Back Row Seating

*There are some audio issues for the first nine minutes or so, but it's fine afterwards :)

Another glorious summer. It makes me sick...

Fortunately, autumn is fast approaching, except in Texas, but I hear it's the most wonderful time of the year up in the Northeast U.S.! So why not bring along a true Bostonian to school us in the ways of leaf peeping and witchcraft?

The magical tome of spells in question? Well, I've ne...

It's time to hop into the way-way-back machine and hop into another Paul Thomas Anderson romp through the 1970's! only this time, it's spearheaded by my longtime film-nemesis, Mark Wahlberg... That said, there's an all-star cast surrounding this young lad, so perhaps it won't be too hard to watch; we already know PTA's soundtrack and atmosphere will be on point.

Surely we won't see Markie Mark's o-fa...

This episode has a very high level of badness for its size. We'll have to fix that, with abnormal dialogue about alien taxonomy! but, really, this movie is about family, which not even Gantu is stronger than. Straight from that soft spot of my childhood comes, perhaps, my favorite Disney film -along with Hercules, Hunchback, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast (all number one, duh)- brings a ton of great memories, and certainl...

If you read the description for the Van Helsing episode, and you also know better, you might know that TheDeadedNeko made a fool of me... Well, now it's time for my retribution! Going into this with zero clue as to what we're watching, watch as our Neko friend is terrified to learn that we're watching four old ladies thirsting over Tom Brady for an hour and a half, with Guy Fieri! Well, now that I think about it, this p...

Once more, into the branch! or breach. Definitely the Whomping Willow. We return to the wizarding world of Hogwarts with two new guests, and find the universe to be far more dark and harrowing than the previous two entries. What gives? Well, Alfonso Cuarón happened, and sweet, sneaky murder happened, at least toward Lily and James Potter. Between that and ratatouille being cooked, what else awaits our unsuspecting viewers?! Come al...

Oh, Canada... In a film that wholly sticks to the stereotypes of South Park, Stan Helsing manages to keep me laughing- to keep me from crying. At least Kenan Thompson is along for the ride, but I don't think Van Stan from Reba or two legitimately good jokes will be enough for me to survive this one... And just when I thought Van Helsing (2004) was a schlock fest, we manage to stumble upon a film that's even worse!

Oh no, Ca...

What do you do when your buddy loves spoof movies, wants to guest star on your podcast on all of them, and talks VERY highly about Stan Helsing, in particular? Well, I guess that means we have to start back at the nexus: Van Halsing. While I've never seen it, I'm quite familiar with the Underworld films, the Resident Evil films, all the early 2000s "dark" horror fare upon which this film seems to be propagated aro...

Well hey! We're gonna get on back to my 90's childhood with a movie released a year before I was born; and certainly one that is quite a bit near and dear to my heart. As somebody who's never exactly pined for the mainstream assembly, I've always had something of an affinity for Belle as a character, and we're going to explore, not only her, but the film as a whole, including Disney mad attempts to claw out a spot for an Oscar on t...

I've been waiting for this! One of the best reasons to wax poetic about the internet is the wide spread of information, so you can bet I was in awe when I saw an image online of a half-man half-bear creature wielding a rail gun in what was supposed to be "the Russian Avengers". Needless to say, I moved heaven and Earth to find a copy, and now here we are, atop the precipice of greatness. Will this film be off-the-wall amazing? or '...

We're off to face abnormal social norms on the fictitious island of Inisherin! Having heard nothing but glowing reviews about this hilariously dark humored film, I'm quite excited to check in and see what all is going on in Martin McDonagh's filmography; after all, this is a reunion between him and the two lead actors. Will it live up to the height? I mean, it was nominated for Best Picture against my reigning best film of 2022, Ev...

It's Oscar season! and you know what that means? Snub lists galore of films unduly left out of the festivities. First and foremost among them is RRR, which was nominated for an original song Academy Award, but which falls far short of the praise many of this film's fans feel it deserves. So we're gonna check it out and see if they have a point! I've heard just about everything there is to hear about a movie when it comes to RRR, so...

Ah, childhood. So much fun, what with the majesty of staying up all night, not caring about health or the well-being of others beyond my immediate sphere of external understanding, and giant Pokémon gods stealing mothers and using them to fulfill the fever dream of a tiny girl. Yes, that means it's time to check out the third Pokémon film! one of the most baller films of my childhood, right there nestled along with Digimon: The Mov...