciousness need a penis. That's a quote.

(54:48):
That's a quote. That's.
So good, that is so good. Right.
Yeah, right. Yes.
So you are conscious love You are, and so is he and so is he.
And so we use duality. We use the the duality of
polarity just to help each otherOrient towards what it's like to

(55:10):
be in the same room and not end up we're both in alpha fighting,
we're both in Omega getting highand eating take out.
You know, in both of those things nobody wants to fuck,
right? It's like sloppy over here and
contentious over there. So what is polarity for?
Beautifully, it's to play but don't believe in polarity.

(55:31):
You are conscious love. He is conscious love.
You're using the distinctions ofpolarity to play well and to
realize 2 bodies as one. Ultimately, what does polarity
do? It gives you the ability to
merge so perfectly that you can't even tell the difference
between your body and his and you are delivered into the

(55:52):
mindless space stream entry. That's ultimately the goal of
love making. So again, I get a little
esoteric, but you can feel how this is possible and it's
neutral from the point of view. It's not your energy, but it's
also not not yours. It's something you have this
vessel and you know it's definedin the in the Mystics as the

(56:15):
central channel. And it can just be surging in
liquid love to the point where you are like, holy shit, I can't
believe this. And he's like, holy shit, I
can't believe this. And it comes.
How does it come to surrender? Surrender your bullshit that's
sitting on top of what you naturally are.
I love that and I that's adding a piece to this puzzle for me

(56:40):
that I mean, you know, the question that Liv was getting at
is like it, you know, it really sounds like you have to trust
yourself in order to be able to participate in this dynamic, in
this liquid love. And it sounds like what you're
saying, and correct me if I'm wrong, London, is that you

(57:00):
almost have to embody the dance of polarity within yourself
before you can embody it with another person.
Is that? Right.
You couldn't have said it better.
I call it the intermarriage. You're in deep fuck between your
seer and feeler all the time. Yeah.
And and, you know, just putting myself in my own shoes, which I

(57:21):
do all the time. And damn good ones at that.
I saw your shoes at Kapalu or when I ran into you at the
airport. I was like, I even said to
Justin, I'm like, those are somegreat shoes.
Oh my God, Do you remember? They have the little power.
They have that. Oh my.
God, you're white blue. Oh God I love those shoes.

(57:43):
I think they're knockoffs of like Prada boots.
Anyways, so. What I'm getting at is that, you
know, I can, I can take myself back to these experiences that
I've had. And Liv and I joke about these
experiences and it's so funny tolook back on those Times Now
with this lens that you're offering us London.

(58:03):
Because I don't think either oneof us had really conscious
awareness of what we were doing and why it felt so good.
But we, you know, we both, we went through breakups at the
same time and we, you know, really found a lot of healing
and connection through those breakups.
And as is the nature of, you know, getting out of a

(58:26):
relationship, you kind of are inthis like eruptive creative
state because your reality as you know it is like quite
literally just like disintegrated.
So you're just redefining your reality for yourself.
And Liv and I would get into these spaces of taking care,
like taking excellent care of ourselves and like or or I got a

(58:50):
job and I started to talk to to live about how, you know,
getting a job was felt like being an investor in our podcast
and that like I was I would say I'm daddy ING myself.
I'm being daddy. I'm providing the funds to
support this hobby that like, you know, Mellie wants to do

(59:11):
like Omega Mellie wants to participate in this.
So like daddy Mellie's going to make that happen for her.
And I would have this conversation with Liv and you
know, Liv's had plenty of of times where she would kind of
mirror the same thing and we would talk about daddying
ourselves and how that really like opened up our own realities

(59:32):
to be more creative and have more.
And so I guess our our consciousness is in that sense
did kind of have a penis. It like because they use the
word daddy but. You know.
I mean that I feel like that I don't know, am I, am I wrong?
And does that feel like the essence of what you're kind of

(59:53):
doing there and, and in that inner marriage and like
supporting your own creative endeavors as your alpha and your
Omega and kind of like energetically exchanging within
yourself to be both of those things.
And you know, I, you know. Though that temporary, that was
like a temporary state for me. I didn't feel like I wanted to
be that, play that role for myself.

