back from the borderline

Modern dating is currently stuck in a strange paralysis. Everyone looks better than ever, but actual desire is missing. Men are told to become sculpted superheroes to win affection. Women are told they should want them. Almost no one is satisfied with the result. This is part one of an investigation into why.

In this episode, we bypass the gym-optimized fantasy to look at the figures that actually haunt the female imagination. W...

Most people move through their day assuming the voice in their head belongs to them. The commentary that explains our reactions, the phrases that seem to pop in our minds when we’re about to speak. Even the language we use to justify what we feel, and why we choose to keep going inside this confusing-as-hell human experience in our meat suits. All of that comes from inside us, right?

The disconcerting reality is that if you spen...

Trend culture these days moves faster than any of us can keep up with. What was framed as essential a few months ago is quickly recoded as dated or embarrassing, replaced by a new “aesthetic.” For many of us, this produces that dreaded feeling: plenty of clothes, but very little (or no) sense of personal style. But I’m here with a spoiler alert for you, my lovely listener. The problem is not your taste level, it’s the system.

For the highly sensitive, intuitive, and intense people among us, our greatest gift is often the source of our deepest interpersonal suffering.

We pick up on invisible tells and subconscious subtext that others miss. We can just feel when the energy shifts. But when we try to speak that truth to the person on the other end, we often make the mistake of outsourcing our validation. We get upset that they aren't seeing our version ...

These five “survival spells” once kept you safe. Now they’re quietly running your life.

Many adults live with a constant undercurrent of tension. Rest feels conditional. Even moments of safety carry a sense of hypervigilance. This episode explores the internal logic behind that state that so many of us are trapped in.

Together, we’ll examine five psychological illusions that often shape adulthood beneath our conscious awarene...

This episode examines limerence not as a personality flaw or a trendy attachment term, but as a learned psychological strategy that begins in childhood. Rather than treating obsession as irrational, we explore how it develops as a way to survive inconsistent, misattuned, or emotionally absent parenting, and how that same strategy later shows up in adult relationships.

This phenomenon explains why so many of us become fixated on ...

This preview of a Patreon-exclusive episode breaks down exactly how Nick Fuentes functions as a media figure and why his influence persists despite bans, persistent backlash, and public condemnation. Rather than arguing about whether or not he is dangerous, I analyze how his livestreams work in practice. We dig into the role humor plays in his persona, explore chat dynamics his his livestreams, and how irony creates commitment and ...

This episode examines what happens when the instinct to please, fix, and perform finally breaks down. It’s an archetypal investigation into three roles that often define women’s emotional lives: the Good Child who earns love, the Witch who learns to wield power, and the Daughter-Savior who tries to repair everyone else’s pain. Through personal narrative, cultural analysis, and depth psychology, this story uncovers how these identit...

This is what it actually takes to stop caring what people think. For real this time.

Every person who grew up managing the reactions of parents, partners, and strangers online knows the courtroom that forms in your head. It’s where you replay every sentence you’ve said, trying to prove that you’re right or somehow good enough. This episode examines where this mental reflex takes root and why it survives long into adulthood, ofte...

AI isn’t abstract anymore. It’s showing up in the deepest parts of our lives People are using it at the exact moments they used to reach for a journal, a friend, or a distraction. That’s the territory we step into in this episode. I invited Dr. Laurence Hillman and Dr. Vanja Bokun Popović to join this conversation because both of them watch how inner life actually works through years of sitting with clients, students, and thei...

This is part two of our investigation into the market built around women’s bodies and the systems that keep that market running. Be sure to listen to part one first if you haven’t already. In that first installment, we mapped the world that turns women into atmosphere, entertainment, or labor.

This episode stays with the same investigation but shifts the angle. We will move our focus to demand. Our story will look at boys raised...

This is a two-part investigation into the market built around women’s bodies and the systems that keep that market running. From there, the episode follows the environments that feed this system, from the hostess world to the online spaces where attention pays.

Caroline Myss’s writing on the Prostitute Archetype offers a way to understand the inner bargains women make under pressure, while Rachel Moran’s account of prostitution ...

What if your heartbreak was an initiation?

This episode explores heartbreak as an occult process that remakes you from the insight out. We examine limerence (that obsessive, addictive infatuation), the ancient Greek concept of Eros as daimon (a spirit that seizes you, not a choice you make), and the alchemical function of grief.

You'll discover why the person you loved was a projection of your own soul, why heartbreak feels l...

For centuries, the Holy Grail has been treated as a Christian relic or a medieval myth. But the Grail is far older than this, and its meaning was never meant to be lost.

In this episode, we will follow the lineage of the sacred cup from prehistoric carvings and Celtic cauldrons to the Grail romances, alchemy, and depth psychology. You’ll travel through the hidden history of Western esotericism, where ancient goddess traditions,...

The popular image of Satanism belongs to horror movies, pentagrams, and black candles, but the real influence sits in work culture and the chase for personal. A promotion. A streak of discipline that borders on obsession. A pressure to build a better version of yourself every month of the year. The figure of Lucifer becomes a shorthand for the belief that the Self should take priority above all else.

The episode follows this idea fr...

One single mistake online can set off a collective judgment that moves faster than thought itself. A name starts to trend and a crowd quickly forms around it. The event feels public, but it somehow reaches into private instinct. The pull to condemn and to belong. But most importantly, to feel clean or more pure through accusation.

In this episode, we’ll dig into exactly how outrage becomes a shared ritual of moral performance. W...

Your unhappiness is sacred data.

The woman who refuses to smile has been treated as a problem for millennia. Ancient Greeks blamed her wandering womb. Victorians diagnosed her with hysteria. The 1950s prescribed tranquilizers as "mother's little helper." Every era finds its own brand new language for the same mandate: women must be calm. The happiness imperative functions as social control. "Lean In" feminism and tradwife fantas...

AI is changing how culture gets made, and it's happening fast. Text, images, and ideas... all produced faster than anyone can actually think about them. The internet feels somehow overfed and undernourished all at once.

But inside that noise, a new creative intelligence is forming. This episode looks at that emergence. The first Renaissance began in ruins, in a dark age when imagination and science stopped competing and started ...

John Dee built the blueprint for modern intelligence long before the word “scientist” even existed. He mapped stars while designing encryption systems and spoke to what he called angels through a black “scrying” mirror that still sits in the British Museum to this day. Queen Elizabeth herself trusted him. Europe feared him and often regarded him as a dangerous heretic. Silicon Valley would’ve hired him instantly.

The tale we’re ...