(01:00:15):
Eventually I'd love to like actually have an investor or get
to a point where like this couldbe my full time thing.
But it felt so good in my body to afford myself the opportunity
to like do the creative thing I wanted to do.
And I just felt so empowered in that space.
And I don't know if that is an example of what you're talking
about, but I wanted to offer that up as potentially maybe an

(01:00:38):
example that you're talking about.
Well, how? How mystical do you want me to
answer? Whatever feels right.
Yeah, go for it. Well, women are so intelligent,
right? And I and you guys, I'm sure I
just from who the two of you are, I can only imagine who your

(01:00:59):
audience is. So I'm going to actually give
you the real answer because I think it matters.
The answer is like, yes and absolutely no.
So it is. It's a total paradox between yes
and no. Yeah, but there.
Yeah. Let's unpack that.
Because I think to really have this skill, like my personal
belief is like every woman on the planet needs to have this

(01:01:21):
skill because this skill is the only thing that gives you
security. It's the only thing that really
protects your bloom. It's where you get all the
downloads. It's where you bring through
conscious love. I mean, it's like every woman
gets this, like, watch out, you know, it's going to be fucking
awesome. So I really want to teach this

(01:01:43):
piece, but bear with me for someesoteric stuff.
Mellie, where your 100% yes is there is that element that you
evolve into where Alpha is fullytaking care of Omega, you know,
and, and like a daddy, like, youknow, the the sexualized daddy,

(01:02:04):
where it's like, yes, daddy, youknow, like Omega trusts Alpha so
much that she's just relaxing around Alpha all the time.
She's just like happy to, you know, what does a daddy
represent? You just relax all the time.
So yeah, you do want that relationship.
Now what is alpha is where we start to get into a little bit

(01:02:26):
more nuance with the teachings. So pause me on that and I'm
going to just do 1 little teaching and then answer that
back. So the teaching is, do you
remember when we went to pure awareness how it's just
presence, there's no doing. Now that's a big distinction
because we think, oh, alpha is the doer, right?

(01:02:49):
And it's like, no, not really, but kinda.
So where the answer is like absolutely not is that pure
awareness is the power of non doing.
I mean, there's no doing. It's just the constant eternal
embrace. And the reason why you want to
understand this is because your Omega would only worship that

(01:03:10):
because it's the only thing that's not changing.
Even your alpha doer is constantly changing.
Maybe one day it's a little bit of a critical judger, like are
you eating another Oreo? You know what I mean?
Or right, how about another set at the gym even though you just
tore your hamstring, you know what I mean?

(01:03:30):
Like, so if if that becomes the thing you're worshipping, your
Omega is gonna turtle into her shell pretty quick because it's
like 1 mean comment from your inner critic and she's like,
yeah, I'm not playing anymore, fuck you.
Like why would I bloom for you? You're a jerk, right?
So you always have to remember what you're actually pointing to

(01:03:52):
is pure awareness. Now, pure awareness leads to a
pretty amazing consciousness, right?
Like real amazing. And that can begin to trickle
into the human experience as a pretty amazing alpha.

(01:04:14):
But technically, we're now in the occurring changing world.
It's a form of Omega. But let's not get too technical.
That seer, when it's identifyingwith pure awareness, is
something Omega will bloom for. Remember your cervix, You know

(01:04:34):
my line. Your cervix doesn't lie.
Like she's not going to get wet if she doesn't think it's
amazing. You know, you can't be like, get
wet. You know what I mean?
Like you could squirt something and say get wet, but you can't
just like get wet, you know? So like, what causes you to get
wet? It's your bloom.
It's like the sun comes out and the petals go, yes.

(01:04:57):
So when you're looking for the petals to go, the Lotus flower
to like we're talking about pureawareness and that has nothing
to do with doing. But so glad you asked this
question. Yes, so and that's why I wanted
to give you the real answer, because if you didn't know that
you might leave this podcast andbe like super psyched to be in

(01:05:18):
relationships seer to feeler. Your seer has a really non pure
awareness identification day. And now it's just a taskmaster
critic and you're like, I don't think I like what she was
saying. You know, like you're like, I'm
not doing this anymore. This doesn't even feel good.
I can't find my feeler. FYI, If you can't find your
feeler, you know your feeler is not in worship anymore.

(01:05:41):
Your feelers like, I don't like what I'm not in worship of this,
like this is not awakening. Whether it's your man or
yourself, your own inner critic is present.
But when you pull back into pureawareness, that's always going
to bring your feeler out to play.
So if you find yourself numb, ifyou find yourself lost, if you

(01:06:04):
find yourself just in that horrible dry place, you know you
need to come back and find pure awareness.
Such a. Good nuance piece.
Such an important distinction, right?
To really know the practice so you can actually do it.
Yeah, yeah. That was that was really huge

(01:06:26):
and powerful for me. I've been talking to Mellie a
lot the last couple of weeks. My seer was definitely being
shrouded by the alpha doer that you were just describing.
And like even the inner critic, the self criticism, she and I
have both been like, that's beenvery loud lately.
And we've been, you know, lovingthrough it.
But still sometimes I get a little like lost in it and I'm

(01:06:48):
like a whole day where I'm just the fattest cow on the earth.
And that's all we need to focus on and think about.
And what I, what I really started to notice is I'll get
into these places where like my answer to everything is to like
do more of something or to abstain from something.
There's like a lot of discipline, but the discipline
has a lot of control attached toit.

(01:07:10):
So then eventually my feeler, she rebels and it becomes
compulsive and it, I, I have to do something to release the
pressure. And then I end up, I just end up
in this oscillation that drives me absolutely bonkers.
So I've been really observing myself lately and the like the
doing in the alpha is where thatdiscipline for the sake of

(01:07:32):
control comes from. And the way that I've been, the
way that I've been naming it to Mellie when I talk to her about
it is I'm like, I, I want to find and root into discipline
through devotion. And I think that's more what you
were talking about when that seer just goes right back to
that pure awareness. That's where like that devotion

(01:07:54):
space is. That's how the worship happens.
Worship and devotion are, you know, they go together.
That's what that's what that energy isn't in the connection
of it. And in the places where I've
found that just from the seer space, then my feeler, she gets
right in line. She's stoked to say no to the
thing. She's stoked to get up and go to
the gym. She's stoked to do the thing

(01:08:14):
that terrifies me and reach out to the person who I'm afraid is
going to reject me. But I want them on my podcast.
Like it's it, it sounds subtle when we speak about it in our
language, but our language is sofucking limited.
I, I genuinely feels like there is entire dimensions between the
alpha doer thing that I think capitalism has essentially

(01:08:37):
really poisoned us with, right? Like we all had to be really
good at school and we're a factory of production and I'm
writing a paper and I'm doing a math test.
And then now I have to go to college and then now I have to
go to my job so I can pay for the college that I was forced to
go into about it. And we just live in this like
constant. We were talking about it being a
hamster wheel the other day and getting off the hamster wheel is

(01:08:57):
very disorienting. But I think these concepts that
you're talking about with the, the C or this pure awareness and
the Omega experiencing that aspect, like it's the actual
lived experience in the 3D that feels of all, all of the
esoteric spiritual consciousnessthings I've consumed, which has
been a lot over 13 years, that feels the most grounded and

(01:09:22):
practical. And I love that.
It's like an inner marriage. And it feels like if you can
nail that inner marriage, then you know what it's supposed to
look like outside of you, like actual marriage.
That's what I'm taking from all of this.
I just needed to let you know you, you helped me like put
together all these things that for two weeks I've been like,
these pieces go together somehowyou.

(01:09:43):
Said it beautifully. And hearing you grok it is
magic. I love the.
I mean, yeah, like you're totally getting it.
You're. But you're getting it like
embodied. It's magic.
It's magic. And I want to add a, a layer of

(01:10:04):
understanding on top of that because like, you know, how you
talked so beautifully about likegoing for control to try and
find that security, like controlpromises security.
Like everything's fucking chaos.I just need to control
something. OK?
I'm going to control my food. I'm going to control my size.
Yep. But then Omega Rebels, and now

(01:10:25):
you're even more out of control,you know, And there's that
element when you turn to controlfor trust.
Can you see you're trying to trust?
So you go for something you can control because you need
something that is a constant to trust.
Trust doesn't come with change. Trusts come with constant

(01:10:46):
control promises a constant likewe'll be off sugar for 30 days
or whole 30. We're gonna be no processed food
for 30. Well, that would create a
constant that would create trustfor you.
But the problem is it's almost impossible to like.

(01:11:06):
Well, there's other things that I could say about why Omega
Rebels like, you know, but I won't go there to like distract.
But FYI, it's really hard to discipline yourself through
control and it almost always fails.
Wait, we could talk about why, but that's a separate
discussion. But ultimately that control, may
you always remember, is about trying to locate yourself in

(01:11:29):
something that you can trust. And then you fuck it up and
you're like, look, I can't trust.
And then you get more scared andthen you want more control and
then you get more scared and then you and then you just are
like, Oh my God, I'm like flailing.
If you could do a meditation, just put the thoughts down to
the right, put the feelings downto the left.
What's left? Pure awareness.

(01:11:51):
Guess what? You just touched the constant
that has never changed once in your whole knowing of this
lifetime. Same you looking in the mirror
at 10 is the same you that looked in the mirror at 1620.
You know 29. It's been the same you that's

(01:12:12):
knowing that you are you. You have a constant called the
eternal embrace that immediatelyrelaxes.
Now your Omega relaxes and can surrender.
And when she surrenders, all thenourishment comes in.
You don't need the Oreo. That's why she suddenly just

(01:12:32):
gets back on track, because the control makes her feel more like
a braced, more violated, more penetrated.
Now she's like comfort eating. Because your seer is a fucking
asshole and she's just trying tosoothe herself because she's
already scared and now there's critic and it's constantly

(01:12:53):
changing and like, what do I anchor myself into?
There's, there's nothing you cananchor yourself into other than
pure awareness that will ever feel good, including your man.
We're not looking to anchor intoour men.
They're mere mortals. We're looking to anchor into the
divine and then offer that as he's doing the same with you.

(01:13:14):
And then now you have a relationship that is like
fucking. You're making love through
anything because you're both coming from such a gorgeous
place. It's like you're just, you know,
constellations fucking rather than like, you know?

(01:13:35):
Oh my God. This conversation is so fire.
I. I, I, yeah, I'm, I'm obsessed
with your wisdom. Yeah.
Well, I don't want to be fair. This is not my wisdom.
This is the wisdom of Mystics that's becoming available to the

(01:13:56):
householder. What you're obsessed with is
that I'm practicing this shit all my life.
Well, when I, when I, when I, when I perceive wisdom, it, it's
more than just knowledge. I've, I've known a lot of
people. This happens in the spiritual
community a lot actually, Millieand I get really annoyed by this
a lot. They consume the wisdom of
someone else and they don't liveit, they don't breathe it.

(01:14:18):
It's not actually an embodied practice.
It's not something that they've verified in, in their vessel.
And so it is not wisdom. It's appropriated knowledge.
It's fragmented, it's disintegrated.
So when I say your wisdom, it's like, oh, you actually practice
this and you're doing it. And I know you are because the
way that you're responding to the questions, the way that
you're moving, the even just like the actual frequency of

(01:14:41):
your voice is resonating in truth, my body's snapping to it.
As soon as you say a thing, my body's responding.
That's truth, That's truth, that's truth.
And then from here up, my, it's like light is filtered into all
these dark corners of my mind. And that's how I'm going.
Oh, I can see, I see this. I see that all these go
together. Yes.
So you're right. It is.
It is the practice of the wisdomfor damn freaking sure and.

(01:15:04):
It's. 20 years very well spent. Thank you for sharing with.
Everybody well, that's why I saypractitioner first.
I never want to fucking be that person that's talking about
shit. I'm not living.
You know, I am not about that practitioner first.
And, and what's so beautiful is when you're a practitioner

(01:15:25):
first, like you're just, you're inviting people into it because
we're the same. We're the same.
Like this is, this is the wisdomthat's available for us if we,
and honestly, I don't want to belike a reductionist, but like,
if the only step you took out oflistening to this podcast was to

(01:15:48):
connect with your prayer awareness, like that would be
enough to set you on the path because some part of you will
relax so deeply. Once it, I have clients where if
we touch that space for 5 minutes, half of their struggle
is just immediately erased. Clarity comes in, surrender

(01:16:09):
becomes available, and then suddenly nourishment and, and
now they've got the cauldron awakening.
Because remember, once you touchpure awareness, you're inviting
Omega to play. And now it gets good because the
cauldron awakens. Like imagine that brew that's in
your pelvic bowl and your womb, you know, like where where the

(01:16:31):
goddess dances. Like she just begins dancing
because she's like, you heard it.
You heard it. And then that bubbles into the
heart. And then the heart's melting and
then that bubbles into the expression.
And now you know, I have this practice I would really
encourage for Omega where you sing your heart.
So you just sit down at any one moment and you take a deep

(01:16:51):
breath into your low belly cauldron and then you sound the
resonance of your heart. So I'll show you what this looks
like. That's just like what's here
right now. But like, you do this for 5
minutes a day and you're harmonizing cauldron and heart
and throat and you're literally,you're just the living surrender

(01:17:14):
to some, to the mystery, the living.
So I gave you the alpha practice, which is that pure
awareness landing. That's the Omega practice, which
is unity, Yoni, heart, throat, resonating.
You know, like, 'cause when you get the sound to be as authentic
and real and raw as it as it canbe, suddenly it's like turning

(01:17:37):
you on. Meaning like your Yoni's getting
excited, your heart's getting excited, and your throat is, you
can feel the vibration. And like, just those two
practices alone, you're like living on the magic carpet.
You know what I mean? And that's why I say
practitioner first. Like, you don't have to
understand a single fucking thing I've said.

(01:17:58):
If you just do those practices, they're going to do you.
Oh, I love that I'm. So isn't that so cool I'm.
So excited. I'm like I'm.
Going to start this today. This podcast is over.
We got to go. I'm going to be cold drinking
and hell yeah every morning. Yeah, that's what I'm talking
about. That's what I'm talking about,

(01:18:19):
yeah, Yeah. No, that's amazing.
Thank you so much. Yeah, this has been so juicy.
I'm like, yeah, I, I, me and Livare going to be talking about
this for a. While.
We're probably going to have twofull months of epiphanies.
Yeah. Doing the practices.
Thank you. So much London.
Honestly, this has been so incredible and I just know that,

(01:18:42):
you know, so many people are just going to get so much out of
this. I would love for you to just
share where people can find you because I know they're going to
want to well. We have two books on Amazon,
Playing with Fire, The SpiritualPath of Intimate Relationship.
You got to put in the subtitle or you'll get a romance novel
and then Awaken Woman's Guide toEverlasting Love.

(01:19:04):
Those are both on Amazon. And then my website is London
Angel Winters dot com and it's London with an ILONDIN.
And we also are on Patreon with like 6 years, seven years of
recordings monthly, you know? Yeah, and infinite practices.

(01:19:28):
And it's $30.00 a month for women.
Yeah, I didn't even know that. Yeah, I have so many people.
Bro, I'm signing up. I know they do live dollars a
month as well monthly for. Yeah, we do laser coaching for
anyone. I used.
To be yeah, OK, I did it for a period of time.
It was great, Yeah. I can't tell you how many people

(01:19:48):
I meet that have listened to every single call going all the
way back to 2000 and I think 17.Wow, it is just like endless
material on there. So yeah, thank you.
And then a lot of practices because we didn't even talk
about the receptive breath. So I recommend if you get on
Patreon, go find that right, Mellie, go find that receptive

(01:20:10):
breath practice. There is so much.
I taught a women's weekend last weekend and I led the receptive
breath practice on Saturday night.
And at the end we did a women's,you know, we did a closing
circle and one woman said that was the best sex I've ever had.
And it was with myself. Yes, that's so good.

(01:20:34):
Receptive breath practice. Look it up.
Yeah. All right, cliffhanger for
y'all. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Well, thank you again, London. This has been magical.
And we just can't. I just can't thank you enough.
This has. Been.
So, so profoundly moving. My pleasure, my pleasure.
Thank you. Yeah, well, babes, that is a

(01:20:56):
wrap. Holy crap.
I feel like I don't really have.I'm like.
Like rate, subscribe, you know, share.
The thing You know what to do? Yeah.
Tell us what you think. We love you so much and we'll
see you next time. Babes.
Babes. Thank you for listening to Babe

(01:21:16):
Philosophy. If you enjoy the show, please
like, rate and subscribe wherever you listen and follow
us on Instagram at Babe dot Philosophy.
Later babes.

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